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Jaime, First of all, please don't call yourself a failure. You're not. You have to realize that we all have a food addiction. An addiction, not unlike, drugs, alcohol or cigarettes. It's been our obsession for many years. Sometimes, it takes more than a Lap Band to get us on our road to recovery, There is a reason, we overate in the first place. Have you considered seeking therapy? For me, I was just so ready to do this. I had been diagnosed as a pre-diabetic, I had PCOS and I had just been diagnosed with arthritis. I was scared straight! Just like when I used to take my juvenile probation clients to the state pen, I was scared straight! So scared of becoming a full blown diabetic, and so afraid of ending up in a wheelchair from my arthritis, that I felt I had no other choice. I had to force myself to make huge changes in my life. The Lap Band was the tool that I needed. With that being said, I must confess, it wasn't easy. Like I said above, I am a food addict. I overate for over 20 years. Food was a big part of my life. It took the place of feeling loved, of feeling wanted and of feeling worth. I had to find my motivation to get on the Bandwagon and stay there. I learned many years ago that I do best with a very strict regimen. I can't fly by the seat of my pants. This is odd since I am the least type A personality - you'd ever meet. BUT when it comes to meeting goals, I have to make lists, I have to make plans and I have to be very strict with sticking to them. The same happened when I graduated from college with my triple degrees at the age of 19. I had to make studying my life. It had to become me. The same when I returned to school for my nursing degree. I had to eat, sleep and live my studies. I have done that with my Lap Band and my new lifestyle. It has encompassed every part of my being. EVERY part of my life is associated in some way to my new lifestyle. My advice to you - is don't give up! You just got a fill today! A time for a new beginning! The Lap Band is good at giving us new chances to start fresh! Sit down and make a list of reasons why you want to be successful. List everything you can think of! Your health, your happiness, smaller sizes, more attractive appearance, better sex, all the NSV's available with a new body. List them and post them somewhere you'll see them daily. Then return to the good ole Bander Rules. Portion control is a biggie if you don't feel you have restriction. Measure Measure Measure! Buy yourself some pretty little measuring cups, several different sets if you want, I have 4. Measure all of your food 1 cup to 1.5 cup per meal. Eat slow, take tiny bites and allow your pouch to stretch properly. Write on a paper when you've taken your last bite. Don't drink anything for an hour. Then drink your water, crystal light, tea or whatever you drink. Get your 8 glasses in - through out the day. IF you get hungry before your 4 hours, that's okay, focus on foods that will feed your body. Foods that will help you meet your protein goal of 60-80 grams a day. Nuts, cheese, a boiled egg, hummus, whatever you want in that area is a good snack. Eat your snack. That's okay, if you're hungry don't starve, but make good nutritious choices. Log onto www.fitday.com or www.dailyplate.com or anything other service that helps you track your intake. List everything that enters your mouth. Try to keep your fats down around 30-40% of your total calories, if you're consuming carbs, if not, than a higher fat % is okay. Start moving your body. Don't try something that is impossible. Start with 5 mins a day for 6 days a week. 5 mins, walk in place in the morning or afternoon take a 5 mins walk. Anything, but do it everyday. After meeting the 5 mins a day for 6 days, increase it to 10 mins. There are three components to working out - Frequency, Duration, Intensity. Get the Frequency down first, then increase the time and lastly, once you're on track with 6 days a week, 20 mins a day, then you can increase the intensity. Don't do it all at once. Give yourself time to form a habit. 3 weeks makes a habit. Jaime, I have faith in you. I remember meeting you the night before you were banded. You were excited, motivated and ready to start your new life. Don't lose sight of that excitement! But as you know, it takes work. I know you can do it. Be smart about it. Plan to be successful and you will. Believe you can do it and you will! Truly, you can do this! I know you can!

I too had a glass of wine 2.5 weeks after my surgery, while celebrating my childs birthday. We had a friend in from out of town, and she and I would easily drink a few bottles of wine in a night. That night I had a glass, maybe 2 at the most. I drank them slowly and cautiously. They did go right to my head. This was a controlled situation, I was at home, and in a safe location. (I wasnt driving or anything) I agree that you should check with your Dr first. I told my Dr after (at my fill) he didn't say much, but what can he really say after the fact? He told me to be very cautious with alcohol, because it will affect me differently now, and watch the empty liquid calories.

I had my first drink 15 days post op. I've had a total of two other drinks since then. As others have indicated, my doctor's office cautioned about the empty calories in alcohol. I planned the calories into my daily total. And, yes, I did feel the effects of the alcohol much sooner. You know, it's amazing how long you can nurse a drink - particularly a glass of wine. Enjoy the party with your friends. And decide what works best for your new lifestyle. Best wishes.

Thank you! I'm one of those lucky people who had to do a six month supervised diet, lol. So far I've gained 5 pounds!!! So March 2nd is my final day... I have two appointments between now and then, the cardiologist and the shrink eval, and I have to have a drug and alcohol test! From what I hear my insurance is one of the few who requires that one. :thumbup:

I would say absolutely not. If you are SERIOUS about this whole process, you need to begin to make the right choices. For a LOT of people who are obese, much of the problem comes down to them having made BAD decisions.....eating the WRONG things at the WRONG time in the WRONG amount, for long periods of time. You need to begin making the RIGHT decisions. Alcohol is NEVER conducive to weight loss. And, even a small amount may impair your judgement further, causing you to drink more, and even eat some stuff you shouldn't. Start making GOOD decisions.

Wow! Alcohol after being post-op for about what 2 or maybe 3 weeks??? I don't know about that and I did not do that. I had wine for New Years Eve and to be honest it really went straight to my head. I was banded on 11/11/08. What does your doctor think about this?

No way on earth would I have had any liquor as soon post op as that would be for you. Not flaming, either; I like to drink. But you only got your band on 2/2...don't know where you'll be on your post op diet (for me, I'd have been in full liquids, or mushies, depending on day of diet). You had an artificial device placed around part of your stomach. Your liver (where alcohol is processed) was moved and jostled so that it could be placed. You need to give everything a chance to settle down, heal from any bruising, etc. To drink too soo would be really counterproductive. Many docs say 6 months (or never...) I didn't wait that long. I did, however, wait 3 months. You should call your surgeon to be sure (they are all different) but I think it would be smart to give it longer than 2-3 weeks.

I know I know there are like a zillion posts on here about alcohol and how bad the calories are and everything. But I have to go to my friends 21st birthday party next week and I was wondering, how long did everyone wait until after surgery to drink alcohol? I am not planning on taking shots or drinking in excess, but it would be nice to have a glass of wine with everyone. I handle my liquor really well, and I am very cautious not to overdo things even when I was in college. So please, be honest and let me know how long you waited.. no judgments here... Thanks!

Hi I am an addict in general (drugs, alcohol, food, and definetely shop therapy). If I have it - I spend it. If I dont have it, I find a way to get it and then spend it. I am going to a financial class at church that they are having once a week and what I did last pay period was sit down and write out my budget and then i took out the money i needed for utilities in cash and paid the bills. i set aside money for gas and groceries (in cash) and put my card away. ( i am a swiper). Whatever was left over I could spend on whatever I wanted. It felt good and I didnt have that sick feeling in my gut when I didnt know how much money I had left.

I think your analogy to alcoholics is close to the issue. He's probably reacting to the fear of how his life will change because of your lap band. He needs to learn how to adjust, eventually he'll realize that you can still go out to dinner and he can normally even though you will eat differently. He may feel "pressured" into dieting with you, but if he doesn't want to diet, he'll go back to his old eating patterns soon enough. Look at the bright side, if he's loosing weight, your band has worked for both of you. Would he have the initiative to loose weight if not for your decision? Stay positive and give time for him to see that you're only changing your own eating patterns, and I bet he'll calm down soon. i.e. ignore negative comments for a little while and hopefully he'll tire of making them. If that don't work... good luck.

Hi y'all, Well, the Dr. nixed the coming home already idea! Looks like maybe Friday....whenever, we will wait, I want her as healthy as possible. Jane they showed us how to work the pump, and all today and we will work with it tomorrow ( at least she will) they are going to add a length to the line now so she can do most of it herself. Kinsey is still fighting some sort of stomach bug...the diarrhea continues. Such fun up and down 500 times a day and night! She says her bottom is sick! Manda ask the Dr. about it, he laughed, and told her she was in the hospital with 200 people with the same bug, not to worry about it. The ENT said today that her preliminary blood work looks like his diagnosis may prevail (Please God) as her nuclear something in the blood and her SED rate were lower than the diagnosing guidelines. Had us laughing and floating on cloud 9. Then the CD Dr. come in and told us that may very well be because the flare is easing. Brought us down in a hurry. I took a book to the hospital and sat and read, we took off Kinsey's boots and let her climb up in bed with her Mama and she put on Spongebob----and in a few minutes Kinsey was snuggled up against her fast asleep. Should probably have been a clue she was getting sick! Manda turned the volume down, and within minutes she too was fast asleep. So I moved my chair outside again! The nurse come by and said she would put a sign on the door to check in at the nurses station. I told her it was not visitors that were the problem, it was the CNA's! They all were really good after that! The 2 of them slept for about 2 hours. Then they played a couple of games of Candy Land. She always takes things to entertain herself, today we took the game. Then we come on home. She has spent most of the evening in the bathroom. She is asleep now and has a chewable Immodium in her system, maybe it will help. Judy I agree that your DIL needs to have time to adjust to her meds and all before the stress of caring for a child again. Hope it all goes well. That is such a difficult thing to deal with, it makes you angry at them, then at the same time you kind of shake your head at yourself and realize it is a mental condition they have no control over. And the condition itself makes keeping on a medication regimine very hard. We have dealt with it through the years with the kids Mom. Her problem is the drugs and alcohol mess with the affectiveness, then she is convinced it isn't working so just quits it all....cold turkey and all hell breaks loose! Think I might go try to get some sleep while Kinsey is, it was about 2 AM when the bathroom runs began last night. I have no problem telling y'all I am tooooooo old for this! Hugs~~ Kat

That's exactly it. When we met, I was about 150. Could have stood to lose about 20 pounds, but the food wasn't as big in my life as it became over time. When we dated, everything revolved around eating out. And often during our marriage, we'd eat out 3-4 times a week, which is waaay too much. Sometimes it was just because neither of us felt like cooking, other times it was because we wanted to try this or that new restaurant. I willingly went along for the ride and enjoyed it. Then "one day" I woke up more than 100 pounds over where I was when we met. When you are trying to eat chicken and fish and he's talking about going "just this once" to have that steak dinner or other delight at that restaurant we both love, it can be easy to eventually succumb because you really WANT to have that instead of another. night. of. chicken. It's MY fault for eventually saying yes. I take FULL blame. But at the same time, when he knows that you're trying to behave, why tempt? Because HIS wants come before YOUR needs eventually, that's why. That's my frustration. This time I have essentially laid down the law -- where *I* am concerned, not him. HE can go out whenever he wants, but I won't join him. But that wasn't good enough in our last conversation because he was trying to convince me I can still go. It's like taking an alcoholic to a bar and saying you can be safe and order Water. Yeah, but... When one is in a close relationship like this, the other should not do anything to try to sabotage the other. If he had to do some new training for work over the weekend, I would not put my needs to be paid attention to over his need to do his work and go upstairs and bother him and harass him, you know? This isn't just about vanity or what I want. I NEED to do this. I was staring major health issues in the face, and I was afraid I wouldn't live into my 50's if I didn't do something. I didn't just get the band for vanity's sake (well, that will be a nice side effect, but that certainly wasn't the reason). I NEEDED to do something more drastic, something that would help me. Too many people get the band and feel like, whoopee, I can do anything I want now and eat like before. Wrong. Sadly, I guess so do some spouses. Again, WRONG. One day food may not have the hold on me that it does. Until then, I at least need some support from him in the form of understanding that this is MY cross to bear and I don't need him becoming a stumbling block for me. That isn't really too much to ask, and anybody in any kind of relationship should understand this, no matter how block-headed they are.

I wish I could say I thought it was as simple as that. In his defense, I don't believe that's it. I believe it only has to do with him loving to eat out or eat richly and in massive quantities, while I have to be careful of what I eat. That's why I compared it to two alcoholics and one decides to go on the wagon.

I was being facetious. Good grief, is it a male thing that SO MUCH must be explained with charts and graphs and crayons on paper?? There was nothing mentioned about why I'm married to him or if I love him because my post isn't ABOUT that. It's about being with somebody who is as much a foodie as I ever was but doesn't have the weight issue that I do. I'm making changes, and he's almost acting put out that his eating buddy isn't going along with HIS program. It's frustration. Maybe you've never experienced that. Maybe you haven't been at this long enough, or you don't have somebody you've been with 17 years who can have a tendence to put his wants above your NEEDS. It's not whether I love him or not, this is an issue that I have had with him more than once that has aided me in falling off the wagon. It's like having two alcoholics and one chooses to abstain while the other remains an alcoholic and the change in those people's relationship towards eachother while they try to work out their relationship with alcohol. It's really no different. *Oh wait, I just looked -- hell, you haven't even been BANDED yet, so you have NO idea what I'm talking about. Figures.

You have to find out what is causing them first. Common causes are--certain medications (and certain herbal supplements), excess weight, high triglycerides, drinking alcohol, diabetes, infection, liver disease, gallstones.

I can totally relate - if it's not food, it's cigarettes, spending money, sex, drugs, alcohol etc. It's a disease and it's not your fault. You can cure it. I'm not sure what's available in Australia, but I would look for a 12 step group - they have a Debtors Anonymous (DA) or even Overeaters Anonymous (OA). I promise you the programs work if you work them: Debtors Anonymous Good luck to you - and don't forget to ask God for help.

I agree w/ the I was "safe" before part for sure. My dh is a big time foodie too & we were eating buddies as well. He does not have a weight problem either. This is how I put most of the weight on (us being pigs togther). When I told him I was thinking of getting the band he was upset because he thought i wouldn't be able to drink alcohol or eat at cookouts anymore. Weird! I can do both of these things still.

I'm getting refrains of the 70's song, "When You're In Love With A Beautiful Woman (It's Hard)" running through my head... :thumbdown: Yes, it's as if when we're fatties, we're safe. I am like Shamrock in that my husband met me about 145ish, though I didn't stay that weight very long in our relationship. I can only hope it'll be a good thing. The only real issue I'm going through is that he's being somewhat passive-aggressive about losing out on losing an eating buddy. He's not fat, but he's a HUGE foodie. It's like being with an alcoholic who is still drinking when you decide to stop. It's becoming a real issue for me, and I'm feeling passively attacked over all of this. :thumbup:

TracyK - 'above the rules' has nothing to do with it. The woman is irresponsible and should have her license to practice medicine taken away from her!!! How can you be a CDC physician and not practice proper disease control protocol??? She is directly responsible for spreading the disease she is in charge of controlling!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!! Kat - I do hope you reported her to the hospital administrators. Kat - I hear the desperation in your 'voice'... and I am so sorry. I know how worked up you get and I'm here to tell you that it does no good. Take it one hour at a time, one day at a time. Breathe. You are doing an awesome job with Kinsey, as usual. Just close your eyes and visualize enveloping Manda and Kinsey in a healing white light. Hold them there as long as you can. I'm a believer in this method of prayer for healing. I have a cousin living in Florida who I've been very close to for my whole life. She was going thru a divorce that she didn't want and was having an extremely hard time coping. She chose alcohol to get thru her days. Problem was she was a mother of two young children who she drove to school each day. She'd mix herself a white russian or two for breakfast and drive her girls to school in that condition!! She was a SAHM and drank most of the day. I was on my way to work one morning and as I was driving she was heavy on my mind although I hadn't talked to her in 2-3 weeks. I had this overwhelming urge to pray for her and 'send' that healing energy to her. When I got to work, I found a quiet empty office, settled myself and spent 10-15 mins in that meditation. I swear to you this is true.... 30 minutes later she called to tell me she was checking herself in to rehab. She stayed 30 days and has been sober for the last 10 years. (((Hugs))) and healing energy to you and your family, Kat. We love you.

This post is not really a question, but more about me thinking about my decision for surgery. Since I am pre-op this seemed to be the right place for this post. Me - 66 in March, Male, sedentary occupation. weight - 295, height 6'-0". According to the chart my weight should be 175'ish. My desired weight is 190. Motivation - (in no particular order) Want the ladies to smile at me (again), want to improve health BP and Diabetes, colestoral (sp?). Want to be more active and move more easily. I am a professional and at times give testimony in court so a good appearance is also an asset. Other points - Have longevity in family. father died at age 94, mom still alive @ 94, all grand parents lived into 90's. So I think "Why be stupid and throw away my life?" Hey Hal what is the point of all of this - you ask. The answer is that writing helps me think. I don’t mind putting my thoughts out here for others to see, (and I am open to constructive comments). So here’s where it boils down to - I can see and want all of the obvious benefits, be more healthy, move better, be able to enjoy exercise, look better and feel better about myself. The troubling part is getting there. There is minimal risk in the procedure. There is discomfort short term post op. There is life long restrictions I will be facing. – no alcohol, no grazing on the cruise ships buffets, many of my favorite foods will be off limits. Eating has been a very comfortable social part of my life. I go to my favorite restaurant, and like Cheers – they all know my name and the waitresses know that I want a cup of coffee and a glass of Water when I arrive and then I can wait for them if they are busy. I have done the diet things before, and have had some very good results and other times have only middling success. The way I look at it is similar to the Spanish conqueror Cortez when he invaded Mexico after sailing from Cuba. He ordered his men to “Burn their boats”. That meant there was no turning back. We will succeed or die here. I view this surgery as burning my boat. And that is somewhat daunting to me. I ask that no one say to me “If you have these questions, then you are not ready”. Any thinking person will ponder large decisions. It is a wise man who “Counts the cost”. I feel better for having put this to paper. I want to do more research to see that there is large life after the band. Regards to all Hal

At one of the info nights I attended, the question of alcohol came up. Whislt alcohol is empty calories, my surgeon said that overall, moderate wine consumers tend to lose better than total non drinkers. Moderate means 3 or 4 standard drinks a week. Maybe its a whole set of characteristics - if you drink wine moderately (it does have recognised health benefits) perhaps you also have other healthy practices and perhaps you are also good at practicing moderation in all things. I dont think he was suggesting that the wine itself is magic. But cocktails etc ugh, stay far away.

My girlfriends do not know I was banded. They know I am training for a marathon, which is causing me to make healthy food choices and not drink alcohol, which is all true. It is always best to talk to your doctor about what you can or cannot consume. My doctor asks that we limit our consumption of it, because it is empty calories. Personally, 4 ounces of wine puts me under the table now. I am a total light weight now.

The girls in my group are super supportive. They all understand my choice and help me along...even offer to give me a shot in a thimble!!! Don't be so hard on yourself. If these girls are your close friends then they just want your company, regardless of alcohol!

Can we not drink alcohol, or shouldn't drink?? I don't remember my doc saying anything about it. I know I probably shouldn't due to calories. But should we not for other reasons?? I have a girls trip planned to New Orleans at the end of the month, I was planning tossing back a few! And I understand your embaressment, I feel the same way, which is the reason I haven't told everyone I had the surgery.