Getting my life back.

[NYSparklegirl 1]

Hi fellow Banders,

I have just set my surgery date for February eighth. I am now running from doctor to doctor recieving consults and having exams....this is exhausting but apparently necessary so I am running!!!! I have just one more consult to schedule...Psych! Saved that one for last. lol Figured if im still sane after all the above.. then I must be ready for surgery!

I decided to band for several reasons. They are really all connected as you will understand as you see......before I married I was a size 12 and 145 pds. I lived in NYC, had no car so exercize by walking was natural. After marriage at 32..I began to gain some weight....then became pregnant.

High blood pressure put me on bed rest for 6 months. The weight continued to 190. My husband wasnt really helpful in the healthy food dept so while on bed rest..fast food was really what we lived on. After the baby was born....ten yrs ago....the weight stayed.

The typical stressers of life after having a baby while working full time set in and the weight still didnt come off.

At the same time my husband at the time decided he didnt want to work anymore and wanted to just sit home and do nothing. well, not nothing but which ammounted to nothing but schemes and pyramids....We divorced after 7 yrs.

Three months after we divorced he had a massive heart attack and died after not following doctors orders about taking medications daily which he refused to take/do. (like work) leaving me and my daughter without any support or insurance.

(just a note to all parents..get life insurance...and never put a minor childs name to be a beneficiary to anything ever)!

Since then....the stressors have increased with being a single parent with no support. So another 20 pounds have added since..the divorce and his passing.

I want my life back!! Ive decided in the last year....it was time to begin to get it back and be in control again.

I want my premarriage/ pregnancy/ high blood pressure/cholesterol/ asthma/sleep apnea status!! Now is the time to do it.....

Ive had all first consult....visits with all the doctors and have recieved all the consults needed except for the psych. I am now waiting for all the written reports to come in and the second consult is next week and surgery set for...February 8th.

Im ready to get my life back in control....so this is the first step in getting a healthier me. Im so glad to see so many others here to share their experiences before and after. I hope I can contribute possitively and help others through my experiences. I also hope that I will be able to get help with questions and concerns that I know I will have before, during and after!!!

To all.....good luck, thank you in advance and and looking forward to sharing!! :smile2:

Jodi

[SoccerMomma73 1,867]

Wow, you and are are twins in the relationship department! My weight issues date back to childhood but I too married a man who later decided he wanted to quit his job and sit at home (this, naturally, was announced AFTER I got pregnant, not before). We divorced (he actually ended up going off to prison, not a nice guy) then died from uncontrolled hypertension at the ripe old age of 39....So I too am living the life of single mom with no support....Can you say STRESS???

Anyway, good luck with your appointments, it's all worth it in the end for a healthy you!!

[NYSparklegirl 1]

you arent kidding that weve had a similar experience! How horrible for you. I can at least say that and really understand and feel for you!!

How old is your child now? mine is ten. I would love to chat with you sometime when you are online..maybe we can help each other out with putting all this together with single parenting!

Look for me when your on!!

Good Luck and great success!

[thebandedgirl 0]

Wow to both of you; how stressful and awful. Good for you both for doing something for you. I wish both of you much success :smile2:

[NYSparklegirl 1]

thank you!!! Ive started reading your blog..pretty impressive. Your doing really well too....Keep it up!

[thebandedgirl 0]

thank you!!! Ive started reading your blog..pretty impressive. Your doing really well too....Keep it up!

Thank you very much :smile2:

[cwm812 11]

Christie and Jodi,

All I can say is Bravo for all you've done already. All this weight loss stuff should be a piece of cake (poor choice of words??) after all you've been through.

My mom was widowed a a young age and had a serious weight problem. But regardless of her own issues, she raised 3 successful daughters. I never had any idea how difficult all of this was until I had a few kids of my own and had a husband to help.

Hang in there ladies and keep doing what needs to be done, for both you and your families!

Cindy

[SoccerMomma73 1,867]

Connor is 5 1/2 and is the light of my life. He was 5 days old (yes five days old) when, err, the police called and told me there was a warrant out for my husband and that they felt my son and I were not safe...That was the day we left and the last time we saw him so it's been just the 2 of us since the beginning (with grandparents to help, thank God). It was an interesting beginning but we are awesome, he's my side kick and I am apparently the most awesome mom in the whole wide world if he is to be believed. He has been hysterical with this surgery, held my hand when I walked down stairs, kissed my tummy to make me feel better...he's a good kid, AND was starting to get a little tiny bit chubby so this has been good for both of us.

And now...it's time to take care of me! All I can say is keep working towards your goal. I'm still new at this (first fill today WOOHOO!) and just can't wait to see what this year holds for me. I've had days that weren't easy and bandster hell is a pain in the butt but it's so worth it! Good luck with everything, I'm very proud of you for taking the time to start taking care of you!

[lap5280 6]

Some incredilbe stories. I ask my wife all the time how do single parents do it. It seems like as a team we are maxed out. Congratulations for making it work.

One thing that got my attention with these posts are the men that died so young. I am 44 with the high blood pressure, and haven't controlled it as I should have. It's been as high as 200/110 this year, but was 130/80 today. I get bannded on 1-22. I hope I am not too late. I go to bed nightly thinking of what could happen if I died. I can't get life insurance because of my health (diabetes, high blood pressure, sleep apnea, asthma....). I am encouraged by your stories with so many issues, and working through them. Thanks for sharing.

[NYSparklegirl 1]

Wow to both of you; how stressful and awful. Good for you both for doing something for you. I wish both of you much success :thumbup:

thank you!!! Ive started reading your blog..pretty impressive. Your doing really well too....Keep it up!

[NYSparklegirl 1]

Some incredilbe stories. I ask my wife all the time how do single parents do it. It seems like as a team we are maxed out. Congratulations for making it work.

One thing that got my attention with these posts are the men that died so young. I am 44 with the high blood pressure, and haven't controlled it as I should have. It's been as high as 200/110 this year, but was 130/80 today. I get bannded on 1-22. I hope I am not too late. I go to bed nightly thinking of what could happen if I died. I can't get life insurance because of my health (diabetes, high blood pressure, sleep apnea, asthma....). I am encouraged by your stories with so many issues, and working through them. Thanks for sharing.

Your welcome...however, if our stories dont help you change your mind about taking meds to control the high blood pressure....then it was for naught.

If it didnt...prompt you to.....

I can if youd like go into details about how my exes decision to not control his destroyed our marriage and relationship with his myself, our daughter, family, carreer and um g-d?

basically, when the doctors tell you its not going to be how its going to be when....its not good!!

I can tell you how his death at 38 has effected so many people that loved him but mostly his daughter who thought the world of him at age 7.

How do you explain to a 7 yr old that your father could not control his pressure with what ever the doctors said to do...diet, pills, surgery etc....not even for her??

How do you explain that we had to live in sect 8 housing...recieve money from charity and food from food banks because instead of insurance money..or savings all that was left for us was unpaid bills after bills etc etc

I can tell you in details all of the above....and you would not believe the effects of not controlling high blood pressure means....please. Please. please....youve gotten banded...this is going to help however, if you dont get that pressure down....it could mean a ticking time bomb.

If you were impressed and admire us for our courage and ordeals....please dont make your wife one of us that someone else will admire......

we are all here to help, support each other on this road....lets make it the healthiest possible...and by the way...my heart is aching to say so much more...to convince..but my job here is just to support so I will refrain with saying more......

good luck!!!!!

Jodi

[NYSparklegirl 1]

Connor is 5 1/2 and is the light of my life. He was 5 days old (yes five days old) when, err, the police called and told me there was a warrant out for my husband and that they felt my son and I were not safe...That was the day we left and the last time we saw him so it's been just the 2 of us since the beginning (with grandparents to help, thank God). It was an interesting beginning but we are awesome, he's my side kick and I am apparently the most awesome mom in the whole wide world if he is to be believed. He has been hysterical with this surgery, held my hand when I walked down stairs, kissed my tummy to make me feel better...he's a good kid, AND was starting to get a little tiny bit chubby so this has been good for both of us.

And now...it's time to take care of me! All I can say is keep working towards your goal. I'm still new at this (first fill today WOOHOO!) and just can't wait to see what this year holds for me. I've had days that weren't easy and bandster hell is a pain in the butt but it's so worth it! Good luck with everything, I'm very proud of you for taking the time to start taking care of you!

Christie,

wow!! I am so sorry youve had to deal with so much and with an infant...I had a hard time with a 5 yr old.

I dont know what to say.... but you are truly a mother that has apparently protected and cared for her child and continues to do so!!!

As we have made the decission to do this banding so we can be healthy and alive to continue to take care of our children is the only thing we can do...as I see it...its not a choice its a must dont ya think??

Its that extra burden on us as single parents knowing there is no one else but "me". Sad but true...makes the pressure so much more heavy!

You mentioned that your son was so upset about you getting this surgery..Interesting that my daughter also is so upset and worried that something will happen to me when I do this as well.

She knows that this is something I must do and wants me to be healthy...she made me quit smoking after my ex died....made me promise never to have another cigarette and I havent..since that day..three years ago.

The things...we do for our children that we wouldnt do for ourselves!! lol I am proud of you too!!! We are going to do this!!!

I did begin to have my daughter see the nutritionist that I began seeing..so she can be a part of this process with me as well....as to begin to change our whole eating habbits in and out of the house. This seems to have helped alleviate some anxiety on her part....maybe this can help you with your son as well??

Jodi

[lap5280 6]

I guess I've thought that I'm too young. This could never happen to me. One thing that you mentioned hit home. My grand-father had health issue he didn't take care of when I was 7-8, and passed away. My father also pushed him to take care of himself, even for me. I loved him so much, but he didn't change even for me. I mourned his death for 25 years. Your message hits home.

[NYSparklegirl 1]

Im really sorry for this experience that youve had. Im also sorry that you feel bad that your grandfather couldnt do this for you either.....(but it wasnt about you)

I also ask the same thing about my ex.

I ask all the time why he couldnt do this for her?? for me??

It took alot of therapy and time to come to terms with the realization that he just couldnt do it for himself which meant he couldnt do it for anyone else either.

I needed to accept that there was nothing that I can do or my daughter can do or the doctors to make him take his medication,follow directions and care enough about his family but it wasnt our fault. This was his problem....and it was a problem..

it was selfish of him but it was his way to say...hey im not happy with myself enough to care about myself and take of myself so much so enough so I can take care of my family...

I always have this fear that my daughter will one day turn around and ask....the same thing that you have thought abd ask me...."why couldnt he do this for me"? and I wont have and I dont have the answer...except to assure her that she did nothing to make this happen and...nothing that could have made him do what he needed to...he needed to do it for himself....and he jsut couldnt.

I say the same to you...hold that close to you...and dont make the same mistake...you banded thats an amazing step.....youve gone this far... dont fall short...go all the way and live for ever....