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Found 14 results

  1. I am wondering how or if my relationship with my husband may change after I have my surgery. In the beginning he was so against my having the surgery, mainly because he knew nothing about the current procedures and such for the surgery, he only knew of the old days when a lot of people died from complications and stuff. It took quite a while to get him to come around and thanks so much to his daughter who is going through nursing school she helped quite a bit in reassuring him that the advances in technology these days makes the surgery so much safer, and then when he finally saw how many medications I have to take daily, he finally got it. The part that has me a little worried is if and when I start to loose the weight, I worry he may start to feel differently towards me. My husband in a rare man, who actually likes woman who are large, fuller size woman. I'm worried that he may start to "fall out" of love with me. I know I just may be thinking silly thoughts but every now and again those thoughts do creep into my head. Most of my family and friends are very supportive and actually happy that I'm having the surgery and even though my husband as come around and now accepts that I am having this surgery no matter what. My medical condition has forced me to go forward with the surgery now rather than wait any longer and I know he fully supports me when it comes to my health. I also sometimes wonder if he is worried too, worried that if and when I loose the weight that maybe I won't be interested in him any longer. But that is completely silly to me, he is my husband and I waited 11 years for him to finally marry me (he had been married before and it ended in a very nasty divorce) so I understood he didn't want to rush into marriage too quickly, so I loved him and he loved me so it was worth the wait in my mind. But I wonder if somewhere in the back of his mind he fears I will loose the weight and leave him for some other man. I'm wondering if anyone out there who has already had their surgery is going through any of these kinds of things in their relationships. Does getting this surgery put a lot of pressure on relationships? And if it does, can it all still work out in the end?
  2. Lexigurl82

    Dealing with Rejection

    It's been a while since I've made a post. I filed a divorce after 7 years on 1/29/2016. The divorce was finalized last month. Before I filed for a divorce, a former friend told me my then husband at the time had a girlfriend. Not once did he fight for our marriage. Instead, he reached out to many women and found one who was willing to give him a chance. I eventually found out that his mistress knew all about me and they slept together 2 days after our wedding anniversary. That hurt me a lot. My then husband told so many lies on me and people actually believed him. I had to end up cutting every person we ever came in contact with out of my life because they claimed they were on my side, however they were on my husband's team. Inlaws, so called friends--the majority of them knew he had a mistress and failed to correct him about his actions because they valued his presence more than mine and my kid. Not that I like to talk about people but his mistress is extremely overweight and unattractive. My ex-husband is very controlling and narcissistic, so I am aware that he went after her because she has no self-esteem or confidence. She does everything he tells her to. He did the same with me. When I met my ex-husband, I was slightly overweight. Each year during our marriage, I got bigger and bigger. He seemed to be happy with it, always told me I was beautiful. But that was a lie. Now that we are divorced, family members and friends started coming forth and told me how they despised my ex-husband during our marriage because they knew he was a liar, a cheater, and controlling. They told me how it bothered them to see me gain weight and have several health issues, yet my then husband seemed content. Not only that, he didn't struggle with weight and was not very supportive in me losing weight. When I had my surgery in December 2015, he asked me twice if I would leave him once I lost weight. I told him I would leave him if he didn't change. 3 weeks after my surgery, I packed my and my daughter's clothing in trash bags and left. Everyday I hoped he would call, to see where I went, to see if I and my daughter were ok, to see if he wanted me back home but that didn't happen. When I checked our phone records, I saw he reached out to women he claimed he didn't even communicate with. Not once did I get a call or text asking for forgiveness or for me to come back home. And then, day after day I learned how he had a mistress and he slept with numerous prostitutes. And yes, this mistress knew all about me but just did not care, same as my then husband. My ex-husband did everything he could do to tear me down. Locked me out of our home. Slept with the mistress in our bed. Told lies to everyone would listen. In the end, I was able to move in our home and he had to move out. But the memories in the home was just to much to bear. I had to sleep in the guest room because I just could not sleep in our bedroom, where he had his mistress. How could people be so cruel? How could my husband do this to me and my kid? How could his mistress be ok with being with a married man and him mistreating me and a minor child? I guess I will never understand. Now that I am single, how do I move on? I am terrified to date. People compliment me and tell he how great I look since weight loss, but my ex-husband has destroyed all my self esteem. Therefore, I do not believe people when they tell me I look great. I can't even make eye contact with a man because I am afraid of them. It's hard for me to go out and enjoy myself because I am afraid that if I meet someone, that I won't be able to provide them with a relationship. I am just too torn. How do I move past the hurt? How do I move past the pain that my ex-husband inflicted on me and my daughter? All I can do is hope one day I can heal from all this.
  3. Hi everyone, Hope that the holidays are joyous. I need some help getting back on track. I had gastric sleeve in 2015 and lost over 100 pounds. I started excercising, was doing really well until this year. I ended up having some serious joint pain issues and started on prednisone. That med worked wonders for reducing the inflammation in my joints BUT it made me feel as hungry as a pregnant cow....and I craved sweets. I ate. This coupled with getting married and now going through a divorce...has has me stress eating. My lowest weight was 168 and now I am at 205. I started at 300. I refuse to gain anymore weight back. This has been the HARDEST time in my life to loose this extra weight. Anyone over 4 years out have any tips for when hunger returns? After year four from getting sleeved my hunger just all of a sudden returned. And then the medication didn't help. Also going through the marital stress was another factor. I've REcommitted myself to getting back on track. I even went to the weight loss doctor for help with food cravings. Y'all tell me what works for you and help me with your tips. Thanks
  4. Sheena_weightloss

    C5 Documentary on weight loss

    A Channel 5 documentary would like to hear your stories of life after weight loss. Are you enjoying your new found confidence and possibly the first time, able to socialise and are rediscover who you are? Have you lost weight and recently separated from your spouse or partner? Have you recently lost weight and are dealing with how this weight loss is affecting your relationship at the moment? Do you have unexpected problems following weight loss? Please email Sheena at weightloss@iwcmedia.co.uk or call 0141 353 8466 Alex has approved this post
  5. Four years ago, I began my journey and became a member of Lapband Talk. I am a Registered Nurse, and researched every article I could find on what type of surgery to have. When I went in for my initial family doctor's appointment, I was well prepared...I had already typed out my health history, weight history, and every diet plan I had ever tried. My doctor referred me to a bariatric doctor and I did the same with my surgeon's initial visit. Also included was a list of questions that I had about the surgery. I am sure they thought I was some geek. Here is what I have learned throughout the last 4 years and a bit of advice for those starting out. 1. Research pays off: talk to people that have had different types of bariatric surgeries. Look at the pros and cons. Can you handle the cons? 2. LBT provides great support. Use it and learn from others 3. If your insurance denies you, don't give up. I wrote a letter of appeal and got it. Just include research and your past medical history. 4. Restriction varies. You can be "tight" in the morning and then feel as though you have litle restriction in the evening. 5. Don't shoot for "too tight"...it is MISERABLE not being able to swallow your own spit. 6. If you are going to do this, then get pumped up and do it right...go all out! Follow the rules. Work out! 7. When you go out to eat, make sure you know where the closest bathroom is...just in case. 8. I often order more food than anyone else. My coworkers make fun of me. I know I still have an addiction to food...I only eat about 5 bites and I am done. Hey! I can make about 6 meals off of one dinner!! 9 Icecream might go down easy, but it can cause some people to have spasms. I can take a few bites and my band doesn't like it...a good thing. 10. Shoot for eating the hight protien foods first. At least get that in. 11. Some of those high Protein foods, like meats are dry and don't go down well. chicken is sometimes hard for me to eat. 12. I am always drawn to the "big girl" clothes. I am still a "fat chick" in my head. 13. Many bandsters talk about marriages ending after the band...mine did. He didn't like a "fat wife"and was embarrassed of me in public, so I left him when I lost the weight. Hope he is choking on those mean words! 14. The band is a TOOL! Use it as such. Don't continously drink high calorie drinks and wonder why you don't lose weight. 15. I have not had a carbonated beverage in 4 years. Never thought I could do it..but I don't miss it! 16. If you lose restriction all of a sudden, and it doesnt come back for days, then something is wrong...I had a leak in my port..had to get it replaced. 17. People will look at you and treat you differently when you are thinner. There are people that talk about "fat" people and when I tell them that I had weight loss surgery they can't believe it..I know they would never have given me the time of day, 4 years ago. 18. Don't eat bread or french fries..they don't go down well if you have the proper restriction. 19. Drink before your meal and then stop when your food is done. 20. Most places will let you eat off of the kids menu and buffets will let you have the discounted price (bring your card). If they don't, then speak to the manager. There is no sense in paying and adult price at a buffet when you are going to eat less than a 3 year old. 18. Enjoy your new life. Enjoy being healthy!
  6. Hello my BP fam..... I haven't been on in a minute but that's because my life has been super hectic. For those of you that have been following me, you know that I am going thru a divorce. Yes , I mustered up the strength to leave his lowdown butt. But , honestly, that has been the best thing that could have happened to me. I am happier with me, I love and embrace my flaws as well as accomplishments. I smile more , I laugh more. I am truly blessed to have so many friends and my brother and sister in law who have really held me down. Okay, weight update is as follows...started off at 242 lbs... I now weigh 156 lbs ( 6 lbs from goal weight), I wear a size 4-6 in women clothing, 5'7 ( almost), my waist is a 27 and I am loving life. I included a lot of pics to show my progress. I love you all for your support and kind words through my hard spots ... kisses and hugs to you all. P.s. I look really small in first pic but it must be that camera because I don't think I'm that little, lol.
  7. I am sorry to say that while this surgery has helped many, it has ruined 5 lives. My ex got this surgery without realizing that he probably had an underlying psychiatric issue which he medicated with food. After the surgery he never was relieved of pain. In fact, he almost died, even though the surgery was done in Princeton, New Jersey by an expert. He became septic because of a fistula. He lived through that. For 6 weeks after the surgery I had to stuff gauze inside the wound and change it twice a day. A nurse came to our house to change his IV. That was the summer of 2007. The entire month of July. The pain lasted more than 8 years. This pain and the lack of joy he Had previously derived from food, led him to a dark place which he medicated with alcohol while doctors prescribed antidepressants. His family thought he would be okay because he continued to make money hand over fist by surviving each office work day and spending the evenings and weekends soaked in alcohol, Drugged by medicine to mask his physical and mental anguish, and sleep. He lost interest in our children who were all under 8. He lost the ability to perform sexually. He eventually lost his job. We moved and in one weekend he took so many ambien that it is miraculous that he is alive. We eventually divorced because he felt โ€œmaybe [he] would feel less like committing suicide if we were divorcedโ€. But it was not so. He continued to behave and feel the same way. It was, in fact, worse. When the police intervened and got him to a hospital, it was found that he had a vitamin deficiency which caused damage in multiple organs. He is now recovered. He is in his right mind and has a job. But from 2007 to 2018, that was the life we lived. My children were without a present, healthy father from the time my son was 2 until he was 12. My daughter barely speaks to him because she blames him for turning to alcohol. She spent her life to 16 that way. The middle daughter understands, but likely does not realize how it has affected her. She knows nothing else. She was 4 when this started. I hate gastric bypass. If people are fat, itโ€™s because of a mentally unhealthy relationship with food. The exceptions to this statement are FAR LESS than the number of people getting this surgery. But doctors like money.
  8. Welcome to the BariatricPal singles Forum! I started this forum because of the huge changes you experience when you are on your weight loss surgery journey. Your lifestyle, your appearance, and the way you see yourself and the world can change. Thereโ€™s a good chance your relationships will change, too โ€“ and maybe youโ€™ll start some new ones. In fact, it may be time to date again! You can come here to the BariatricPal singles forum to mingle with other singles who have or are thinking about bariatric surgery. It can be a lot easier to start a relationship when you know the other person has the same health values as you, and understands what youโ€™re going through. I also would like to remind members that you are in control of which information you choose to share with other BariatricPal members. Use your good judgment if you choose to share personal information. Think twice before you decide to share personal information, such as your real name, your address, or contact information such as your email address or telephone number. Share personal information only with members whom you feel you can trust, if anyone at all. If you do choose to share personal information, share it only with a specific member using the private messaging system. Do not post personal information on this public forum. The regular Forum Rules (including courtesy and respect!) apply to this forum. Of course, you donโ€™t need to be looking for an online date to use this forum. You can also stop by for a little dating advice about your offline fling. Who better than other WLS singles to give you the scoop on dating post-surgery? So grab a cup of ice Water and join the singles party! Everyone deserves love, and you may find it here.
  9. I'd like to hear from those patients whom have faced divorce after their weight loss. Did you go through with it? Why or why not? What is it that made you consider divorce after plastic weight loss (versus sooner in your relationship)? Are you happy with or do you regret your decision? Thank you.
  10. Have any of you whom have already been sleeved found that your relationship has changed, either for the better or worse? I read someones comment last night that said most relationships fail after gastric surgery because the partner that has lost weight now realizes that they deserve better treatment than what they have been receiving. I was wondering how much validity there was to that statement. Have any of you found that your relationship has improved since you started dropping the pounds?
  11. So, let me first say happy Mother's Day to all of the moms on here. Secondly, I want to let you all know that I'm currently 161 lbs... which is 11 lbs away from my goal weight of 150 lbs. ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿพ round of applause for that being that this is month 5 for me. Tjirdky, let's discuss the topic at hand. Anyone who has followed me know that my journey with my husband has been bad . Well , it's reached an all time low. We were asleep 3 nights ago and the phone kept vibrating. I told him to answer and he wouldn't. Well we have 2 kids that are outside of the home right now so I said let me make sure it's not the kids texting him. But my gut told me this is gonna be bad. But I checked anyway. This is what I saw " You left your rubber in my bed and my baby found it""" with lil joking emoticons. OMG... my heart dropped to my toes. I felt he was cheating but didn't know for sure. Let me also put this out there. My husband had not slept with me in 3 1/2 weeks at the time. So I knew something wasn't right. I had been praying to God for a revelation in this marriage be it whatever way, good or bad because my spirit knew I wasn't being treated right and I knew he was messing around. Heck I had just caught him maybe 1 month before that trying to hookup on Facebook. So, needless to say I told him I want a divorce and this was it. No more will I be the hurt wife who is trying to sacrifice herself for her husband, nope. Already have been consulting legal counsel because it's over. Now, he swears he is gonna do right and wants his family. I told him he had 21 years to do right and if he wanted his family his penis oils have stayed in is pants. Ohhhhhh.... here's the agonizing part for me. This is the same woman he had an affair with on me 13 years ago. Same dirty tramp. I'm like oh no that means this never ended. Which he swears it was only one time. Yep I believe that like I believe in Santa Claus. I cried for 2 days straight. Then I said forget this , on Mother's Day I put on a backless sundress ( in my new size 8 yassss) went out shopping ,had a great time with friends and felt like I was coming into my new, happier peaceful self. I am still very hurt but I thank God for revealing his evil because I don't want an std or aids because he is a hoer. This surgery has truly changed my life. The old me would have cried and just took him bk and dealt with the pain. But not the new confident, strong Diana that this surgery helped to bring to surface. I posted before that I knew we were gonna divorce , just didn't think it was gonna be like this but it is what it is. There is someone out there who will cherish me and love me for the jewel that I am. Thsnk you guys for all your support throughout the months. You have truly become my family.๐Ÿ˜Š
  12. Hello, all! It is my sincere hope that all of you fellow texans are doing well. I got my world turned upside down October 2012, my husband of 22 years and I will be apart forever, soon. I have always been a stress eater, and have been backsliding by eating lots of carbs. I am not a sweets person, but the carbs are doing me in somewhat. I have maintained my activity level, but eat stuff I shouldn't. I continue to take my Vitamins and B-12 My question is, should I just "start over?" I could find an old diet from when I began on solids. thoughts? I'm just so sad and angry right now. Sigh...
  13. OKCPirate

    No more alimony

    Five years ago today my divorce was finalized. It was the end of a rough process. It isnโ€™t easy separating your life from someone who you had been with for 21 years and had four children with. It also means that even though we are divorced, we will be seeing each other during every major life event in our childrenโ€™s life. With that reality in mind, I had a couple of goals when I went into this process five years agoโ€ฆ #1 โ€“ Kids Make sure they always know that I love them, they are not at fault and I will always have their back. Also never work to separate them from their mother, and to never disparage my ex in front of the kids. I never wanted my kids to think they had to choose between us. #2 โ€“ Get out with as much dignity as possible I wanted out with as little public embarrassment, and with as little financial cost as possible. But I also knew that my ex was going to have a harder time than I would getting started again. So for the last five years I have been paying her alimony. I made my final payment last month. I understand some men (and women) get caught in some very bad situations because of sudden job loss and alimony can become inherently unfair. But in my case I thought it was important to supplement my exโ€™s income to help her maintain her dignity as she began a new chapter in her life. I didnโ€™t want my kids to think I threw her to the curb to fend for herself. The financial entanglements with my ex have now ended,and I wish her the best. I hope the kids see their parents as people who had their differences and could no longer live together, but never stopped loving and looking out for them. We will always be your parents, we love you and we have your back, always. All that said I think I have met my goals. I recently looked at my blood work from six years ago and what it is now. Six years ago I saw a person who was going downhill rapidly. This year's is nearly perfect. Thanks to WLS my health has never been better. My attorney told me, if you want to get revenge in a divorce, live a happy life. If she is miserable because of it, that is on her. If she isn't, well you have a happy life.
  14. I'd like to hear from those patients whom have faced divorce after their plastic surgery or bariatric surgery. Did you go through with it? Why or why not? What is it that made you consider divorce after plastic surgery/bariatric surgery (versus sooner in your relationship)? Are you happy with or do you regret your decision? Thank you.

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