Unexpected feelings after LapBand..anyone else?

[Humming Bird 275]

Frog, I hope you stick with LBT. I know this thread went bad for you, as some of mine have for me.

I stick with LBT because it can still be full of info and support .....................

[btrieger 21]

OK so what the heck did dementedfrog say? the post is gone? I get the jist of it but would have loved to have seen the actual post!

She said that fat people are dirty, disgusting, don't shower, don't wipe our asses right and don't wash our hands after going to the bathroom.

Did I miss anything guys?

[Marine mom 3]

She said that fat people are dirty, disgusting, don't shower, don't wipe our asses right and don't wash our hands after going to the bathroom.

Did I miss anything guys?

lol, i think that about covers it!

[Humming Bird 275]

yea, you missed quite a lot. And you turned it more negative than needed

[Humming Bird 275]

read the I hate fat people thread

[Marine mom 3]

you seem all about validating the op. what about the people the op offended. they have as much right to their feelings.

[Humming Bird 275]

whatever ................... you missed the point of the original post. This post was started by a 26 year old who is having some very real feelings. My own son is 27 years old. There are ways people could have responded that would have been helpful instead of so hateful. I do not share the feelings of the original post, but directed the poster to a much more insightful thread to help them understand some of the feelings.

[btrieger 21]

read the I hate fat people thread

"I hate fat people" started with the OP trying to come to terms with his on self hatred.

The OP of this thread was on a pedestal ridiculing fatties.

They are not the same. Although, there are some idiots that posted to IHFP with hateful crap.

[Humming Bird 275]

"I hate fat people" started with the OP trying to come to terms with his on self hatred.

The OP of this thread was on a pedestal ridiculing fatties.

They are not the same. Although, there are some idiots that posted to IHFP with hateful crap.

exactly why I directed this poster to the other thread .................. I had hopes that after reading the "I hate fat people" thread, dementedfrog would learn ................. in a positive way

[delfinajones 1]

I think dementedfrog should be allowed to vent here and we should be able to listen and talk him through some of this. It's good to be positive but there is also a dark side to this fat business.

[Marine mom 3]

but when you vent,you are not in a vaccume. What she said was offensive, and indicative of issues. While demented had the right to post, others have the right to respond.

that too is part of the dark side of this issue, kwim?

[scottyd 0]

I think it is a feelings and emotions and the transformation a person is going through. I started this whole journey at 397lbs and now I am down to 219lbs now I am not saying I am any better than anyone else but I have had my own set of problems with the band. Just the other day I had to have all the Fluid removed just to take in Water. I went for to long with swelling in the band area. I could have said things that were not to the liking of many. I got down right pissed at my band and would of had it ripped out 2 days of vomiting stuck in a blizzard. With no access to the dr than can help. 2 visits to the ER one in the town I live and one where I had the band put in. Yes I hate myself who is FAT and still is. Good luck to all and enjoy your journey I have had one heck of a ride this past year. I will continue to enjoy the band. I for one wish to help others like me and I have had 7 friends have the band because I did it. I don't hate fat people or the original poster. I Feel Your Pain. I for one am here to help. It is no fun alone.

Edited December 28, 2009 by scottyd

[Humming Bird 275]

It's a shame that the OP edited out a couple of the original posts because the parts that were repeated were picking out only the worst of them and missing the point totally.

Go ahead, respond, defend yourselves, add fuel to that fire. Then what have you accomplished? 2 wrongs never make a right. Do you resemble the original remarks and make yourself feel better by slamming the OP? I know I do. I can tell you that 60 lbs ago I myself was having trouble wiping my ass properly. I'm not sure if it's all the vitamins/suppliments or what, but right now I am having my own issues with BO. Sometimes I do feel like a fat slob. That being said, blasting the OP about how they are feeling is not going to help.

It takes a special kind of person to admit when they were wrong, used the wrong words to explain, or responded in the wrong way. Lets see if anyone is "big" enough to do that.

[zobee 0]

I don't know, Humming Bird. I do respect your compassion for the OP, truly I do. However the community owners have set down very definite rules that each and every one of us have agreed to abide. It sounds pretty plain to me that Demented Frog did not live up to that agreement -- and though I've seen some angry replies, I certainly have not found any that could be considered rude or insulting. Certainly not any that attacked the OP.

For Demented Frog, if you do decide to stay, a few excerpts from "LapBandTalk Forum Rules" that might be handy to remember in the future.

"The basic ground rules for discussions on Lap Band Talk are simple: be polite, use common sense, don't break the law and don't post any message that even hints at advertising.

"By agreeing to these rules, you warrant that you will not post any messages that are hateful, threatening, or otherwise violate any laws.

"We take the "Be Polite" rule very seriously. We do not tolerate any rudeness. Any member who is intentionally unpleasant or disruptive may be banned without warning...

"Members will treat each other with courtesy and respect, especially when they disagree. We understand that bright, intelligent and educated people may not always agree, but personal attacks in the form of insults, abusive language or other means of obvious harassment will not be tolerated."

Peace.

[Marine mom 3]

you are fanning the flames as much as anyone. you essentially have said that the op has all the rights to "vent" and others shouldn't respond with their feelings. If the op had made racist statements would you feel the same? Or homophobic statements? Even if they were based on "fact" and anectdotal information?

the op didn't apologize. she said hateful things, and meant them. (per her admission here, and elsewhere) she also denied that any of this might be related to her feelings for herself.

This isn't group therapy with a qualified facilitator, but just a gathering of people with similar issues. Would she have gone into a ww meeting and made that lovely announcement? i think not.

zobee, you posted while I was posting. my post is directed to humming bird.

Edited December 28, 2009 by MissyMS