Unexpected feelings after LapBand..anyone else?

[ElfiePoo 109]

Frog,

I also hope you'll stick around, but hope you will also seriously consider some counseling for your issues regarding fat people...because *you* are a fat people and that same disgust is aimed towards yourself whether or not you consciously recognize that.

.

[mom.on.the.go 0]

i did not see the OP but i get the gist of it. do i hate fat people? no. do i think they are disgusting and dirty? some probably are as are some skinny people. but do i look a fat person (like me) struggling to get around the warehouse club in an electric scooter and say to myself "thank god i am stopping *that* from happening to me" -- absolutely! do i harbor some ill feelings towards them? yep. do i want to go over and figuratively shake them as they load the box of 20 mac and cheese into their cart? absolutely! have i thought about coming home and blogging or posting about it? yep.

i know it is being judgemental. but i also know that it does not come from a place of hate but some disgust with myself. i also know that at a mere 10 years older than frog, i use emotionally charged words differently now. but the emotion is still the same inside of me. i guess i may be a little more honest with myself and other about it. and i don't think my thoughts require counseling for some deep rooted issues that do not exist.

congrats to frog for taking control of your weight and life.

i say congrats to frog for expressing his/her own truth and saying out loud what other are thinking. i can get past the word hate because it is just a word. and i have the ability to understand and relate to the deeper meaning.

come sit here with me, frog. you will be ok.

[btrieger 21]

HB,

I am usually the one that is playing devil's advocate and cutting against the grain but of the 10 or so of us that saw the original post, you are the only one that saw anything constructive in it.

I wouldn't feel the same way if the OP at least included herself while pointing out the problem with fat people. After losing 19 lbs she was up on a pedestal declaring herself better than fat people.

[Humming Bird 275]

I did not see anything constructive in the original post.

I directed the OP to a much more constructive thread.

Even for those who did not see the original, look at the title.

The poster has unexpected feelings toward fat people in their life. They were asking if anyone else has feelings like this. She used the wrong words in the post. I could see from the get go that she would get slammed for the words she chose.

Edited December 28, 2009 by Humming Bird

[btrieger 21]

Hopefully she read the rest of the comments in this thread and the IHFT thread.

She should have known she was opening a can of worms.

[LarraineM 6]

We open a big can of Whopp A-- on dementedfrog

[adagray 1]

"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion." -The Dalai Lama

[dbeers 0]

I did read the OP and like I posted the first time, I'm much older then her and hopefully more mature. I have a 26yr old daughter and sometimes she says things that makes me think, who's kid are you. Hopefully all the comments posted will help her look at things different. She has just started the process and has no clue what the future will bring for her.

She only lost a few pounds, which is great but it is a long road. Many ups and downs and a lot of hard work. I do wish her the best and hope she reads all the posts.

[kells0802 0]

these are normal feelings for some people .... don't hate.

Who is hating here?? and you are right these ARE NORMAL feelings for a small amount of closed minded people who have never had a weight problem or never struggled with one, but for all of us that HAVE We know what these people are going through so how could you NOT feel compassion or sympathy?? Sorry but not buying the fact that these are NORMAL feelings from someone who has and still is struggling with their weight. The OP was judging and hating on people that are just like her and placing herself above these people just because she took the steps to make a change and they for whatever reason have not.--

[DizzyLizzy 21]

I think it all boils down to self esteem and personal experience. Yes, there are some fat people who smell, have trouble wiping their butt, literally eat like pigs, and look like slobs. I, even at my highest of nearly 400lbs, never had any of those problems, because I loved myself and cared about how I presented myself to the world. So, I always put my best foot forward, kept myself clean, made sure all my jiggly parts were covered, used eating utensils to eat. I didn’t go overboard like some do, trying to stuff my fluffly body into outfits meant for little folks just so I can be in fashion or anything like that, but I did the best that I could to look, smell, and behave decent. Some people just don’t care about their appearance. Some people are completely unaware. There are skinny people who do that too, think they are all that and a bag of Cheetos in their bikini just because they can fit a size 2 even though they are jiggly all over. There is a fine line between confidence, unaware, and insanity!

And as far as anyone thinking that all fat people are lazy, that is just another common stereotype. I have been fat since I can remember, I was fat in pre-school! And I can’t blame my parents because my brothers and I sat at the same table and ate the same food and they never had a weight problem. The majority of the women in my family have weight problems and I happened to catch that gene. I was active in school, I was in marching band, had a job where I was on my feet all day at 15, so I wasn’t sitting around on my butt. I was happy at size 20 through high school, could run with the best of them without losing my breath. As an adult, I didn’t overeat so much, just didn’t eat the most healthy things. After each child I packed on an extra 50 – 75lbs. When I got to 390lbs, I started working out 4 times a week and watching what I eat. I didn’t want to diet because I didn’t want to do something I couldn’t keep up with and become a yo yo dieter or have an eating disorder. So, I changed my eating habits little by little. The weight came off slow, took me 2 ½ years to lose 80lbs. Then I was stuck…for 6 months I lost and gained the same damn 5lbs. Then I became frustrated and little by little stopped trying so hard and started gaining again. That is why I chose to get the surgery, because I needed help. I had the will to do it, and tried my best, but I couldn’t do it on my own.

So, we are not all lazy. I like to work out. I like the “high” I get from it. I want to be able to run. I am so looking forward to being able to get back to my workouts.

Each of us is different, we all have our problems and struggles and no one is better than anyone else. And I do feel sorry for those who can’t wrap their heads around others’ struggles, but that is one of their struggles!