Keeping surgery a secret

[Chele6378 0]

So I'm trying to keep my surgery a secret but I'm so excited I just want to tell everyone!! I'm afraid if I tell people, I'll regret it later. But I'm so excited!!! I want to call all of my overweight friends and co-workers and family and tell them I'm taking this huge step to save my life! Most of my family and close friends know but my co-workers don't.

Anyone regret keeping their surgery a secret? Anyone regret telling everyone?

[arthukd 1]

Well my surgery is in 13 days and I have told everyone, except one of the partners at my firm. He doesn't know what is acceptable behavior w/ that type of info (e.g. a co-worker had gastric bypass and he would announce to all our clients how much weight she had lost and another co-work had a procedure for endometreosous sp? and he told a client she had just had female surgery). But other than him, I don't care who knows. If I see someone who has lost close to a 100 pounds, I always assume it is from some sort of weight loss surgery so I don't see the point in keeping it a secret. Plus it is not like it is a mirical pill that makes the weight disappear. It is a tool that you still requires effort on your part. I am a very open person and don't have a lot of secrets in my life so I figured no sense in changing now.

But, each person is entitled to their own opinion and there is nothing wrong w/ what that decision is so Good Luck with everything, and how ever you decide to handle co-works I am sure will be the right decision!!

[JeweI 2]

I have told 2 people. My MIL and my DAD. My MIL blabbed it all over that I am having weightloss surgery. I didn't want to tell her but I live with her so I couldn't really hide it. My Dad was really supportive and proud of me. I do feel it is a personal issue and no ones business. If you have people you feel will support you it would be nice to have them to confide in. I talk to my hubby about it quite a bit.

[Guest nonmember]

I understand. I am sure I am going through with this. First thing out of everybody's mouth is isn't that dangerous? A lot of things are dangerous lol where you are not in the hands of a physician.

What is more dangerous staying at 48 BMI with A1c creeping up or making this big decision? I am not discussing this with anyone else.

People automatically assume RNY when you say you are having WLS. The decision was hard enough without defending it to other people. Also, I do not want the food police on my back after surgery. I have one good person to support me and that is enough.

[sdh5463 0]

I have told a few people (I think 5 total know now) but only those that I know will support me and not break my confidence! I want to do this for me. The people that need to know, (the boss, the husband) know. The people that don't need to know, (co-workers, people at church) don't. They will know that I have lost weight and it was my 2010 new year resolution to get healthy, off medication and lose weight! And that is what I will begin my journey toward on January 12th 2010. (at aprox 3 pm)

AAAHHHH It is getting closer! Seriously... I cannot wait to get my journey started and be happier and healthier than I have been in years!

The decision to tell or not to tell is up to you! Personally for me it was to NOT tell.

[healthierdiva 0]

Hey...congrats on your journey. I am 7 days out of surgery and told my parents and best friend and that's it. I don't plan on telling anyone.

For me, this journey is mine and mine alone and I don't want others to judge, evaluate, or criticize my decisions. It doesn't matter the path that you take to reach your goals, as long as you get there. If a friend uses a fertility doctor to get pregnant, is her baby any less than a baby? It's the same thing with weight loss or any other major medical journey . The end result will be a positive and life changing one.

Being heavy, you hate that people look at everything that you eat, and I feel if I tell people about the surgery, they'll continue to judge everything (good or bad) that I put in my mouth. There's no filter when it comes to talkingi about people's weight and most people are insensitive about it.

Good luck with your personal decision.

Happy New Year

[riley4183 0]

I told only people who needed to know before, but that was a lot of folks. I certainly did not tell clients or anything. But when you drop 120 lbs in a year, people are going to notice! Since I dropped the first 50 or so, I have become a walking billboard for Lap-Band Surgery. I speak at groups and classes. I wrote a newsletter article about it at work (220+ circulation). I have been approached by MANY interested people for more info, and no one - I mean no one - has approached me and given me grief. I wainted until after tho, so people would not be able to say, "oh don't do that!' and give me all their bad advice. In my surgery prep class, we practiced witty (or downright bitchy) responses to people who tried to pull us down, so I was READY - but it hasn't happened.

I also have to say that I am very visible with my exercise and eating tiny portions. Folks who see me everyday KNOW that I have worked HARD for my weight loss, and it did not "happen" just because I had surgery. Absolutely no regrets!!

[Chele6378 0]

Thank you for all of the replies! I'm a very open person, I'll pretty much answer any question and I'm not one to keep secrets but this seems so personal. It's kind of weird....I can tell everyone how my daughter was conceived (IUI with an unknown donor) but this seems too personal.

Ahhhhh....less than 3 weeks away! 25 days and counting. I'm so excited!!!

[Rosie Sue 0]

I am keeping it a secret too for now. They're telling me i'm getting the lap-band® in the next 6 months for sure. It's such a personal thing! I am already nervous (end excited) and I feel like people would want to bring it up all the time and thinking about it constantly would make me even more nervous (and EXCITED!) I haven't even brought it up with my husband, but I guess I 'll have to eventually.

Right now though, I'm supposed to be working on fixing my bad eating habits and showing the doctor that I can control myself. That is getting me depressed! No control is what got me here in the first place! I'm afraid that at my next meeting he will see that I haven't lost much (or any) weight and cancel my surgery! How did you guys do with this part?

[riley4183 0]

Hi Rosie Sue.

Unfortunately, one of the best indicators of a patients' success after surgery is their ability to stick to the plan and lose weight before surgery. You just have to do it. It IS hard, but develop this mindset: this is the VERY LAST TIME that you will have to "diet" without the assistance of a band! You can do it this one last time.

It also helped me to think of my band not as a weight-loss tool, but as a weight-maintenance tool: I had to lose weight (40 lbs!) to get the band; then when I lose a little more (10-12 lbs) they tighten it to lock that weight loss in; I lose a little more and they tighten it again . . . this is, very literally, how it has worked out for me. It's a great concept if you think about it. It also gives you something to tell folks about your surgery: you are not having the gastric bypass that makes you lose weight; you are having a lap-band to keep you from gaining weight back after you lose it.

The other best indicator of a patient's success after surgery is involvement in (a) support group(s). I am a support group junkie - I belong to 4 of them! I find that I really need the high level of accountability to stay on my game - when I get discouraged and stop showing up, my support folks come and drag my arse out of my house and get me right back in the saddle! This is the most fulfilling journey you will ever take, but it is too difficult to go it alone. Find a couple of good support groups somewhere - I drive 1.5 hours to one of mine, it's worth it - and throw yourself in.

You can do this!!!

:biggrin: Riley

[riley4183 0]

Thank you for all of the replies! I'm a very open person, I'll pretty much answer any question and I'm not one to keep secrets but this seems so personal. It's kind of weird....I can tell everyone how my daughter was conceived (IUI with an unknown donor) but this seems too personal.

Ahhhhh....less than 3 weeks away! 25 days and counting. I'm so excited!!!

I'm excited for you! You have a super attitude, and you're going to do GREAT!!

[New Joy 0]

I was banded a few days ago.

I have told few people but have a great support team.

My DH

2 good friends at work to keep me accountable and will know in case of a random emergency

2 other friends--one has the band and was my buddy--the other is starting the process

My parents, boss, inlaws do not know.

At this point I dont want to be on display or held accountable to someone eles idea of where I should be.

I figure as time goes by I may tell more people----but I can't "untell" someone so for now it's a secret ( a good! secret)

[Rosie Sue 0]

:thumbup:Congrats new joy! Please let us know how it goes, how you're feeling! I'm so thankful for this support site!

[JuniperNC 0]

I know just what you mean, Chele! I have only told a few people (DH, a few relatives and my boss). I don't usually tell everyone my personal business, and feel like that rule applies here, too. Plus, I don't need everyone analyzing what I eat, how much I exercise, and contstantly asking how much weight I have lost. That's a ton of pressure that I personally don't want to deal with :smile2:

[kitty18 0]

I found the people I did tell only wanted to talk to me about it. I think they felt they were supportive and they were but I felt I had to give them an update and how I was feeling about it every time I saw them. It becomes painful and in the end I just wanted to have a normal life and not focus so much on weight loss. I only told some people, which you do have to for the support. It is sometimes difficult hiding it.