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Congratulations Judy!! We'll all be saying Ay Ay Captin! and nodding at you Terry, its so nice to be back on here again, I did miss you guys too :tea: Well tonight we all went down to my mum n dads as it was his birthday, I had NO alcohol ...its been a week tomorrow since I cut it out, its weird not drinking, at first I thought, oww I wish I could have a drink, but as the night wore on, it was ok, this is the third social occassion in the past week I havent had a drink going out. I guess as time goes on, it will get easier and easier I hope (I sound like an alcoholic, lol!) but its strange though going totally tee total when everyone else drinks wine etc at celebration events. Got to go back to my own Dr tomorrow and let her know how Im doing on the 'chill pills' (she said no alcohol for 6 months while Im on them).....so far so good...but its only been a week nearly!! Ta ta for now, Love sara xxxxxxx

Do ya'll keep a food journal on fitday.com or something like it? I haven't since my LC days but I do remember that it was essential to keeping me on track. Obviously, I fell way off the track somewhere along the line!! So instead of deluding myself into believing I'm cutting down on carbs and calories, I decided to go back to fitday yesterday. HA!! Good lawd!! No wonder I'm 75# overweight if I think this is a "light day".... <TABLE class=data_sheet cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=1><TBODY><TR><TH> grams </TH><TH>cals</TH><TH noWrap>%total</TH></TR><TR><TD class=data_sheet_highlight>Total cals:</TD><TD class=data_sheet_highlight></TD><TD class=data_sheet_highlight align=right>2067 </TD><TD class=data_sheet_highlight></TD></TR><TR><TD class=data_sheet_highlight>Fat:</TD><TD class=data_sheet_highlight align=right>124 </TD><TD class=data_sheet_highlight align=right>1112 </TD><TD class=data_sheet_highlight align=right>55%</TD></TR><TR><TD>Sat:</TD><TD align=right>35 </TD><TD align=right>312 </TD><TD align=right>15%</TD></TR><TR><TD>Poly:</TD><TD align=right>30 </TD><TD align=right>270 </TD><TD align=right>13%</TD></TR><TR><TD>Mono:</TD><TD align=right>47 </TD><TD align=right>421 </TD><TD align=right>21%</TD></TR><TR><TD class=data_sheet_highlight>Carbs:</TD><TD class=data_sheet_highlight align=right>129 </TD><TD class=data_sheet_highlight align=right>443 </TD><TD class=data_sheet_highlight align=right>22%</TD></TR><TR><TD>Fiber:</TD><TD align=right>18 </TD><TD align=right>0 </TD><TD align=right>0%</TD></TR><TR><TD class=data_sheet_highlight>Protein:</TD><TD class=data_sheet_highlight align=right>121 </TD><TD class=data_sheet_highlight align=right>483 </TD><TD class=data_sheet_highlight align=right>24%</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>:cry ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I went back and checked it and sure 'nuf, there was an error....here's the correct counts (whew!!) although it's still too high. CORRECTED: <TABLE class=data_sheet cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=1><TBODY><TR><TD class=data_sheet_highlight>Total:</TD><TD class=data_sheet_highlight></TD><TD class=data_sheet_highlight align=right>1592 </TD><TD class=data_sheet_highlight> </TD></TR><TR><TD class=data_sheet_highlight>Fat:</TD><TD class=data_sheet_highlight align=right>96 </TD><TD class=data_sheet_highlight align=right>867 </TD><TD class=data_sheet_highlight align=right>55%</TD></TR><TR><TD> Sat:</TD><TD align=right>26 </TD><TD align=right>236 </TD><TD align=right>15%</TD></TR><TR><TD> Poly:</TD><TD align=right>23 </TD><TD align=right>205 </TD><TD align=right>13%</TD></TR><TR><TD> Mono:</TD><TD align=right>37 </TD><TD align=right>331 </TD><TD align=right>21%</TD></TR><TR><TD class=data_sheet_highlight>Carbs:</TD><TD class=data_sheet_highlight align=right>90 </TD><TD class=data_sheet_highlight align=right>299 </TD><TD class=data_sheet_highlight align=right>19%</TD></TR><TR><TD> Fiber:</TD><TD align=right>15 </TD><TD align=right>0 </TD><TD align=right>0%</TD></TR><TR><TD class=data_sheet_highlight>Protein:</TD><TD class=data_sheet_highlight align=right>101 </TD><TD class=data_sheet_highlight align=right>403 </TD><TD class=data_sheet_highlight align=right>26%</TD></TR><TR><TD class=data_sheet_highlight>Alcohol:</TD><TD class=data_sheet_highlight align=right>0 </TD><TD class=data_sheet_highlight align=right>0 </TD><TD class=data_sheet_highlight align=right>0%</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>

Hi Ladies!! I'm back from the deep...:peace: Well George michael Cancelled the concert on us!!! :noidea: WHAT A MEANER!!!!:drama: Technical difficulties...my arse..what a let down!! Still, I went out, got pissed and then came home & fell down the stairs, so I blame him for the MASSIVE bruise I now have on my arse! I'm dying to know how the fill changes things. I'm going for my first tomorrow. I feel I've no restriction and I miss that SO SO much!! Last week I drank 3 nights of the week...(yes Alcohol) will I ever learn? So as always with my hangover came MAJOR cravings and I have to admit I succumbed. I turned to the dreaded Crisps (potato chips) and had a nasty enough week. I gained a pound for my sins!! LOL I have yet to get off my ass and excercise. I'm hesitating because I don't want to struggle with "walking" I'm afraid it'll make me feel so unfit and like I've a mountain to climb. I always get pissed off when I'm huffing & puffing and I'm afraid it'll remind me how much work I have to do. But in saying all that I guess I don't have to go out pounding the pavements, if I started off strolling at least I might enjoy myself (?) I have associated walking & excercise with negative feelings about my body & my mind tends to go into negative mode as soon as I put my runners on! I immediatly start fretting in my mind and dreading every step!! But in order to break through this "plateau" I've been bouncing on for the last MONTH I guess excercise is yer only man!! God somebody help me!!! I'm hoping the fill will bring down my portion size again and help me enforce the rules better, I'm being a bold girl now because I can (if I'm to be honest here) and because I expected more from this band. I understand it is unfilled at the moment and that is the only thing that's keeping me from cracking up & feeling like I've wasted my money on a useless piece of plastic! LOL I did not get this surgery done to be plunged back into DIET mode..that's what drove me mad enough to go under the knife in the first place!! My goodness, I'm finished my rant now... Thanks for keeping in touch & sharing so far girls.. Good luck to us all. I'll report on my fill ASAP..xx<!-- google_ad_section_end --><!-- / message --><!-- sig --> __________________ P.s... I get the drift that Terri is having some difficulty... Hang in there girl...despite what you may berate yourself about, you look and are doing great. let me just tell you that in my brief & former life as a gym training and skinnier me I worked out HARD 5 days a week with a trainer, for 6 months solid. I only lost 6lbs on the scales but my inches lost were huge, my body fat went from 26% to 20% and I went down from a US size 10-12 to an 8..Remember the scales is not the best indicator when you're working out. It can be VERY deceiving. So I suggest to you that you get one of the trainers to take a body fat reading WITH A CALIPERS not on a scale...calipers is more accurate and you may find it more rewarding..xx Keep the chin up..xx <!-- google_ad_section_start(weight=ignore) -->:biggrin1:

I did survive the day---did ok, ate mostly meat. Now I know it had BBQ sauce which is high calorie, but for the options I had it was the best I could do!!! Ate some beans, drank tea, mostly enjoyed the company. Our friends we ride with, and hang out with at things such as this are back from vacation. We had DD and her crew with us, left them doing the Mom & Dad thing at the carnival...aka spending the big bucks!!! And Terry I had some brisket, it was great, but the pulled pork was wonderful!!! IT was the one I voted for. When our friends got here she swore I had lost more weight (I have NOT!) but she thought so, so she did an update on my pictures for me tonight, but I am so computer illiterate, I don't have a clue how to post them!!! If someone cares to help me, I'd appreciate it. I have a side by side a friend on my NJ board did for me of my before and my 50 lb loss, so now I have the 100 to put next to it. A front and a side view---man my side view especially is still pretty pathetic!!! And Becky insisted on a face shot, she says that is so dramatic...well someone was being dramatic anyway!!!! It is so unnerving, thinking of posting pictures for the world to see---you guys are fine...I feel safe here at LBT!!! Oh yeah, if I get one of you to help me, I also want to update my avatar pic. Please! I am going to learn to do these things some day!!! I come home and did my time on the elliptical---I about took a dive off of it, my knee went out! It has done that occasionally since I was a kid---had never done it on the trainer tho!!! Thank goodness I was working my arms and holding on! Jenn I have not been brave enough to wear anything that skimpy even in the yard. But I have a neighbor who is ALWAYS outside working and piddling around. Nice guy, one of the best functioning alcoholics I have ever known, but I do not want to be in a swimming suit and him be around!!! OMG Michelle---I too got knocked over by a wave when in Hawaii, I got so disoriented, I damn near freaked out!!! Finally my laughing DD grabbed my arm! Poor you!! Well if someone will come to my rescue over the pics I'd really appreciate it!!! Off to check my email I guess, then to bed...too much caffeinated tea tonight, I am wide awake!!! Kat

Hey everyone. This is so very exciting. I am getting so very anxious and excited and nervous. I am trying to lose another 15 lbs in 4 weeks because I'm going on vacation for easter and coming home and having surgery 2 days later. I called about scheduling my pre op appts this am and good thing, after I told them I was going to be out of town, they scheduled all my appts for the 10th of April. I'll be on the beach soaking up some sun. So I have final dates, my final approval, blessing from my pcp on the 20th, getting my gall bladder ultrasound done and meeting with the nutritionist on the 21st - and doing my anesthesia and final surgeon appt pre surgery on the 22nd. I am getting so excited I can't stand myself. I am not required to do a pre liquid diet, and wish i could but lets face reality, I am going to be in Myrtle Beach with my best friend and lots of people she works with and I'm sure I will be having several farewell dinners and or lots of farewell Drinks. I hate to admit it because I don't see a lot of people who seem to have issues with this.... but I love to drink... not alcoholic or anything but there is an outting planned for Margaritaville...and Margaritas are one of my favorites!!! I hope everyone is as excited as me!

Can't sleep, no alcohol for me last night. I went to the ENT yesterday for a very drippy nose at times. It is just clear, I don't have any other symptoms, but after a couple of months it was driving me crazy!! She said it was one of two things. Allergies, which would be the simplest and probably most expensive with allergy shots and stuff or a CSF leak!! She said that it happens to women between 35 and 55 and they don't know why! She said that if that is the case they just go up through the nose take a little cartiledge out and plug up the hole that is leaking the fluid!! She says it is no big deal! HELLO it is my nose leading up to my brain that we are dealing with! Plus the fact that we as women are dealing with enough BS that is associated with being a woman!!! I know I am ranting, and it really is no big deal either way, but I wanted a pill to make my drippy nose stop!!!! How come I get the weird stuff? Has anyone else heard of this? It is Aunt Flo time so I am probably (for sure) more sensitive than normal, but give me a break!!! I just wanted my nose to stop running!!!!!! Okay I am done, starting out the new year b#%^&%!! Jane

I went to a Christian school until I was in 5th grade.. I remember in 3rd grade (i've been overweight my whole life, and not just 10lbs!! I remember before they had trendy plus sizes, I use to wear mens clothes as a kid ) but.. I do remember when they talked about gluttony and I would ask my mom if I was going to hell for being fat. Also, I took a biology class in college a couple years ago, and the teacher was anti-smoking and anti-fat people. So I had 2 knocks against me. He liked to debate this stuff too, and I'm not a shy person so I called him out a lot of times. Luckily, I stilled passed lol! He would say smokers are fat.. smoking makes you lazy and fat. Well, I was fat since I was an infant, so hmmmmm. Anyway, he would blatently say, he would not befriend anyone who was a smoker or fat because he disagrees with their health choices. Sounds like a real winner huh? So I shot back, so since YOU drink alcohol at the bars, I wouldn't be your friend. Alcohol isn't a healthy choice. It was interesting, but it was weird during class when he's get off on a rant about fat people, and there's 3 of us in the class fidgeting.

WARNING....MAJOR LONG POST :faint: (But hey...I've been missing all weekend again!!!) Hello Again BRENNERS...wow that came around fast! Good luck to you...I hope everything goes well for you. Funny I got a head cold before I was up too & it made no difference. I have to admit here , SOMETIMES i feel a bit down about not being able to pig out!! Not eat normally just my binge days!! Why is that? I suppose I'm just getting use to not having it to depend on maybe? Apart from those fleeting moments I feel I'm doing well. I have lost 17 lbs so far since today (i will weigh once weekly on mondays) This is SO FABULOUS!!!! I hhaven't experienced weight loss in SOOO long...:clap2: :clap2: Thougts & musings.... The old me is hanging around in the background haunting me a little bit, I feel a bit anxious about unrealistic goals hanging around... ie I'm worrying that next Monday I'll be dissappointed with my weight loss... this has always been the case for me, I always wanted the weight gone NOW overnight & anytime in the past I would get to week 2-3 and the weight loss would slow down to 1-2-3 lbs in a week I would freak!! These are the demons I have to face now. I am reading an excellent book called THIN FOR LIFE... it's a few years old but it's all about successful maintainers & I'm finding it very helpful as it documents how weight loss 'masters' have kept their weight at bay & the struggles they finally had to overcome to do that. It profiles 'masters' that have lost their weight numerous times only to regain & have had to start over again. This is what happened me, this is why I got the band. The most helpful thing about this book is their stories & their strategies, and one thing they ALL have in common is that they all have a PLAN. they ALL gave up being unrealistically strict, perfectionism and made plans to include & make way for occasion including reasonable allowance treats. And THEY ALL LIVE IN MAINTENENCE MODE once the weight loss is over In otherwords they eat like skinny people do.....give & take. I always had selective observation when it came to the women around me who are in control of their weight. I was so jealous...I HATED them...BUT I chose only to observe them eating sweets or drinking alcohol or going out for an Indian. I chose to never aknowledge them when they took their coffee black or went walking or drank skim milk or counted points or had salad for lunch & a baked potato for dinner. WHY? Because I wanted to BELIEVE that they didn't watch their weight. I wanted to believe I was the unlucky one who had to count EVERYTHING... I wanted to believe there was a world where weight management didn't exsist & that I just happened to be from somewhere else! I WANTED IT TO BE UNFAIR...I Still do I had a friend down for the weekend & I made a lovely dinner for her & my DH, I sat with them & had my Soup & although the old me on my shoulder was there secretly salivating for the crostini I had made...everything was ok.. I even made dessert (a fruit one!) But my friend is slim & works at staying that way EVERY DAY... she has a PLAN... she sticks to it mon-fri and if she can she'll be good at weekends too but if something comes up she'll make room for it & she'll go out & eat & drink but when it's over she's BACK TO PLAN... I NEVER mastered that... I NEVER did moderation. I always set up rules that were unyielding, no allowances and so impossible to adhere to that when I would have the bottle of wine I had not planned on having, into the nachos & dip I would go...then I would proceed to nibble my way through a lapse and on to a relapse the next day by eating crisps (potato chips) Mcdonalds, Bread, fries, Ice cream and all the way to eventual & inevitable bingeing Collapse.. all the while being cheered on by my bold self... rebelling against this world of calorific responsibility. I got something out of my binges...there was a pay off... I searched & searched for this because I found it hard to believe this eating was benefitting me in some way... but it was.. here is my list of payoffs 1. I got to be spontaneous 2. I got to be irresponsible 3. I got to be 'like everyone else' who was ordering bannoffee ( selective observation at play here) 4. I got to moan about how unfair it was that I was fat 5. I got to be lazy & not have to do anything about it because I had failed before 6. I got to be poor me & I got sympathy for my 'struggle' I got recognition for my struggle On further realization being overweight was a result of positive intentions for me...I was benefiting from it. I just had placed too much importance on those benefits...to look at them on paper now seems pathetic.. they seem like such weak goals in life. But they were easier..and hey...I realised them!! I was successful I then made a list of the sacrifices I had made in order to reach & maintain these goals. I won't list all here but to give an example of these sacrifices, I'm sure you can relate 1. Self Esteem, Self Worth 2. Social life 3. Happiness This list is typical & also very personalised. It might be a good excercise for us to do, to journal who really is inside driving us & how we can get to know that person & help that person prioritise & really look at the goals in life. These lists are still being compiled... maybe I shoud start a thread so people can reflect on the reasons why keeping excessive food in our lives benefits us in some ways. Good luck to all who are getting ' done' this week.... As we come to the end of April MAY we finally begin to be our best:clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2:

Hi! all you SHRINK'N VIOLETS Anyway, I am halfway to doing what I set out to do today. I weighed in, and have lost 1 pound since last Monday. Better down than up. I worked out for 40 minutes and tried a yoga class, that i couldn't do because bending in the middle won't work for me two weeks post op. I ate one egg and 1/8 cup of cheese and had some coffee this am. Now I'm making a protein shake after two bottles of water. Hugs to all of you - I just know we can do this! About the alcohol, I think the crystal light idea Tracy had was a good one. Go gently!

Kity- Oh just to fill you in about SF candy. They're sweetened with a laxative!!!! That's the sugar alcohols, normally in the form of melatol (sp). But it says on the bag- causes a laxative effect. I did this once, ate a whole bag of SF gummi bears, and lived on the toilet for the night. I tested my limits since then, and found (I prefer the Russell Stover's Net Carb SF candies) and I can eat 2-4 pieces of the coconut mini bites before getting the laxative effect. Poor thing, but I have to say IMO you didn't miss much on AI. Bon Jovi week wasn't good to the ladies.

BRENNERS...hope you read this!! Congratulations on getting your band fitted...happy it worked out for you. Re the gas pains you are experiencing the same as me. I felt like I was having a heart attack & onky for LBT I would have been freaking out. I had actually stocked up on the GAS x strips on a recent trip to the US but girl...I may as well have been eating toothpaste. I didn't get my pains until 4 days in & I'm sorry to say they lasted a solid week. Getting less prolonged though as the week passed. I can recommend good oul ANDREWS liver salts and if you can get your hands on some liquid or effervecent painkillers too just keep dosing your self with them. I found relief by lying on my side, the side that hurt and that was the best thing. I didn't have any prob sleeping with it. But unlike yourself I sometimes found that eating (soup or shake) actually helped too. I also did the hot water bottle but that didn't really do much. I hope you read this & can at least take comfort that while you may have the pain & discomfort for a while it WILL go away. It's SOOO bad sometimes I found myself groaning out loud. Sitting in the same position as TRACYINKs pointed out is definatley not good for it. I also found bending to tie shoes or bending at all for that matter triggered it in the mornings!! I hope you get through it without loosing your mind a bit! Tracyinks I did the arms over my head thing too...I didn't care who saw me it was all I could do to not cry at times! P.S....check out my ticker!!!! I am 2.5lbs away from my first weight loss goal of 24 lbs... I'm so grateful! :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: I have bought myself a james avery bracelet & my first charm is a key of promise...that I promise myself to see this through. BTW...anyone got any advice on drinking alcohol? I had my first night out last night & drank Gin & cranberry juice (couldn't think of anything else not fizzy!) anyway I had 5 drinks in the course of 5 1/2 hours and I am still paranoid as to whether this will STRETCH the pouch?? Anyone? And can anyone suggest a mild alcoholic drink that is not fizzy & is low in calories.. the cranberry juice itself is worse than the gin I think. Gin is yuk anyway...I just realise that now LOL.. Oh and wine is my LOONEY JUICE so that WON'T be happening. I tend to fancy divorce when I get tanked on that. DH does NOT like to see me on the looney juice & neither do I. I prob sound like a total langer, but It's just that my circle is very social & drinking is something I also need to have a plan for. THANK YOU!!! (hic)

Hi Gurls!! I'm so sorry..another major post..I just can't help it..I think it's part of the healing proccess (verbal diarohea?) Laura...Congratulations on the house!! I remember you saying you hope to be in by July. We're building too and hope to be in if not July then August. I must take some photos too. It's sooo exciting. Where I live now we can hear EVERYTHING through the walls...And to all of us who are sexstarved let me tell you that my neighbours aren't up to much in that dept either!! LOL... KITY...is that tattling too? Seriously though, have you ever had a fight with DH where you whisper abuse coz the neighbours are home!!! KITY...about the M&M's...try to imagine they're actually made from rabbitt shit..in a crispy coated shell...LOL (I don't know what else to say) AND SPEAKING OF RABBITT's...SARA!!!! (Me too!!) Girls, let's try to perk up about our lives.. there's great sense of humour & so much support & honesty here but there's also a lot of fear & disbelief. Some of you fear your "old" selves are creeping back & that's a totally justified fear, it's your nightmare after all you've been through. I just want to be honest with those of you who need it and suggest that you actually don't believe you're gonna make it. Take a good honest stock of your core beliefs & selves and you will find a core belief that has convinced you you will always struggle with food & your weight. It really doesn't have to be like that. If you truly BELIEVE in your ability, the chocolate & ice cream may just stop calling your name...not always but it will stop haunting you. This is not any easy thing to change. here is just a very simple example. For a long long time I believed I was spoilt, because people use to tell me I was. So I carried on like a spoilt person. This was all subconsciously. Once I recognised that belief I took a different perspective on it & realised I was not spoilt I was Loved, very much. That had an enormous effect on my life, I began to feel loved instead because I had changed a core belief about my self. I became different in my attitudes too, becuase I had nothing to be ashamed about. If people were jealous of me, it was not that I was priveledged or above them, they just stuck to their one perspective. Maybe it was that they were lacking in something I so obviously was getting. It stopped becoming my problem that they were so bitter toward me. I still meet this type of person every day. One of my parents is famous here in Ireland and I've always had to deal with people having pre conceived notions about me. I've had my circle of true friends for a long time & yes I've been lucky in life but people sometimes can't handle that. They choose not to see your struggles but only what you have and they look for weakness in you to make themselves feel better. but I've never stood on anyone and I've never belittled anyone or rubbed anything in anyone's face..I'm a modest & sensitive person & couldn't understand all this bitterness towards me. Is it not amazing how all our lives can be so similiar in areas? You see here we can be more honest because in a sense we're anonymous and free from judgement. Whereas in our everyday lives we mask ALL this stuff and go around thinking we're the only ones who eat in the dark or cry at night or have no intimate relations at home. But The people you meet everyday are masking their problems too & we all portray an "image" of togetherness, satisfaction & security. Does it really exist though? Of course it does, but not as much around you as you think! Then you retreat & beat yourself up about it in the privacy of your own thoughts battling with emotions!! Its no wonder we're all so emotional & reaching for food / drugs / alcohol!!! We're TIRED of acting..that's hard work!! I'm gonna nominate myself for an oscar here...in the category of "best performance of person who doesn't get upset about what you, or anyone else thinks about me" that's my acting skill, utterly perfected. But of course I do get upset, because I'm caring and sensitive and I like to be nice and I like to be generous, and while those I "don't get upset about" are at home getting dressed to go out on saturday night where am I? At home collecting my reward of a box of pringles, 2 bowls of cereal, a couple of sandwiches, toast and whatever else I've harvested and SOOO not going out coz nothin fits!! Eh, no thanks...not anymore, I'll pass on the oscar thanks... What's your oscar category/ies?

Denise, I am so sorry you are going through such turmoil. I have dealt with alcohol issues with my ex husband, and with my brother, but never with a child---which would be the most difficult without question. Our son had a brief but scary as hell brush with meth---it put a wedge between he & his Dad, it was a really difficult time, I am so glad it is long behind us, and hope yours too will improve quickly and be nothing but a bad memory. (((((Big giant Hugs))))) to you--please know you can come here, or PM me anytime, I'll send you my home # ---that goes for any of you---if you just need to talk to someone not so closely involved. We do care about you and what you are trying to deal with. I am tired, picked black eyed peas....about 2 bushels full, and spent the next several hours shelling them, my MIL will can them tomorrow. I guess I will go out each day and try to get something done, they are frantic with the garden, he has 2 fields of hay cut, which got rained on tonight, so it will have to be turned to dry, before baling. They have cucumbers ready to pickle, green beans ready to pick & snap, and corn ready to cut, and deal with---lots to be done....right when the person responsible for them having such a huge garden...is gone! If you guys were close, I'd be dropping squash and tomatoes off on your porches!!! I guess I will make salsa, whether I really want to or not!!! Being in the garden with the corn tasseling has my allergies torn up---I am going to get a cool rag for my eyes, and go to bed. Will catch up with you guys in the morning! Night! Kat

Hey gang, I am back. Still hurtin from my last fill. I can't keep anything down but fluids. I think I am gonna stick with protein shakes tommorrow and try foods again the next day. I tried fish for dinner and it wouldn't go down, chicken for lunch, eggs for breakfast. None of it went down. My weight is though. If I can't get something down after monday I guess I'll have to get an unfill. I really don't want that to happen. I want to be able to use my band. Before my fill I was wide open now I am so tight. I am sleeping alot again. Don't know if it is from not eatting or if I am getting depressed again. Probably the latter. Just gotta get through this last week of school before I have a melt down. With this new level of tightness I find that I am feeling the same way I felt after surgery. I miss food. Now it is stronger cause I am losing sight of my goal. Back in my post op days I was high on the thought that I would be thin one day. So I was not bothered by my longing as much. I am just confusing myself so don't know if yall will even understand my ramblings. I am just a little down by my last checkup/ fill. Doc says I am a carboholic and just as an alcoholic can't allow themselves 1 drink I can't allow myself 1 carb loaded meal. I need to quit making justifications to eat carbs. I feel like a failure at this. My last 2 visits have been this way. I am losing the momentum I had and not making much progress lately. I did contact the therapist that works with my surgeon. Hopefully monday I will get a response.

Meredith...there are just times when it is impossible to weigh and measure EVERYTHING. It is a good habit to be into. Teaches us a lot about portion size, etc. Helps us to eventually eyeball what we are eating. I now just automatically know portions sizes by looking or know my limits as to what to eat by how my tummy feels. I had some of the same feelings you are having when I didn't weigh and measure. It's a good habit but so is choosing everything that is healthy at this stage of the game and it will teach you to make more healthy choices throughout your life. It will all come together for you. I think that as long as you don't overdo the dressing put on the salad, Protein and lettuce/veggies are a very healthy choice. At first I did not like filling up my new pouch with lettuce as there is not a lot of nutritional value in it. But I always craved it so much so I would just throw a handful on my plate with my meat/fish/etc. During the weightloss stage, I used Walden Farms zero cal dressings. I really like the taste of them but have heard others stating that they did not. I still have them on hand for DH and he really likes them also. Worth a try! On those occasions when you cannot weigh and measure, try to eye things up. It's actually a good way to learn to guesstimate what you are eating. You will know when you get to the stage when you trust yourself with the amounts you are eating. My pouch has always been good to me. I have never pb's, don't really know what it is to slime, and it tells me when I am full. I get hungry every 2-3 hours but I don't mind that. But you will find out, as all of us banders did, that there are days that your band is lose and you could eat your lips and your fingertips off and there will be days that your band is tight and you WISH you could feel hungry. It's all a learning process and that's what us experienced banders are here for. I relied on everyone here for many months. It's important to plan any Snacks that you have and also important not to let yourself get too hungry and have the urge to binge. Make sense????? Hey to the rest of the gang (man, that really sounds Gomer Pylish!). Had a VERY long day yesterday. Left home b/4 daylight and did not get my people home till after 10:30pm. Stayed up visiting until 1:30am. DH's butt will be dragging in the field today. Letting Aussies sleep in. They have been on an "around the world tour" for close to three months and are shot. We have made no plans and will leave it up to them what they want to do. I am sure DH will not take a break with the workaholism and I will be entertaining 24/7. Did insist guys come home for dinner (lunch) so at least DS has and hour today to get reaquainted with his big sis. It will all fall together and DH will just have to catch up with us when he feels he can pull himself away from the work. Cannot remember who mentioned about lifting and band getting tight. Linda????? I have noticed this from the very beginning. That, flying and stress. Now, I KNOW I don't get stressed when I fly so I know my band just tightens on me and have to be very vigilant of my eating days b/4 I fly so I get enough cals and do not lose weight the days after flying. I try not to lift much anymore as to not tighten up my band. Fickle, fickle, fickle band! Just as I explained above to Meredith. Laura......hope your dad is doing better. Anxious to hear. DH's mom has been on dialysis for over five years and functions quite well with it. Sad if your dad has to give up his pilots license but he will adjust if need be. Great..........(seems weird writing that) Smart not to buy a MOB dress now. I predict that you will weigh less a year from now. The body goes through so many transformations after a person gets to goal. You will be happy you waited. A couple of months ahead of time should be sufficient time to find one. Keep looking and trying on different styles. By the time you need to make the purchase, you will know exactly what you want and what looks good on you. I love separates due to the fact that I am long legged and short waisted. They just look better on me. Janet....sound like you had and "Apples" day on Sat. I tend to start a small project and it turns into an all day deal. Good example is the past week when I was getting ready for company. My house was basically already clean but when I started I didn't quit for three days and then started again on Sunday until I couldn't find anything else to do. I was cleaning, painting, hanging pictures, rehanging pictures, recleaning, etc. I swear I cause work for myself. And, as I mentioned the other day...I am way too picky about my house and am trying to make a stab at changing that. Would like to be a little more free and easy about that. Think it has to do with all the traffic we get through here and always having to have the house ready for extras just dropping in for a meal. Julie....hope you are feeling better each day. You have been through the wringer and it will take some time. When we are so used to taking care of others, it is difficult to accept help. Linda...I pray for your little grand daughter. I think of her often and think of what you are going through. Issues such as these are never easy and wear on a person. Take care. Doodle...what a good granny to be the "mom" while your daughter is away. Damn all brownies. Funny you guys mentioned them cuz my Aussie daughter talked about my "special" brownies most of the five hour drive home from the airport. She was begging me to make some and I kept just putting her off and saying not sure. Well, when we walked in the door I presented her with a pan all for herself. We stuck them in the freezer and she says she will have only one a day. She is a police officer and needs to fit into her uniform when she gets home. OK...know I left some of you out but not on purpose. Just a little brain dead this morning. 4 hours of sleep does not do it for me anymore and only 5 hours the night b/4. I am a believer in 8 good hours of sleep. Keeps life nice and mellow. Going to have to catch up this week. You all take care and will check in when I can. Think we will hit a casino a few hours south of here this week and stay over one night then off to the lake for a couple of days and a weekend full of parties. (I love a good party but, no, do not always have a drink. Maybe have one drink once a week on the weekend.). I have to be quite careful. 1/2 ounce vodka, crystal light and Water and I am a PARTY ANIMAL. Can't handle much. Never had much tolerance for alcohol b/4 banding. 2 drinks and I would slur so for 30 yrs of marraige I have been the D.D. Don't mind a bit and parties are all about the cooking, visiting, games, etc. My friends love me cuz on girls night out, they have a built in ride home. Gotta go plan dinner and supper. Need to make a blueberry dessert, making chicken strips on the grill, scalloped corn and homemade mac and cheese. Have no menu planned for supper yet. You all have a great day! :smile2:

Congrats Kathy - WTG You gave up sugar for lent - so no alcohol - it has sugar:lol: The eroded issue scares me - I know one lady here who had it happen like in 6 months.. Hope you have a good weekend too.. -------------------------------------------------------- I guess everyone else is having a hard time getting to LBT site... I have tried all night - (well got home around 6) but from 6 to 9:10 - I couldn't get here - been playing pathword on FB.. Now my eyes are dead... Well not much to report on - and as I said I guess no one else could get here today... I don't know what's up with that... Well, I am going to go watch some tv... Talk to you all in the morning

Hi gang! Joyce, Good on getting rid of the sling! Go ahead and whine about the snow. I almost feel guilty that it is 85 and sunny outside. Yeah, on the weight thing. 5 down- 1 up after the fried seafood dinner. I am not giving up. I am getting used to this eating plan. LInda, Awesome news on the MRI. I would imagine that neck pain is real bothersome when you type. I typed almost every day for 35 years. At one time I thought I had carpal tunnel. I went to Walmart and got braces for my hands and wore them at night. They worked. It was a good investment for me. Wow, you hit the Jackpot with the meat. Happy Cooking! Laura.....Safe Travels. I know you and Nels will put a smile on your dad's face. Prayers and HUGS! Cheri........enjoy your Spring break. We had ours last week. All the schools are finally on the same page and everyone was out. Still praying for your daughter. I just got back from my DGS's two year old B-day party. I won't even tell y'all what was on the menu. Not good. Thank goodness I ate boiled eggs before I left. I went grocery shopping for my mother. On my way to her house there was a man with a "I am Hungry" sign. I do not give money, but I did have some of my mother's Famous Amos Cookies. I gave him a snack bag.....he was grateful. I see these signs every time I go to Houston. I think I am going to keep a case of Water and Snacks in the car for these men. Yeah, I know most of them are drug addicts and alcoholics, but these are hard times for everyone. Don't worry, I only crack my window.....and No Money! Later peeps! Enjoy your weekend!

Morning............. hope everyone is up and being productive...unlike me.... just sitting here doing not much of anything.... like ordered..... Apples, I'm so glad you feel some better today... Do flowers bother you that much to start an attack? I guess I don't know much about vertigo.... thought it was more a balance things... I'm not good either... No help from the doctor on Friday and now I'm once again waiting for insurance approval for more tests and another shot.... The pain is spreading to the other shoulder, getting stronger, and coming at any and all times of the day.. Already had a medium sized attach this morning that I'm just coming down from.... Had one at 4 yesterday afternoon that about got me.... I don't drink, but I called my DD at 5:30 and asked her to bring me some sweet pop wine, like Strawberry Hill.. I remember drinking it from the bottle in college.. A friend and I killed it last night... I don't think it did a thing for me, but I was just completly crazed and thought it couldn't hurt... I know it says no alcohol with the pills, but I didn't figure a little wine would like kill me..... don't know if I'd care at the moment.... So, I need to try to do some paperwork today.. Did some during the night, then went to sleep about 5:00 and woke up the hard way... Maybe the rest of the day will be better ...... hope so.... Everyone have a safe day.... Hugs to all... Julie

Phyll, got a contact high from mj once. Newly married at 19, went to a Joan Baez concert. Very smokey. Don't remember much of the concert. Just wanted to sleep. My husband told me later that all the smoke was mj. Never understood the attraction. I'm enough of a space cadet without the addition of drugs and alcohol. Cheri

Arlene - You are doing fantastic - I think I had lost like 52 lbs by Xmas last year... and we were both banded in July so please please don't sweat it - It will come off !!! Yes Admitting to the problem is the hardest part and the beginning of changing it... I have alot of addiction problems in my family - and ex-bf's so I understand (well as much as you can understand) addictions - I have done alot of reading etc on the subject and for us you just replace the word drug with food - it is truly our drug of choice and that's what it is a drug, IMHO a druggie or alcoholic has it easier than us - they just say no to booze or drugs - where we have to have food to live - so every day we are tempted to indulge in our drug of choice.. You go girl - You are Woman- You are Strong and YOU WILL GET TO GOAL :huh2: Ok Lori - You are making sense I understand - and I am happy that you miss understood her post - cuz you were worrying me that you kept your band very tight and that's what you were relying on to lose the weight and not changing what you are eating or how you looked at food.. Ok I feel better - and yes there was a lady at my docs office who didn't get a fill for like 8 months - You are right we are so very diff and the #'s to get us to our sweet spot are all over the boards. Yep I had 3 fills and almost all of the 3rd fill removed except for .01 - so really I had 2 fills and one tweak - I think I have 5 in a 14 - but wouldn't swear to it... oh ya Kathy - I would be pissed at your doctor - did you tell him about the steak... Yes you might not be making the best choices - but it's also about restriction and I really beleive that from our conversation you are in need of a fill - and yes making better choices. I was lucky cuz I was at home for the most part of that 1st yr - didn't travel much and I eat at home 99% of the time. I know that when I am at a restrauant that I want and usually do order with my old brain - but again I always do have left overs - but the problem is a chees enchillada isn't the most healthiest choice of dinner :0)

Apples, my niece is having a stint put in tomorrow. She will have her stone crushed when they can get her scheduled. That machine must really be booked. I think she said may be two weeks before she can get it busted up Synd.....I wasn't into having a dog until the kids were gone. My pup is like my kid except he loves me unconditionally. He loves walking with me in the morning. That is really why I got a dog......so I would get out and exercise. Joyce.......thanks for the props. I haven't been too good since Vegas. I act like I am on a food vacation. It is weird. Maybe it is because I am not going to weight management on Wednesdays. I am working on it. Lori, it was not easy baking. I am really glad it is over. It is like being a alcoholic and a bartender at the same time. Enjoy your nuggets. You know while you were gone I bought nuggets and they had sand or dirt in them. My teeth still feel gritty. YUCK! I won't be eating nuggets from McD's for quite awhile. Are you going to the McDonald's across from Waikiki? We stayed at the Hilton a couple of blocks from there. I wish I could fly to Hawaii at least every six months. Enjoy!! LauraK, I would eventually like to take yoga. You should have seen Janet and Joyce doing their yoga moves. They are quite limber. Okay peeps.......going to my mother's tomorrow. My DH bought her a new cell phone with voice recognition and larger numbers because of her low vision. I am taking DD with me because she will have to be my techie and program the phone. I know I could do it, but why?.....I have all these people that can do it so much faster.

JANET, I am here.....just nothing to report. I am going to get a fill on Monday. My DH is going with me.....he is having a consult with Dr. Davis for WLS. I think I am ready for this fill. I have been working on my bites and chewing. Also, when I feel the least bit stuck I put down my fork and stop eating. My weight has not moved. I know I am eating too much, but I am staying away from bad stuff. Christmas baking was like an alcoholic pouring liquor for guests all day long. I WILL NOT bake next year. I have already told my family that I cannot take that risk again.

Wow! Great stories! This is exactly what we need to keep ourselves on track. Having gone to Alanon for many years and attended open AA meetings to hear special speakers and having hung out with a lot of recovering Alcoholics, a lot of their phrases stick in my head. When someone relapses they'll say, "It takes what it takes. There but for the grace of God go I." "They're not ready yet." "They haven't gotten sick and tired of being sick and tired." Many of them refer to themselves or others as "rehab rangers" because they relapsed and went to rehab so many times. A hospital in Dyer, IN had an emergency short-term rehab known as the "Dyer dryer" mostly for falling down drunks. Some of the recovering alcoholics I'd met had been there several times. Over and over again, every alcoholic who spoke was willing to tell his/her story in jaw-dropping detail and honesty. Helping other alcoholics recover was the key to their own recovery. Honesty about one's past and present is stressed to the max. That's got to be part of our recovery, too. We have an addiction. It brought us places we never wanted to go. We didn't grow up thinking, "I want to be a morbidly obese food addict when I grow up." We are horrified to find ourselves there. And we can never forget. To do that we need to share our stories in all their embarrassing details. How about having trouble wiping your butt or getting all your parts clean? Wondering what that smell is and realizing its you? Trying to clip your toenails with your stomach hanging between your wide spread knees? This is a serious life-threatening-shortening illness. Embarassing. Gross. Ugly. We think we only affect ourselves, but what about the children we robbed of quality time with us? The $ we spent on food that could have been spent improving the lives of our families and beyond? The employer's and insurance companies and the government (the American people) we ripped off with our inability to do our jobs to the best of our abilities and the ailments whose cost got absorbed by our families and the rest of society? Take your bands seriously. Treat them right. Take your disease seriously. Are you ready to do whatever it takes to be "clean and sober?" Cheri

Julie...so sorry for what you have to go through. Drinking wine might just be what you need. My Grandfather had a couple glasses b/4 every meal and swore it kept him young. But, I am no expert on wine. You would need to ask our resident expert, Phyll! LOL Janet....there are meds that can be taken for vertigo (for dizziness). They put me out and make me feel crappy. Like I stated yesterday....it just runs it's course after a few days and continually gets better. I don't think mine starts in the inner ear. I believe it starts in the sinus' and affects the inner ear once sinus swells. That first day is miserable and after that just off-balance. I just have never been a medicine taker. Not even when I have my kidney stones. Just do not like the affect it has on me. I think my system is overly affected by meds and always has been...kind of like alcohol. Doesn't take much to make me loopy. Not always...but most times. But, does not deter me from having a weak one once in awhile.

Hi peeps! Whew! I had four g-kids today 6,2, 18mos, and almost 3 mos. I did something in my lower abdomen when I got up with the little one. I just hope it is a catch. It is right where I had my last surgery four years ago. Hopefully it is just scar tissue. Anyway, we had a good time with the kids. Then my DS came over and finally picked up the rest of his clothes. He still did not get the deer head. UGH! I guess this girl is a keeper. Being a major in the Air Force she is keeping my DS in line. He is crazy about her. I know they are talking marriage. LauraK.....yep it was a good day with the kids. Three in diapers made for a poopie day too! lol Nope, didn't get the decorating done. My granddaughter that helps was a no show......she is coming tomorrow to get the stuff out of the attic. I can do it now, but why take the chance of pulling something when a 16yr old has offered. Cheri, thanks for sharing about your family. It is interesting to watch how those characteristics run throughout the family. We have lot of ADD in the family. From you talking about it I have been able to notice those symptoms in my ADD kid and now in one of my grand. I even see it in me. No one in my family ever sought help for alcoholism. They just got old and quit drinking. Joyce, the weather is pretty now so your DD will be able to enjoy a little of it before it gets nasty in a couple of days. Water aerobics is the only thing that does not hurt my back. I love it. You are so limber. It won't take long till you have a trainer. I even forgot you had a knee replacement because in Vegas you never favored your knee. Melissa, Zumba sounds fun, but I would have to borrow it before buying. I have so much exercise crap I have never used. Glad you found something to make you sweat. lol Okay gang, I am going to go soak in the tub then watch a little TV.