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TW: mental health issues, suicide, infertility I've gotten those comments already (only 3 months in, and nowhere near my goal weight), and in the past during other diet-based weight loss. I used to try to convince myself that these people mean well, that they're trying to show they care, or trying to give backhanded compliments. 2024 me? Nah. They're being petty, they're being bullies, they're jealous, they feel like your success highlights any issues they fault with their own body, etc. The only time I successfully lost weight 'on my own' through diet and exercise, I ended up gaining it all back and more -- and while I logically know it was my own choices that led to it, there was also my 'best friend' telling me that I looked like I was dying, that I looked like a cancer patient, etc, and then inviting me over and peer pressuring me into the most unhealthy foods. I was young and I had always been easily intimated / manipulated by her; I had always had **** self esteem and found my own value only through what others said they valued of me, etc. I know I was in a bad mental place to begin with. But it was absolutely brutal. But nobody, nobody, should be saying these kinds of things to another. Whether you're close to each other or barely know each other. Whether they're 'teasing' or not. It would be absolutely awesome if the world / society could normalize not making un-asked for comments about other people's looks. How about we apply 'consent' when it comes to these sorts of conversations? FFS. I'm sure I'm not the only one whom has had comments made while they were overweight. People, strangers, asking if you're pregnant, if you're female presenting. ((Afterwards, I always wished I could go back in time and cause a scene -- cause no, asshat, I'm actually unable to have children and it ruined several relationships and led to depression and suicidal ideation. But thanks for giving me that extra scoop of pasta sauce since it looks like I'm "eating for two.")) So many people have body issues, weight related or otherwise. Body dysmorphia. Mental health issues. Triggers. And what right does any person have to comment on someone else's appearance? If someone wants to go to the grocery store in their pjs, what's it to you? If someone got a new hair cut and you really don't like it, stfu. If someone lost over half their body weight, why do you feel entitled to question them about it or tell them you liked them better with a little more meat on their bones? (Not... you. You know. Societal 'You'.) There's a big difference between saying "Wow, you're looking good today" or "Is that a new shirt? It looks great on you" and letting the compliment receiver decide if they want to open the conversation up from there, and saying things like "Oh god, you're losing so much you're gonna disappear" or "ugh, you're losing so much weight, enough already." ... anyway. I'll end my venting-vomit with: I'm trying so hard these days to have the confidence in setting my own boundaries and actually enforcing them. I'm starting to figure out lines I can say when people cross them. I'm trying not to let my inner rage at a world full of entitled bullies make me someone who bullies back, but yeah, maybe next time someone seems fit to complain about my looks I'll find something they probably don't want to talk about either. If I'm fair game, so are they. Eat some karma. 😈

I swear I am so tired of hearing that! "Your getting too skinny" "your going to start looking sick" "Stop losing weight" "I don't want to hurt your feelings but you should just eat a little more" Like I realize this is the smallest I have ever been in my adult life, but I assure everyone that I am healthy and not starving myself. Even the surgeon and dietician said that I am eating more calories than someone at the same stage. I refuse to stop working out and refuse to stop eating how I eat to appease people. Ran over thanks for listening!

If my math is right, you're already at 12% total weight loss. My program gives a range of 22-30% total loss in the first year or two (for gastric bypass/RNY; for sleeve it was lower) You're well, well, well on your way at only 2.5 months in. Be proud of yourself. And honestly? Even when the weight loss slows down and you feel like you're fighting for the next pound to come off? Be proud of yourself then, too. Cause it's your choice every morning when you wake up to continue making the healthiest choices for your own body and health. And you're doing it. There are gonna be stalls, and the first few months weight seems to come off a lot easier -- so it will likely get slower. But you'll get there -- we'll get there. We're all on similar journeys here, but each one is going to be different. ...And as other have said, while comparison can be good when you're looking to find support for stuff we're all going through, when it comes to exact numbers (inches, pounds, etc) it's not really healthy to compare. Everyone's starting from a completely different place, with different programs, different comorbidities, different ancillary health issues, etc.

Has anyone experienced weight gain three weeks post op? To preface, I do have hypothyroidism and PCOS. I was down to 227 and I’ve been 230 for a week now. And the scale has not budged 😅 even after introducing more movement this week. I’m hitting all my protein and liquid goals as well. I’m intaking about 600-1000 calories a day. Has anyone else experienced this and does it get better?

my weight dropped down since. i guess this was just another slump

I have lost 122lbs as of this morning whoop whoop!! I have a size 8 not sure what size I have now but I have big hands lol Even my sister who is much smaller than and doesn't have weight problems has thicker fingers. Its our Irish curse in our family. Big calves and fingers LOL so even though I am working on my weight being stabilized I am not sure if my ring will reduce in size either. Perhaps I wait 6 more months and just do spacers.

What is your doctor opinion? Do you on weight gain trend right now? Have you deal with dietitian and psychiatrist after first surgery?

That is honestly an amazing loss! I think the key thing to remember here (as others have said) is that we are all different - our bodies all have their own individual quirks, different metabolic set points & needs, so one persons weight loss may be +/- than yours, and that is normal! I have been speaking to this lovely person who had the same surgery as me, same surgeon, PCOS & everything, just the day before me. Her start weight was a little lower so I fully expected to lose weight at a quicker rate than her, but it was the opposite way around! I remember feeling a little upset that I wasn't keeping up with my peers, but I really had to check myself to remind myself that 1) it isn't a competition, and 2) my body is losing at the rate it needs to. You are doing amazingly, be proud of yourself! Celebrate every win, no matter how small

When I had lost weight many moons ago, my jeweller put 2 balls of white gold inside my platinum bands to reduce the size and it worked perfectly. No damage to my rings, easy to remove if needed 🙂

I’d wait until your weight stabilised - you don’t want to have the ring resized again. I had one resized but because I lost more weight it became too big again. It was sized to a H and I need a F1/2 in the end. Though I really can’t get it smaller because of the design of the ring. So I just got ring resizers like @ms.sss. Much cheaper than the cost of resizing a ring. I also wear some rings on different fingers. Of course how successful they are does depend on how much to big your ring is. If it’s your engagement & wedding rings, I’d probably store them safely for now. You can always buy an inexpensive dress or costume rings to wear in the meantime or could be a god excuse to get new rings. 😉

Try not to let some arbitrary numbers be the determining factor if you feel that you are successful or not in all this. I had sleeve 3.5 years ago and several things went wrong along the way to add up to my eventual regain but I honestly think the main reason I failed was because I was so upset with myself that I did not reach the goal my dr had for me that I eventually said screw it and allowed myself to gain it all back (plus some). I was so close though. I am 5’8” and got down to 168 which was 18! Pounds from his hopes for me and a relatively healthy weight that I would be thrilled to be now but I got in the way of my own progress by all or nothing thinking and I let what that scale said or didn’t say be the most important thing in life!! Try to focus on all the non scale victories along the way. I think it was only 10% of weight lost that reduces many of the comorbidities that are brought on by obesity. You are healthier already than when you started all this. Try to celebrate that and all the little victories along the way and keep your focus on the important stuff. This is your journey and you will do great if you stick to your plan and remember it is about your getting healthier and nothing else. Especially not how you compare to others. Just do you and you will be living your best life before you know it. I’m rooting for you.

Number one: don't base your satisfaction with yourself based on how you compare to others. you will NEVER be satisfied. Number two: don't ask other people if you should be disappointed in YOURSELF. you don't need (nor want) others to be in charge of your own self-respect. Number three: despite the fact that Numbers 1 and 2 above is OBVIOUS and LOGICAL, the reality is basically NOBODY follows them, so don't feel bad if you don't either. Number four: even though i JUST said don't compare, i'm going to give you some data to compare (lol).... at 2.5 months i lost 52.6 lbs (which was 22% of my total body weight...52 / 235 = 22%) and i understand, based on statistical data and anecdotal evidence, that i was a pretty speedy loser, so...yeah.

"- Still have fun but track their calories and weight DAILY." This is me too. 1. What are your golden rules to successful maintenance? I've found that sticking to a monthly calorie average rather than a daily one gives me the flexibility I need. If I go over my limit for a week, I know I have time to balance it out. This approach prevents me from being too harsh on myself for one bad day. For instance, my goal for June is to maintain a daily average of 1550 calories.This method has been crucial for my success. In the past, focusing on daily or weekly limits led to self-criticism and was counterproductive. It took some time, but I’ve learned that this is a life long game. By being kinder to myself. I've made much more progress. Even naturally thin people overeat occasionally; the difference is they don't punish themselves or give up. 2. How did you manage the mental shift (navigating fear and uncertainty) while transitioning to maintenance? The shift for me came pretty naturally. I eased into it slow. I remember in the beginning that if I lost a pound or so that month I would adjust my calorie intake, small increments so I wouldn't get used to too high of calories. It's always a slippery slope when you have a history of overeating. I adjusted it month to month, until I got to the point that my weight was stable month to month. 3. How much indulgence do you actually allow yourself? I don't have any absolutes. I do try to eat healthy 80/20. I try to eat 5-8 servings a day of fruits and vegetables.

That’s five pounds a week. That seems great to me!! Just stick to your plan and remember that you didn’t gain it overnight so it won’t come off that way either.

I'm up for my driver's license renewal and my face has changed due to the weight loss in the last 10 years. Sorry you had to go through that, but thank you so much for the heads up!

Below is a recap of the positives and negatives of my gastric surgery one year after the surgery. Positives: I am no longer a diabetic after 15 years of being a diabetic. I do not take any anti acid medication, I was on daily anti acid medication for 20 years. I no longer have GERD or Barrett’s Esophagus. I look good, I feel good, I lost 100 pounds and I am able to do things that I was unable to do before. Negatives: Lactose Intolerance: I inherited a lactose intolerance after the surgery and will never be able to enjoy dairy products like ice cream. Alcohol Abstinence: I will never be able to have a beer or a glass of wine, due to the high alcohol concentration in the body, so I have prohibition of alcohol consumption for life. Medication Absorption Issues: Significant Challenge: Post-surgery, the stomach processes medications differently, resulting in varied absorption rates. This issue is under-researched and poses a significant opportunity for further medical studies. Example: Treatment of infections such as UTIs can be complicated. Ineffective antibiotic absorption can lead to persistent infections and increased risk of complications. I had severe challenges with antibiotic absorption. I had repeated UTI incidents due to ineffective medication absorption that necessitated trying multiple antibiotics before finding an effective one that absorbed appropriately. Due to lack of research in this area, doctors have almost no knowledge of this and you have to become your own subject matter expert. Reduced Immunity: Increased susceptibility to infections, including: Cold Sores: Post-surgery imbalance in lysine and arginine levels resulted in frequent cold sores. Daily lysine supplements were recommended to manage this issue. This is one additional supplement I need to take daily. Fungal Infections: Significant weight loss altered skin physiology, leading to recurrent fungal infections in skin folds. Preventive measures include having antifungal prescriptions on standby. Nutritional Imbalances: Vitamins and Minerals: Maintaining a balance of essential nutrients is a constant challenge, truly a daily full time job. Taking vitamins, minerals and being able to change the amount based on blood test results is a life long commitment. Anemia: Despite taking supplements, anemia can still occur, this is a constant struggle for me. Mineral Toxicity: Excess minerals like phosphorus can lead to osteoporosis, indicating the fine line between deficiency and toxicity in nutrient management. This has been a challenge for me, my blood tests have consistently showed high phosphorous levels and nobody has an answer to this. I consulted several physicians including endocrinologist, nephrologist and my family doctor, with no answers thus far. Severe Hunger: Increased Hunger: Somewhere between 6 months and a year post-surgery, hunger pains became more intense than pre-surgery. The luxury of not being hungry all the time went away. Nobody talks extensively about this but lack of hunger goes away for all gastric surgery patients, hunger comes back and it is up to the individual to eat properly and not gain the weight back, which is very easy to do. Inability to Fast: Unlike before the surgery, fasting for even a day can cause severe physical reactions including shaking and an overwhelming feeling of malaise. I was unable to resolve the Atrial Fibrillation. This was the main reason for which I had this surgery since Australian studies were showing promising results curing AFib with weight loss. While the episodes are less frequent my AFib is still there. Conclusion: Gastric surgery offers weight loss benefits but comes with lifelong challenges that require constant vigilance and management. Thorough consideration and consultation with healthcare professionals are essential before proceeding with any gastric surgery.

You look absolutely amazing!! Congratulations on the weight loss. I don’t know how you do it with all the traveling. I think it takes some time for us to adjust to actually seeing ourselves thinner even after we have lost the weight. Even losing 45 lbs now I don’t always see myself thinner. Then I look at my English bulldog who also weighs 45 lbs and remind myself that I lost that much weight lol 😂 When I look at it that way it makes me see it differently. I am 18lbs away from my weight the surgeon wants me at but it is very slow going now. Some days I fluctuate between the same couple pounds instead of going down and making any real progress. Orientation at work already has given me a cough and stuffy nose. Too much time hibernating at home. I am anxious though to see if all the moving 8 hrs a day will get the weight dropping faster. I hope everyone continues to beat the scale and stay positive!! It looks like everyone is doing great!

I was the same. Nothing tasted good and I'm so not into sweet foods, protein shakes were a nightmare to drink and half a smoothie took me a whole day to finish (and they were gross no matter what I put in them). It gets better, I found that after the pureed stage I lost my interest in eating, it was only after I started consistent weight lifting and exercise (around 4 months) that my hunger returned. Hang in there!

Had to get a new driver’s licence today. They took the new picture which is then run through a facial recognition program where your new photo is compared to your old licence photo as proof of identity. Program runs & runs & runs. Comes back it’s not me. (Well it was when I looked in the mirror this morning.) Had to have another photo taken & had to pull my hair back. (Great. This will be my licence photo for years.) Again the program runs & runs & I’m sitting there with the woman processing my request waiting & waiting. I asked if there was an override to this step. No she says. What happens if it still doesn’t recognise me? We keep taking pictures until it does or the license can’t be issued she says. It does realise I’m 10 years older I ask then I realise: 10 years & 42kgs lighter. Oh… Thankfully, the program decided it was me with the second photo & my new licence will be sent to me in 21 days. (Don’t get me started on that. What happened to them producing the licence there & then & your new licence is warm from the laminated printing process.) Anyone else have unexpected experiences because of their weight loss?

The progress in your pictures is awesome. My scars are lighter, two of them are small but you can still see them somewhat. With you being normal BMI, I would say it's going to take time to get to your goal. Travelling a lot will have something to do with it as well. I want to get under 200 lbs. before my knee replacement in October. I know, once I have that done. Weight loss will probably be nonexistent for a couple months.

Congratulations on your weight loss. I hope your sweating issue has resolved with your being closer to goal. I have question though? Do you recall the name of the rx your dermatologist gave you for sweating? I have a similar issue which I know is exacerbated by my weight but even when I lost weight with the sleeve it was still an issue. It’s horrible to live with. I have seen every specialist and had every test I can think of. My dermatologist gave me oxybutwnin which was great for my bladder but did nothing for the sweating. I would be thrilled to know that thete is another option.

@BlueParis, you look amazing. I wish you didn't have so much societal pressure to be crazy thin. Being a healthy weight should matter most, then feeling good. I grew up in southern California and always felt pressured to be thinner than I was. Even when I was 116 pounds, I was told, "You're getting there." Looking back, I looked sickly thin for my frame. My scars are pretty dark, too, especially the largest one. The others are quite small and not that noticeable. I saw my primary doctor today and she wasn't at all worried about my A1C being at 6.1. She said we'll take another look at it in 6 months. She was very happy with all my numbers and thrilled about my weight loss. She said I was "boring and making her job so easy." That was a first!

@BlueParis Frustrating as it is, I think it takes most people about a year to reach their lowest weight. Those lucky few who drop the weight really fast are unusual. I know it's hard! But you're a healthy weight and looking great, so it's worth being proud of how much you've accomplished, especially with such a difficult travel schedule. At least your stall has broken! As for scars, mine are similarly dark purple. This is not a surprise to me as I get very dark scars, even from spider bites. Those pajama pictures reminded me that I had to get rid of an old favorite pair of pajamas as they were much too large. I look forward to buying a cozy new pair when the cold weather rolls around! I honestly don't know how anyone stays on track while traveling, especially on vacation. It is so hard when eating at restaurants non-stop, not to mention being surrounded by snack foods and temptations like ice cream and candy, which are much too easy to eat. I dread what my weight will be at the end of the week when I get home from my family trip. This will be the most days in a row I've missed weighing myself since surgery. But now that I've had a day of indulging in some treats, and realizing that eating junk isn't as appealing as I remember and kind of makes me feel blah, I'm hoping I'll be better about limiting myself to the healthiest options I can find.

I eat fairly normal-sized meals and have for a long time. And by "normal" I don't mean the gargantuan amounts I ate before surgery - I mean the size of your average woman who eats more on the light side. No one could tell by what I eat that I've had RNY (like they could have my first few months post-op). If they even notice at all, they'd assume I'm just a light eater. I really don't eat any differently than most of my never-been-obese women friends who are watching their weight. example - if I go out for pizza, I can only handle 1-2 pieces (as opposed to the half a large pizza that I used to eat). At restaurants I'll often order something like soup and salad or an appetizer, but if I get an entree, I'll eat half of it and have them box the rest up. Pretty much the same as a lot of my women friends.

I’m 6 years out & if I tried to eat a “normal” meal I would throw up. I can only eat about 3 1/2oz at a time. This means I have to eat 5 times a day. My surgeon even made my pouch a little bigger because I didn’t need a by pass for weight loss but because my esophagus was in an L shape & this was the best way to correct it. Try eating smaller portions.