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I agree with you. Checking in and letting go helps to keep us more sane. I hear ya! I'm on the extended release kind for Metformin and I've been rather miserable on it. Early on I told my PCP (primary care physician) that it was causing havoc on my stomach, but he said all medication will have some form of side effect and for me to choose which one I'm going to live with. Well... I figured I'd just stick to metformin. My appointment went well. I asked the surgeon so many questions that I thought he was going to kick me out! LOL He was very patient and allowed me to shoot away. I asked him things like "What size bougie do you use and why? How does the bougie size relate to GERD? How big will my pouch be? Do you staple and suture? Is it okay to mix Miralax in water? Does sleeve make you susceptible to diverticulitis attacks? How many incisions will you make? Do your patients complain about excessive pain? What do you do to get the gas out as this is very important to me? Do your patients complain about lack of energy? If so how long did it last? What is your complication rate? Do you use an epidural? Approximately how many of your patients experience hair loss? He game me a cuddle bear to bring with me to the surgery. It was a nice touch. I don't have to start my preop till the weekend, but I've decided to start tomorrow. Originally I thought I'd have to start today, so the two extra days were a bonus for me. Since my friend (she's not having surgery) is going to do the preop diet with me, I decided to start tomorrow. I've been having food funerals as it's been referred to in the message boards. In doing so, I'm actually getting fed up of food. My family is quite enjoying all the restaurant foods we've been ordering. We don't do the cheaper fast foods, so our pockets don't feel the same way about this phase!

Pre-op it was Optifast, and I could only get them either from my surgeon or from the Bariatric Clinic Office at HRH (I got mine from my surgeon). POST-op I used Isopure Dutch Chocolate (powder) exclusively...i found this was the least sweet of all the powders I tried. I blended it up with water, ice, a tsp of decaf instant coffee crystals and 2 tsps of Benefibre. In the mornings I may add a capful of Miralax if I was backed up (which happened often!). I also had some Isopure Unflavoured to add to food. I got these online from https://www.bodybuilding.com/en-CA/index , found this to be cheapest, even with the conversion and shipping costs. The giant tub (with the handle) is the best value. But maybe try a sample first before you commit to such a large amount (my husband drinks it too, so it was worth it for us). My surgeon was XXXX. Had 7 follow ups with him (1 day, 1 week, 1 month, 3 months, 6 months, 9 months, 1 year). Again very uneventful. In and out really (I did not have any complications nor issues with weight loss). He's great. It was kind of a downer to have to go so far for so short an appt (I'm in north T.O., he's at Sheppard West), and his office was always very busy, so I often had to wait past my scheduled appt time to see him. Not really a big deal, but worth noting. There is no plan to see him again, but I was told to give them a call if I ever find the need to (I haven't). Edited to add: I put my surgeons name, but just removed it. Figure maybe I should DM you this info instead, lol...I sent it to your mailbox. Edit to add, part deux: I should mention that there are also (separate) follow ups with the clinic at HRH (1 month, 3 months, 6 months, 1 year, 2 years). My next scheduled appt will be next year at my 3 yr anniversary...i actually have no idea how long these will go for. I see the Nurse and the Dietician at these follow ups. I get my labs done, then they adjust vitamin regimen if needed, as well advise me on my reported eating. Personally, I don't get anything out of these follow-ups in terms of dietary advice that I don't already know. But getting my labs done is good. Also it sucks to have to drive all the way there and pay $25 for parking.

Welcome to the forums. Advice... Research all the surgical options. Make sure you understand them completely, the good, the bad, the complications, the eating plan, horror stories, and make sure you know everything there is to know. This knowledge is necessary so that you may make an informed choice about which surgery you want. Understand the food plan. Not just what you are supposed to eat and drink but WHY. Thus, if you are in a unusual place you will be able to confidently make a food choice that is on plan. Can you honestly stay on the food plan for the rest of your life? Now the the part about actually DOING stuff related to surgery. Insurance: In IRL you have government insurance (HSE?), so it's not as bad as USA. Here is something about HSE & WLS. Tests: You will be having surgery so your Doc is going to want to run all sorts test to ensure you live through surgery. Docs are such sticklers about keeping patients alive. You can't get out of the test, so just do them as quickly as you can. Surgery is going to hurt, but you'll be asleep. When you wake and likely for a week or more you will be in pain. Not only that but you will likely have trouble eating and drinking. Don't panic. This too shall pass. Now is fun times. You have to learn to eat again. No, you don't get it. You have to learn the mechanics of eating again. You must take small bites and chew it beyond reason. As simple as this sounds you'll do it wrong and it may hurt. Keep working at it, you'll get it. You have to be consistent about your plan. Your tastes may change which is why before surgery you learned every thing about your plan so that now you can figure out things you like and things you don't and the whole while you will stay on plan. Exercise. Yeah I know, I hate exercise for it's own sake. But if you're like me you can just increase your activity. I enjoy people watching so I would go places where I could walk around and people watch. It got to where I was walking 5-10 miles. If you enjoy exercise then do that. Go find your scale and lose it. Scales are evil. You don't need a scale to tell you how you are doing. So many people are doing great on their plan, then the scale doesn't change for 2-3 weeks. They panic and want to change their plan so they can 'kick start' the weight loss. Read that again. They are doing great but the scale caused them to want to abandon their successful plan. Oh, your relationships. Even without telling anyone you are upsetting the balance in your relationships. The good relationships will likely get better and the bad ones worse. Don't worry about it, you did this for you, not them. Now we're to the fun stuff. As you lose you will need to buy new clothes. Then more new clothes. You will start participating in life, doing things you weren't able to before. Pre-op I made a list of 50 things I wanted to do after surgery, then crossed them off as I did them. Little things like fitting in a theater seat. Big things like achieving a normal BMI. You'll learn that some of these things are not that interesting after all. And there are other things you never thought of that are oh so very cool. Good luck, Tek

Probably not - that was on our early (first month) diet and I had some the first week, but surgeons know how they are doing these procedures best, and things can vary from surgeon to surgeon (one surgeon may make things more tolerable for such things early on than others). So it is still best to follow your surgeon's guidelines rather than someone else's (and you will get the blame for any complications that arise for being a noncompliant patient, even if the complication has nothing to do with your action.)

We didn't have any pre-op diet, and many surgeons don't need to impose them on their patients. The big question here is what your surgery for? Talking about bile reflux problems, implies that it is to resolve that complication as opposed to weight loss, If you haven't regained substantial weight, there is probably little need to go through with any extensive pre-op diet. A few years ago I was looking at the prospect of a surgery with a bariatric center, though it was for reasons other than weight loss, The RD went through the usual nutritional spiel and outlined their pre-op diet. When I asked her if I really needed to do that as I didn't need to lose weight and didn't have fatty liver, she simply said, "let me ask the doctor..." since she didn't have the authority to make that decision. (The answer was no, I didn't need to do it.) So, if your weight is normal-ish and you don't have any liver issues, there is little value to the diet (other than the usual day before thing to ensure a clear GI tract. Curiosity here - what are they doing to resolve the bile issue? The DS will knock it out for sure, but few surgeons can do that. Moving the roux limb further down? Just curious.

This is a 2nd hand experience but my cousin and I had surgery just days apart. While I was struggling through the 10 day liquid diet, his surgeon did not require ANY pre-op diet at all! I asked him how he was doing with the pre-op and he looked at me like "what's that?" 😀. My surgeon said the pre-op diet helps to shrink the liver and makes things easier to work with in there. But my cousin did fine and had no complications. So I know of one person who didn't do it and had a successful surgery.

Thank you! I'm going in for my preop appt this morning. I imagine that my diet will start soon. I did do the H. Pylori test! I was convinced that I had it, because of how miserable I was feeling. My PCP's office called and said it was negative. However, when I went in for the consult regarding endoscopy/conoloscopy the doctor there said the results were positive! I was shocked since my PCP said negative. The nurse had to do a double take, because I told her that I was informed that it was negative. The doctor came in and explained that it indeed was positive. Anyhow, I was given antibiotics and an anti-acid. After the 2 weeks treatment, I was feeling AMAZING. My stomach was no longer feeling bloated. I was so happy. Then came metformin. Here I am feeling miserable again. I'm not sure if it's metformin or I need to get a test for H.Pylori again. I'm going to ask the surgeon. Is it my gastritis, metformin, or H.Pylori is back? Ugh... can't wait to kick the health issues to the curb. Go Sleeve! 😆 I know December feels like a long way right now, but before you know it, you'll be posting what a success your surgery was. Try to use this time to keep informed and do your research. Keep your mind busy on positive things which means you night have to avoid the news and politics! 😜 I spent time on this site and some other forums reading everyone's experience. One could never know how our bodies will react to the surgery, but I'm not going into it blindly. I'm making a conscious decision knowing of the many possibilities. A common thread that I noticed is that the individuals who did have some complications, were still happy that they went through with the surgery. I found that to be a remarkable testament. Exciting days awaiting for us.

I had two fears: 1) Not losing weight...I am, so yay! 2) Not being able to eat out and go out with my friends...even at 2 1/2 months, I have been able to go out and have an "almost normal" dinner. I took my sister out for a "Magical Dining" meal for her birthday, three courses at Ruth's Chris. I had a few bites of the lobster bisque, most of the lobster bits (no bread), about half of a 6 oz filet and two (absolutely delicious) bites of cheesecake. It was yummy and so worth it! I brought the leftovers home and my sin really enjoyed them! (He still won't eat in a restaurant!) I didn't fear death or complications, and suffered from neither! Good luck!

Dying was number one. I don't want to leave my 9 year old son or husband. Fear number two was that it wouldn't work. What if I paid all this money (I was self pay since our insurance doesn't cover it) and still couldn't lose weight? What if I put myself through this major surgery and still couldn't lose weight? I'm 3 months post op and it's working. Fear number 3 was complications. Sent from my Nokia 7.2 using BariatricPal mobile app

Thanks Ms. sss - it certainly is a tough call. I paid $16,000 in 2009 for the lap band that is now being taken out. MGB will be an additional $19,000. Believe me, I am all for investing in myself but its a hard pill to swallow if it is only for another 5-10 years. The trend seems to be after a certain amount of time, people are following low cal, exercise, feel like they are starving themselves and nothing is happening. Weirdly enough, weight gain is my least worry. Sure, it will frustrate me, but any medical complications scare the bejesus out of me! I'm hearing ulcers and yet more revisions? I'm 50 now; I don't really want to be having surgeries in my 60's and 70's when the risks become greater. My surgeon/clinic provides support etc for 5 years. I think that says a lot as well. Its not lifetime. One side of me says, just do it - you have read enough to know it will help you stay on a healthy lifestyle. And the other says, get a personal trainer and have him/her weigh you in 3 days/week to be accountable. I don't have to make the decision today. I am grateful for site's like these that can assist in decision making. Back in 2009 there wasnt much support for the lap band.

Briar Rose - yes, its a huge decision and major surgery. I hope we can make the best decisions for our health and well being and not think we are taking the easy way out. Reading these posts there is no easy way about it and can have some long term ramifications. Don't get me wrong, I am still intrigued by the surgery; however have fears of complications and weight gain of course. It will cost me $19,000 to get the revision done. So it needs to make sense to me.

Yes but not nearly as tight as yours. After I was converted from VSG to RNY (for stricture & other reasons) I developed a stricture! I had dilatation to reopen the anastomosis to an appropriate size and it worked 🎉 It may take a few more dilatations, but they do tend to help. I believe it can happen when a person produces excessive scar tissue (me) or inflammatory response to surgery, etc. Try to stick to the diet stage you are advised be on now to prevent further complications while you heal. Good Luck ♥️

I had my RNY on 07/01/2020. Everything was going well until the first of September when I started having issues keeping food down. My doctor did a endoscopy on 09/14/2020 and found that the opening from my stomach to my intestines had closed up. I ended up in the hospital for 10 days and they redid my surgery on 09/21/2020. I went in yesterday 10/19/2020 for another endoscopy and they found that the opening went from 30mm down to 3mm and they had to use a balloon type thing to try to reopen the hole. I have to go back this Friday 10/23/2020 for another endoscopy so they can try an open the hole even bigger. Has anyone ever had this type of complication?

I believe in therapy and have used it whenever something comes up in my life that is hard (i.e losing my husband, closure of a large plant that I worked at and my Mom). Mother daughter relationships can be complicated and once you add addiction to the mix it gets downright hard. I highly suggest Al-Anon because of your Mom's addiction but I also think OA wouldn't hurt. Try a few meetings. I also think that food addiction is part of the reason I am the weight I am. One therapist said to me "If someone pushes your buttons......move your buttons" Whenever I was going through a particularly hard time with my Mother I distanced myself, not as a punishment for her but as survival mode for me. Through the years I discovered that my Mom had NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) and this helped tremendously. Although she was never diagnosed by a Doctor I worked with my Doctor to see how I could still love my Mom yet work on myself. Your work is your work and her work is her work and we are all at different levels of maturity (not age) but emotional maturity. Do your own work. Focus on yourself and hopefully you will be out of the house soon. When things get tough inside the house............go outside for a walk....go visit a friend...go walking with a friend. I wish you success on your journey

First.... i did have fears.... the first WLS (band) i feared the same as everyone else... Death, failure, regain of weight. Second time.... Because i told no one except my husband... death and not having told my kids and family. Again failure and gaining back. Having a complication and having to cancel my wedding which was a month after SX. @Smitty74 Goods: Health, and knowing that you are doing this to make positive changes in your life. Confidence in knowing that you are taking control of your life and that most things will get better. I like walking with my head held high knowing i look better. I always hung my head and looked at the ground. Hated shopping (still dont care for it). The feeling of ..... WOW i just did that (fill in your own). I still want to go sky diving, i want to do a long hike, I want to go to an elaborate Ball and look like a million bucks. I want to buy and wear a really sexy Halloween costume and feel great in it. Bads: How people treat you before..... I've seen and felt both... before where you feel invisible (men actually hold doors open now). People pass and don't give you the time of day, won't help if in trouble, look at you with terror when they think you will sit next to them on a plane. How your own family will sometimes treat you...... they try to stop you from doing the SX because of their fears of your dying, that you will leave them. Partners will sometimes discourage you because of their own insecurities.... Mine did, he said ... You don't need WLS you just need to diet and go work out as you did before and stick with it (then ask you to bake a cake). He said that my personality changed, and I know it did. I wasn't that easily controlled person anymore. He controlled everything in my life because I had zero confidence and felt like I didn't deserve better. After I lost, I gained confidence, and the things I settled for in the past I no longer settled for. No longer did I just agree with everything he wanted. I wanted things too... I wanted to go out and be an active member of society (he was happy sitting on the couch). I had so much built-up energy... I no longer wanted to settle for sex 2x a year. He told me from day one of our marriage that one day we would divorce. Turns out back then he was cheating on me (i was even smaller than i am now). I thought that if i lost the weight he would want me again.... Nope, turns out losing weight tore us even further apart. His insecurities really came to lite. In the nearly 8 years i had the lapband he cheated on me (i didn't know for sure, but my gut knew). He would insult me on a daily basis about my WL. Tell me i look terrible, a bag of bones, ugly, wrinkly, and that i needed to gain the weight back. And for a little while, I did put on 20lbs to make him happy, but I was starting to get depressed again. I snapped out of it and lost that 20lbs and begged him to go to get help, but he said no, that there was nothing wrong with him..... it was all me. After 25-26 years my marriage ended. I lost close friends that couldn't understand my new way of life. They were happy being large and happy with themselves. And it think thats great for them, but it was not for me. So when they would ask to go eat out, they couldn't understand that I no longer took joy in food. That food was just some to keep me alive. I wanted to go to the gym an exercise.... for me it took the place of food and it now brought me joy. So the loss of a relationship with a partner, the loss of friendships, the loss of my favorite foods. Even the loss of some of my comfort clothes. Getting rid of my favorite pants and tops.... the ones I wore because they hid most of the flaws.... The sagging skin is not fun either. The losing hair. The having to learn to THROW OUT FOOD.... that was bad.

Hi there. For me it was the other way around - I really wanted the bypass but my care team determined that it was medically contraindicated for me. I tried hard to change their minds but in the end I went with their recommendation. I was disappointed, but it turned out okay, I didn't have any major complications and the surgery has been effective so far. However, in my case, there was an actual medical reason why the bypass was extra-risky for me. I got a 2nd opinion and the 2nd doctor agreed it was contraindicated. In your case, it sounds like the surgeon just feels the bypass will be more effective? If there is no medical contraindication, it seems like after being told the pros and cons, you would be allowed to choose the surgery you want. What would happen if you just said, "Look, I understand your reasoning, but I'm not comfortable with the bypass. I want the sleeve."? Would he refuse to do it? Could you get a 2nd opinion? Maybe if another doctor indicates that the sleeve is a viable option for you, your surgeon will relent. Have you shared your concerns about the bypass with your surgeon? Maybe with more information, you'll be more comfortable with it? In any case, it doesn't seem right for you to be forced into a surgery you're not sure you want. You're the one who has to live with it, so you should be calling the shots (assuming there's no medical issue preventing the sleeve). I'd revisit the issue and get more information, then decide for myself one way or the other. Hope it all works out for you!

Children of alcoholic parents often get stuck in a care giving role of responsibility for the parent. They end up being thrust into a parental like role, which is enabling and unhealthy. You are NOT responsible for your mom, for her decisions, for her lies to the doctor, for her weight loss or lack there of, or for her long term success or failure. You are only responsible for YOU. For heavens sake, go to your OWN follow up appointments and let her go to hers. You are each on your own journeys in this. She is not going to stop drinking or smoking because of this surgery, and she may well develop complications because of that. You are not responsible for that - SHE is. She has you wrapped around her little finger. You can love your mom and wish the best for her, but you cannot live her life for her. You have one big job right now and that is to take care of YOU! Get yourself out of the house and back to college. You are putting your own success at risk by trying so hard to ensure your mom's success - but that is HER journey, not yours. I strongly suggest you get to some Alanon meetings and learn how to be supportive without enabling, and how to take care of yourself. Please do this, or get some kind of counselling. Alcoholism is not a benign disorder. It deeply affects all members of a family in profound and damaging ways, You are on a whole new path now - a path to a healthy, long, happy life. You will be making many dietary and lifestyle changes, and I can tell you are determined to do this well and be successful. I truly believe you will achieve your goals in this. Be warned that your mom is probably going to try to undermine you, as her own progress slows down because of her compromises. You need to be as far away as possible so you can disconnect yourself from her issues. Your own life is complicated enough, and a responsible young lady like you does not need to be looking out for Mom. She is a grown up and can look out for herself and make her own choices. Please use this time to get healthy in every way - including mentally and psychologically. Some counselling regarding the alcoholic influence will be very helpful. Very best wishes to you.

I had the sleeve, not the bypass so this may or may not help, but... I had also had multiple abdominal surgeries prior to my bariatric surgery. My surgeon did say the surgery took him a little longer than usual due to adhesions and scar tissue, but it was nothing he couldn't handle. I haven't had any major complications either. I know everyone is different, but that's how it went for me. ☺️

I had a few fears: 1. Dying, as many others mentioned 2. The recovery time/process. For whatever reason the pain and stages of food afterwards really freaked me out. 3. Changing my relationship with food and missing some of my old favorites. 4. Complications like staple line leaks. I am currently five days out from my surgery so I can’t offer any long term advice or insight, but I can tell you was ecstatic when I woke up and was actually alive. The pain isn’t as bad as I imagined it would be, but it’s there (incision pain and internal stomach pain when sipping)... and one thing that happened that I didn’t initially fear was that my surgeon found a mass on my liver while she was operating so now I have that to worry about once I heal from my sleeve surgery. I’ll have to have an MRI and biopsy in a few weeks. I’ll add that I’m only 35 years old so I’m hoping it turns out to be nothing.  But, I’m still glad I did this, my long term health is finally a priority for me and I needed this tool to get there.

I had two major concerns: 1. Complications from the surgery, including dying on the table. I was so freaked out that I burst into tears as I was being wheeled into surgery. As it turns out, I did have a complication: my pouch leaked and I had to stay in the hospital a couple of extra days. However, it was easily fixed and did not affect my later success at all. 2. Never being able to eat "normally" again. I was afraid that I would never again be able to enjoy food or eat the things I loved. 18 months out, that's not an issue at all. I'm certainly not eating like I used to, but I eat a variety of foods and don't feel at all deprived. In retrospect, I'm eating normally now--and I wasn't before.

Pretty much the same as what others have already said! Complications - The main reason I took so long to have the surgery (I first looked into it about 15 years ago) is that I've always been lucky enough to have good health, and I was afraid that I would have complications and end up being sick and in the hospital all the time. I actually didn't worry that much about dying, but I don't have any dependents. In the last few days before surgery, it occurred to me that I should put my affairs in order just in case. I intended to leave some notes on my work in case I died and someone had to pick up what I was doing, but I eventually decided, "If I'm dead, work can be someone else's problem." Surgery getting canceled/delayed - I had a fairly narrow window to get the surgery at a time that wouldn't conflict with any major commitments, and I was afraid I wouldn't be able to get in that window because of COVID, insurance delays, issues discovered during pre-op testing (I had this feeling that they would find a problem on the EKG the morning of surgery, or that I would get COVID right before surgery), and then I'd have to wait until next year to do it. The pre-op process seemed a little too easy and I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Not losing weight/regain - I live in fear of regain every single day. I've been on a lot of diets and lost a lot of weight, only to regain it and more every time. I've heard of people getting WLS and regaining all the weight, and wow, that would be devasting, to go through all of this and end up back where I started. I'm doing great now, but I have this nagging knowledge that I've been here before, succeeding at weight loss for a short period of time, but I've never been able to sustain it in the long run. I actually had very little concern about my appearance since I looked horrible at my heaviest and it could only improve. I wasn't bothered by the thought of having loose skin because I think loose skin is far better than the alternative (skin full of fat). I never thought I would consider plastic surgery, but now I'm jealous of the results of people here who have had it, so I'm not so sure anymore (I still have a long way to go before I get to that bridge, though).

Mine are: The surgery not working Vomiting right after surgery Complications My age Not telling my kids about the surgery

I have not been advised to give up smoking but have read enough to know that it can cause complications with Ulcers and the obvs none related health issues. I am on day one with a patch, ive never smoked alot but im scared ill find it all to much with quitting sugar, alcohol going low carb etc. Anyone else in similar situation? Sent from my SM-G960F using BariatricPal mobile app

1. Dying during the surgery 2. Complications that result in me being more ill afterwards than I was before Depressing but true!

My biggest fears are: 1. Dying- I am the breadwinner for my family, have two young children, and two elderly parents with dementia I take care of. I need to be here because there are a lot of people counting on me for pretty much everything. 2. It not working- I feel like I hear so many horror stories of it not working, or people losing only a small amount of weight before nothing happening. I know it generally works, but you can’t help but be concerned that you might go through all this for nothing. 3. Regain. This is not my first rodeo with weight loss. Over 10 years ago I lost 150 lbs (without surgery) and had an amazing experience being “thin” for the first time in my life with all the accolades, pride, etc that comes with it. Only to gain it all back plus a lot more. I am doing everything I can to try to make this time different but I’ve done it to myself before and I’m terrified I’ll do it again. 4. My freaking insurance finding some dumb loophole to deny my surgery that they submitted for last week! Or Covid causing elective surgeries to be cancelled again and my husband losing his job that has the Bariatric coverage medical insurance before they resume surgery. Or basically some new reason that I get denied after so many years trying to make this work. 5. Complications: a leak, chronic issues, being nauseous forever, a clot, having to have the surgery revised later due to gerd, or any other issues that I can think of. So basically what are my greatest fears? Everything, it looks like. Ha!