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Hi All! Alex has graciously allowed me to post once about my dating site for weight loss surgery patients. I designed this site after input from several friends who have had weight loss surgery, myself included. Many of us are new to dating and just discovering ourselves and dating in general is hard enough, let alone after weight loss surgery. I thought it would be a great idea to bring men and women together who have both had some type of weight loss surgery. We all want to stay on track and we all fear regaining the weight we've worked so hard to lose. Finding someone with similar goals and interests would be great for long term success. www.loveafterwls.com was born! loveafterwls.com is NOW totally FREE! If you were a previous paying member, please unsubscribe and rejoin as a FREE member. Our site offers personal profiles with up to ten pictures, blogging, instant messaging, forums and more. Like all new dating sites, it will take awhile to grow our membership but come on in, fill out your profile, start a blog if you wish and help build this dating site into something great! Please tell your friends, especially men. We currently have a lot more women on the site than men. Visit www.loveafterwls.com for more information! Thanks

I live in Airway Heights, Washington. Distance should not matter too much in this day and age though. I would be willing to eventually relocate for the right person. I can understand that people have their personal preferences. I just wish people were more understanding and open minded. I am a pretty open minded, laid back, honest person with a good sense of humor. I can listen to all different types of music. I like different types of movies too. I am a hopeless romantic. I struggle with anxiety, but I am working on bettering myself and my life. I am also working on losing weight and getting into shape. I had the sleeve gastrectomy 10/27/2017. I am the type of person that can go out or stay in to have a nice time. It is the company that matters. I have not really been camping, hiking, fishing. I am not much of an outdoorsy person, but I think I would like to start being more outdoorsy. I do love nature. I would not mind trying outdoorsy things at least a couple of times, to make sure if I like it or not. Especially as the weather gets nicer and as I lose more weight too. I would love to go scuba and skydiving someday! I would also like to go horseback riding and ride a motorcycle too. I have not really been bowling before either, so I would like to go bowling. I don't know how to play pool, so that would be cool to learn. I am looking to make friends first and see where it goes. I am not looking for friends with benefits or a one night stand. I am not interested in being played. I would eventually like to have a long term serious monogamous relationship. I am looking for somebody who can challenge me and help me explore the world.

So, I just saw an ad when at the cinema last week for a dating site for those who have undergone or who are currently undergoing significant weight loss. It's called WeightlessDate.com. It encourages team work and support based on experiencing the same challenges and accomplishments. I thought it was a great idea and wanted to share with the community.

Alex has graciously allowed me to sneak into the mens room to tell you all about something exciting! I've started a dating website for bariatric patients. I wanted to create a safe place where men and women who've had surgery can meet people with similar goals. I can't think of anything more awesome than finding someone to share this journey with. Our website is TOTALLY FREE! It features profiles with up to ten pictures, private chat, private email, blogging and more. We are just getting off the ground so it will take some time to build the membership but you can help make this a success. If you are single or have other single friends, please send them to check out the site. We've got a fair amount of women to get started but we need men! Please visit www.loveafterwls.com for more information and to get your profile started. http://www.loveafterwls.com

I was just sleeved seven weeks ago. I am down 45 pounds. Now that my weight is down, my confidence is going up, so I decided to try online dating sites. How do I explain the fact that I can only eat 4-5 bites at the most of food on a first date? I don't want to get into a long discussion about my health history on a first date and really don't want to get into it ever. How do I explain to my dates why I am not eating so much?

Saw the most idiotic guy on a date tonight. I just wanted to smack the young twit. He thought he was being thoughtful asking his date what she wanted, where to go. He was peppering her with questions, trying to be sensitive to her feelings. What an idiot, bless his heart. Always remember, women use both sides of their brains all the time. This means they are not only wondering what might taste good but how you feel about what she suggests and then she'll start thinking about how her friends will react on where they went yadayada. I'll slap you if you say that's dumb...it is just the way women are wired. That's why they can make everything beautiful when they are feeling safe and inspired. A date is the one time she can relax a little. Make the reservations. Get a baby sitter if you have kids. Just do it. It doesn't have to be extravagant, ubber thoughtful, just take care of everything so she can relax a little. Little things mean everything to her. This does not mean unilaterally clean out the savings account to buy a boat. It means in these little things, just take care of it. It means everything to her just to be able to relax for a few hours every now and then. So take a lesson from "Mr. Sensitive" idiot. Just take care of it. If you don't she will be tired when the evening is done and that kind of defeats the purpose. You want her to be relaxed and energized. (Yeah, wink, wink, woo hoo - trust me) NOTE: If she objects to your decision, its for a reason she can't articulate, don't argue. So plan B's are a good thing to have too. I can't believe it took me almost 50 years to really figure this out, but ever since I have taken this approach in dating, I have observed how the women in my life just relax and can be themselves. Test it out. Look into their eyes. You will see the narrow focus loosen up, their smiles will show in their eyes. The eyes sparkle. I hope you can see that deep joy in their soul. For most women, being taken care of is so different from everything else in their lives they absolutely love it and they have no idea why. Here's why...they finally feel safe and cared for. Occasionally be extravagant, but 99% of the time, little things mean everything.

Rant: I had gastric sleeve surgery 12/2/2015. My highest weight was 307 pounds and my current weight is roughly 194 pounds. I moved to Florida late last year after my divorce and I have received the most attention I have ever gotten in my life. Guys would stare, give me a compliment or speak but never ask me out. A friend suggested I try online dating. I tried eHarmony, Plenty of Fish, Ok Cupid and Black People Meet. I made sure to have friends look at my profile so they could tell me if my online profile was decent or not. I do not talk provocative and my pictures are appropriate. I have gotten rid of every profile except eHarmony, but as soon as my subscription ends, I will cancel that too. I have gone on a few dates and the men who ask me out are nothing but freaking liars! They are either conceited, selfish, demanding or downright just looking for sex. My profile clearly states I am looking for a relationship, yet guys would ask to exchange pictures without even asking me for my name. And the guys who say they want a relationship on their profile eventually show their true colors and in the end you find out that they're just looking for someone to jump in bed with. Matter of fact, men would ask me to come visit them or if they could visit me, and that's just after communicating on the first day. WTF??? Are you not concerned about diseases??? The last guy who sent me a message on POF (Plenty of Fish) asked to meet him for drinks and was incapable of holding an decent conversation. I told him it was obvious he was looking for a hook-up and that's not me, and I wished him the best. I have gotten to the point where I am no longer interested in dating. Some people has found the love of their life online but I don't think it's for me. I have accepted the fact that being single is the way to go, that way I won't have to bother with being disappointed. Ok, rant over. LOL. With that being said, I am looking for friends, just people to hang out with. Anyone want to just have coffee? I am a sucker for a good coffee, Cappuccino or latte. If you're in South Florida, let's grab a cup, as a friend

Anyone near Youngstown, Ohio? I'm looking for someone else post-op (since I will be post-op VERY soon) to hang out with. If something develops, great! If not, doesn't matter, friends are always great to have. It will be nice to find someone who can help me cope with the post-op experience, etc. Thanks!

Super bored with hanging out with married/ committed people. They just dont have the same mindset i have. Any singles out there looking for new friendships?

Following my divorce I took a year to make sure I was emotionally clean before beginning to date. Two years ago when I was 300 pounds I had some success with Match.com. I took a break from dating following the surgery. I decided to try eHarmony in January. Now that I am 80 pounds lighter I have had even more success. Just being more attractive helps. I think it has done great things for my confidence. Most women in my age/target demographic group are health conscious. They don't want to date a guy who is pre-diabetic. Many people complain online dating doesn't work, and they feel rejected and ignored. My question is how seriously are you taking the process? Have you invested in high quality pictures to go on your profile? Have you looked at the myriad of resources out there to put together a really good profile? Do you know how many people are visiting the site you are on? (Go to http://www.alexa.com/ and look up the dating site you are interested in. You can find out how many men/women visit per day and other info to see if the numbers are high enough for you to invest your time there). Speaking of numbers - do you know how many prospective singles are in your area? There are 2368 single women, 40-50 who are employed with college degrees within 25 miles of my house. How do I know? I looked up the census bureau information. Do a little checking and you will find there are sites which will give you a good indication of how many prospective singles there are. One reason why you may not be getting many dates is there are not enough prospects in your area. Just knowing this helps you understand why you are not getting any interest to your profile. The fewer prospects you have, the longer the search will take. It is just a numbers thing. If you have 1000 people, some will be dating and will not be on the market, but then they break up and are back on the market. Be realistic. Getting dates is just sales and marketing (don't get judgmental; makeup/Spanx/pushup bras are just sales and marketing tools too). Here is a link to one of the best profiles I have ever seen. Back before the internet people used personal ads in newspapers to find dates. This is Gary Halbert's ad: http://www.thegaryha...Personal_Ad.pdf The profile is perfect, it describes him, what he DOESN'T WANT, and then what he wants. Your profile needs to follow the same pattern. A good online dating profile uses direct response marketing principles, but instead of selling a book, you are selling you. Test your profile. Put up different pictures. If one version doesn't work at attracting the people you want to meet, try another. I did three tests versions before I found one that worked well for me. Women, please don't feel the need to respond to every guy who sends you a note. Online dating is a numbers game. It is a tool to help you get higher quality prospective dates than simple random chance. Be safe. Every state has criminal/court records online. Get to know how to use those tools. Learn to Google someone. It's not creepy, it's just smart. And always insist the first meeting be at a Starbucks during the day (lots of light, lots of exits). Invest 20 minutes in the initial meeting. If there pictures match what you see, then go for a real date. Another complaint I have heard - everyone is just interested in sex. I don't think that is true, but why is there so much early sex in online dating? Well in my case I am mostly dating people who are divorced. We are used to having sex after going out on a date from our married days, so that makes sense there will be more sex than when we first dated before marriage. The other reason is by the time you actually go out you actually should have gotten to know the other person fairly well online. You get information that would normally take 3 or 4 dates to find out, so physical intimacy seems OK earlier than when you are starting the dating process. My dating maxims and other unsolicited advise 1) Women (wither they know it or not) always control the pace of a relationship 2) Men will continue to pursue as long as they are interested 3) If they are not pursing, then they are not interested 4) Some element of tension is vital to a growing relationship or it gets flaccid and it keeps everyone on their best behavior 5) It takes six months before all the shields and protections are down to really know someone 6) Biggest danger in online dating -- grass is always greener syndrome. This will keep you from committing to a good person because there may be someone better online. Enjoy the process. It's not rejection, it's just feedback. It's a numbers game, but be safe, be real and don't be cavalier with people's hearts.

When I was 130 pounds heavier 16 months ago, dating was difficult. A pretty face, but if I just lost the weight. I always seemed to settle. Now that I'm 130 pounds lighter, at 5'7" and a size 14, I work out five days a week and have been able to tighten and tone. Not perfect, but I'm built like a strong, fit roller derby chick and it's a pretty amazing feeling. Dating at 45 in this new body, I thought would be easier, however it just seems I've gone up the ring of what men find attractive, however am not quite small enough. I've met some great guys I'm not attracted to and somehow, am attracted to guys who aren't so great. I take pictures in the mirror, straight on, no angles, because I want to see what I look like. I've used some of these on a dating site with mixed results. One man told me I looked smaller in the picture than in person. Some, I can see, think the same thing, or I think they do and say I'm very pretty. At that point it's all about chemistry anyway. I met a man last week who was tall, broad and charming on every level. I had shared with him that the previous week, I met a man for a drink, who proceeded to give me roses and then expected that I wanted to have sex with him. Of course I said no. I mean please. Even though this new guy knew I wouldn't, I could tell immediately by the number of drinks he wanted me to have, that he thought I would loosen up and let him come home with me. Of course, I didn't and was disappointed once again. Here I am, half the person I was, and here I am, meeting the same men...who think that because I'm not a size 4, that I'm going to be easy. Now, I'm not saying women who are size 4 don't have this same problem. Also not saying that they don't have body issues either because I know all women have some kind of issue. I guess I'm struggling with knowing what I really look like. I don't know if I look normal, average, curvy. I hoped it would be a little easier, an improvement dating on the other side of the scale. I'm an attractive, confident woman and won't be settling, however wonder how many people struggle with dating post surgery. Men and women. Maybe it's just going to take someone really special . Still hopeful, yet a little sad tonight, still feeling like the fat girl again on the inside.

My lap band procedure happened 2 years ago. It was slow at first but it picked up and the next thing I know I went from undesired to 50+responses a day on single sites. You would assume I'm happy but there's always been one thing I've left out from date 1-3....THE LAPBAND...and thats the reason I'm here... Before you even comment I should mention I know there's a guy just "waiting for me" if I am honest and open but truth is the world is a scary place and those that have been 300+ understand that. Those that have been overweght since childhood and have dealt with life long rejection and self esteem issues understand where I am coming from even more. Spanx is my partner in crime...without them I would be nothing more than a flabby mess trying to be accepted by society. I guess it's just easier to put on my Spanx and pretend I'm a firm size 12 that gets the attention I've been missing for 30+ years. Being heavy and bullied and unwanted has made me quite the cynic. I'm not sure exactly how or when to address the lap band issue when dating and haven't found many people on here that have had this problem. Overall this is just a bump in my happily ever after. I understand everyone wants a mate but if given the choice between 130+lbs of excess weight and a boyfriend/husband I would and will always choose the lap band. And that I am happy for!!!

I'm curious if there is anyone in the Boise area looking for something similar. It's been hard explaining why WLS! It's made me have to get creative on how to meet my main squeeze. I'm 36 yrs old. Single mother of a 4 yr old. Love to go hiking, walking, biking, yard sales, fishing, avid camper, cook, cake artist, lover of life. I like to sing awful in my car, love naptimes, i like to fix things. Love animals. Huge crushes on Bald men. TMI. Ha! Hope to hear from you!

sorry just received unkind private message so this was deleted

Hello everyone! I'm 2 and a half weeks post-op and just joined here. I have a question about going on dates! How can I explain to my date why I am eating so little? Is there anything I can do to seem normal diet-wise? Thank you!

Wow, I didn't realize there was a forum for dating on here. Dating for me has always been a nightmare. I didn't start dating until I was 22 and I stopped when I was 28. It was such an awful experience. People are truly horrible. I met some of the weirdest, most disgusting and vile men on the planet. Thinking about it, it could very well be that I may have set my standards low because of my weight. If someone threw me attention, I jumped at it (though, thankfully, I never became intimate with anyone). A part of me wants to resume dating following my surgery, but I don't know. There's still a lot of hesitations I have about it. But what if my self-esteem improves? Maybe that means I'll be able to attract a better quality of man? What are people's thoughts on this? Have your dating lives improved since WLS? Were you ever in a situation such as myself and just went with whatever because of low self-esteem? Also (if it isn't too weird to ask), what about sex? As I just mentioned, I've never partaken in physical intimacy. But what if I do? Will people be grossed out by loose skin? Oh...here's a question, will they be turned off by the fact that I was previously obese? Are these dumb questions? Any input is appreciated.

Screaming laughing here! Just saw a TV ad for the latest dating site, although I'm not sure how much actual dating is involved: www.cougarlife.com "Meet Divorcees, Single Moms and Sexy singles looking for a young Stud! Start searching right now! - It's easy" BTW, the splash page urges visitors to see the commericial. It seems neither cougars nor their studs can spell or punctuate.

Apparently I'm single and should start thinking about dating again. Where are people meeting each other these days?

So The majority of my adult life i have been single. Mainly because i didnt want to even try dating being so big. Living in Florida most girls love the beach, pools, waterparks ect... Heck i love jetsking, boating and the beach. No one really has shown any interest before which i was fine with. Now that i am almost 100lb lighter i have girls hitting on me all the time. Even at work several customers have given me their phone numbers without me even asking, My coworker will joke with them and be like "Hey my coworker is single" lol and so far that has worked several times. Even my own other coworker has been showing interest and we been hanging out now. Gotta say.... I like it. haha. Now if only there was a surgery to make me taller. HAHAHAHA

Looking forward to seeing what this section is all about!

Today tot

NSV: I cancelled my blind date tonight. Why is this an NSV? Because the only time he texted me was on Weds to say he was having a really busy rough time at work and would get back to me. And never did. Tonight we had tentative plans with NO time or location specified (only that we should have dinner Friday and we will plan it later in the week) and I've been waiting quietly for him to plan or let me know. Last night was his deadline. I don't accept same day dates. I'm not desperate nor weak... anymore. Once upon a time I would have taken any excuse from someone to cancel, disappear, or do a last minute date with me. Something has triggered in me and I'm not accepting anymore dating b.s. The bar has been set. If he wants to see me, he can take me to a dinner date when he calls and plans ahead. I kept my babysitter, texted my friend and her husband and we are going out to dinner instead. When (or even IF) he finally calls to set something up, I'll just let him know that I've got a life. A great one. And he's going to have to step up his game if he wants my time. Plan ahead, book a time with me, and stay true to it, or I'm saying bu-bye. I'm kinda digging my new found confidence. ... oh yeah, and I dropped -3.5 lbs this week. I'm excited to go out with my friends and do a little twirl in my new dress and cowgirl boots. Loving my sleeve, and ME! Height: 5'9 Highest (Surgery) Weight: 216 1st Primary Goal Weight: 169 (Achieved 11/27) 2nd Optimal Goal Weight: 145 Sleeve Journey: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 8/17/12- PreOp/Surgery Day w/Pics Posted in Blog Week 1 (8/24): 204.8 (-11.2) Week 2 (8/31): 200.6 (-4.2) Week 3 (9/7): 196.8 (-3.8) Week 4 (9/14): 193.5 (-3.3) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 9/17/12- 1 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-22.5 lbs) Week 5 (9/21): 191.6 (-1.9) Week 6 (9/28): 190.1 (-1.5) Week 7 (10/5): 187.0 (-3.1) Week 8 (10/12): 181.9 (-5.1) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 10/17/12- 2 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-11.6 lbs) Week 9 (10/19): 181.4 (-.5) Week 10 (10/26): 177.9 (-3.5) Week 11 (11/02): 176.8 (-1.1) Week 12 (11/09): 174.7 (-2.1) Week 13 (11/16): 173.3 (-1.4) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 11/17/12- 3 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-8.6 lbs) Week 14 (11/23): 173.1 (-.2) Week 15 (11/30): 167.3 (-5.8) Week 16 (12/7): 168.1 (+.8) Week 17 (12/14): 164.6 (-3.5)

Looking to find a support friend and dating in Cleveland.

Over the course of a few months now I have been reading many resources on the matter of post op lifestyle and one of the topics that intrigued me was on dating. Many WLS professionals (counselors, doctors etc) are rather adamant in their assertion that most patients should wait until after one year past their surgery date to consider dating again. It's been quite a while for me already so waiting until the one year mark ain't nothing but a thang. I would imagine though for some acquiring a new found self confidence and of course increasing hormonal drives, that dating and wanting to meet the special someone to share their continued journey with, may find a year to be a little extreme. I am curious to know other opinions and how long other members waited.

Welcome to the BariatricPal singles Forum! I started this forum because of the huge changes you experience when you are on your weight loss surgery journey. Your lifestyle, your appearance, and the way you see yourself and the world can change. There’s a good chance your relationships will change, too – and maybe you’ll start some new ones. In fact, it may be time to date again! You can come here to the BariatricPal singles forum to mingle with other singles who have or are thinking about bariatric surgery. It can be a lot easier to start a relationship when you know the other person has the same health values as you, and understands what you’re going through. I also would like to remind members that you are in control of which information you choose to share with other BariatricPal members. Use your good judgment if you choose to share personal information. Think twice before you decide to share personal information, such as your real name, your address, or contact information such as your email address or telephone number. Share personal information only with members whom you feel you can trust, if anyone at all. If you do choose to share personal information, share it only with a specific member using the private messaging system. Do not post personal information on this public forum. The regular Forum Rules (including courtesy and respect!) apply to this forum. Of course, you don’t need to be looking for an online date to use this forum. You can also stop by for a little dating advice about your offline fling. Who better than other WLS singles to give you the scoop on dating post-surgery? So grab a cup of ice Water and join the singles party! Everyone deserves love, and you may find it here.