Search the Community

Program Coordinator/Senior Case Manager of a Foster Youth Program. I am also a Drug and Alcohol Counselor with a specialty in co-occuring Mental Health Disorders.

Yesterday, Day 21, I had 1 egg, 2 veggie patties for brunch and 1 oz beef tenderloin, 3 stuffed mushroom caps, some cheese and like a slice of summer sausage through the night. I also had a few sips of alcohol. It was my companies holiday party and I had a blast. We has some games too and I ran around like a crazy person and didn't hurt today. Still managed to stay under in Carbs, but didn't hit my Protein... Cal: 714 Carbs: 28.5 Prot: 41.75 Today: Day 22 post op scale Moved again! Yeah! Breakfast: 2 Scrambled Egg w/Cheese Snack: 40g Isopure Snack: 1 string cheese Lunch: chicken salad Snack: Crystal light Popsicle Dinner: 1 srv Stove Top Bake Water throughout the day. Cal: 867 Carbs: 32.5 Prot: 87.88 End of Day Observation: Felt like I ate A LOT today. Need to start working out tomorrow! Later everyone!

I'm a little confused about the pre-op diet. Everything I've read says that liver fat from non-alcoholic means (NASH) can and should only be reduced by losing weight very slowly, such as 1-2 pounds/week or 5-10% of body weight over a period of months and so as not to hurt the liver. If the pre-op is meant to empty the intestines and bowel, then I can see more of a relationship between the diet and ease of surgery. I'd really appreciate it if someone could tell me where I can find studies on how rapid weight loss is positively correlated with a decrease in liver size for bariatric or any type of surgery. Thanks very much. I know there must be another side of the story but I can't find the data. Thanks again!

Last night was my first real social situation since I had my surgery. We're a military family, and since we're away from our familes, our little group of friends become our family. Last night we went to hang out with our usual group of friends. This lady is an entertainer. She has the best food in the whole world. And she's such a hostess. For "snacks" she had chips and dip, fruit and dip, hot wings, pizza (yes, as a snack). And the alcohol flows freely, including my favorite beverage...chiltons...(vodka, lemon, soda water). Not to mention the dinner that she cooked (bbq chicken, macaroni salad, hotdogs for the kids, rice). Now, to the abundance of infantry guys hanging around, they can eat all of that crap and it be NO problem. After all, almost none of them have a weight problem and they all run like 8 miles everyday. However, to Miss Lapband over here...it was just temptation sitting right in front of me. lol I did good though. I didn't snack. I drank a ton of water. I ate a healthy piece of baked chicken. And I woke up this morning on weigh-in day and was down 3 pounds from last week! Yes! But thinking about my weight loss journey so far has made me realize how bad my eating habits were before. Before, I wouldn't have hesitated to eat those yummy doritos with ranch dip, and her macaroni salad is to die for! And I would had 2-3 chiltons, plus maybe a vodka and cranberry juice. I would have snacked on the pizza and had 2 pieces of chicken. I see it at home too. I stand up and go to the kitchen and look in the pantry and look for something to eat. I end up not eating anything because I know it's just habit and not because I'm really hungry. I eat 3 meals daily (small portions) and a snack. And that's plenty! To date I've lost 25 pounds. I got off track when I went back to eating solid food and gained about 2 pounds back, but now I'm headed in the right direction. Right toward goal.

Last night was my first real social situation since I had my surgery. We're a military family, and since we're away from our familes, our little group of friends become our family. Last night we went to hang out with our usual group of friends. This lady is an entertainer. She has the best food in the whole world. And she's such a hostess. For "snacks" she had chips and dip, fruit and dip, hot wings, pizza (yes, as a snack). And the alcohol flows freely, including my favorite beverage...chiltons...(vodka, lemon, soda water). Not to mention the dinner that she cooked (bbq chicken, macaroni salad, hotdogs for the kids, rice). Now, to the abundance of infantry guys hanging around, they can eat all of that crap and it be NO problem. After all, almost none of them have a weight problem and they all run like 8 miles everyday. However, to Miss Lapband over here...it was just temptation sitting right in front of me. lol I did good though. I didn't snack. I drank a ton of water. I ate a healthy piece of baked chicken. And I woke up this morning on weigh-in day and was down 3 pounds from last week! Yes! But thinking about my weight loss journey so far has made me realize how bad my eating habits were before. Before, I wouldn't have hesitated to eat those yummy doritos with ranch dip, and her macaroni salad is to die for! And I would had 2-3 chiltons, plus maybe a vodka and cranberry juice. I would have snacked on the pizza and had 2 pieces of chicken. I see it at home too. I stand up and go to the kitchen and look in the pantry and look for something to eat. I end up not eating anything because I know it's just habit and not because I'm really hungry. I eat 3 meals daily (small portions) and a snack. And that's plenty! To date I've lost 25 pounds. I got off track when I went back to eating solid food and gained about 2 pounds back, but now I'm headed in the right direction. Right toward goal.

Alcohol is also legal, but I don't have a problem with people having to be off of drugs to receive benefits. You can't allow someone with a criminal record to live with you if you live in section 8 housing and I'm fine with that, too. In Connecticut, and I'm sure other states as well, if a welfare recipient worked, the amount of money they made when they worked was subtracted from their welfare benefits. Now, why would anyone work? That doesn't make sense. So, when they changed the law, more people had an incentive to work. I support these common sense changes. But I don't support eliminating the programs because some abuse it. And when the republicans were in power they could have set the wheels in motion to reduce these programs over time and they didn't. Yes, it would have been hard but that shouldn't have swayed them.

Patty: Originally Posted by jessress87 Well, I must say this thread has got me thinking... and thinking... and thinking....... I'm also very frustrated that after all this thinking I can't come to a firm conclusion. When asked if I am pro-life or pro-choice my knee-jerk reaction is to say pro-life. I would answer pro-life because I personally would not have an abortion (unless my life is being threatened by the early pregnancy). I will tell you right now that my answer on the poll was that I am pro-life except in cases where the life of the mother is threatened. But I read and read and read some more and have to admit that I swayed a little bit when I considered that I too do not want the government to take over my choices. What might they do next? Do I believe that abortion is morally wrong? In most cases yes- but who am I to judge? For someone who doesn't believe that a life is being taken it would not be morally wrong- it's all relative. And just because I beleive it's wrong doesn't mean that belief should be forced on EVERYONE. Why not, Jess? People have many differing beliefs about all the laws we have. Beliefs of all kinds are forced on people everywhere with all our laws. My son feels there is absolutely nothing wrong with smoking pot. He says it's not as bad as alcohol is. Yet, the laws force him to smoke in hiding. I think that the whole issue is that no one can come to an agreement about whether or not it's murder. If it was black and white, like some might consider smoking pot (I've never smoked pot nor really knew anyone personally so I can't say I know what kind of ill effects it has- but I take its being illegal is due to the facts of it's obvious ((or not so obvious to me,) negative effects). I just don't want it to get to the point where the government starts forcing more and more of their beliefs on me. Armed robbey is wrong, rape is wrong, assault is wrong, therefore no one (that I know of) has any objection to these things being illegl. However, not all people consider abortion to be murder because not all people believe that an 8 wk fetus is a baby. I do, but not everyone else does. So until the scientific community can come up with a determination that this fetus, at this stage is technically a human being, whether or not it's 'murder' will always be a gray area. I do, however, cringe at the stories of women who have had 4, 5, or 6 abortions- have you ever heard of birth control? I do realize that it isn't always 100% effective but it's definitely more effective than nothing at all! I think that one of the things that really bothers me about abortions is that I know more than a few women who have suffered miscarriages or who have not been able to have children. I feel like it's so unfair that someone who didn't want it (or for whatever reason chose abortion) would be blessed with such a gift when there are women that want it desperately that haven't been able. I have another dilemma from the analogy provided earlier about if exterminating the Jewish was legal. (sorry, I know this is inflammatory but I can see its relevance)I knowthis is just hypothetical but in this situation, how could I just say, 'well I'm not going to participate but I'm also not going to do anything about it. I know it's not the same thing, but still. On the other hand, abortion is legal and I'm not going to go around harassing people about their choice. I'm not going to go to abortion clinics or campaign or anything against it, but when asked how I feel about the legalization of it, I will alwys give my strong response to anyone that I am totally against the killings that this country allows daily. I can appreciate that. You are most certainly entitled to your opinion, as everyone else is, and you absolutely should feel free to express a strong response against something you disagree with, as long as that strong response isn't throwing pigs blood on young women coming out of an abortion clinic . (Totally kidding, btw- you seem like a reasonable lady, I'm sure you wouldn't do that) I think that in order for something to be called murder there has to be mallicious intent. I don't think that every woman having an abortion is saying 'take that, fetus!'. I'm sure it's a very, very difficult situation for most (except for maybe those who seem to use it as birth control). But I also do believe that some form of life begins at conception. I do agree that women who have abortions are not thinking that they are murdering anyone. They are focused on their 'problem' and want it to go away. But it is a fact that they are murdering none the less. It's all relative. I brought this subject up to my fiancee last night and I must say that I was VERY surprised at his response. I asked him if he thought an abortion would be acceptable under any circumstance. He said no. I said, 'what if the mother's life was in danger,' he said no. If it's God's will for you to die in order for your child to live, it's your time.' This scares me. I have to say that if a doctor was telling me that I AM going to die if I don't have an abortion, I think I would have to. Am I being selfish? I don't want to die. I don't want my baby to die either. I try to think about it this way: my 6 wk old fetus is a tiny, comfy, content life. He doesn't know anything yet. He hasn't seen anything yet. But I have. I've seen corn blowing in a breezy summer night. I've experienced true love. I've made sacrifices. I've made mistakes. I've been disappointed. I've been elated. I would never get to see my mom, my dad, my brothers, grandparents, nieces, nephews again. Which of us would be more valuable to humanity? I can't answer that question- again, maybe I'm just being selfish. I believe that every person has a right to defend themselves. If she is going to die from carrying and delivering her baby, then, and only then, should she be able to live by aborting her own death sentence. I know that other pro-life people do not agree with this view, but I believe it is the right one. I agree :frown: I do consider myself a non-religious Christian, which in itself is something I'm sure some people would have a problem with. Definitely not me. I do not like 'religion'. I prefer people to have a personal relationship with God, one on one, without the interference of organizations and their made up rules and ideas. That is refreshing to see. I feel a lot of judgment sometimes for feeling that way. I am of the belief that Jesus died for my sins. I think that says it all right there. We are all sinners- that's why Jesus died for us. I believe that you should try to be kind to others, I believe that you should help somebody if you can, I believe that you should try to be tolerant when dealing with someone who has different beliefs than yourself. When I get ticked off at a bad driver, or a cranky cashier just as I reach the point of irritation I try to remind myself that I don't know what happened to that person today. They're grandpa may have just died. They could be going through a rough divorce. I know that the day I found out my Dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer I was out of sorts, I hope no one would hold that against me. (They caught it early, he did some extensive radiation and is now doing great (knock on wood! Thank you Lord!)) I believe that Jesus loves us all, despite our sins. I don't believe that in order to have a relationship with God you have to attend Church every Sunday and Wednesday and doing so doesn't automatically make you a 'good person' it doesn't make you a bad person either. Just like I would never peg someone with different beliefs as me as a 'bad person,' it's not my place to judge. I feel like we should always try to be understanding and treat others with respect. I'm not saying I've been perfect with this, but who is? I agree.

I agree - either lactose, sugar alcohols or artificial sweeteners. Do you eat any other "sugar free" foods? Do you have bad reactions with them? I do not do well with any of those, so avoid them all (incld Splenda). I am using a protein powder called About Time. You have to order it online and it isn't cheap. It is naturally sweetened and is 100% whey protein isolate. I haven't had any problems with it all. Good luck!

Obamacare must lead to medical care rationing. Despite the democratic rhetoric, the government (taxpayer) will be unable to afford basic treatment for everyone, let alone the lavish care most Americans expect to get for free. Those to be denied first will be the aged and the chronically and terminally ill (poor bang for the buck). After that, the U.S. Dept. of Wellness will exclude people with self-inflicted illnesses, beginning with smokers and fatties. Based on what's happening in England, drinkers should also expect to be on the short list for denial. The cash-strapped National Health Service spent $4.4 Billion in the last fiscal year treating patients for drink-related ailments or injuries. Admitting they no longer can afford to subsidise Britians growing binge-drinking culture, a consequence of the sloth and idleness that comes with socialism, NHS officials promised to help HC providers "deal with" the mounting medical bills related to alcohol use and abuse. The clear implications is the NHS is moving towards defunding the coverage and redefining universal care as medicine for everyone whom politicians and government beaurocrats deem deserving. Imagine what our government will start denying us fatties if they are in control of our HC?

addiction talk....."You had a relapse." When we relapse with food, we get the same feelings of failure, incompetent, guilt and depression as a drug or alcohol addict would after trying so hard to JUST STOP! The wonderful and blessed thing is that we do have these tools that can help in getting back into our recovery from food that has taken control over us...once again. Good Luck

We have a hard enough time trying to get the laws to support the abolishing of the murders that go on with abortions, never mind trying to figure out if someone intentionally killed their baby with drugs or overeating or alcohol. Let's stick with the abortion issue. Just so you know how I feel about your question, it's yes. If she intentionally does drugs or drinks alcohol in hopes to kill her baby, then she is attempting murder.

Net Carbs is Total Carbs minus the amount of Fiber and the amount of sugar alcohols. Total Carbs is all the carbs in the product. Net Carbs subtracts the carbs that are less likely to cause a reaction with your blood sugar. Hope this helps.

1. Do you FEEL the LAP-BAND around your stomach? Does it feel tight or uncomfortable? Not at all, unless food is stuck, then I am oh so aware of it. But I don't feel the band itself. 2. I think giving up soda will be really hard. WHY must it be done? I still sip it from time to time, I like the taste. But it sometimes gives me hiccups. It has no nutritional value. I have also read that diet soda can trigger hunger, who wants that? 3. What is the purpose of the liquid diet pre-surgery? And post? Pre-op: To shrink the liver, and make the surgery easier on your body. Post-op: To aid in healing, your stomach does not need to work as hard. 4. Did your insurance company cover the procedure? How long did the pre-auth take? Did you have to do psych evals, etc? My insurance did cover it. With all the hoops needed, it took about 5-6 months. Yes, psych eval was required, a no biggie. 15 minute talk to show I knew what the procedure was and possible complications. He also wanted to be sure I understood it was not a quick fix or miracle cure. 5. The port - does it physically bother you? Can you see it initially, after losing, etc? My husband is kinda freaked out about it.... High waisted pants bother it. The scar is visible. If I got really thin, I expect the port would be visible, but not now. I understand that there is a low profile port that some people have installed. 6. Does getting a fill hurt? Or does it feel like getting a flu shot / giving blood? Not at all like giving blood. I get a numbing shot with a very small needle. After that, I feel a slight "pop" when the huber needle enters the port. It is nothing to be afraid of at all. 7. Do you have restrictions with taking pills? I.e. is Tylenol still effective, does it digest regularly, etc. Big pills sometimes go down a little sticky. Small pills no worries. Yes, they digest as usual. Food also digests as it used to. As a side note, my surgeon advised me to not use anti-inflamatory drugs on a regular basis. 8. What about drinking alcohol? Is it OK occassionally? I have no troubles with it. Even have beer sometimes, same issue as with soda, hiccups. But as the previous poster said, empty calories. Defeats the purpose of having the band, so I limit the amount. Thanks!! You are welcome! There is lots of info here, read and learn! Denise

1. Do you FEEL the LAP-BAND® around your stomach? Does it feel tight or uncomfortable? - NO 2. I think giving up soda will be really hard. WHY must it be done? CARBONATION DOESN'T AGREE WITH THE BAND - IT MAKES YOU FEEL BLOATED - 3. What is the purpose of the liquid diet pre-surgery? And post? PRE-SHRINK YOUR LIVER - POST - HEALING 4. Did your insurance company cover the procedure? How long did the pre-auth take? Did you have to do psych evals, etc? YES 2 WEEKS AND YES 5. The port - does it physically bother you? Can you see it initially, after losing, etc? My husband is kinda freaked out about it.... PORT SITE HURT THE MOST RIGHT AFTER SURGERY - MINE STICKS OUT A LITTLE NO BIGGIE 6. Does getting a fill hurt? Or does it feel like getting a flu shot / giving blood? MY DOC NUMBS ME PRIOR TO FILL SO NO IT DOESN'T HURT 7. Do you have restrictions with taking pills? I.e. is Tylenol still effective, does it digest regularly, etc. - YOU ARE INSTRUCTED TO TAKE LIQ TYLENOL - SMALL PILLS AREN'T A PROBLEM FOR ME - I CAN EVEN TAKE TYLENOL CAPLETS - IT DEPENDS ON YOUR RESTRICTION AND SIZE OF PILL 8. What about drinking alcohol? Is it OK occassionally? YES - I DRINK OCCASSIONALLY - BUT REMEMBER EMPTY CALORIES.. The Band is only a tool - you have to change your eating habits for life and add physical activity to your life. Good luck on your journey

7. Do you have restrictions with taking pills? I.e. is Tylenol still effective, does it digest regularly, etc. 8. What about drinking alcohol? Is it OK occassionally?

Both weight watchers and stoufers, make exactly what you are talking about - healthy??who knows.. they are sugar free, un sure of fat content and cals, too many can also cause loose stoole since it is made with sugar alcohols.

I love all the positive reinforcement from you guys.....I'll be having my surgery in NYC on a Wed. I work from home, so I'm hoping to be back at work on the following monday. I'm planning on not scheduling any travel or client visits for at least the first week and maybe the 2nd week too, if I can help it.... The one unfortunate thing I'm finding is - I'm counting the days to pre-op and trying to get in all my larger portions of candy, ice cream, Pasta and alcohol!..... I attempted to have the lap band 2 years ago and did the exact same thing....I continued to have my last suppers for a week. Had the surgery, but they were unsuccesful in actually placing the band due to excessive scar tissue...My new surgeon claims he will have no problem with the sleeve, but you never know... All these last meals and drinks are not what the doctor ordered, but I just can't help but feel like I need to overindulge right now.....

Might be reflux developing (citrus, spices, alcohol, etc. make the burning worse). It's a very common banding side effect so keep an eye on things.

So everyone says (including my surgeon) not to drink for 30-60mins after eating because it washes the food out of the pouch into the larger part of the stomache....but I can't stop drinking! It's usually Water or milk, (I don't do alcohol or sodas) and that, by far, has been the hardest habit to break after being banded. I've been told to ask the waitresses at resturants to not bring you a drink at all, but what about when you're home? Drinking water is an obsession of mine or something...I can't not drink...lol I know I'm sabotageing my own weight loss by doing this...so help me! How can I stop?

Current Mood: Hopeful:thumbup: My last blog entry was about how much I drank (and ate) over the holidays and the fear of getting on the scale. After New Year's I went back on the program and finally screwed up the courage to get on the scale on Monday, 1/4. As the title says, it was some very unexpected good news! I'd previously suspected about a 4 pound gain but I was wrong. Instead, I have lost about 15 pounds since my fill on 12/3. Wow! 15 pounds over the holidays and I wasn't actually following the plan very closely. I still think I eat too much in one sitting but I definitely feel some restriction and if I eat too fast (usually bread) I get a horrible pain that takes a minute or two to go away. At least when that happens, I have to stop eating. For the new year, my resolution is to make better food choices, avoid too much alcohol and finally get to the YMCA to sign up for the free (for members) personal fitness program. Other thoughts: 1) I got back in touch with a friend from 25 years ago via Facebook. Hopefully by the time I see her again,I will weigh less than I did in 1984. 2) My skin is squishy already. Man am I going to need some serious plastic surgery after this. 3) I love cooking and am considering it as a new career which is sort of funny for someone who has food and weight issues. I realized the reason I love cooking is the appreciation of those eating my good food not because I want to eat it all myself. As Martha Stewart would say, "this is a good thing." 4) I wonder how much weight I need to lose to go down one size in pants. I have been wearing the same size (even when they were so tight I could barely move) for the last 31 lbs and they are getting loose, finally. 5) If I could just win Mega Millions...

Current Mood: Hopeful:thumbup: My last blog entry was about how much I drank (and ate) over the holidays and the fear of getting on the scale. After New Year's I went back on the program and finally screwed up the courage to get on the scale on Monday, 1/4. As the title says, it was some very unexpected good news! I'd previously suspected about a 4 pound gain but I was wrong. Instead, I have lost about 15 pounds since my fill on 12/3. Wow! 15 pounds over the holidays and I wasn't actually following the plan very closely. I still think I eat too much in one sitting but I definitely feel some restriction and if I eat too fast (usually bread) I get a horrible pain that takes a minute or two to go away. At least when that happens, I have to stop eating. For the new year, my resolution is to make better food choices, avoid too much alcohol and finally get to the YMCA to sign up for the free (for members) personal fitness program. Other thoughts: 1) I got back in touch with a friend from 25 years ago via Facebook. Hopefully by the time I see her again,I will weigh less than I did in 1984. 2) My skin is squishy already. Man am I going to need some serious plastic surgery after this. 3) I love cooking and am considering it as a new career which is sort of funny for someone who has food and weight issues. I realized the reason I love cooking is the appreciation of those eating my good food not because I want to eat it all myself. As Martha Stewart would say, "this is a good thing." 4) I wonder how much weight I need to lose to go down one size in pants. I have been wearing the same size (even when they were so tight I could barely move) for the last 31 lbs and they are getting loose, finally. 5) If I could just win Mega Millions...

I could bore you with the "I’ve been fat all my life..." story and sadly its true but I won’t. Instead I will start this "journey" of blogging with my epiphany. I am not fat because I am depressed; I am depressed because I am fat. I am a fit woman in a fat suit!:thumbup: I thought about it long and hard. I have issues looking into mirrors, not because I don’t like what I see, and sometimes I don’t, but because I don’t recognize what I see. In my minds eye I am thinner. In all (ALL) my dreams I am thinner. I look at a space and see that I should be able fit, and in my mind I do but I physically don’t. I see myself in clothing that just doesn’t fit my body type. That’s what makes this so hard. I just don’t feel like I belong in my skin. I can relater to transgender people. I feel like there is a mistake, Im not supposed to have all this extra weight. I’m supposed to be thinner. I feel like a failure. :frown:That’s how I beat myself up! I tell myself that I don’t deserve something that I have worked SOO hard to earn but I still feel that I am worthy. I work out, and 3-5 days a week I don’t eat much, similar to what size portions that I would have should I have a LAP-BAND®. But its that 2-3 days that kill me. I eat “normal” portions, or eat because I’m bored, Sad, angry, PMS-ing… ect. you know the drill. My DR 15 years ago explained it as I go through “starvation” mode and my body holds on to every cal it can. That means even if I diet, the week after I stop I will gain it all back on! I am an odd ball I love to work out. I love the rush I feel after. I forget to go to the gym. I make excuses like I don’t have childcare, I’m not going to get any sleep yadda yadda yadda. (I work overnights so it is difficult on days when I don’t have childcare) I have always thought that I can do this! All I need to do is go to the gym. I would dream of an event, for example my graduation, and would say OK it’s a month away. I could easily loose 30lbs in a month. I just have to … then I would “fall off the wagon” one meal, then that would turn into one day ect. That would depress me to the point I would not only give up but I would hate the event. :cursing:Sometimes even cancel (things like a trip to the beach or vacation to Puerto Rico) It was very recent that I have even thought about the LAP-BAND®. Mom has been pushing this on me forever, always saying that she wishes she qualified to have it done. I had always turned her down as well as the idea because after all the DR said my issue was not that I ate too much but that I often didn’t eat enough. It all happened the day that I talked to the Girl Scout leader. She had gastric bypass. This was not a surgery though for someone who loves to work out. I told her my “problem” and she said that was her problem too.:wink: Her Dr said that this will make you hungry when you forget to eat, and will restrict the meals you DO eat. So I looked into it. I searched many message boards and read a few blogs to see if there was anything that would be a deal breaker. No alcohol, :Banane34:I don’t drink. No smoking, I don’t smoke. No carbonation, until a few months ago I didn’t drink soda. No caffeine, now this one may kill me,:smile2: I am addicted to my espressos but I guess that if I lost the weight and had energy I wouldn’t need them, and the occasional decaf coffee for taste maybe. (though I can’t stand decafL) there isn’t much else that I could think of that would keep me from getting it done except that fact for me (and I stress for ME not you!) it feels like Im throwing in the towel. I feel like I cant do it any other way I guess I have to get banded. Here is the catch, although there is a mandate in IN for insurances to cover bariatric surgeries, My insurance does not cover it. :thumbup: So there is road block number 1. I did find out that I am on Medicaid. So I guess that will cover it (I know the Medicaid insurance covers it but I always feel guilty for having it and even more for using it.) Now all I need to do id get a surgeon to look at me and call me a candidate! I will update you all later so for now Keep Dreaming Some Dreams Come True!

I could bore you with the "I’ve been fat all my life..." story and sadly its true but I won’t.:thumbup: Instead I will start this "journey" of blogging with my epiphany. I am not fat because I am depressed; I am depressed because I am fat. I am a fit woman in a fat suit!:thumbup: I thought about it long and hard. I have issues looking into mirrors, not because I don’t like what I see, and sometimes I don’t, but because I don’t recognize what I see. In my minds eye I am thinner. In all (ALL) my dreams I am thinner. I look at a space and see that I should be able fit, and in my mind I do but I physically don’t. I see myself in clothing that just doesn’t fit my body type. That’s what makes this so hard. I just don’t feel like I belong in my skin. I can relater to transgender people. I feel like there is a mistake, Im not supposed to have all this extra weight. I’m supposed to be thinner. I feel like a failure. :frown:That’s how I beat myself up! I tell myself that I don’t deserve something that I have worked SOO hard to earn but I still feel that I am worthy. I work out, and 3-5 days a week I don’t eat much, similar to what size portions that I would have should I have a LAP-BAND®. But its that 2-3 days that kill me. I eat “normal” portions, or eat because I’m bored, Sad, angry, PMS-ing… ect. you know the drill. My DR 15 years ago explained it as I go through “starvation” mode and my body holds on to every cal it can. That means even if I diet, the week after I stop I will gain it all back on! I am an odd ball I love to work out. I love the rush I feel after. I forget to go to the gym. I make excuses like I don’t have childcare, I’m not going to get any sleep yadda yadda yadda. (I work overnights so it is difficult on days when I don’t have childcare) I have always thought that I can do this! All I need to do is go to the gym. I would dream of an event, for example my graduation, and would say OK it’s a month away. I could easily loose 30lbs in a month. I just have to … then I would “fall off the wagon” one meal, then that would turn into one day ect. That would depress me to the point I would not only give up but I would hate the event. :cursing:Sometimes even cancel (things like a trip to the beach or vacation to Puerto Rico) It was very recent that I have even thought about the LAP-BAND®. Mom has been pushing this on me forever, always saying that she wishes she qualified to have it done. I had always turned her down as well as the idea because after all the DR said my issue was not that I ate too much but that I often didn’t eat enough. It all happened the day that I talked to the Girl Scout leader. She had gastric bypass. This was not a surgery though for someone who loves to work out. I told her my “problem” and she said that was her problem too.:wink: Her Dr said that this will make you hungry when you forget to eat, and will restrict the meals you DO eat. So I looked into it. I searched many message boards and read a few blogs to see if there was anything that would be a deal breaker. No alcohol, :Banane34:I don’t drink. No smoking,:biggrin: I don’t smoke. No carbonation, until a few months ago I didn’t drink soda. No caffeine, now this one may kill me,:thumbup: I am addicted to my espressos but I guess that if I lost the weight and had energy I wouldn’t need them, and the occasional decaf coffee for taste maybe. (though I can’t stand decafL) there isn’t much else that I could think of that would keep me from getting it done except that fact for me (and I stress for ME not you!) it feels like Im throwing in the towel. I feel like I cant do it any other way I guess I have to get banded. Here is the catch, although there is a mandate in IN for insurances to cover bariatric surgeries, My insurance does not cover it. :thumbup: So there is road block number 1. I did find out that I am on Medicaid. So I guess that will cover it (I know the Medicaid insurance covers it but I always feel guilty for having it and even more for using it.) Now all I need to do id get a surgeon to look at me and call me a candidate! I will update you all later so for now Keep Dreaming Some Dreams Come True! :thumbup:

I'm 21 days out since my surgery. I haven't drank any soda, too afraid of possible pain or messing up my band, which I paid for myself. I don't drink alcohol at all, but I do know others do, but in moderation, as they are empty calories. How weird that your doctor does your fills by the amount of weight you lose! Mine does it based on my hunger level. I've eaten tiny bites of a Pillsbury crescent roll, maybe 1/4 of one roll. I've had 1/2 slice whole grain bread, well toasted. I've had a tiny bit of tortilla. I've eaten turkey, chicken, ham, beef meatballs, pot roast, without problems so far. I cut them into tiny pieces and chew the heck out of them. I haven't tried steak or pork yet. I haven't had any issues yet with something being stuck (except perhaps one of my antibiotics that I didn't cut in half), but I definitely do feel full with around 3/4 to one cup of food, sometimes less. I expect once I get my first fills, that will change. Good luck!