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Claramae, I have been in AA for the last 20 years. My brother and uncle are also in recovery. My mother and father both died of Alcoholism. Do not blame yourself. Nothing can make your daughter get help till SHE wants it. It is sad but it is true. When she yells at you on the phone, HANG UP. It is the best thing you can do for her. Let her know her drunken behavior is not acceptable to you. An active alcoholic knows no limits ,so you have to set yours as to what you will and will not put up with.I hope someday your daughter gets help. But it is not your fault. Donna
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My Mom died of alcoholism. I did everything I could. I petitioned her to force her into treatment (you can lead a horse to Water and all that happy crap), I went to AA meetings with her, I begged, I pleaded... nada. To be really blunt and honest, I finally got to the point that I knew she would die of alcoholism and I did what I could for me. I did everything I could for her so that when she did die, I could at least say there was no stone unturned. I did it all. I know, not very encouraging but quite frankly, it's true. An alcoholic has to come to terms with themselves and there isn't a bloody thing you can do to speed up that process. We have food, they have alcohol. Is there anything anyone did or said that made a difference to you before you were ready to change your life? Not darned likely. Hang in there, it's no easy task.
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I, too am a mother of an alcoholic. He's been sober now for 3 years, and finally appears to be on the road,, but we all know it just takes one. He was lucky enough to have a good judge when he had his 2nd DUI and she sent him to rehab for a month. Costly for him, but even he was grateful. Although I didn't go to AlAnon, it is supportive. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!!!! Hugs to you.
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alanon meetings can give you the tools and wisdom to deal with alcoholics... i highly recommend you attend, for your sake and your own sanity. the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. but the result is always the same when dealing with drunks. disapointment and broken boundries.......i personally wont have anything to do with an alcoholic that is not in recovery for at least 3 or 4 years............ even then im cautious. take care of yourself and get help for you. we cant change others......hope your fill goes well. im getting a fill this weekend......... hate the needle but love the results.....
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My grandfather used to make liquor and the bulk of any alcohol is sugar. Not a professional but is drinking alcohol customary? I have a friend that goes out sometimes and drinks ice Water but tells people its vodka if they ask to keep the peer pressure down...lol Sent from my Nexus S 4G using RNYTalk
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First plane trip since WLS: a NSV and an ouch!
Djmohr replied to butterfly23's topic in Rants & Raves
@@butterfly23 Yes I would be thankful nothing rude was said vs. nothing at all. My nlaws always say the wrong thing. I have a sister n law who was heavy as a child then as a young adult began with drugs and alcohol. She lost all of her weight and even more than she should. I have know her for 30 years now and never knew her as heavy. Yes, she is still heavily addicted to drugs and alcohol and barely eats anything. She has now become a type 1 diabetic because she basically damaged her pancreas. She is 5'7" and if she weighs 100lbs I would be shocked. Anyway, about 6 months after my surgery which she knew I had, she saw me and informed me that I was loosing way too much weight and I looked sickly thin. I still weighed over 200lbs at the time. I knew she was scared I might become thinner than her and that was her real motive. I have not seen her since August, I have lost quite a bit of weight since then and am 7lbs from goal. I don't look forward to the next time I see her because I am certain rudeness will come shooting out of her mouth. My mother n law would usually make comments about both my weight and my husbands and she was obese herself. It's just strange how people think it is ok to say whatever they want. Be glad......and congratulations on your progress! -
Checking Myself And Recommitting To My Goals
zil commented on SlimAmbitions's blog entry in SlimAmbitions' Blog
Great Post Slimambitions!. I am there with you all the way. I was banded 8/19/2011 with a starting weight before my pre-op of 297...I went to the dr on Monday and was 245. The dr was very happy, and said I had surpassed my 6 month goal (I did not know I had one). I truly believe each and everyone of us have had issues similar to yours and we must continually re-dedicate ourselves to the task at hand. I agree with BRD, our eating issues are similar to an alcoholic,but with food. I have never had any self-control, but the band is my greatest support, because it reminds me every day of what I need to be doing, SLIM, BRD, CRYSAL AND JULIANA, WE CAN AND WILL DO THIS. we will support each other every step of the way. I am proud of all of us!!!! BEST OF LUCK -
I thought I read that you would become intoxicated faster with the sleeve due to how the alcohol is absobed in the stomach. wrong?
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I'm sooo hungry.. or HANGRY
MarinaGirl replied to Alexandrya's topic in POST-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
I'm almost 4 weeks post Bypass and have not been experiencing any hunger issues, just the opposite actually. Months before surgery I gave up many things (e.g. alcohol, sweets, carbonated beverages, processed food...), which was difficult for the first few weeks but it helped curb cravings and start weight loss. This may be why post- surgery has been fairly easy thus far for me. Suggestions on "hunger" are to make sure you're getting enough fluids in each day and to take PPIs for a period of time after surgery (work with doc on exact dosage and timeframe). Good luck! -
So rude! My night nurse after surgery made a comment that I wasn't that big. I just told her that it was a decision that I made with my doctor based on my health. What gets me, though, is that no one would tell an alcoholic or cocaine addict to not go to rehab. Or that they don't use enough drugs to get outside help.
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I think countries should be able to refuse entry to anyone for any reason. They should just apply it equally across the board to all, from any country. I liken my country to my home. I have the right to refuse anyone entry into my home and I think countries should have the same right. I think citizenship should have it's priveledges, and if you are born in a country they are stuck with you period. To be fair NZ, or any country, for that matter have a right to only admit healthy people. The bad thing about obesity is that it is kind of hard to hide. If you are a smoker or an alcoholic, that can be covered up as long as it hasn't started to effect your health. So if you are fat, you are screwed.
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Jeter, This is coming from someone who is ADHD (not diagnosed until I was 46 and it helped drive me to alcoholism) and banded. Starting off, your sister has the problems, not you. I have no idea where all of this stems from but she's worrying too much about your life, not her own. You are taking care of your business and trying to make things as good as you can for yourself, your daughter and your mom. Your sister is mad and confused about some part of her life and is trying to blame you. Do you best not to just keep on living your life to your standards and expectations. Your sister's opinions and valuations of you should have absolutely no bearing on what you do. As for ADHD, medications can help in some situations but they don't work by themselves. You need to start working with your daughter on how to cope with ADHD. There are tons of books out there that can help (Hartman has written several that are OK, plus "you mean I'm not lazy, crazy or stupid?" book is good). You are fortunate that your daughter was diagnosed so early in life. There are habits she needs to start developing now to cope that will help her for the rest of her life. I wish my parents knew about this when I was 8 years old. ADHD is a blessing in addition to a curse. There are parts of the ADHD mind that really help with creativity and problem solving. Learn about the ADHD mind and you'll find ways to really improve your daughter's life. Back to your sister. You may want to examine her drinking habits and medication use. From your description, her behaviour is not rational. Good Luck. EQ
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I'm not sure how accurate it is, but I read on another thread that someone had been told by their surgeon it was ok as long as you stir some of the fizz out with a spoon before you drink it! I was most afraid of giving up fizzy drinks out of all the changes I have faced, I would get through 8-10 litres of pepsi max a week until my surgery, and I have to admit that I have had a few sips since (when no other drink option was available) and its just soooo uncomfortably gassy!! I found a bottle a few weeks ago which was so old it was completely flat, and it was nice, but it didn't particularly make me want more of it. I guess that as time passes and habbits change the urge does reduce significantly. The biggest problem I have is finding suitable mixers with alcoholic drinks (cranberry juice all the way now!). I do on occasion allow myself a beer or a cider, but some of those tend to be more bubbly than others (I do do the stirring trick, which looks a little odd in a pub), but I've found some ar emuch more gassy than others, so if I find one that goes down nicely I'll try that again in future, and slowly avoid the ones that didn't suit. wow - I just re-read my post and realised how much it sounds like I drink!!! he he!
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Everything seems about right! Have you reached out to your NUT and surgeon? I'd say this is pretty slow loss considering what you are eating. One thing I can say, I stalled after 2 weeks post op, and did not start loosing until I started exercising. I mean, cardio with keeping my heart rate increased for 30mins+ per day. This isn't meant to sound bad, but obviously your physical activity at your job wasn't enough pre surgery, so it may not be enough post surgery. Some vets on here don't believe as much in exercise, but we have almost identical stats and exercise worked for me. I'm 8 weeks post op and down 65lbs. Also, I increased my calories at about 6 weeks post op to around 800-900 calories per day. I track 100% of my food & exercise on MyFitnessPal. I keep my carbs to under 50 grams per day and my protein at around 75 grams. I don't eat any pasta, white bread, processed sugar, processed foods (for the most part, about 95 fresh/5 processed split), caloric drinks, or alcohol. I'd like to see what your stats are after logging you food for one week.
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Leave now. Do not pass "go." Do not collect two hundred dollars. Or you will go directly to jail. Men who abuse drugs and alcohol do not respect themselves much less anyone else. Their God is the drug and their lifestyle revolves around the worshiping of same. I believe I gave my ex-husband the choice: Marijuana or me. Go to treatment or our marriage is over. He chose drugs over me. I'm rather happy with that decision as my second marriage is a blessing--but damn, girl. Get out while you still can.
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Anyone notice Post Banders are a bit snobbish?
Bamagal replied to El Diablo's topic in General Weight Loss Surgery Discussions
WTF, Dan you are absolutely right some here are very rude and uppity,some are worse than a recovered alcoholic talking to someone who drinks.You know the (I been sober for 2 years ) and that makes them an expert or something.But the great news is its a small percentage . -
This is why they dont do those surgeries anymore..gastric bypass rny 2001
catwoman7 replied to boofcat1996's topic in Gastric Bypass Surgery Forums
It sounds like at least a chunk of this is due to not taking supplements and developing an alcohol and painkiller addiction rather than the surgery itself. I'm sorry that you did not get better advice and support from your surgeon. -
Question for Smoking Bandster?????????
adagray replied to Bell1138's topic in POST-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
Well, I was a social smoker too and, honestly, I cannot even remember when my last smoke was... maybe one month before surgery. But, I never declared myself as a 'smoker' to my surgeon because I didn't think smoking 1-2 cigarettes a month really meant you were a 'smoker'. And, I don't know all of what they tested for when I went for my pre-op testing, but they said my results were all good including my chest x-ray. As for alcohol, I used to drink almost daily. I cut that out about one month before surgery, but I still had a couple glasses of wine w/my friend about one week before surgery. I had surgery on 12/17, then had wine again on Christmas Eve, Christmas, and New Years Eve. My surgeon did not give any cutoff date for drinking alcohol. The dietition did say to try to avoid it after just because of the calories, but that it wouldn't hurt the band. I feel good that I was just able to give up my daily habit w/it and it didn't turn out to be as hard as I thought it would. I feel like I have a lot more respect for my body now that I have this band and a chance at getting my health back. -
I used to enjoy bourbon before my surgery. If your doctor cleared you for booze - enjoy. Just be careful when you first start. My first experience with alcohol after surgery was not great. It felt like a roller coaster ride.
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I'm so relieved to find other college students on here. I was banded on October 31st, and got filled to 9 ccs less than 2 months ago. I can FINALLY feel it working now! I'll answer any questions you may have about having the band while being a college student. If you don't drink alcohol, then please disregard the rest of this message. LOL The biggest problem I hear from other banded students is avoiding alcohol, so I'm assuming that it's of some concern to you bc it was for me. I love partying, and I drink more than I should. As much as the surgeon tells you to avoid alcohol, you might just give in sometimes if you're anything like me. You already know that drinking really should be avoided as much as possible. I only let myself drink 2-3 times a month now. Here's some random advice from my experience (I wish someone would've been this straight forward with me). 1. Never drink to the point of throwing up (I did this just last weekend, eh!) I didn't know this until a week ago, but every time that you throw up, you're taking a risk at your band slipping, which means that You'll have to go through another surgery to remove it. 2. Avoid beer at all costs--I didn't listen to people when they told me that it's VERY uncomfortable! The gas builds up so much that it feels almost a little painful/uncomfortable...I felt it after 1/2 a beer. It was even worse when my friend brought out the funnel- very bad. Everyone is different, though. 3. If you're going to drink, stick with the clears. I only drink either vodka or tequila (least amount of calories), and I either drink it straight, or with DIET soda. If you're going to take a chance with beer, drink only light. I wouldn't suggest it though bc it'll take longer for you to get drunk off of beer, so you'll end up drinking more of it (wow I sound like I need to go to an AA meeting) 4. Drunken munchies- After being awesome on my diet for like 3 months, I partied, got the drunken munchies, and actually thought I could consume a Big Mac. I threw up after 3 bites from giving into my craving. I can't even tell you how I regretted that in the morning. Try to avoid eating while drunk bc you'll forget that you have the band.. I was told 3 times that I should wait to get the band until I've "grown out of partying", but I've proven everybody including my parents and my surgeon wrong by proving that you can still have a great time in moderation AND see awesome results. I hope this helps you in the future, and if you don't drink at all- MORE POWER TO YOU!
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Would like some input about an upcoming trip... It is s Business Convention and I am trying to figure out a non carbonated, sugarfree, alcoholic beverage to sip on (a weeks worth of business dinners). Prior it would be Bacardi diet or Mike's lite hard lemonade, neither of which will work now. Doc gave me ok to have alcohol but I have no clue what other types of drinks to have. Thanks!
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So after some arm wrestling i got blue cross to cry uncle, had my pre-op clearance, and I'm scheduled for wednesday AM (dec 15 -- Northwestern in Chicago). I have been *so* good for the past two weeks. stopped smoking, stopped drinking, did not let one carb pass my lips. Even was compliant on that damn CPAP machine. I hate that (*^_($^(# thing. Tonight, after confirming alcohol was not a carb, I went ahead and had a couple (vodka). Smack me with a noodle, but i was starting to lose it. What a really wanted was a going away party with white castle, but I held back. I actually don't mind the whole Protein shake thing. I got a gold card at GNC, and I think the 42G protein shots are fine. I honestly like those Ostrim meat stick things. So that 'll be fine. I'm pretty sure the "iso" whey thing is just a marketing gimmick, so clue a brother in on that. thoughts? What i'm gong to miss is pizza. and crusty bread. Crap -- I'll stop talking. Look at the audience -- im sure you know what i mean. So anyway, glad I found this group. I may need some help doing those ticker updates. Tomorrow I take my "before" measurements and pics, even though I've already lost 8 lbs on the pre-op diet. I'm ready. cheers.
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Hello all! I am curious as to how those sugar free Chocolates go down? Do you experience dumping syndrome even with sugar alcohols? Is there an acceptable amount of carbs in these types of treats? I appreciate the advice! Thanks Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App
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They have sugar alcohols and too many make me go to much.... Just an occasional treat for me.
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Just diet and exercise. WOW! Never considered that.
Starry*Night replied to mousecat88's topic in Rants & Raves
Unless the person is someone close to me and I can tell they really were sincere and meant well with the statement, I don't engage. In my case, I'm a food addict - it's like telling an alcoholic to just stop drinking. No 💩 Sherlock 🙄
