do unfills=party!!!

[IwannaBeHappy 0]

So i needed to get an unfill. I was having some chest pain and the doctor thinks i may have torn or irritated something when i had 1!!! minor PB gosh! anyhoot i wasnt tight at all. So she taes 1 cc out. and OMG! first i tested a bit. Hmm what can i eat. I promised id stay strong and eat healthy. Initialy it was hard very hard but then I just started to pig out. here I am thinkin well Illl get a fill abck and then its over... or well i couldnt eat brea for 6 months whats a little Peanut Butter and jelly sandwhich. Ive been on a 3 week party boat.. and i promise you as much fun as this sounds to each and everyone of you. I wont lie i thought it would be. But I learned that I am addicted. Now that I can eat.. Ill eat. Willpower is not being very helpful. It brought me back to why I got the surgry in the first place. For a moment there i started to fill my time and energy into productive things. And then food came to visit. Gd bless our bands.. yeh it get bad and ugly sometimes..

but sitting here..just arriving from yet another party.. Im lookign fwd untill i lay low and leave the "party " scene. its time to get motivated and get back on track!

Good luck everyone..

and I hoooppppeeee I get a fill and this chest pain goes away..

[willowcat 93]

When I went to Overeaters Annonymous, we would start out saying, "Hi, I'm _____ and I'm an overeater." At first it was really hard to say that, because I didn't want it to be true. I just needed to lose weight that was all. Nope. I AM an overeater--was and still am. When I use food to fill the gaps in my life, to calm the anxiety, to Celebrate, to comfort saddness, to reward hard work, or to zone out, I am using food (much like an alcoholic or an addict). I totally get where you're coming from since your unfill. You weren't asking for advice--just sharing your story. Thanks for sharing. PS. I like your signature: "If you always do what you've always done, You'll always get what you've always gotten"

[IwannaBeHappy 0]

you know ive heard many people refer to it as an addiction. Ive gone to aa myself. Truth sometimes I tell myself "its not that serious. I mean seriously its food just stop eating what is this shit addiction thing." Ohh but it is. I thought I was cured of compulsive eating when I had surgry. I was beginig to do things for myself. and then 2 months ago I found myself eating slider foods when I just felt like being compulsive and needed to eat and dont want to be so damn focsed! WhenI wanted to speed up my eating just a smidge. and we know we can do that with slider foods!! But now Im 1 cc less and i havnt stopped eating!! I looked at old pictures for motivation..Ive allowed myself some falling off the wagon room but not to this degree. I am not cured. and probably would never be. Your right ive made food apart of my life feelings, and activities for so long it wont just go away when i get a month to test it out. I think when my weight and control with the band catches up with my head i may just mak peace with it. For now i looked at it as if i escaped jail. and i didnt think of it as jail before the unfill. yes it was hard yes i was frustrated but as soon as i had gotten this freedom. I just went for it!!

my questions are:

how am i able to eat more then ever possible when I was at this level a few months ago I felt more restricted. for exaple I can eat bread now. and at this level the firts time no chance!! should i be concerned?

if im at a level where i can eat, does this stretch my pouch or anything like that?

im getting an esophogram in a week to make sure im alright regarding the chest pain so we can fill me again but still confused as to how i can eat more at this level when i couldnt before.

Thanks in advance!!

Edited January 9, 2010 by IwannaBeHappy

[steelergirl 0]

addiction talk....."You had a relapse." When we relapse with food, we get the same feelings of failure, incompetent, guilt and depression as a drug or alcohol addict would after trying so hard to JUST STOP! The wonderful and blessed thing is that we do have these tools that can help in getting back into our recovery from food that has taken control over us...once again.

Good Luck

[ElfiePoo 109]

addiction talk....."You had a relapse." When we relapse with food, we get the same feelings of failure, incompetent, guilt and depression as a drug or alcohol addict would after trying so hard to JUST STOP! The wonderful and blessed thing is that we do have these tools that can help in getting back into our recovery from food that has taken control over us...once again.

Good Luck

Great post and advice!

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