Search the Community

I’m suffering. I’m rubbish. I’m a failure. I can’t do it. I didn’t think I should write about this on a weight loss surgery blog as it doesn’t entirely have relevance. Especially as I signed out almost two months ago saying I wouldn’t be writing any more. Ah, but how the slow winter nights of insomnia have a way of thrusting the urge to splurge upon one’s frame. So, why am I suffering? Why am I rubbish? A failure? And what exactly can’t I do? All will be revealed in the next exciting paragraph. With as much stalling as I can muster – I am slowly coming to the painful realisation that I might well be an alcoholic. Ouch. Did I say that? Well – I may not be an alcoholic, but indeed I am a heavy drinker. All who know me and love or hate me will vouch for that very fact. But when it comes to being a true alcoholic – the definitions seem so muddy, I am not sure. Or am I? I have no withdrawal symptoms when I stop and I am not dependent, but – I continue to drink despite the negative social effects, despite the financial drain on my less than healthy financial state and despite the effects it has on my health. This is where I am stretching the relevance to a weight loss issue. But lately, I am wondering whether it is more closely linked than I initially thought. Over the last few months, my progress into the halls of The Temple of Normal BMI has halted. My eating has lessened and my exercise has increased. My drinking has also picked up a tad. Goddammit, there lies the big bloody bastard bugger-face staring me straight in the eyes. I know it’s there. I can see it plainly and simply. Alcohol is causing me to not lose weight, despite being over-tightened on the band front. Alcohol is causing me to slowly lose friends. Alcohol is causing me to lose money. Alcohol is having great effects on my family life and alcohol is causing me to hate myself. So you can see the attraction I have to it, eh! I am writing this because I am so disappointed in myself and have used this outlet to vent and eventually feel better about the problems at hand. However, I don’t think this problem is going to be sorted by vitriolic venting. What has become clear in this whole gastric band journey is the addiction I had to food – and probably still do. You may well catch me of an evening desperately trying to eat a juicy steak. After each mouthful – running to the lavatory to expel what I have just swallowed as my band is currently just a little too tight. I could easily eat less cumbersome things to ensure ease of passage – but I want the steak. And I will return to the plate and repeat the same procedure perhaps four or five times. Because the band hasn’t cured my need to satisfy my desire for flesh! But it has offered me a way to control it should I so desire. It has helped me realise my addiction more than anything else. A knowledge which I am grateful for; but sometimes a little foolhardy with. I have so far, despite my pitfalls and apparent bulimic state, been relatively good with all other food (I won’t bore you with my chocolate rushes). Booze on the other hand has no control in place. I am at its mercy. In fact, I am at MY mercy. Let’s face it – I decide when to drink – I am aware and I am fully conscious of what it is doing. I was under the grand illusions as I started to lose weight that I would quit drinking. I know the reason I do it and it is sadly very simple. I do it because I am terribly shy. When I have had a drink however, I am quite the opposite. I become bombastic, gregarious and hugely annoying and people, despite their best efforts, can’t fail to notice me. Something in me likes that. The shy retiring giant hates being shy and retiring and craves people to remember him. Even if it means the memories for them are bad and the memories for me are non-existent. I figured it would be the end to my drinking because I wouldn’t be so shy. Losing weight would give me more confidence and make me more outgoing and allow me to stand tall and have conversations with people on an equal standing knowing that they were talking to a person, not a walrus. But, such is life that when a walrus loses weight – it is still a walrus. I am still painfully shy and I still find it difficult to talk to people. Maybe years of fatness have ingrained shyness into my psyche or maybe I am just shy because I am. The gastric band has given me a great opportunity to overcome some of my demons. An opportunity that I sometimes abuse and take for granted – time has a wonderful way of letting one forget their blessings. What it hasn’t done is offer me a cure for all of my other failings. Perhaps writing this will be the first step on another journey of self-discovery and perhaps it will just be another piece of prose that adds to my posthumous biography that will never be written. I decided to write this because I do feel it is of relevance to people considering having the surgery as it has shown me that I was perhaps a little over-eager to consider it the answer to my problems instead of a pretty good guide to help me find my own answers – a guide that is sometimes ignored. So, after that marathon outpouring of in most angst and in summation: I’m suffering - yes I am, but I am admitting I need help, so my suffering on that side of things is perhaps no longer in silence and it may well help my future efforts. I’m rubbish - yes again. But, I know I have a way to crawl out of the trash can. It’s just up to me to do it. I’m a failure - not entirely, because it’s not yet over. Maybe I can turn things around. I can’t do it - Yes I can. Originally posted at: www.lapbandblog.org.uk

Mickey, at least it's an incision at your bra line. I've read that some women have had their port placed there! I read that prior to my surgery, and it prompted me to ask the surgeon where my incisions would likely be and where he placed the port. I know at least one woman said she had to have a second surgery to have her port moved. Good grief, you'd think they'd know better. I hope your incision heals quickly and you that you can start to wear your bra comfortably. About the sutures. I had one that popped out too, and I was told I could cut it myself if it was really bothering me, or I could come in and they'd do it. I put alcohol on my skin around the suture and on the scissors. Then I pressed down gently to make the suture stick up better, and snipped it. The place where the suture popped through stayed red until I clipped it.

PJTP...Good early morning everyone! :thumbup: Had a wonderful end-of-the-week - healthy lunches with friends at work which required an extra walk to reach them (bonus!) and went out dancing last night with my hubby after a First Friday concert event. Had a great time - while I don't necessarily recommend this to everyone, I danced the 'Cupid Shuffle' and the 'Cha Cha Slide' back to back at the club in 5-inch spike heels! :-) Just goes to show what living a good banded life can do for ya! My legs were feeling strong (all the running and walking) and my knees didn't hurt (losing 69 pounds helped) and for me, since I'm a diabetic, no alcohol, but plenty of Protein before (dinner at First Friday show). Sometimes I wonder why it took a major health challenge for me to wake up and treat my body right...but that's in the past. I am so enjoying my 'normal sized' life (thanks to my band!), and while I would NEVER look down on someone still fightiing their weight (because I'm not at goal yet) I WILL become more of an evangelist regarding living a healthier life, and getting there by using the Lap-Band. Everyone have a wonderful Saturday - rainy and chilly here in CT, but I've got my brand-new elliptical trainer in my house that's ready for me so I don't miss a workout prior to my Penguin 5k run in two weeks. Have a wonderful day - going with my daughter and a good friend to New Haven to see "The Cleanup Woman" (musical / play in the Tyler Perry vein) and have dinner after the show. BBL!

my doc basically said... I am a carb addict... stay off the carbs (bread; rice; pasta) while I am in the weight loss phase. Once I have achieved my desired weight loss, then I can add those back in, in limited quantities. You wouldn't give alcohol to a recovering alcoholic, why tempt our bodies with those triggers? That doesn't mean I can't have veggies and fruit, though... so keeping a good low GI balanced "diet" is, IMO, a good thing. food for thought...

Wine has more carbs than hard liquor, but onlyif you're doing straight shots or mixing with water - juice, soda etc. all add more carbs to a mixed drink than wine has. For example, rum and (flat) diet coke has zero carbs, but is full of calories from the alcohol, which has to be burned off by your body before it can burn carbs, which is has to do before it can burn fat. SO. My advice it to chose the one that you think you'll drink less of. I KNOW I can put away a crapload of Baja Bob margaritas (no carbs if you use Baja Bob's sugar-free mixer, www.bajabob.com), so I would pick the wine cause I doubt I'll even finish 2 glasses of that. NOT that I would know. Jes?

Hi Dane65, I haven't had surgery yet, but I know I will face a similar dilemma when I do. I have always used eating to relieve anxiety and depression, the same way other people use alcohol and drugs. I know I will have to find more positive ways to cope with my emotions (rather than destructive ways like gambling or excessive shopping). My surgery center offers weekly support groups, which I will definitely be attending. If I want to drive around to different cities, I could attend up to three per week if needed. I think journaling and writing about feelings could help. Other options are individual or group therapy, or a 12 Step program like Overeaters Anonymous or Emotions Anonymous. A meditation class or yoga class might also be very helpful. Best of luck to you (and me too!), pixistix

Definitely watch the alcohol. When you're out, think of yourself as the designated driver. A DD doesn't drink plus there's always water.

I’m 62 pounds lighter since my May 28th LAP-BAND® surgery. In eighteen weeks, there has been such significant weight loss and, more relevantly, so much positive change in my health that I can hardly remember the time when I was medically obese and “lost.” First, let’s dispense with the formalities. Need to know exactly what LAP-BAND® surgery involves? Click on The LAP-BAND® I : "Entering the zone" | Babyboomers.tv. Want to know how civilians react to news that I’ve elected to have surgery? Click on http://babyboomers.tv/content/LAP-BAND®-zone-ii-dealing-civilian-response. Interested in hearing about my status and what happens next? Read on. In addition to monthly post-op visits with Dr. Gellman, my bariatric surgeon, -- click on www.northshoresurgical.net -- I’ve lived through 4 months now as a post-operative LAP-BAND® patient. It doesn’t feel that much different than following Weight Watchers, Atkins, and other weight loss programs. Except … I’ve had laparoscopic surgery to help cure my lifelong addiction to food; There is this device inside of me banding the upper portion of my stomach; The LAP-BAND® is a “tool” to help me cut down on food consumption; While my 62-pound weight loss has been sensational, the doctor reminded me this week that the band was inserted for a reason and it’s time to tighten it now. So, this is a different reality for me. The band will be tightened in a few days by injecting saline solution into a port which has been surgically inserted on the inside of my stomach epidermis. The net result is that the band will be tightened and my little stomach pouch (the “stoma”) will feel full with less food. I’ll have to go back on a liquid diet for a few days to allow the stoma to adjust to its new tighter reality. Aside from my regular visits with Dr. Gellman, I also attend a monthly support group with other post-op patients. These groups are enormously helpful for both the camaraderie of those who have been through my same experience as well as for the practical advice I get from participants. At the last group, the topic was “How have you changed for the better or worse following surgery?” I believe life is drastically different (and better) since surgery. However, I’m still a LAP-BAND® rookie so I asked the group “do you all tell people that you’ve had LAP-BAND® surgery?” Interesting responses: “it’s none of anybody’s business”; “nobody has to know”; “they don’t understand”; and, “I only tell my closest friends and relatives”. I understand. Even though I’ve gone public on this website for the entire world to know my story, there are specific people in my life who don’t know about my decision to go through with LAP-BAND® surgery --- most importantly, my mother and father-in-law. They are in their 80’s and they just wouldn’t understand the surgical procedure (or the need for it). Mind you, they are each thrilled to hear about and see my weight loss progress. The best advice to come from the support group, however, has been “If anyone asks how you lost the weight, tell them you’re on Weight Watchers.” This echoes a similar sentiment from Dr Gellman, who reports: “so many of the patients in our practice simply default to “Weight Watchers” when asked how they lost the weight. There is logic here … the final phase of post-operative eating adjustment encompasses a diet that is very much like the Weight Watchers protocol: Eat fruits and vegetables liberally; Follow portion control: 1 ounce of meat = size of a matchbox; 3 ounces of meat = size of a deck of cards; 3 ounces of fish = size of a checkbook; Medium apple = size of a tennis ball. [*]Use little, if any, sugar; [*]Choose lower fat foods; [*]Avoid fried foods; [*]Eat 3 meals a day; [*]Exercise regularly, preferably 3 or 5 or 7 times per week (I walk 4 miles every day;) Who, among us, has not seen this movie before? And yet it really is unlike the thousands of diets I’ve previously been on. I think it has a lot to do with my commitment to a new way of life once I agreed to the surgery. And, I strongly believe in my ability to do this. Also, there is the reality that the little stomach pouch won’t hold the huge quantities of food I had become accustomed to eating. But, if we’re honest, I believe it’s that I don’t want to betray the promise I made to myself: this time, it’s for good and will be different than before. At our tender age when death and illnesses are dodging us, who is gonna argue? I’ve learned from my support group that the post-op fellowship strongly resembles Alcoholics Anonymous: it’s critical to keep sharing your feelings and to report any incident(s) of falling off the wagon. Fine with me, so far. But then, I’ve never really had a problem losing weight --- it’s maintaining my goal weight that has always done me in. For now, I take it one day at a time. The weight loss has been thrilling and I’m extremely grateful for my newfound health and mobility. I’m off blood pressure medicine, I don’t need the sleep apnea machine and my knees have magically stopped hurting during my 3-4 mile daily walks. As for the outside world and how to respond to the queries about “how did you do it?” … I smile like a Cheshire cat and reply that my answer lies in a renewed commitment to exercise and a diet of fruits, vegetables and healthy proteins. I guess my real shorthand answer can be “I’m going to Weight Watchers.”

I’m 62 pounds lighter since my May 28th LAP-BAND® surgery. In eighteen weeks, there has been such significant weight loss and, more relevantly, so much positive change in my health that I can hardly remember the time when I was medically obese and “lost.” First, let’s dispense with the formalities. Need to know exactly what LAP-BAND® surgery involves? Click on The LAP-BAND® I : "Entering the zone" | Babyboomers.tv. Want to know how civilians react to news that I’ve elected to have surgery? Click on http://babyboomers.tv/content/LAP-BAND®-zone-ii-dealing-civilian-response. Interested in hearing about my status and what happens next? Read on. In addition to monthly post-op visits with Dr. Gellman, my bariatric surgeon, -- click on www.northshoresurgical.net -- I’ve lived through 4 months now as a post-operative LAP-BAND® patient. It doesn’t feel that much different than following Weight Watchers, Atkins, and other weight loss programs. Except … I’ve had laparoscopic surgery to help cure my lifelong addiction to food; There is this device inside of me banding the upper portion of my stomach; The LAP-BAND® is a “tool” to help me cut down on food consumption; While my 62-pound weight loss has been sensational, the doctor reminded me this week that the band was inserted for a reason and it’s time to tighten it now. So, this is a different reality for me. The band will be tightened in a few days by injecting saline solution into a port which has been surgically inserted on the inside of my stomach epidermis. The net result is that the band will be tightened and my little stomach pouch (the “stoma”) will feel full with less food. I’ll have to go back on a liquid diet for a few days to allow the stoma to adjust to its new tighter reality. Aside from my regular visits with Dr. Gellman, I also attend a monthly support group with other post-op patients. These groups are enormously helpful for both the camaraderie of those who have been through my same experience as well as for the practical advice I get from participants. At the last group, the topic was “How have you changed for the better or worse following surgery?” I believe life is drastically different (and better) since surgery. However, I’m still a LAP-BAND® rookie so I asked the group “do you all tell people that you’ve had LAP-BAND® surgery?” Interesting responses: “it’s none of anybody’s business”; “nobody has to know”; “they don’t understand”; and, “I only tell my closest friends and relatives”. I understand. Even though I’ve gone public on this website for the entire world to know my story, there are specific people in my life who don’t know about my decision to go through with LAP-BAND® surgery --- most importantly, my mother and father-in-law. They are in their 80’s and they just wouldn’t understand the surgical procedure (or the need for it). Mind you, they are each thrilled to hear about and see my weight loss progress. The best advice to come from the support group, however, has been “If anyone asks how you lost the weight, tell them you’re on Weight Watchers.” This echoes a similar sentiment from Dr Gellman, who reports: “so many of the patients in our practice simply default to “Weight Watchers” when asked how they lost the weight. There is logic here … the final phase of post-operative eating adjustment encompasses a diet that is very much like the Weight Watchers protocol: Eat fruits and vegetables liberally; Follow portion control: 1 ounce of meat = size of a matchbox; 3 ounces of meat = size of a deck of cards; 3 ounces of fish = size of a checkbook; Medium apple = size of a tennis ball. [*]Use little, if any, sugar; [*]Choose lower fat foods; [*]Avoid fried foods; [*]Eat 3 meals a day; [*]Exercise regularly, preferably 3 or 5 or 7 times per week (I walk 4 miles every day;) Who, among us, has not seen this movie before? And yet it really is unlike the thousands of diets I’ve previously been on. I think it has a lot to do with my commitment to a new way of life once I agreed to the surgery. And, I strongly believe in my ability to do this. Also, there is the reality that the little stomach pouch won’t hold the huge quantities of food I had become accustomed to eating. But, if we’re honest, I believe it’s that I don’t want to betray the promise I made to myself: this time, it’s for good and will be different than before. At our tender age when death and illnesses are dodging us, who is gonna argue? I’ve learned from my support group that the post-op fellowship strongly resembles Alcoholics Anonymous: it’s critical to keep sharing your feelings and to report any incident(s) of falling off the wagon. Fine with me, so far. But then, I’ve never really had a problem losing weight --- it’s maintaining my goal weight that has always done me in. For now, I take it one day at a time. The weight loss has been thrilling and I’m extremely grateful for my newfound health and mobility. I’m off blood pressure medicine, I don’t need the sleep apnea machine and my knees have magically stopped hurting during my 3-4 mile daily walks. As for the outside world and how to respond to the queries about “how did you do it?” … I smile like a Cheshire cat and reply that my answer lies in a renewed commitment to exercise and a diet of fruits, vegetables and healthy proteins. I guess my real shorthand answer can be “I’m going to Weight Watchers.”

Absolutely ma'am! You may be drinking too many calories... 5oz glass of wine is about 100 cals 1.5oz of alcohol is about 100 cals not to mention any mixers... Don't over do it. You came all this way, don't sabatoge yourself.

I have had trouble with losing. I've been banded for 2 years and lost only 10pds the first year. The first part of 2nd year lost nothing. Then I decided that I was getting too many calories from wine. I drink 3 sometimes 4 glasses of wine almost every nite. I quit and lost 23 pounds over 6 months. Started back a few months ago and gained 3 pounds. Now I am going to quit for good. I think liquid calories are the weight killer. Liquids like alcohol and pop just go down the band so easy. Also try to remember when eating it's protein first.

WLS has completely taken the joy out of alcohol for me. I get word-slurring drunk on a tiny amount and 30 min. later I'm stone, cold sober. I never get that nice mellow feeling. I didn't do alcohol for most of my weight loss phase though... I wanted to lose as fast as possible because I knew maintenance would be the hard part and I wanted to start on it as soon as I could.

I talked to my surgeon about this a couple weeks ago, and he cleared me to have a few sips of wine. I doubt I'll ever be able to consume an entire glass of wine again. I am almost 4 months out, and my surgeon advised me to steer clear of super dry red wines (I didn't ask why, but that's what he said). I haven't tried any alcoholic beverages since surgery. He advised that if I wanted to experiment with alcohol to do it very slowly, and minimal amounts. I have a feeling just a couple of ounces will have me boozed up.

You know you're a bandster when.... ...you consume a case of Water in a few days rather then a case of soda ...you are so use to eating so fast that you are done with ur entire meal before anyone else even gets started, but now you are still on your soap while they are finishing their entree ...you are drinking water at the bar and acting as if it's a gin and tonic so no one knows you aren't drinking alcohol ...everyday people ask, "so how much is it now?"((as in how much weight have you lost))

Thank you all so much for the very warm welcome. I was not sure for a while whether I was going to have the sleeve or the Rny. I have more concerns with the Rny and especially the absorption and bowel obstruction issues. Based on the pros and cons I have set my mind on the Sleeve. Also, I eat healthy food, no refined sugar, no hydrogenated fats, no red meat, no alcohol, nothing preserved, or any white flour, rice or pasta. I have been eating this way since July 29th and to date I have lost 24 lbs. my problem is portion control, not choice of food, and for this reason I believe the sleeve is the choice for me. My first appointment is Nov 16th and I am so excited. I look forward to sharing my journey with all of you and wish you all the best. Thanks again.:thumbup:

It has happened to me three times. I'll find a great web site, like this one, connect with people who have the same surgery date as I did, February 10, feel like I really have a lot of support, until after the surgery, when everyone just sort of disappears. I have posted, asking how everyone who had surgery the same day as I did are doing. Nothing. I understand that people get busy. I understand that people get better and move on. But it doesn't stop me from feeling sad, wondering why it always seems to happen--this isn't the first time. Am I so lucky that I just happen to fall in with a group of people who, once they are better, just can't be bothered? Do they forget how terrified they were? Maybe I have abandonment issues--my mother died when I was nine, my father was an alcoholic, and not available. I dealt with physical and emotional neglect. Maybe I just want a bandster buddy, the way it seems so many people have. I read about those who have made some kind of connection and I want that. It can't be blindness, at least not on this web site, because no one can see anyone else, unless, of course, they post pictures. But that's not the same as a face-to-face meeting. Support groups I'm in do have that barrier. I have no problem dealing with that, and I'm not the kind of person who feels sorry for myself. This has happened to me enough times to make me wonder just what it is about me that causes me to fall in to this situation? Guess I just needed to write it all out.

It has happened to me three times. I'll find a great web site, like this one, connect with people who have the same surgery date as I did, February 10, feel like I really have a lot of support, until after the surgery, when everyone just sort of disappears. I have posted, asking how everyone who had surgery the same day as I did are doing. Nothing. I understand that people get busy. I understand that people get better and move on. But it doesn't stop me from feeling sad, wondering why it always seems to happen--this isn't the first time. Am I so lucky that I just happen to fall in with a group of people who, once they are better, just can't be bothered? Do they forget how terrified they were? Maybe I have abandonment issues--my mother died when I was nine, my father was an alcoholic, and not available. I dealt with physical and emotional neglect. Maybe I just want a bandster buddy, the way it seems so many people have. I read about those who have made some kind of connection and I want that. It can't be blindness, at least not on this web site, because no one can see anyone else, unless, of course, they post pictures. But that's not the same as a face-to-face meeting. Support groups I'm in do have that barrier. I have no problem dealing with that, and I'm not the kind of person who feels sorry for myself. This has happened to me enough times to make me wonder just what it is about me that causes me to fall in to this situation? Guess I just needed to write it all out.

Hi girls~ A listener, not a talker....huh! Tell my DH! Love the shoes Haydee! Heather I would love to meet you too! Laura, I do the same with the mod stuff---and I rode the fence in this disaster. I refuse to say more! LOL As for the Moms and the kids---do either of your Moms read much? Maybe a couple of books on enabling, and the written word of someone else, reiterating what you have been saying....otherwise I have no idea. My parents finally did just like Terry with my brother. He got arrested for DWI, and in the holding cell, he had a seizure, well come to find out, he had been trying to quit drinking, and with his brain injury and the detoxing, he was having seizures. He was unconcious in his truck, not passed out from alcohol. But they made the choice NOT to remove him from the charges, and allowed the charge to be changed to DUI (driving under the influence as opposed to driving while intoxicated) which could cover driving while taking Tylenol even! It caused him to get a mandatory jail sentence of 28 days, and he could receive medical aid while detoxing. They knew he wanted to quit, but with the brain injury, it messes with his short term memory, and makes quitting harder than even normal. They thought with 28 days sobriety, maybe it would "take". It did, he has been sober for many years now. But it was hard, my parents both aged seriously, visiting their son in jail was not something they ever planned to do. But it was better than visiting him at the funeral home, or in prison from causing an accident that hurt someone else or killed him. Hard choices, but worth it. BTW Laura, I am sending you a PM with info on Gone4ever. She met up with you for the formula. She just got a cancer diagnosis, and is facing a really hard time. Another weekend of wood cutting coming up, then WE are done. Still have to haul for the in laws. NOT a happy subject with me. What's new??!!! DS had an accident today----he got ticketed, and he says it was not his fault, so guess he will fight it in court. Stressed us for awhile. Well I am off to bed. See you all soon.

Take an alcoholics stance on this--take it day to day. It's very important that you don't move your diet ahead any faster then the doctor tells you to. That being said, after 7 days or so on clear liquid--call them (if you haven't already had a follow up by then) and ask them if you can have more at that point. You have to give yourself time to heal. I was pretty hungry by day 3 or so also. I know the feeling, most of us here do. Try very hard to keep yourself busy, do light housework around the house, paint something, take the dog for lots of walks, do something to keep your mind off your stomach Good luck dear

It takes a bit of getting used to. The 1st fill can be a dramatic difference. I remember losing 5kgs in a w/e after a fill. Unfortunately, I was partying, not eating & drinking a bit of alcohol. I nearly dehydrated, but woke up to what was going on. This is where the REALLY conscious intake part of your life begins. Don't worry tho, it's easy to adapt. You might hit a few bumps in the road. I'm 7yrs post banding & I still occasionally find myself 'stuck' or stuggling & don't know why. I'm excited for you, cause I know you're going through the 'wow' stage-losing & feeling fantastic about it. If you struggle with water & cant drink a litre of fluid in a day, then you're too tight & need to go back & have a little let out. Good luck, & happy days!

Janet, sounds like a crap day. I agree, a little tough love is in order. He'll live without the phone and the car. Get his own rides places or maybe this "friend" will let him drive his car. I hope he pays his own insurance. I took my son off my insurance by the age of 17 after he got in several accidents. We lost our coverage so I excluded him from the policy and he wasn't allowed to drive our cars. One thing, he always found work and made enough money to buy his own car and pay his own insurance. I also quit getting him out of bed and let him bear the consequences of those actions. I refused to do his laundry and made him drop out of school at 16 when he ditched constantly and got F's. He was in a private Christian school and I wasn't paying for F's. He went to public school for two whole weeks and started ditching and not getting up in the morning. So I researched it and had him drop out. After one year out of school he could take his GED. I made him sign a contract that he had to work full-time, go for an ADHD eval and take meds if recommended, and be back in school, or working towards his GED by 18 or he was out of the house. He lasted 1 semester before begging to go back to the Christian school. I wouldn't enroll him till he paid me $300, $50 for each class. I told him he'd get nothing back on F's, $25 on D's, and $50 on C's and above. On the day the semester started he finally handed me the money. He eventually got back all but $50. Eventually, when they wouldn't let him graduate with his class because he had too many credits to make up, and he was ditching school again, and I didn't know it, but his father had been telling him he was planning on leaving me, I had him study for his GED in the state where he'd dropped out (we lived on state line in Indiana). They didn't know he'd been attending in Illinois. He took the GED while on his ADHD meds and passed with such a high score he made the Albert Einstein Society and got a college scholarship. He ended up with a degree in marketing. It took him 5 years to get thru college and the last year I gave him $5000 from the sale of my house and told him he was on his own. I was getting remarried and he wasn't living with me anymore. One of my better decisions. I had no guilt and didn't have to put up with his assinine behavior anymore. (He is an alcoholic, though a very high functioning one.) He is now over 30, married, and has a little girl he adores. He owns his own home and has a nice wife and a relatively good job. I have heard him say that being on his own was the best thing that ever happened to him. He says this like it was his own idea. He still can be a real donkey's rear end, especially around me, so I tend to see him only when there's family get-togethers. I don't see my grandaughter nearly as much as I'd like, but my mental health is more important. My other son is a whole nother story but I'll save that for another time. Cheri

Well - while we're making things public and all - just thought I'd throw something out to Mr Lapbandtalk (ALEX) Now I seem to recall you saying you weren't going to respond any further unless it was PM. But that's a chicken shit way to get in a public verbal war of words, get the last say and then state that nothing else can be said publicly. I call for an apology (multiple actually - although I'm afraid there are probably more needed than I will currently remember) If you hope to redeem any sense of public dignity (not that I expect you to care - but let's imagine for a second that you might care what impression you are leaving on new people coming to your cash cow for the first time) I believe an apology is due to Lulu for your statement regarding her attitude. I also believe you owe an apology to myself for your callous and insensitive remark pertaining to the size of my alcoholic beverage that night and to the fact that you suggest we should have one. Furthermore you should retract your words regarding my language being "combative" - oh forgive me for daring to voice opposition to the poorly made and personal vendetta based decisions of people doing your bidding - this is a free country and a public site - it is my right. Unlike some of the responses coming from some at LBT - I at least had evidence for the points I made. Not that I expect an answer - but I'm putting it out there for all to see!

I had my banding surgery on Sept 21 - 3 days ago. I feel pretty good. The pain/discomfort has subsided and I'm following the liquid intake recommendations pretty strictly. I'm hopeful I'll be able to go back to wotk in 4-5 days. My main challenge is going to be smoking. I gave up pre surgery but finally relented and have had 1 today. I have read that it can interfere/slow down healing, which makes sense. I just don't know if I can give up proper food, alcohol AND smoking without going totally insane this week. Anyhow, good luck to all considering it. So far it has been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster for me, but I am very relieved to have done it & now the banding is done the hardest part is over.

What about sugar intake? My nutritionist says to not consume any food with more than 5-7 grams of sugar per serving (watch those sugar alcohols too). And absolutely no sugary drinks. Just my .02. :tongue2: