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#28 - Overcoming Obstacles For me, it has come down to stubbornness and ability to keep focused on the goal of being thin and healthy. One of the biggest obstacles during my WL phase was business required entertainment, which translates to heavy drinking. Night after night I sat and had water, while everyone else drank. I honestly didn't miss the alcohol. But I missed the camaraderie. I don't like standing out, in a negative way. I didn't enjoy having to say over and over again that alcohol made me ill. I didn't like having clients sometime curtail their fun because I was not joining in. But I did it week after week, because I was determined to make the most of my tool. I didn't want to eat 500 cals during the day, then add 100's of empty calories at night. So, yep, basically stubbornness!

How I eat out: I've always had to wrestle with restaurant menus, coz I can't have anything with alcohol or non-halal meat so that usually means fish or veggie (unless they put wine in the sauce, the meanies). So, that my cuts the menu down to a couple of good options and from that I try and pick something that isn't too fatty, creamy or sugary. Often I'll do an appetiser and a salad or soup. I ask that the side of chips is taken off, and refuse the bread rolls in the beginning. I don't really eat out that often, mostly coz there aren't a lot of good local restaurants where I live and I love cooking so we prefer home meals anyhow. Sent from my SM-G930F using BariatricPal mobile app

My surgeon just told me to lose weight beforehand to shrink my liver - he didn't mind how I did it. I cut out refined carbs and alcohol, but ate normal food. It worked just fine.

No worries, you have to stay focused on the positives and remember why you chose the surgery you did. As they say in Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, this too shall pass. This pain and discomfort you are in is only temporary. As far as the protein, my favorite is the Peanut Butter. I have also tried the chocolate shake and the strawberries and cream. Peanut Butter is the best, then chocolate and then strawberry. I make mine with almond milk and it is really good, they also mix really easily and you can make them in a blender bottle.

I am almost six weeks post-op, so it's early for me--but I couldn't imagine having a beer at this point. Particular a dark, heavy stout---ugh, it would feel like carbonated lead in my stomach. I am 100% postive that would come right back up. I do have to make a small confession---I did have a few drinks on New Year's Eve (which was exactly 2 weeks post-op): on glass of white wine and 2 vodka martinis. I did have a very good time that night and was no worse for the wear, but It was stupid of me to do that. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone else (and it certainly wasn't part of my doctor's post-op guidelines of approved activities). I haven't had a drop of alcohol since that night, but I am sure by this summer I'll be in a position to have a drink on occasion. I am not a big drinker to begin with (more of a special occasion drinker or maybe one or two drinks when I am out to a nice dinner etc.). The one thing I do really miss is smoking weed. I have some great weed sitting in my safe that I brought back from Las Vegas and I haven't touched it since October or early November. I am totally afraid of smoking it because the last thing I need is the munchies at this point in my recovery (or ever again). If I could smoke without the munchies, that would be awesome (but weed isn't conducive to self-control when it comes to food).

I find sugar alcohols and other artificial sweeteners make me gassy and they also cause me to crave carbs so I don’t consume them anymore. Problem solved. YMMV I’ve heard of Devrom but have never tried it. I think folks in the DS Surgery Forum may have more experience with it so you might try posting your question over there. Good luck! P.S. Eating processed food /simple carbs (e.g. cereal) could also be contributing. I would minimize eating them as they may impair weight loss & maintenance, and could cause smelly gas. Do you have the issue if you just eat dense protein and vegetables and nothing else?

I also see food as an addiction like alcohol. I'm 3 months post op and starting to struggle with cravings for certain foods. I was driving by a chicken fast food restaurant and the smell of it had me pulling in the drive through. I wasn't hungry, it was like a memory of something I used to do and without thinking did it. I talked myself out of it. It was just amazing that the urge was so strong.

Kind of makes you realize how much of an addiction food can be. I tried comparing food addiction to alcohol addiction in a conversation with my brother once and he wasn't buying it. I hadn't done any research on the subject at the time, it was just a thought. I know now after researching WLS that it's a real thing. I can imagine that an alcoholic might have the same self destructive and impulsive thoughts when a commercial comes on about alcohol. I think about all of the bad foods that I love that got me into this mess while driving around but the scars on my gut quickly remind me why I shouldn't give in to the urge.

I agree on the carb thing - that does happen to some people (but not all) when they eat carbs. Sugar alcohol can also be a culprit for some people

I've heard of it but have never tried it (I never had a gas issue). I know some people find cutting way back on carbs and/or sugar alcohols can help with gas, too.

Yeah, that's not true. It is processed through our stomach and intestines, not straight to the blood stream. IME, alcohol does now affect me more, but I attribute it to being nearly half my previous weight, and not being able to pad my stomach with food before/while I drink. I drank very rarely during most of my weight loss phase. I was working hard to get to goal, and didn't want to add additional empty calories.

I was told to avoid alcohol for a year. Also, if you haven't already been warned everyone should've been. We are at higher risk of becoming alcoholics after surgery than before and I have seen it where I work. It's one reason I didn't immediately choose to have the surgery. I've seen several persons with this problem at my place of employment. So, be careful and follow your medical team's advice.

My doc says no alcohol for a year I have a friend who does vodka on the rocks or with crystal light , after 3 months me, my view is why waste the calories ? no alcohol till goal . Its a small price to pay

Yes I started having cocktails again about 1 month post surgery. No issues. Was told that with the weight loss I would feel the effects of alcohol faster. I haven't found that to be the case. Since my stomach can't handle as much liquid I now order doubles.

No, I don't drink alcohol, but I didn't before getting the sleeve either.

Nope no alcohol . They say I can drink after a year . A friend of mine had vodka on the rocks after 3 months . Why wouldn’t have alcohol in my view if u r trying to lose weight

Soooo all my experienced sleevers do u drink wine or liquor??? Need to know miss.carter

I am 5 days post-op sleeve. I was originally approved 1 year ago and cancelled surgery about 3xs for various reasons (fear, wanting lose weight on my own, timing at work, etc). Hwevr, I attended many free support group meetings facilitated by the program RD offered by my hospital so that I could get first hand knowledge and learn tips and strategies. This helped sooo much! The 1st couple of days in the hospital post-op was a little rough, but nothing unbearable. I also had a haitial hernia that I was unaware of that my surgeon repaired during the surgery, which Ive learned is very common for wls patients. Since coming home, I have had a lot of diarrhea, but Ive learned that many sugar-free things, including a couple of the bariatric vitamins have sugar alcohols (sorbital, sucralose, etc) that does not agree with my system. Im in the full-liquid stage til next week and today was the first day w/out diarrhea bec my RD said to start full-liquids and include hot cereals and yogurt (cream of wheat, grits, etc), which stopped it completely. I know im a post-op newbie but I have no regrets at all so far. Physically, my knees no longer hurt and I already have a diff kind of energy than before surgery that is a great feeling. I have no desire for sweets or fried foods or anything unhealthy. It may be bec im still sore and jst trying to get all of my basic proteins and fluids in, but I feel much better knowing that im finally on the other side of my wl journey [emoji4]

Yes, I am 5days post-op and had extreme diarrhea since coming home, except for today. I called my RD Friday and she told me to check the "sugar-free" liquids bec many contain sugar alcohols (sorbitol, sucralose, etc) which can promote it. My protein shakes are pea protein based and only have stevia, however it was also giving me loose stool. I also notices that my B-12 quick melts & calcium citrate soft chews have sugar alcohols. My RD suggested that i drink some Pedialyte and then advance to full liquids (hot cereal, cream of wheat/rice, grits) and non-dairy yogurt. Today (Sun), i only ate the Cream of Wheat, Cream of Rice and Grits made with high protein almond milk, non-dairy yogurt and drank water. I have had NO diarreha, but I also have NOT had a bowel movement at all today. Which, Im ok with for now, but I am about to try and drink a protein shake and hopefully my bowels will move w/out giving me diarrhea. I hope this helps a little. Sent from my SM-N920P using BariatricPal mobile app

I had surgery 12/20 and sure there have been difficult moments. This is not a no brainer, but hey , what in life that is worth it is? As the inflammation goes down you can drink more normally. But no u can’t eat what you used to and that is a good, albeit a different thing. Ive had to eat out for almost every meal the last week due to work and it has been interesting for sure. But now i get it. I just take to a smaller plate that size food which i know i can eat and put the rest aside, even sometimes covering it with a napkin. Dr. Vuong on you tube has some great videos with visual aides that help you understand where and what your sleeve is and how much it can hold. Your entire meal will be the size of your palm, Such that you don’t overdo. I have told myself that i had many years of drinking alcohol , eating whatever i wanted, cookies, bread, ice cream. I’ve had my fun and maybe i’ll Take a spoonful here and there once i reach goal, but now i am a protein and produce machine. And that’s all there is to it. The weight loss is quick initially , but is slowing. I spike my metabolism though spinning and weight training when convenient , but just make sure i get in my 3 mile walk a day at least and always my 64 ox of liquid. Good luck , this is for your health! I’m a month out and feel back to normal, albeit a whole lot lighter!

Don't panic. The PCP sounds like he needs to do some continuing education on WLS. That study primarily focuses on people who had RNY, since the sleeve didn't become popular until later.Those of us who had RNY can be at higher risk for bone loss because we have had several feet of the top part of our digestive tract removed. That's the malabsorption thing people talk about. VSG folks are still essentially intact but with just a smaller stomach (one of the highlights of VSG). Of course, keep taking your Calcium unless instructed otherwise by your surgery center, but as long as there are not other non-WLS factors that could cause bone loss (ongoing untreated low Vitamin D, heavy smoking or alcohol use, etc), the chances are low. This is based on findings from several studies by the ASMBS (American Society for Metabolic and Bariatric Surgery) - the managing organization for everything WLS. See screenshots. No more risk than with a lab band, and those have NO digestive tract change/removed. Hope that helps! ~SW: 278 CW: 165~ RNY 1/5/2005 "What got you here won't get you there."

You are the sweetest person - you and your princess are lucky to have found each other! I did love him when we got married - but really I married the him that he constructed, as he is a compulsive liar. I made my bed and I'm lying in it - no one made me marry him or stay with him. Circumstances got in the way (I was just here to visit, 9/11 happened, my flight home was grounded, and I just stayed and we had to get married quickly before my visa expired. Had I had more months to know him better, I wouldn't have stayed). I am a really strong person. I get it from my mum who had to go through hell with my alcoholic dad (which is why I said I couldn't be with someone who drank, and my husband said he was teetotal... and he didnt drink until after we were married. He can stop for months before binges). I will always win in the end - I'm patient and I can wait. He will never get the better of me. I have gained a lot through the path I chose - my amazing daughters, my breast reduction (I would have needed to wait for years to get it on the National Health Service back home), my design business, true friends, self-awareness, even this surgery. I'll be in my mid-40s when I return home for good - and if I meet someone I will be ready, and I will know what I want and need and not settle. I can wait. My daughters will be 16 and 17 then - I wouldn't want to enter into a new relationship with young daughters anyway. Not these days. In the end I'll thank him for the experience he gave me, and let him go - I am a stronger wiser person than I would otherwise have been. We are friends, co-parents, family even. But there is just no attraction for me any more, and too many bad memories of trying to bring up toddlers while he was passed out on the bathroom floor for me to rekindle a deeper relationship beyond attraction. The age difference becomes more apparent with each passing year too - he is 67 and I am 42 - and we have less and less in common. He loves me, at least he thinks he does - as much as a narcissist is capable of loving anyone. And he thinks we have a good marriage. Perhaps we do in this day and age. Honestly, I do hope he just passes peacefully at some point in the next 5 years so that my daughters and I can move on. I don't want to hurt him or wish him any ill. He's not a bad person - he is just not a very good husband (there was a reason why he had never been married at 50), and he's not my prince. So many hugs to you! I hope your recovery is going well and that your princess is taking care of you and cherishing you!

Hey all - it's a while since I posted (and I was a newbie anyway so I hadn't posted much). I told myself it was because my surgery was still so far away that it was better to step away from the board and obsessing too much... but in reality it's because I'm anxious because I haven't told my husband and I don't know how to start. The surgery is Feb 5th! We have a few friends who have had the surgery and he is very negative and judgemental, critical and mocking. My main reason for getting it is PCOS - which causes weight gain as well as some other nasty side effects. My hormone levels are getting further and further away from where they should be, and the medications I was on are no longer working and are having a negative impact on my health. Honestly, the weight loss will be a bonus for me - it's resetting my hormones and becoming healthy again that I am most looking forward to. My BMI is "low" for this surgery at 36 - but I know that it will just get worse and worse so I should deal with it now while I am still relatively young. And he knows this - he has seen my struggle with awful hormonal conditions for 17 years. But all he ever says is that I need to work out more and eat better. A few things come into play in our relationship: 1. He is 25 years older than me (which I didn't find out about until after we were engaged - he lied about his age). 2. He is an alcoholic (which I didn;t find out about until after we were married. He is a binge drinker and so was able to stay sober for the months we were engaged). 3. I have an Irish accent that people here in the US gravitate to, and he gets very jealous. 4. He is not overweight as such, but has a belly from drinking and being middle-aged that he has been trying to lose since I met him. He yo-yos a lot, and goes on extreme fasts and workouts to lose it, then gains it all back when he goes on a drinking binge. He always talks about this magical day in the future when he has lost his gut, and it never comes. It will irritate him beyond belief that this day will come for me. These things make him very insecure, and while he gives me a hard time about my weight sometimes - I think he is very comfortable with me being fat as it means I am not going to leave him or be attractive to other men. He will be jealous of me. He might try to stop me getting the surgery. I'm not being fanciful - back in 2013 I was due to have a breast reduction. My boobs were massive, always had been even when I was 112 lbs. He supported my decision, wanted me to get the surgery... then he wen on a drinking binge the week before and I caught him trying to get my insurance cancelled so I couldn't have the op. When that didn't work he tried to call the hospital and cancel it - of course they wouldn't let him. When he sobered up he was mortified and bent over backwards to be supportive when I had the op - but it happened, and I am wary. To that end I am not telling him until after this Friday, as that is the end date for open enrollment on our insurance plan. I have gotten more savvy as time goes on! Please don't be lecturing me or telling me to leave. I know what the situation is, I know what I can deal with, and I have a plan. The only place I would want to go if I left would be home to Ireland, and that can't happen until my daughter is 16 - so I have 4.5 years to squirrel away money and position myself. I have a comfortable lifestyle, and it suits me to stay. I gave up everything to move here and be with him, and I figure I'm owed and would rather be comfortable until I can leave. If we divorced some other woman would move in and get what I'm owed - there is a shortage of men around here, esp men with good jobs. And honestly (don't judge me) - he is a 67 year old chronic alcoholic. He could pass away in the next 4.5 years and me and the kids would be pretty set. He doesn't bother me, we live pretty independently, there is no animosity, I have my own bedroom, and I pretty much do my own thing (like going home to Ireland for 6 weeks every summer). I have gone to all my weigh ins and pre-op appts without him even being in the slightest bit aware - that's how separate our lives tend to be. How do I start this conversation? He is smart and educated, but very judgemental. He is a therapist (haha, I know) who has had clients who have had the surgery and not done well. But they were a lot heavier than me, smokers and substance abusers, with severe mental health problems. I have read a lot and plan to make a note of all the benefits. I have some articles to show him - but I know he won't read them (he has a very short attention span and I've never seen him read a whole article never mind a book). I plan to ask him why he doesn't want me to have it - I know that "you could die" will be the only real thing he'll have to say - but I have a medical report showing that the mortality rate for sleeve surgery is 0.08%. He can't really say "because I'm jealous" as that isn't a valid argument. If he says it is the easy way out or the lazy way out I can cite facts to show him how it isn't - but even if it was... so what? So what if it was the easy way out it gets my health back on track and me feeling better? I mean, when I was having kids it was all epidural vs. med free and breast milk vs. formula. We all made our own choices, but in hindsight it didn't matter as long as the outcome was the same: a healthy baby. I'm trying to anticipate other things he might say, or stuff I should have prepped in advance. Everyone else I have told has been very supportive - my mum, two daughters, close friends. I know 4 people in my immediate circle who have had it and have asked a lot of questions. I guess my fear is that he will try to stop it somehow - I don't expect any support, but I don't want to blindside him by telling him afterwards. I don't plan on telling him my Dr's name or the hospital I'll be at, just in case. I'm very averse to confrontation and hate having hard conversations. I'm not scared of him - he isn't physically or emotionally threatening in any way, but I am scared to bring it up. Can't put my finger on why exactly. Thanks for listening to my ramble - I guess I'm just anxious, and I really could do without it because I am a natural worrier as it is!

Hi there. Am absolutely new to this site but so glad to join you . I live in Australia and have received my date of February 27. Have the same excitement, fears and concerns as others. I am also a bit older (67) and am told there are additional concerns when you are older (increased muscle loss which I’m told can lead to falls etc. ☹️. Trying hard to start modifying my diet, using shakes, given up alcohol and most carbs to ready myself. Reading your posts certainly helps, so thank you all for posting 🙏🏻

Thanks, Silly Kitty and everyone else. I guess my fear is that my relationship with food is like an alcoholic--one cupcake and I would end up losing control. Perhaps I should go into this with the mindset that I may very will slip up from time to time, and not beat myself up when I do. I can always get back on track by keeping the ultimate goal in mind. I really appreciate your reassurance!