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You say above that "granted, they are right." Respectfully, your friends and family are 100% wrong and don't have a clue what they're talking about. Obesity is not caused by a simple lack of willpower. If it were as simple as eating right and getting some exercise, none of us would be here right now. You didn't supply your height and weight details, but based on the list of ailments you've mentioned, I'm guessing you have a significant amount of weight to lose, like well over 100 pounds. It's very hard to lose more than a small percentage of your body weight and keep it off. About 95% of people who lose weight through calorie restriction and going to the gym regain the weight. Not because of a lack of willpower, but because there are complex systems in our bodies that work hard to keep us at a weight our bodies have decided is right for us. Unfortunately, in those of us with obesity, that desirable weight has been set much too high. Fighting against that is extremely difficult. That's not to say that surgery will fix your issues with food. It won't. You will still have to do all the work on your mental and physical health to lose the weight and keep it off. You will have to eat right. And exercise. And work on your food addiction by modifying your behavior, hopefully with the help of a professional therapist. You'll need to track your food intake for months if not for life, and there will probably be foods that you will never be able to eat again, either because they make you ill or because they trigger bad behaviors that you need to avoid. You'll have to learn a whole new way of cooking and eating. You'll have to be careful of transfer addictions. Sometimes you will feel left out when everyone else can eat things and you can't. You'll have to defend your choices to people who have no idea what they're talking about and no filter on their opinions. Surgery is frickin' difficult. But, it's effective. It changes your hormonal balance to make your body want to be at a healthier weight. If you follow the rules, you will lose weight and keep it off. Your physical health will improve. Your body will feel better. But you do have to follow the rules, and the rules are challenging. You have to be ready for it, and even when you think you're ready, it's common to make mistakes and to struggle sometimes. You'll need a support system and the confidence that you've made the right choice for the long term even when it sucks in the present moment. If you decide surgery is right for you, you will need to believe in yourself enough to look your family and friends in the eyes and invite them to either support your decision and help you, or else they can feel free to shove their negativity into the orifice of their choosing. This is your life, your body, and it's your right to decide what you need to live the best way you possibly can. No one else has to wake up with the pain you feel in your joints, hip, and back. No one else has to struggle through the day and have their options limited because of their size and health. No one else has a say in what you do to improve your situation. But I will tell you this. There are probably some people in your life who will not think this is true. They will not appreciate you stepping out of your role as the obedient one and standing up for yourself and not doing what they want you to do. They will feel threatened. They will not like it when you lose weight, and they will say mean and nasty things about how you cheated and took the easy way, because if you succeed at this, they will feel like it takes something away from them. They are the ones with the problem, not you. They may try to sabotage your efforts and make you feel bad about yourself. Again, they are the ones who are wrong. But that doesn't make it easier in the moment. So make sure you have people to talk to who support you. I wish you the best of luck. You're young and you deserve to have an awesome and long life full of good health and happiness. Don't let anyone else take away your chance at that. Finally, here is a video that I highly recommend to help with your decision:

You are not a failure, obesity is a complex disease. It often requires many tools to tame. There’s no shame in that. As a person who has had both VSG and RNY, I can tell you first hand that If you are relying on further restrictions to help you *may* not get that. Almost always the pylorus is bypassed so no there will sphincter holding food in your sleeve creating that classic VSG full sensation. However there are a lot of behind the scenes biological changes that *may* happen but you won’t know how you will respond until after surgery. The new class of obesity med may help immediately (if you can afford them). They are spectacular. In the time it will take you to go through referrals, appointments, testing and waiting for a date, you may lose the weight. They work that fast. Of course there are risks, some who cannot tolerate them or are very slow responders but the beauty is you can decide week by week if it’s worth it. If not, nothing permanent has been done. That’s the other issue. These are permanent use meds just like HRT or TRT. Maintenance doses are still being fiddled with by individuals so what permanent use looks like may not be weekly. Do a ton of research and ask your Bari/weight management team (if you still have one) what they think. Good Luck!

OMG our flipping brains! Sorting out the anatomy and engineering weight loss is only a quarter of the struggle. I hope you can silence that voice in your head @Bypass2Freedom while you're doing so well. No, actually - acknowledge it, feel what your brain wants you to feel and then try to address it by doing some exercise that you actually enjoy and that makes you feel good. Take that, brain! It's a long road. I know I'm talking from a place of little knowledge about your particular struggles - the best advice is usually to think about talking to a therapist but they don't grow on trees. You are doing brilliantly - I hope you can allow yourself to really feel that.

I agree with the others, you need to put yourself first. It’s your health and your life. If you get a surgery date, grab it with both hands. All because you can’t eat them doesn’t mean you can’t make them. While I was losing, I had 40th, 60th & 21st birthdays. Went out to dinner and socialised. I just chose not to have any dessert or birthday cake. Actually there were lots of things I couldn’t eat during that time. Didn’t stop me attending nor stop anyone else eating those things. I make the desserts at Christmas - always have so I understand traditions. I was fortunate that I had reached goal by my first Christmas & I had a little taste of some of the things I made but not everything. For example, my family loves pavlova. All because I wasn’t going to eat it didn’t mean I wouldn’t make it for them. It is the season of love & giving after all. I rarely eat desserts or sweet things. My choice. I make exceptions at Christmas, weddings, and the odd other special event but that usually means only a couple of times a year & I’m very cautious of portions when I do. There are lots of us who make foods for others or bring foods to share they don’t eat themselves & not just at Christmas or other seasonal celebrations. If you do experience dumping, & not everyone does, you’ll work out if you can eat any of the foods that set you off in the future. Many find they can have a small taste or find alternatives. Not eating cake or having dessert is a very small negative if you dump on sugar. The benefits of the surgery & your weight loss far, far, far outweigh that negative.

Happy to help 😉 It can definitely be off-putting if you’ve never dealt with these things before and you don’t know where to look or even what you’re looking for. I can guarantee that if you have a question re weight loss and all it attendant quirks & foibles, there will be someone around on the forum who has either gone through it themselves or know the answer 🙂

Hi March Buddies, How is everyone doing? I can’t believe it’s been 5 months post op. Had a huge milestone met this morning on the scale after a period of stagnant weight loss. A weight that I haven’t seen in over 30 years. I’m still in shock and very grateful I’m on this journey. Still more work to be done, but, these moments help to reassure me I’m on the right path. Hope my surgery buddies are all healed and doing well. I’m having an incisional hernia repair in a couple weeks, not from the gastric surgery, from gallbladder removal 10 years ago! Hopefully this will be the end of surgeries for a long time! Would love to hear what people have found to keep their protein levels up. And what activities are you able to enjoy now? I was thrilled to ride some amusement rides with my kids this summer!

I get the iron infusions yearly because the anemia is chronic due to my lupus. Been this way since I was a teenager. I don't feel a lot different after them, but it is what it is. I felt good when I weighted between 182-185, but once I went below 180, that's when I started feeling like crap. And no matter what I say to my doctor, it's like I'm not saying anything at all. She isn't taking me seriously because my labs are fine. It's really irritating me!!

i know several people who are on or HAVE been on Ozempic (including me**)...all of them lost weight in varying degrees...all with different starting weights. but they all did lose weight and it was noticable (to me). from what i can observe, the ones who stopped taking it gained the weight they lost back eventually. the ones who are still on it seem to maintain the weight loss. **i tried ozempic last year for fun/testing as my mom is prescribed it for diabetes and she had some surplus. I used it for a month at the lowest dose, and by the end of it i lost almost 8 lbs (and my starting weight was like 120 so that was actually quite a lot for my size). i stopped taking it because really, i didn't need it and just wanted to see what the fuss was about anyway. within a 2-3 months i gained back 5-6 lbs of the inital loss. so end net result was minimal (for me). in summary: - it works, but it seems you have to keep taking it indefinitely for long term maintenance. - it is expensive, so keep that im mind. - im my experience (and the general consensus of those i know who take it), part of its charm/workablitiy is because you basically don't want to eat when you are on it. so when you get off it, you want to eat again. - if you have the means and desire and accesss you could try it and see for yourself...the initial weight loss may even be a mental boost to inspire you do more on your own? good luck!

Oh OP please update your stats! No idea what surgery you had or when so no idea what advice to give about the gain. Sounds an amazing time. Big PSB fan here too. I saw them many years ago supporting Take That in Manchester. Glad you had fun. 🤩

You look amazing, great weight loss

Well I took the advice or the veterans who did or do yoga now and ordered some smaller legging because mine were rolling down. I thought I was maybe getting close to being near the next size but apparently I was already there. They looked so small that I thought there was no way but I tried this and they fit (comfortably). Also today I told a friend that I am planning to check out a craft show that is near her this weekend and asked if she wants to go for a while. Well it’s going to be hot and we are planning to meet up and do lunch first so since can’t get away with bike shorts and them and leggings are all I have right now I was on Amazon looking for shorts. Well I found some that looked good and apparently I thought that before too because it said I purchased them in 2023. So I looked In my drawer and sure enough I had two pairs of them brand new and would you believe they fit perfectly. Good thing too because I was ordering a size bigger and wouldn’t have had time to exchange them. So I guess I am reaching the stage where I can shop in my closet for a while. Ooh and my brain definitely hasn’t caught up with my weight loss because the shorts and the leggings both looked like they were going to be way too small.

This week, my doctor has restricted my diet even further (from 1200 calories to 800) to make sure that the liver really shrinks so he said Slimfast Shakes and Weight Watchers soups because it's pre-made whereas the shakes I've been making it might be harder to get the right measurements when I'm cutting calories from what I've been doing for the past 10 weeks. I guess it makes sense. Honestly, those slim fast shakes are the worst. The only one that tastes Ok (and not in that British deprecating way where we say "it's alright" when me mean it's pretty good) is the chocolate one. The rest? How do Strawberry, banana or cookies and cream shakes end up with an almost chicken-y aftertaste? How is this possible? Is this some kind of pact with Satan? Long digression, I know. But it made me dream of food last night. Which I have never done before. I dreamed all my family had gone to all the fast food places and I couldn't eat any but I ended up having a bowl of porridge from KFCs Breakfast menu? Talk about head hunger vs actual hunger!

I honestly don’t think them smart scales are super accurate. I’ve seen a few people on here say they got DEXA scans and that their scale was not the same. That being said. They do warn that we will lose muscle and that’s why it’s important to start with some strength building as soon as we are cleared to do so. About the stall, some people do actually gain a little. Usually it’s followed by a quick drop of that gain- plus some. I think it’s your body trying to hang onto every single calorie it gets because it thinks it’s starving. Sorta has to recalibrate for a short time and then you should be back on the downward trend. If my google search is correct 1kg is only 2.2 pounds. Honestly you could see that fluctuation any day. Doesn’t even have to be a stall. Could be your body retaining water or your bowels are full or you weighed at a differnt time of day. Virtually anything can cause that. That’s why they say it’s best to not weigh daily. I know it’s hard not to and I’m guilty of it too but we really do just cause ourselves unnecessary stress by doing it. When I had my sleeve my daily loss fluctuated several times by a couple of pounds. Even 3 or 4 a couple times because I weighed daily. But I did only record my weight once a week and that made it way easier to see the overall downward trend.

To speak to the bones sticking out part, I am roughly the same size as you (5'6" and 180 lbs) and yes, when I run my hands along my abdomen, I feel my ribs. And I can see my collar bone prominently. The last time I was this weight I was about 23 years old. And I remembered the other day as I felt a rib and said what the hell is this--that I used to be able to feel my ribs, see my collar bones, feel my hip bones, etc. all the time. Up until my thyroid quit on me in my mid-20s and my weight got into the 190s and then 200s. Associating that with being frail is more a comparison to how your body used to feel because most average weight women have bones that can be felt and no one thinks of them as delicate. Although, have you done a DEXA scan at all? I've been curious to do one to see how close my smart scale is to reality when it comes to muscle mass, fat percentage, etc. Maybe that would either put your mind at ease or give you some data to sway your doctors into running different tests? They're a little pricey, but I was thinking I might do one at my 1-year surgiversary. As for the tiredness and the circles under your eyes, I have that too. But I've also noticed that every other woman I know has the same, no matter what her weight. I'm not sure about your age or how much you have going on in your life right now, but I'm 50 years old with two teenagers who participate in enough after school activities that it's a part time job just to drive them there. Plus, I'm a single parent the past four years and their father has been unemployed long-term, so the stress is way up there. After almost 6 months of no caffeine, I started drinking tea in the mornings again and my brain fog is doing much better. So, while I would definitely be diligent in advocating for tests to figure out what is going on (especially since the universe seems to have chosen you pretty frequently for "almost unheard of, weird medical side effects") I'd also take stock of the stuff going on in your life that would make anyone feel run down and not their best. All of which is to say, hopefully you can find the balance between worrying about the things that need worried about and letting go of the things that will sort themselves out in time.

Good for you with your loss. I guess you showed them!! i would love to lose it all but I know that not likely going to happen with either of these surgeries. I was not always obese. In fact, I was quite tiny until I was 25. I started gaining right around the time my bipolar manifested and i started on the meds. I have lost weight here and there but overall I have gained steadily ever since. I was used to seeing myself thin more than half my life, though and i have not been happy with my body since I was like 30. I often see people on here say they see a stranger when they lose weight but I still see a stranger when I look in the mirror now. I realize that I am not in my twenties anymore and I’m not going to be a size one again but if I had a magic wand I would love to be close. I set my goal to 180 with the sleeve and I did surpass that a bit but I still wasn’t happy if I’m being honest. The dr had told me that I would probably get to around 150 so when I didn’t I was pretty let down. This time I think I will be happier to get to the 168 than I was before. Now I realize that I was at least healthy at that weight but I would still keep trying to go a little lower if I could. i think I will figure it out in terms of the surgery once I calm down a bit. The logical part of me knows that either one will get me to a much healthier weight, which is the most important thing. I don’t know why I am freaking out so much this time when I was so calm with my sleeve. I do have some pretty major stuff happening in my personal life that’s occupying a lot of my brainpower this time so maybe that’s why this decision is feeling so overwhelming. I really do appreciate all of your kind and thoughtful responses as well as everyone else’s here. I don’t think I would’ve made it this far without the support of this community. ❤️

Well you motivated me to see what was available for cheaper in my area in order to hopefully give you some suggestions and I found out that my own community center has lots of classes for cheap. They have a yoga class that looks promising. It’s Stretch and Flow Yoga. I have no clue what that means and I’m pretty sure it’s not beginner but I will just start in the back and do what I can I guess. 🤷🏼‍♀️ They also have a class that does some strength training and moderate cardio that I think I need to wait a little longer in the cardio and I know I need to wait two more weeks to be cleared for weights. I will be able to do them both time wise eventually, though, which would be 4 days a week. I’m seriously excited. I really hope that you find something that makes you excited too because exercise really does make you feel better once you get into the grove. Now I just have to figure out what people are wearing to Yoga nowadays. She says as she plans to go check out Amazon right after this. 😂

this was pretty obvious to me too. ( i noticed the original question was posed in june, and almost 3 months later, the objections remain) so here's a different angle: maybe just accept that traditional/dedicated exercise just isn't for you? i know lots of people who don't partake in dedicated exercise (who, may i add are "normal" sized) and seem to lead perfectly happy lives. exercise isn't everyone's cup of tea, sure its definitely an added bonus if one does it regularly for both mental and physical health, but you are not going to do it unless you actually want to do it. so why force it? just like the decision to get weight loss surgery, you are ready when you're ready....you just need a compelling enough reason to do it (which u don't have at the moment, it seems) maybe you'll feel differently next month, next year, maybe in 10 years , or maybe never. and thats ok, it is what it is. BUT... if you ever decide to get on the exercise train for reals, there are alot of us on here who would be ready and willing to help! good luck! ❤️

Pre surgery I didn't dream further than doing simple things that a fitter person could do. It was all I could do to keep our home clean and cook our meals. Thankfully we have shopping deliveries or I would have come unstuck. I could not go around a supermarket. I was so out of shape. I rarely went outdoors, it embarrassed me. I had learned never to reach too high, crashing into depression is a long road back to normality. So, My new world is eye poppingly wonderful to me. I now have to squeeze in some at home free time. I have a pass that lets me use the trains and buses free. If I feel like it and I mostly do, I am off exploring. I have no need of a car any more I am never hot and sweaty, out of breath or having an internal tantrum because I need to sit down and there is no seat I jump out of bed and into the shower with out needing any aids. It doesn't weaken me for the day I go out and never have to plan the route beforehand. I walk everywhere. I donated my walking sticks to the charity shop. I go abroad alone on holidays and explore alone. I have been married for almost 50 years and its so wonderful to have some me time. He is done with holidays. I do what I want to do, go where I choose. I have made new friends who wish to holiday with me next year ! I'm popular !! I have a small bucket list, To never gain any weight back. In the past I have been lucky, I have seen lots of the world. I still want to see Vietnam, visit Easter Island and live long enough to get new knees on the NHS. Dream big and stay small everyone

im 6 years out next month. for the past 3-4 years i can (and do!) eat anything/everything in small amounts. (this includes all the things most say they don't eat or drink). i average 2000-2300 cals a day. and i've stayed below goal weight this entire time. and have not needed to buy bigger clothes lol. but i also exercise quite a bit. the exercise is all things i really enjoy doing so its not "work" for me. balance is important, but also getting rid of the idea and thought processes that something is bad or not allowed or forbidden or whatever. because this usually leads to angst and shame and guilt that does nobody any good.

I did not exercise while I was losing. No gym membership. No walking miles. No cycling. Nothing. Didn’t hinder my weight loss. However I did up my everyday activity. Parked further away from where I was going. Walked up escalators. Made multiple trips up & down my stairs instead of making one or two trips to bring up the groceries, etc. Or go down to take or the rubbish and then go back down to get the mail instead of doing it in one trip. Saw a program by the late Dr Michael Mosley that compared the benefits of doing a block of 30 mins of exercise a day vs doing 3 or 4 bursts of 5 -10 minutes totalling 30mins of exercise a day. The difference was minimal. They called it exercise snacking and it’s what I started doing about 20months ago. I incorporate a number of yoga based stretches, resistance band exercises and exercises to improve flexibility across my day. Honestly I wouldn’t burn 30 calories but I have more defined & toned muscles in my arms and legs and my flexibility has improved which is what I wanted. I don’t find it a chore and I sort of enjoy it (something I never really down with any other exercise except yoga). I do it, or a modified version if I’m away, every day bar the odd day once or twice a month. Exercise contributes only about 10% of any weight you’re to lose. However, there are other benefits to your health and well being. You just have to find something you enjoy doing & doesn’t feel like a chore or a punishment.

It sounds like you've been on quite the journey, and your persistence through that plateau really paid off. It’s so inspiring to see how listening to your body and making those small adjustments with your diet made such a difference. It takes a lot of trust in the process and faith in yourself to try eating more when every instinct says otherwise, but it clearly worked out well for you! It's amazing to hear how your body is responding with more energy and the positive changes you’re seeing in your clothes and measurements. I’ve been going through a bit of a journey myself, having hit some frustrating moments and uncertainties with shifting to new foods post-surgery. Just like you, I’m learning to listen to my body and trust that it’ll tell me what it needs. I’m also focusing more on not letting anxiety get the best of me and staying patient with the process. Getting your steps in, adding weights, and having clear personal goals is such a strong way to take control of your health! I recently got a fitness watch, and I’m slowly working up to more focused routines too. It’s so satisfying seeing the numbers tick up and knowing you’re getting stronger day by day. I just switched to a split workout routine because I realized it fits better with what my body needs right now. The key seems to be finding what works for you, just like you've been doing. Also, it must feel fantastic to be buying clothes two sizes down! I'm excited for you—I remember not too long ago feeling that looseness in my own clothes and needing to size down. Those milestones are proof of all the hard work you’re putting in, even if the scale doesn’t always cooperate right away. It’s motivating to hear about your experience, and it’s a reminder that we’re not alone in this. Keep going, be gentle with yourself, and continue doing what feels right for you!

I am a baby in my journey 10months today actually, but I reached my goal weight at 6months and I creeped down a touch more for about another month. I have maintained +/- 3lbs for the past 3ish months. I track every single day (eating 1700-2000cal a day), I prioritize protein (hit 150-200g a day) although lately its more like 225g of protein and that is WAY too much my stomach hurts lol so I am adjusting, keeping fat low (under 90) keeping carbs under 200g. I lift heavy (3 days lower and 2 days) along with cardio (running, incline walks, stair master), then 1 day where I do 40min HIIT work out then 30min of cardio. I have 1 rest day. I meal prep every week so all my meals M-F from pre-workout snack down to my last snack before dinner is prepped and tracked. I know what's for dinner every day as I make sure to plan for those. All the food I make is now lower in fat, higher in protein and the family doesn't even notice! Weekends I "indulge" I still track but notice I do not eat as much those days. I eat protein ice cream using my Ninja Creami or sneak in a few bites of my hubby's Ben and Jerrys. I do eat chips, fries, lettuce wrapped burgers, fried chicken **gasp!!** very small amounts but I do not deprive myself. This is a LIFESTYLE change not a diet. So I wanna go buck wild and get back to where I was but I also don't want to be a bird and never enjoy all the yummy treats. MODERATION IS KEY!! Eat healthy 85-90% and stay active, you won't have any issues!

I was sleeve in 2015 and am having revision surgery next week (eek!!) but I never thought about the "what I want to do" type ideas before. Mostly I just wanted to lose weight - I've been heavy my entire life - but I think that maybe I'd like to... Be able to sit in one of those plastic/resin chairs that everyone seems to own for their patio without fearing that it might collapse under my weight, or sit at a sidewalk cafe/restaurant without my butt hanging over the edges of the chair. Have a mattress last longer than a few years before the "dent" I've put in it causes me even more body aches. Be able to go grocery or clothes shopping without feeling like I'm being stared at (that's my social anxiety, but it's made MUCH worse by my weight). Be able to fly economy class again (I've only been able to fly first class the last few years, because I just don't fit in economy anymore) WITHOUT the extender belt! Take my dog for walks and to the park and run around with him. Be able to sit in my desk chair for longer periods before my legs fall asleep because the chair isn't deep-seated enough for my butt! 🤣 I have boring "dreams" 😂

obesity is a very complex condition, and it takes a multi-pronged approach to lose weight. Among other things, there are biological changes which occur when you're obese (people with obesity even have different gut bacteria than people who don't) which make it very difficult to lose weight and especially, keep it off. You have to fight biology to do it, and biology usually wins. Fewer than 5% of people who lose a lot of weight are able to keep it off. I was in that battle for decades (I'm in my mid-60s - had surgery at age 55). I cannot tell you how many times I lost 15 or 20 lbs, just to have it come back on. On my more successful attempts, I'd lose 50 or 60 lbs - but again, it just came back on - and I had 200 lbs to lose! Surgery was the only thing that ever worked for me. There's a good chance I'd be dead by now if I hadn't had it. people who've never struggled with obesity have no idea what they're talking about. Listen to your doctor and yourself, and not people who have no clue what they're talking about.

When I buy mine, which is rarely Lol!, I usually go to Foot Lockyer as they do the assessment on your feet and recommend the best to suit your needs. Like I tend to pronate & get shin splints pretty easily & I only use them for walking. I had Brooks a few years ago which I liked though the last pair I bought are a different brand (has an A logo but I can’t recall what brand). My foot was smaller & narrower because of the weight loss which also influenced what brand was best too.