The Guilt of Being a Slow Loser

[jessiecms 1]

Thank you thank you for this post! I have a huge post up called "My Story" that explains my tale of woe, but the upshot is that I had surgery, was sick for a year and lost a ton of weight, then got better and gained fifty pounds. Now I am stable and was thinking of giving up until I found this site. I am so inspired! I've been putting off getting a fill because I was humiliated, but to heck with that! I don't have to impress anyone but myself!!

[SassyB 0]

This really is a good thread. One of the problems I have is that my job as a secretary doesn't allow me to get much movement throughout the day, which causes the urge to want to eat. I haven't lost much in lbs but I am noticing a difference with inches. Yesterday I was able to put on, button and zip up a pair of pants that long before surgery seemed to be about 3-4 inches before they would close. What are you all eating throughout the day. This is the type of eating I generally do:

5am - banana.

7am/8am - OH YEAH (32g) Protein shake.

1:15 - Small garden salad (vinegarette dressing) w/ a few grilled chicken or shrimp pieces (less than 3oz.).

4pm/5pm - Greek Yogurt (13g protein) or Muscle Milk Light Protein Shake (20g protein).

8pm - Small tilapia filet cooked in pan with Pam (olive oil spray) and a small garden salad (vinegarette dressing).

10pm - Sugarfree pudding or Jello.

I'm so very bored with planning what I'm going to eat. HELP!!!

[dean123 0]

I to do not feel significant restriction, early satiety, or appetite suppression. My doc told me he had been conservative in my last couple of fills. He said I am not sensating the fullness like most people do and I may not be getting the proper fill. He told me last time when I was to the point where I thought he wanted me to be I had less Fluid than I did the last time. So he started over and put in an extra cc from the time before. Yet still no feeling of restriction like most people say. Never had a feeling of anything being stuck and somedays I can eat everything in site. Also, I have not always been compliant. Drinking with meals was my biggest down fall and hardest habit to break. I have finally conqured that obstical. Now I just need to realize when to stop eating since I do not feel any restriction. I go Thursday for a fill. I think I am going to tell him to just add a cc and go from there, as long as I can have the Water go down smooth. I just want this to work. I had band on 11-25-2009 and I am down 20 pounds and up and down 5 pounds here and there.

Thank you for the post, I am so glad to hear advice and encouragment.

[paisleypea 1]

I so GET what you all are feeling --- and am glad to find some others who are in the same place I am. I got the band on June 15, 2009. I had 3 fills and lost 9 pounds pre-surgery and then have lost 31 pounds since then. However, my last fill was in October 2009 and it was kind of rough. But I decided to tough it out, that it would stretch out and I'd be fine. then life got crazy cuz in Nov we decided to sell our house and started working for 3 weeks to prepare it. Then we sold it in 12 days - just before Christmas! then the holidays and the frantic search for a house to buy. We moved in Feb. We went to Mexico 2 weeks ago for Spring Break. In all this time, it was easier to eat slider foods and make sure I had lots of sauce on my food. this week, back home - it began to really be hard to eat. 2 days I had nothing go down and even the Protein shake "hurt" going down. I knew I had to go back, but didn't want to. I have been this same weight since November! ugh!

But I went back today and he took 1 cc out of my band. I'm a tiny bit scared that I'll overeat now cuz I can actually eat. I had to confess my coping with the band in not eating healthy at all. (potato chips in sour cream go down easy you know) He said to come back in a month but for now to jump-start my loss by going to a high Protein, low carb diet of 800 - 1000 calories. oh I hope I can do this! Otherwise I'm going to have to meet with the nutritionist, who is an out-of-pocket expense of $50 and I "know" it already.

I even stayed off the forums since Oct. as I struggled thru the winter. Glad I found ya'll.

How are you doing?

[scrappin spud 0]

Boy am I glad that this thread was started, and I am thankful that I am not alone...I got into the dr tomorrow for my 3rd fill...I was banded 10/29 and have only lost 20 pounds...lately I feel hungry all of the time...did have my thyroid checked and found that I am hypo and started meds...hopefully with a new fill and thryoid meds, I will feel like exercising more...I am so tired some days that I could sleep from 4:00 in the afternoon until morning....I thought losing weight was to help with energy and instead I feel more emotionally tired and physically exhausted.

Thanks everyone for posting, it gives me hope that I can start each day new.:thumbdown:

[jldchester 0]

Well here I go again. Another month gone by and no weightloss. I go to the Doc on Thursday - I can't wait to hear all his negative comments. I have no restriction at all - I can even eat bread again.

UUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!

I have been in and out of that Dr.'s office every month since surgery. I need help.:thumbup:

[darby81805 0]

This is SO what I am dealing with right now. I was banded in 2008 and have only lost 60 lbs. I am still stuck at 220 lbs and feel complete guilt and shame and failure. It has an added pressure for me because my mom paid for the surgery. I know she would NEVER say anything or make me feel bad but I still struggle internally. I also have the added pressure of working with someone whose wife was hugely successful with the lap band and she was banded only about 4 months before me. Also a lot of the clients that come through our office also know I had the surgery and I despise when the topic ever turns to that because I am still struggling. I don't know how to be okay with myself when at the age of 32 and 3 years post-op I am STILL dealing with the same problems I struggled with when I was 13. It's such an emotional roller coaster. I want to feel happy and okay with myself but I can't seem to get there.

[darby81805 0]

Sorry...correction. I was banded October of 2007.

[jldchester 0]

Sorry...correction. I was banded October of 2007.

Darby

Have you been into the Dr. lately for a fill? Maybe that's what you need to get jump started again. I myself am still struggling. Right now I can eat anything I want. Don't have to take small bites or chew, chew,chew. I also work with others and have friends who have been very successful with their surgeries. I get embarrassed and feel ashamed I even told people I had surgery. I feel I have to explain why I am failing.

Hey its a New Year, lets get it started right and win this battle!

Jamie

[jldchester 0]

This is SO what I am dealing with right now. I was banded in 2008 and have only lost 60 lbs. I am still stuck at 220 lbs and feel complete guilt and shame and failure. It has an added pressure for me because my mom paid for the surgery. I know she would NEVER say anything or make me feel bad but I still struggle internally. I also have the added pressure of working with someone whose wife was hugely successful with the lap band and she was banded only about 4 months before me. Also a lot of the clients that come through our office also know I had the surgery and I despise when the topic ever turns to that because I am still struggling. I don't know how to be okay with myself when at the age of 32 and 3 years post-op I am STILL dealing with the same problems I struggled with when I was 13. It's such an emotional roller coaster. I want to feel happy and okay with myself but I can't seem to get there.

Losing 60 is awesome! Better than gaining!

[darby81805 0]

I haven't seen my doctor in a really long time. I know that is not responsible of me at all but to be perfectly honest I feel as long as I don't get another fill at least I don't have to face another possible failure. That probably sounds completely absurd but it's just my mindset right now. I want SO BADLY for this to work for me the way it has worked for so many others and as long as I don't get a fill I don't have to say "Well that didn't work either." Honestly as little as I eat I should be a heck of a lot smaller than I am so I completely don't get it. Most days I eat a Protein Bar or greek yogurt with granola for Breakfast, usually can't get a whole lean cuisine down for lunch, and then dinner is whatever the rest of the family is eating and I STILL CANNOT LOSE WEIGHT. I will take responsibility and say that I don't exercise as often as I need to but I do exercise and I should be losing more weight that I am!!!!!!!! I'm not gaining ridiculous amounts of weight but I do fluctuate 5lbs. Unfortuantely its that back and forth that is discouraging me. I will exercise 6 days a week for a month and lose a few pounds and then the second I go down to 3 or 4 days a week the weight comes back on. I am trying to break out of this funk but it has been hard to say the least.

[dylanthomas99 0]

Thank god for this thread, I to am a slow loser banded on 24/10/10 lost 14lbs got my 3rd fill on 24/3/11. I find it very difficult with alot of foods eating less than half before being banded so was expecting more weight loss, I am registered disable due to mutiple problems so exercise is very sedate, but surgeons knew this before my op and had said this surgery was ideal for me because it cut down the amount of food we eat, not what food. Just hoping this fill helps but not really expecting much as im noy hardly eat much at all :-(

[Meliwriter 9]

HI All!

I thought I would take a few moments to check-in and update you on my progress thus far. Yesterday I was flipping through the channels and Dr. Oz was doing a segment on the lapband and he brought in two women at different stages post surgery to talk about their experience. The first woman was only 6 months out, the second six years out. They were both successful in losing weight but the second woman who was much father along in her journey had a harder time losing the weight than most. She also talked about how maintaining wasn't easy, that she could easily gain 15 lbs by not paying attention and then would have to get out the rules and go back to the basics to lose the weight. I was glad to hear someone on TV sharing this side of post surgery world. It seems like people present it like the weight is guaranteed to come off, but it simply doesn't work the same in all bodies.

So where am I? I actually was completely frustrated had not lost any weight for 8 months and just gave up. I gained fifteen lbs from the summer to the holiday season. Meanwhile my Dr told me there was nothing he could do, that I probably should have the gastric bypass and we should submit a request to the insurance company. I had to jump through a ton of hoops again, pay tons of money for testing only to be denied because there were no documented complications with the band. The moment my Dr knew they insurance wasn't paying they basically dropped me and I couldn't get any information from them in nearly 6 weeks.

I realized that they were the problem. Switched doctors and lost all 15lbs in six weeks. My new doctor didn't see anything wrong with my band and felt confident I could be successful. The program is drastically different from the one I was originally in and they had much more complex guidelines for what you could eat, when you could eat it and how you should monitor your nutrition and exercise. I have to admit. I'm now stuck at my original plateau amount, but this time I believe I can break through and feel like I have the tools, the resources, and the support to do it. I've also motivated my family to get healthy together. At first they would just complain and tell me how unfair it was that I had the surgery and they didn't. But I try to be honest about my struggles and challenges and let them know that we are in this together. At this point I need someone to be cheering me on and if people just want to stand in my way or hold me back, I simply don't have time for that. They can either be part of the problem or part of the solution.

I've come to accept that no matter what, this is simply not going to be an easy journey. But I will reach my goal, even if it takes me five years! My words of wisdom, for what they are worth....

• If you are having trouble, please reach out to you doctor. The fills are key. My band was basically full before I got restriction. Don't be afraid to ask for an adjustment. I've learned the NPs will sometimes be conservative but you know if you are too tight or too loose tell them. They are supposed to be there to help you and if they aren't supportive find someone who is. (remember, part of the problem or part of the solution...)
• Stick to the rules. My new guidelines have strict protocol for eating after fills. I'm not sure why there are o many varying guidelines, but for me i know that if i follow the rules the weight comes off and if don't I maintain or gain. For me it wasn't just about total calories, it was about the type of calories. I realized I needed to be pushing myself to eat veggies that are more filling and not relying on softer foods that are less filling but easier to eat. (note:I was not eating slider foods, I just started avoiding foods that were healthy because they were harder to eat and sometimes got stuck.)
• Be active. My first year was working out like crazy. Then I injured myself and was in PT for two months out of the gym for four months...I had to get creative to keep m activity level up. I picked up shadow boxing (while seated) and got a decent cardio workout , started lifting weights, doing low impact activities when possible. Anything to keep my muscles active. The most important thing here is increasing your metabolism. I've been told that your body can adapt to the smaller amount of calories. it simply becomes more efficient. Muscle helps reverse that.
• Know that you aren't alone. Keep posting and reading the stories (both successes and challenges) of others. It will remind you of the bigger picture. It's easy to throw a pity party for yourself, but it's more productive to acknowledge your fears, frustrations, anger, or concerns and then look for a solution. We are here to help you find that solution.

Ultimately you know what is best for your body and don't let others tell you different. if anyone wants more detail about my New Dr., his recommendations, and how they differ from my first Dr. send me an private message!

[Meliwriter 9]

Are you keeping track of the types of food you are eating? Meeting your Protein goals as well as your calorie intake? My previous doctor worked off of the MO that if you just ate less you would lose weight. My new doctor (who also has a band) doesn't believe that is true, that for some patients you do need to follow stict guidelines on what types of things you are eating. Your body is smart and it adapts quickly. if you aren't getting the right mix of nutrients or breakdown of Protein, carbs, fat and Fiber, your body can go wonky on you and refuse to lose weight. It's basically operating in starvation mode. Of course if I knew the secret to jumping out of that plateau I would be rich!

You've only had three fills! It took a lot longer for me to even get real restriction. I was a year in before it happened. At least you know you aren't alone and this isn't completely unheard of!

Thank god for this thread, I to am a slow loser banded on 24/10/10 lost 14lbs got my 3rd fill on 24/3/11. I find it very difficult with alot of foods eating less than half before being banded so was expecting more weight loss, I am registered disable due to mutiple problems so exercise is very sedate, but surgeons knew this before my op and had said this surgery was ideal for me because it cut down the amount of food we eat, not what food. Just hoping this fill helps but not really expecting much as im noy hardly eat much at all :-(

[dylanthomas99 0]

Are you keeping track of the types of food you are eating? Meeting your Protein goals as well as your calorie intake? My previous doctor worked off of the MO that if you just ate less you would lose weight. My new doctor (who also has a band) doesn't believe that is true, that for some patients you do need to follow stict guidelines on what types of things you are eating. Your body is smart and it adapts quickly. if you aren't getting the right mix of nutrients or breakdown of Protein, carbs, fat and Fiber, your body can go wonky on you and refuse to lose weight. It's basically operating in starvation mode. Of course if I knew the secret to jumping out of that plateau I would be rich!

You've only had three fills! It took a lot longer for me to even get real restriction. I was a year in before it happened. At least you know you aren't alone and this isn't completely unheard of!

Weight has started to come off now since my 3rd fill, dropped a dress size so fingers crossed will continue thanks for replying x x