Search the Community

So I am 5 years and 2 months post-op RYGB. I made it beyond my goal weight of 170lb to 160lb. Technically I was as low as 145lbs because I was very sick in 2020 then again in 2022, but after getting better, I stabilized at a steady 160lb. Last July I started online streaming/socializing with people. I started snacking more because of nerves and also began drinking quite heavily because being silly tipsy in front of strangers is fun! I had NO IDEA how many calories was in alcohol. Over the course of 5 months, I gained 20lbs. Even more, I noticed that I can eat almost a "normal" plate of food the same size as my family's. I broke the rules and had started drinking fluids with my meals. I think I thought I could get away with breaking rules because I was at a stable 160lbs. Now I am FREAKING out! I hate exercise. I never did it, even with my prior weightloss. I am using a tracking app my husband's VA dietician told him to use called Fat Secret. I am trying to stick to 1600 calories, which is super hard. I feel hungry all the time now. I think I caused pouch dilation. I refuse to be heavy again. My clothes are already getting tighter than I like. I was doing research today on weight gain after years post-op. I basically am reading that I need a bariatric reset. I am going to do a 2-week "Pouch Reset Diet." It's not to make my pouch smaller, but it's to retrain my body to feel full with smaller portions again. I need to go back to the basics, and it's really hard. I also don't get DS with sweets like I used to. Don't get me wrong, I still get sick, but I noticed that my sugar tolerances have changed. It really worries me. 40% of bypass patients fail and bounce back to within 10% of their original weight pre-surgery. I will NOT be a part of that 40%. My support system at home is tricky. On one hand, my husband does support me outwardly. But he himself weighs 415lbs and isn't doing much about his weight. He watched my struggles and drustrations and outright refuses surgery for himself. He's on some stupid intermitent fasting diet, but he still eats way too large portions at meal times. My 15 y/o son is pushing 285lbs, and his only exercise is video games. For me, it's like living around all these food temptations is a struggle. It's like being an alcoholic and living at a bar. I just ordered a crap ton of protein powder so I can jump start this Pouch Reset Diet. I started to push myself on working out at least a little bit. I have a mini stair stepper and an eleptical bike. Anything is better than nothing. I am just wondering if I am alone in my struggles?

If you are counting total carbs you need to be under 50 grams total carbs to maintain ketosis. If you are counting net carbs you need to be under 30 grams net carbs to maintain ketosis. They aren't interchangeable. Some believe fiber and sugar alcohols don't impact blood sugar so they can be subtracted and net carbs followed, but that doesn't apply to everyone. I can't eat any of the high fiber "keto" products like breads. For me, carbs are carbs and keto bread will knock me out of ketosis just as fast as a chocolate bar. 🤣 I am not the norm, but it is incredibly annoying!! And I know others like me. Regardless, my dietician said we should count total carbs because net carbs are not a recognized measurement by whatever association decides these things. LOL Most fruit is high in carbs, yes, and so most people watching their carb count choose coconut and berries as opposed to citrus or bananas. Same with veggies, green beans would be a better choice than a sweet potato. Keep in mind this state of ketosis is not intended to last forever, so what might not be the best item to eat right now will fit perfectly later on in your nutritional picture when you can increase your carb count.

I was taught to count "net Carbs". I always subtract the fiber or the sugar alcohol. Works for me

I had GS nine years ago. Lost a lot. During lockdown I transfer addicted to alcohol. Now I'm sober, but, transfer addicted back to food to get there and have regained over half my loss back in the last year. So, what to do? I'd appreciate thoughts from those who got revisions and how they think it has helped them. Thanks.

I have the best luck with the Fairlife 30g shakes and their 26g and 42g "core" shakes. They dont' have that chemical taste that most other shakes have, and taste closer to a Nesquick. They do have monk fruit and sucralose in them, but I've been able to tolerate them. I am sensitive to a lot of sugar alcohols (sorbitol and xylitol in particular) which trigger a bad insulin response for me, but I haven't had that experience with the Fairlife brand. Premier protein isn't bad, but I think Fairlife tastes a lot better. They can be hard to find, but I've had the best luck checking at Sams Club (or Costco / BJ's Wholesale if they're in your area). They sell out fast, so I check in the morning and place a pick up order for after work.

Hi All! Lately, I have been receiving attention for my weight loss, mostly positive. People have been asking me how I lost the weight. I prefer to keep my surgery private and only a select few know about it because I do not want to hear negative comments. When people ask how I did it, I say, "Thank you! I have been following a low carb diet, walking every day, and not drinking alcohol." Recently, someone commented on how quickly I lost the weight on this diet, and for a moment, I worried that they might be thinking I was using drugs. LOL Does anyone use different excuse?

I'm not a doctor and you should definitely ask your doctor about these results! They are the only ones that can really interpret these things for you!! However I can tell you from experience that sometimes the B supplements they have us taking after surgery can really push up the B12 levels, even into the abnormal category. But far as I understand it, the body will deal with the extra B12 just fine. At least that is what I was told and it may be true for you, so try not to worry until you talk to your doctor! Also, rapid weight loss post op can do odd things to our labs overall, especially our liver labs. That is because all that fat we are losing has to be processed in the liver and it stresses it out a bit. This is one of the reasons we are advised to avoid alcohol for the first year, that liver doesn't need anything else going on to stress it out! Plus there is a risk of transfer addiction but that's a whole other story... So try to remind yourself that your body is working very hard right now and that will probably show up as some unusual labs for a while. Your doctor will let you know if there is anything to be concerned about. And finally, being in ketosis post op can do weird things to our labs as well, especially when it comes to what shows up in your urine. So again, try not to fret too hard until you talk with your doctor about this. It is possible this might be something they want to follow, or it could just be because of surgery and rapid weight loss in ketosis. Only they can tell you what is really going on. ❤️

I've been told my eventual goal will be 3 meals per day, 20-25g protein per meal, which is equal to 3-4 oz cooked meat (palm size/deck of cards). After protein, I should prioritize non-starchy vegetables, followed by fruit, followed by starchy veg and grains, which are limited to 1/2 c portion. My program avoids giving specific macros because everyone is different and also I think to get away from dieting mentality. I was told to space meals 4-6 hours apart and avoid snacking (this is for after the early stages when you need to eat more frequently). Basically, when your appetite starts to return, stick with the limits of 20-25g protein and 1/2 c starch/grain, and eat as much non-starchy veg and fruit as you like until you feel satisfied (instead of taking bigger meat and starch portions as we might be tempted to do). Oh, and choose low-fat or non-fat options when available and stay away from added sugar. They're okay with stevia and sucralose but frown on sugar alcohols.

I had just gone from pre diabetic to full on diabetic. This propelled me towards the surgery. I was prematurely old, walking with a stick and just about managing to keep house. I am now energetic, independent and quite frankly blooming. My high blood pressure disappeared with in two months and I came off those meds. At 6 months out, I was back to prediabetic. 12 months out, I was no longer pre diabetic. I had a rough ride early on. I had a very narrow new stomach. Eating and drinking were difficult. I have gained GERD which is a pain but its manageable if I eat and drink right. I eat out, drink alcohol and leave food uneaten. I have loose skin but I look great in clothes I am overjoyed that I did this surgery. I fit in the world, nobody looks at me.

Some of the shakes can cause constipation because of the extra fibre many contain to fill you up - it can bind you up. So I’d probably avoid the Benefibre pre surgery - it’s great after surgery. Try a stool softener to get things moving. For the diarrhoea check if your shakes, popsicles & jello contain sugar alcohols. They’re sugar alternatives used to sweeten many foods & drinks. They that end in ‘ol’ like xylitol, sorbitol, etc. They’re renowned for causing diarrhoea (bloating & cramping) if you consume too much. How much is too much differs person to person. It can become a bit of a cycle. Diarrhoea then constipation cause you’ve cleaned out your bowels. Then diarrhoea again.

Congrats on the surgery! Expect the first month to be a roller coaster of emotions, hunger, anger, and a day or two of regret. That's a rite of passage for us, where I think everyone second guesses their decision. By week 5, I finally started getting a better handle on things and I'm still very happy with my decision. 10 weeks out and I'm in better shape than I've been in decades! As others have said, you feel hungry because you are hungry. Your body is used to the previous amount of eating, and panics when it realizes you're not eating what you used to. Since you were a candidate for surgery, then your body has enough fat cell reserves to live off of that for a few weeks, which is why they have you focus only on water the first two weeks, while working in more protein to prevent you from burning muscle. However, our bodies don't understand that logic and kicks into survival mode. It only understands "food" or "no food". The first six months is critical to the process because that's when we have the best opportunity to retrain our mind and bodies to adapt. In a sense it is traumatic to our bodies, and it will fight until it understands that this new normal is safe, because that's its job, to keep you alive! Once you're back to solid foods, that's when recognizing head hunger becomes more important. Around that time (somewhere around weeks 4-6), you'll have worked up to eating enough calories to be sustaining metabolism, while still running enough of a deficit to burn fat. At that point, your body will try to tell you "hey, we're close to the old normal again, go ahead and eat more!". As my therapist reminds me, remember to listen specifically to your stomach, and not your mouth. Practice eating enough to where your stomach feels full, and not pressured from too much, but at the same time, study your habits to see if you're eating to stay busy, to deflect stress (I'm guilty of this), or just because your body thinks you should keep your stomach topped off. During that period, if you feel like your stomach is craving more, double check what nutrients you are getting. If you're deficient in vitamins or minerals, you will develop insatiable cravings, but your body can't tell you exactly what its missing. It just yells "I'm Hungry!". Check with your doctor on which supplements to add or remove, and also branch out with different styles of food as long as they fit your calories/macros. I felt like I was starving for most of last week, then I got some Korean food (sort of a bibimbap inspired kale and cabbage salad with beef) on Friday, and the cravings stopped. I'm still trying to figure out what itch that scratched, but obviously I was missing something in that! Also, be very careful with sugar, starches, breads, rice, etc. That can send you into a craving spiral that lasts 2-3 days. Some sugar alcohols like Sorbitol and Xylitol also trigger that for me, while Monk Fruit, Stevia, and Splenda don't. Everyone is different, but pay attention to those ingredients, because that can make the hunger feel worse!

Sorry if I'm repeating myself, I've lost track of which threads I've posted on. My doctor said to keep it under 10g total carbohydrates per serving, and target 50-60g total max per day. Not low enough to go into Keto, unless that's your intent, but low enough for the body to prioritize burning fat first. I know on days that I've blown past this, I'll feel more irritable a few hours later and I'll crave more bread and sugar for 2-3 days afterwards, so go lightly on it! Personally, I've had trouble with some artificial sugars causing cravings and irritability. Not everyone will have this intolerance, but pay close attention to any sugar alcohols or substitutes in ingredients and see which ones affect you. I've had luck tolerating monk fruit and stevia, but Sorbitol and Xylitol hit me as hard as normal sugar.

Great insights. May I also add that we don't realise how much sugar is in our diets pre surgery and our bodies are really used to using this as energy. Take this away and oh boy the body slump is real. The symptoms can be extreme like the withdrawal from alcohol. Shakes, headaches, tiredness, skin irritation. I was allowed coffee and tea, I would have been a mess with out it. I just toned down the strength of it post op so that it was a little kinder to my new stomach. Doing the pre op diet can be as hard as pre op. Be kind to yourself

I had mine in May of 2023. I'm doing great , thanks for asking ! I've been eating low carb ,very small portions and except for a months long stall, everything is going a-ok I haven't had any carbonated drinks or alcohol so far, but I don't miss it. My stomach handles everything good with no problems. I'm down 2 sizes and couldn't be happier ! All my lab work have been perfect and I'm off 3 meds that I took for a long time. Diabetes is no longer in my future ! How have you been since your surgery ? You lost a ton !!!!!

Good for you! Your nutritionist needs to be working somewhere else. It's sad that everyone thinks it's OK to judge us. I educated a personal trainer at a gym (young guy) who, instead of giving me a personalized workout, gave me a lecture on diet. I told him I knew more about dieting than he ever would because I've read all the books and tried most of the fad diets because I've been dieting for 40 years, and that he should stick to his specialty. The doctor in charge of my nutrition team tried to talk me out of the surgery because I'd lost so much weight already. I told her I'd never had a problem losing weight, my problem is it always comes back and more, I want the metabolic reset so my body would be OK with me weighing less. No one understands the complexity of our metabolic set point. Scientists are studying weight loss surgeries in mice and have discovered all their theories are wrong or only part of the reason these surgeries reset out metabolic set point. No doubt their studies are funded by some pharmaceutical company so they can make a med to replace the surgery. Genetics, premature/low birth rate, health and neutrition issues, our culture and upbringing, stress and depression, habits that our bodies have become to crave... It isn't all about discipline. Compare people's attitudes toward Smokers, alcoholics and drug addicts, who get more understanding and less blame for the habits they can't quit (as long as they don't live on the street, beg, or look/smell bad). Broke people can get free rehab. Where is our free surgeries?

I never did do a 5-yr anniversary post (which was like 3 months ago, oopsies). Here is a reply I made to someone's thread about being newly sleeved. I had alot of fun composing it - despite it going off an a total tangent - and thought it had a five-year-sleeve-anniversary type of feel to it so I'm putting it here! Am also adding my requisite swim suit shot, but this one is from vacay last month, and its NOT a full body shot, AND I'm half in the water, lol. Its too cold around here for me to change into one now and take a pic. Plus I'm lazy. So i give you: "5+ YEARS IN 1000 WORDS OR LESS": #### Begin #### Day 0: YES!! I'm alive! Weeks 1-2: Ouch, this kinda hurts. I detest all food and water! I'm sooo effing tired, im just gonna lay down here and be found in 3 weeks, half-eaten by wild dogs. Weeks 3-4: Oh wow, I LOVE water! Eating is such a chore. I don't want to do it. I lost HOW MUCH weight?? Whoa, this thing is gonna actually work! LET'S DO THIS! Those dogs will be very disappointed in eating me. Months 2-4: Am I ever going to eat like a normal person?? It taking me for-EVAH to eat my tiny cup of food. I am sick of people commenting on how I eat. Exercise is so much funner/easier when I'm not so big! Let me sign up for EVERYTHING! I LOVE new clothes! I am losing my hair! Who knew salad is my favourite thing on earth? Months 5-7: If one more person tells me to stop losing weight or asks if i have a disease I'm going to sic my wild dogs on them. I guess this is life now: eating tiny bits of food all day long...I guess I can do that, small price to pay for looking HAWT and feeling A-MAY-ZING. I wonder if anyone knows how full of myself I really am.... Months 8-10: OMG.I CAN'T POSSIBLY UP MY CALORIES TO MAINTENANCE LEVEL! HOW AM I GOING TO STOP LOSING WEIGHT! I AM GOING TO WITHER AWAY AND DIE! Month 11: Oh. So THAT's my maintenance calorie level. That's not so hard. I'm not going to die after all. Ok, Ok, I'll just take this ONE cigarette from you, handsome Italian guy in Italy...even though I quit cold turkey 10 years ago...it can't hurt, right? Month 14: Plastic. Surgery. Month 15: *cries* Month 16: Whoa, I'm looking even HAWT-er than before. How is this even possible? I wonder if anyone has ever exploded from being so full of themselves.... Month 17: Why hello carbs, I've missed you. bread, Pasta, Rice, we shall never be parted again! Oh, nice to meet you for the first time COVID! How long are you staying? Month 18-21: All skinny and plastic-ed up and no where to go. Eff you COVID. I guess I'll just do a little online shopping for stuff to wear when I am finally allowed out of the house. Sure, I'll have that martini for Breakfast. Hey, my hair is back to normal...and its even nicer than before. Go figure. Years 3-5: Huh. I stayed below goal weight this entire time and I am the picture of satisfactory health...does that make me awesome? I dunno...my closet is bursting with clothes...most of which I've worn maybe once or not at all. How am I still smoking??? It was only supposed to be one cigarette!!! I think I may have developed high-functioning alcoholism? Food intolerances? Who me? Nah, I can eat anything and everything, EXCEPT large amounts of sugar at one time cuz, you know, I may pass out on the couch. I may not eat as much as everyone around me, but I don't want to anyway, so there! But let me cook for you, bake for you, make copious amounts of food for you! And no, i AM NOT finished reading this menu in it's entirety...I'm about to order enough food for 5 people...you better be hungry! Today I take no medications other than for my acid reflux (which unfortunately came on due to my sleeve surgery). I eat carbs and (small amounts) of Desserts, I drink alcohol. My last physical/labs 6 months ago produced no concerns - other than an abnormal thickening of my uterine lining, but that has since resolved. I have ridiculous amounts of energy, I rarely fight with my husband, I handle stress and annoyance like a grown up. I'm digging life. Oh, and I still look HAWT. *mic drop* P.S. i also finally quit smoking 5 months and 14 days ago. yay me! hopefully I don't meet another handsome Italian with an extra cigarette in the future. Edited to add: P.P.S. sorry..i meant to just reply about the first few weeks after my sleeve surgery and food progression, but my fingers got a life of their own as I typed out my reply. plus it was kinda fun writing this. I may cut and paste this into a more appropriate thread if I find one Good Luck! ❤️ #### END ####

I've always joked that I came out of the womb with an addictive personality. Born to two parents with substance abuse and alcohol abuse issues, childhood trauma and other things always seemed to point me down the path of poor life choices that resulted in addict type behavior. I used off and on from the time I was 9 until I was 21 and then again from 23 to 29. I've been clean and sober now for 10 years and had no idea how heavily I relied on my ability to gulp down fizzy drinks or snack when I fell overwhelmed or overstimulated until after surgery. To make things better, I have a depressive disorder and a complete repulsion to my medication. I've tried five or six different antidepressants and the only ones that work and actually help stabilize me emotionally I'll give me serious nausea even just thinking about taking them. I guess I'm here to see if anyone else has major addict energy and what exactly you poured yourself into post-op? I feel like my life is falling apart. I am down 75 lb since the middle of September. I feel like I look exactly the same. I'm so overwhelmed with work just logging in makes me nauseous. And today my daughter told me she misses me being a fat mom because I had more energy and wasn't so sad. FYI, I am currently on a wait list for a psychiatrist to see if I need to get on any kind of meds aside from what I'm already on and on a wait list for a counselor, but my provider says it could be up to 3 months more before I get in to see anyone. I kind of don't know what to do and I'm tired of sleeping my life away. Help.

If you like how you look, feel good, have good mobility, and have no health issues then there's no reason to get this kind of surgery. Doing it because you know you'll gain weight i the future isn't the right reason to do it. Maybe see a nutritionist about getting on a healthy eating plan, and move your body more. Walk, workout, go hiking, swim, do things that move your body. That will help. Pay attention to what you're eating and drinking. Consume 1800 - 2000 calories per day, prioritize protein first, then veggies, then carbs. Reduce sugar and salt. Limit alcoholic drinks. These are all things that will help you to be healthier, drop a little weight, and ensure health as the years go on. Surgery is a last resort for those who have serious weight and health issues and have failed at everything else.

I think this is what we all fear OP. This community is so positive. If you can give us some more information about your surgery, starting weight, total loss, etc. then people will better be able to help. Please can you tell us how and why you think you regained? That might help others from going down the same path. Without knowing more I would advise reverting to your post op diet plan - protein first, veg second, carbs third. Alcohol only when you know it's not adding to your issues. I wish you all the best. I think you have knowledge to share that will help those of us earlier in our journeys and I KNOW that people here will want to give more specific help once we know more.

I am preop and was just reading through the folder my surgeon's office has given me. There's a section called keeping the weight off where they talk about portions after you've gotten past the honeymoon period. They say that a meal should be 3-4 oz of lean protein with 20-25g protein, 1/2 cup of whole grain or starchy vegetables, and then half of the plate is leafy/non-starchy veg and fruit. The most important part for me was where they said: Sometimes portion sizes increase over time. If you feel you are able to eat more at meals, increase the portion of non-starchy vegetables. I would start there, because I think the tendency as appetite increases is to grab a bigger plate and increase everything proportionally. So now you may be eating 5-6 oz protein and 3/4 to 1 cup of starch or grain. And maybe adding in more sauces, more fats, a piece of bread, some alcohol, juice, some sweet treats, a daily snack. My surgeon's plan emphasizes keeping to 3 meals per day without snacking once you're past the first few weeks where you need to supplement with protein shakes just to meet minimum protein goals. But if you can regularly get 20-25g protein at a meal, plus 1/2 cup starch or grain and some veg/fruit, you don't need to eat more than 3 times per day, 4-6 hours apart. This is something that isn't always made clear. When I started this journey, I was certain that gastric bypass would mean having to eat lots of small meals all throughout the day, which is exactly what I'm being told not to do! But you do need to get at least 64oz of water or more all the time, and you can add as much veg and fruit as you need to feel full. I think that is where I would start in your position. Go back to measuring your meals, setting timers to remind you when your meal times are if you need to, eating only food you prepare yourself and/or know exactly what's in it. Check your cupboards for temptations and get rid of them. Pay attention to the urges you have to do something that isn't part of your plan, because that's probably going to show you the problem areas and help you figure out how to change. And most of all, give yourself a little bit of grace, because this isn't easy (no matter what people try to say). Take care of yourself. Get enough sleep. Get fresh air and exercise. Be kind to yourself.

Hello All- i posted for the first time just about three years ago with some anxieties as a spouse with my wife prepping to undergo the gastric sleeve. I originally noted being concerned about our lifestyle changes, relationship impacts (I had heard all the horror stories) and most of all health concerns into the future. The community was incredibly supportive and I had learned tips and useful knowledge that helped me coach and support my wife through it. I am happy to say we are better than we ever have been and her self confidence is through the roof. However the MAIN reason the surgery ever was even considered was to get her diabetes that started while she was pregnant with our first child and got very concerning bad with our fourth has still stuck around and caused issues….. First- this is Life changing not just for the partner getting the surgery, but the spouse too. We used to be foodies and that all had to go out the door. Same with alcohol. Two bites and you are full, a pint and you are drunk. So activities, dates, etc. and new hobbies should all be prepared for well in advance. Luckily we are both athletes and coaches and this allowed to have an outlet that wasn’t our prior foodies and beer/ brewery culture pastime. Two- Relationship, anyone who tells you that this leads to automatic divorce/ break up is paranoid or lying. Out of her support group offered by our health network, I think only 1 or 2 of about fifteen women ended up separating and that was from the other spouse cheating. I have to say that in many ways, after four kids and all our activities, youth sports and coaching- it created a second honeymoon period for us and really strengthened our romance and relationship because we both focused on our health again jointly and the magnetism increased dramatically. Third- It might not fix the problem…. We did not jointly go into the surgery for cosmetic or weight loss reasons. It was the diabetes and the doctors said it was a solid shot to cure or mitigate the disease. It was for a while, but it keeps back up. despite healthy eating, despite exercise and coaching, despite the surgery- medications came back into the picture and so did the celebrity weight loss drug (which is really supposed to be for diabetes…) This has been keeping everything under control but is a case of the cure being as bad as the sickness. The side effects are brutal and definitely have a quality of life impact, but we both want to live to see grandkids someday….. Fourth- dysmorphia is VERY really. We are both naturally larger people. I was a lineman in high school and college and she was a softball catcher in high school and college and ended up also playing women’s rugby there as well. Even with the surgery she went from an XL to L but she got her college/ high school figure back and as such her confidence went through the roof and started dressing like she hadn’t in years. With the medication though??? Her figure, face shape, everything changed. Down to a Small or Medium. For almost a year and a half she hasn’t recognized herself in the mirror. It’s a double wham with the surgery and the medication. Between her best friends and myself (we have all been in the same friend/ team group since college) the support was to have fun with it and go with the flow. Instead of worrying about it (the dysmorphia) it was embrace the change. All new clothes she could never wear before, she’s been a redhead now and then blonde and still is. Cut her hair shorter, started wearing makeup (never really did)- all just to try and put a positive spin on it. I’ve been the spoiled recipient of having a brand new girl (don’t think I haven’t romanced and spoiled the you-know-what out of her), but at the end of the day it’s been mitigation of all the life changes. The last part has been the most detailed because it’s the most recent and to me has been the most impactful- NOT having the surgery do its intended purpose and the dysmorphia we’re both very difficult given the efforts and life changes made. We’ve done everything we can to make lemonade out of those lemons though. We had an anniversary vacation better than our honeymoon this past summer (she has always been way out of my league and these days it’s very much over the top- I feel incredibly spoiled) and we have made time to ride our bikes together with our oldest babysitting the kids and we come to each others games when we coach. I would tell any spouse; husband or wife of someone who is going to have the surgery and then or also do all the meds: 1. Support. It’s a huge deal and you need to show up. 2. Don’t get insecure about your relationship because of the surgery. If you are worried it means you might not have a great relationship to start with…. 3. You will need to change your life too. Because of my size and my weight lifting, I need a lot of protein and calories. I will never look like a Hollywood star (like she now does) and always an NFL lineman- BUT- if I bring a cannoli, pie or a full growler into the house in addition to steak/ salmon, etc it’s teasing and not fair. You will need to learn self control to support your spouse… 4. Inspire and come up with ideas for positive re-enforcement. If the dysmorphia or depression sets in, you need to find fun things to do, supportive steps to take and positive angles to keep things going. 5. If you are doing all this as a spouse, what about YOU??? Are you going to die a martyr? Take care of YOURSELF too. I go lifting 3 times a week, go fishing in season. And for my 40th birthday when she asked what I wanted?? I got us a long weekend on the Cape, bought her some dresses I wanted to see her in and sent her to get her hair, nails, toes, eyelashes, etc.. done. Said I wanted a long weekend with my movie star wife. It was a great time, kid free and continued to strengthen our marriage. Anyways- why am I writing this? Posterity? Self reflection? Not really…. I just want to give Spouses a roadmap. It’s a huge change and you need to navigate the waters well. If you do you will benefit as much as your loved one. Good luck.

No you don't sound mad just ready for the change. Its so different being thin in a world made for thin people. Your team will tell you what you can eat and drink and you can be assured that nobody else in the world will be on the same diet. Be it pre op or post op. In the UK and Europe, the surgeons do seem more tolerant of some things like Coffee, fizzy drinks, straws, alcohol and salt. There was no limits on my drinks, hot cold, fizzy or frozen. My surgeon said that protein shakes were the devils food and he had me drink full skim milk. Which was right up my street tbh. Cheap and easy to put a flavour too, like coffee or blitzed with strawberry, banana or peanut butter. New year, new you. Enjoy

I have been so good by not drinking alcohol, carbonated beverages and caffiene. I feel like deserve 1 cocktail but I needed reassurance LOL thank you ❤️

I'm 3 yrs out and have memory loss. Don't know if it's related to that or being a alcoholic now. Depression sucks Sent from my SM-G998U using BariatricPal mobile app

3 years out for me and weighed myself this morning.... UGH - 10lbs up. Funny, as soon as I weighed myself, I thought of this forum and this was one of the first posts I saw. I think we lose the weight, get comfortable, and "forget" the WHY and HOW we got here. Something I heard over the holidays: "Wow, I am so proud of you for keeping the weight off" - Me thinking: (as I'm drinking a high calorie cocktail).... I'm pretty much a failure at the moment.... Here's the reality - I lost the weight, got comfortable, quit tracking, eating whatever and whenever I want - Results: 10lbs weight gain. For me, the trick seems to be: Be a slave to the scale, TRACK TRACK TRACK. and get back into this forum. Tracking and weighing seems to be the only way I don't lie to myself (as if my clothes don't tell me...). Get back on the forum and remind myself daily of what I need to do vs. what I want to do. Going to try and get back to the basics: fluids and protein - skip the boredom/stress snacking and nix the alcohol. Thanks for these posts and knowing we aren't alone in this journey!