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Hi all, I'm eight days out of my VSG surgery with Dr. Aceves in Mexicali and wanted to share my experience with anyone still trying to make the decision. I had questioned on these boards if he was really worth the extra money and let me say, without reservation, that he and his staff is worth every penny! I'm sorry this is so long - I tried to keep it brief but failed miserably. Day 1-2 pre-surgery: Of course the day before my flight out I had to work til 9pm, because I had to be up by 4am the next day to get to the airport. Nothing like starting out a long trip tired! Total travel time from my residence to San Diego was 24 hours, since I got delayed in LA. Ernesto was waiting to pick me up, along with my mom who met me in SD and another patient and her friend. They were gracious about having to wait the extra hour for me. I'd only slept about 20-30 minutes total on all those flights so I was super tired and wired. Drive to Mexicali took about 2.5 hours. We were met by Karla, an assistant, who walked us through our pre-op tests before meeting Dr. Aceves, Dr. Campos, and the anesthesiologist (by this time I'd been over 30 hours with no sleep so I can't remember his name but he was super nice.) First impressions of the hospital and especially the doctors was extremely good. Even so, due to lack of sleep and an 18 hour time change, I started doubting if I wanted to go through with it. Dr. Aceves and Campos spoke to us in length, answering every question we had. Dr. Aceves has THE BEST bedside manner and comes across as one of the most sincere, genuine, and compassionate people I've met. I immediately felt comfortable with him. Finally we were taken to our hotel about 15 minutes away, which is lovely. Mom and I set out to find carne asada tacos that I remembered from my time on the border and found a local hole in the wall joint that served amazing food!!! I savored every bite of my dinner. I didn't drink, even though Dr. A okayed 2 drinks, as between the lack of sleep and jet lag I figured it might give me a migraine. Surgery Day Thanks to jet lag I slept about 4 hours the night before surgery. I didn't really feel nervous except I really wanted to poop before it was my turn to go in. TMI, I know, but it's true! I was scheduled for 9 am. The shuttle was late picking us up so we got to the hospital about 30 minutes late. Karla was frantic since we still had to do our EKG and X-rays (we were too late the day before to finish). I changed into a gown, went poop (thank god!!), had a quick chat with Dr. Aceves, Dr. Campos, the anesthesiologist, and then the internal doc. All looked good so they loaded me on a gurney, put in an IV, and took me away. I still wasn't nervous; I think the whole thing just felt too surreal to process. When we arrived in the OR, I remember scooting to a different bed, and the anesthesiologist asking me if I wanted a pillow. I told him "I don't know" and he started saying something about how if I didn't know, I probably didn't need one, ha ha. Two seconds later I was waking up and it was done! I had a hard time waking up (remember the major lack of sleep) but I remember feeling nauseous and I did throw up once, right after telling them I was going to. No mess, no big deal. The rest of the day is a blur. All I remember is that sleeping felt SO GOOD! I pretty much drifted in and out all day. I think I only got up to pee once, in the middle of the night. Dr. Aceves and Dr. Campos each checked on me twice that day/evening. Day 1 Post Surgery I felt some pain in my abdomen but not much, as I was pretty drugged up. I slept A LOT that day. Nurses were very attentive and friendly. The docs came by to visit several times each. I got up to walk a couple of times and peed maybe twice all day/night. I thought it was weird I never had to go! I had a hard time sleeping that night, partly due to some pain (that was quickly administered to) and partly from the time change. Plus my stupid machine I was attached to kept beeping and waking me up. Grrr... Oh yeah, I drank the yucky blue liquid and was cleared for no leaks. I asked for crushed ice to numb my taste buds so I could choke the stuff down. It was nasty! After that I was given juice and Gatorade. It was really tough to try to drink and I had no desire whatsoever. Sip. Sip. Sip. Had a shower and changed into a fresh gown. I wasn't ready for PJs yet. I got a second sleeping pill midway through the night to help me sleep. The pain in my stomach started to increase and I was really uncomfortable. Day 2 Post Surgery I passed the barium swallow test and saw my new stomach. Holy cow, it's small! I was unhooked from the stupid beeping machine so Mom and I got outside a few times and walked around a few blocks. I was pretty slow and really had to force myself to stand up straight. My stomach felt like I'd been run over by a car. More walking, sipping, walking, sipping. Got into my PJs after a shower. Gas pains started. Ugh. I was so tired and slept a lot. There were other patients that had the surgery a day before me and they were all perky and looked like they felt great. I asked Dr. Aceves what was wrong with me since I still had pain and didn't feel perky AT ALL. He was very clear that I shouldn't compare myself to anyone else, as we're all different. I was freaking out that I was supposed to fly home in a few days - there was NO way I'd be fit to travel so fast! What were they thinking letting people check out after 3 days!?! I tend to act tough when I'm not but the gas pains got kinda bad that day and even though I could go outside and walk around, it was pretty uncomfortable. I think I was expecting a walk in the park. I was wrong. At one point I started crying and Dr. Aceves got more meds into me fast. He and Karla admonished me to not let the pain get too bad before saying something. They assured me the pain would reside once I got the drain removed. I was SO SO SO glad to still be in the hospital. I didn't feel regret but I did feel mad at myself for being in this situation - ie, getting so fat in the first place. (A few hours later I started my period so at least then I knew why I was being such a big baby.) Young Dr. Aceves (daughter of the great Dr. Aceves) took out my drain. I took a nap and woke up feeling much better. I had to get a second sleeping pill again this night. I was so thankful for the round the clock care I was getting. Day 3 Post Surgery - Checking out I finally got the IV out of my hand which was a relief. I woke up early, showered and felt great. Then after a couple of hours I was ready for my nap. The pain in my stomach was much duller. I was able to sip the juice, Gatorade and broth with no problem, but very little amounts. I got outside and walked around a few blocks, went to the pharmacy with my mom, and sipped some more. Even though it was Sunday, Dr. Aceves and Dr. Campos were there, checking on everyone. Dr. Aceves wanted me to stay at the hospital until after lunch, as he knew how concerned I was about my long trip home in a few days. He reassured me and separately talked to my mom, telling her that I was doing great and would have nothing to worry about. At 1pm, Karla packed up some broth, juice, and Gatorade, and Ernesto whisked us away to the hotel, all of my medical records, DVDs of X-rays and my new stomach in a folder provided by Karla. I went out by the pool, poured myself into a lounge chair, and napped for about 2 hours. Glorious! Mom and I walked around a good deal that night, finding her some good food. I was able to walk comfortably, standing straight. Day 4 Post Surgery - Mexicali to San Diego Ernesto drove us to San Diego at 7am. It took about 3 hours with the border wait. Karla had reserved us a room for the next two nights. These people are so well organized and are there for us every step of the way! We took a short walk, I napped for a couple hours, then later we walked a good distance to find my mom dinner. I was starting to feel really good. I ordered broth and was able to eat a small amount with no problem. I'm a stomach sleeper and was finally able to sleep on my stomach with little discomfort. YAY! Day 5 Post Surgery Mom went home today so I was alone in SD. I woke up early to see her off then took a nap. I walked down to my former favorite Thai restaurant and scored some excellent broth. I felt really good and surprised that the pain just kept fading so fast. I took it easy that day, napping, reading, watching TV, walking a bit here and there. I felt really confident about flying home. Day 6 Post Surgery During my "2nd Day after Surgery Freakout" I upgraded my flight home to first class, thus rerouting me through my home town for 24 hours and breaking up my long trip. Score! I woke up again amazed at how much better I felt than even the day before. Fluids went down no problem. I got to see my family for a few hours that night. No one suspected I'd just had surgery. Day 7 and 8 Post Surgery I ran a few errands with my mom on the way to the airport. My mom was surprised at how perky and energetic I was. I was feeling great! I was able to sleep for a solid 2 hours on the 11 hour flight, thanks to my flat-bed seat. Got a massage at the Tokyo airport during my layover and walked around as much as possible. Slept for another 2 hours on the next flight. I arrived home at about 2:30 this morning and slept til nearly 7am. Took my doggies for a 2 mile/45 minute walk and unpacked. I'm tired and want a nap but am holding off for an early bedtime to try to re-adjust to the time change. I feel really great, no pain in my stomach, just a little mild discomfort. OK, how would I rate Dr. Aceves? 10/10. I cannot rave about this man enough. Really. Staff, including other doctors, the nurses, and patient coordinators? 10/10. Transportation and lodging? 10/10 If anyone has any questions about Dr. Aceves or my experience, please message me. Sorry for the long post!

I am a nurse manager. I told only my close fellow mangers and my assistant directors. I told my CNO who is my direct report. I know my staff will figure it out but I don't want my weight to be the topic of conversation at the nurse station everyday. I think we all have enough to gossip about and give our opinion on - we don't need any other distractions. Managers are not legally allowed to ask what kind of surgery but only if you'll have restrictions. It's a very personal journey that requires good support. I have pretty tough battle armor but I still don't want to get into "how much have you lost, what do you eat, do you cheat, are you hungry, what if it doesn't work, you know so and so gained all theirs back, how much skin will you have?" That's all TMI in my opinion. Good luck to all of you! As a manager, I'd be extremely supportive of an employee who wanted to do this. I did the bedside for 14 years. I went into management partly because my obesity, being in my forties, I just didn't know how I was physically going to be able to do it. I'm down 45 (pre and post) and my knees and feet are already so much better! Best wishes for those of you just starting out!!!

Crazy Janey - your estrogen theory may be something! I rarely have a period, maybe once every 5-6 months, lasts only 1 day and very, very light. The first night I couldn't sleep happened to be the day I started my period! I even commented to my friend that I was bleeding like I did as a teenager - sorry TMI. I go for my 1 week post-op tomorrow so I will inquire for all us non-sleeping estrogen ridden sleevers!! Thanks for all your comments

For Denise since she asked.. might be TMI for most of you.... I went through meno when I was obese. The fat apparently kept most symptoms at bay - i didn't get vaginal dryness until after I lost weight, in fact I had the opposite problem of too much moisture. I only had maybe 1-2 hotflashes EVER but of course i have sleep issues etc so who knows what is meno related and what isn't. I wasn't having sex (my EX gave up on sex sometime around 2006-2008 timeframe) so didn't notice it until last year - first when horseback riding and my exposed parts got tender in a way they never had before and then later when I resumed having sex. At first it was okay, then got a bit sore afterwards (no bleeding or anything) even using a gel. I started on premarin but didn't like it. Then I intermittantly used a bio-identical (a small amount a few times a week) but I am unclear how or if it is helping. I recently switched formulations to a different bioidentical that I insert 3 times a week now and apply a progesterin cream to my body somewhere to help with the sleep issues. My doctor says my vaginal tissue is very healthy, but I find it gets annoyingly dry still. Not to be too graphic, but the lubricant needs to be re-applied during and since I was never like that before I find it disconcerting. One advantage of an older lover is that he familiar with it - no big deal to him but it bothers me that my body simply does not respond the way it should! What really bothers me is that once moist/wet it drys out immediately... I cannot make sense of that... almost like it absorbs the lubricant or something. Anyway, I sometimes long for my 30s which was by far the peak of my physical sexual enjoyment. I think NOW is the peak of my "mental" sexual enjoyment as I seriously feel great for days after... the whole afterglow of endorphins I guess. Sadly, I missed out on most of my 40s due to my EX giving up on sex. So that is probably TMI...LOL

Ok. Update. After I posted this.... TMI Alert.... I had a poop and even though I weighed Monday. I decided to weigh again. Lost .9 Monday. And down another 1.1 today. So. I am celebrating a total of 2 lbs down this week. Feeling much better by the way I am 5'6". And 45 years old yesterday. Yay me:)

Update On My Revision I Needed/had this Past Tuesday: Sorry for the delay, hospital stay was a tad longer then expected and haven't felt in tip top shape at all. I had my revision done on Tuesday. I am still a sleeve patient, once they got in they ended up 'anchoring' the sleeve and adjusting it. Sorry, things have been pretty hectic. I got home from hospital, and am slowly but surely recovering. The pain is worse then what I expected, but manageable with the happy pills they have given me, and they have given me permission to take them closer together do to the pain. I did have to have a balloon cath done on I believe day two (I'm a bit foggy, not sure exactly what day it was). It was a long drawn out process and they had to get 800, which took a lot of tugging, yanking, twisting, pulling, time and so on, tmi I know sorry, but I now have a very bad UTI to add on top on my revision. Because of my Lupus I am placed at higher risk for infection, and this of course happened. I'm doing okay though and sorry I haven't updated, just been hectic with recently getting home from hospital and testing and taking it easy. They had me released with a walker because I'm a bit unstable,and feel a tad fragile, but so glad to just be home.I am slowly but surely getting better though. Patience is a virtue :-) The revision I had is not compare able pain wise to when I got the sleeve, as this revision is very painful and I really did not expect it to be this bad. I am down over 110 pounds since my surgery date of October 7, 2013 and that's encouragement enough for me :-) No regrets what so ever! Everyone is doing awesome, keep up the good work and thanks a lot of all the thoughtful comments, thoughts and prayers.

Sorry, things have been pretty hectic. I got home from hospital, and am slowly but surely recovering. The pain is worse then what I expected, but manageable with the happy pills they have given me, and they have given me permission to take them closer together do to the pain. I did have to have a balloon cath done on I believe day two (I'm a bit foggy, not sure exactly what day it was). It was a long drawn out process and they had to get 800, which took a lot of tugging, yanking, twisting, pulling, time and so on, tmi I know sorry, but I now have a very bad UTI to add on top on my revision. Because of my Lupus I am placed at higher risk for infection, and this of course happened. I'm doing okay though and sorry I haven't updated, just been hectic with recently getting home from hospital and testing and taking it easy. They had me released with a walker because I'm more unstable then usual, a bit weak, and feel a tad fragile. I am slowly but surely getting better though. Patience is a virtue :-)

Man, you dudes are clueless - and I say that in the nicest way possible! To those who think you should sing the praises of WLS from the highest mountain, did you ever think people get tired of hearing ALL about it? I don't care what others do but think about how others perceive you. I had a coworker get a RNY about 8 years ago. She went on and on and on and on about it for months! People were so sick of hearing about it. She didn't have a lot of family so maybe she needed people to listen. But trust me, it was TMI! And why do you think they put HIPPA laws into action? It's called privacy and it's a basic rite in healthcare. For those of us who work in healthcare, we are a snarky bunch. I choose to not cause a general distraction and keep them occupied with gossip. My closet inner circle knows. I have zero intention of answering questions about my weight or listening to acquaintances opinions on WLS. Give her a break for not telling people! It's her damn rite! I think many have misread the OP comments that this isn't a best friend anymore. You don't have to take out a sign on the interstate telling everyone nor is everyone entitled to a full disclosure about your life just because you were friends once. Lordy! This thread sure brought out some opinions!

It's strange.....mine was green and runny...I think body detox.....3 weeks out and it's solid but still green...might also be vitamins. TMI....lol

Got sleeved Friday and so far so good. Friday was pretty hard but that was because of being nauseated. Today I am in a little bit of a heart burn/gas pain but the gas x helps. What I thought was gas turned out to be unfortunately tar like #2. (tmi) I know but its the truth. I hope everyday things get better. Now to rest, relax, and start to get back to being me. Good luck everyone...

I I got sleeved march 18th and finally was able to go to the bathroom yesterday. Now today I been up for maybe three hours and I've gone 4 times already ( diarrhea) is this normal? And if so why is this happening?

So, I have a tmi question... has anyone ever had white poop? Or heard of it happening?

So here goes a TMI question. I have been due for my period but I assumed because of surgery, things would get thrown off a good bit. For the last couple days, ive been experiencing little clots and a very minimal amount of blood. But it is extremely dark brown, almost black. I know dark blood usually = old blood. But has anyone else experienced anything like this? Should it be something I should bring up to my doctor or do you think it's just my body's way of trying to be normal in a not so normal time?

Update... so I have been really pushing the water HARD this week, which is making it much harder to eat, but I'm getting in 9 glasses (72oz) approximately plus a protein drink. And instead of only going pee one in the am and once at night I have added one more in the afternoon. .. I know tmi... so, I guess the trick is to find balance. Fyi I started using a straw months ago and that dramatically increase my intake and I actually have less burping and gas using a straw. Thanks for your help everyone!

Good advice Kb88, I had my surgery on 12/26/14 & I did read LOTS & it helped to know what to expect. The pillow from home was a HUGE help, not just for comfort sleeping, but to hold when you cough, and you will cough a lot after surgery. That's how your body gets the anesthetic out of your system. It HURTS, but gets better after a couple days. You will be sore & tired. My doc (Dr. Daniel Fang) told me to expect to be tired for a couple of months & he was right. Your body needs recovery time from surgery, even though it was endoscopic, they still move a LOT of stuff around in there & of course remove most of your stomach, so be prepared to be tired for a while. This sounds crazy, but also think about when you go to the bathroom, which hand do you use to wipe? The incisions make it very hard to um, reach, so wet wipes are a MUST. I was even told to get a kitchen utensil to help extend my reach, like tongs or something, and I have to say, I did have to do that right after surgery. I know, TMI, but hey! I had really bad gas pains, in my left shoulder blade area of all places, but again my Doc warned it would happen. It feels really painful, like a sprain or something, but goes away in a few days. I took Gas-X to help, but the best thing is walking as much as you can. There are a lot of video blogs on YouTube, just search Gastric Sleeve. Get used to drinking LOTS of Water now, get into the habit of sipping it all day, not just waiting until you're thirsty then gulping it down because you won't be able to do that anymore. If you want to message me privately I'd be happy to share my experiences, I obviously have no brain/mouth filter, so I'll tell you anything you want to know that I know!

Heya all! So sorry about being quiet. So much stuff happening! Firstly, we had a public holiday today, yay! We are in Johannesburg for the long weekend - one of my university friends is turning 30. Our country is totally up in arms about our paralympian Oscar Pistorius who killed his girlfriend - thinking she was an intruder. Shot her through the toilet door. Everybody is freaking out. With the first time ever a court case being televised. You have never seen such mayhem, wherever you go you hear people talking about it. Our crazy southafricans! Also, my partner and i bought a house! First time ever! Extremely excited but also nervous as hell. We are moving in the end of May. It's 10 minutes from the beach and now we can get a dog, yay! Have been having some health issues lately. I have either an ulcer or gallstones. Contacted my surgeon's office and i need to go in for an endoscopy on 7 april. I think it might be an ulcer though. Constant burning sensation right in the middle below my boobs... Really horrible. And when i sometimes eat or drink tea, then i get terrible cramps and have to go to the loo. TMI, but my tummy is runny and yucky. Ofcourse my surgeon's assistant emailed me saying that Doc is asking whether i still smoke... ???? Of course i still do, as this i see as my coping meghanism currently - you know about the hectic paychological problems i have been having. Working through major issues. I dont overeat or drink alcohol at all - i smoke. I know know know it is bad and i really want to quit in the near future, but i know if i am dead honest i wont be able to do it now. I will go off my handle. Of course if i am having a stomach ulcer as i am suspecting i know how terrible smoking is for that. So i have cut down a lot on it. But i am preparing myself for a serious crapp-out session awaiting me on 7 april... Oi vey! My weight has been standing still for months now almost ;-( But i havent been diligent with exercises and also meal planning. I basically eat the same things over and over - quite boring. Dont think i've been getting enough protein in. I am upset with myself yeah. But i am also learning to be kinder to myself. So i will be getting back on the wagon diligently doing everything i should and working out menus and such. And get on with those damn exercises! I really hoped i would get addicted to it and have the high as some people report - but this has yet to happen ???? At least i am not gaining. Ok time for bed for me almost 1:30 in the morning over here! Hope you are all well, my dear friends! xxx

Today marks 2 weeks exactly for me!!! I am down 20 lbs, I get to take a bath finally and....I finally had a normal BM (tmi I know but I was thrilled lol) we got this Marchers!!

Ok, this may seem like too much information, but I need to know if I'm the only one.... While on the two week preop liquid diet, I was in the bathroom at least once every 45-60 minutes to empty my bladder. I'm now 8 days post op, taking in 60+ ounces of fluids the same as before surgery, and I'm lucky to visit the bathroom 4 times a day. When I do go, it's not much. Is this normal with anyone else?

Hi Guys! My kids just left for school so I can try and take in some fluid. I woke up every 3 hours to use the bathroom, I feel bloated still like I'm pregnant and had my first BM sorry if its TMI IT Sure wasn't solid, my body is still gassy. I have no desire to "eat" but the smell of food makes me sick, my four year old doesn't understand any of it and my two year old is obsessed with my incisions. Ill see how today goes, but I feel better already. this wasn't easy but I have to look further than right now...

To have people open doors for me. To laugh again. To wear the clothes I've bought over the years that I knew wouldn't fit but thought were cute. To not ask my fiance if he has clothes I can wear. To have the desire for sex again and not have heartburn while doing it( if tmi I'm sorry). To have the energy to play with my grand babies...

Had surgery tuesday should be going home today. Did great on the pain pump and starting to adjust to the vicodin. No appetitie forced myself to eat an ounce of jello and some apple juice walking helps they told me they would furnish my klonopin which they havent so have a killer headache plus diahrea i know tmi. Probably have popsicle and ice tea for breakfast. Really ready to go home. All in all not near as bad as i thouhgt it would be.

I know what you mean about going back to old habits. Old habits and cravings can be a real b*tch! When I can't resist a food, I can limit how much I eat. For example, yesterday we had a baby shower at work and I wanted a piece of cake soooo bad. Instead of going without or giving in completely, I got a 6oz styrofoam cup and filled it 1/2 full with cake, ate it and then filled myself up on Protein. That way I did get to taste the the cake, but I didn't go too far off my diet. You might try another method I use. My mom always tries to send food home with me and rather than disappoint her by refusing, I take it, then throw it away. And by throw it away, I mean open the container and dump it in the ditch. I'm too tempted to take it back out of the trash can if I leave the food in the container. I know, TMI. :-P You might try getting back on track by throwing 1/2 the happy meal away. Good luck,

Five weeks out today. Now down 16 pounds post op, 10 pre, 26 total. Nutrition has been good. What I'm finding more challenging are the vits/meds or at least the timing of them. Have to get that down before heading back to work next week. New lunch tote landed and freezer packs so I'm ready to haul everything daily so it's at my fingertips. The other challenge this past week was painful. Possible TMI. Early last week started a painful constipation episode which further agitated a chronic hemorrhoid issue. There was a lot of stabbing pain, bleeding, overall discomfort. Ick! Started taking miralax and stool softeners. 4 days laters things resolved, but OMG I will not slack off softeners for a while. Exercise is another issue. I'm really enjoying working on chores around the house with my new energy, but am not being good about exercise specifically. This is something I must work on. I can tell as time goes on this becomes a bigger mental game in order to keep from slipping into lazy habits such as not tracking or not exercising. I'm okay with the tracking, but the lack of formal exercise shows me I've already slacked off a bit on the post-op plan. This week will be all about reeling back in so I go back to work with my head on straight.

I have terrible sinus issues year round. I have found that eating is difficult when I am really "snotty"! Anybody else have these issues??? I know...TMI!

I have my surgery back in September – while I've stopped losing weight – mostly because of my lack of moving around these days... (Other health issues/ disabled.) For the past couple of months, I have had trouble eating- even if I have tuna/chicken salad, Soup, and other soft items.. On top of having problems eating, my stomach is no for the lack of a better word seizing up.. I realize the stomach is a muscle, but even if I chew it up completely, take time, and eat soft foods, my stomach starts spasming but, it's thousand so much where it feels like… I'm not sure how to describe it but, the spasms so bad that it takes my breath away and very painful. But when it spazzes, it's almost like it's seizing up – it doesn't go away immediately each time it "spasms", it'll last for a good while. Part of my problem also is that with me not feeling well, time gets away from me and I do forget to eat – I don't know that's it contribute factor not but, i'll send out but I'm not getting enough Protein. It's like, my stomachs going into shock when I finally eat. I've been making a real effort the passion days to try earlier and I know I really need to work on getting more protein in my diet because if I'm only eating wants, the most protein I'm getting is maybe 20 g a day… I know that's not good either but, I plan to just at least have a shake or something like that at least once a day and then have a light meal. There are times when I'm lucky if I can get a couple spoons of chicken salad or tuna salad in me.. I'm not eating bread or Pasta or any carbs and that nature… But, I've been getting really nauseous – more than normal as well. Their times it's so painful that it takes my breath away and then I started getting clammy and feel like I'm going to vomit. So sorry, not trying to give tmi but I'm not quite sure how to word it. Is/has anyone else going through anything like this? The doctor did run a test on the a month or so go where they had a drink I think a little bit of barium and they watched it go down my throat and into my stomach because I was having problems swallowing/things going down… It felt like my esophagus was full and the food wasn't going down… The barium and went down without problems but even drinking Water Stomach just feels like they get stuck either my throat or in my "stomach"… now my stomach seizing up... Causing lots of problems.. Any suggestions, ideas or feedback would be greatly appreciated. I'm not sure how to describe what I'm experiencing.