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I've been invited to my friends bday party , who I have not told I've had my op she says there's gonna be loads of food worse nightmare and alcohol lol I don't no what I'm gonna do and I want to to I'm nearly 8 weeks post op I'm not interested in food or alcohol in just need to get out I've been so isolated what am I gonna do food and alcohol worse nightmare to me ???????? Sent from my SM-N910F using the BariatricPal App

I was recently at an event that turned into a drinking party (wake for a friend). I was 10 days post-op and knew I couldn't drink. I had a cranberry juice. It was 1/3 cranberry juice, 2/3 Water, served over ice in a pint glass. Nobody ever noticed that I didn't have alcohol in my "vodka-cranberry." I just made sure that if someone bought me a drink, I surreptitiously dumped it and got another one of my "specials." My husband had suggested I do just water with a lime in it, so it'd look like a gin and tonic. You can do this! Are you on mushy foods yet, because if you are, you might find something at the party that you could eat (like the filling of a deviled egg or something). Honestly, if it gets really awkward, you could either take tiny portions of things and just push them around the plate like you are eating or use any of the "outs" Bufflehead suggested. You've got this!

I was banded on Tuesday and I'm going on a 5 day cruise 30 days after my surgery. Really not ideal but I had planned this trip a year ago. My band is unfilled. My surgeon and nutritionist said I will be on soft foods/normal foods by then. My concern is, i saw no healthy food on my last cruise. I've already decided I will not be drinking any alcohol on the cruise, and no grazing at the buffet. What foods will keep me full but are "safe" for a very new bandster? For the formal sit down dinners, is it ok to have Soup as an appetizer or will that leave no room for meat and veggies? Any tips are much appreciated.

Did the drink also contain artificial sweeteners specifically sugar alcohols (xylitol, maltitol, erythritol, etc. - those that end in ‘ol’)? These are renown for causing nausea, diarrhoea, bloating & other digestive problems. Many find after surgery, they can’t tolerate these sweeteners after surgery. Of course your tummy can be sensitive & fussy in the first couple of months after surgery (like a petulant two year old). A food or drink you can eat/drink one day causes you problems the next: tummy says no, not today. Doesn’t mean you won’t ever be able to have that food or drink. Give it a week or two & try them again. I remember easily eating a soft well cooked carrot one day but the next up it came. Tried it the next week & all was fine, never had an issue again.

Unfortunately, weight loss surgery happens in your stomach, not in your brain. And yes, even though WLS should make weight loss easier, it's still hard. Making your band tighter and tighter is not going to speed up weight loss or banish those demons who tell you a glass of wine and handful of potato chips and 2 Cookies are OK, just this once. There is no such thing as just this once. That was true for me before WLS and it's still true now, 6 years and 100 lbs. later. Also, you sure don't need a tighter band if you're having eating problems at your current restriction level. I think right now you need to stop worrying about weight loss and start concentrating on good food choices and good eating skills (take tiny bites, chew very well, eat slowly, etc.). Making good food choices means choosing foods that are good nutritionally and are good for satiety. In other words, emphasize solid foods and avoid slider foods (soft and liquid calories, plus crispy carby stuff like crackers, chips, etc.). You'll have to experiment with food preparation to make things like chicken, fish, or whatever more band-friendly. I can't eat chicken or turkey breast, but I can eat dark meat if it's prepared in a way that doesn't dry it out. Broiled, grilled, or microwaved meat/fish/poultry can be a problem for me, but baking or braising with some liquid (like broth) or sauce can make all the difference. A little bit of sauce, gravy, salad dressing, salsa, etc. can add flavor and make the food easier to get down. Just don't drown the food in it! One more piece of advice - something you already know, but I want to reinforce it. Drinking wine every night is the first thing you need to address. Alcohol is not only liquid calories with no nutritional benefits; it also makes foolish food choices and hours of grazing seem like splendid ideas. Hang in there!

In any other addiction, people completely give up the thing that they are addicted to. An alcoholic completely gives up alcohol. With gambling the same thing. Drugs, the same. We can't completely give up food! That being said, yes, I consider myself addicted to food. I hope that someday, with the help of the band and my friends (here on this forum, support groups, and my family), I won't be looking for that next meal and worry about hunger all of the time. I know many on these boards who have overcome this addiction... Best wishes!

I know the feeling of whether to tell anyone about it or not. I think my problem is that I feel like a failure at losing weight on my own. If I had surgery to correct a heart valve or had treatment for smoking/drugs/alcohol, then there would be an outpouring of sympathy. So I really don't understand some peoples hostility when they hear about WLS. I only told those that needed to know because once you've told someone, you can't untell them.

my mother is kind of the same way, she was an alcoholic and was one of the people that as a kid was always giving me food when i was sad or upset. I think she has guilt some over the things that happened in the past. She still has a tendency to push food at me. I hope things can be worked out but sometimes i think we cant change peoples minds. Best of luck and dont give up on your journey. There is def. alot of support here.

I can only speak to my experience,,, most alcoholic drinks and beer,,, will be off limits,,, for at least a few months after WLS... I know my doc said wine would be a good thing to start back with if you wanted,,, beer has lots of carbonation,,, sounds painful,,, just thinking about it,,, im 4 yrs post op,,, any way,,, I decided after ,,, to forgo,, so Ive been sober for 4 years,,, BEST decision of my life,,, please take this endeavor seriously,,, this is not a cure all,,, if you dont change your habits you will go back,,, and re gain the weight,,, I decided to take this GIFT and use it to its fullest,,, sounds kind of fruity,,, but im dead serious,,, 4 years of maintained weight goal,,,, lots of gym / great nutrition , exercise and SOBRIETY I doubt I will ever go back,,, you can and will fall into old / BAD habits,,, I wish you luck,,, WLS is just a head start,,, but ya gotta change your eating / drinking / active habits !! best of luck

Thanks for the advice guys. I dig y'alls passion and commitment! It's evident that y'all are winning the battle of obesity. I should have made my question a little more clearer. I totally understand that alcohol equals useless calories and can lead to poor choices in general, namely food consumption! I was referring to the sleeve itself, and the potential harm that alcohol could have on the healing sutures and such. As of now, I am self funding my revision (appeal in progress), so I am in no way planning to waste my hard earned money and sabotage my potential success. But having said that, I still want a life! I am a very light drinker and may go months without nary a drop. There are times and occasions that I like to be social and partake in the "party". That's all. Thanks, Ray

Just a few questions about what and how I will be able to eat after surgery.. -I hear you have to eat your proteins first, can you do sandwiches? Pizza? Sushi since they are combinations? -What happens if something is really dry, can you take a sip of water? -Is it ok to snack? Or do you have to just do the 3 meals a day? -Do drinks make you full at non meal times? -How does alcohol affect you? Thanks!

1st let me say I am glad to have found this Forum. I found it yesterday after google 'ing bariatric support groups at the suggestion of my nutritionist. Along with a list of "what to start doing to get used to it" items she said I should find a support group for obvious reasons. I have very little knowledge on the subject bariatric surgery other than what I have learned from my visits with my surgeon and his group so far and what very little i learned from my brother having lap-band several years ago. Well gotta figure no better way to learn than to ask those that have gone through or are going through what I plan to. I've been reading topics here since yesterday and have come across some things I didn't know or even think about. So I figured I'd give details of my current situation and see if others have anything in common and if they could give me some ideas of what to expect. It's been just over a month since I first saw my surgeon and came to the decision to go through with the sleeve surgery. I did not initially go to see him for it though. His name was on a list I received from my primary care doc after she told me the lump on my belly button was an umbilical hernia. When I went to see him he said he could repair the hernia but there was a high chance of either it reopening or another opening somewhere else due to my weight and big ass gut (not his words). After his, what I 1st felt was a sales pitch, He showed me some videos gave me some info to read and suggested I take some time to think about it and talk it over with my wife. We read, I showed her the video, we talked about it and decided it was probably the smart thing to do. Over the past few years I've put on a significant amount of weight and it seems every time I try to diet it off, I pack more on. A little bit of medical history for ya...... According the old trusty BMI system I've been heavy since my late teens early 20's but that is because of my height. I was pretty fit and muscular back then. Stayed pretty fit but did gain weight heading into my 30's and put on more the older I got. I've had back issues since my late teens due to a vehicle accident but it was never anything more than a good cracking my back couldn't relieve. My line of work has always been very physical, so along with getting older and the weight gain my back issues became worse. Now about to hit my mid 40s I've been out of work for going on 3 years due to osteoarthritis, slipped/herniated disks and sciatica. I have very limited movement and seem to be stuck in my "snowball". Also because of the weight I am on blood pressure, cholesterol and get happy meds. I do not take pain killers other than occasional 800mg ibuprofen. I have an addictive nature and am terrified of getting hooked. Speaking of which I am an "alcoholic". On the wagon and have it under control but still might as well mention it. Damn I am one F***ed up specimen. Well, I'll leave it at that and hope for any feedback, experience or suggestions/advice that any of you care to give. Thanks so much in advance for reading and feedback. Sorry this turned out so LONG. J

I try and stay away from splenda, Ive heard bad things about it. anything with sugar alcohols make my ass explode!!! cannot tolerate that stuff. I knoe fiber one bars don't have sugar alcohols in it, but it does have sugar. Im going to try experimenting with stevia, its a natural sweeter that is made from a plant. it has something like 10x's the sweetness as sugar. I bought it at Trader Joes. I like it because it is not a chemical, it is a plant. good luck, amy

My question is why exactly we aren't supposed to have alcohol, or when I can drink again. I really enjoy a drink when I go out and I just want to know when is it ok? 6 months? a year? what did you surgeon say? Any bad experiences?

In general it is always easy to make judgements from the outside. There's a reason for the proverb "walk a mile in my shoes". Personally alcohol does'nt do a thing for me. Period. I have to have sweet dessert drinks so why bother with the alcohol; I might as well just eat a piece of cake. My brother however is a recovering alcoholic. Our difference is I can walk away from beer; and you would have to force feed him cherry pie. I find that weight problems are something that many people cant empathize over. Unfortunately you may never get someone to understand why you've made the this decision if they are not of the mindset to really listen.

Thank you all! I totally relate to you who are having the same thoughts I did...so much self doubt and fear for us all. For me it was so bad that I told no one I was doing this in case I failed (I have yet to tell anyone). My goal was modest compared to some, but overwhelming for me. I have thyroid disease and a non-existent metabolism. I lost about 10 lbs on my preop and a little over 60 since then. It sucked, let's be real, but I didn't bust my ass or watch the food intake and I even drank alcohol whenever I felt like it. Some may think it irresponsible of me to say these things, given how much we all have struggled and continue to struggle post op in many cases. But my intention is to encourage everyone. It will happen! It will.

@@fancypants11578 The amount of time you can't have things is really short. People focus on that, but really that is just the first 6 months. I had a filet on Sunday, and lobster, took me a while, and I didn't have any sides but it was delicious. I didn't drink alcohol before surgery and I still don't no desire.

I asked this question at my pre-op consult, and there is no medical reason why you cannot have alcohol. The only reason is that alcohol is empty calories and will go down pretty easy. Add that to the fact that your new stomach only carries a fraction of the food, and you'll be a cheap date pretty quickly. In fact, white wine and vodka are considered "clear liquids" as far as I was concerned... :crying: If you feel that you may substitute one addiction for another, then this is a personal decision. But my understanding is that there's no medical reason why not.

Be careful about sugar-free candies with sugar alcohols--they cause some people serious intestinal distress.

I was my mother's caregiver. She had Parkinson's Disease - the type that causes not only the involuntary movements of the upper body, but the type that also results in dementia, paranoia, etc. And she had severe Osteoporosis - so bad that her spine was crumbling with stress fractures and she couldn't wear her dentures because the bone in her lower jaw was just gone. Obviously, she could only walk very short distances, with the aid of a walker. When my mom got so bad she couldn't be left alone at all, I hired people to stay with her while I was at work, and for several nights each week. The rest of the time, I took care of her. I did her laundry, and my own. I cooked for my family, plus whatever my mother wanted to eat at that particular moment in time. I changed the litter box for her 2 cats, did all her shopping, and ran all her errands. My family and I did all her yard work, as well. I had a job, a husband, and 4 children, but no life of my own. I could not go on a vacation, or even a weekend trip. I thought I was going to have to miss my son's wedding rehearsal because it was on Friday night and I didn't have a sitter for my mom. I treasure the things I have that were my mother's. Every time I open her recipe box, I see all those little index cards covered with her handwriting. I couldn't have cared less about the money, but I would have fought for that recipe box. Now my mother-in-law lives with me. She is almost 87 and I take care of her, although she's in great shape for a woman her age (but almost deaf as a post). I know a little bit about caring for the elderly. It's not a lot of fun, I agree. But I can close my eyes and feel my mother's hand on my forehead when I was sick. She was a single mom - divorced from my alcoholic father when I was 5 years old. She raised us by herself. She was a teacher, but she worked two jobs most of my childhood, and she took in ironing to pay for my dancing lessons. My brother, who did absolutely nothing as far as caring for our mother, got the same inheritance as I did, by the way.

Good Evening all, I was told on Wednesday evening i am to have my sleeve on the 3rd of January, this caught me completely cold as ive been waiting that long. I immediately started my pre op diet and in 4 days have lost 7 pounds which is crazy. Obviously we have Christmas coming up and well...my 30th birthday (new years eve). Now I get the deal with alcohol but how long before surgery should i stop ? For the record i haven't had a drop for 7 days now but i wouldn't mind a couple of drinks at Christmas and here or there, not so bothered about my birthday as i appreciate its very close to my op day....would this be an issue ? I wouldn't drink 8 days before surgery however i havent had direction on this, i see my nutritionist on Wednesday :/. In regards to my pre op diet, at the moment it consists of this daily : Breakfast : Meal Replacement shake, low carb, high Protein lunch : Same again however i may add half a chicken breast for bulk Dinner: Tonight i have chicken breast and stir fry, tiny tiny tiny bit of mint sauce Obvs i am having sugar free fluids (mainly Water but pepsi max every now and then) Does this seem ok ? For what its worth, im 6ft tall, male and im weighing in at 19st 10, i hope to be 19st flat for surgery. Not sure If this makes any difference, figured id put it. p.s on a last note, i was so against this surgery yesterday but i came on here and m view point has just dramatically changed, i am looking forward to living again, thank you.

Warm fluids. And drink drink drink if you can. Dehydration tightens my band right up. Also alcohol does it since it is dehydrating. I went out friday night and had a little too much to drink and I've been tight ever since. Travel does make me tighter so the idea of traveling wouldn't appeal to me either. Any way you can call your physician's office and see if they can get you a referral in China? Just a thought. They maybe able to check credentials of doctors better than you can as a "layperson". Keep to softer foods if possible to avoid the possibility of getting stuck. If you have access to ibuprofen (chewables preferably) you may want to take some with plenty of water of course to see if there is any swelling issues. I don't know if that's okay with breastfeeding, you probably do better than I. Tough to be in your situation, I wish you luck!

Checking in: getting sharp pains like I did post surgery on right side of belly button n been having increased acid n throwing up this month. It's either all because I am eating late. Eating too frequently, upping my sodium n it's insane how dehydrated I can get so quickly. However I am still drinking coffee a lot. I get huge headaches now. I do exercise more. But I feel that I get weak and tired pretty fast. Maybe some of this Is mental because of birthday blues. I try to stay away from alcohol because I'm a major lightweight now with the sleeve. I burp soooooo much it's so unladylike! I take pribiotics again, although they r so expensive. I try to only eat organic n all natural. I wore pants for the first time in ten yrs n all of a sudden everyone thinks I'm super skinny. Lol. It's just cuz I wore baggy skirts and tops for so long. I just hit a yr in oct since the surgery n I'm feeling healthy for the most part. I try my best to keep my sleeve in good shape, but I don't know why I must eat until it hurts sometimes or eat junk sometimes. I would be devastated if god forbid I seriously mess this up for myself after altering my organs. Anyway, I'm thankful for a lot and for being alive. I wish I didn't have sagging skin n that I focused more on toning...still... I weigh 140 (+) and I started at 265 (+\-).

I found you on the site and saw you were around my age, so I figured I would ask you some questions, if you don't mind answering them.lol..... I have been thinking about lapband since 2007, yet I still havent made any moves towards having it done. I was about 240lbs then,and 3 years later I am now 270 lbs. so, I need to do something asap....What's your advice for someone contemplating surgery ..... -pros and cons? -what was your diet like in the begining and what is it like now? -how often do you exercise? -did you have anyd difficulties? -can you drink alcoholic beverages (not a big drinker, just curious)? -did your insurance cover surgery, and if so what did you have to do for them to agree to cover the surgery? Any extra info you would like to offer would be great! THANKS!

chazpbg, you should follow the food stages that YOUR doctor has given you, every doc is different but why chance stretching your pouch, It's not about choking it's about letting yourself heal and they don't not want your stomach to churn during this phase. Like I said every doc is different but I was told no alcohol for 6 weeks The best thing for the gas is to walk, walk, walk, some say that heating pads are useful as well, as far as the sour feeling call your doc if you experience nausea because it's important not to throw up. And as far as the reflux my doc said to take a prilosec if I had this problem, so call and ask them what is best. No scolding. It's good that you come here and ask questions, but I was banded a week before you and when I reflect back at all the months of dealing with paperwork, insurance, and doc appts the last thing I want to do is chance having to start over because I decided to jump the gun and caused damage. The stages will pass quickly and next thing we know we are on regular diet.... Good Luck!!!!!!! and congrats on the weight loss!