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Dixiedoo- cute name by the way... You make A LOT of sense!!! I think, to a point, my words may not have carried through the best via post... I have pressure and pain as I adjust to a fill, and these fills do add to my anxiety, BUT I knew that this discomfort/pressure would get better as the days passed from my fill... now 8 days ago, it has. I think that in one of my post replies their lapband was viewed as their "best friend". I see a lot of danger in that, as I would feel GREAT betrayal if something ever happened to my band, regardless of my efforts (slippage, too tight, unfill, fill, plateus,ect.) I would find myself so bitter and jaded and hopeless if I viewed it that way... besides my weight loss is up to me, and not dependant on "my best friend", but ME, and afterall this is a medical tool, NOTHING ELSE... I digress, I made a bad choice to eat an orange on day 3 after my fill, and threw up for the first time 3 times to get all the pulp out that was stuck.... that inflamed it, I am sure, even more-stupid! Now who's rambling... lol Soooo about what you said about giving permission to eat small amounts, and questioning whether it is healthy or not... wow... I was just having that discussion with myself yesterday... I will continue with that mindset... you were SOOO HELPFUL.... To clerify to all lapbanders that have read my post: "anabuse" - when used correctly AS A TOOL FOR SOBRIETY does not make you sick, but allows you to stay sober to attend 12 step programming efforts, and to learn a QUALITY OF LIFE beyond drinking alcohol... doesn't the same apply to our lapbands?? when used correctly AS A TOOL FOR HEALTHY EATING it does not make me sick, but allows me to eat healthy, lose the excess weight, attend to my needs for personal growth and determination, and to learn a QUALITY OF LIFE beyond comforting myself with the wrong foods.... Does that make sense my friends??

Like Everyone else said, you should call your doctor. But, for ways to handle the situation until you can get to the doctor, try drinking everything room temperature, nothing cold because the day of my surgery in the hospital I took a drink of cold Water and was fixing to throw up with the nurse held a alcohol wipe under my nose. The feeling instantly went away. So I would try the alcohol wipe if you get that feeling again. She said that some people can't handle cold stuff yet. Now, 1.5 weeks post-op I can drink cold things again.

Not banded until 4/6 but have preband victories. 1. Lost over 40 pounds 2. 48 pants to a 44 3.4x shirt to some 2x (depends on how made) 4.more energy I know it's a hard road but i also know the best is yet to come. CONGRATS TO ALL OF US!!!!! Just recieved my preop diet and all they told me to do was not to smoke and drink alcohol.

Well... here are my thoughts... I have been recalling all of my failed attempts at losing weight:ohmy:. I weighed in today at 214.6... down 65 lbs...that is the lowest since, ohhh I would say October 2004!!! The last time I was close was at 217... that was about May 07... that didn't last long (stress of wedding got to me by that point). I recalled many failed attempts in early college too... This is all what I used to soften the blow of my restriction level that I have mixed feelings about right now. I am guessing that it WILL ease up a little, or at least I am hoping. I wonder what will be pressure, vs. pain as I move forward in this new restriction level. I have read lots of (and have empathized with) concerning posts on lapbandtalk stating that we thought it would be the solution in that it helped us get fuller faster, with small quantities, and that we could basically eat most of the foods that we did pre-surgery... I read these posts as we talked about all of the pain that was associated with eating from the restriction... and how disappointed and resentful and misled we felt as a result... to be honest, that has been part of my hesitance to get another fill... I guess I did not want that pain... I wanted to eat all the things I have been eating (I have just plain given up on breads aside from pretzels, crispy thin crusts, and crackers... really miss those steakhouse buttery doughy rolls though)... I wanted to deny the problems that I have had with dieting leading up to this point... I wanted to forget the feelings and emotions that came with joining Weight Watchers for the 10th time, the 20th time, the 30th time... I wanted to forget the reasons that THE INSURANCE COMPANY actually thought I medically needed this surgery.... I wanted to forget the harsh realities of, when telling others that I have had this surgery, people's comments NEVER included "Oh, you dont need to get surgery" "You arent THAT overweight"... nope, just agreeable and encouraging comments including: "You have a lot of courage" and "Good for you" and "You will get there". Now I am REALLY feeling that restriction, day 3... after that .75 cc fill, total of 6.25 in 12 cc band. I kind of view it as my "Anabuse" which if you dont know is a medication that alcoholics take to deter alcohol abuse because they will get severely sick if they drink on the medication.... even one beer.... the lapband is my anabuse. The last 2 months I really felt myself straying back into those bad habits of comforting myself with thin crust pizza, nachos, and other comfort foods that I was able to eat too much of.. thank GOD for the exercise I was able to do... It helped me to NOT gain, but lose 5 lbs (IN 2 MONTHS):confused:, and I am sure some inches instead!!! Things aren't even THAT stressful for me right now.... SOOOO I needed my "anabuse" dose adjusted, and that is just what I did! Even if it is painful to eat almost every meal from here on out... it will remind me of my past, and what I want my future to be.... This was never framed to me as "Easy", a "Solution", or an exact science... it is, after all in the words of my wise bariatric nurse Terry Marentette, "just a tool".... I need it, pain or not, like it or not... Sorry I am being so deep today, I was just doing a lot of reflecting, and I guess I just needed to type it all out??? I will move forward from here (backwards on the scale)... My wishes for you all is GREAT success, and lots of GREAT support too! God Bless you all for your courage!!!

My PPC recommended that I have the band. Did my phyc & nutritional consults within 2 weeks and they gave me a positive report to the Dr. That was about 6 weeks ago. Finally Dr's office calls and schedules an "educational" visit for April ?? (forget). In the meantime, I have had mixed feelings. I am about 100 lbs overweight, but otherwise in pretty good health. I enjoy eating and alcohol, obviously too much. At the end of my nutritional consult she handed me a folder and said "This is the rest of your life". When I got home and read "The rest of my life", I said wow, do I really want to make this trip. On the other hand, I would like to be trim and fit, move easier, and have the ladies smile at me some more. I have longevity in my family. Grandparents -4 died in thier 90's, dad passed at 94, and mom is still with us @ 94, so maybe I should consider the quality of life issues if I am going to be here for the next 30 yrs or so. Comments appreciated - only positive ones, don't want to be brought down by negatives. Regards Hal

Hi I have high triglicerides & cholesterol too but if you drink any alcohol within like 3 days of blood work the triglicerides go way up I have found. I get high cholesterol from eating processed foods & pre packaged stuff plus fast food. I harley ever eat any meat besides chicken breast so it's not from meat. Whenever I'd so th South beach diet my blood work came back great, so eating whole grains & the right carbs & not too much alcohol really helps me with that. Maybe you can ask your doctor about that.

I was banded in Sept. 08. First fill Nov. 08. Second fill - January 09. After the second fill (total of 3cc in a 10cc band) all my problems started. I developed reflux at night - not necessarily heartburn - but liquid coming up. I quit eating at least 2 hours before bed. Didn't matter. My surgeon ordered an endoscopy. I had it yesterday. The first thing the gastro doctor said afterward was that he thought my band slipped upward. And I said how could that be resolved and he said my surgeon would have to reposition it. Then he said my surgeon might have deliberately placed it high if he wanted me to lose more weight (my BMI was under 35 before surgery). Anyway, he said it was higher than in most he had seen and I also have a hiatal hernia. He said the pouch is high, small and tight and there is no place for the food or liquid to go but up. So I got the whole sheet on hiatal hernia care - elevate the bed, no alcohol, no chocolate, blah, blah, blah. My husband suffered from GERD, hiatal hernia and eventually barrett's esophagus than turned into esophageal cancer. He died of it 3 years ago. So I could write the book on treatment of all these conditions. The lap band was supposed to reduce my hunger. It hasn't. It was supposed to make me feel satisfied with a smaller amount of food. It hasn't. I have changed the way I eat - I eat my Protein, then a little later a veggie, then later a fruit. My eating is spaced out over the day. Same foods, same calories - and it seems to help some with the discomfort that was happening when I ate. But the reflux remained. I have a LOT to discuss with my surgeon. I want my last fill removed for starters. So, since I got the band I have developed a hiatal hernia and reflux (I didn't have them before). Anyone else have this problem and if so, how did you and/or your doctor solve it? Thank you. P.S. My gastro doctor and surgeon work out of the same hospital and refer patients to each other and I doubt he will write anything in his report to second guess my surgeon. You know how that is.

Hello I'm Louisana too...Shreveport..Alcohol is ok..It's just has a lot of sugar but since you don't drink as much you will be fine..I get tipsy faster maybe becuz I don't eat as much..I find myself drinking alot since I don't eat as much but you will be fine..Enjoy yourself

I was eating too much (and eating too much sugar) once I was allowed to eat real food. More recently I have cut out all processed sugar and started counting my calories ... I've also recently gotten a fill that has helped my hunger TREMENDOUSLY. I would encourage you to, while it's hard to turn down those delicious foods (and drinks), try your hardest to do that. You are only one month out, so I think you should make sure you're eating what your doctor wants. Also, don't drink too much alcohol as you are still healing. This was the worst time for me as I didn't have a fill and didn't feel any restriction, so I know how difficult it is to turn down tempting food. You can always tell your friends you aren't that hungry or your can nurse a drink rather than drink a couple. Just remember you feel the affects of the calories you eat/drink - not your friends. Good luck!

Tracy, you know how I feel. I've been at a plateau for months now.. almost a year actually. I gained 13# and lost the 13#, but nothing since. The lady that got me onto lapband info and had hers done a few weeks after me has lost 115#!!! I've lost 60# and I think that's great until I think about her and then I get discouraged. And then when I think it's been 2 years and that's only 30# a year!! BUT.. we are all different. I'm not her and you're not me. You need to take care of you and not worry about the scale or how everyone else is doing. Get rid of the things that are hurting you. concentrate on protein. Cheese, meat, yogurt. Don't make cookies if you can't resist them. Don't buy the ice cream. Let Frank take Macy out if they need it. But YOU need to take care of YOU! YOU are the most important part of the lap band journey. Do you know how awesome ALL of us would be doing if we were close enough to exercise together, call for someone to spend time with us when temptation calls, just be near each other???? But we're not and we really have to be true to ourselves. We have no one to answer to but ourselves. So keep on keeping on. Don't let it get you down. Just like an alcoholic, it's one day at a time, one meal at a time. Love ya!!!!!!!!

Nope. The men I know have another answer to all questions...and sadly, it isn't sex. :biggrin: Alcohol is the response of choice.

I know that it's bad for you, but I will turn 21 about 5months after surgery. I'm not saying that I will go super overboard, but I can't see not being able to drink a little. As of right now, I'm not really that big of a drinker. I have 1 alcoholic beverage every 6months, and I'm not a big partyer. So I would just like to know what have your experiences been with alcohol? How often do you drink? How much can you drink? I would just like to be able to go out every now and then and get a decent buzz lol. But it really wouldn't be that big of a sacrifice to give it up completely seeing as I almost never drink the stuff anyway. So let me know what's up :biggrin:

I knew it was coming. I knew I hadn’t lost any weight, or not nearly enough to be pleasing to myself. Sure enough, I’d lost a mere 5 pounds in the past six weeks. Despite the reassurances of the nurse taking my weight that almost everyone had the same difficulties due to the weather being so cold, I knew I could do better. My appetite had been on the increase, and consequently, my caloric intake on my FitDay.com report showed a gradual increase. So, I went in today for my visit, determined to have maybe a couple of cc’s just to nip that trend toward weight gain in the bud. Nope! Once these pounds come off, they are not going back on by golly! See ya! Buh-bye! I’d only lost 5 pounds, but about 4.9 of those pounds was pure fat! Now, that’s a reason to Celebrate. I might have lost more, but Dr. Baptista’s nifty machine said I had Water weight issues. Yes, I did, mostly in a swollen left ankle from doing too much this past weekend. Told ya it was a nifty machine. Finally, that incredibly handsome doctor with the soulful brown eyes and the talented hands (Get your minds out of the gutter! I’m talking about his surgical skills, thank you!) appeared. He seemed to agree that I needed a nudge toward the sweet spot. Thoughtful man that he is, he also remembered I’m needle phobic. He took the time to reassure me while swabbing my port area with alcohol. It was somewhat painful, but more weird than uncomfortable. I hate needles. I am a certified needle phobic with a tendency to faint when shown a hypodermic, much less have one coming at me. Sure, it stung. I expected that. I didn’t expect the second stab of pain when he found the port. I think he used a butterfly or something. My tits were in the way, and I have the good sense not to look down in case I do see a needle. (wry grin) Whew! No matter what, I was glad that part was over. Yes, I’d do it again, if necessary. I knew that immediately. It wasn’t THAT bad. He put some saline in. I was okay with it, and I could feel the change in pressure a bit. That was cool. Then doc had me drink some water and tell him when I felt “full” and when I felt the water go away. I never really felt full, and never really felt it go away. He said I needed more restriction. By the time I drank close to 16 oz of liquid, I had a whopping 4 cc’s in the band. Apparently, I needed more restriction than I’d guessed and that explained why I hadn’t lost. All my loss up to now had been low carb diet and habitual dieting, not a restriction. What a shame. I really thought I’d been close to my Sweet Spot. Oh, well. If millions of others can fiddle with their band until they find bliss, so can I. Well, I’m on liquids for the next couple of days. Fine by me. I’ll pop by Wal-Mart and get some more Meal Replacement shakes. It’ll be interesting to see what happens when I’m allowed solids again. I don't feel anything much when I drink a meal replacement shake, but I'm burping like an adolescent boy with a carbonated soda. :laugh:

I think the two of you need marriage counseling. He definitely needs private counseling as well. He can promise you he will never do it again, just like an alcoholic can promise they will never drink again. Addiction is an illness. People go into recovery, but they will always be recovering, not cured.

As I said earlier, Gadget, it is terrific that you are providing information for green to pass on to her niece. I do hope that green's niece is able to handle the decision she made in a way that does not leave lasting scars or any regret. She has one child and I have a feeling she knows whether her decision was necessary or not. I do know that you are very involved in the anti-abortion movement and your experience is much more broad-ranged than mine. I don't spend the kind of time that you do promoting my cause. However it has been my experience that the women that I have known personally who have opted for an abortion do not experience the kind of emotions that you referenced when you said "...but it is not uncommon for those who have to turn to all sorts of unpleasant things (drugs, alcohol, etc., even leading down the path to suicide)" In fact I have found the opposite to be true. This is not information that I have tried to seek out. It is just my own personal experiences with women I've known either as close friends or acquaintances. These women have helped me form my opinions and beliefs about the necessity of women being being allowed to make their own choice. The women that I'm speaking of are thankful that they made the decision that they did. They do not wish they hadn't had an abortion. On the other hand, the women that I've known who have given up an unplanned baby for adoption are the ones who in retrospect have wished they had been able to have an abortion. They did not have that choice for several reasons: because of their religion, or because they had family or friend intervention, or the because of the guilt heaped upon them from people who believed that they knew what was better for them, or simply didn't have the choice because abortion was illegal. Unfortunately through their unfortunate experiences, they learned that the guilt from giving a child up for adoption, for them over time, became far worse than the guilt or stigma attached to terminating the pregnancy would have been. I personally do not know one person who has been traumatized enough after an abortion to turn to drugs or suicide. But I do know women who if they had been forced to carry the baby to term, would have opted for suicide if there was no other way out of their situation. These have been my own humble experiences and the things that have helped me form my beliefs and inspired the passion in me for fighting anyone who wants to take the choice away from women. However, it should take nothing away from anyone else's personal experiences that point to a different state of mind for women they've known and I'm certainly not arguing that women will never be grief stricken after an abortion. Every woman's state of mind and circumstances are different. I will add that I have friends who have adopted children and for the most part, they have been thrilled that they were able to have a baby to love and raise. But I feel I should mention my aunt who generously adopted an older child (age 6) who turned out to be mentally deranged and wound up serving time in prison. There were times when she certainly experienced some regret, expecially as it affected her biological children. I weil also tell you about my friend who went through all the laborous paperwork and home visits and all the red tape involved in adopting her daughter and the day before she picked up her week-old baby girl, found out that she was pregnant with twins (wound up being a boy and a girl). She wanted to take the adopted little girl back, but the guilt was too much to bear. Don't get me wrong. She is a great mother to all three of her children. But she certainly has experienced some regret. Again I believe this all points to the fact that there are no simple answers to this complicated question. This is not some black and white issue that can be reduced to one single remedy for every woman. There are many, many shades of gray on this issue. And that is why allowing women to make their own choice is necessary. Taking women's legal rights away just won't work.

As well you should be, green. The documentation surrounding the (often silent or hidden) grief that mothers suffer after abortion is overwhelming. I know you haven't struggled at all with your decision, but it is not uncommon for those who have to turn to all sorts of unpleasant things (drugs, alcohol, etc., even leading down the path to suicide). It is a good start that she is expressing her grief to you now. The information I'm posting is from a pro-life group, but the research is nevertheless lengthy and valid: The Character of Post Abortion Syndrome - David C. Reardon.. I'm still waiting to hear back from some organizations about resources specific to Toronto. Most of my sources are US-based so I don't know how successful I'll be. I'll lyk when I know more.

This is one blog article I started to write before I went into hospital. I decided to postpone it until afterwards, because I didn't want my final cyber-words to be ones of negativity if things did go wrong. The surgery was a success and now I feel able to voice my thoughts on the subject that has been very much a part of my life since I can remember. Belly bashers! Growing up in a relatively privileged way, my early years of verbal abuse were pretty much limited to the playground, as most are. My nickname at school for a while was Ben the Bubble. Pretty lame and innocuous really, but when delivered with spite by all and sundry at an all boys school, it caused quite a large amount of distress. To be honest, my self-awareness was so low in those days, they could have called me "bathroom tile" and it would have hurt as much. It was simply the hateful delivery that always got me. Going home from school to be comforted was always the option I chose to get through...despite my size (upwards and outwards) I was quite a sensitive soul, so fighting for my pride was never an option. "Ben the Bubble?" questioned my mother. "Bubbles are lovely, bubbles come from champagne!". It wasn't until years later, when becoming a lover of all things alcoholic, that I really understood or appreciated that sentiment. As I reached sexual awareness that the comments and constant digs really started to kick in. I know, typical man! But, I imagine the same goes for woman-kind. Adolescence was the time that I really started to care what people thought of me physically and when my emotions where truly being developed; when they were at their most fragile. And, with the way of the world, this is when people's remarks started to get more vicious. Nice timing. As is the case with most people who feel the need to bully others across the world, the people who bothered me were never ones you would consider intelligent. In fact, it is fair to say that the people who abused the hardest were the most stupid. I guess it is a titanic lack of social unawareness and an even greater inferiority complex that urged them on. If they could make me more upset about myself than they were about themselves, that would mean (in the great scheme of things) they were happier. Unfortunately, what bullies lack in brain power, they have in numbers and venom. The easiest thing for me to cope with was the aforementioned intellectual prowess in the delivery of their scorn. I mean, it doesn't take Einstein to come up with "fat bastard" or "tubby c**t". In fact, I haven't ever heard a jibe directed at me that has ever made me deliver a mental score card of over two out of a hundred. There have been some pretty excellent jokes created on the subject in film and television but, in the necessity of a speedy jibe, the aggressors tend to opt for the more direct and easy to remember ones. Generally those under three syllables. I'm not entirely sure why overweight people are picked on so much. Perhaps we make bigger targets? Perhaps we are seen to be too lazy to chase after someone who upsets us? Certainly too greedy to put down our chicken wings to throw a punch. I guess it is the blot we cause on the wonderful society we live in. All fat people, by their very nature, are obviously so carefree about their bodies that they couldn't possibly wash and therefore smell horribly of sweat and even worse. Of course - this is utter nonsense. The vast majority of the body odour I have ever encountered has emanated from "normal" sized people, who are so worried about what other people smell like, that they forget themselves. It seems that, in the real world, us lardites are fully aware that extra skin needs more attention and we cater for such - sometimes I even admit over compensating with a few more spoonfuls of cologne than most humans can stand. If not the smell - then it has to be grotesque way we ruin the vistas of an otherwise beautiful world. Stand me at a bar full of svelte supermodels and muscle men and the whole scene is ruined for everyone. People get up from their chairs and leave their favourite drinking hole throwing up because the sea of beauty has been tarnished with the sludge of a sphincterless whale. Shame on me. Oh no - wait, it can't be that. I seem to remember most bars I have frequented have been littered with some of the most repugnant abusive assholes, throwing amazingly quite and witty jibes about my size at me - I still stand astounded and amazed at the ingenuity of "blubbery twat". Simply put - these narrow minded Neanderthal people have such a poor view of themselves that they pick on people who the believe pose no threat to them and will roll with the punches like all us chubby funsters (to quote Ricky Gervais - a surprisingly fattist fatty). I won't say it's not my fault that I'm morbidly obese (actually - today I stepped out into the simply obese category - but as it would currently take a small lollipop to tip me over, I will stay on the bigger side for the purposes of this rant). I also won't also pretend that my life would have been totally amazing without the name calling and aggressive comments that have been hurled at me - no, that would be all too much of a lie. However, what I will say is that at the point that I realised how bad this all was for me, I was already there. My way to normal was blocked by the ties of this most frustrating condition. So very blocked, that I found it an physical and mental impossibility to change my ways permanently. I did try and I tried very hard. But I failed...and got heavier. So there I was - fat and not very proud. My will power alone just wasn't up to the job. Even if it meant that I had to spend my days living with the barrage of arrows that were thrown my way to make other more figure-fortunate people comfortable with their own lives. So, I developed quite a hatred for these people. I'm a human being with the normal human feelings most people have - including vengeance. I wish them all the pain that the delivered to me and to be dished back at them a hundred-fold. Being as I am, that is my nature and it's where I stand. Not entirely honourable I know - but this set of gurglings I have decided to throw together is designed to be a therapeutic release for me and it would be pointless of me to pretend to be an other-worldly saint who forgave everyone - for they knew not what they did. I sit and write this as a small punch back at them because I know most of them knew damn well what they did. I do wish to "let it go" with time - and maybe I will as I push myself further away from the firing line. It's probably healthier that way! Most of the people who read this blog are people in my position having decided to undergo weight loss surgery or are making that decision now. Most of the people reading this are simply reliving exactly what they have been through their entire lives. Most of the people that read this will be some of the most unassuming pleasant people around, because of how they have had to grow up under a tirade of readily accepted banter, designed to tear them apart and amuse or satisfy others. Most of the people that read this will also be aware, that they are reading this without the danger of bumping into a anti-fatty browsing through the pages. I mean, would they have really made it past the word "negativity" in the first sentence? Come on - it's five syllables long! Here endeth my negativity...amen. Originally posted at:

This is one blog article I started to write before I went into hospital. I decided to postpone it until afterwards, because I didn't want my final cyber-words to be ones of negativity if things did go wrong. The surgery was a success and now I feel able to voice my thoughts on the subject that has been very much a part of my life since I can remember. Belly bashers! Growing up in a relatively privileged way, my early years of verbal abuse were pretty much limited to the playground, as most are. My nickname at school for a while was Ben the Bubble. Pretty lame and innocuous really, but when delivered with spite by all and sundry at an all boys school, it caused quite a large amount of distress. To be honest, my self-awareness was so low in those days, they could have called me "bathroom tile" and it would have hurt as much. It was simply the hateful delivery that always got me. Going home from school to be comforted was always the option I chose to get through...despite my size (upwards and outwards) I was quite a sensitive soul, so fighting for my pride was never an option. "Ben the Bubble?" questioned my mother. "Bubbles are lovely, bubbles come from champagne!". It wasn't until years later, when becoming a lover of all things alcoholic, that I really understood or appreciated that sentiment. As I reached sexual awareness that the comments and constant digs really started to kick in. I know, typical man! But, I imagine the same goes for woman-kind. Adolescence was the time that I really started to care what people thought of me physically and when my emotions where truly being developed; when they were at their most fragile. And, with the way of the world, this is when people's remarks started to get more vicious. Nice timing. As is the case with most people who feel the need to bully others across the world, the people who bothered me were never ones you would consider intelligent. In fact, it is fair to say that the people who abused the hardest were the most stupid. I guess it is a titanic lack of social unawareness and an even greater inferiority complex that urged them on. If they could make me more upset about myself than they were about themselves, that would mean (in the great scheme of things) they were happier. Unfortunately, what bullies lack in brain power, they have in numbers and venom. The easiest thing for me to cope with was the aforementioned intellectual prowess in the delivery of their scorn. I mean, it doesn't take Einstein to come up with "fat bastard" or "tubby c**t". In fact, I haven't ever heard a jibe directed at me that has ever made me deliver a mental score card of over two out of a hundred. There have been some pretty excellent jokes created on the subject in film and television but, in the necessity of a speedy jibe, the aggressors tend to opt for the more direct and easy to remember ones. Generally those under three syllables. I'm not entirely sure why overweight people are picked on so much. Perhaps we make bigger targets? Perhaps we are seen to be too lazy to chase after someone who upsets us? Certainly too greedy to put down our chicken wings to throw a punch. I guess it is the blot we cause on the wonderful society we live in. All fat people, by their very nature, are obviously so carefree about their bodies that they couldn't possibly wash and therefore smell horribly of sweat and even worse. Of course - this is utter nonsense. The vast majority of the body odour I have ever encountered has emanated from "normal" sized people, who are so worried about what other people smell like, that they forget themselves. It seems that, in the real world, us lardites are fully aware that extra skin needs more attention and we cater for such - sometimes I even admit over compensating with a few more spoonfuls of cologne than most humans can stand. If not the smell - then it has to be grotesque way we ruin the vistas of an otherwise beautiful world. Stand me at a bar full of svelte supermodels and muscle men and the whole scene is ruined for everyone. People get up from their chairs and leave their favourite drinking hole throwing up because the sea of beauty has been tarnished with the sludge of a sphincterless whale. Shame on me. Oh no - wait, it can't be that. I seem to remember most bars I have frequented have been littered with some of the most repugnant abusive assholes, throwing amazingly quite and witty jibes about my size at me - I still stand astounded and amazed at the ingenuity of "blubbery twat". Simply put - these narrow minded Neanderthal people have such a poor view of themselves that they pick on people who the believe pose no threat to them and will roll with the punches like all us chubby funsters (to quote Ricky Gervais - a surprisingly fattist fatty). I won't say it's not my fault that I'm morbidly obese (actually - today I stepped out into the simply obese category - but as it would currently take a small lollipop to tip me over, I will stay on the bigger side for the purposes of this rant). I also won't also pretend that my life would have been totally amazing without the name calling and aggressive comments that have been hurled at me - no, that would be all too much of a lie. However, what I will say is that at the point that I realised how bad this all was for me, I was already there. My way to normal was blocked by the ties of this most frustrating condition. So very blocked, that I found it an physical and mental impossibility to change my ways permanently. I did try and I tried very hard. But I failed...and got heavier. So there I was - fat and not very proud. My will power alone just wasn't up to the job. Even if it meant that I had to spend my days living with the barrage of arrows that were thrown my way to make other more figure-fortunate people comfortable with their own lives. So, I developed quite a hatred for these people. I'm a human being with the normal human feelings most people have - including vengeance. I wish them all the pain that the delivered to me and to be dished back at them a hundred-fold. Being as I am, that is my nature and it's where I stand. Not entirely honourable I know - but this set of gurglings I have decided to throw together is designed to be a therapeutic release for me and it would be pointless of me to pretend to be an other-worldly saint who forgave everyone - for they knew not what they did. I sit and write this as a small punch back at them because I know most of them knew damn well what they did. I do wish to "let it go" with time - and maybe I will as I push myself further away from the firing line. It's probably healthier that way! Most of the people who read this blog are people in my position having decided to undergo weight loss surgery or are making that decision now. Most of the people reading this are simply reliving exactly what they have been through their entire lives. Most of the people that read this will be some of the most unassuming pleasant people around, because of how they have had to grow up under a tirade of readily accepted banter, designed to tear them apart and amuse or satisfy others. Most of the people that read this will also be aware, that they are reading this without the danger of bumping into a anti-fatty browsing through the pages. I mean, would they have really made it past the word "negativity" in the first sentence? Come on - it's five syllables long! Here endeth my negativity...amen. Originally posted at:

WOW this is exactly why I chose not to tell anyone about getting the lapband besides my immediate family. They are all on board with what I am doing the only one that seems to say negative stuff is my sister but the fact of the matter is she is a alcoholic and wont admit it. I think that she is just jealous because I am doing somthing about my problem but she still wont admit her problem openly. My wife always says to me why are you keeping it a secret why dodnt you justtell people you are having it done and the reason is because of people like snxgetfits aunt, Serentity55 so called friend and people in edub's life that are pissing him off. I was almost going to tell some of my other friends and family but I am so glad that I didnt specially after reading this post people are just dicks and until they walk in my shoes they will never understand. I just admitted to myself that i have a problem about 2 months ago i trul belive that obesity is a disease just like some that has a drug problem or some one that has a drinking problem or anything else done in excess. it is a disease and I am doing somthing that will help me along (LapBand) it isnt a sighn of weaknes but rather a sign of strentgth that you are admitting you have a problem and are also admitting that somthing has to be done and are getting the required help neccessarry to accoplish your goal of becoming healthty and as all of us know that have already been banded or on there way to be banded it is not a esy task and there are some good days and bad days. But Like i said beofre until you have this problem you dont know what its like just like I dont know how people can shoot heroin or smoke crack or how alcoholics cant just have one or two beers. well I think evryone gets the point.

Whoo Hoo! I can finally update my Ticker! One “ten pound head” (with my fat face) gone and nine or so more to go. I think I win the award for slowest weight loss pre-band…actually, probably not as I’ve run across quite a few others here who also weren’t allowed to lose much on their Six Months of Lingering Torture. I know, I know, you’re saying what’s so torturous with not losing much weight??!! Gee I REALLY feel sorry for you BG! I’m telling you if you’ve come to this point in your life where you feel desperate enough to get WLS, then you’re ready to make the change, and you want it to start happening sooner, rather than later. I’d describe my feelings much like an alcoholic would about ‘hitting bottom’. For me, and I think many others, we had some sort of turning point, or ‘moment’ where we hit bottom and decided to consider WLS (I’ll share my moment another time). It’s actually been hard while you’re researching and learning all this not to be able to put it all into practice. I swear it's made the time go slower too, probably because you don't have as much to do (tracking calories, exercising, planning/cooking diet meals). If you’re someone like me (professional dieter) who is always either gaining or losing it’s been weird staying about the same weight. I haven’t stayed about the same weight this long in I don’t know when! So ‘breaking’ my plan, and actually starting my stricter diet this last month of the Six Months of Lingering Torture, has been a great feeling. I started my dieting last Monday and haven’t really been cutting the calories too drastically yet (I’m planning to step things down) as I didn’t want to lose a TON of weight this month. Well, you can all call me an ‘April Fool’ if I mess this whole thing up and get denied! Time to update my Ticker tomorrow…FINALLY!...I hope I remember how! Me, Summer 2010: “Lost Weight? Me? Thanks for noticing!”

Whoo Hoo! I can finally update my Ticker! One “ten pound head” (with my fat face) gone and nine or so more to go. I think I win the award for slowest weight loss pre-band…actually, probably not as I’ve run across quite a few others here who also weren’t allowed to lose much on their Six Months of Lingering Torture. I know, I know, you’re saying what’s so torturous with not losing much weight??!! Gee I REALLY feel sorry for you BG! I’m telling you if you’ve come to this point in your life where you feel desperate enough to get WLS, then you’re ready to make the change, and you want it to start happening sooner, rather than later. I’d describe my feelings much like an alcoholic would about ‘hitting bottom’. For me, and I think many others, we had some sort of turning point, or ‘moment’ where we hit bottom and decided to consider WLS (I’ll share my moment another time). It’s actually been hard while you’re researching and learning all this not to be able to put it all into practice. I swear it's made the time go slower too, probably because you don't have as much to do (tracking calories, exercising, planning/cooking diet meals). If you’re someone like me (professional dieter) who is always either gaining or losing it’s been weird staying about the same weight. I haven’t stayed about the same weight this long in I don’t know when! So ‘breaking’ my plan, and actually starting my stricter diet this last month of the Six Months of Lingering Torture, has been a great feeling. I started my dieting last Monday and haven’t really been cutting the calories too drastically yet (I’m planning to step things down) as I didn’t want to lose a TON of weight this month. Well, you can all call me an ‘April Fool’ if I mess this whole thing up and get denied! Time to update my Ticker tomorrow…FINALLY!...I hope I remember how! Me, Summer 2010: “Lost Weight? Me? Thanks for noticing!”

My doctor doesn't allow alcohol for one year after surgery. Too many empty calories.....

Sorry it took me so long to respond. I was hosting a baby shower today for my friend who adopted the baby who was brought to her through LBT . It was awesome and when she told the story at the shower, everyone had tears in their eyes. To answer your question, green: this particular organization, as I know it, is not an outreach of an organized religious denomination, but I believe the founders are Christian. They do work with churches as well as secular community outreach organizations, therapists, etc. To my knowledge, there are not any specifically atheist post-abortion counseling organizations, but while some groups are an outreach of a particular church (e.g. Rachael's Vineyard is a Catholic group), this one is not. I am confident they would respect anyone's wishes to not be "preached at", because their goal is healing from the grief after an abortion, not religious conversion. As a comparison, Alcoholics Anonymous is believed by many to have its foundation in Christianity, and most people know they invite members to appeal "to a higher power" (there is some dispute about the origins, but this is the general understanding of the organization). Yet despite its roots, many people other than Christians have benefited from AA.

beer is out but I was told wine and a mixed drink is okay do not mix alcohol with a coke or sprite