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Honestly I think this is one of the reasons therapy is so helpful when going through this experience. Even if you don't go every week, having a person who has both perspective and understands the ins and outs of abusive relationships and how they echo through us for years after can be immensely healing. You are changing a LOT and it is normal to have feels about that. And he will have feels about it too, because he loves you and as you change, he will have to change in some ways too, to accommodate and appreciate the ever-changing being that is you! My partner doesn't care what weight I am. I gained 100 lbs since we were first married. We've been together 17 years. They look at me with just as much, if not more, desire than they did when I was young and smaller, which is hard to wrap my head around! They have always encouraged me to dress in ways that feel good. They prefer curvy women, always have. I have been worried that as I lose weight they might lose some of that attraction to me because in time, I will be smaller than they've ever known me, smaller than I've ever been in my adult life! But they assure me that while they aesthetically like the look of curvy women, they LOVE me in all my forms and my health and wellbeing is more important than anything else and no matter how I change, I will still be beautiful. If they loved me at 200 and they loved me at 320, they will love me at 170 or wherever I land. I've done enough work in therapy with the abuse I dealt with in the past to be able to trust what they say. But it still gets to me sometimes... Today I noticed my boobs have become visibly flatter. This is really hard for me because I LOVE MY BOOBS. 🤣 I have always been booby and I like it! Last year I found out I carry the CHEK2 mutation and with my cancer history combined with it I have a much higher risk of developing breast cancer than I'd like. The specialist I saw advised I consider an elective mastectomy after my weight loss stabilizes. I understand the logic, but I've already had to bid goodbye to my reproductive organs thanks to cancer, I wasn't expecting to have to consider saying goodbye to my boobs too. So I was standing in the bathroom today having the feels about my flat boobs and my partner came in so I pointed out the change. They admitted they could see the difference but very stubbornly said "These are my favorite boobs in the whole world. They are the best boobs ever, no matter what size they are." FFS, really?? Am I not supposed to cry at that?? They said something similar when we talked about a mastectomy. I feel very lucky to have a partner that can abide all the changes that I've gone through in this life and still look at me through the eyes of love. I hope I succeed at giving that back to them...

I am not surprised you are ticked off. You know what is right and working for you now and stick to that. You are not doing anything wrong and have much such changes in your life to get to where you are, well done. My surgeon is the opposite and he told my target should be 75kg/165lb and I said 66kg/145lb so as to be in the healthy range on BMI chart. His response was to not fixate on the BMI chart and just be happy and healthy. He said he thought I would look older and less healthy if I lost too much more weight. My GP doctor said similar about being happy and healthy. We agreed to reduce my target to 70kg/154lb but I seem to be stuck at 72kg/159lb anyway! I do think now that the target I set myself is probably not the best for me, as my bones and brain probably weigh 70kg 🤣🤣

I am really hoping that my husband and I can go on a vacation. Any vacation honestly. It has been so many years since we have had one. Between my insecurities and anxieties about my weight and the physical limitations we just haven’t found anything that seems exciting enough both of us to justify the expense. We could really use some“us” time and my husband would never admit but he would benefit from some time off. I think I may suggest to him that we go somewhere to celebrate when I hit my goal. Then we have a while to work out the details. I always wanted to go to Alaska but I think that’s mostly because I knew that it wouldn’t be too hot for me like so many other common vacation spots. I really hope that my heat tolerance goes up a bit and I can expand my options to different places. I am still only a week out so I have time to add to my list. I’m sure as my mental health improves jt will be easier for me to imagine some of these things for myself.

Yes, and it was pancreatitis, diagnosed the day after the op (as it was due to surgical error I believe) before I even knew there was a problem. I had to stay in hospital after my op and ended up having to get my nutrients via IV (and then eventually a feeding tube but that was for a different reason). I also know of someone else who suffered pancreatitis following surgery recently, medical team are blaming her prior use of weight loss injection in the run up to the surgery but who knows! If your symptoms continue would you consider going to the ER to get readmitted and ask for tests again like contrast (liquid) CT to check for leak etc.?

Please don't ever be sorry for a post's length. I don't think there is a person here who minds posts of any length! That's crazy about your insurance. I, too, hope it is resolved quickly for you. I can't imagine the new insurance company won't honor something you already had approved and were moving forward with. If they do, can you go back to the old company and appeal to them about the situation? I didn't even know that some insurance companies won't cover weight loss surgery. That's absurd! Please keep us posted, and PLEASE don't let this get to you so much that you overeat or smoke. This too shall pass, and you will be fine on the other end.

As a fellow Idaho resident, I want to wish you good luck on your weight loss journey! Unfortunately, I'm not familiar with your surgeon since I'm in CDA.

Sorry to hear about the struggles. Only issues I'm having so far is how slow my weight loss has been since surgery. I'm going to eat two meals and add protein soups and shakes for my other meal and snacks. I've been getting at least 1000 calories and 100 grams of protein a day. Along with doing exercise daily. My Dr said it's expected to lose slow. Just seems odd to me.

Hey all. So, probably for the past week now I've been feeling down on myself. I saw my weight go up a little and then came back down a little. I know that's normal It's making me think I gained 50 pounds when it's only like 2 to 3 pounds. I'm scared of gaining weight back, but im still making bad choices and it's making me hate myself for it. I'm not hitting my water and protein goals and I haven't since surgery.. it's hard for me for some reason.. I don't like water enhancers. They're either too sweet or just gross. My bad choices are (please don't be rude or negative, we are supposed to help each other, not make each other worse) I snack on chips, crackers, chex mix type of stuff, popcorn, some chocolate (not always, not every day and yeah most of the time it doesn't make me sick). I can drink soda with no problems and I HATE MYSELF FOR EVEN ALLOWING MYSELF TO DRINK IT. I can, most of the time, drink regular iced tea. Almost everyday I don't eat breakfast. And even if I do I find myself snacking later. Why? Is it because of the lack of protein and water? When I eat my meals, I can eat more than 4 ounces. Usually I don't eat everything on my platw/bowl, rare times I'm able to. I think some of the times I feel like im forcing myself to eat it. I drink with my dinner meal and my night time snack. Sometimes my lunch/breakfast. I know what I got to do before it gets out of hand more than it already is. I'm failing myself and before I know it, I'll be a bypass failure if I keep it up like this. I need to weigh my food out. I need to stop drinking soda. I need to stop drinking at my meals. I need to chew better. Stay away from the foods that got me this way in the first place. I need to focus of the protein and water goals. I feel like the foods I need, I don't reach for and I just grab whatever is easy. Any body meal prep? Why is it so hard to figure out what you want to prep? I feel like it would help. God I feel bad about myself.

@AmberFL God that sounds like a hectic week so far and so much to sort out! Sounds like you are one tough mumma though and holding the fort down! 💪 And congrats to you and your degree! That is such a massive achievement!! ❤️ Kudos to you for continuing the workout, I would have been straight out of the door 😂 I am really trying to drink more water at the moment too, but I just hate having to wee all of the damn time 🤣 I am absolutely terrified of losing my boobs...I am a GG at the moment and I just know they are going to be such a state 😢I do however look forward to having that weight off my chest, literally - but just like you, I feel like surgery will be needed! I really hope it all goes well for you. Spa week sounds lush 😍 I am also going to get my eyebrows and nails done this weekend! Possibly also some lashes but we shall see! Good on you for treating yourself, and I am glad that you got this outlet that you needed x

My package had a 2 year lifespan. I could see them every month if I needed to and I did in the beginning. That lasted about 9 months because I had some problems. The last year was 2 x quarterly and a last check in at 2 years for my pat on the back. I enjoyed my visits because I did well at weight loss, unlike weight watchers etc where I would just stall for months on end. All the while enduring the ritual non humiliation/ seething jealousy that these groups use to motivate

yep - most of us lose our sense of hunger for up to a year. I know it seems weird at first, but honestly, I found it very liberating after a while. I was free of "food noise" for the first time in forever! I hoped I'd be one of the very lucky few whose hunger never comes back, but I was not. it came back at five months out. Anyway, yes, norrmal. and take full advantage of that!! It's never going to be easier to lose weight than it will be right now. when you're never hungry and don't give a flip about food!

I haven't told anyone -- even my family -- that I got surgery. It's none of their business, and people can be really ignorant and judgmental about WLS, and I don't want to debate about it. Sometimes when someone says, "Wow, you look great!" you can divert the conversation away from weight loss just by saying, "Thanks! So do you! It's great to see you; how have you been?" My go-to answer when people ask me how I lost the weight is, "I made a lot of lifestyle changes..." That alone is often enough to make them lose interest because they're looking for an easy answer. If they press for more information, I'll talk about using MyFitnessPal to track my food, getting a FitBit to track my steps, waking up early to work out before work, finding healthy recipes on Pinterest, incorporating more vegetables into my meals, using grocery delivery to avoid temptation, etc. Which is all true. I'm 3.5 years post-op, and over time, the surgery itself is less of a factor and the "lifestyle changes" (I used to hate that term, but that's what it is) are what matter. Nowadays, weight loss drugs like Ozempic are pretty socially accepted, more so than surgery. I would be more willing to admit to using Ozempic than getting WLS, except that I haven't used weight loss drugs and I wouldn't lie to say I did (and wouldn't want to have to answer questions about side effects, cost, etc. that would probably follow). But since weight loss drugs are so common, people might just assume.

Now that I'm 2 years out from my sleeve and 1 year out from my revision to bypass, I can tell you that I eat around 1200 calories per day when I'm not working out and 1400 - 1500 per day when I'm working out (depending on the type of work out I'm doing). I'm on my feet all day at work, so I increased my daily calories from what they were before. Same with my work outs. I can't work out as often now, so I go harder than I used to on the days I can actually work out (now that I have full medical clearance with no restrictions). I noticed pretty early on that if I didn't eat enough calories during the day, but was still working out, my body thought it was starving and it would hold on to every single thing. As hard as it was to wrap my brain around, I took the advice I saw on here and increased my calories on work out days by a couple of hundred each day and I actually started losing again!!! I was floored!!! So as I increased intensity of my work outs, or increased the weight I was lifting, I increased my calories a bit. I didn't go crazy, but enough to let my body know it's still healthy and not starving. BUT....I had to initially give myself grace and time to be able to increase calories. Work outs or not, I had to do it on my body's timeline, not a doctor or nutritionist's. No way could I have been at 900 or 1000 calories at 2 or 3 or 4 or 5 months. There just was no way. And honestly, mine didn't expect that. They didn't want to see us above 700 calories before 5 months post op. I had JUST hit 900 calories at 7 months post op. I'm actually thinking about increasing my calories a little again, because I'm still losing, and I'm nearly 10 pounds under my goal weight, and I really would like to start maintaining lol If I drop to 179, I will definitely increase my calories by 100 everyday and see what happens.

Congrats! Sounds like you are making some good progress if you've gone through that many clothes! I can relate to both of you. I feel like I haven't made the progress I should be, but Long Covid has hurt my exercise efforts and constant brain fog is frustrating. I also hit a 6 week long stall that really brought me down. Thankfully that finally broke the last two weeks for me, but I still dont' have my strength back. A 2 mile walk pretty much drains me still, even though I was doing 4-5 miles at a time 4 weeks post-op before Covid. EDIT: Based on continuing conversation in this thread, I just wanted to say I realize I have made good progress, but was trying to emphasize that I still have a mental block that, for some reason, prevents me from appreciating it. I've lost more weight than I was ever able to on my own, but at the same time feel physically weaker than any other point in my life despite trying to exercise. Also my start weight of 352 was from my highest ever weight in 2021, and not my pre-op diet weight of 321. Not trying to be dishonest, just trying to remind myself how bad off I was 2-3 years ago.

I am so sorry your dealing with this. Mine is 8 months out and I am only down to 315 after being 358 day of surgery. My weight is still up an down even with new diet and taking magnesium citrate.

I’m doing ok. I had revision and it’s definitely not the same as I expected. It’s slow weight loss but at least it’s going down. Body take longer to heal compared to before. Over all can’t complaint. Thanks for asking!

(I love your username!) I feel like the majority of us turned to WLS as a last resort after many other WL-options didn't work out for us. I've done WW, Dr Bernstein, raw diets, different drugs, intermittent fasting, all sorts of fad diets / cleanses, etc. I feel you. This is different. This is a diet not as a noun, but as a verb -- a healthy way of eating for life. This resets our hormonal responses to food. It gives us a blank slate to re-learn those healthy habits of portion control, of prioritizing nutrients, etc. It gives us the opportunity to look at our old habits and realize we don't need them anymore. It gives us a jumpstart into weight loss so we start off with great momentum / kicking ass. Good luck to you -- but you don't need it. Good mindset is all you need.

This is not as easy as people think the weight really does not just fall off. I have been having to work for every tiny scale victory lately and if I don’t eat and drink right it creeps up the wrong direction just a bit. I‘’m sorry you’re at a stall too. I know how frustrating it can be. All I can say is that you have made so much progress in the last few months and you look amazing!! You are out there climbing cliffs!! No way would you have been doing that last year. This time next year all this stalls will be a memory and we will all have made it through it. Just keep doing what you’re doing and the scale will move again soon. ❤️

I agree: ongoing support is necessary or at least knowing it’s there if you do need it. The ongoing support is the main reason I stay active on this forum plus being able to pay it back by offering others support because that can reinforce my behaviours. As is reading about others’ stories like yours. I’m also glad I still see my surgeon’s colleague for follow ups (6 monthly now) & I’m 4.5 yrs out. It’s probably more of a chatty catch up now but she is there if I ever need her. I also get the worrying over small weight gains. I find myself watching the grams/ounces & not just the kilograms/pounds some days. Before surgery I’d just shrug off any gain or simply not weigh myself so I could pretend I hadn’t gained. Now I think I’ve worked too darn hard to let my weight get away from me. But sometimes life gets in the way: you or a loved one has a health issue, you’re prescribed new meds, relationship, work, financial challenges, etc. arise, & you can’t control all those things. All you can do is decide how you manage them & their impact on your life. Maybe track your food for a while to check your food choices, portions sizes, nutritional content & whether you’re still meeting your protein & fluid goals. That way you can discover where you may have drifted off track. Then start by making one or two changes then in another week or two make another change or two until you’re back on your path. All the best.

I am 6 months out HW 380 SW 330 CW 263 I did it! I did a practice run to work and back 5 miles total, I would have never been able to think about riding a bike to work. I lost 117 lbs so far and I can't believe I just rode a bike 5 miles. I feel amazing. It's been a journey that I am glad I took. And guess what I weight less than my husband, well depends on the day. I went from a tight 28w to comfortable 20w clothes. I still have a ways to go, but nothing can stop me now. Next on my bucket list is skydiving. Let's do this! Sent from my SM-S901U1 using BariatricPal mobile app

Snoring & sleep apnoea affects many organs in your body. You are not breathing properly & often stop breathing while asleep. Your blood oxygen levels are often decreased. It strains & causes damage to your heart. Can damage your kidneys. Affects brain function, concentration. You become easily fatigued. Increases your risk of strokes. At your height & weight you are almost at a BMI that is considered morbidly obese. I know in your other post you said snoring was your only health issue but the likelihood of other comorbidities (high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes, mobility issues, cardiac issues, etc.) developing soon is very high. I’m sure you’ve been told weight loss will benefit your overall health which to me is the most important benefit. We can become so used to & accepting of the limitations put on us physically, mentally, emotionally & on our life in general because of our weight it often is not fully realised until we lose the weight. Whether you do it via surgery, medication, dieting is your choice. But you have to want to do it & be ready to do the work associated with what ever you choose to do.

I don't know how to feel about this. Not because she's taking weight loss medications, but because she's taking these 2 together. I've done about 4 hours of research and 95% of what I read says NOT to take these 2 meds together. The other 5% is from people who take them together and have had excellent results. She gets the phentermine from her doctor and the Tirzepatide from a compounding pharmacy (they mix it with sterile saline and not B12 or niacinamide). I don't think she's told either provider that she's taking them together, and I can't help feeling like there's a reason she's hiding it. I'm on here partly to vent because I've shown her the research and expressed my concerns and she isn't listening, but also because I'm wondering if anyone here has combined phentermine with either tirzepatide, Zepbound, or Monjauro, and if so, how did it go?

I used to wear a lot of long skirts and fitted tops, then my wardrobe descended into tshirts and shorts that my brother or bf outgrew. Did you notice the baggy clothes seemed longer after you lost weight? Idk if it's because I'm wearing men's sizes/clothes or I'm just overthinking it.

Hi guys- after debating for 6 months and meeting with someone about the esg and then someone about the sleeve, i am deciding to go with the sleeve. I am 255 and my normal weight is 150. Im 33 yrs old. Ive shopped around and seen 2 surgeons and I am scared that neither are good enough even though i mean they both have good reviews. I compared the referrals they gave me and one wanted more blood testing done than the other, etc. One does the egd the same day as surgery. One office admin. Was more responsive but my gut was telling me to go with the other surgeon. Im not sure why. the surgeon i want to go with (im now indecisive) said if my insurance wont pay for it can i? I have cigna and meet the requirements but now am scared they arent going to submit the correct paperwork to have me approved. The surgeon i decided not to go with wrote up a much better referral. im seeing all the dcts and have a follow up mid august- what happens after that???

Good afternoon all! I just was thinking of all the surprises I've experienced since WLS...and I wanted to ask others what's surprised them about their weight loss/surgery journey that they weren't told by their bariatric team?! I'll go first: 1. All the aches and pains in my hips and butt. My butt hurts now when I sit since I'm missing my butt padding! Also, since losing weight my posture and gait have changed so now I'm in PT for hip abductor pain. 2. The ever increasing and changing locations of skin irritation. The skin now droops in places I wasn't told to expect and I get red irritation under my butt creases from over lap - sorry for the unpleasant visual! 3. I've shrunk..so driving I now need extra padding to be at my former "sitting height" I feel like a kid driving my parents car now. 4. I've had to buy new glasses, mine were stretched out from digging into my fat head 😋 and now they keep falling off when I look down. 5. I've had to buy new shoes, all my old shoes no longer fit. They just flop around. I was expecting new clothing..not shoes. 6. I feel more clumsy and weak despite working out. My manual dexterity is horrible now. 7. I still feel hunger 😔 These are just a few of the changes I've experienced that my bariatric team never mentioned. Do you have any to add that can take the surprise out of it for people just starting their WLS journey?! I eagerly await your responses!