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Hello All- i posted for the first time just about three years ago with some anxieties as a spouse with my wife prepping to undergo the gastric sleeve. I originally noted being concerned about our lifestyle changes, relationship impacts (I had heard all the horror stories) and most of all health concerns into the future. The community was incredibly supportive and I had learned tips and useful knowledge that helped me coach and support my wife through it. I am happy to say we are better than we ever have been and her self confidence is through the roof. However the MAIN reason the surgery ever was even considered was to get her diabetes that started while she was pregnant with our first child and got very concerning bad with our fourth has still stuck around and caused issues….. First- this is Life changing not just for the partner getting the surgery, but the spouse too. We used to be foodies and that all had to go out the door. Same with alcohol. Two bites and you are full, a pint and you are drunk. So activities, dates, etc. and new hobbies should all be prepared for well in advance. Luckily we are both athletes and coaches and this allowed to have an outlet that wasn’t our prior foodies and beer/ brewery culture pastime. Two- Relationship, anyone who tells you that this leads to automatic divorce/ break up is paranoid or lying. Out of her support group offered by our health network, I think only 1 or 2 of about fifteen women ended up separating and that was from the other spouse cheating. I have to say that in many ways, after four kids and all our activities, youth sports and coaching- it created a second honeymoon period for us and really strengthened our romance and relationship because we both focused on our health again jointly and the magnetism increased dramatically. Third- It might not fix the problem…. We did not jointly go into the surgery for cosmetic or weight loss reasons. It was the diabetes and the doctors said it was a solid shot to cure or mitigate the disease. It was for a while, but it keeps back up. despite healthy eating, despite exercise and coaching, despite the surgery- medications came back into the picture and so did the celebrity weight loss drug (which is really supposed to be for diabetes…) This has been keeping everything under control but is a case of the cure being as bad as the sickness. The side effects are brutal and definitely have a quality of life impact, but we both want to live to see grandkids someday….. Fourth- dysmorphia is VERY really. We are both naturally larger people. I was a lineman in high school and college and she was a softball catcher in high school and college and ended up also playing women’s rugby there as well. Even with the surgery she went from an XL to L but she got her college/ high school figure back and as such her confidence went through the roof and started dressing like she hadn’t in years. With the medication though??? Her figure, face shape, everything changed. Down to a Small or Medium. For almost a year and a half she hasn’t recognized herself in the mirror. It’s a double wham with the surgery and the medication. Between her best friends and myself (we have all been in the same friend/ team group since college) the support was to have fun with it and go with the flow. Instead of worrying about it (the dysmorphia) it was embrace the change. All new clothes she could never wear before, she’s been a redhead now and then blonde and still is. Cut her hair shorter, started wearing makeup (never really did)- all just to try and put a positive spin on it. I’ve been the spoiled recipient of having a brand new girl (don’t think I haven’t romanced and spoiled the you-know-what out of her), but at the end of the day it’s been mitigation of all the life changes. The last part has been the most detailed because it’s the most recent and to me has been the most impactful- NOT having the surgery do its intended purpose and the dysmorphia we’re both very difficult given the efforts and life changes made. We’ve done everything we can to make lemonade out of those lemons though. We had an anniversary vacation better than our honeymoon this past summer (she has always been way out of my league and these days it’s very much over the top- I feel incredibly spoiled) and we have made time to ride our bikes together with our oldest babysitting the kids and we come to each others games when we coach. I would tell any spouse; husband or wife of someone who is going to have the surgery and then or also do all the meds: 1. Support. It’s a huge deal and you need to show up. 2. Don’t get insecure about your relationship because of the surgery. If you are worried it means you might not have a great relationship to start with…. 3. You will need to change your life too. Because of my size and my weight lifting, I need a lot of protein and calories. I will never look like a Hollywood star (like she now does) and always an NFL lineman- BUT- if I bring a cannoli, pie or a full growler into the house in addition to steak/ salmon, etc it’s teasing and not fair. You will need to learn self control to support your spouse… 4. Inspire and come up with ideas for positive re-enforcement. If the dysmorphia or depression sets in, you need to find fun things to do, supportive steps to take and positive angles to keep things going. 5. If you are doing all this as a spouse, what about YOU??? Are you going to die a martyr? Take care of YOURSELF too. I go lifting 3 times a week, go fishing in season. And for my 40th birthday when she asked what I wanted?? I got us a long weekend on the Cape, bought her some dresses I wanted to see her in and sent her to get her hair, nails, toes, eyelashes, etc.. done. Said I wanted a long weekend with my movie star wife. It was a great time, kid free and continued to strengthen our marriage. Anyways- why am I writing this? Posterity? Self reflection? Not really…. I just want to give Spouses a roadmap. It’s a huge change and you need to navigate the waters well. If you do you will benefit as much as your loved one. Good luck.

So glad you're here! There is so much idiocy in the medical community regarding weight and weight loss. Doctors literally know 95% of people cannot physically lose more than a small amount of their weight and keep it off, but they act like everyone can except you and they can't figure out why you're not doing it. Imagine if they told diabetics they couldn't have insulin until they used their willpower to lower their blood sugar on their own, just to prove they take it seriously. As for your ex partner, I hope on your behalf that certain parts of his anatomy shrivel up and fall off. You deserve better, no matter what weight you are at. It's hard not to internalize that kind of abuse, but remind yourself as often as you need to that he's garbage and did you a favor by taking himself out.

I am outwardly fierce and confident. No one but my doctor, since high school has ever dared to mention my weight. I would deck them. Now they just say wow you look good, your new hair style suits you or think my husband has a mistress. There is loads of Exorcist head turning going on when we go out together. What they are saying behind my back has not as yet been heard by me. I am a big believer in Karma. What goes around always comes around with a heavy hammer.

**Trigger warning: domestic abuse** My name is Georgia, I am 27, and I have been 'bigger' for my entire adult life, and a lot of my childhood too. I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) insulin resistant type, and an Underactive Thyroid, both of which cause me to put on weight quickly, retain weight, and makes losing weight extremely difficult. I can't even remember the countless amounts of fad diets I have been on, or the amount of times I have tried to lose weight, but failed again and again. When I was 18 I was going to the gym 5-6 times a week for over an hour, I was doing HIIT training and Tai Chi, and I was jogging, eating well etc, but I still only managed to lose 2 stone in a year - make it make sense! I didn't know back then that I had underlying conditions that made it hard for me to lose weight, so I internalised a lot of the guilt in not being able to get healthy, and it resulted in me putting on around 6 stone from then until now. I was also a victim of domestic abuse/violence, and a lot of the verbal abuse that I suffered was centred around my weight - constantly being told by my ex-partner that I was fat, he would pinch my thighs, tummy, arms etc, telling me he was seeing how many inches I could lose. It completely broke me, and I started binge eating in secret. He ended up leaving me, telling me that he could no longer be with me due to my weight and how it made me sexually unattractive. I think I am probably just over 20 stone now. My back hurts when I walk, I cannot look in any mirrors without feeling low, I don't feel comfortable going out in public, and I am exhausted all the time. Every time I went to my GP about something, I was always told I needed to lose weight, as if it were a miracle cure and so simple to do just by trying hard enough. It was always blamed on me not putting in enough effort - and those in the UK will know that the NHS isn't a simple thing to navigate and the waiting lists for obesity support are long and often disheartening. Around 2 years ago I was put on a waiting list for weight loss management with the NHS. I was finally accepted in September of 2023. This is a year long commitment to the weight loss management pathway (Tier 3), in which you have to lose 5% of your weight in order to then be put on to another waiting list for a referral for the actual WLS (Tier 4). I have been told that this can take a further 4-6 years. I had a harrowing thought that by the time my WLS actually came around, I'd be well into my 30s, still desperately unhappy with myself, and I would have put on even more weight and probably be immobile. I can no longer do this to myself. I deserve better. I made the decision to look into private weight loss surgery, and I had a free consultation with a recommended surgeon just before Christmas 2023. This was genuinely the first time that a medical professional sat me down and talked to me with some humanity about my weight. He told me that with my conditions (particularly the insulin resistance, and hormonal imbalance), that my metabolic rate needed an entire reset, and this was not possible to do without surgical intervention. He explained that the difficulties I have had in trying to lose weight and being unable to, are not my fault (though of course I accept responsibility that getting here in the first place is my fault), and that surgery is recommended as perhaps the only thing that will enable me to lose the weight. I have never felt so seen, and so heard. I booked in my surgery for May 2024 there and then. So, now I start my journey, and I was looking for support, and here I am. I look forward to posting on here and using this thread to update everyone once I have had my surgery! I am quite an open and honest person, so if anyone wants to reach out to talk, my inbox is open

Dr gave me Allopurinol that I took for 3 months. My last blood check was good, so he had me stop taking it. I haven't had gout before, but this weight loss is bringing it out.

Update....still only at 228 as of a few minutes ago....although I started my period nice and a week early. So maybe that's it? Idk....but it's been almost two weeks with no loss....kind of disheartening BUT I'm still holding out hope that this will work! I know I'm not overeating...so it's not that..

Sorry, such a newb question but I have been scouring my profile where I would easily update my weight loss? Any direction would be amazing. Thanks

My highest recorded weight was 341 pounds, but I lost about 70 pounds before surgery. I'm almost 3.5 years out and I'm in the mid-130s now. I didn't expect to lose this much; I wasn't really hung up on a specific number, but I think my original goal weight (based on average WLS data) was about 180. It was initially fairly easy to lose weight after surgery (the "honeymoon period" when my restriction was very strong and my hunger was almost nonexistent), but it took a lot of effort to get to where I am and maintain it. I've completely changed my diet and eating habits and I work out a lot (at least 90 minutes every day). A lot of my life revolves around diet and exercise to maintain my weight, but I still enjoy food and eating at least as much as before, and I have discovered a love for a lot of healthy foods. After losing over 200 pounds, I do have excess skin, and I don't currently have any plans to have plastic surgery. I have a flabby belly and sagging thighs. I have a little arm flab but not as bad as I expected. My butt and chest are quite deflated. I'm never going to have a bikini-ready body and I accept that. A shaping cami works wonders to hold in the belly, and flattering clothing can hide the rest well enough that no one would guess that I used to weigh more than twice as much. I care much more about the non-scale victories than the number on the scale, and for someone who started at a super morbidly obese weight, getting to my current size is a whole new world. My health has improved in so many ways -- my blood pressure is normal, lipid panel is good, and my doctor undiagnosed type 2 diabetes. I used to have a hard time finding clothing in my size, as I was too big for even "plus size" clothing at some stores (I used to wear size 26/28), and now I can find my size almost anywhere (I am now size 6/8 or medium/large). I used to struggle to walk short distances or a couple of flights of stairs, and now I can walk miles without breaking a sweat and glide up 10 flights of stairs without stopping. It's amazing how much easier it is to get around when I'm not carrying the weight of a whole extra person. I used to be hyper-aware of people judging me for my weight, and I dreaded meeting people face to face, knowing that they would think less of me when they saw my size. It is hard to describe the emotional burden that has been lifted by not having to worry about people making negative assumptions about me based on my weight. I have not had any direct complications from the surgery, but because of the rapid weight loss, I developed bradycardia (slow heart rate) and had to get a pacemaker. That's been rough, but overall, I am far better off having had the surgery and losing the weight.

I had the Sadi DS in Nov 2014 with a 40 bmi, just under 300lbs as a 6'1 male, age 54 at the time. I had your concerns so I'll summarize: I had too much weight loss initially and did look like a cancer patient for about a year. I gained back 27 lbs and have stabilized at 162lbs, still thin. I can eat anything now and get gas and bloating. A VSG would have worked initially for me but I would have gained most of the weight back long ago. I still often eat like **** but get nutrition and exercise every day. At 63 I can do things that I couldn't do decades ago, look good for my age, and pay the price for poor eating decisions with gas and bloating until the next am. All in all most people would take this deal in a second. Below is a relative size and fitness before and after:

I'm sorry to hear you we're denied. Just keep pushing them. It amazes me that insurance companies refuse to pay for bariatric surgeries and weight loss drugs BUT have no problem paying for a lifetime for the health consequences of being obese. I know I'm going out on a ledge here for potential condemnation but..those same insurance companies will pay for gender reassignment surgeries AND reconstructive "cosmetic" surgeries for gender reassignment (that in the long run is cosmetic to align with how patient perceptions are - no different than skin removal mentally) but they won't pay for some just as necessary bariatric surgeries and skin removal surgeries! Both can be mentally debilitating! I always thought perhaps a class action lawsuit forcing insurance companies to pay for these things is what's needed. No one elects to be obese and insurance companies treats obesity as "its your fault" you're obese so they won't pay. I wish you luck, preserver and eventually you'll get it! Lastly, I'm told bariatric surgery is cheaper in some states if you have to pay yourself, so shop around and research research research making sure you have a good bariatric team! Also, make sure that if you do go out of state that they don't have a long travel restriction like mine did (90 days) first! Good luck!

You're welcome! The allulose has been great for me as well! Good luck on your weight loss journey!

I had my VSG on December 15th, I started my purée phase on the 27th. So much better than the liquid phase. I feel great and so happy to start a new year on the downslope of weight loss!

Hi, I had the Sadi DS in Nov 2014 with a 40 bmi. My common channel is 300cm and I have no issues with malnutrition as long as I take vitamins albeit less than a Hess DS patient (non-Sadi). The less is more theory has worked for me, meaning a longer common channel gave me 100% weight loss and kept it off while keeping me from being malnourished. I can eat a horse and not gain weight, although eating poorly will cause gas and bloating.

At two months I was slowly trying a variety of meats. Just made sure they were tender & moist & had a sauce or gravy. I was allowed to eat most cooked vegetables (except potatoes) though struggled with the flavour of some because my tastebuds were still weird & that can be a real challenge. Could only eat a little bit like a small cauliflower floret or two green beans. Will your family know about your surgery & would the bride/groom be willing to tell you what will be on the menu before hand so you could try a few things before? I would avoid chicken breast as it is renown for causing issues (too dry), anything char grilled or well done steak. Would also pack a shake &/or soup you can easily make up or keep in a thermal pack just in case. Can be hard to judge how much you will have lost by then as rate of loss differs & starting weight influences how much you may lose too. I started at 200lbs & lost pretty consistently. I’d lost about 12kg (26lbs) & was a good dress size almost two down at 2 months. I had a 40th birthday around that time & I bought a loose dress (not floaty more it nicely fell). I could easily belt it & was still able to wear it two months later. It became my ‘good dress’ for a while. Maybe look for something as close to the wedding as possible & go for something with an elastic waist, can be belted, or easily taken in if needed so you can wear it for a while after.

@SomeBigGuy sorry to hear you got Covid. My two girls got it before Christmas. I still have never had it. you seem to be doing really well with the weight loss. Thanks for your kind words. We will see what the surgeon says at my next appt 2nd Jan. he is deciding of going down the bypass stage. But will have a definite answer as he has me booked in on the 11thJan.

Congrats on the 16 years of success! As we get older, our metabolism likes to mess with us, haha, but this is common. My surgeon told me that after a while, some weight regain will occur, but the best way to restart things is to redo your pre-op diet for 2 weeks, just to jumpstart things. His plan is at least try to get 64oz of water a day, start with 2 protein shakes for the two meals a day where you typically eat less. On the "big meal" each day, try to get in 6 oz of meat/protein of your choice along with as much leafy greens/broccoli, cauliflower, celery, cucumbers as you can. Cut out breads, starchy veggies (potatoes, carrots, etc) for the 2 week duration. Target 60g-80g of protein, and under 50g of carbs per day (not quite keto levels, just reduced). Calorie target was around 600-1000 per day, but it is meant to be temporary and not long term, just a jump start. From my personal experience, sugar/starchy carbs tend to send my cravings off the deep end for up to 3 days after eating them. I'm having to avoid bread, cookies, cake, candy, tortillas, wraps, potatoes, carrots, rice, and oatmeal whenever I start to regain. Some artificial sweeteners seems to set me off too, but I am a recovering Type 2 diabetic. I haven't isolated which ones affect me yet, but I can drink Fairlife protein shakes without having that sugar craving, and it has Monk Fruit, Stevia, and Sucralose. First day is absolute hell, but after 3 days it eases up considerably. Give that a try for 2-3 weeks and see if that helps with the weight loss. After that time, start working in your normal foods again, but give them a few days to see if any are triggering the new weight gain to happen again to see what's worth keeping. Slowly increase your calories to find the amount that works best for you long term. You want the range that lets you have the energy you need without weight gain. Some people may be only 1000 calories, others 1200, and others may be closer to 1800, so there's no exact number that works for every single person. Good luck, and I wish you well on your journey!

I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. I was denied by my insurance company for years, got a pre-approval in 2021, and then denied again after I started the program. I had to do months of song and dance to meet their requirements, and then they just dropped me. I appealed repeatedly, and they gave me some BS response like the governor of the state that my insurance is based in effectively declared all bariatric procedures as elective and unnecessary. I ended up having to save up and do some self-financing to have a self-paid procedure. It was stressful in the planning phase, but I am happy with my decision. The surgery team was very helpful, and are staying in regular communication 5 weeks out from my surgery. It is like a smaller used car payment (not a new car price at least!) but it was manageable. I had my Gastric Sleeve done in the US as I was unsure about going to Mexico. I can't speak to the specifics on the pricing, but MX seemed to be generally half the price or less than the US, but it can be a crapshoot for the level of care. Some in the US have some room to negotiate, but a lot are firm on pricing. Just do you research, take a break, and redo the research again to be sure if you go the self-pay route. Hoping your insurance comes to their senses and assists you with this. While this isn't a cure-all or "easy mode" approach to weight loss by any means, it is a very useful tool that will help your overall health and quality of life!

This is coming from a guy, so take it with a grain of salt. I had to go to an event requiring a jacket and tie last week, which was 6 weeks after the pre-op diet (4 weeks post op) weight loss began. When I put on my suit I wore previously in September, I looked like a little kid trying on his dad's clothes. I needed a shirt 3 sizes smaller than my previous, but only 1 size smaller pants. I would suggest waiting to shop until about 2 weeks prior to the event because its hard to predict where you'll be at that point. As far as the foods go, after having the sleeve done, I'm ok with some foods that I probably shouldn't be ready for yet (ground beef, salmon, high fiber/low carb bread which I have since cut back out since its not diet friendly), but others that I should be ok with are making me feel sick (leafy greens, broccoli, canned tuna). Again, I would just assess where you are a week or two out from the wedding, maybe ask them what is on the menu, but maybe plan to pack a diet-friendly snack in your bag just in case. Congrats again on your surgery!

Just checking in for the first time in a couple weeks. Surgery was on Nov 20, and doing well from that, however, I caught covid just before Christmas, so haven't been able to do much this week. It's still hanging around making work difficult, but luckily I can work from home. Just hoping its gone by next week because this sucks. Besides that, I had a stall with a 3-5lb regain for about 2 weeks before it started dropping again, but things are moving along again. That "week 3 stall" is real, so don't get discouraged by it, the weight loss will resume. @Meisha - I can relate, I had the Christmas + covid pity party, and ate chocolate and cookies I shouldn't have had, and I did not tolerate that well at all, lol. I guess in a way it was a good reminder to get back on track. Suddenly I wasn't as tired of protein shakes after getting sick from that.

I started at 373 lbs. Two years later, I was down to 138. I had the expected "bounce back" regain in year 3 (unfortunately, I went over the expected "bounce back" weight of 10-20 lbs - but then, I'd lost a crap ton of weight - more than a lot of people) as GreaterFood said, 65% loss of excess weight is average, but as with any average, there are lots of people who fall above or below that. It all depends on how compliant you are with your plan, and your motivation. I was more than ready to get rid of that weight once and for all. I didn't originally set a goal of a normal BMI; I told my surgeon that I wanted to get to 200 lbs, which at the time seemed like a pipe dream - but I blew through that. I switched goals a couple more times, the last one being a normal BMI. I was told that was a bit unrealistic as only about 10-15% of their patients manage to get there, but I made it (and btw, that 10-15% stat is backed up by some of the research articles I read, too). but even if I'd only made it 200 lbs, I would have been overjoyed. I looked 100% better at that weight than I did at 373, of course - my health was much better, and I could finally do all the things I wanted to do but couldn't while I was super morbidly obese. life is absolutely terrific. I wish I had done this YEARS ago - and I would go back and have it done every year if I had to. I never dreamed I could be at this weight and I am really enjoying my life as a "normal" person again!! excess skin - I had a ton of it, but it was easy to hide in clothes. However, I eventually had it removed because I hated looking at it. But I'll attach a picture of me from BEFORE I had plastic surgery. You'd never know by looking at the pictures that my torso, especially, looked like a Sharpei puppy, but it did. Other than the scars, I have a normal-looking body now.

As @summerseeker was told, 65% or so weight loss is about the average excess weight loss for Roux-en-Y (RNY). Personally, I find such averages to be next to useless. I'm not average. Heck, it's axiomatic that the average person is not average. At any rate, what to expect. My plan is forever. From day 1 post-op I was intent that I would never be on a weight loss diet ever again. My plan is foods I enjoy that fit my life goals. No crash diets. No counting calories, carbs, or whatever. No weighing myself at home. Working out is one of those things everyone agrees needs to be done which I didn't do. Ever. There is nothing like exercising for it's own sake. No thanks. I did do a lot of walking, what my spouse and I call 'people watching.' When I got down to about 100 pounds overweight I challenged myself to run 5K. I did a plan similar to "Couch to 5K" (C25K). When I got to 5k I realized I enjoyed it, so I kept doing it. I started binge running. Running was a time just for me, that I could contemplate the coming day and listen to audiobooks. A great start or end to a day. Long story short, I ended up running 5 marathons. That is something I never thought I'd do. I got to run across the Golden Gate Bridge. Extra skin for me was inevitable. My deflated stomach hung way down. To a lesser extent all the places one would expect extra skin I had it. I started with an Abdominoplasty, after which a bleeding disorder almost killed me. No more elective surgeries for me. So I've had to get used to things as they are. Not the end of the world. What life is like now. I've been my current weight for about 17 years which is a weight loss of a bit over 500 pounds. I am still happily eating to plan. Some of the things I wanted to do after I lost weight I didn't end up doing. Other things I never thought about I thoroughly enjoy. Mostly, things just got easier. Good luck, Tek

I dont know what weight you are so its really guess work. I did a 3 week pre op diet and with 2 months post surgery weight loss, I dropped 40 pounds. If you do the same and bought your outfit, maybe your clothes would not fit. I really had a struggle with food after surgery. At 2 months I was just about getting the hang of it. I would not have eaten regular food. Soup, milk, yogurts and cheese were my staples at that time. If I had to go to a function I would pack myself a emergency pack, just in case. I had massive drops in energy and needed lots of little meals to pick me up. I still carry protein bars and a drink.

Ok I just checked your bmi. You're 5'1" (157cm) and 231 pounds. That puts your bmi at 43.6 which puts you in the obese category. So actually, the bypass will help with that, as well as your other health issues you have going on. So I'm not worried about the weight loss now, which was the biggest concern I had. I think, between the weight loss and the other health concerns you have and your inability to eat, you will do extremely well with the bypass.

The sleeve is never, ever recommended for someone with reflux or GERD. It's known to make it so, so much worse. I didn't even have it and the sleeve created it. My concern is that the bypass will cause significant weight loss, and if you're already not that big (231 pounds = 105kg) then it could be an issue. However, depending on your height, it might actually get you within normal height/weight proportions and get you into a normal BMI (body mass index). I can tell you, it WILL alleviate your GERD issues, your inability to eat anything, and get rid of most of what's causing your pain. You definitely will get your life back, and the recovery really isn't bad. You'll need to be careful with how much sugar and carbs you eat, and you will definitely eat much smaller portions, but give the current issues you have I think that might actually be a good thing. Going based off only what you've told me, I really think the bypass will be a good thing for you. I know it sounds scary, but I promise it's not. Especially when you consider everything you've already been through, and the benefits of the surgery itself.

Hi! I’m kind of new here. Just had my gastric bypass, route n y, surgery on December 19th, 2023. I’m looking for some other stories that started at a weight over 300. I started this journey at 338 and I’m feeling like I’m not seeing a whole lot of people who start at over 300+. Kudos to the people who start earlier, I’m just looking for similar stories to mine I guess. My projected weight loss is about 124 pounds but I’d like to hear some other opinions on how much people have lost at being at a higher weight. What’s a reasonable expected amount to lose? Or what is realistic to expect for weight loss starting at 300+ in terms of everything like excess skin, working out, what life is like now? I know everyone is different. Just Curious. Thank you. 😊