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Well, I was just diagnosed with this yesterday.....I've been having some serious aches and pains in my hips, knees and shoulders that I thought was just weight related..... Turns out I have an autoimmune disease called Polymyalgia Rheumatica. It's a form of arthritis. Treatment is prednisone. I had an intermuscular injection yesterday to start working on the inflammation. Not a fan at all of prednisone. It can and does increase hunger and can cause swelling and weight gain. Yay! I sort of had a feeling that something wasn't right but I didn't think is was something like this. My Rheumatologist (yes, I have one of those now) says I need to postpone my surgery until we can get this in remission. I cried all night. I have come so far, listened to people say I was taking the easy way out, have had very little support from my family but I continued on the journey to get healthy. Now my own body is fighting against me and telling me I can't have the surgery........
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Thanksgiving? I’ll be 3 weeks post op....TORTURE!
Shariberry replied to GeTnBackuP's topic in Gastric Sleeve Surgery Forums
Whatever you decide cook WAY less. If you eat out, eat off some one elses plate. You will be able to eat mashed potatoes or candied yams. Getting it done just before the holidays might sound tough, but look at the bright side- no holiday season weight gain this year. Also, I started to feel a lot better with more energy about the 1 month, so although the food experience will be much different, you should still be able to enjoy good company. Good luck! -
Interesting article on WLS and weight regain
Mattymatt replied to OzRoo's topic in Gastric Sleeve Surgery Forums
On paper it is as easy as calories in and calories out. This is what my surgeon had mentioned. But he said life is not so black and white and there are other factors that contribute to weight gain that are often ignored. The person that tells you that it is calories in and calories out is just another internet champion whom thinks they know it all. -
6 month stall 2 lbs up 2lbs down
leebick replied to Cleo in Mckinney's topic in General Weight Loss Surgery Discussions
I've been stalled for 6 months but a lot of it is my own fault. I "took the summer off" as I was traveling a LOT (gone 5 of 11 weeks, and then 5 consecutive weekends after Labor Day), so it was hard to keep up with my exercise routine (an hour of stationary biking a day). I was also grossly tempted by food and drink- a week in New Orleans? HAHAHA, but it was OK. I learned what I can and cannot tolerate. All in all it was a wonderful summer and I didn't gain any weight, but I also didn't lose weight. I know why- not measuring portions, not exercising regularly, having an adult beverage several times a week. I think if you examine your eating habits and lifestyle activities, you'll be able to find some places where you need to "realign" yourself; I sure know I can! Don't worry about a goal weight. Instead, focus on healthy and strong. My surgeon never set a goal, although they gave me a weight range within which I could reasonably expect to be a year post-surgery. I AM THERE... now I want to lose another 15-20 pounds and keep it off. I am 61 and I know that age brings on the creeping weight gain- a pound here, a pound there... and I never want to have my eating and body out of control again! Know that I am with you on this journey, and I'm starting off anew with measuring portions, cutting carbs (although I don't eat many, I have let the occasional french fry or chocolate chip cookie back into my life), making healthy choices, and working my muscles and body. I know we can both get there!! -
Wonderful!!! You are a true inspiration!!!! I was just reading an article that talked about this. What it said is there are 2 types of lymphadema. One is due to a mechanical defect in the lymph-pump system. Basically the fluid accumulates because the pump that removes it is broken. That is a type that is less likely to respond to weight loss. The second type is pretty much caused by being heavy. The heavier we are, the more volume of fluid that goes into the legs... the more fluid in the legs, the more has to be pumped out. After a certain point, the pumps get overwhelmed and can't keep up with the amount of fluid. Since the pumps are still working, weight loss removes the excess burden, and the condition gets better. The article didn't really go into how to tell which one you may have.. but it would seem to follow that if the condition only showed up after weight gain, then there is a decent chance that it's the second type. This is all based on a single article that I came across. I'm in no way an expert on this condition, but hopefully it's true that in some cases the condition can get better!
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I have come to realize from being on this site that every surgeon is different. I have gained 20lbs since my consult to now which has been 10 months total, 6 of which was my 6 month diet (which didn't work for me) and then three months of sending requested paper work from my doctors office to the insurance company and the review time it took). At any rate, I went in for my pre-op appt yesterday and the surgeon never mentioned a word about my weight gain. As long as insurance approved it, he is good to go. It's a shame some surgeons are such a pain when it comes to this.
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Weight gain in the first two weeks post op
BecomingMeAgain posted a topic in Tell Your Weight Loss Surgery Story
Hi all, so I have a question because I'm freaking out a bit. The day off my bypass 13 days ago I went into the hospital weighing 275lbs. After surgery my weight went up 10lbs while still in the hospital which I understand is from the IV fluids and what not. However after coming home, I dropped to 264lbs and in the past three days I have gained 3lbs. I know that's not a drastic gain but I'm still concerned. Has anyone else had weight gain after leaving the hospital during the first couple weeks post op ? Sent from my Pixel using BariatricPal mobile app -
Hello all! This is my first post here and I am thrilled to have this resource available at my fingertips. I have been reading posts for about two weeks and decided it was my turn to ask for your opinion. My relationship with food has been a lifelong struggle. After a while I gave up hating myself and tried to work on self love, which really just turned into justifying my bad habits. I started this gastric surgery journey at over 300 pounds after seeing a candid photograph of myself. I didn't recognize the person I saw in the photo. I had been ignoring health issues far too long that I knew were related to my habits. I began to make small changes like eliminating soda and fast food. I knew, though, that I needed to make a longer lasting change and the sleeve sounded like a great tool to reset my eating habits and relationship with food. My first appointment with the surgeon was June 8 2017. I weighed in at 294. I had four months worth of nutritionist visits, all of which I fluctuated between 295 and 297. Then I had my psychiatric evaluation on August 23 2017. My weight that visit was 299. The psychiatrist cleared me, but was very insistent that he typically wouldn't clear someone who had gained five pounds since their first visit and that my surgeon wouldn't perform the surgery unless I was down 5-10 pounds. My current weight is 290. My pre-op appointment is November 8 2017 and my surgery is scheduled for November 13, 2017. I am a nervous wreck. I have started going to the gym five days a week and doing half an hour of cardio. I don't restrict what I eat, only how much of it I eat. I know I will lose some weight as a result of the liquid pre-op diet but the psychiatrist's words haunt me. I am convinced after paying such a high deductible and all I've already been through that for some reason my surgery will be postponed. Has anyone else had a similar issue? How was it resolved?
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@CamillaCallie just done all my pre op testing. It was really just blood work more ? From the Dr. EKG that's it. I have to start my clear liquid diet tomorrow because of the weight gain I have to do 3 weeks. But other then that it was fine.
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Many of you probably don't 'know' me from these forums, but I have been around for several years. i'm almost 4 years post VSG. I have struggled through many chapters in my life since my surgery and have regained a good amount of weight. since I carry ALL my weight right around my middle, I look horrible and my self esteem has tanked. Since my surgery I changed jobs and moved, lost a parent, had to change doctors, and gained a master's degree. I'm currently in the final few classes to become a Family Nurse Practitioner. on top of all that, I had managed to lose enough weight initially to be off all my medications-GERD and BP. Now i'm back on both. My GERD has worsened with the weight gain and i'm at the point where I can't lay on my left side if I've eaten within the past few hours because the food and acid will backwash into my throat. i'm miserable. I have been to the psych doc, the NUT, to the surgeon, and to my GP. none of them can give me an exact direction of what to do. my GP says they simply don't know enough about bariatrics to guide me. The bariatric team trialed me on Contrave, I got so sick I had to stop. I tried Keto and spent two days in misery from all that fat. My brain is the issue and I don't know how to get it back under control. I am taking straight Welbutrin for the time being to see if that will help with behavior AND with appetite. my surgeon is very concerned that from the GERD, i'll need a revision. I don't really WANT a revision, I know that the GERD has worsened because I carry ALL my weight in my waistline and it's pushing up on my sleeve- badly. I have an EGD this week with my GI doc which will look at the GERD and also the condition of my sleeve. I have no excuse, the regain is completely my own doing. One day about 20 months ago, I thought that drinking a diet ginger ale at work would be ok, and it has spiraled out of control from there. I am trying badly to get off of soda again, which I think is really the first step. As I walk this very difficult road to get back on the path where I belong, I ask for your prayers, positive thoughts, and vibes.
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Hyperhidrosis reduced post-op?
Berry78 replied to wjgo's topic in General Weight Loss Surgery Discussions
https://www.sweathelp.org/hyperhidrosis-treatments/treatment-overview.html Since weight gain didn't cause the problem, weight loss can't be expected to fix it. But if additional weight has piled normal sweating on top of the hyperhidrosis, then at least weight loss could help that aspect. Good luck! -
I have had hyperhidrosis (auxiliary) since highschool, even when I was fit and on swim teams. I think the condition has at least worsened since then. But being a rare disorder, few people can say if getting older (now 45) is a factor. I know that weight gain did not cause it. Many sources will say being overweight is a factor, but it was not for me through high school and college. But has anyone experienced the condition being reduced after the surgery? Sent from my XT1609 using BariatricPal mobile app
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Yes. Are you taking photos? Sometimes a side-by-side visual from where you started and where you are now can show a difference that you can't see from day to day. Have you tried taking your measurements? That can provide a real numbers that things are changing. Also, even if your regular clothes feel the same (remember, larger plus sizes can accommodate 20-40 pounds of weight gain/loss), perhaps you can try some smaller clothes that were too tight for you in the past. I was surprised at how well some clothes fit after 20/30 pounds lost. Grant it, some were a little tight, but considering I couldn't even zip or button them up before meant that things were changing. One more thing to consider as you lose weight - of course, we all want to avoid spending money on new clothes as we drop weight, but I think most of us are able to "shop" in our closets for smaller clothes, at least for a while. That said, look at your clothes - do the pants/skirts have elastic bands, or are they button/zip? How fitted are your shirts? Do the collars on shirts look bigger (your bra strap is showing). Where are the shoulder seams - are they hanging down the side of the arms? How much material is there in the underarms? It's not about whether or not you fit inside your clothes, but do they fit you? I have to say people noticed my weight loss a lot more when I wear clothes that fit me properly.
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Weight gain pre op :(
GlowingGal replied to Bombshellkitten's topic in PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
First of all, congratulations on being a survivor! My husband was also abused from 5 years into adulthood. My weight gain was from severe depression and insecurities. Plus, I love food. It was my best friend, so I thought. My doctor told me I had to weigh at least one pound less than the date we met the first time or my insurance wouldn't pay. I gained during the first four of six monthly visits. I ended up losing the weight I gained and now I'm on my liquid diet and I'm below the cut-off, so I'm good. Check with your surgeon about the weight gain. Docs and insurances are all different. Best wishes to you. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N910A using BariatricPal mobile app -
Will the dietitian clear and approve to move forward if I have gained weight? details below... pardon the lack of punctuation, I am on my phone I have my final visit with the dietitian this week. I was doing so well until the mental health professionals threw a wretch and sent me way off track (long story short, I was a victim of childhood abuse and sexual abuse while in college... it pretty much was a how can someone go threw this and hold their life together and said I couldn’t do the surgery because I “needed” there help because well how Can I live when something like that happened) I stood up for myself and yes, the things I have been threw was terrible but I am a stronger being because of it. After the assault, I gained a lot of weight, by a lot I mean like 70lbs in a few short months... then continually climbed due to the depression that had set in. Wanting to have the surgery in the first place is to take back that part of my life. In doing so, I went off track and back to depression. My view was that since I was abused, that is the only thing I will ever be so why bother mentality... anyone had a similar situation?
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Weight gain before seeing surgeon for upcoming surgery
dfhtuy89 posted a topic in Gastric Sleeve Surgery Forums
My anxiety is at an all time at the moment. My surgery date isnt until October 30th and I start my liquid diet October 16th. I'm not stressing about the surgery but the weigh in with my Surgeon. She wants to do a weigh in on Tuesday October 17th but the probably is I gained 15 lbs!!! I gained all that weight in 5 days. There are a lot of factors... 1) I didn't drink any water for 3-4 days 2) My period has been on and off for 2 weeks because the birth control in my arm was expiring so I got a new one put back in 3) stressed 4) lack of sleep and have been sleeping late. I know you can gain some weight from water retention, being on your menstrual and being stressed out but 15 pounds?! This is really bad timing. If im not the same weight or have lost anything that means my surgery will be postponed and that isn't an option for me. I plan on starting my liquid diet a little bit in advanced ( Sunday 10/15 ) This has to be all water weight but i don't know if it's possible to lose 15 pounds in 3 days. This is all just bad timing -
Weight gain before seeing surgeon for upcoming surgery
dfhtuy89 posted a topic in Gastric Sleeve Surgery Forums
My anxiety is at an all time at the moment. My surgery date isnt until October 30th and I start my liquid diet October 16th. I'm not stressing about the surgery but the weigh in with my Surgeon. She wants to do a weigh in on Tuesday October 17th but the probably is I gained 15 lbs!!! I gained all that weight in 5 days. There are a lot of factors... 1) I didn't drink any water for 3-4 days 2) My period has been on and off for 2 weeks because the birth control in my arm was expiring so I got a new one put back in 3) stressed 4) lack of sleep and going to bed super late. I know you can gain some weight from water retention, being on your menstrual and being stressed out but 15 pounds?! This is really bad timing. If im not the same weight or have lost anything that means my surgery will be postponed and that isn't an option for me. I plan on starting my liquid diet a little bit in advanced ( Sunday 10/15 ) This has to be all water weight but i don't know if it's possible to lose 15 pounds in 3 days. This is all just bad timing -
Choosing what to do first?
Djmohr replied to monalyssa33's topic in Plastic & Reconstructive Surgery
I waited until I reached goal and was nearly 6 months on maintenance. Then I decided to go with my arms first because they bothered me the most. The result was incredible!!! I had always had what we lovingly called grandma arms. Then of course, my tummy and breasts really bothered me now that my arms were awesome. So I had a full abdominalplasty, breast lift and augmentation in January 2017. Again, the results are incredible. Completely flat tummy and awesome breasts!!! Then my I swear it looked like my face melted off and really bothered me so in July for my birthday I had a full deep plane face lift, Endoscopic eyebrow lift, Lower Bleph and fat transfers. My face lift took what looks like 20 years off my face!!! Most of the swelling was gone in 3 weeks and my body is still absorbing sutures and changing a little in a positive way. I still have slight bruises under my eyes but so slight, only me, hubby and surgeon even know they are there. I was presentable in 3 weeks post op. In between all that I had to have both my shoulders repaired (Rotator cuff and AC joint). Having that much going on in a 1.5 year span has actually caused me to be less active than I would like and about 6 months ago, I began to gain some weight. The dreaded 15%....it is very frustrating and although I am working on it. For me that is nearly 20lbs.....I still look fantastic but that weight gain is freaking me out and the worst is....it is not so easy to lose it as it once was. If I can drop 15lbs.....I do plan to have 2 more procedures. My butt is completely flat and looks like a sharpe dog, and my thighs need a lot of work, especially where everything droops around my knees. My surgeon is suggesting finishing my abdominalplasty on the back side which ultimately will result in a lower body lift, she would then get the fat from my legs and use it to lift my butt as a part of that first surgery. Then 6 months later I would have a thigh lift as my last procedure. I have not decided for sure if I want to go through more and I certainly wont do anything until I drop at least 15lbs, would like to drop 20. Of course the cost of doing all this work has been very expensive but worth every penny. I chose a surgical team that I had complete faith in and they have not disappointed me at all. The pain from plastics is pretty extreme and I am someone who has a very high pain tolerance and dont like to take pain meds. My plastic surgeon tells me I am the opposite of most....my arm lift was the most painful of all. I guess the abdominalplasty is supposed to be the most painful. I had my breasts done at the same time and I honestly think they were more painful than the tummy tuck. LOL... My face was not painful at all. I think I took pain meds for 3 days total. That is more about ice packs..... My TT and BL/A took the longest at nearly 10 total hours and I stayed in the hospital. My arm lift took over 6 hours and my facelift took 9 hours and was completed in a hospital not in the doctors office. Because I had such an extensive neck lift and an endoscopic brow lift, he knew I would get a better result if he used a general anesthetic. I was happy because there was no way I could last that long laying on a table while awake. Anyway.....plastics has been awesome to me. I learned that the most important thing is finding a surgeon that you trust, and not to shop for price. You get what you pay for and what people fail to realize is that after care is critical. If you do any of this work, you are looking at hundreds/thousands of sutures in your body.....there will always be something that comes up that your surgical team will need to follow up on. Especially with weight loss surgery patients. -
Bing Eating Before My Surgery October 30th!
LuckyCharm88 posted a topic in PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
I have been doing so well for the past 6 months by exercising and eating right up until I got my surgery date two weeks ago. Now I have NO Will Power, I am hungry all the time and I suddenly don't have the motivation to exercise. I feel horrible and I fear that my surgery date will be cancelled due to weight gain. Maybe I want to eat everything in sight due to my fear of NEVER HAVING IT AGAIN! Has anyone else experienced self sabotage before the surgery? -
Feeling like something is wrong
James Marusek replied to Mr Edwards's topic in Gastric Bypass Surgery Forums
The three most important elements after RNY gastric bypass surgery are to meet your daily protein, fluid and vitamin requirements. Food is secondary because your body is converting your stored fat into the energy that drives your body. Thus you lose weight. Weight loss is achieved after surgery through meal volume control. You begin at 2 ounces (1/4 cup) per meal and gradually over the next year and a half increase the volume to 1 cup per meal. With this minuscule amount of food, it is next to impossible to meet your protein daily requirements by food alone, so therefore you need to rely on supplements such as protein shakes. I am assuming that you are following your surgeons directions on daily protein, fluid and vitamin requirements to a tee. Since you are several months post-op, one thing to do now at this stage is to assess your protein intake. Your daily protein requirement is met by a combination of the amount of protein you obtain from food combined with the amount of protein from protein supplements (protein shakes, protein bars). Right after gastric bypass surgery, the volume of food you consume is minuscule (2 ounces) per meal. But as you get further along, the meal volume increases. Therefore you have a very important option available to you. As a result, you can begin to reduce your reliance on protein shakes if you concentrate on consuming high protein meals. I went from 3 protein shakes a day, down to 2, down to 1 and eventually none when I reached 1 cup per meal at a year and a half post-op. This is important because protein shakes contain calories. If you can reduce your caloric intake, then you can end a stall. At least that was the approach that I used and it worked for me. In your case, I would recommend that you do not weigh yourself daily. Limit it to around once per month. Checking your weight daily seems to be causing stress. Stress can cause depression and weight gain. So avoid stress. -
Aetna Insurance denied & Appeal
Amburmist replied to sweetsleeveday's topic in PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
Are u certain the weight gain was the reason for the denial? Did they specifically tell her that? If they didn't give a specific reason, I would call immediately to understand why they denied. There can be so many hoops to jump thru, it may not be the weight gain. Was she doing the doctor supervised diet requirement? Another thing, does ur daughter have a BMI over 40? I thought with a BMI over 40, it's usually the comorbidities (like apnea, diabetes, etc) that would allow an approval, not so much a weight gain. Hell, that's the whole reason we're trying to get these surgeries, for goodness sakes! I know u said her surgeon is going to submit an appeal but I would certainly also be on the phone with Aetna to understand exactly why I was denied and what criteria I need to do to get approved. And how often can she submit to be approved for this surgery, if they end up denying the appeal? This can't be the end of it forever. Push on. Make them tell u how to get this approval! I'm sorry she has to go thru this and I wish u guys all the luck. I hope Aetna relents and gives the damn approval!! -
Aetna Insurance denied & Appeal
sweetsleeveday posted a topic in PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
Does anyone has Aetna or other insurance with this problem.....My daughter was denied due to weight gain only 4 pounds and she has sleep apnea..her doctor stated he is going to appeal it.....so far she lost 8 pounds. Do anyone know how long is the process??? And did anyone go through this and won? -
Surgery didn’t work?
dyemond11 replied to Lacecute's topic in POST-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
Lacecute, I’m sorry that your dealing with this, but I hate to say that this is a rude awakening for you any will be for many others. This surgery is a tool to help assist with your weight loss. You still have to put the work in as you stated your doing. You will find in your journey weight gains and MANY stalls. The stalls could last 1 or 2 weeks, later in my journey my stalls lasted longer. Your not even two months out so your doing awesome with your weight loss. One thing you don’t want to do is compare your journey to someone else. Everyone is different! This will not happen overnight, please keep that in mind. As the person said prior to increase your food intake, Men’s bodies are different as well and will need more calories than a woman. When you come across a stall increase your protein and water intake. Stay focused on the end result, and to reach the end result don’t add in your triggers or those things that are not good for you I.e. chips. There are healthy options if you desire those guilty pleasures. I would definitely wait until later in your journey to indulge, bad habits now lead to more bad habits. Don’t be so hard on yourself the surgery is working and your doing awesome with your weight loss thus far! -
Hi, this is my first time posting here. Just looking for some support/advice. So I'm scheduled to have a gastric sleeve at the end of the month. My weight is 190lbs and I'm 5'3". I know I am at the lower bmi to be having the surgery but I fractured both of my hips last year (due to massive weight gain and low bone density) and am at a huge risk of fracturing them again if I do not get this weight off. I have tried everything, I can lose a stone but always put it back on and more. I stupidly told my family about getting the surgery done. My husband has been so supportive and understands why I need to get this done. However the rest of my family have been a disaster. They all think it is a case of just eating less and exercising more. I have tried to explain numerous times that I have tried everything and this is something I need to get done for my health. They are also worried about my dying or getting serious complications. I have said that it is not up for discussion anymore, that my decision has been made. This hasn't stopped them continually talking to me negatively about it. As soon as I am on my own (when my husband is not there) they come at me about it. Im finding it really hard emotionally to deal with this, and feel like I'm at such a low point now. Nobody seems to understand, no matter how hard I have tried to explain things. For me this is not about fitting into smaller clothes or looking good. I want my life back, I want to be able to do the things I used to do and not to be so depressed about my weight. Has anyone gone through this with their families that has some advice?
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Like a small boat.. On the Ocean.. Sending big waves into motion
kellys77 posted a blog entry in Kelly is finally taking control of her life #frickinscaredtodeath
I keep hearing that Rachel Platten song on the radio, and I know that i need to start working on my inspirational playlist to get me through the next few months, or maybe even years. But each time I hear one of the songs I want to add to my playlist i start to cry, ugh, why am I so emo? I am pre-op, 4 months in to my 6 month appointments quota for insurance approval. Nutritionist and Psych eval booked. Cardiology work up done, and A-ok, and no sleep study needed. I am genuinely huge. In my eye, I am an exceptionally large woman. I know that most times I am the largest person in a room. I get anxious now when i eat out, what if there are only booths? Its so cliché to say that I have been fat my whole life, so I wont say that. Specifically I have been fat since the 3rd grade. I changed schools and was genuinely and cruelly bullied for 4 years. I was molested by a neighbor when I was 7-8 years old, and he liked to remind me of it once and awhile when I played with my friends in the neighborhood, my parents didn't believe me. I had a mental breakdown at 12, and was nearly hospitalized. Instead they opted for drugs and a child Psychiatrist. I tried to live on cucumbers to lose weight, it worked for awhile. When I was 13, I actually looked cute in a bathing suit. That was the last time lol, I ever looked cute in a bathing suit. Home life was terrible. I had a Mother, who was morbidly obese, with severe untreated mental illness (it was very taboo in the 80's, and hard to get treatment for regular people), and a father that was an enabler to her abusiveness. Her depression and food addiction left her ill equipped to be a parent, and my father worked all the time to put food on the table, so he couldn't really step in. I grew up quick, taking as best care of my little sister as I could, working as much as I could (had a job at 14), and trying to be positive. I knew there was a better life for me out there, in the great unknown. I lived in a bustling metropolitan area, where opportunities abounded! So I thought.... I fell in love with Mr. Completely wrong at 18, and messed up college. Got an office job, that eventually evolved in to a position at a bank, where my met my ex husband and baby daddy, who was in the Navy at the time. My insecurity, and low self worth permitted me to overlook major flaws and marry him. We divorced, and I moved back to the East coast, my home. I am now remarried, and in a much healthier relationship. I have always been big, but in the last 4 years I have gained upwards of 70 pounds. My mobility is shot. I have fallen twice spraining my ankles, tearing ligaments and tendons, which makes my ankles tender and sore when I walk. My hips and plantar fascilitis in feet make walking like walking on coals. So pain = sitting, and sitting = weight gain, and you multiply this by my age, and add a few more comorbidities, you die in a chair, connected to an oxygen machine, like my mother. I don't want to die in a chair, after wasting away for years. My insecurities are like a cancer. It eats away at everything. I know having WLS isn't a panacea for all my life's challenges, but perhaps if I am not largest gal in the room, and I felt like I belonged in this world, somewhere, I could be on a pathway to happiness. I just want to fit. Fit in a chair, fit in clothes from a regular store, omg, i want to fit in a kayak so bad, hee hee. I get stared at, looked up and down, and the worst, simply ignored. I just know that a picture of my @ss is going to show up as a graphic image on one of those local news segments on morbid obesity, or some video clip of me walking down the street (from shoulders down of course), because I don't have a face, I am not a person anymore in society's eye. Its not going to be easy, its already not easy, but it's time. I pray for the strength to use this tool the best I can, and heal myself of my hurts and find hope in a new life.....