Life in the real world !!

[toribug1234 0]

I don't want to sound mean or cold hearted... but I see people on here saying they can't be around people eating food , well this is life it is going to be here and you need to just get used to it. Just tell yourself NO !! I know it is very hard but you can do it , you did it at first and now you can keep doing it. Just belive in yourself . I have a long way to go myself, but I would never stop cooking for my husband or have him to eat in another room. That would be like putting on blinders for the rest of your life. That's life and we just have to adjust to it. We may lose 10 lbs and then gain 1 or 2 lbs back but just look ahead and Never look back. I am so sorry if I sound cold hearted. I am very proud of every one on here .

[Humming Bird 275]

I agree with you. I cook for my husband and grandson all the time. Sometimes I can't even take one bite of what they have, so I make something else for myself. We go out to eat at least once a week. My husband orders a nice big meal and I get Soup or something. He does not have a weight problem and works very hard. He needs to eat and I enjoy our time together. I was the cook for Thanksgiving and ate very little, but the important part was my family sitting down eating a meal together.

[greytz 4]

I also cook for my husband but in the beginning he was very thoughtful of my efforts and helped me a lot by cooking some things himself (things he new I really like but couldn't eat). This particularly helped me in the liquid and mushy stage. Now, I am really used to it and it doesn't bother me at all. I go out with my skinny can eat all she wants and never gain weight friend and she gets a huge plate of food and I am perfectly content to just eat my small amount of whatever chicken. But, it wasn't always that way. In the beginning I just avoided situations that I knew would put me at risk. It was my choice and it is what helped me. I think everyone needs to do what is right for them. There are some people who find it difficult to just say no. If you can, then you are pretty far ahead of most. But, you shouldn't take other people to task unless you are walking at least a mile in their shoes. Everyone is different and their weight loss needs are different. Do what is right for you and don't throw stones at other people for what they do unless they ask you to.

[delfinajones 1]

Do what works for you. But if just saying NO worked for most of us we wouldn't need a band.

[alicia3138 1]

I think the best post I've seen on here was the girl who asked her co-workers not to bring food into the office because she has no self-control. hhahahah

[adagray 1]

Hmmmmm, not sure who you are talking about, but this shouldn't be a problem for anyone long-term on the band because we can eat. I think the only people who may have said they can't be around people eating are those who are on a pre-op or post-op diet that does not allow them to eat. And, I guess if that's the case, I don't see anything wrong with doing whatever you need temporarily to get through these difficult pre- and post-op diets.

I was lucky to not have much of any pre- or post-op diet EXCEPT I was not allowed to eat from noon the day before my surgery to four days after my surgery. And, personally, I did not hang around my family while they were eating or cook for them during this time. Why would I torture myself like that? And, my husband is an able-bodied man who is off of work and can take care of food for himself and the kids for a few days and I'm not the least bit ashamed to ask him to help me in this way. Lord knows, I have cooked many many many gourmet meals for all of them and will again in the future.

I think one of the biggest mistakes anyone could make is to NOT ask for the help you need or to have the self-esteem to believe you are worth it. My mother had the same mentality you have for most of her life. If her kids wanted some crap in the house, well, then she certainly would never deny us over HER problem. And, although I think this makes her a great martyr, I don't think it was necessarily the best thing she could've done for her family. It made it incredibly difficult for her to stay on any diet and ultimately she developed type 2 diabetes (needing insulin), dangerously high bp & cholesterol, and well as very limited physical function. And, her own daughter (me) is morbidly obese as well w/similar conditions. I'm thinking it would've been better for the whole family if she put her foot down and made us all eat healthy.

But, I don't fault my mother. She was doing what she really believed to be the right thing to do... to treat her obesity as HER problem. I just don't see it that way. The problem of obesity for one member of the family, I believe should be treated as a problem for the whole family. If you love your family (and we all do), we are in this as a team and I need to ask my family for support and they need to support me. Of course, this needs to be negotiated in a way that works for everyone, but that doesn't mean that I just push down all my needs and feeling and not ask for help. That is not what is ultimately going to help me succeed, and if I fail, the whole family fails.

OK, I'll get off my soapbox now. I just wanted to give the other point of view because it really saddens my heart that my mo m felt the way you are recommending almost her whole life and it really just ended up hurting her in so many ways. I am happy to say that 2 years ago she got the lapband herself, though, and has started standing up for what she wants and needs to succeed at it.

[Stacy1980 0]

I don't want to sound mean or cold hearted... but I see people on here saying they can't be around people eating food , well this is life it is going to be here and you need to just get used to it. Just tell yourself NO !! I know it is very hard but you can do it , you did it at first and now you can keep doing it. Just belive in yourself . I have a long way to go myself, but I would never stop cooking for my husband or have him to eat in another room. That would be like putting on blinders for the rest of your life. That's life and we just have to adjust to it. We may lose 10 lbs and then gain 1 or 2 lbs back but just look ahead and Never look back. I am so sorry if I sound cold hearted. I am very proud of every one on here .

You are not sounding mean or cold hearted. I agree you a 100%! Having people eating around you and YOU choosing the healthy foods and the portions is just one of the importat behaivor modifications. I am speaking about myself now: I had no self control and that is why i ended up at 272 lbs. I am always around food however since I got the band in october, it is getting easier and easier to say "no" to the birthday cake or the Cookies. I feel that I am gaining self control which is not only helping with my weight loss but everything else around me! If you don't have the food around you, you will never learn how to be strong and control your portions and choices.

[cruzlady 0]

We had a Christmas dinner at a local restaurant .. I ordered a Caprese Side salad

Fresh Mozzarella slices layered with baby spinach, ripe tomatoes, and fresh basil with Kalamata olives, drizzled with extra virgin olive oil and balsamic vinegar.

A couple of people asked if that was all I was ordering , I told them it was all I wanted .. When in fact I really was wanting some of the pizza and garlic bread that they had ordered . Wanting and indulging are 2 different things.. So now , I do what is best for me and after a while it will be such a part of my life that I won't even think about it ..

[delfinajones 1]

Very nicely put-thank you.

[delfinajones 1]

Hmmmmm, not sure who you are talking about, but this shouldn't be a problem for anyone long-term on the band because we can eat. I think the only people who may have said they can't be around people eating are those who are on a pre-op or post-op diet that does not allow them to eat. And, I guess if that's the case, I don't see anything wrong with doing whatever you need temporarily to get through these difficult pre- and post-op diets.

I was lucky to not have much of any pre- or post-op diet EXCEPT I was not allowed to eat from noon the day before my surgery to four days after my surgery. And, personally, I did not hang around my family while they were eating or cook for them during this time. Why would I torture myself like that? And, my husband is an able-bodied man who is off of work and can take care of food for himself and the kids for a few days and I'm not the least bit ashamed to ask him to help me in this way. Lord knows, I have cooked many many many gourmet meals for all of them and will again in the future.

I think one of the biggest mistakes anyone could make is to NOT ask for the help you need or to have the self-esteem to believe you are worth it. My mother had the same mentality you have for most of her life. If her kids wanted some crap in the house, well, then she certainly would never deny us over HER problem. And, although I think this makes her a great martyr, I don't think it was necessarily the best thing she could've done for her family. It made it incredibly difficult for her to stay on any diet and ultimately she developed type 2 diabetes (needing insulin), dangerously high bp & cholesterol, and well as very limited physical function. And, her own daughter (me) is morbidly obese as well w/similar conditions. I'm thinking it would've been better for the whole family if she put her foot down and made us all eat healthy.

But, I don't fault my mother. She was doing what she really believed to be the right thing to do... to treat her obesity as HER problem. I just don't see it that way. The problem of obesity for one member of the family, I believe should be treated as a problem for the whole family. If you love your family (and we all do), we are in this as a team and I need to ask my family for support and they need to support me. Of course, this needs to be negotiated in a way that works for everyone, but that doesn't mean that I just push down all my needs and feeling and not ask for help. That is not what is ultimately going to help me succeed, and if I fail, the whole family fails.

OK, I'll get off my soapbox now. I just wanted to give the other point of view because it really saddens my heart that my mo m felt the way you are recommending almost her whole life and it really just ended up hurting her in so many ways. I am happy to say that 2 years ago she got the LAP-BAND® herself, though, and has started standing up for what she wants and needs to succeed at it.

Very nicely put.

[jennibee 3]

I suppose I am lucky because I don't usually have a problem making good food choices or being around other people who are indulging themselves. It's those other people who seem to have the problem. I get "is that all you are going to eat?" or "Oh come on it's only one cheese stick...live a little why don't you?" from my family/friends. I'm like "Hello people, I didn't go through all of this and make this choice for myself to have your help in sabotaging it!" Mostly I just say kindly "No thank you, I ate before I left home" just to have something to say.