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Exactly why I didn't tell many people beforehand. I think 5 people knew I was having it done, not including my parents. They all found out after, and I still haven't told people (family/friends) that I have had it done, if anyone asks about my weight loss then I will say something.

It's hard when it comes from family members, but I think its inevitable because every family and circle of friends has "that a**h***". If they're the kind of person the judge someone for the weight loss, they were already judging before the weight loss. Take pride in knowing that you live rent free in their head tormenting them As for you, just keep up the good work! People who haven't experienced it don't realize the work that is still required, nor the pain/discomfort that is experienced in the weight loss surgery process. Especially for people who's metabolism is just naturally geared toward not eating much or staying small. To them, they falsely believe that since it is so hard for them to gain weight by forcing themselves to eat more, then you must have voluntarily forced yourself to be overweight. They don't realize how foolish that concept sounds because they've never walked in your shoes. If they don't choose to make the effort to understand, they never will. It is hard brushing it off from people that are close, but as I mentioned earlier about living rent free in others' minds, don't let them dwell in your head. Evict them and go on about your day!

The Week 3 stall is real! I stalled and gained 6lbs back between weeks 3 and 5, and just now lost it back in the last week. I've had several people tell me weeks 3-6 will generally have a stall and a slight regain due to your body panicking over the rapid weight loss, and readjusting its baseline, so it is part of the process. I've also been told a second stall/regain will occur around the 3-month mark, and last up to 4 weeks, so prepare yourself for that. I'm bracing for that coming up soon. Keep in mind the weight loss won't be like a straight line, more like stair steps with the occasional bump back up before dropping again. Just stick to the diet, and switch to weighting weekly to prevent obsessing over it (like I did haha). Also, several months from now, as you approach your goal weight, remember that gaining muscle through exercise will make the number on the scale go up, but that's a good thing. Muscle weights 1.5x as much as fat, so as you gain it, you will continue burning off fat, which is the "bad weight". About 1 year out, you won't worry as much about the scale, and will celebrate the wins in smaller clothing sizes, more energy, and better endurance/stamina! Regarding the caloric intake, my surgeon and team recommended I keep aiming for 800-1000 calories per day, but I am a 6'1" male, so my base caloric rate may be higher than yours. I would check back with your doctor or nutritionist to be sure, but I think 1200 is closer to the target after 1 year. Also prioritize water and protein first, followed by unsaturated fats, then try for any carbs/sweets/starches/breads and saturated fats last. My plan has me targeting less than 50g of carbohydrates per day, not low enough for keto, but enough to keep the sugar cravings and fat retention down. You may need to check your macros as well. Best of luck to you on your journey!

I had my gastric sleeve done in 2018, so have a few years experience. I couldn't eat anything for at least 4 weeks post op, and then it was a tiny teaspoon of mush at each meal. It took me hours to get through a protein shake of 300ml. By the time I finished the breakfast one, it was time to start the lunchtime one! And so on to dinner... 1200 calories seems huge to me at 3 weeks. I was struggling to drink enough water at that point. My tummy was so tiny. Even if I drank too much water, I would vomit, because my stomach was too small to cope. I still suffer that vomiting if I am too ambitious with my portions. I wouldn't be able to even get through 1200 cal now, unless maybe I went on a strict no carb, high protein plan. Even then it would be a struggle. High protein foods are SO filling. I love fish and seafood, but I can hardly eat 2 tbs of grilled salmon at a meal even 6 years out. I lost 90 pounds in 6 months, luckily no skin looseness... very fortunate. I have slowed my weight loss and then plateaued at 120 lbs loss. If I was you, I would go back to your protein drinks, and go from there.

sounds like the infamous "three-week stall" that most of us experience (our first major stall - and the first of what could be many). Best way to deal with it is to stick to your clinic's eating plan and stay off the scale. Stalls usually last 1-3 weeks. They're aggravating, but they're a normal part of weight loss. It's just your body stopping to recalibrate once in awhile. 1200 calories seems like a lot for being so early out - I didn't hit that until I was more like a year out - but your surgeon may have his reasons for that, and I'm no medical professional. if you want to learn more about the stall, there are literally over 17,000 posts on it on this site. Just do a search on "three week stall". I am NOT kidding about the 17,000+ posts. It happens to almost everyone.

best way to avoid the comments is to tell no one. i thought i could avoid it by telling the 5 people i am closest to AND trusted not to tell anyone: Mr., The Kid, Sis, Mom and BFF. Surprisingly, it was Mom and BFF who were the commentators. Mom asked why can't i just diet, and that she was scared for me to go under the knife for an elective surgery and to pls reconsider. I told her yes, i'll think about it, and did it anyway. BFF said something along the lines of "people use cliff notes to cheat on writing essays, this is your cliff notes for weight loss!" I let slide her poor attempt of a joke as we go way back, and i love her. I answered back along the lines of, yep i'll need all the help i can get! ...and did it anyway. though i will say i got way more (unwanted) comments as i lost weight by the people who didn't know i had surgery. i just became a master of changing subjects. good luck! ❤️

I am turning 50 in a few months, and I've struggled with my weight most of my life. At 26, my BMI was probably around 30, but I didn't have the health issues so it was just a nuisance to me. I tried dieting and healthy eating for years, but my weight increased steadily in typical yo-yo fashion. Post-pregnancies, I spent my late 30s and early 40s in the 35-39 BMI range and started getting co-morbidities. By the time my BMI hit 40 this past year, I was aching in my feet and joints, had high blood pressure and cholesterol, and was prediabetic. So it's not about weight or appearance at this point but getting control of my health now, while my body can still bounce back and hopefully age more gracefully. I feel like I'm at that tipping point where if I don't act, the next decade will not end well and I will not have a good time of my senior years. This is despite all my best intentions and 7 years of actively going to a weight management doctor. All of that is to say that trying hard and knowing the right things to do rarely leads to success if you are prone to obesity. It's a disease, not a moral failing, no matter what people tell you. Unlike dieting, weight loss surgery provides lasting metabolic changes, as close to a cure as you can get. And you still will have to make all the lifestyle changes you would need to do anyway to lose weight, but they will actually work (instead of spending the next 24 years getting bigger and less healthy like I did). I have posted frequently about what a huge fan I am of Dr. Matthew Weiner's books, YouTube videos, and new podcast. Honestly, his books were life changing for me in terms of my perspective. I highly recommend starting there. He has 3 books, one is called Pound of Cure and gives great, scientifically sound information on what a healthy, set-point lowering way of eating looks like and how to get there. The second is a book that explains exactly how gastric bypass and sleeve surgeries change your metabolism and why they work (it's not just a smaller stomach and eating less!). The third is a cookbook with bariatric friendly recipes and serving sizes for different stages. These books are super fast reads. You can probably get through all three in a week (minus making all the recipes, of course!). With three months to go, my suggestion is get these books and start implementing the diet changes in a deliberate way. Start exercising in a sustainable way, working up to it little by little. See how you feel. Don't do crash diets. Don't start anything, whether food or exercise, you don't think you can basically do 90% of the time for the rest of your life, because there's no such thing as doing it for long enough to lose weight and then getting to "go back to normal." This has to become your new normal, with or without surgery. In three months, if you really aren't sure about the surgery, don't do it. It'll always be there. But know that it's an additional tool that will make the hard work you have to do either way in order to keep your health for the rest of your life more likely to stick. Without it, there's a very high (but not impossible) chance you will not be able to keep your weight in a healthy range.

First, I'm wondering, why are you having the surgery? It doesn't sound like you're unhappy with how you look, you didn't mention if you have any comorbidities like joint pain, decreased mobility, diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, etc, and you don't have stats (bmi) that would cause a lot of concern. Second, I've only seen 2 or 3 people on this entire site that have trouble with losing too much weight. Increase your calorie intake, maybe cut the workouts to half, and that shouldn't be an issue. But it's exceedingly rare. Third, you will likely have some regain. It's just par for the course. Not everyone does, but most people do to an extent. If you stick to the plan and move your body, it should be minimal, but it's unfortunately a reality. Lastly, you will shed hair. A lot of it. Most people do. There are a lucky few that don't, but it's a reality the majority of us can't escape. It happened with my first surgery and with my revision. I used volumizing and thickening shampoos and conditioners, cut my hair shorter (it was down to my butt when I had my surgery and I cut it to just touching my shoulders), and styled it a bit differently. And it was fine. Not one person could tell (except me) and once the shedding stopped, it started to regrow fairly quickly. It didn't come out in clumps, it was basically excessive shedding that I mostly saw when I was washing my hair in the shower. It's not like I was losing hair throughout the day and it was all over my clothes or anything.

You sound as if you have a great deal going on in your life. You need to take a moment out of your busy life to just breathe. Three months is still a long time to decide which way you want to go, either with surgery or not. You can cancel right up to the minute you walk into the hospital. A few have. This may not be your time. So lets take the things that you are most worried about, Your hair. You will not go bald. You probably will loose some of your thickness. You are young, you have masses of hair. When you are as old as I am you would have already have lost lots of hair due to menopause, so I started off with a deficit. It did get a little scary and I needed to get my hair cut really short but I do love the freedom that it gives me. I felt it was worth it. This surgery was my last chance at a normal life. You will not loose too much weight, you will stop a right place for you. You need to up your calories until you get to a balance. I am ok on 1500 calories a day. I have a slow life, I dont work anymore. I go out with friends, I eat and drink as before. The only thing I do not do is overeat. I don't miss doing that, my friends might do. Especially if they liked to overeat with me. How do you see yourself ? Not how others see you. They may want a fat friend to bolster their own negative ego's. Do you put weight on every year and keep it on ? We all did. We did diets after diets and put it all back on again with added weight. Lots of us ended up with weight related illnesses like diabetes and blood pressure. If you think you can loose weight yourself and keep it off then you need to try. Give yourself 6 to 12 months to do it. Bariatric surgery is not an easy option but if you stick with it, it is a solution. If you do not follow the guide lines then like a diet, it will fail. You should go back and chat with your surgeon. You need to be totally happy with your decision. Give yourself the time you need.

1). there are a lot more people who don't reach goal than there are who lose too much weight. Plus if you feel like you're losing too much weight, you can always increase your calories to put the brakes on it - or to start gaining. So I wouldn't worry about this one AT ALL. 2). fewer than 5% of people are able to lose weight and keep it off. You may be one of the lucky ones who can do that - and if so, and you're afraid of the surgery, it's not too late to pull out and try it on your own. I wasn't one of the lucky ones. I spent my first 55 years as overweight or obese. I gained and lost weight a million times and could never keep it off until I had weight loss surgery. 3). hair loss, if you experience it (and not everyone does), is temporary. I lost hair during months 5-8 post-surgery (so...for three months). It wasn't much, though. I could tell because there were more hairs in my combs and brushes, but I really didn't notice it at all when looking in the mirror, so I'm sure no one else noticed it. Plus hair loss after surgery is more like shedding - not huge clumps of loss like one might have after chemo. For a lot of people, they're the only ones who notice it. It's usually more loss of volume than noticeable "bald spots" - and it does grow back. to me, the risk of losing some hair temporarily vs. being morbidly obese for the rest of my life was a no-brainer. But you may think and decide differently for yourself - and there's nothing wrong with that. If you're not mentally ready for this yet, or want to try on your own to lose weight, then there's nothing wrong with canceling or postponing your surgery. You wouldn't be the first..or last.

Honestly if your body is where it’s at with the 178 your really not going to loose anymore weight nor gain really. Not sure if your team explained this to you but a DS is designed to get max weight loss and at a certain point you level out. I went from 325 to 191 with my surgery and it will fluctuate from 191 to 196 depending how I’m eating and what not but I’m 5 years out I believe and I have not gained anything past 196. Have I been scared that I’m going to drop more yes but has it went past 191 not once. Tbh once the body has reached it loss amount it is what it is that is how I have taken it.

HI!!! First, i wish you all a happy new year I had my first appointment with my surgeon a few days ago, i have some blood tests coming up in 2 weeks. So my surgery should be in 3 months. I'm 26 years old, height 5'9 and weight 260 lbs. My surgeon said i should be getting the sleeve. Okay, that being said...... I'm terrified. I'm scared about the hair loss because my hair is part of my identity and my self-love..... I can't stop thinking about it. Second, I'm scared of losing too much weight? I don't know if i'm over-reating.... but I've always been overweight so I don't know how I would react to my new body. People around me have always said that my weight looks good on me... Third, I'm wondering if I had tried enough before getting it ? I don't know if I should try to exercise and diet again one last time before getting it since I have to change my lifestyle anyway if I do this surgery.? I never really tried any diet and exercise program consistently in my life. Everytime I tried to do something, i would give up shortly after starting it. I'm a nurse and a university student, so my life is kind of crazy. My sleep schedule is crazy, my work schedule is crazy... Honestly, i'm just writing down all my thoughts because I feel like no one around me can understand what i'm going through.... and I'm looking for some advice or some guidance... Only my parents & brother know...

Hi all, I am glad I’m not the only one having issues. I haven’t had steak in 16 months. A month ago I was woken by my husband as I thought his arm was a big ice juicy steak🤣 Cat you could be gaining muscle and that’s why the weight doesn’t look different on scales. But your measurements do. The surgeon also said when you go to soft diet/full diet you can have a stall. But also fluid intake plays a part. Some Guy you are doing a great job. Screw what others think. Sarcasm is the way to go. meisha tell them how much you’ve lost overall. As that is when your weight loss journey started. Some people don’t know I had the partial sleeve. But I went in for hernia repair august 2022 and ended up with the Partial sleeve cause of stomach damage. So mine was a bonus and a kick start to reality. Me……When I had my 8wk post appt we had talked about the pain I was in and not stomaching soft foods and how I might end up having gastric bypass……. Well I ended up in hospital NYE. I couldn’t drink/eat or even swallow my own saliva without excruciating pain. Turns out I had a perforation in my oesophagus and stomach with a lot of inflammation. We had to go on a drip as I was also very dehydrated. Have intravenous meds 3 times a day as I was becoming septic too. So I am back on fluids for this last week and the next two weeks. 🙄. So over fluids/liquids. I cried Christmas Day as everyone was eating turkey and prawns. but the plus side is I’ve lost 10kgs since Nov 2nd.

at my two month mark it was christmas-ish and i along with the gazillion family parties, i had a wedding-like 50th bday party as well (not mine lol). eating was not an issue, i nibbled stuff here and there. i did bring a protein shake (or two) to every single event, just in case, but didn't need it at any of them. i could easily find something among the spread to eat. as for something to wear, i would probably nix the idea of buying a dress that fits u now. i can almost guarantee that it WILL NOT fit u in May. not sure if u are a hoarder of just-in-case "skinny clothes" like i was, but i was able to dip into this stash for a few months during weight loss phase for my dress-up needs. if anything, maybe wait until at least April to buy a new outfit?

I think this is what we all fear OP. This community is so positive. If you can give us some more information about your surgery, starting weight, total loss, etc. then people will better be able to help. Please can you tell us how and why you think you regained? That might help others from going down the same path. Without knowing more I would advise reverting to your post op diet plan - protein first, veg second, carbs third. Alcohol only when you know it's not adding to your issues. I wish you all the best. I think you have knowledge to share that will help those of us earlier in our journeys and I KNOW that people here will want to give more specific help once we know more.

no, weight loss doesn't stop on x date. it stops when YOU stop. it may take more effort as time goes on - because achieving calorie deficit is comparatively more challenging the smaller u get - but its not impossible. good luck! ❤️

side question: do ur pants still fit? sometimes the weight on the scale my not reflect the visual (i bring this up because loss of muscle mass was mentioned). the scale can sometimes be misleading, but your pants dont lie

There's not a lot of information in your post. - what surgery? - how much weight loss? - any major events related to health in your life? - what was your typical diet while losing/maintaining weight? - what's your typical diet now?

I have been in other support groups and people say that a slow or even a stall is normal in the first couple months because your body is adjusting. When you start eating healthy foods and more intake your body will start burning again. The weight will start again. The slower weight loss is actually better for your recover is my understanding. I am 10 days out and down 15 pounds. I’m not in any hurry and as long as I’m still losing I will just follow my plan and keep going. keep us posted!

I know this thread is a few years old but I thought I would ask how it went @dolphinkrazy22 I am 1.5 years post op. I had a VSG. I regained 10 pounds recently because I wasn’t as vigilant with my post op routine as I was right after surgery. I recently purchased Berberine and will be starting it tomorrow. I have a solid workout routine and have been consistent with strength training. I am hoping the Berberine will help with inflammation, performance, and weight loss. Let’s see how it goes.

I saw a few relatives over the Christmas holiday that hadn't seen me since WLS in April. All were very supportive and complimentary of my 100+ weight loss. One gal who is overweight, was very interested and asked many questions, considering WLS for herself. Then she said, "I don't know... I'm not really ready to take the easy way out." 🙄 Uhhhh I didn't get mad because I knew she was just being ignorant, but I did say... "Honey... it's far from easy." No one had been rude or called me fat when I weighed 320 lbs. at my heaviest. But they didn't have to. The look of shock, to those who knew me before, said it all. Strangers all treated me like I was invisible. But now? I read someone on here say, if I wasn't good enough for them when I was overweight, I'm too good for them now. Kind of agree with that.

I love how supportive you have been of your wife (and am sorry to hear her diabetes remains an issue). I honestly think the relationships that most often fail post-surgery are the ones that are not healthy to begin with. The effects of the weight loss just shine a light on the problems that were already there and being ignored. Society sends the message that being overweight equals being unattractive, that you'll never find a partner unless you're slim, or that you're darn lucky if you do have someone, even if that person treats you poorly, and you'd better put up with it because you won't get anything better. None of that is actually true, of course, but sometimes losing weight is the thing that makes a person realize it and start believing they deserve a happy life. But if a spouse is one of the "good ones," they'll take your advice to heart and end up with an even better relationship. I'm so glad that's what has happened to you and your wife!

Welcome to your first stall. They usually occur around week three but can start before or after that. They usually last 1-3 weeks. (There are lots of usually, often, averages, common, etc. after surgery.) While this time when the scale doesn’t move, is frustrating & can be depressing, it is an important part of your weight loss. It’s when your body takes stock of the changes that are occurring (weight loss, dietary changes, etc.) & reassess its needs in regards to metabolic rate, digestive hormones, and so on. The stress of your surgery can also impact this first stall. (Yes I said first as you’ll likely experience more of them.) The stall will break when your body is ready to move forward again. You can’t force a stall to stop. Best advice used stick to your plan & don’t stress your body more by making changes to your diet & activity other than those your plan wants. Take some body measurements. While the scale doesn’t move, you may notice changes in a tape measure or in your clothing.

Thanks so much for responding. I spoke with the nutritionists as well which she made me feel so much better too. She told me not to worry about what I did bc everyone in the beginning is learning as it is a brand new way of life we're adjusting to so I did feel better about that. It's been a week now and I been on track. So I am looking at your weight loss tracker. You started around the same weight as me and as of now you're 228 lbs, is that right? That's amazing! That gives me hope. ❤️

Great post!! I remember reading your original post. I'm glad things have worked out so well! I'm sorry it hasn't resolved the diabetes. I had the duodenal switch primarily to deal with my diabetes and so far, so good! Unfortunately the gastric sleeve doesn't have the same metabolic effects that the bypass and switch do which comes from altering the small intestines and for some reason seems to put a lot of diabetes into remission. But some get lucky with the weight loss and dietary changes alone putting it into remission! It sucks your wife isn't one of those. I love that you found a way to really show up and support her. My partner is showing up to support me and it really means the world to me! These are hard changes to go through as an individual, even harder when you have another person (or a whole family) along for the ride... Priorities change. Relationships with food and our bodies change. That can't help but impact those around us. I'm glad it has made you two stronger than ever, and made you even more devoted to celebrating the beauty that she is. Props to you for leaning in and meeting those challenges together! I'm sure there are a lot of spouses that could benefit from reading your before and after posts!