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I understand completely what your husband is feeling being a post-op husband myself. Not having a huge stomach and thighs in the way changes intercourse dramatically. One can get in there more completely, which gives much better sensation than before. Then their the whole idea that he is feeling much better about himself. Heck, his excess weight was probably a huge motivator in doing oral sex in the first place. He may have felt he was not satisfying you with intercourse so performed oral to ensure you were happy. Now that he is happy with intercourse and feeling like you are both being satisfied oral is less necessary. Some clear and honest communication on wants and needs may help in understanding the situation. Guessing is more often wrong than useful. Good luck, Tek

Hello everyone!! I know I did a bit of a vanishing act, but I have things to report in. First of all - I hit a really frustrating plateau that lasted about 3.5 weeks from around weeks 7-10. That had me feeling pretty bummed, as it was post-two month check in and I had been feeling great about my progress before switching from purees to solids. I had last posted about hearing somewhat contradicting information from the nurse and Nutritionist. I had been told that I didn't need to really worry about staying on keto because I wasn't eating much as long as I hit my protein goal and by the nurse to try to stay Keto because eventually I'd get this great burst of energy from going into ketosis. WELL -- After doing some research I found out that the thing your brain tells you would be the worst thing to do - EAT MORE - was actually the solution. I started bringing in more vegetables and an occasional grains while sticking to mostly lean meats, plus using a protein shake for breakfast to keep me on track with my protein goals. I was already using Genepro; and I since picked up one of the Whey protein powders in a chocolate plus some of the PB2. That did the trick! I have started allowing myself an occasional 'cheat' type meal on days that I'm locked in on my protein, and find myself often meeting my protein goal and then some - more like 70g of protein per day rather than the minimum of 60g/day. The result of spreading my meals out - breakfast, three hours later lunch, three hours later 'dinner' and three hours later 'protein snack' if I'm still hungry - DID IT. My energy is up now that I've been walking more and giving my body more fuel. I am seeing the weight loss finally, and even when the scale doesn't show it right away I'm seeing my measurements shift and the way my clothing fits feeling different. I had purchased a cute pair of jeans about a week before my surgery and a button down short sleeve gingham shirt. At the time I couldn't get the jeans all the way up over my thigh; and now they fit loosely. My bras don't fit properly and I already had to buy one in a smaller size. I'm turning down plus sizes clothes I like that I find at the thrift store for pretty much the first time because - they're too big. I'm borrowing shirts from my Mom that I handed down to her previously and other friends handed down to her rather than me because she was a 2x/3x for a long time (mostly due to her chest) and I was a 4x+. I can feel where my arms have gotten smaller in the way shirts don't feel snug in the arms, shoulder, and chest area. I've gone down 2.5 ring sizes! All in all, I've found that portion control is still a big deal, but so is listening to your body and remembering that if it sends you a message about hunger, there is a reason. I DO have to focus on making sure I drink enough water, but the Baritastic app has helped me keep my sugar low. Even if I do hit over 30g of carbs in a day it's rare and because of something like beans, rice, or vegetables. I'm feeling more comfortable loosening the reins a bit on how strictly I adhere to my diet - although I still don't do anything carbonated, do minimal caffeine, and keep sugar very low. The idea to bring your own tupperware to restaurants along with a cooler is really smart. I'm not in an organized group exercise of any kind yet but I do have personal goals like trying to get in over 10k steps three times per week. I'm working my way up and have gotten to an average of around 5k steps each day, which I'm very proud of. My calorie deficit is usually 800+ calories less taken in than what I'm burning via exercise per day, and this week I have lost almost 6 lbs due to exercise and losing the bloat from my first period post surgery. I wanted to mention that - I did miss my first month's period and my second month's was late. As to exercise - I feel the activity in my back and as a low ache across my lower abdomen mainly, which I think is a result of using those core muscles and the way my figure is redistributing the weight on my joints. I'm shopping Marketplace to add weights to my exercise and still use my exercise bike when the weather isn't nice enough to walk. OH! And Old Navy has an amazing 50% off sale on their website right now and I just finally ordered myself some pants in two sizes below my pre-surgery size! I'm so excited for them to get here. Best wishes all, keep up the amazing work and be kind to yourselves!

Stalls are very normal. I am a week ahead of you surgery-wise and stalled around the same time and around the same weight (bouncing between 201 and 203 for about 3 weeks). My highest weight was also similar to your, although I had lost quite a bit before surgery, so actually my post-op loss has been much smaller. I've read that somewhere in the 3-6 month range it's common to reach a stall. It generally has nothing to do with your eating or your exercise. It's just an internal metabolic thing. Remember, weight loss from surgery is not immediate. After the first several weeks of rapid loss, you will slow to 1-2 lbs per week, and it will take 1-2 years to stabilize. This calculator can help you figure out how many pounds you might lose at each month mark by inputting your starting weight, height, age, and other factors. https://riskcalculator.facs.org/bariatric/ And this one shows you the likely results for years 1-3: https://michiganbsc.org/DecisionTools/

**Trigger warning: domestic abuse** My name is Georgia, I am 27, and I have been 'bigger' for my entire adult life, and a lot of my childhood too. I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) insulin resistant type, and an Underactive Thyroid, both of which cause me to put on weight quickly, retain weight, and makes losing weight extremely difficult. I can't even remember the countless amounts of fad diets I have been on, or the amount of times I have tried to lose weight, but failed again and again. When I was 18 I was going to the gym 5-6 times a week for over an hour, I was doing HIIT training and Tai Chi, and I was jogging, eating well etc, but I still only managed to lose 2 stone in a year - make it make sense! I didn't know back then that I had underlying conditions that made it hard for me to lose weight, so I internalised a lot of the guilt in not being able to get healthy, and it resulted in me putting on around 6 stone from then until now. I was also a victim of domestic abuse/violence, and a lot of the verbal abuse that I suffered was centred around my weight - constantly being told by my ex-partner that I was fat, he would pinch my thighs, tummy, arms etc, telling me he was seeing how many inches I could lose. It completely broke me, and I started binge eating in secret. He ended up leaving me, telling me that he could no longer be with me due to my weight and how it made me sexually unattractive. I think I am probably just over 20 stone now. My back hurts when I walk, I cannot look in any mirrors without feeling low, I don't feel comfortable going out in public, and I am exhausted all the time. Every time I went to my GP about something, I was always told I needed to lose weight, as if it were a miracle cure and so simple to do just by trying hard enough. It was always blamed on me not putting in enough effort - and those in the UK will know that the NHS isn't a simple thing to navigate and the waiting lists for obesity support are long and often disheartening. Around 2 years ago I was put on a waiting list for weight loss management with the NHS. I was finally accepted in September of 2023. This is a year long commitment to the weight loss management pathway (Tier 3), in which you have to lose 5% of your weight in order to then be put on to another waiting list for a referral for the actual WLS (Tier 4). I have been told that this can take a further 4-6 years. I had a harrowing thought that by the time my WLS actually came around, I'd be well into my 30s, still desperately unhappy with myself, and I would have put on even more weight and probably be immobile. I can no longer do this to myself. I deserve better. I made the decision to look into private weight loss surgery, and I had a free consultation with a recommended surgeon just before Christmas 2023. This was genuinely the first time that a medical professional sat me down and talked to me with some humanity about my weight. He told me that with my conditions (particularly the insulin resistance, and hormonal imbalance), that my metabolic rate needed an entire reset, and this was not possible to do without surgical intervention. He explained that the difficulties I have had in trying to lose weight and being unable to, are not my fault (though of course I accept responsibility that getting here in the first place is my fault), and that surgery is recommended as perhaps the only thing that will enable me to lose the weight. I have never felt so seen, and so heard. I booked in my surgery for May 2024 there and then. So, now I start my journey, and I was looking for support, and here I am. I look forward to posting on here and using this thread to update everyone once I have had my surgery! I am quite an open and honest person, so if anyone wants to reach out to talk, my inbox is open

Heya! I have an underactive thyroid & PCOS and I am about 5-6 weeks in now I think? I can't even keep track at this point 😂 But I definitely have been going through a stall! I went from losing 3+ lbs in a week, to just staying still give or take 1 lb. It is very very frustrating, but it is just our body trying to recalibrate and it'll soon realise it isn't in danger of starvation, and it'll stop holding onto everything and weight loss will resume!

First of all Happy Birthday. 🎁 and congrats on your 20 pounds loss and your first non scale victory (the stairs) 🎉. The chili was a really good choice and good for you sticking to a couple of bites of the cake. Your husband sounds super sweet and supportive. They actually have a birthday cake yogurt too. I can’t remember what brand it was but went I seen it I was like ooh I’ll have to remember that. I do log my food. I actually use the Baritastic App and it has worked great so far but i ran into a snag with it tonight. I made Turkey meatballs and it does have Turkey meatballs in the database but I’m pretty sure they are smaller than mine were because one meatball was way less calories than I estimated. I wish it had a way to add a recipe and say how many servings you had. I like the app because my phone is always with me and it also notifies you to take your vitamins and to drink and all that if you set it up. Plus you can log your measurements and weight. The book certainly is sufficient too if that’s what works for you though.

@AndreaJD your advice about the weight loss discussion with others is great! I’m definitely using that one and thank you!! Good luck on your surgery tomorrow, like you said, eyes on the prize! @Justarwaxx mine is on the 14th too!! Are you doing the Gastric Bypass as well? I’ve been told I’ll only be in the hospital 1 night… we shall see. Omg, my husband ate pizza for dinner… he was at least nice enough to eat it in another room, but still… i could almost kill for a piece. But again, eyes on the prize. I keep having to remind myself. 2 more days of this and then my life is changing. All our lives are changing for the better, which makes it worth it. You guys stay strong and good luck this week, I know a lot of us are on the roster this week. Be strong and positive vibes everyone!! I look forward to hearing from everyone after their surgery, keep us updated!!

I am asking for your help/advice. I am a physical therapist and I underwent my own bariatric surgery in 2022. I am looking to develop a unique bariatric program that provides exercise programs and support to people undergoing rapid weight loss whether from surgery or from medication. If you guys could answer a few questions for me it would be greatly appreciated and would help me build my practice! 1. Did you exercise before surgery? And what was your biggest challenge? 2. Would you have benefited from a preop physical therapy appointment to develop a customize strength training program that took into consideration your current limitations and orthopedic issues. 3. how were you educated on post operative activity and physical restrictions? Would you have liked a week by week guide on what activities you can return to and when? 4. Were you educated on exercises to maintain muscle mass through your first year postoperatively? 5. What kind of exercises did you do postoperatively in the first year? Did you hire a personal trainer? Join the gym? Search online? 6. Did you develop any new or worsening musculoskeletal pain as you were more mobile and your body composition changed? 7. Let me know if you have any other ideas on how having a physical therapist on your bariatric team would have benefited you both before and after surgery. Thanks so much everyone. I may be piloting this program with a few patients. Email me if you’re interested (I’m licensed to treat in N.C.) contact@localpointpt.com

Well I took the advice or the veterans who did or do yoga now and ordered some smaller legging because mine were rolling down. I thought I was maybe getting close to being near the next size but apparently I was already there. They looked so small that I thought there was no way but I tried this and they fit (comfortably). Also today I told a friend that I am planning to check out a craft show that is near her this weekend and asked if she wants to go for a while. Well it’s going to be hot and we are planning to meet up and do lunch first so since can’t get away with bike shorts and them and leggings are all I have right now I was on Amazon looking for shorts. Well I found some that looked good and apparently I thought that before too because it said I purchased them in 2023. So I looked In my drawer and sure enough I had two pairs of them brand new and would you believe they fit perfectly. Good thing too because I was ordering a size bigger and wouldn’t have had time to exchange them. So I guess I am reaching the stage where I can shop in my closet for a while. Ooh and my brain definitely hasn’t caught up with my weight loss because the shorts and the leggings both looked like they were going to be way too small.

I'm definitely nowhere near an unhealthy bmi ON PAPER, but I also know my body. I can see and feel my bones sticking out. My husband and kids hug me and they feel my bones and tell me I feel like I'm gonna break if they squeeze me because I feel fragile now. I look like I'm losing muscle, and frankly, I feel really weak compared to how I use to feel. I have permanent circles under my eyes. My hands and feet are boney and veiny and my skin literally hangs off my body, including my face. I'm always tired, even though I get plenty of sleep. I'm one of the curvy, big bones girls. I carry my weight in such a way that I can weigh more but not look like it. So right now, I look sickly. But more importantly, I don't feel right. I feel not great, which is the opposite of what I wanted when I started this journey.

If it was the “easy way out” then people like me wouldn’t need revision surgeries. It’s just a tool and if you don’t do your part it doesn’t work so it’s certainly no magic wand. Don’t wait until your body is in worse shape. Your still young and with a little help you can change you life significantly. Aside from the fact that they are wrong scientifically and statistically, so what if it was the “easy way out.” Do these people bear their clothes against rocks or use brooms instead of vacuum cleaners? Do they believe that power tools are the easy way out and refuse to use them? The fact is housework still sucks and carpentry is hard regardless of whether you have the best tools or not. if you think of weight loss As a task like laundry, surgery would be the washing machine. If you only had one or two loads to do you could probably get it done by beating it on rocks and avoid the need for a special machine but when you are obese and have a lot more loads to do you need a washing machine to make it possible to get it all done. The surgery is just a tool. Just as you don’t wake up from surgery never having to do laundry again, you won’t be able to lye around and eat bon bons and just lose weight. If you don’t do your part for laundry your washing machine will just be a dusty machine in the corner and your laundry will pile up. And like me if you don't do your part with the surgery, you won’t lose what you should and the pounds will start to pack back on. Be kind to yourself. You have a very complex disease that requires medical intervention. An intervention that you deserve just as much as someone with heart disease needs medication or surgery. Don’t let the ignorance of others stop you from doing what is right for yourself and your life. You deserve all the help you can get to accomplish whatever goal you set out to do and anyone that says that they wouldn’t do the same thing is not really putting themselves in your shoes.

I APOLOGIZE!! It got long but I wanted to add some background. and the regret comes from nervousness that I won’t enjoy food. And no desire to be really thin but being disabled mean getting/ keeping weight off will be difficult according to the bariatric surgeon I am 5’2. Majority of my weight is my thighs. I do have a belly, apron belly.

Does anyone have a detailed I guess EOB regarding weight loss surgery approval and denial from Tricare (more specifically Tricare East/Humana). I know what their website says, but it doesn’t give much info at all. Thanks!

That's an amazing amount of weight loss in such a short time (even if it may feel like longer, lol). You look incredible. I'm so happy for you! (re: lbs vs inches, I've always cared more about the size measurements rather than the weight. I only care what the scale says because it's easier to track how I'm doing on a given week -- but I'm much happier when my clothes start to feel too loose compared to anything I see when I look at the numbers between my toes)

I had to do the diet when I had the sleeve surgery 2 years ago AND when I had the revision 1 year ago to bypass. Some surgeons require 2 weeks, some require 1 week, and some only 2 days. Just depends on your weight, bmi, and surgeon preferences. My first time, I had to do 2 weeks. It was all liquid. I was on protein shakes, bone broth, protein pudding, jello, Propel drinks, protein gatorade, smoothies. I was 421 pounds when I started it and 388 the day of surgery because of that diet. It sucked, but was very effective. Thank goodness it wasn't anything I would need to do long term, because no way, no how lol My 2nd time was for a week. It was slightly less strict. Same liquids except I could also have things like 1 meal of ministrone soup, protein yogurts with fruit in it, or hummus, avocado spread, and cottage cheese. This one was much more tolerable, and while I did still lose weight o it, it wasn't as much and it wasn't as bad. Still sucked, though. But at least I knew it was for a very limited amount of time. Both times, I knew it was worth it to make my surgeries as safe as possible. That was the most important thing to me.

out with the gals last night...had margaritas with a side of guacamole and chips for dinner omg. i kept meaning to order a proper entree, but just didn't get around to it so just ate the leftover chips and guac that was on the table... the margaritas alone were like 800 cals! so warning to those drinking mixed drinks during weight loss phase! keep your calorie counts in mind! one of my margaritas!

I’m so sorry to hear this. I wish I had some words of wisdom for you, but honestly, I don’t. During these days of the stall, are you still noticing that your clothes are fitting looser? I was told not to be so dependent on the scale but more on noticing the weight coming off as far as how I feel in clothes. I don’t recall if you have a dietitian or someone that you check in with? If you do, you may wanna contact them or contact your doctor and talk this over with them. I don’t doubt that more weight is going to come off, I’m more concerned about your mental state. No giving up, OK??

Wins -- Well, I let myself have a few more carbs yesterday, bringing my net carbs up closer to 30 when they have been running in the teens or single digits the past eight weeks (one other time in the 30s on a day I had chili) and seems to be so far so good. I started spacing out my three meals to having more like 4-5 meals per day every three hours and find that works SO much better for me. It also helped me get past my 3.5 week stall that lasted about a week. I went out walking a couple of times this past week and also started using my exercise bike. Noticed that walking around is not leaving me as sore and my stamina is increasing. I also had a couple of NSV - I had to scoot up my car seat a bit, was able to wear a pair of jeans that were WAY too tight before my surgery, and I tried on a shirt yesterday that used to be tight in the arms and across the shoulders and found it fit comfortably! I'm starting to get comments on the weight loss being visible, so that's nice. Portion sizes remain very small - I don't dare eat more than 1/2 - 3/4 of a cup of combined foods per meal. I did add in a few bites of things that aren't just protein based, and that has been a nice switch.

I felt hunger from the first week post op, it never disappeared. In fact I was starving on the first week of liquids. at 10+ months post op some days I feel ravenous (especially on days I lift very heavy) and some days I'm not interested in eating. How did/do you cope? To be very honest the first week is very hard and generally the first 6 weeks are tough not gonna lie. I hated eating soups and mushy foods. I hated the feeling of my restriction but what made it all worth it was the progress I witnessed on a daily basis. The pounds were melting off and I was so ecstatic about that. Do you have/need coping mechanisms in place- if so what? I traveled. That really helped, I traveled at 3 weeks post op, 3 months post op, 6 months and 8 months post op. I went back to exercising and took up Pilates. I regularly checked in with a friend who's had VSG before me. All these things helped me cope plus the weight melting off!! Does it get easier? It really does. You will look and feel better, you will re-learn how to eat and it'll be okay. Do you have any helpful advice for a newbie like me? Take it one day at a time. Don't be too hard on yourself. Don't compare yourself or your progress to anyone. The first few months are a gift, use them but also free your mind of food anxiety and accept that you are not perfect and you will make mistakes and learn from them. Oh and indulge in movement you enjoy (it makes a big difference, physically and mentally).

So I'm considering getting the gastric sleeve surgery. I'm almost 40 years old and weight almost 440 pounds and have a BMI of 67 and ive tried literally everything to lose weight and nothing has worked. I've never lost more than 20-30 pounds at a time.Bariatric surgery is really the last option for me. So I'm in a bariatric program right now and we've decided that the gastric sleeve would be the safest operation for me. The problem my team including my surgeon is trying to address? I'm schizophrenic and Bipolar and take Antipsychotics. I've maybe gained 100 lbs over the course of trying meds since 2011 to find the right medicine combination. Right now I'm taking Latuda and Seroquel for antipsychotics. My GP has stated over and over again that Latuda might not be the greatest medicine for me to be on because it requires me to consume 350 calories in order for it to work properly. But reallym the medication does wonders with me. When/if I get bariatric surgery that's going to be a challenge for my bariatric team finding a meal or snack that I can fit those calories in. Not to mention my surgeon has mentioned that it will be an extra challenge for him to try to work around my anti psychotics. He didn't say it was impossible but he did call it a great challenge. I guess why I'm posting here is to ask is, is the gastric sleeve an option for me? Or should I consider the switch instead? My bariatric team pretty much flat out said that the bypass would be too risky of a surgery to do with me and they don't do the lap band anymore and my bmi is too risky for the lap band anyway. But before I go and permanently change my stomach I'd like to know what my options are. My team hasn't really been forthcoming and just seem to want to do the surgery as soon as possible. But, I'd like it to be a success as well. Especially when the sleeve is a permanent change to my body.

I'm so relieved to see that I'm not the only one flagging here and there. I was doing great up until about midway through last week, going on my walks and trying not to look at the scale because I REALLY wanted to see it tick from just above 300 down into the 290s - finally I weighed in and was SO frustrated that I sat at like, 301 for several days. I'm still there now, too. Another thing - I had bought a pair of size 22 jeans and they fit great so I bought a couple pairs of size 24 I found at a thrift store and was heartbroken when they didn't fit! I'm coaching myself as to the reality that the size 22 I'd bought were super wide leg all the way up vs the ones from the thrift store that were more 'fitted' - being the reason they didn't go up over my thighs. I can see the 'bat wings' on my arms, constantly am having to shift my rings around, and am losing in my back/bum area but my thighs are still my problem. I looked up some exercises I have been trying to do to promote a strong core and hopefully reduce visible belly fat/ excess skin in the thighs and arms, but I backed off some on my exercise over the weekend for sure. Per my Fitbit my average is still high, but I feel awful if I don't get in at least 5k steps per day now. I know I'm getting ready to start my period any day so HOPEFULLY after this comes and goes my weight will have another significant drop. @Justarwaxx and @ShoppGirl - You are both doing so great! It's always nice to pop back on here and see your updates

I am not sure, she just told me that "your going to lose more weight so in 8months your going to come back to me and want me to tuck more, because your so fresh I want to see if your WLS surgeon would rather you wait" I took it as coming from a good place without her saying you should wait to get better results? Idk I could be way off though.

Best decision right! Wish I would've made it earlier. Never would have thought I was capable of everything that I have been doing. Weight lifting, what?! running 2.5miles with my pup, who me?! Still having the energy to play with my kids and spend time with my husband without falling asleep. Wow! This is truly a second chance at life so lets take full advantage!! Happy to have you on this crazy and fun ride!

Purely my experience - when I lost a lot of weight previously, I had a lot of pains in my hands and feet. Had the usual blood tests and everything was fine. My GP wasn’t convinced and booked me in for a different blood test and an ultrasound scan on my hands. Both confirmed that I had seronegative rheumatoid arthritis. I’ve cut & paste the following from the RA website, just in case it may ring a couple of bells with you: Some of the most important symptoms in diagnosing seronegative rheumatoid arthritis include: Joint pain, stiffness specifically in the hands but also in knees, elbows, hips, feet and ankles Joint swelling and redness Joint tenderness Symmetrical symptoms and in multiple joints Ongoing inflammation Morning stiffness lasting longer than 30 minutes Fatigue Eye redness I may be way off but this was my experience. I was 43 when I was diagnosed and just entering perimenopause (which also has an effect on having the symptoms and being diagnosed RA too) I hope you find some answers and some relief.

Yeah I've been on almost every antipsychotic under the sun. It took doctors a long time to find one that worked for all of my symptoms since I'm both schizophrenic and Bipolar. Vraylar had the worst side effects out of all the ones doctors have tried over the years. I was actually going to give up hope because I had been on so many different meds. So I'm under as much control as possible now. It's enough to keep me out of the hospital anyway. Good luck with your weight loss journey too I hope you reach your weight loss goals. I know for women it's extra hard to lose weight.