My wife is scheduled for surgery...concerned

[zobee 0]

Wow.

I am so impressed that you would immerse yourself into her new world, the better to communicate and meet her needs. You must have an incredibly strong marriage, and I have no doubts that you guys are going to make it through this just fine.

You've gotten a lot of excellent advice. One thing that I would add is to stay attuned to her "Love Language." Great book, BTW, if you've never read it. The Five Love Languages are: words of affirmation, quality time, giving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.

I am absolutely about acts of service, so while yes, the new jammies were a nice thought, and the back rub was appreciated; while I never tire of him telling me how much he appreciates or supports me, and as much as I appreciated that he took a week off to be with me through the ordeal -- what really meant everything to me were his acts of service. Changing my bandages. Making a cup of Soup or a mug of tea. Measuring out my pain meds. That was huge. I know that it sounds so little, but it's what is important to me. It is what says "I love you, and I'm here for you."

Think about what your wife needs. What is most important to her, of the five love languages? Supply those things and you can't go wrong!

And I concur -- if you have a brother or a cousin, please let us know. I have a warm, wonderful, single sister that would love to meet him, LOL!