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My gf had the gby in 2007. I soon noticed that something more than her digestion had changed. She in a way became more "absent". Hard to explain but her personality changed: Not keen on life around her as before. Not as strong in her mind and will as before... In months things got worse. She started to loose focus; could stop in the middle of a conversation not remembering what we were talking about. Started to loose her way on familiar roads. Started to slip things out of her hand, while carrying it. After a year or so I noticed that her mathematic sense hat gone bad. Also her handwriting - which had earlier been one of the best - changed to "doctors writing", say hard to read at all. In 2010 she started to faint, or... In the middle of a conversation she could flip to absense. Like she wasn't there at all, and it could last for only seconds but also for minutes or even for hours. Sometimes she fell to the ground, other times she just sat down and stayed absent until the attac had gone. At this point I started to keep book on the "events". When did she drop Things? When did she have vision disturbances? When did she loose track on time? Also she developed sensory distrubances. She lost capability og figuring out weather something was warm or cold, humid or dry. Today my gf can't spell. She very often has a hard time remembering simple words and she can hardly finish a conversation about the weather. Often her vision is bad, like she turns blind on her left eye. Daily she has the shakes like an old drug adict. Minor events like loud noises makes her really scared and on top of it all: her hair and skin has turned 30 years older in those 7 years past surgery. - As you (hence my spelling) might have guessed, I'm from abroad. In europe NO ONE hardly ever discuss the late complications after gastric surgery. Possibly because of the big money involved (?) but I really would like to ask if anyone else has noticed neurologic changes after the surgery? It is a well known fact that gby can cause neutritional defiancies, and it's an other well known fact that just 20 days of Vitamin B defiancy can cause irreversible neurological defects. Still, it seems like it's the mistery of all times that gby could cause any symptomes like those of my girlfriends. . Most important might be to stress, that my gf has almost no feelenig of all those issues I mention above... Sure she agrees that her skin and hair has changed, and eventually she get frustrated that she can't find the Words in a conversation or her own way home after a short walk, but all in all she just doesn't remember, that she was ever any different! But how about you? Have any of you any experience of neurologic disabilities? Did someone near you change personality after surgery? . Please excuse for my bad spelling, but let me know, if any of you have any experience - and even better; if anyone knows how to stop Things from getting even worse. . . Kind regards Mogens

So I came up with an outrageous reading on my H.pylori so my surgery is delayed by 6 weeks (actually, it will be 3 weeks by next Thursday). I had to go through a round of antibiotics and then wait a month to retest. If I retest for a normal level then I will be scheduled out one month for surgery. Right now I am practicing getting my water in, chewing my food to pudding consistency, buying all my pre-op and post-op needs (coughing pillow, shower chair, etc.), getting caregivers together for me and my dog. Additionally, I am also getting rid of furniture to make way for exercise equipment and just plain old exercise. I am journaling, meditating, listening to audio CDs and tracking my food. I look forward to my sleeve surgery but I keep wonder if there is more that I can do. Anyone of you out there going through this too or have you gone through it in the past?

Today I am 6 days post-op. For the previous 5 days I haven't had any real desire to eat or drink anything. No real appeal in eating, and in some cases, thinking about foods made me feel a little queasy. Today - I feel hungry. I had a 5.3oz yogurt for breakfast (took about 90 minutes to eat, I think from about 7:30 to 9am). It is not just after 10:30 and my tummy and mouth say "eat!" Logically, I know that I have only consumed 120 calories today and I need to continue to eat and sip small amounts to heal but a part of me is thinking "This is how it starts all over again. You're hungry all the time. You won't stop eating. You'll gain every ounce back and THIS WAS FOR NOTHING." This paranoia is compounded by the fact that I had, what I believe, was my first case of extremely mild dumping syndrome. I had been having trouble finding any drinks appealing and thought a very watered down bit of pineapple juice would do the trick - I was right. I had about 1/2 cup pineapple juice to 2 cups water over the course of a few hours. FOr those who don't know, a serving of pineapple juice can exceed 30 grams of sugar. I expect I may have had about 10. I've now become obsessed with the idea that my pineapple juice has reawakened the sugar demon and all is lost. I know that sounds incredibly dramatic, but I've noticed over the last few days that these kinds of fears keep sprouting up. I can't shake this fear that this isn't a fresh start, just a pit stop on the same ol', same ol. Ugh. Anyone else dealing with similar feelings? How did you cope?

For me, using affirmations are a great way to change my self-talk and rewire my brain. Do you have a favorite affirmation that helps you with your weight loss journey? Could you share it? What else works for you?

The hardest thing of my journey has been the psychological stressors and the societal pressures that I was totally unaware of when I was heavy. Often times you feel that you're being misstreated however finally being on the side of a thin person versus a heavy person made me realize the stark difference. Little subtle things that you normally wouldn't think about, such as when you get ready to walk into a business and someone actually holds the door for you. However when I was heavier sometimes I would almost get hit in the face with the door because someone rudely just let it slam. And this is just not with the opposite sex, it also happens with women. This is even more profound when you think of the working environment. When I was heavier I found myself constantly being challenged for simple decisions or opinions I shared in meetings. Now everyone even women always say, oh my gosh that's a great idea. However, it could be the same Idea I shared prior to losing weight. Finally---touching. As a heavy person people barely shook my hand as if they would catch the fat cooties! Now everyone wants to hug you and let their hands linger. All of this subtle discrimination kills me!

Ugh, this feeling in my stomach, I hate it! Initially I thought it was like butterflies, now it reminds me of being "homesick". More so in the morning, but it can occur throughout the day. I would rather have my normal anxiety than this any day. Please tell me you've experienced this and its going to go away! I'm 8 days post-op.

I attended a WLS support group meeting with other bypass patients and a story was relayed to me by a man who had a long time gf which ended after the WLS because she couldn't handle the saggy skin. Not just this once but 4 other times since his surgery more than 2 years ago has he had women stop seeing him because of his appearance without clothing. One woman went so far as to tell him that when they met he looked great but it was like "false advertising" after getting to the intimacy phase (I know, I would have knocked the outta her too) So yes we all know this is beyond shallow but hearing this man tell it, I would imagine there may be others out there who have experienced negative experiences from intimate partners who felt the sight of all that loose skin was a turn off. I felt bad for him as he seemed broken up about it, but he still maintained his positive composure since so many other health issues were reversed like his diabetes and blood pressure. He did admit that he is no longer seeking any companionship because of the impact the skin has had on his social life. Plastic surgery was not an option, insurance did not see the medical necessity since there were no adverse side effects from the loose skin he had (no rashes, no infections etc). Seems to me his mental health is being seriously affected and plastic surgery should be a consideration but we all know how insurance companies love to scrimp and save money where they can. I now have a concern. As I continue my journey and weight continues to drop, will I have to endure this kind of treatment? I don't react well to shallow princesses and have a bad habit of finding ways to knock them off their high horses....comes from the days of being bullied as the fat kid in school so my acerbic wit and double edged sharp tongue have ways of finding anyone's Achilles heel. I have not considered doing any dating yet and after hearing this poor chap confess before the group about his body image issues and intimacy experiences, I am wondering if I will consider dating after reaching my goal weight. I think this abhorrent treatment is inexcusable and I am curious to know who else may have experienced something like this and how did you or how are you dealing with it?

I post this to see if anyone else has had a Psych Med for Depression, Anxiety, or Bi-polar that has to build up in the system to be impactful, like Depakote DR, Effexor ER ,etc. If so, I'd be interested in your story and how you are managing. Stuff Just Hit the Fan I had my RYGB last August, 2021, and I'm down a good deal of weight and was feeling great! Then the end of February rolled around and I started getting little headaches, not sleeping all night, and having the odd panic attack after a period of years of stability. Then all hell broke out. Headaches from dawn to dusk, insomnia every night, rage, restless legs, constant stress and panic. I thought we had prepared for this by switching my 2,000mg Depakote (Delayed Release) to 2,000mg Valproic Acid Oral Solution (Immediate Release) prior to surgery. Even one month after surgery my levels were fine (two months on the Immediate Release Liquid.) Somewhere in the past 7 months my doctor forgot to have my levels checked again, and since I was feeling good, I didn't remember either. I was able to get into my shrink mid-March and he added me to Geodon to try to stabilize me, 20mg x2/day. He isn't very knowledgeable about the Valproic Acid Oral Solution, and I had to ask him for a blood level test. Low and behold my levels came back at half what they were 7 months ago, and I'm quite certain this is why I'm having these problems. For the past two weeks I've been adding 1,000mg of crushed Depakote DR to applesauce daily and eating it. The only risk that I can find from my research is liver toxicity, but this is something that we can monitor for, and with how bad I was, and still am sometimes, feeling, I will roll those dice. How I understand the DR coating on the pills that I had to come off of for the surgery is to help the medicine make it past the stomach into the small intestine where it gets absorbed, but since we now have a much smaller stomach (and small intestines' too?) taking them whole won't work.

So I'm on the 11th day of my pre-op. It's going OK, have not strayed or anything, but I keep having intrusive thoughts (or maybe logical thoughts) that I should bail. Not because I have a better way or think I can lose it on my own, but because cutting out half my stomach inviting in possible unknown complications and more stress into my already complicated life seems pretty irrational. Fear of the unknown is in every corner. I could have issues in other areas of my life arise, and would have to deal with them as they come. But this seems like an unnecessary venture - at least that's what 1/2 my brain is telling me. The other half is excited and thrilled with the idea of feeling better in my own skin, continuing working on a healthier relationship with food, and getting to a new normal that is satisfying. Literally telling people about the surgery, my husband has off, I've got my protein, my physical being is proceeding forward as if this is going to happen, That's my plan, at least. But then a part of me just wonders why I don't just DO that without surgery. Work a healthy path of eating, etc. I may not lose as much weight, but I can continue on the path of healthier relationship without surgery and without inviting the unknown complications in. I realize this is probably part of the mental battle. And maybe it's harder because I'm pre-surgery. Post, I wouldn't have the option of deciding on surgery or not, just to move forward and work on the food/emotions/etc. I had surgery scheduled for May, but got sick and had to delay. Part of me wondered if that was actually serendipity/God/fate letting me know that it wasn't for me. There was relief, but also sadness. Regardless, I stuck with the program. I've learned healthy habits, and learned a lot about myself through the program, honestly. But my weight hasn't really changed because of it. Just my head. Did anyone else get cold feet? Sometimes I hate my brain!

Walking down the hall way to my desk, our IT guy is walking behind me and says, "If you lose anymore weight, one day your clothes are gonna just fall right off!" He is referencing my now too big size 16s I keep wearing anyway. I smile, "And say I know. I need to go shopping. I have 40 more pounds to go before I'm done." As he turns down his row, he smirks, "Twig!" I laugh, and am torn between thinking, "ME!? A Twig!? What!? What. What?" and simply, "Thank you, for such a great compliment!" I am struggling a lot with percetion. I am struggling to see my new self. When I lookin the mirror, am I smaller? Yes, am I still chubby, and all I see is that chub? Yes. My boyfriend makes me feel small. He wraps his arms around me so tight now, its a wonderful feeling and I love it. When he hugged me the other day, I whispered, "This makes me feel small." He whispered back, "Thats because you are small." My brother in law hugged me on Thanksgiving, and yelled out, "Look at that! My arms go all the way around little girl!" I was flying high from happiness and embarassment. I'm now comfortably in as size 14 down from 20/22s. After this size, I'm entering into terriory I've not known as an adult, and frankly I'm excited and scared. My goal is to wear a size 10/11. I love being smaller, don't get me wrong. But, I most of the time still don't think that I am. I still think and feel most of the time, that I'm still size 20 me. I'm still ashamed and embarassed or worried that I look awful. My jeans are baggy, my coat is too big. My shoe size is smaller for heaven's sake... why can't I see and accept that I am smaller!? I'm less 75 pounds of me. Thats the size of a child! Recently, a coworker of mine, who knew I was getting surgery showed me a photo he took of me the day before my surgery. I didn't even recognize her. I was like, "That is me?" That person doesn't even register as me anymore. I'm exactly 7 months post op in two days. I've lost 75 pounds from my highest weight recorded in Febuary of 2011. Any of you struggle with this? What helped? Here is my before from my coworker, one I took the morning of surgery, and a picture I took just 2 weeks ago. This is the first time I've done a side by side.....

Despite having lost 70 lbs, my mind still treats my new body with the same grievances. 'You're too fat to wear that outfit'. 'You could use another 5lbs' 'Are you really going to eat all those grapes? You don't need the extra calories!' 'You skipped a workout? You're worthless' I shrank from 210 lbs to 140lbs. A size 18 pant to a size 6 pant. I started running, attending yoga, making friends, feeling confident... but every morning when I would wake up and look in the mirror while getting dressed I would see it. The 5 more pounds, the stretch mark, the surgery scar... and then my mind would start to play games. Despite my weight loss success, my mind kept dragging me back to the mind of my 210lb self. The version of me that was self-conscious, that hid beneath clothes three sizes too big. The 'fat' version of myself. The mind games I play with myself are relentless, after all I am my greatest critic. No one could out criticize me because I live with myself 24/7. I am my biggest barrier and I am my greatest cheerleader. Weight loss is hard. It is as much a physical battle as it is a mental battle. Be kind to yourself. In being kind to yourself, you will be amazed at how plateaus transform into progress. You will be more dedicated to your weight loss journey. Hush the little voice in your head telling you can't and show yourself that you can. If you don't feel like going on a run, walk around your neighbourhood. If you want a piece of cake or a sugary treat, find a recipe that is healthier but you still feel naughty indulging. Life is supposed to be lived so that you can learn and grow. Stop the mind games, smash the mirror, and set achievable, realistic goals for your weight loss journey. I advise you to make positive mental growth a top priority; weight loss will follow.

Here goes... I'm getting sleeved Wednesday morning in Myrtle Beach, SC, and am psychologically struggling with replacing my "eating fun" with real fun. I've greatly struggled on my pre-op diet, mainly because I don't know how to say "no" to food or an easy fix for dinner over my protein shakes. My husband and I have always associated fun with food if it's watching a movie on tv and eating a whole bag of Oreo's or wanting to go out to eat for a new experience when we travel a bit. He knows how important it is to stick on my pre-op and even get the nutrients I need post-op, but we both don't know how to deal with me drinking a protein shake and whatnot. I told him that post-op, going out to eat will be super cheap since it's just going to be him eating for the most part, and I'll nibble here and there, but I don't want my need to have fun to revolve around food. My husband has gained a lot of weight since we started dating (3 years ago), and I would love to say that once I start losing weight and feeling better, I'll want to get out more and either go kayaking, hiking, etc. I guess through all of this, I'm just looking for some guidance, advice and help off the cliff. I need this surgery to change me not only physically but mentally also. With a surgery next week, it might be too late to change BEFORE, but I want to be able to deal with the change even better when I HAVE to.

When I had my gastric bypass in 2003 there were not the multi-faceted treatment teams that there are today to take patients through the journey. My bariatric surgeon said "I do the surgery. The rest is up to you." I did the physical work but I never did the mental work. I never even knew it was a consideration. In 2013 I had a series of plastic surgeries to my body and face. And that is when I really felt like a different person. In part, I felt like the person I was when I was thin. But that was so very long ago that I was a "kid" back then and so I could not 100% identify with that "version" of me. And I certainly could not identify with the obese me (before RNY) or the overweight me (after RNY). It was in 2013 and 2014 that I went through a very challenging time, a series of events, that led me to a spiritual journey to find myself. And while that journey is amazing, I feel there is more that I can be doing to grow. I wrote an article for BariatricPal magazine called True Love in which I discuss learning to unconditionally love myself and others. That is the essence of my growth. I have looked at many of the world religions and many philosophies and they all have one unifying message at the core: they teach us that our purpose here is to love. I also touch upon my spiritual journey in an interview that BariatricPal did with me. So the purpose of my post is to ask your help. I want to accelerate my growth and I could use some guidance. How is it that you did the mental work after weight loss surgery? How did you find yourself, what makes you happy, what is your life's purpose, what are your values? What tools have you used to grow spiritually and emotionally? What behaviors/habits did you have to stop? What new behaviors/habits did you have to start? Did you do anything to receive the "gift" of Spirit? Thanks so very much. This is important to me and I appreciate your support.