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Paul Simon’s, aptly names anthology of solo hits is called “Negotiations and Love Songs.” He does a great job of capturing the often bizarre and illogical discussions and negotiations we have with ourselves. I think he has done a better job than most in capturing the 5 Stages of the Mourning (Denial, Sadness, Anger, Bargaining, and Acceptance). Well…last night I found myself locked in a mortal battle of wills with Denial. Obviously, I have spent years denying that I had a real problem and that I could overcome it with “will power” or the other great line “…I’ll just stop eating…” I have a friend, that is a recovered alcoholic, and he always said giving up booze was easier than food. Because, you CAN just stop drinking, stopping food eventually kills you… he always said that recovery rate would be zero, if every AA member had to take three shots a day, but was still required to stop all other drinking. So how did Denial sink it’s claws into me? I have been doing much better than I thought I would with the liquid diet, and the Queen of Denial was whispering to me last night…If you have done this good so far, just keep it up, skip the surgery and save the money…maybe your will power will hold out this time…ARRRRGGHHH. Denial is one seductive bitch! So how do you combat Denial? I use the mirror test. I taped a picture of me from high school/college times (about 190LBS), and one of a friend of mine who has the look I want when I get to the other side, then I stand naked in front of the mirror and ask myself do I look like the picture? Obviously the answer is No. Denial, I abjure you, I reject you and I will overcome you. The sweet siren song of Denial will not lead me to the rocky shores to find myself, again wrecked and wondering how it all went wrong. I know the Lapband is only a tool, but, it is also a weapon in a lifelong battle that I will win this time.

I wrote a lengthy post and lost it . . . aargh!!! So I will have to rewrite an abbreviated version, lol. I am not a member of the SCA but have attended many events similar in nature. You should be fine going to events banded as long as you are prepared. I would suggest bringing a cooler and other items to help with our post-banding diet. Lots of Protein options, Jello cups, sugar-free pudding cups, cottage cheese, string cheese, some low fat crackers and other band friendly items willl help. If you are still in a liquid stage, you can buy pre-mixed Isopure drinks in a case (maybe $30-$40) that can supplement your protein. Just make sure you have plenty of stuff that you know you can eat with you. If you are purchasing any meals from a vendor, be careful about trying new things that you haven't tried after banding. You want to go really slow and carefully just in case. Also remember that one meal may now be several meals post banding, your food expenses may go way down if you have a means to keep things fresh. Be careful about breads. If you drink alcohol, you want to stay away from beer or other carbonated beverages . . . but wines or mead might be OK in limited quantities depending on what your doctor says (although you want to watch the calories). This might seem gross, but you also want to keep a container, perhaps a big plastic cup, in your tent/yurt/or whatever you are sleeping in for emergencies. If something gets stuck and has to come back up it is best to be prepared. Also, if you are stuck or need to PB, it can take a while to work its way through or out. You don't want to be holed up in a restroom or port-a-port for an extended period. This may never happen, especially if you are careful, but it is best to be prepared. If you get yourself involved in any war related activities, you would want to make sure that you are completely healed from surgery. Also, if you bump your port with any force, it is going to hurt no matter how far out you are from surgery. One good thing to consider is that you will need to think about making, buying or modifying your clothes for the 2010 season. I am sure that whatever you are wearing this year is not going to work for next year . . . and that is the most fun of all the banding dilemmas you may experience :0) Good luck with banding!!!

Average rate of loss is 10% of your total body weight at the six month mark. Most of you are on target. I have had moments of struggling too since being banded. It was in my case completely due to my own poor choices. Are you drinking alcohol? Tracking what you eat? Cutting out refined foods? Exercising? If you can't honestly answer the above questions as they ought to be answered, then you have some work to do still. There ARE, however, people for whom the band is not effective. Everyone who feels discouraged by lack of loss needs to be talking to their surgeon.

I just read over some of my blogs and posts. I don't even remember what its like to feel like that anymore. Today I feel good. I actually just broke up with this recent boyfriend and I feel good about having some me time. He was just drunk and said some stupid things to me. But I'm just not going to settle or put up with it. Why? Hell no am I going to be my mom. No way! Alcoholism is a serious issue. When you don't know when to stop drinking every time you drink, you shouldn't even waste your time. Since he isn't smart enough to not waste time, I'm not going to waste mine. I'm a freshman in college. Your high if you think I can't move on. :]

I just read over some of my blogs and posts. I don't even remember what its like to feel like that anymore. Today I feel good. I actually just broke up with this recent boyfriend and I feel good about having some me time. He was just drunk and said some stupid things to me. But I'm just not going to settle or put up with it. Why? Hell no am I going to be my mom. No way! Alcoholism is a serious issue. When you don't know when to stop drinking every time you drink, you shouldn't even waste your time. Since he isn't smart enough to not waste time, I'm not going to waste mine. I'm a freshman in college. Your high if you think I can't move on. :]

LOL, yeah me too (laxative). I still adore some of the SF chocolates with Sugar Alcohols...they're still lower in calories than real chocolate even when counting all the carbs, but if I eat more than one or two in a day......instant colon cleanse.

Hey Friends of Bill W, I am very new to all this and what a relief to see that not only can I talk to people who have experanice in having the Lap Band surg, but also who are in recovery!! Love how God works!!! As you can see I am looking into talking to my doc about the surgery but I wanted to get more info, especially from people who have had the surgery. But as an Alcoholic, my commitee is running crazy. Im in fear and have come to the realization that not only was alcohol my best friend, but so was food. And it's still around to comfort me in times of fear and crazyness. If anyone has any words of encougement, advise, "suggestions", Big Book pages, ANYTHING, that will help please feel free to post a comment, reply, or even email at cvar75@aol.com. Thanks so much to all!:thumbup:

That's true! I had something called "non-alcoholic fatty liver disease," so for me it was cutting out alcohol AND carbs. I say, enjoy your pasta! And have a couple bites for me please!!! With parmesean . . . . .YUM!!! Riley

I want to have pasta for dinner tonight... and was thining of canceling then i read what causes a fatty liver and its mainly alcohol.. and just being fat lol im already fat and im not drinking. So i will have my last bit of pasta:D My husband is driving me nuts today!

I have my mom's baby set-silver. My son has a set of our flatware someone gave him in a baby set (but it's packed away so I can't borrow it). If you want to spend a little more I would check some of the major flatware stainless/silver companies. Here's a link to the Oneida set he received (I don't have an idea for a travel case...hard eyeglasses case?). Click HERE Good luck DB with the doc appt. More than you probably want to know but I do count these, and I'm no expert. Sugar alcohols are not sugars or alcohols but are carbohydrates called polyols. They don't impact blood sugar significantly "in most people", so most diebetics can tolerate these. As far as how they should be counted...When products started arriving with these in them low carb dieters were told by many diet plans that they could deduct these off the carb total (when Atkins started making their own products they changed from not allowing these to allowing them). The urban ledgend when I was on Atkins (several successful times) was that these just passed through your body. Not true, they are metabolized just like other carbs, well not exactly as once absorbed they are converted to energy by processes that require little or no insulin. Some of the sugar alcohol is not absorbed into the blood but passes through the small intestine and are fermented by bacteria in the large intestine (so they are metabolized). Overconsumption may produce abdominal gas and a laxative effect. Just because they don't effect blood sugar doesn't mean they shouldn't count like other carbs that have little effect on blood sugar like green vegetables. There's been a lot of controversy lately on whether or not these should be counted as carbs or not, but most agree they should have a limited use and are mainly a benefit for diabetics needing to control blood sugars. The commonly used sugar alcohols include sorbitol, mannitol, xylitol, maltitol, maltitol syrup, lactitol, erythritol, isomalt and hydrogenated starch hydrolysates. Their calorie content ranges from zero to three calories per gram compared to four calories per gram for sucrose or other sugars (most have a little over half the calories per gram as sugar). Most sugar alcohols are less sweet than sucrose; maltitol and xylitol are about as sweet as sucrose. So the pros are they contain less calories than sugar, but beware that these are not 'free' foods and they usually contain a lot of carbs. There is a big misconception that these carbs shouldn't count. They are not the same as zero calorie sugar substitues like saccharine.

Congrats Doodlebug! for staying on track and good luck with the doctor tomorrow!! I, personally, have never heard of sugar alcohol...but that doesn't say much...Sorry I couldn't help

Hey every one!! I made it back from my 3 day trip and it was AWESOME!! I did make good food choices, and ate my proteins first. I go back to the Dr. tomorrow, so I was to scared to mess up!! Do you know how embarrasing it would be to be on an 900 calorie diet and gain wt.!!! That would just be the most awful thing that could thing that could happen!! So anyway, I will know tomorrow how much wt. I've lost and I can (maybe post a loss!), haven't done that yet. Does anyone out there tell me what is alcohol sugar and should we be having it in our foods. I am finding low sugar or sugar free food that have sugar alcohol in them and often they are more than the sugar grams. I am so confused, HELP !!! Talk to ya later !

Hello girlies!!! OMG, I'm glad to be back on. I have so so many pages to catch up on!! So I hope everyone is doing ok and nothing major has happened while I was absent. I pretty much filled ya'll in on my vacation but yes, we have such a wonderful time. It is trully like paradise there and we relaxed and pretty much did nothing the entire time. The days go by so slowly there, it's absolutely wonderful. We would get up in the mornings around 8ish and put on a bathing suit and a cover up and flip flops and wander down to breakfast. Huge breakfast buffett spread with the freshest fruit imaginable. They would whip up whatever type of juice you were in the mood for. We would take our plates and sit out on the balcony overlooking the ocean and just eat leisurely. Then we would wander down to the pool or to the beach and take a long nap. Would wake up a few hours later and ask the pool guy to bring us pina coladas and margaritas and that would pretty much set the tone for the rest of the day. We would eat lunch either by the pool, on the beach or we would hop on a little boat and they would take us to a little town over and we would eat on the beach there... The freshest seafood you can imagine. That's mostly what we ate there the whole time. Fresh seafood, fresh fruits and vegetables. But I think the amount of alcohol we consumed pretty much negated any of the good benefits that we got from all that healthy food, LOL! It was pina coladas, margaritas, rum punch. We would eat, drink, nap, and then do it all over again. I really really wish we could all go down there. It's absolutely amazing and it does help just de-stress you and just forget about the rest of the world even if it's just for a few days. It makes you come home refreshed and able to cope with every day life just a little bit better. This little high will last me just enough to get me to my next vacation, LOL... So I ended up getting my laptop back on friday but something else is wrong with it now. Juan went to use it on saturday night and all of a sudden it blacked out on him. I think that we're gonna have to suck it up and just buy a new one. Good thing they're not too expensive right now. So if anyone sees a good deal please let me know! Weekend was so beautiful here in Houston! We did a Theology seminar at church on Saturday and it lasted from 8am to 8pm so we missed that whole day but Sunday we made the best of it. We got up early, went to breakfast, went to church, hit the German Festival for a few hours, then took our bikes and went to the park, then had dinner at an outdoor cafe. We got home pretty early but we were pooped so we went straight to bed. I read for a few hours in bed and finally dozed off around 11pm. My boss is out of town all this week so things will be quiet around here!! YAY YAY YAY i'm gonna go try to catch up on the posts now!!

Careypea, don't worry about the nurse. If (when) she starts to give you a hard time, tell her it has been an emotional thing with you - and you are there to get your fill because you are dealing with those issues. You are not there for a lecture, you are there for a fill. Does your surgeon have a psychologist set up for patients to work with? I have continued to see the one I saw prior to surgery - on an infrequent basis, but still seeing him about every 2-3 months. We are on an "as-needed" basis at this point. You have some issues he/she could help you with - practical help with emotional eating and such things. Most surgeons work with a person like that or have suggestions about some who help people with our disease cope with the emotional aspects of it. Required reading for my shrink is a book called "The Emotional First + Aid Kit" by Cynthia L. Alexander, PsyD. It is available on Amazon for a modest price (paperback). My shrink said to BUY it, not borrow it from the library, because I could find it very helpful to refer back to as needed. The unfortunate thing about our disease/addiction to food - the drug addict can stop - the alcoholic can stop - but we still have to eat. You have taken a huge step in putting your emotions down on paper. It has helped you to talk about it with your most treasured friends. There will always be those like the nurse who are well-meaning in intent, but mis-guided in action. Pay attention to their intent, and forgive them their action. You do not owe an explanation to those people, but you do owe your best effort to yourself. God has guided you to this point and He is not going to abandon your here. Let it go and concentrate on the steps to make this journey successful.

Yeah, I almost NEVER do this. I went to a party at ColoradoChick's last night, but I was very good with the alcohol. In 5 hours, I had one beer and a small glass of red wine, so it wasn't alcohol-induced. I figured it was more to do with the emotional week I had and my storming off the job calling my judge an effin' hypocrite. :thumbup:

Hello April bandsters, I have a date of April 1st for my surgery. The only issue that I am having is that I am going on vacation May 16th to Dominican Republic for a week and I was wondering if it is to soon to fly and what type of restrictions will I have with food and alcohol intake. Is 6 weeks enough rest time and will I be able to go into pool that soon with the incisions??? My Dr. said I can wait till after I got back from vacation but that would have set me back into the summer and I didnt think I can wait any longer. Any suggestions from anyone???? Did anyone swim 5 to 6 weeks after surgery? very confused.

Now I feel like we're having a useful discussion. WasABB's comments on alcoholism are somewhat on point also. The difference here from whatever I did before and any splurges that eventually took me off prior game plans is that there is a guaranteed end date to the vacation and a scheduled appointment for refill afterwards. That splurge mentality that has failed us before in trying prior diets is based upon the mental thought "I'm doing okay, I can have one day off, then get back on the horse." I chose lap-band because I know I have a problem with eating and that I do a terrible job of controlling myself. For this vacation, I am going in with the thought "I know I have a problem, I will do my best to utilize the skills I've learned to manage the vacation, but because those are ultimately not enough in the long term, I will be refilled after vacation." To me, this mindset and a specified end date is the biggest difference between pre-band diets/splurges and the circumstances of the vacation. Also, so we can avoid additional comments that I've already made up my mind, which is categorically not true, let me expand upon some earlier comments. Sometimes it is important just to have the conversation, but that conversation's utility is directly proportional to the strength of the rationale behind people's arguments. So please don't take my push back as denial, entrenched mindset, or anything else of that nature. I'm pushing back to further the conversation and probe the issues and/or because some of the comments raise genuine new questions about what I originally posted. I am quite conflicted about what to do and raise it now so that I can carefully think about this for 8.5 months rather than try to figure out what the hell I'm going to do 3 weeks before vacation.

Fine, take out the adjectives. You are still suggesting that if you continue on the path you and your doctor agreed upon for you that this is insulting to your host. It's a bit for us having unfills and such like an alcoholic wanting to drink on vacation. This is a lifestyle change, not something we use only when it's convenient. You can still eat all the same foods, just eat less. What is more important here, your health or eating to satisfy your host? If you are trying to lose weight and your host sees this as insulting, tough. It's your health. One of the problems that I see here is that if you look at the boards... when people get unfilled for various reasons they sometimes have a hard time finding a sweet spot again. It's the nature of the band. Read, you'll see what I am talking about. If you are at your sweet spot now why risk it?

Part of the problem with this discussion is that people are using loaded words like "huge," "gorge," and "overeat" that I did not use in my questions. I think somewhere between the 1/2 to 1 cup allowed by the band and huge/gorge/overeat is a reasonable compromise for 3 weeks with the knowledge that I will get the band re-filled as soon as I get home. I don't expect to be served claimjumper or otherwise supersized portions (one of the many good reasons Europeans are generally in better shape than Americans), but I know that no one will be putting 4 ounces of food in front of me either. And I'm not looking to put away multiple plates of Pasta. My intent is to eat with the non-band habits that I have painstakingly developed for the benefit of the band (and that you can see resulted in decent weight loss leading up to surgery earlier this month). This includes eating slowly, chewing thoroughly, avoiding drinking with meals, and limiting alcohol. Also, I will be continuing to exercise as intensely as I do here with the added bonus of walking around all day rather than sitting at a desk.

Long2bThin, Thank you so much for this post. I too have stopped losing. But as you mentioned it is so easy to "get away" with things that you know you shouldn't do. My down fall has been alcohol. I stayed away from it in the beginning as told, but during the holidays I had some wine and it was okay. But then after the holidays, I still had wine. I was laid off from my job after 15 years and I was feeling sorry for myself. Who wants to hire an old lady? I am going to do what you suggested. I am going to remember how I felt post op and get that enthusiasm back. I know I can do it. Thanks again. Lone Star Loser

Hey guys and gals! Well I just got back from Las Vegas and according to my scale i did gain a little bit like 3lbs, but when i weigh on the drs scale I will still be lower then i was last time they saw me. So i am sooo relieved! We had Filet Mignon, Salmon, potatoes, tri tip, Cheesecake, Creme Brule, goodness should i go on! It was what i consider the "last meals..." :smile2: Good thing is NO ALCOHOL was consumed and I WAS IN VEGAS! Yeaaa! Ok so im getting SOOOO NERVOUS! I cant stop the feelings of Excitement, Fear, anxiety, uncertainty etc. Am i the only one that was scared at this point? I was better off before i went to vegas then i am now lol. Well I am planningo n going Sat 11- 1 sounds good, what room? The blood work was a lot of blood i know that:D Talk to you all soon, everyone add my YIM Or_eo17

I went to today for my 3rd weigh in/fill and was down another 10 pounds! Wooooo-hooooo! Every time I zip up a size 18, I still can’t believe it! It’s strange that I can pretty much predict down to the pound how much I’m going to loose every month…and yes, I only weight once a month. My mom asked me if I’d lost as much as I was hoping for, and I told her, “yes,” because even though I was hoping to loose 12-15 lbs, I knew that was unrealistic, and I knew going in that I was going to be down about 10 lbs. And really, when you think about it, what difference is two more pounds going to make? It’s not. It’s not like people won’t notice that you’ve lost 38 pounds, but they WILL notice 40? A steady loss of 2 lbs. a week is fine with me, hell, it’s more than fine; it’s GREAT! So, here’s what’s weird…and this is sooooo difficult to explain to people who haven’t been banded. At my last fill, I actually felt real restriction, so for the first time in my life, I don’t obsess over food. I don’t binge. I don’t eat and eat and eat and then eat some more. Food has become a non-issue. When anyone asks where I want to eat, I tell them I don’t care; because I really don’t. It’s just not a big deal. So, what’s the problem? Here’s the problem: For almost my entire life I’ve been an addict. My eating disorder had as much of a hold on me as heroin would have on a junkie, or booze would have on an alcoholic. Now, when I’m not hungry, or I’m satisfied…when I’m not “using” food, I associate that feeling with “binging”. Does that make sense? It’s just that it’s been that way for SO long, that my mind has trouble accepting that I’m satisfied and not hungry, and it’s NOT because I’ve eaten everything in sight…it’s because I’m banded. So, I’ve walked around these past 5 weeks thinking, “Shit! I can’t believe I did that! How could I have eaten all that food? How could I go back to “using?” Then, I have to actively remind myself that I haven’t gone back to my old ways; I haven’t binged. It’s just strange…a good strange, but very unsettling all the same. And, get this; I go in and tell my nurse that I don’t think I need a fill, but I’m not sure. She hooks me up and has me drink the “stuff,” and she says, “Oh yeah, you need a fill.” I ask her how she can tell, and she says that she can tell by how easily the liquid is going down. So, as I’m getting ready to leave, she reminds me that I won’t be back for three months, but if I need a fill I need to let them know. My thing is this; I won’t know if I need a fill. I didn’t know this time! I tell her this and she says, “Well if you find yourself getting hungry, then you know you need a fill.” O.K…I didn’t get hungry this time. And I won’t get hungry next time. I guess what I do, is just push it out of my head and ignore it. I joke around that I’m really good at being hungry, but I guess, it’s not a joke. It’s kind of pathetic in a way; I’m so used to being hungry that it’s normal now. Ah well, I guess that’s a concept only a former fat kid can grasp. At any rate, I will close saying this: My life is so GREAT that I can’t believe it’s MINE!

I went to today for my 3rd weigh in/fill and was down another 10 pounds! Wooooo-hooooo! Every time I zip up a size 18, I still can’t believe it! It’s strange that I can pretty much predict down to the pound how much I’m going to loose every month…and yes, I only weight once a month. My mom asked me if I’d lost as much as I was hoping for, and I told her, “yes,” because even though I was hoping to loose 12-15 lbs, I knew that was unrealistic, and I knew going in that I was going to be down about 10 lbs. And really, when you think about it, what difference is two more pounds going to make? It’s not. It’s not like people won’t notice that you’ve lost 38 pounds, but they WILL notice 40? A steady loss of 2 lbs. a week is fine with me, hell, it’s more than fine; it’s GREAT! So, here’s what’s weird…and this is sooooo difficult to explain to people who haven’t been banded. At my last fill, I actually felt real restriction, so for the first time in my life, I don’t obsess over food. I don’t binge. I don’t eat and eat and eat and then eat some more. Food has become a non-issue. When anyone asks where I want to eat, I tell them I don’t care; because I really don’t. It’s just not a big deal. So, what’s the problem? Here’s the problem: For almost my entire life I’ve been an addict. My eating disorder had as much of a hold on me as heroin would have on a junkie, or booze would have on an alcoholic. Now, when I’m not hungry, or I’m satisfied…when I’m not “using” food, I associate that feeling with “binging”. Does that make sense? It’s just that it’s been that way for SO long, that my mind has trouble accepting that I’m satisfied and not hungry, and it’s NOT because I’ve eaten everything in sight…it’s because I’m banded. So, I’ve walked around these past 5 weeks thinking, “Shit! I can’t believe I did that! How could I have eaten all that food? How could I go back to “using?” Then, I have to actively remind myself that I haven’t gone back to my old ways; I haven’t binged. It’s just strange…a good strange, but very unsettling all the same. And, get this; I go in and tell my nurse that I don’t think I need a fill, but I’m not sure. She hooks me up and has me drink the “stuff,” and she says, “Oh yeah, you need a fill.” I ask her how she can tell, and she says that she can tell by how easily the liquid is going down. So, as I’m getting ready to leave, she reminds me that I won’t be back for three months, but if I need a fill I need to let them know. My thing is this; I won’t know if I need a fill. I didn’t know this time! I tell her this and she says, “Well if you find yourself getting hungry, then you know you need a fill.” O.K…I didn’t get hungry this time. And I won’t get hungry next time. I guess what I do, is just push it out of my head and ignore it. I joke around that I’m really good at being hungry, but I guess, it’s not a joke. It’s kind of pathetic in a way; I’m so used to being hungry that it’s normal now. Ah well, I guess that’s a concept only a former fat kid can grasp. At any rate, I will close saying this: My life is so GREAT that I can’t believe it’s MINE!

I think the history of alcoholism in a family is most likely linked to a genetic predisposition towards addiction. You are right that it is more than just he history . . . but the history may well be caused by the genetics. My family has a strong history of alcoholism running through it so I am sure the genetics are there. However, I am not really a drinker and I could count the average # of drinks I have had in a given year on my fingers. I haven't drank at all for the last two years. I think I might just be naturally high, lol. I am certainly ditzy enough on occasion that you might think I was imbibing in something a little stronger than Water. :0) So somehow, I managed to not pick up an addiction thus far in the realm of drugs or alcohol and I don't think I will since I don't partake. However, addiction has reared its ugly head in my personal life in the realms of food and caffeine . . . hence the need for a band. It may be this genetic predisposition and/or family history coupled with the way I was raised that got me to obesity. I do agree, there is no excuse for driving if you have been drinking. Even if you are only 1/10 over the limit, you are still capable of causing someone else harm. Then of course there are those people who are naturally high . . . perhaps they shouldn't be driving either, lol.