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Found 2 results

  1. This past Monday was my 10 week mark. Between that point and the last time I blogged, I lost 15 pounds. I realize that is abnormal for such a short period of time but I contribute it (at least in part) to finally curing myself of the constant constipation I've been dealing with since I had the surgery. This now puts my BMI in the high 20's (29.2). Now, I plan to get more serious about my sculpting goals although I still want to shed about 25 more pounds of fat. This week, the internet was flooded with a video of an anchorwoman who had received an e-mail from a man who said he rarely watched addressing her appearance (weight). Based on the letter, the man's approach was coming from one of concern with a mix of overstepping but it obviously bothered the anchorwoman enough to address it on the show. The video has now gone viral. The anchorwoman said a lot but she drew it back to bullying and letting children know that they should not let the opinions of other affect their self-worth. Most people say she ethered the anonymous man and I do think that it was clever to use her platform to address him....since she cared. In general, I thought the speech was ok. Do I think he bullied her? Not at all. An e-mail telling you that you should lose weight is not enough for me to say that the person is being bullied; especially amongst adults. I feel she did herself a disservice by acting as if she was bullied by this stranger. The facts are, had she just deleted his e-mail, we would never know about it. Now, we all know this guy's name and he has made further statements in the media since this video went viral. He's an attorney who has now gotten free advertising. His picture is up everywhere and he has "offered" to "help" her with her weight (sounds like a personal training business plug). Now, she's reading and hearing the comments from the general public that are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay worse than what the man said to her through e-mail. The anchorwoman and her husband went on GMA and her husband noted she has a thyroid problem. The anchorwoman stated that, "It's not about him anymore." The problem is that she was the one who made it about him. Anyone who has experience with a real bully knows that the worst thing you can give them is attention because they live off of it. Yet, this man never shared what he said to her in the media at all. It was her. I can only hope that as an adult, she is past the point of internalizing the unwanted comments of strangers (although doing a segment about it may mean she's not). If it weren't for her, this man would be a non-factor that very few of us even know exists. As wrong as it may be, it is a fact of life that everyone will not like you, be nice to you, find you attractive, think you are smart, or any other subjective measure. I feel that her activism would have been more productive by doing speeches in her local community at schools about bullying. Someone in her position could do a world of good by mentoring girls or young women who wish to go into the media arts and may be unsure about themselves. The way this played out seems like she was someone else resigning themselves to victimhood and it invited people to either pity her or lambaste her further; neither of those is preferable. Now, she's ready to move on and the rest of the people are still talking about her, him and it. Deepak Chopra said something that equates to this: what other people think of you is none of your business and when you try to make it your business, you'll perpetually be miserable (paraphrase). I think that applies to this situation.
  2. Yes, we do get into it here sometimes. There are posts and comments that cause our hackles to rise. We are from different states, countries, cultures and have different values systems, experiences and opinions. We respond to different approaches in different ways. Some of us need a "kick in the pants" or "tough love" and respond well to that, others are more responsive to a gentle hand and softer words. There is no one size fits all in these forums, which is what makes it stronger for the differences. One thing is obvious to me at least, and that is we all share a common experience and passion. We are planning to, or have been through vsg surgery and we are at times scared, excited, thankful, ashamed, proud, angry, apathetic, and countless other feelings. This is an emotional process. It is mentally stressful. It is academic in our search for information. It is very physical. For some it is even spiritual. We do not have to agree on everything. We are here to share our thoughts, opinions, experiences and questions. Since it is a public forum, it is also open to anything from anyone at anytime. That may be more challenging for some than others when they read a response that they interpret as offensive. Some react strongly, others are not as emotionally invested in what others have to say. There is no right or wrong way to feel about this. We do all need to remember that we are working through a framework of a shared experience, though we may process our thinking about it in different ways. Definition of Reactive Thinking Reactive thinking is crisis-based thinking, coming up with solutions after problems develop. Reactive thinking responds to the situation. A reactive thinker often spends too much of his time fighting fires. A reactive thinker is easily blindsided by circumstances. A crisis-driven reactive thinker may be more prone to feeling stress. Definition of Proactive Thinking Proactive thinking, on the other hand, involves foresight. To be proactive means to think ahead, in anticipation of future changes or problems. It means covering your bases to include all possible scenarios. A proactive thinker will have several contingencies in mind. A proactive thinker sees the likelihood of crises before they happen. Ref: http://www.ehow.com/...e-thinking.html

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