WAY OT: Ex's and their lives

Penni60 · October 27, 2005

This has absolutely nothing to do with weight loss but had to share this tidbit.

Just recently I was looking on this site where you can get in contact with old classmates from Grade school, high school, etc. I found one person that I had lost contact with since grade school days. I emailed her and we have been chatting back and forth. NICE RIGHT?

Let me give you a brief history on this person. She slept with my Husband while I was working the graveyard shift at pizza Hut years ago. I found out about it a year later. The funny thing is I was never as pissed at her as I was at him. LOL!!

So we lost contact till I found her on the website. Now she emails me this morning and says. "How did you deal with raising your 4 kids all by yourself after Fred left?" Fred is my EX. She has some troubles with her oldest daughter that I share with my oldest. So she is asking me for some advice on how to deal with it all.

I know this is long and probably confusing, but it just amazes me on so many levels.

First, How you can be so close to someone that you can't see the deceipt.

Second, How you can be so forgiving or accepting of something you know is wrong.

Third, How you develop this hard heart toward the outside world.

Fourth, How you suddenly change and find yourself again.

Fifth, How your heart begins to thaw and forgives.

Sixth, How you feel a NEED to connect with people again.

Seventh, How you have no more anger or hurt for people that have wronged you.

Eighth, How you can feel the other person's pain and empathize.

Ninth, How you feel like offering some of your wisdome.

Tenth, How you want to shake them and say WAKE UP don't make the same mistake I did.

Is it because we mellow with age or just get prettier. LOL!!!

mousecrazy · October 27, 2005

I've thought about some of these ideas, and perhaps we will never know, exactly, how it works. I would say through Grace of God, but you may not be a believer. Many of the things that would be very upsetting when I was younger, are not now. It might be mellowing, it might be maturity...it might be that with experience, we have gained compassion. Of course, we are prettier, too!

I think it would be appropriate to share your lessons with others...isn't that what we are supposed to do? Help each other along this journey? The forgiveness was probably the most difficult, and you've already done that.

I like this thread; it made me think. Cindy

Penni60 · October 27, 2005

Mousecrazy: I do firmly believe it is by "GOD's GRACE" I was able to forgive and move on. I know he has opened my heart on more than one occasion. Sometimes the head is the issue more than the heart. The heart is willing but the head is stubborn. LOL!!! I am guilty.

DeLarla · October 27, 2005

My highschool girlfriend that came to Vegas a few weeks back and made me go to a Strip Club found me on Classmates.com. I've hooked up with most of my friends that way. Now she wants me to go to Simi Valley to do a Slumber Party. Maybe I'll do another party at Dr. Billy's for his girls!

divaliciousdee · October 27, 2005

come on Delovely Delarla your friend MADE you go to a strip club.....okay if that is your story...LMAO

mousecrazy · October 27, 2005

Penni, I'm a hard-headed woman myself, and that can be a good thing, right?! I only added "you may not be a believer" so as not to cause offense to anyone else...and just to say what is my explanation of the changes we experience in time. Hope I did not offend you in saying that. Some of the questions you pose remind me of issues brought up in 12-Step programs (Al-Anon).

Your post is very enlightening! Cindy