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Perhaps just come out and ask " why do you feel the need to say hurtful things, and if you don't, perhaps consider how others might take it. You may be joking, but it still hurts." How else will Granny know she's hurting you? I used to be like you and always thinking others are laughing at me, or talking about my weight etc., but I've just gotten to where I don't care. I told my children when people say bad things about you: 1. Do these people matter to you? if not, then their comments don't matter either. If they do, talk to them because they DO matter to you and they should know they're hurting you with their careless words. If they matter to you then you and they deserve the benefit of talking about it or 2. People say bad things about others because they don't feel good about themselves. So they belittle others to feel better about themselves, they're just sad small people not worth your time or thoughts. Just the fact they do it makes it not worth your time! Your family and YOU deserve the time to talk about what bothers you, how else will they know, grow and learn?

i've been buying creams, lotions, botox, masks, fillers, microneedling, morpheous8, light therapy, RF treatments for the past 4-5 years. i apply moisturizers and sunscreen and masks like its going out of style. honestly, i probably could have had 2 face lifts with the amount of money i've dished out so far. nothing stops the effects of aging (nor weight loss) permanently, and few things effectively pause it. surgical face lifts are the most effective (and longest lasting) defence against aging, sagging, wrinkling skin. i'm seriously contemplating getting one, but i scar horribly so im hesitant. long story short, creams and moisturizers will do little for damage already done, but can assist in keeping future damage at bay. microneedling, morpheous8, light therapy *may* work, but you require several sessions to determine if it will even work for you. botox and fillers have immediate effect, but don't last long and require ongoing treatments to keep up. face lifts are expensive (and surgical!) but will probably make you look 10-15 years younger for about 10-15 years...but then you'll need another one for touchup or upkeep. ....or we can embrace our aging faces (something i personally would love to do, but honestly am not ready to do yet hahahhahaha) ❤️

Yeah, not buying it. The medical community looks for what it wants to see. I married a statistician. They constantly remind me "Correlation does not equal causation!!" The medical community wants to believe that more physical activity will miraculously solve obesity issues because it puts the cause and the remedy right back in our laps, instead of admitting that this is a disease that is very complex and no one smoking gun is the cause or the cure. We need holistic approaches. I was a very active child. So were my siblings. My brother is a normal weight, my sister is often underweight, and I ended up over 300 lbs. My parents are normal weight though they both have siblings with weight issues. I gained a ton of weight while I was still active. Puberty hit and it was like someone switched on a helium tank and I just ballooned up. I've had more doctors than I care to count tell me that if I just got more physical activity and stopped eating McDonalds all would be well, ignoring the fact that I hate McDonalds and until my autoimmune disease got severe I was quite physically active. I know a lot of thin people who are couch potatoes. I know a lot of fat people who are active. These "studies" do nothing but continue to give doctors more ammunition in the shame game that is current obesity management. My partner is Chinese, was raised on traditional Cantonese food (which is very healthy in general), in a family where everyone is effortlessly thin except their grandmother who was diabetic... Several years ago my partner was diagnosed with diabetes. They've had weight issues all their life, despite being very active for most of it. Is it genetics? Perhaps. Is it current lifestyle? It probably contributed to it. Was it due to a childhood diet based on rice? Not likely, that diet also incorporated a ton of healthy protein options and a healthy variety of vegetables, including plenty of greens. A lack of exercise was certainly not the cause of it and increasing exercise is not going to be the cure for it either...

You look amazing @ZeeGee!! And you look STRONG! @brandycsiz You are not the only one. LOL I went on vacation for 4 days for my birthday and managed to gain 6 lbs! Logically I know that I didn't gain 6 lbs of fat, it is mostly water, but it still panicked me and made me feel like my progress was stunted for the month... Part of it is my fault though. I was eating out for every meal so that means more sodium and more carbs. I wasn't hydrating well. I didn't hit my protein goals. And the bed was awful so I wasn't sleeping well. Life happens! I took yesterday to feel depressed about it and panicked over breaking my surgery. LOL Then this morning I got up, made a protein shake, and had lots of protein for lunch (baked chicken thighs and green beans). I made a tall glass of sour watermelon flavored water and am plotting dinner. Carbs are under control. I slept in today to help offset my sleep debt. And tomorrow when the weather clears up I'll be back walking... The issue is not that we get off track sometimes. The issue is that in getting off track we lose hope, start to get down on ourselves, and want to eat a whole cake. 😂 But if you know better, you can do better. So gently but firmly course correct in the ways that you can each day. Make steady improvements back towards your goal. And see these acts as self care rather than harsh discipline. In this, as is with most things in life, our journey is much more important than our destination. Journey well my friends. We can do this!! 😍

Thank you NickelChip for these ideas. I'm also having trouble. I asked my surgeon if my sugar addiction was going to be a problem after surgery and he said "no". Since I had the sleeve, I don't get dumping syndrome when I eat sugary things. I start over every morning, every afternoon, and every evening - lol. Because of back pain, I hadn't been able to walk very often, but I've been trying to get around the neighborhood a 1-2 times a day on the days I work from home. I want to get serious with weight loss so that my pain will lessen. I know sugar is an inflammatory agent - but, sugar addiction is real. brandycsiz we can do it!

Not sure how old you are or how much weight you've lost, Angela. It could be either way some creams or that red light therapy mask thingy could help tighten up the face or as with other parts of the body, the skin stretched out from being overweight and won't simply snap back which may require some cosmetic procedures. I am 42 and have been blessed with some decent genetics - ie not many women in our family have many wrinkles - but good genes cannot outrun the excess skin in my waddly neck area. It's not super awful - but something I can see getting done down the line (after a tummy tuck, boob lift and brachioplasty I all want to have at some point). I find myself doing the slight skin pull below my ears in the mirror and it would make a world of difference

It gets better. I dealt with most everything you mentioned during my first year after WLS. Some more than others. Still deal with occasional nausea and unstable appetite. Persistent pain should be checked out though. Before WLS, I ran across DR V. He doesn't sugarcoat anything and drops the F bomb a lot which made me chuckle. But... he made perfect sense to me, and his truth directed me towards having the surgery despite his warnings and statistics. Watching it again he mentions using baby spoons so I'm pretty sure that's where I picked up my name here. LOL Pitfall #2 is my favorite. Not embracing the honeymoon phase which coincides with Pitfall #5- Believing I will never be hungry again. #6- "It's not gone forever...it's gone for now." (hunger/weight) I'll just leave this here... GL and hope you start feeling better soon. {{hugs}}

Yeah I haven't looked in to the plastics side of things as to what is covered for me. I do recall it being mentioned at one point by the psychiatrist I had to go see and I think he said it had to be a few years and then a decision process but at this stage it is too soon to be thinking about that. My big (literally and figuratively) problem area is my legs, thighs in particular. Even after loosing so much weight, with a bit more to go, there is no way I would wear anything that would show anything above my ankles. As it is I have to go back into hospital next week for a few days to have the tube in my stomach removed and them to monitor me to see if my leak has fully closed.

hi dear! thank you so much<3 im not in my 60's hehe i meant my weight range but i will start bathing in moisturizer so when i reach the age of 60 my skin actually does look like this. my stomach is usually the first place i gain weight so i can thats my issue here. i'll try focusing on some ab workouts hoping that can save it. thank you again ❤️

Thanks @LisaCaryl @NickelChip @RonHall908 For your support yesterday ... t'was a very angry day for me because it bought up a lot of the disregard I've had to deal with these last few years because of my weight! Today is a better day. I'm just off to meet my physio ... who will no doubt make me do squats but who also emailed last night that he'd found a list of fat friendly doctors in my area for me ... Also I'm a metric girl... and I've hit below 80kg - I'm 79.6kg this morning (175.1lbs) ... and breaking that 80's barrier hasn't happened for me since 2021 so I'm very encouraged this morning. also I took liquid iron the parmacist reccomended no problem at all... and she mentionned my visible weightloss in a very chic, discreet and also commercially savy way ... bascially asked me if I wanted to get myself a new lip gloss or shampoo at the pharmacy too... I asked her why and she said with a smile "to congratulate yourself on these little changes you seem to be making" . She won, I got an expensive pharmacy face cream... 🙂 Do you folks have very dry skin? Mine is really not great at all... especially my legs.

I think the OP means into the 60kg range (basically under 150lbs!) not in their 60's age wise!!! But I agree the weight loss is phenomenal and inspiring! well done @Megan Black

@brandycsiz - I think its pretty common. I've deifinitely gone off track, mostly due to other health issues and stress outside of the surgery itself. I was able to walk several miles without stopping in December, then after getting Covid (and I'm assuming long-Covid now), if I go more than 3 miles in a day or try lifting weights in the gym, I get physically ill for 2-3 days afterwards. I keep walking 1-2 miles in the evenings after work, but the lack of progress and regain of weight is very discouraging. I tended to stress eat before, and to be honest, the surgery was a success because at least it limits the amount I tend to binge on when having a bad time. I still have those cravings, but at least now I can drink 8-12oz of water and delay eating. I'm probably on track with my diet 3-4 days per week, but have been overdoing it or eating too many calorie/carb-dense foods when I have an off day or when I see family, who aren't the most supportive. My mom likes to drop off Little Debbie cakes and other snacks on my porch twice a week as she's driving by, and it's straining our relationship because I throw them away immediately, and she sees that as me being ungrateful and disrespectful. I am 6lbs heavier than I was around 8 weeks post-op, so its really getting me down. After covid, I developed some issues with my heart rate. It drops down in the upper 20's to low 30s in my sleep and my blood pressure drops too low, but if it get it past 100bpm, my blood pressure spikes, and I get dizzy and almost faint. I'm trying to get in to see specialists, but I can't get in with a specialist for 5+ months just for initial consult. I have to drive 3+ hours to another area to try to get in sooner, but I burned all my leave time for the year with Covid in January, so I can't take the days off to travel.

First of all congratulations on your loss. Everyone says that the first place you gain weight is the last place you will lose it when it comes back off. Do you remember being around this size before and gaining in your belly? I know that I first noticed it in my belly and face. Ab exercises may help because I noticed that my ab muscles are practically non existent and I think it’s due to not sitting up tall since I’ve put on the weight. Standing and sitting up tall and holding my belly in makes a huge difference in how my body appears.

@BlueParis thank you ring your story. I am appalled at your doctor's words and actions. I'm so glad you are going to find another one. I can understand society and its obsession with being thin. I do not understand in the way that I agree with it, but in the way that I see it here, too, especially in some states like California, where I grew up. It's hard enough to be carrying around extra weight and feeling the shame we put on ourselves. We don't need others shaming us too. I'm just so sorry you have to deal with this crap. Take care of yourself, and keep venting here!

If you feel like therapy can help you consider finding one that takes your insurance or even payment plans. I didn’t do it the first time around because I couldn’t find anyone taking new patients and I gained my weight back. Now I am facing revision and working on starting with one that is private pay but I asked if she can give a lot of homework so I hopefully won’t need as many sessions. You don’t necessarily have to do like every week I don’t think. I haven’t met with her yet but I’m hoping I can do like once or twice a month to start and do my homework in between. I have a regular therapist and she wants to speak with her so my hopes are she will basically tell my regular therapist how to help me and I won’t need her too long. I will be posting about how it goes I’m sure. Lol

This is a hard one because on the one hand, it's fairly easy to advise how to change your diet and lifestyle. Here are some basic things to try: drink at least 64oz water per day remove all processed foods and sweets from your house and diet and replace with fresh fruit and nuts/seeds (this includes artificial sweetener and protein shakes if you're past 3-6 months post-op) make sure you hit your protein goal (probably 80g) with high-quality lean protein every meal, every day (meat, chicken, fish, eggs, cheese, beans) decrease or eliminate your grains/starches and always opt for whole grain when you do have it eat only at mealtimes increase your vegetable consumption increase physical activity (for example, get 10k steps per day) keep a journal that includes both a food journal and an emotions journal, and use this to see if you can find patterns or triggers in your behavior The motivation is a whole other issue. None of these changes are likely to stick if you don't have the motivation and mindset you need to do it. Personally, I found a lot of information and motivation from reading Dr. Matthew Weiner's books, A Pound of Cure, and also the one that explains how weight loss surgery really works. I also get a lot of inspiration from watching YouTube vloggers and podcasts. Here are a few of my favorites: https://www.youtube.com/@LouisesJourneyxo https://www.youtube.com/@apoundofcure https://www.youtube.com/@nicoleislosingit https://www.youtube.com/@kakisrnyjourney5376 https://www.youtube.com/@thistothatlife Finally, if you can, get friends and family involved in supporting you by checking in on your progress, going for walks with you, maybe cooking meals together. And post here for support!

I really appreciate you including this part because, as I was reading your story, my first question was "I wonder how you say 'Go f**k yourself' in French..." For what it's worth, a friend who has put on some weight in recent years, teetering at a 30 BMI, (menopause, a breakup, long-distance move), started with a new primary care doctor a while back who told her whenever she had the urge to eat a cookie, just reach for a cucumber slice instead. She also only ordered blood sugar tests when my friend's main medical issue is thyroid related. Totally useless doctor! She's finally gotten in with a new one who isn't fat phobic (I know this because she's now going to be seeing my doctor). You have to have medical professionals who know how to give appropriate care, and yours really missed the mark. I'm so sorry she was so terrible. And given your other medical issues, I can definitely understand why you chose to do VSG even with a lower BMI. I hope getting back to a more typical-for-you weight helps ease your symptoms. Joint pain at a higher weight is no joke.

first congrats on the weight loss! second: for someone going into their 60's your skin is phenomenal!! do you like bathe in tubs filled with moisturizer?? never go out in the sun??? amazing 😳 third: unfortunately you cant target weight loss to a specific part of ur body without losing in other areas as well. generally the first place you notice weight gain is the last place place it will come off. unless you have an underlying condition (which you can be found out by visiting ur doc), bigger midsections are usually the result of 3 main things: (1) genetics...do ur parents have higher-proportion midsection circumstances? (2) bloating...from ones diet that causes fluid retention and gas...cut the carbs! (3) inactivity... visceral fat lives on inactivity, and guess where visceral fat likes to hang out? around ur internal organs which are located in your midsection.

Hello @ihoneyyou, You are doing so well. I think you look great too. Have you had children ? I ask because you may need a muscle repair to rectify your tummy shape. It may not be all weight loss related

my stomach was the last place I seemed to lose my weight (probably because I carried most of my fat there before surgery). You may end up losing more in your stomach with those last few kilos. I think you look great, though!! (and you've definitely lost weight in your stomach!!)

Hi everyone, I had Laparoscopic Sleeve Gastrectomy in September 2023. my starting weight (on the day of surgery) was 102 KG and today march 27th 2024 I am 70.6 KG so I've lost a total of 31.4 KG. My height is 165 cm. so I believe I'm almost close to my weight goal. I want to lose maybe 8-10 more kilos and I think that's good enough for me. I took photos of my body on November and yesterday I took photos as well to compare both. however what I'm noticing is that although weight number has gone down, I do see difference in shape of my body (legs, arms, face, back) but I have an issue with my stomach. it has gotten better and smaller, however for someone almost going into 60's I don't think my belly should be looking this big. Do you guys recommend anything to do or try or should I see a doctor about this? please help! I don't want to struggle with reaching my goal weight and having a big stomach still.

Hi everyone, I had Laparoscopic Sleeve Gastrectomy in September 2023. my starting weight (on the day of surgery) was 102 KG and today march 27th 2024 I am 70.6 KG so I've lost a total of 31.4 KG. My height is 165 cm. so I believe I'm almost close to my weight goal. I want to lose maybe 8-10 more kilos and I think that's good enough for me. I took photos of my body on November and yesterday I took photos as well to compare both. however what I'm noticing is that although weight number has gone down, I do see difference in shape of my body (legs, arms, face, back) but I have an issue with my stomach. it has gotten better and smaller, however for someone almost going into 60's I don't think my belly should be looking this big. Do you guys recommend anything to do or try or should I see a doctor about this? please help! I don't want to struggle with reaching my goal weight and having a big stomach still.

Hi everyone, I had Laparoscopic Sleeve Gastrectomy in September 2023. my starting weight (on the day of surgery) was 102 KG and today march 27th 2024 I am 70.6 KG so I've lost a total of 31.4 KG. My height is 165 cm. so I believe I'm almost close to my weight goal. I want to lose maybe 8-10 more kilos and I think that's good enough for me. I took photos of my body on November and yesterday I took photos as well to compare both. however what I'm noticing is that although weight number has gone down, I do see difference in shape of my body (legs, arms, face, back) but I have an issue with my stomach. it has gotten better and smaller, however for someone almost going into 60's I don't think my belly should be looking this big. Do you guys recommend anything to do or try or should I see a doctor about this? please help! I don't want to struggle with reaching my goal weight and having a big stomach still.

Long rant ahead sorry ... So, I'm slightly angry (understatement). I saw my french primary care doctor yesterday. She's never been great to be honest. I've been seeing her for 6ish years. 5 years ago I gained over 80lbs pounds in a year and a half going from 118lbs (that had been my standard adult weight since my teenage years with a BMI of 19) to 200lbs ( BMI 32.3) after taking antidepressants. I stopped the antidepressants after a year because the weight gain was making me more miserable than I was being slightly depressed and thin. I have been struggling to loose the weight since... loosing and regaining the same 15-20 lbs again and again. As I've mentioned before, I have slight cérébral palsy - nothing too bad but enough to make walking pretty painful on my legs when I hit over about 130lbs and to make me generally clumbsy - I also lack gross motor coordination and don't have the best fine motor skills either... I can't really do any sports that require coordination and can only really ride a bicycle in a flat straight line and it takes a lot of mental effort for me to keep my balance, crowds freak me out because I'm scared of tripping and falling and don't even mention jumpy little dogs, my nemisis as my balance is so precarious. However I've always made do and It's never stopped me having an enjoyable fufilling life and a pretty decent career. My weight gain really really made me suffer, emotionally of course, my self esteem, my self worth etc ( I live in Paris which is the thinnist city in a thin country ... and it's not a place where people are kind to overweight people at all - I checked and the mean BMI of a Parisienne woman is 22.3 - so when you hit a BMI of 30 here you're really a fat outlier and are basically scorned in all public spaces ). It also made me physically miserable and I lost the little flexibilty I had - constant pain when walking - loss of gross motor skills, trouble showering standing up at 30 years old, not being able to put my socks on etc etc. For the last 4 years I have been to my Primary care doctor about 5 times asking for a referal to a nutritionist - she's always refused as told me "but it's simple, you just need to eat less and move more, it's not magic, No need to waste money on a nutritionist if you have no willpower "No **** sherlock! She has no idea the willpower it takes to get out of bed at 200lbs with cerebral palsy when you feel like your legs are litterally going to snap, when your feet are burning with weight stress induced neuropathic pain. In January I finally cracked after a lot of introspection and thought and booked my VSG for February in Turkey. I've now lost 35lbs since my preop diet so in just under 2 months. I already feel a lot better, the pain when I'm walking is lessening, I'm fitting back into the "second round" of fat clothes I got myself. So I walked into her office yesterday ( I had the intention of "fessing up" to having had a VSG and asking her for iron supplement ideas as I'm still being sick when I try and take iron ) She took one look at me and said "ah, you've finally found your willpower, loose another 20kg (40 pounds) and you'll be an attractive young woman again" I had a surge of red rage inside me, I kept my calm, but didn't tell her about the surgery, I just smiled and told her I needed a refferal to a dermatologist for a mole on my face and left. I'm never going back to see her again. I spoke to my physical therapist on the phone this morning and he sort of helped he said "can I be unprofessional ? Honestly, qu'elle aille se faire foutre, (she can go f*ck herself)" Lets find you another doctor." My physical therapist knew about the surgery, as did my orthopedic surgeon and booth agreed that with my CP anything is better than being even slighty overweight and that the surgury was worth the risk as they've both seen me loose my mobilité over the last few years and has seen how its affected me. They said that if I could afford to go private abroad I should because If not I'd have to jump through hoops for years in france because my BMI (32) wouldn't have been considered high enough as a stand alone. So yeah... this weekend I find myself another doctor who's not a fatphobic arsehole and has a minimum of human compassion. And for the iron I'm just going to go and ask directly at the pharmacy what the have to propose. Sorry that was long but I just had to get it out, I'm slowly realising all the **** I've put up with because of my weight these last years and I am ANNNNGRYYYY!!!! Hope everyone is having an okay hump day!