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I so understand and relate to all you said. I am so excited for you! I can't wait until I can have those same NSV's!!

Hello, I hope everyone here is doing well on their weight loss journey! I'm posting this because I've been having some serious mental health difficulties after surgery and I don't know what to do. I just need to reach out to other people here who understand the struggles of bariatric surgery and who would be so kind as to offer any words of advice or support. I had VSG surgery 9 months ago on Sept. 19th, 2016. I started at 285 pounds before Opti and I'm at 180lbs right now, putting me at a total loss of 105 pounds so far. At my ultimate highest weight I was 310lbs. My ultimate goal weight after surgery is 150lbs (I'm 5' 7") and I'm trying SO hard to try and make it there. A little too hard in fact. I was actually diagnosed with an eating disorder by my psychologist at my last follow up and my NUT is concerned with my eating habits. I've been dealing with a lot of bodily dysmorphia, which I know is definitely normal for bariatric patients due to loose skin or just in the process of getting your mind to catch up with recognizing the physical changes in yourself that everyone else sees. But I'm so unhappy with my body still. I know I've lost a lot of weight, but I still feel so huge and ugly and fat, and I'm so distracted with the way my body looks and with the fact that I still don't feel thin enough. Because of that I've been restricting my meals a lot in an effort to try and lose the rest of the weight faster, thinking it'll make me feel better. I've been skipping meals sometimes, going hours without eating, weighing myself multiple times a day on 3 different scales I have at home, and I've been restricting my calorie and carb intake as much as I can. I know it's unhealthy and a sign of disordered behavior, but I just can't seem to stop doing it, no matter how much I recognize that it's a problem. I track everything I eat on myfitnesspal everyday and I weigh my food using 2 different food scales, and sometimes several times. I'll log say, 15 grams of cheese on myfitnesspal, but only weight 11 grams of it to make sure I'm always eating at a deficit and that I don't accidentally eat too many calories. I've set my calorie goal in myfitnesspal for 900 a day but I never hit it. I have a mental barrier in my mind at 800 calories and most days I feel good when I eat around 700-750. I feel really proud of myself on days I eat closer to 500-600 calories, actually. Other things I'll do, is when I use a spoon to scoop and weigh my Greek yogurt from a carton into a bowl, for example, instead of just using the same spoon to eat my bowl of yogurt I feel obliged to aggressively wash it or just get a new spoon because I don't want to eat any extra calories from the yogurt residue on the spoon. If I don't do that sometimes I'll just lick the spoon and then spit it out whatever was on it into the sink. It's messed up... I know I know this behavior is really unhealthy, but I can't seem to get over this huge fear I have of food now. I'm honestly so terrified of food. Especially carbs. I had my original limit on myfitnesspal set at 20 net carbs a day, but I'll adjust my daily macros by eating 5 grams less here and there to round it out to 15-16 net carbs a day, because I'm so scared of 'hidden carbs' I may be eating accidentally. As I type this I have a plate of chicken breast that I weighed and logged in myfitnesspal already just sitting beside me because I'm too scared to eat it and I want to cry. I read all about patients who regained everything after surgery and I'm so scared that'll happen to me. A little voice in my head keeps telling me "if you don't weigh out this lettuce at a slight gram deficit from what you've logged, or if you eat 19 net carbs today when you really should be eating around 15 to make up for any hidden carbs, then you'll just go right back to being 300+ pounds again and miserable with your life If you can't control yourself now, then you won't ever be able to control yourself again and there's nothing stopping you from regained all your weight back". And that's the thing... while in general I'm dissatisfied with the rate at which I'm losing (I can't help but feel extremely jealous of those people who reach their goal weight at 6 or 8 months postop), and while I hate the fact that my stomach hasn't flattened out yet and I still have a belly that prevents me from wearing the clothes I want, and while I hate the fact that my body feels so disproportionate now, and while I hate the fact that I still have 30 pounds to lose and even if do I reach my goal weight it won't feel like enough......I know I'm MUCH happier after having had the surgery. I like the person I've become, how my personality has changed in subtle ways, and how losing weight has allowed me to be the person who I truly want to be. I always felt that with being fat, you don't get to be the person who you want to be or who you feel you truly are on the inside because you're always hiding from the world. Maybe that's a bit too abstract of a feeling to put in words, but that's how it's been for me at least. I know I'm much happier and confident now, and all my family and friends are so proud of my weight loss. I feel like I can't allow myself to let them down. I keep telling myself that once I reach my goal of 150lbs that I'll allow myself to eat more calories/carbs for maintenance, but in reality I know that my disordered behaviors are only getting worse and in the state I'm in right now I'll never want to stop losing weight. I've wrestled with the idea of trying to get down to 135-125lbs if I can. If I gain back any considerable amount of weight I'm worried I might become suicidal. I know that's a really extreme statement, but I absolutely cannot allow myself to gain weight or I know I'll be completely devastated. I don't know what to do now. Every time I go to weigh my food or track my meals it honestly just turned into such a mental battle with myself and I keep wanting to lose as much weight as possible. I want to be able to eat normally and responsibly, and not feel like food is the enemy, but I just can't help feeling the way I am now. Food has prevented me from living the life I wanted for so many years and I feel like I'm just not emotionally ready yet to begin to eat normally. My physical health has suffered a lot as a result sadly, and I'm always incredibly tired, fatigued, and my muscle strength is totally non-existent. Even just walking up the stairs in my house has gotten considerably more challenging than how it was before surgery. Exercising is something I really want to do but I honestly just can't with the energy levels I have right now. My blood pressure and blood sugar are always both pretty low too (around 80/50 range and 3.5, respectively). I really just can't seem to get over these mental struggles unfortunately. It's been quite rough. And that's why I'm desperately seeking your support right now. I'm just looking for some support/encouragement/advice or any kind words in general, because we WLS-ers are all in this together, for both the NSVs and the challenging parts of our respective journeys. If you read this far, thank you so much for listening! I really appreciate it

Quit watching the scale so closely! Or, at least, quit letting it ruin your day. Yes, it's common to fluctuate from day to day. As we drink more, or eat a little more, it's going to bounce up and down. However, the overall trend WILL be downwards, you can't eat enough NOT to lose weight. Now, with all that said, I am guilty of looking at the scale every day. I just have to make myself not care when it's bouncing up and down. Look for the NSVs and concentrate on them. It will keep you from making yourself crazy. You're rocking that sleeve!!!

It's taken 2 months but it seems things are finally settling down. Just the past few days I have felt more energetic and focused. Hopefully I am on the mend for good this time. I lost 12 lbs pre-op and post op I have lost 34.4 lbs and 39 1/2 inches. I had a really cool NSV today. I tried on the jeans I wore the day before my surgery. The last time I had them on, I had to suck in my gut to zip them. I put them on today so easily that when it was time to take them off, I just had to slide them down, and they were still zipped and buttoned.

I just bought a fitted Trench coat off the rack at a really nice store in the Seattle Airport! Couldn't have happened 3 months ago!

omg pnut that is too cool!! i have no realizations lately...but i know what it feels like when they happen. i hope you just cheered your butt off for these things, even if people were watching! I and dawg had better have given you a big hug and a kiss! these NSV's are whats gonna keep us all going.

Isn't it just the greatest feeling? I have become such a shopaholic for clothes now that it is so fun to have cute clothes fit. To me it is one of the best NSV there is.

Welcome!!! Here's hoping you have a smooth Pre-Op and even more easy Post-Op!! Everyone here is so great for support and help. I've been helped so much here and now I'm starting to settle in with what I've done. I'll continue to work hard every day and accept any NSV and weight that drops off always, with the help of everyone here.

Great NSV Penni! You look fantastic! I just love looking at the before and after pictures. It sure gives us newbies motivation!

Definitely a NSV! I'm reaching the point where I miss exercise if I can't do it when planned!

I started my journey back in January and lost 45 lbs pre op. I have lost 16lbs at 2 weeks post op and for the first time in 7 years I wore my wedding ring!!!! I was so happy that it fit again. I am looking forward to it getting too big!

So December 2012 I bought myself a beautiful ring for Christmas. It was a size 9.25. I was banded 5/30/2013 and recently reached my green zone. My ring was feeling loose so when I took it in for inspection I asked to have it resized. I now have a 7.5 ring finger. I know it's not much but I felt awesome.

Hi my little buddies, I wanted to update my progress. I am actually doing very well. I crossed my legs for the first time last night since 2004, NSV. I was so proud. Everyone has given many compliments. My kids look at me funny because I don't really look like their mom. I've been exercising since pre-op but at the moment I'm doing Elliptical 40 minutes in the morning and walking 30 during lunch. I was walking 3-4 miles a day and had to slow down due to Achilles tendonitis. Feeling much better with that. I'm eating 3 meals a day with 2 Snacks a day. I try to eat 200 @ meal and 100 @ snack time. I'm eating 20-30 carbs a day and average 800 calories a day. Things I eat: Deli turkey string cheese boiled eggs, love these tuna all meats and fish except chicken, ouch! Usually can only eat 2 oz at a time Hummus salad, ranch dressing green Beans and spinach, etc. SF popsicles and Jello w/SF whipped cream. Yum!!! Hot chocolate, SF Just started eating 1 oz walnuts for a snack I'm only losing about 2 lbs a week now. I can tell my body is readjusting. I have lost a bunch of inches, not sure of total. I know I've lost 10 off waist and 9 off hips. My blood sugars are still amazing and I'm so thankful. I just took my blood sugar after dinner and it was 94. Yahoooooo! I am having one continuous problem though, I constantly have to remind myself to slow down eating. I do get full before I eat my required 3 oz of Protein but it is so hard to slow down my eating. Bad habits sometimes are hard to break. I am working on it though. Another problem is seeing myself as thinner. I don't feel as thin as I am. I now weigh 246, but some days still feel 324. I work hard on this journey and love every minute of it. I, as I'm sure most of you, have always worked hard at slimming down but had always had a force pushing against me. I now know I have a tool that is on my side and we're working together to make my life better. I wish you all the best of luck and would love to encourage anyone that has questions or fears about the sleeve. Please don't hesitate to message me if you need any help. I am far from knowing it all, but would like to help in any way I can.

NSV stands for Non-scale Victory

Funny. Like your NSV. I picked up a pair of jeans that were 34 inch waist. I looked at them & really wanted them but decide after looking at them I wasn't not that small yet. Walked out to the car & checked the size pants I was wearing...SIZE 34!! Went back & got them. Funny how our mind works. Keep them NSV coming.

NSV= Non scale Victory. I think they are the best by-product of WLS. You go girl on not hiding the size! I am waiting for that day!!

OutStanding!! I feel silly asking but is nsv stand for?

Yesterday, as I was getting dressed for a doctors appointment, I noticed that my favorite comfortable pants (my yoga pants - whole 'nother story - love, love, love yoga pants) were dangerously close to falling off my hips.....which was not the case just last week while stalling. Also, my favorite blouse just felt sloppy. So, I put something else on, which ALSO felt strangely loose, but was not in danger of causing a social embarrassment. When I went to put my coat on, it very clearly felt like a stranger's coat. So then, I went to my storage closet and pulled out a wool coat that my boyfriend had bought me three years (and 50 extra pounds ago on my already obese body) for my birthday. It was still in the dry cleaner's bag from when I sorrowfully retired it when I could not button it up anymore. Cautiously I put it on, and buttoned it up - with room to spare! OMG - how could my body change so drastically in one week, when I had just come out of an exasperating stall? This morning, as I am getting ready for another closet flush, I have figured it out.......my body has been changing all along. I just could not see it because of my fatty fathead mindset. This sleeve thing and diligent exercise are doing their work even if the scale tells a different non-parallel story. That heavy 53" belly that was throwing my balance and posture off, is finally shape shifting and shrinking. Today, my mind is catching up with this amazing transformation that is happening to my earthly container. Oh yeah, and get this......The aforementioned appointment was at the pain clinic. I have been going there every three months for three years to get lumbar epidural steroid injections for sciatica. Yesterday, as I was getting positioned on the table, as the doctor is going through the patient ID process, he looks at me, and then my paperwork, and asks if they sent in the right paperwork. Have you been here before? They had to make sure, because they can't just give these injections to anyone, right? What is was, was that they did not recognize me. I explained it was for three reasons. 1. I was a redhead every other time I have been in there, but I am about to go through a drastic hair loss event and decided to quit keeping up with my birth red, and just embrace the gray of my mature years as the new hair comes back in. 2. It has been 5 months since I have been in because I had weight loss surgery and my discs have behaved a little longer this time. 3. I have lost 46 pounds and my face is way thinner. (When all is said and done, I will have to replaced my drivers license picture) Needless to say, I am stoked today. The sleeve has been so worth the inconvenience of having to treat my body and life like the precious gifts they are. Deny myself limitless carbs or deny myself inflammation and misery????? The choices are getting easier day by day. What a journey this is!!! It is not just about weight loss. I am discovering a whole new inside me who has been hiding behind a veil of fat and fear of rejection. Did you see the news story yesterday about the woman who was expecting triplets, and when delivery time came, there was a fourth baby who had totally escaped both x-rays and sonogram? It was hiding behind the other three fetuses in the womb. That's as good an analogy as any, I guess. I suppose a lot of us have just been hiding behind our issues and insecurities and are just now coming into or own as the people we are meant to be. Folks, I am just so happy today. What a revelation and huge step in my progress.

My mom absolutely loves Cato's.... I went in with her the other day and bought a few outfits from the "regular" size section as well. Prior to surgery I was 16w/18w depending on the material, cut, maker,etc. Bought a few size 16 pants and XL shirts and hoping to be in them by the end of the month. My NSV victory today was wearing my Old Navy (size 18 ) skinny jeans. They use to be SUPER tight...and I use to have a horrible muffin top when I put them on. Well today..I had to keep pulling them up because they are too big. Also can take them off without unbuttoning or unzipping. Looks like I am getting closer to a size 14...really hoping to be there before the end of April. My collar bone and jaw lines are becoming more pronounced. My neck is starting to look skinny.

That has to feel great! The NSV's are what I'm so looking forward to. Clipping my toe nails, painting my toe nails, tying my shoes without having to hold my breath......and sitting comfortably in a booth. So very happy for you!!!

Then give yourself the credit you deserve for recognizing this!! This is a NSV for sure, but keep thinking about it... Don't let yourself get too vulnerable that the old ways feel comforting. Truly, it sounds like you are doing well with sharing your concerns. Truly I was not mocking. I just can't imagine such a double edged sword- which this really sounds like. I am happy for you and your great success and wish you well on the next part of this journey!!

73 lbs is a lot of weight. Don't get down on yourself. I can only tell i've lost weight in my face and upper stomach. Otherwise I look in the mirror and see the same fat butt and thighs. Yet I know i've lost weight in those areas. Do you take any measurements? If not, have someone measure you once a month. That can be a small NSV for you. That way you may not see it but it will show up in your measurements the inches you've lost. Good luck!

I can't tell you how important it is for you to keep a personal journal of your thoughts and feelings during this life changing process. Before I had surgery I wrote a journal entry nearly every day. I haven't read those entries until today. What a difference a year made in my life. The struggles I had a year ago are not even in the picture now. I wish I had been more diligent in journaling since I had my surgery because the NSV's that I have had are amazing. I was totally unaware of the extent of the NSV's that I would experience. I have kept of daily record of my weights tho and even that is astounding. Again, I want to express how important it is to journal.

buforu21 WooHoo - Onderland - isn't it wonderful?!! what an awesome feeling feeling good about yourself, happy, not critical - you betcha this is a great NSV kudos/congrats on your success, many more good things in front of you, enjoy all of them keep up the terrific work

I'm staying in a hotel in Seattle with my mom and sisters for a girls night out. We've shopped, eaten out, and have had a great time! What really made me feel good we're all the NSV's one right after the other! First, I brought PJ's that didn't fit me last month, and they fit perfectly now, size xxl! Second, I bought my first pair of size 16w jeans at Macy's - all the way down from a size 26-28. Third- I went to Old Navy and I was able to fit in size Xxl or Xl depending on fit- I've never been able to shop the store before for clothes- just jewellery and dog toys. I went a little nuts in the clearance section because I needed replacement clothes for the ones I donated cleaning out my closet! Fourth- dinner at Cheesecake Factory, and I sat in the wicker chair instead of the booth- (fit easily- 1st time for that) & ate one Thai lettuce wrap for dinner. Fifth- went swimming at the hotel and used the hotel provided robe to cover up- it fit and tied up & I heard an angelic choir singing! . It was a great day and so encouraging! I had surgery July 2nd 2013, highest weight 330, surgery weight 289, current weight 219, size 16-18. Keep going newbies- you CAN do it!