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yeah i still have a few friends who dont agree with me getting the band, but i have not had any complications other than self induced(not chewing well/eating too fast...leading to sliming and vomiting.) But going from a size 20 to a 16 in 3 months i'm totally happy. i feel like some people who know i'm banded totally watch me when i'm eating . I still havent told a lot of people and some are wondering what i'm doing and i tell them portion control and i work out 2-3 days alone and 2 days with a trainer. so it's not easy, but i'm doing it. congrats on your loss so far! keep up the good work

I am 5 days post surgery....and back at work! I am still sore and if I move in certain ways, I have a sharp pain where my port is most likely attached, but all in all I feel great! At last weigh in I was down about 17 lbs. I can't really eat much yet. If I drink too much, I do end up with a weird reflex/gas type effect. Anyone else had that post banding? Surgery was last Wednesday, the 21st. I was released on Thursday to go home. My surgery stay was easy, one night over due to CPAP. The first night is always the hardest in any surgery and in this case I had a bad set of nurses which was disappointing. The tech was a male and was not very good at bedside manner and the nurse was pregnant, due in 2 weeks. I felt for her but she was so non attentive. And they literally came in to my room and she complained about a patient in the room next to me! I was shocked! Owell...they were only shift for 6 hrs and the next turn over was a great duo. I was good from then on. I was up and walking almost immediately. I was taken off my IV pain meds before the morning which was nice, as it made me completely zonk out. I was at the hospital until about 3:30 the next day and then got to go home. My little 5 yr old came with my mom to pick me up and she had fun sitting in bed with me watching TV. I slept SO good that first night home. I fell asleep quickly and although I woke up in the night for meds, I basically slept through. I got up the next morning and got out of bed to spend the day on the couch. I even logged on to get some work done! Friday I enjoyed my day as I was home alone all day and got to relax all day. I was still sore moving around and had a lot of gas in my tummy from surgery. That was the worst part really! Also my throat. I thought I was getting sick but luckily it was simply from the tubing for surgery that is in the throat. My uvula was very swollen and my throat was red. By Saturday night that wasn't as bad. I had to sing at church on Sunday morning and I was able to do fairly well singing. I was not as tired as I expected. Every day I have gotten better and I keep reminding myself how fast the body heals and how fast we get back to normal. The days seem to be longer sometimes when we are in pain. I'm bruised on my tummy where my small incisions are. I have about 6 small sites although only one really hurts. It seems to be where my port is and I was told it was where the majority of the work was done there. I even showered on Saturday morning and that felt so wonderful! I'm a little dizzy still but not terrible. I'm only on my pain meds 2-3x a day now. Today I put a pair of pants on that were loose! I can't wait to watch how clothes fit me different. Then to go shopping for new clothes! This is long but I wanted to give an update. Hope that all who read this will be blessed and encouraged! We are in this together! Best wishes to our new healthy life!

Pretty random, huh?! Since yesterday I've had episodes where it feels like my heart is beating in my throat. I've had SVT in the past (super fast heart rhythm) so it was a little concerning, after two heart ablations I can't have another, I'll need a pacemaker, so I was a little worried (pacemaker at 28 - NO THANKS!!). I met with my PCP today and she thought that it could be a few things, either the vagal nerve getting irritated by my band, not eating enough calories, or dehydration. I could buy into the vagal nerve thing because it does affect me after fills. I'm only taking in around 600-800 calories a day and burning about half with cardio daily, but I'm drinking around 80-100 ounces of water a day. My heart was in normal rhythm, blood pressure was great. Her suggestion was to up my calories or try to correlate the feeling to something specific. Hmmm...not sure what to do. Plans! I'm a total planner, but I never have anything to do. Make sense? When something comes up to do, I plan it all out, but really my life is boring and all I do is sleep, work, jog, repeat. For some reason, maybe because I'm finally living my life, I have SO much to do. Every weekend for the next month and a half I have "stuff". New concept for me, I love my free time, and I kinda feel like being committed to something and having things to do puts me back into my OCD-ish mode of becoming a control FREAK. (In case you're new to my journey...after the psych eval for WLS, it came about in a round-about way that I have PTSD from a childhood trauma, and my way of dealing was to ALWAYS be busy, never sit still, and if I HAD to sit still I would keep my hands busy by eating...and got to 243 lbs). After seeing a couselor for a few sessions, I took on a whole new lease on life. I go with the flow, relax, read more, only clean my house every few days instead of for an hour every day (no kids to mess it up either, just a little over the top about cleanliness). Having things locked down that I have to do kind of sets me into this frenzy, I realized today. Hmmm...something else to think about a solution for. And lastly and most importantly, I just have to say it feels SO great being successful with my lap band journey. I've never dealt well with failure, and tend to dive into things head first and never come up for air, so seeing the scale slide further and further down feels AMAZING. For the first time in my life, I think I feel proud of myself! My husband asked me last night if I was sure I wanted to have my goal so low (it's at 160, and I'm 5'8", he's worried I may look too thin). I assured him that I don't want to get too thin (what a concept to think about though!!) and I would see how I felt once I got there. I may want to go lower, may want to gain a few pounds (another mind-blowing concept!). My coworker asked today how much more I would like to lose and when I said 35-40 lbs, she said she thought that may be too skinny. Again, people with this skinny business!! Although I value their opinion and concern, this is something I'm doing for me, and assured them that when I get to a weight that I feel healthy I will try to maintain. Have any banders at goal gotten any reponses about being too thin? How do you deal with that?

Today I did something I haven't been able to for years. I ran. Actually ran TWO MILES, It wasn't fast by any account. In fact- it was more then double the time it took me to run the same distant in high school-28 minutes. I also twice as old. I loved to run in high school. It was my ME time. I felt free and happy when I ran. I was a track and cross country star. Captain, MVP, All County, all conference,all state blah blah blah. I lived to run- I ran 6 days a week over 35 miles a week on average. From 7th grade thru high school,part of college. BUT that was over 25 years ago and I was 17. After college, marriage and three kids, and doubling my high school weight running wasn't so good or happy. I tried to run after my kids and it hurt my knees way too much. I had gain too much weight and it put too much pressure on my knees. There I was too fat to run, without causing more health problems. I was depressed when i got on the treadmill and could only run for a few seconds before my knees hurt, so stopped trying. My kids found this box of running trophes, metals and awards in basement. They wanted to know who's they were. They were very surprised when I told them they were mine. In fact they didn't believe me until they read the engraved awards. So after losing almost 65 pounds, I decided to try it again. Ok I didn't really decide, as in ok I going to go run now. I actually just went up to the track to walk, put on the IndigoGirls and U2 in my iPhone ,and started to move. Music was too up beat to just walk so i started to run, and started my timer for a baseline. I really didn't think i would make it around the curve let alone a full loop on track. But... My knees didn't hurt. So after the first lap, I was like, wow, let see if I can do it again. I walked half a lap between the first mile and the second. I was tired and sweaty and had a cramp in my side when i was done, but I ran it. and then walk another 1/2 mile after to cool down. I may be a bit sore tommorrow, but I enjoyed myself, and it felt good to know I could do it. I have been doing Dance party with kids and walking, swimming and stuff. But this was the first time I tried to run. Last time I ran- it was the Marine Corp Marathon 14 years ago- and that was the first race i had run since college 5 years prior, I did it in over 5 1/2 hours, When I finished the race, I was glad i did it but set a new goal of doing it again only in under 5 hours before I turned 50. I was about 175 pounds at the time( 20 pounds lighter then now). I remember going to the store to get a new running bra, I was a 38DD, size 16 ish, at time and I hear the women behind me snicker when I was talking about running the marathon with saleswoman. " she's running a marathon?,haha, how, why" pissed me off big time. So I turn and told her, "Yes, I am. I put one foot in front of the other, and just keep going,because I can." So it was good realize today that I can do it. I it was a good feeling running again. Only 8 more years til I turn 50. I guess I need to start get myself marathon ready. Baby steps. First you walk, then you run, then you run a litle bit longer...it not out of reach.

What made me think that maintenance mode would automatically result in freedom from fat angst? My husband thinks I am too thin by several pounds. When I went shopping for jeans today and asked for a size twelve in Cruel Girl, the store clerk suggested I start with the nines since "you are quite slender." The scale tells me I am at goal but the mirror reflects what appear to be fat deposits clinging to my hipbones and upper thighs. I've spoken about this with the health coach my insurance provides me with and I am wearing a pair of size nine Wranglers, but... my head is still in fat mode. Is it a matter of chanting an "I'm not fat ohmmmmmmm" mantra several times a day? Perhaps I'm afraid if I start to feel thin I'll get overconfident and back the weight will come, especially since in the last two weeks I've had 1.75 cc removed from my band. My band tightened over the course of the summer, perhaps due to a series of mild stomach upsets that caused some swelling. For a month almost everything I ate and drank came back up in short order. Removing .75 cc made it possible for me to drink liquids comfortably, but I still struggled to keep solids down so opted for another unfill. What a challenge this last 1 cc unfill has turned out to be. Dr. B tells me it is easier to adjust up than down and he’s not led me wrong yet, but I have essentially no restriction on what I can eat right now. We were supposed to begin fills next week but he will be out of town, making my next fill appointment ten days away. Can you say “trepidation,” Dear Reader? Now, no doubt practicing self-control without physical restriction is good for my character, and I realize that if I gain a few pounds in the next ten days I can lose a few pounds in the ten days immediately following. I did gain a couple of pounds which I know logically was water returning to my dehydrated tissues, but- GAIN? Did I actually write GAIN? All of a sudden the ghosts of the ninety-five pounds I lost crowd around me, trying to find a place to reattach themselves to my body. Fat angst. In retrospect, I wonder how much fat angst contributed to my overnight stay on the hospital’s telemetry floor this week? Here’s the story of that: Wednesday afternoon, I sat on a hill above the creek, watching my sorrel mare graze on one of the last semi-green patches of grass in the pasture. My knees were drawn up to my chest, a position I love and had not been able to achieve during the years I hauled around almost a hundred extra pounds. I thought perhaps this position caused the dull cramp across my chest. I straightened up but instead of loosening, the cramp grew worse and wrapped itself around my back as well. More position changes and a few stretches later, the cramp tightened into a sharp band of pain that took my breath away. I eyed the distance between me and the barn, took Star’s lead rope in my hand, and started up the hill, thinking surely the walk would release the pressure on my lungs. It took me far too long to cross that expanse of pasture; I must’ve stopped a dozen times to bend down and will the knives to quit stabbing me. I thought about calling out to the two women riding in the arena, but suspected I couldn’t make a loud enough noise for them to hear. Besides, who wants to cause a scene, hmm? By the time I reached Star’s run and fumbled open the gate for her, I was ready to cause any scene necessary to get myself some help. I made it to my car, found the cell phone I almost never turn on, and lay down on the ground to call 911. The next twenty-four hours of my life were blessed by medical personnel who were kind, compassionate, and competent, from the dispatcher who stayed on the phone with me until the ambulance arrived to the CNA who walked me to the door of the hospital when I checked out the next afternoon. The ambulance driver was an acquaintance who used to keep his horse at the stable. The EMT who hooked me up to an ambulance IV and a heart machine apologized for his own wheezing as if his allergy to horses (activated by the horsiness of my clothing) was more inconvenient to me than it was to him. When an ambulance hauls a 57 year old woman with chest pains into a hospital, things happen fast. Preliminary tests determined that I was not having a heart attack, but the ER doctor told me he was concerned enough that he wanted me to stay overnight for observation and a stress test the next day. To make a long story short, subsequent tests determined that I have a fine healthy heart. The hospitalist discharged me with a caveat from my internist to make an appointment for next week to determine what had actually caused the attack. Suggestions ran the gamut from blood clot to esophageal spasm to panic attack. Panic attack? I didn’t feel panicked. There was that fat angst thing, but… surely not. How completely embarrassing would it be for fat angst to simulate a heart attack? Sitting now at home in front of my computer, I must relate something in which I take intense satisfaction: not once did any health professional lecture me on the health risks of obesity or relate my weight to the attack. To them I was simply a normal sized person who needed to spend a night on the heart floor. It’s time to make the same commitment to that normal sized person as I did to her hugely overweight sister two and a half years ago. She needs- no, I need to treat myself with patience, compassion, and firm kindness and go into this new phase of my journey with the same determination and hope with which I entered the initial phase. I am not fat, ohmmmmmmmmmm.

I had the total band revision done on Tuesday! I had to stay over night and have been home since Wednesday late morning. This surgery has not been so bad! I have already started my mushies! It is good to eat a little. My Realize band was totally defected and by that I mean that it had again detached itself from the tubing. I am going to have a fill on Wednesday already, trying to get me back on track with the weight loss. I am a bit nervous with the bad experience I have had in the past with the fills not working, but I am hopeful. I had gained 7 pounds from the IV fluids and I have also now lost the same 7 pounds. So if you get on the scale after surgery please do not be surprised by the gain it will just come off fast. Having now been through this surgery two full times and one port revision, I have to say this third time was very easy. Maybe because I knew what was coming next! I also just heard from another LB friend that she also just had her entire band replaced this last week due to leakage. I am not sure what brand of band she has! This is very interesting. I have been told by a lawyer that we have no recourse as long as we are healthy and it has not changed any of our normal life. This was all due to some court case that happened in 1974. It is the chance that we are taking by having a device implanted in our tummy's I guess. oh well, I am thankful to be alive and healthy! Three Cheers to Our LAP BANDS!!!! They do work well with loosing weight even though we may have to go through little glitches! :thumbup:

I think people on this forum may be the only ones excited to be "overweight". By that, I mean, my BMI has put me in the "obese" category for so long - I'm just over 1 point from being "overweight". I'm so happy right now, I set a goal to be at 205.0 by my next fill on July 16th and today I was 205.2. So close! Plus, I still have 12 days until my fill. I hit a plateau last week for about 6 days, and I started feeling those old feelings of "I'm never going to hit my goal, I'm just going to gain it all back, why can't I do this" but my husband just kept reassuring me that people hit plateaus and just be patient. About 4 days ago I started losing again. I've been in a good rhythm and have been losing 1/2 lb - 1 lb a day. How? I'm logging every single morsel I put in my mouth. I'm focused on protein first, then veggies and fruit. I'm drinking 80-120 ml of water a day. I'm taking all of my vitamins in the morning and making sure I get enough sleep. Most importantly, I'm exercising every day. I wear my FitBit and strive to hit my 10,000 steps and 15 flights of stairs a day. I either jog 2-4 miles outside, hit the treadmill and elliptical at home, or do the UFC Trainer with Kinect. My dream is to start some sort of kickboxing/MMA class when I get to my goal weight. I knew that lap band surgery would be a journey, a long one, and I wouldn't expect results too fast, but I've been pleasently suprised by the way my body is responding. I'm 6 weeks out and have lost 38 lbs. It feels SO good to be headed in the right direction. I'm going on vacation to Vegas in September and would love to be down to 180 lbs by then. Just have to keep up the hard work.

So one of the things I'm still working on figuring out nearly 8 weeks after banding is what foods are worth it for me to eat. This is a new equation in my life. Before banding, I just ate. Half the time I didn't think about what I was putting in my mouth (if I did, I would have lived in a state of perpetual self-disgust) and the other half, I just didn't care. I was already fat and unhealthy, so why stress about the food that was making me that way? Clearly, I was eating too many calories, but now I'm realizing that the amount of calories I was eating may have mattered less than whether those calories were worth eating. What I mean by that is that as I make better, more sensible food choices, it is becoming clearer to me that "real food" is much more satisfying than the alternatives. "Real food" is a hot topic these days. You can find whole books about it in your local bookstore, whole pages of books on the topic, if you cruise through Amazon. For my purposes, though, when I talk about real food, I'm referring to anything that isn't processed or prepackaged. Things like eggs (pasture raised, please), meat (ditto), milk (three for three), vegetables (organic, please), fruits (yuppers), and grains (certainly in the "o" column). To many, my obsession with organics and pasture-raised animals may make me a snob or a hippie, but I'm okay with that. Even before banding, I preferred to choose those foods when possible, but now I'm realizing that the alternatives aren't worth it. I try to keep my calories at somewhere around 1000/day. I say around, because there are days I eat 850 and days I eat 1400. Mostly, I average between 1000 and 1100. Before banding, I could get 1000 calories having coffee, a piece of toast, and a single fast food sandwich, and then everything else I ate that day would be those excess calories that made me fat. Theoretically, even with the band, I could still make those food choices, but now they're just not worth it to me. Today, I would say that most of that food isn't real food, and therefore, I'd rather not eat it. This morning, I had toast and coffee for breakfast. Not the bandster's first choice, perhaps, but I find I can't eat anything too rich or too heavy in the morning without severe nausea and potential for vomiting (I've always been that way, even before banding). The difference here is that the coffee was made with real raw sugar (half a teaspoon) and organic, pasture raised half-and-half. One tablespoon of that. For a total of 37 calories. The toast was a thin slice of home-baked bread (made last night from organic flour and natural ingredients) with a teaspoon of pasture raised butter. Low in protein, but I'll have meat for lunch and dinner, so I'll have no trouble meeting my protein goal for the day. So far for the day, I've had 137 calories, less than 15% of my allowance for the day, and every single one of those calories was totally worth it. They all tasted good, none of them cost the environment more than necessary, and all of them allowed me to live with my band while feeling content and satisfied. If I'd tweaked that just a little, gotten a small nonfat latte and a bagel with non-fat cream cheese from Starbucks, for example, I'd have eaten 500 calories of food that wasn't really worth it to me. Even if the band had stopped me at half the bagel, that would still have been 250 calories (113 more than I actually ate). It would have contained less fat, but also less satisfaction and it wouldn't have tasted as good. To me, the unprocessed "real food" I ate at home was a better, healthier choice and worked with my band. True, a lot of bandsters would tell me I should have had Greek yogurt instead. Or maybe a scrambled egg. There are days when I do that, but here's my confession: I love bread. Love it. It is my favorite of all foods. I adore it more than ice cream (meh) or potato chips (one of my trigger foods and a life-long addiction for me). Give me a choice between a handful of chocolate and a piece of fresh baked bread (home-made or from a real bakery) and I will go for the bread 9-1/2 times out of 10. My brother and sister-in-law are gluten intolerant, and have cut all products containing wheat out of their diets. I'd rather cut off my own arm. Seriously, I can't live without bread. Which could be a problem for a bandster, both because of the low protein/high carb nature of bread, and because the texture of bread can have trouble passing through the band. But here's the thing. "Real" bread (the kind from the bakery or from my very own oven) passes through the band pretty well. It has fiber and texture and it tastes so good, that it's worth it to me to take small bites, chew slowly, and get it through the band. Pre-sliced generic white sandwich bread? Not real food and definitely not worth it. Also lower in fiber, higher in sugar, stickier in texture, full of chemicals, AND higher in calories. Clearly the unhealthy choice. As a bandster, I have had to reshape my priorities. Homemade bread is a priority; processed, pre-sliced bread is not. It's all about priorities. And balance. For breakfast today, I had a carb-heavy, protein-light meal. For lunch, I will have a couple of slices of roast chicken (heritage breed, pasture raised) and some veggies. Or maybe a small serving a chili with pastured ground beef. The meat cost a lot more than the supermarket alternatives, but it was locally and sustainable raised and frankly, it tastes so much better that I don't feel deprived from eating only 2-3oz of it as a time. It's so full of flavor that 2oz feels more like a meal than 6oz or the alternative. For dinner, there's either the chicken or some leftovers from an organic rabbit I stewed over the weekend in red wine and prunes. And more veggies. So worth every single calorie and so, soooooooooo satisfying. One of the reasons I got the band and not another procedure like bypass was because I wanted to be able to eat and enjoy real food, I just wanted to eat less of it. I didn't want to give up my bread (obviously) or my chocolate or my steak. I wanted a smaller slice, nibble, or cut. I'm doing that with the help of the band, and because I'm choosing real food, I'm doing it with happy tastebuds and a smile on my face. ------ I hope no one interprets this as a lecture, or me claiming to be better than anyone else. My priorities are my own. I happen to live in an area where organic, pasture raised foods are easily accessible. They're sold at my local groceries and at the weekend farmer's market in my town, less than 5 miles from my house. I also only have myself to feed and worry about. I'm not trying to budget to feed myself, a husband and three kids, let alone saving for college, paying for daycare, or providing clothes to cover bodies that seem to double in size every few months. My animals and myself are the only things I have to spend my money on, so it's easy for me to justify funding my environmental and health agenda. Everyone has to do the best they can with what they have, and no one--least of all me--should fault them for it. Make your own priorities, and then live by them. I hope it brings you the same satisfaction it brings me.

Can't believe it's only been five days and I am twelve pounds lighter! The next pound I loose I will ve under 300 pounds, and I havent been under 300 lbs in at least ten years. I am thinking that I need to reavaluate my weight loss goals for the first month. I had originally planned to lose fifteen for the month. As I have already lost 12 pounds in 5 days. At this rate I will reach my weightloss goal of the month in a week. Now I am not complaining one little but, it's just I am shocked on how much weight has come off so fast! I would like to hear more about peoples first months of weight loss to get a better idea of realistic weight loss goals. Right now I am just cycling twice a day, and walking but am considering th 25k in 9 weeks program....any thoughts.

Hey loser, nice to see someone else similar to me. I have a 14cc band, currently at 9 and this fill was the first time I felt restriction. I am down 40, but I too have taken it slow because of my fear of PBing/vomiting. I have only had the "stuck" feeling once (on my last fill) because I was eating too fast. I have never gotten sick, but as you said, progress is slow but I am okay with that. I am hoping my next fill in 2 weeks will be a sweet spot for me and I will start to see some weight loss again. Good luck to everyone!

I can eat anything...I am starving and I cannot wait for my first fill! October 8th cannot come fast enough.

@@Cyncha21, sorry you're struggling right now, but at six years out, you KNOW how important positive attitude and personal accountability has been and will continue to be FOR LIFE. So, first and foremost--you are NOT a failure! And you will not go back into the 200's if you CHOOSE not to. At every moment, the choice is ALWAYS in our hands. I am four years out, and have to work at this every single day, sometimes even a single minute at a time! It takes a lot of mental work to let go of that old way of eating we've always done, and truly ACCEPT that my way of life now does not include those old unhealthy eating habits. Even though it can be HARD, wow, the rewards are sooo worth it! When I get "tired" and frustrated with the constant dedication it takes to make the right choices for my WLS life, sometimes I just have to have a real honest "reality check" chat with myself about my habits and lifestyle: (1) Have I slipped back to some of those old, familiar and comfortable (for me, lazy) eating habits (too many processed starchy carbs, too much fast food, not enough real food meals prepared at home, grazing all day, etc)? (2) Am I moving my body every day to get the exercise I need? (3) Am I keeping my stress under control? (That means am I taking good care of MY mental well-being!) (4) I have to remind myself that food is medicine and fuel for my body, and it wants to have food that keeps it healthy. All the junk I WANT to feed it does nothing to nourish my cells and keep my body systems running efficiently. (5) I remember back to "WHY" I decided to have surgery in the first place. It re-sparks that motivation. It sounds trite, but you DO have the POWER to get back on track. You have proven you are a survivor, made up of strong stuff, because here you are, six years later! Maybe you can find an in-person WLS support group through your medical team or local hospital? Sometimes that can be really helpful too. Be kind to yourself. You are so worth it. We WLSers are special people...

We all have had times where we felt the weight wasn't coming off fast enough, but just remember that your body is still adjusting to your new eating habits and the surgery. Also give yourself a pat on your back because you already took a big step with having the surgery now just keep pushing forward and follow your plan.

Another happy bandser post. I have not lost as much or as fast as I would like.....but I would'nt trade it. Are you glad you did this?

My big day is this Wednesday and I have not been able to fast. It's been really hard for me and I will tomorrow to prepare for surgery but I hope I'm not hurting myself? I did shakes in the morning and a meal at night, any feed back??

I have dieted 2/3rds of my life away! I have tried every diet out there and would lose about 10-20 lbs with a horrendous struggle. The only time weight ever came of nicely was with a very low calorie diet (600 per day). When I started to eat "normally" again the weight came back on VERY fast and then some. So depressing!

depends on the time of day for me as well. In the morning it's as if I have to wake my stomach up so I have to be very careful how much I take in and how fast. As the afternoon comes around and I've eaten, I'm able to take a couple sips together of cold Water and then wait a minute and be able to take more. It's so tricky....yesterday I did that and then by mistake took a good size sip and could feel it in my esophogus for a short time. Had to wait for it to go down.

I'm so happy for you congratulations and just so you know when I got approved for the lap band I was scheduled for surgery the following week it goes by so fast

Hi Everyone (I hope I have made my first post appropriately...I am Very longwinded, so please be forwarned! lol) I have been reading the boards for about a week now, and the before/after pictures have me bawling - it's absolutely AMAZING how well most of you have done!! My story: I've always been overweight, but didn't grow up obese. In the past 7 or so years, I have been responsible for going completely off the deep end, and have let myself go - to the tune of now weighing somewhere around 300 pounds. I hate myself. I can't believe I did this to myself, and to my family. I have a wonderful 3 year old and desperately want a second child, yet I still don't make the health changes I need to make in order to conceive again!? This is my biggest failure. I don't understand how I can want something SO badly, yet not do anything to get it. My hubby is supportive, but is totally along for the ride (usually leading the snack/junk food wagon). He's gained about 100 pounds, and I've gained about 140 pounds since we've been together. My patterns: I eat non-stop throughout the evening. Supper, then snack, then sandwich, etc. Sometimes I'll eat a sandwhich at 2 am right before going to bed! I've become completely lazy and inactive. I work in an office. I eat fast food several times a week, and snackfood (chips or something) several times a week. I have not been on a ton of diets, but have succeeded in the past at Weight Watchers a couple of times. My dilemma: I want to have a baby, but am unsure of what my body is currently capable of. We tried to conceive for well over a year, and just stopped a few months ago. I will be going to a fertility centre in about the next 4 weeks to 3 months, depending on when an appointment comes up. I presume they are going to tell me that I am too unhealthy and obese to conceive. I am soon to be 39 years old, and my biological clock is ticking away here. I am wondering if I should go ahead and get banded first, to help lose the weight, but then I am 40 before I can even start trying to conceive!? My Q's: Will the lapband likely be successful in someone like me? (compulsive overeater with ZERO self control). I see from posts that it's not an easy way out, and takes much determination. I'm not sure if i've got what it takes. What financial routes did those of you in Canada take? Was anyone in the same/similar boat as I am in? Did anyone do this secretly? If so, how did it go? (how did you hide it from coworkers during lunch hours etc). I am not at this point prepared to tell anyone except my hubby. I'm so sorry this turned into such a long-winded post... I guess I am looking for answers or inspiration anywhere I can find it. Like I said, I've been reading for days, and finally decided to take a step here towards something.. anything. Thank you if you've read this far!! I look forward to any replies.

YES it will...I was the same way. After you loose about 25 lbs. your energy level goes up. Plus it is a necessity to exercise. YOU HAVE TO! We all start out walking, then increase the intensity as you progress. Listen to spunky music that will keep you moving at a fast pace. Walk with a friend, do what ever it takes. The more you walk the better you feel and the easier it gets. After a while you look forward to it. I am at the Fittness center stage. I have a physcially demanding job, I'm on my feet all day, and walking, lifting, pulling etc. When I get off work I'm really tired. But I have to go to the fittness center because it's the ONLY time I have for exercise. Believe it or not, I feel BETTER after a work out. Monday Water aerobics, weight lifting, Tuesday treadmill and Zumba class (dance aerobics). Wednesday OFF, Thrusday light weight lifting, water aerobics, Friday 2 mile treadmill, Zumba class. Weekends off ! By the weekend your need a break from Work and Work outs. But It's working, I'm loosing inches, and weight slowly. But that is how I want to loose it, not fast, slowly and keep toned as much as I can. You can DO IT !!!

Issues, Issues, Issues. Food, I hate food, I love food. Food is the worst abusive boyfriend I have ever had. Albeit the longest boyfriend I have ever had. My band is tight, I have GOOD RESTRICTION. I can’t stop myself from eating until the food is gone, or until I am uncomfortable. If it’s in front of me, I have to eat it. I have resolved that I should get the food away from my face whist I am trying to make this change. In order to do that, I do a variety of things. If I am eating at my desk at work, and there’s more food than I should eat, I pour water or tea over the remaining food, and throw it away (don’t ask, yes, I have to ruin it before I throw it away). When I first had my band, I didn’t have these issues, I wasn’t tight enough to have them, I could eat however I liked, and I didn’t lose a lot of weight. I still haven’t lost a lot of weight, but I am trying my hardest to make the best choices when it comes to food. Since the tightening of the band, (I am now at 5.7 CC in a 10 CC AP band) I have started drinking. A lot. Like, every night, and if I don’t drink every night, I am thinking about drinking every night. Drinking has caused me to make some very stupid mistakes, and hurt myself even further. I don’t understand, is it not knowing your self worth that makes you want to hurt yourself, why do we sabotage ourselves? I just want to be free of all these addictions, and be able to breathe again. I can’t quit smoking, I can’t quit eating, I can’t quit any of it. Sometimes, I wish I could just go on disability and live in a nut house for a few weeks to help myself center again. I feel an emotional distance from God, from my family, from my friends. I make incredibly stupid choices sometimes. I feel out of control. Its strange, to honestly consider joining one of these programs to get your life straight. Having said that, I do have a good job with good insurance and an understanding boss. I have all of those things. If I feel like its necessary, why don’t I JUST DO IT. Mostly because of the social stigma, maybe it’s that it will make me feel like a failure. I don’t want to drink anymore. Sometimes, I think, okay, maybe I just need some talk therapy, sometimes, I think, okay, maybe I should detox my body and go on a 30 day juice fast to connect with God. Sometimes I think I just lack will power and I need to knuckle up and deal with it. The fact is that I NEED help, and that’s the most important thing. I guess today I will be making an appointment with a talk therapist. Maybe I just need to go to the freaking support group meetings that the WLS clinic offers. Christ, I feel completely confused and totally out of my element.

Thanks, Beachbunny! I see your surgery was fast tracked! I hope mine is. I'll know more on Wednesday after my initial visit.

If I were you, I'd start tracking your calories all the time. It's the only way you can be sure you're not going over your daily calorie allowance. If your doctor says you're tight enough, I'd take a step back and try to evaluate how you're feeling. For instance, are you truly hungry or is it head hunger? How long can you go without physical hunger? Also keep food can't go through the band too fast. It passes through in about a minute and should never be sitting above it digesting. If it doesn't pass through in a minute or less, you run a risk of pouch dilation and erosion. Remember, the band isn't supposed to physically stop you from eating and if you're eating until you're full you're likely eating too much. The band is there to keep you satisfied on less food for longer periods of time. Here's a link I think may help too: http://drsimpson.net/fills/Lap-band-eating/lap-band-not-restriction/lap-band-and-restriction.html

The week before surgery I purposely scheduled a family vacation to keep my mind off of the upcoming surgery. I'm glad I did because I was starting to think to myself what in the world are you doing? I worked for a year to get approved. : ) As I went into surgery I actually started to freak out a bit and started to cry. They put me under super quick because I was becoming anxious. lol. sooooooo I think the week ahead is a difficult one but good for really wrapping your head around what it is you are doing. the first week after i was still asking myself what in the world had i done to myself? energy was low. i was light headed and had a hard time going on those little walks. almost passed out the first few days. tried to go the grocery store and wasn't going to make it through the first aisle. went in those fun little carts and then got the grocery shopping done with hubby. lol. I was on full liquid diet two weeks prior to surgery and clear liquid 2 days prior to surgery. In the hospital on the 2nd day post I was given Water. then Clear liquids. SIP SIP SIP and there is no pain. or at least there was no pain for me with nutrition. i got tired of the clear liquids quickly. i think i had them for one week and then transitioned into full liquids. Trader Joe Soups made this phase a breeze. 2nd week post op i started to feel normal again and was able to get into the exercise. towards the end of the second week i got back on a bike. : ) pain wise I've been really surprised as i have had very very little. the only time i've used the pain meds is at night to make sure i get a good night sleep. 3rd week post op. almost normal!!! i've been back to work on my feet for a couple of days with eight hours on my feet and survived. Isopure clear liquid drinks seem to help the most with feeling like i'm well nourished. its something like 40 grams of protein(!) in a bottle and only 150 calories. I've started the soft foods and again, I'm thankful that I do still enjoy food but don't eat much of it. I'm satisfied very easily. Finally at this point I feel like it was a very good decision to have done this. the weight is falling off like crazy. i do exactly what the doctor says with the amount of food to eat, the Vitamins, the Protein, the exercise. At my two week weigh in i had lost 13 pounds from surgery day (with clothes on) so probably even another pound or two. crazy. at three weeks i've lost 22 pounds since surgery day. i didn't even know it was possible to lose that much weight so fast. hope this helps. : )

Thank you for your fast reply. Thank you for the tips, this is the first place I checked, I need to do alot more research for sure. This just is a great place to start because I get first hand tips from people that has done it already, such as yourself. I appreciate that! I think since i am in Canada they pay for this procedure with a doctors note, I saw it stated on the Government site, that OHIP(canada benefits) covers, so I guess I am lucky in that field. You had it done 7 months ago, how do you like the new lifestyle change? Your new stomach? Do you ever get pain? How much have you lost so far? Yes your right, not a quick fix, I am a binge eatter, so thought this will help me not eat too much. I eat emotionally.... I have lost 80lbs, after each pregnancy except this one! For some reason the 4th baby weight is hard to get off. I am currently a size 18. I wonder if I qualify for this... should I be bigger to do this surgery?? Thanks again