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Don’t give up! You have made it so far and should be very proud of yourself! I had to do 6 months of weight-ins too and I will tell you the last two months go by pretty quickly.

My biggest irrational fear was that somehow - even after all that - I STILL wouldn't be able to lose weight. P.S. I am losing weight

It's good that he will be there for you anyway. For many of us, the health problems (heart attack, diabetes, stroke, sleep apnea, inability to exercise, knee/hip replacement, asthma issues and more) associated with being overweight long-term are so much more extreme than the only medical solution proven to help us get to and stay at a healthy weight. I thought it was a little humorous that he said he could not imagine having 20% of his stomach. I thought—well, he won't have to imagine—he can ask you how it feels, and you will tell him. Also- no one seems to be interested in how it feels health-wise to be overweight. (Perhaps your husband is the positive exception here, but in my experience, most people are quick to talk about the surgery and how horrific the idea is, but not how horrific it is to have a heart attack at a young age, or any other obesity-related health problem. ) Literally no one would say, "Gee, don't you think quadruple bypass surgery is extreme? I can't imagine having my heart surgically altered". But weight loss surgery is a medical necessity for some and a hope of prevention for others. It can be truly life-saving. Not that you need to hear that, because you already know it. But he should probably hear it. It sounds like he might come around in the end, and I wish you both the best. I'm mostly writing this for others whose spouses may need some help understanding the medical nature of the procedure.

I have similar fears that have been expressed by others; complications during or after surgery, being successful in losing weight, being successful maintaining the weight loss & keeping up with protein water & vitamins. My surgery is on the 26th, and my plan is to have my husband at the hospital with me before surgery, and during the surgery he will be in the waiting room or go get something to eat. Then hopefully, he will be there when I get up to my room just to help me settle in. I don't want him to be there all day, and that way he can get home to our little ones and dog. (My sister, parents, & nephew are helping with the kids & dog while I am in the hospital and the beginning of recovery [I won't be able to lift my daughter (20 months)]💗) Then the plan is for him to return before discharge the next day. Hopefully, hearing what other people did, or think they will do, helps you make a plan that you are comfortable with, so it is one less thing on your mind.😉😁 Wishing you well with your surgery on the 8th!

I agree with the others. I was a lower BMI too and I am losing it much slower than the average poster on here but it has been 4.5 months and the scale still keeps slowly creeping down. The important thing is that it is going down. This is a very effective tool. If you are using it correctly it will work. (That’s hard for many of us to believe After so many failed weight loss attempts in the past but you just have to trust the process).

I lost 16 lbs the first month and started at over 300 lbs. You've lost 11 and started at 211 lbs. Your loss seems very normal. You are starting at a much lower weight than the average WLS patient, so you're not going to lose as quickly. I think you are doing fine!

Another thing that might help is to watch you tube videos by dr wiener. He explains how the weight loss surgery is different than a diet and how our “set point” lowers after surgery making is more likely to lose it and to keep it off. Maybe you can show him parts of those videos to help explain why regular dieting doesn’t work once you get past a certain weight.

For anyone who has a spouse that is not on board, have you tried bringing them with you to your appointments. Perhaps meeting the surgeon and even the psychiatrist could help you talk to them to help them understand that this isn’t a decision you are jumping into lightly. What are they afraid of? For me, I feel like my marriage is getting even better but I was thin when my husband and I met and he has always been thin so I am more able to do all the things we used to do together but I didn’t enjoy as much recently because of the weight. I just hate to see any marriage end over a surgery. At least not without trying everything to help them understand how life is different for us when thin and heavier and all the ways weight impacts us. I just know that some people on here have posted that had concerned spouses and taking them to their appointments did help (others it did not but it could be worth a try). okay now I read that some prefer not to bring them to their appointments. I missed that post earlier.

Here are some articles that might help him understand the science, including the fact that it isn't fully understood yet and is multifactorial. https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/unexpected-clues-emerge-about-why-diets-fail/ https://www.vox.com/science-and-health/2017/12/7/16587316/bariatric-surgery-weight-loss-lap-band ... let me know if you need more articles. There is the other thing : people in societal groups that are favored (dudes, thin people, youth, the wealthy, the physically well etc...without getting too far into the politics of this) don't have to see things from a non-favored person's perspective (women, overweight people, people over 40, poor people, the infirm, etc...) because they are the recipients of most of society's advantages. In short, they are not forced to understand the other side. We are forced to, so we end up seeing things from both perspectives—the dominat, favored one because it is forced in our faces every day and our own because it is our reality in the face of that. Thin/fit people who love us need to aspire to a true medical understanding of the issue. (it would be great if dudes would likewise attempt to form a more educated understanding of women's historical struggle but let's not get too ambitious) Granted, this seems difficult, even for some of our own physicians, but we must reach for it, or we will never see it realized. Thin people also have to understand that obesity is a medical issue that has causes that are genetic, metabolic, hormonal, environmental. So perhaps giving him some articles to read might help. If they don't-- his resistance is not really about that. Good luck with this and keep us posted. We are with you!

Good post since I think we can all relate. I'm a few weeks away and am also experiencing some of those feelings, both rational and irrational. I think my biggest fear is that although I have GERD with the sleeve, will I be jumping into the fire with a bypass which is a more serious procedure? Will that introduce more ongoing serious health issues? For example, will I have to remove my gallbladder as someone I know who had a bypass? What if I get a leak or sepsis or any of the other serious complications? Will I lose weight or will I fail? My main worry is... In the end, will I regret the revision to bypass?

I have never regretted my choice. I believe that my success comes down to how my team approached post-op life as learning a new lifestyle. The weight on the scale was secondary to how I was doing on the plan, how I felt, and what issues I needed help with. The RNY was a tool to support the new lifestyle. This is NOT a crash diet. Ultimately I lost about a 1/4 ton of excess weight. I've done things I never thought I wanted to do. Any WLS is forever. It's not a sprint. It's a marathon. Good luck, Tek

I had bypass in December 2020. I lost 50 lbs. prior to surgery and have lost 110 lbs. since surgery. It's worth noting that I started with a BMI of almost 54. I've struggled with my weight all of my life. Over time, I developed Type 2 diabetes (which was getting worse) and sleep apnea. Although I was fully mobile, it was becoming more and more difficult to move around. I knew should I ever need joint replacement or fall, the future would not be pretty. Somehow, my blood pressure remained normal. It has been a good decision for me. I still have 45 lbs. to lose before I would not be considered overweight. I don't know if I will ever reach that or not. My loss has slowed down, which is expected, but still trending downward. If I never lost another pound, I would be happy. Daily living is no longer a struggle. I have energy and feel well. I have been off all diabetes meds since surgery. There is no guarantee that this change will be forever but for now, diabetes is in "remission." I am on cholesterol medication and according to my PCP, will probably remain on that. I still use a CPAP although the pressure has been lowered. Whatever decision you make, my advice is go to into it as a well-educated consumer. Read, research and talk with your PCP and/or specialists. I attribute my success to a well-grounded program that did not cut corners. I hated every minute of the preparation process and hoops I was required to jump through. I vowed I would never track my food. I thought I was unlikely to start to regularly exercise. I just wanted surgery to fix my problem and I wanted it now. But I now do all of what I said I never would. And I still have work to do. Surgery is a tool that can help. But it doesn't fix your brain. If you don't actually use the tool they way it's intended, it won't work. I've found this site to be the most helpful with members providing accurate and helpful advice. Be aware of other sites. I also participate in some Facebook groups where I am amazed at the blatantly incorrect advice given. It has also made me aware that there are many programs or surgeons who will be happy to take your business but offer little preparation or long-term support.

Thank you. I am on the soft food stage finally and it is a lot easier to get my proteins in now. I struggled my first couple weeks I was worried because you see so many with higher weight loss and didn’t know what I was doing wrong.

I haven't had surgery yet, but I can tell you I have some fears too. Like, can I do this lifestyle change forever? Will I even lose weight? If I do lose weight, will I keep it off? Will I end up being sick all the time and in worse shape than I am now (and no longer able to travel!)? I can't answer how much support you'll need, but my parents are flying up to the city where I live and will stay in a hotel. Only one person will be able to come to the hospital due to COVID, and it's likely I will only stay one night, so I just will have my mom come (in case I'm indecent in my hospital gown after surgery - too bad because my dad would be better at just sitting there as I'm dozing off). From what other people have said, mostly you're just sleeping in the hospital, although some people have more pain, and whether you want company when you're in pain is sort of a personal thing. I have been in the hospital by myself a few times (not usually overnight) and it wasn't terrible, but surgery is totally new to me. I don't have any pets, but maybe you have a friend who could sit with your dog while you're in the hospital?

As @AjaSlimtone said, your starting weight is quite low, so you will not be able to lose fast, like people who start at 300 or 400 lbs. Just follow your surgery center's instructions to the letter and trust in the process. Make sure you're getting your fluids and protein. You got this!

if you read enough posts it seems that the rate of loss is a little slower after revision I’m currently 2 yrs post revision from VSG to RNY (for GERD not regain) and for me I have been able to maintain the same weight I was with VSG but I’m now GERD free. Initially I lost a little but since I was already at goal my surgeon wanted me to maintain not lose so I ate whatever I wanted for a short period of time. Then went back to normal (post bari lifestyle of moderation and overall food changes/substitution) Knowing what I now know, I think revisioners should consider asking their surgeons: 1. No GERD but substantial regain- Should I consider VSG to DS/SIPS for greater weightloss? 2. GERD and substantial regain- Should I convert from VSG to RNY with a longer bypass? 3. GERD but no regain- Should I convert from VSG to RNY with a slightly shorter bypass to prevent excess loss? Good Luck ❤️

PREOP DIET: THE WHYS I did some extensive reading last night, and discovered that the preop diet is mainly intended to help patients lose weight and de-glycogen their liver to make it more pliable in surgery. That's basically it. In order to do this, one needs to be on a low carb, low fat, high protein diet. They call it a "Very Low Calorie Diet" or VLCD. Some of us have been on this kind of diet in the past. In fact, I lost 50lbs on a VLCD—twice! And of course I gained all the weight back and more, as soon as I allowed myself 1200 calories of healthy food—both times! It slowed my metabolism down to a crawl and didn't allow me energy to exercise. One time I did it sans drugs and had no energy to do anything in my life—it was impossible, but I stuck to these horrible shakes only, and I did this for months. The other time, I just reduced the calories in my daily diet and used Phentermine (so much easier!). Both times I was put on an 800 calorie a day diet. About the fact that it's a liquid diet: this seems not to matter until close to the surgery (last few days?) because they want no particles of poorly chewed food in your stomach's staple line. There could be other reasons for requiring it to be liquid that I have not yet read about, and I'm still looking. Anyone who knows--please jump in. The other bit about it, unfortunately, is the usual infantilizing of overweight people thing: "to get you used to how you will have to eat post-surgery!". I don't know about anyone else, but I don't need to "get used to" drinking artificial shakes. The less I have to be on a shakes diet, the more committed I'll be to the necessary time I have to do it. After surgery, no one even wants to eat a bowl full of broccoli rabe or a fistfull of spikey toast and sharp pieces of metal, or so I've heard. It seems that drinking water is a challenge at first, and that most are not interested in eating for a while. I'd prefer to go the math/science route and be told exactly what the breakdown of the diet is and why, so I can customize according to my own body's medical needs. But preop, it seems that patients should be armed with what will help them succeed at the objectives. If the dietician can't offer true individualized help, and can only communicate in condescending 3-word emails, then they need to print out the diet's actual parameters in the $350 packet of 6 sheets they hand you when you have the all-important "dietician consult". Mine was a joke. The dietician read the packet to me basically. I'm serious. Is this worth $350? I can read. I'm not sure why the parameters need to be so mysterious. Maybe to justify paying a dietician in the first place? An insurance thing like the psych consult? (also a hoop jump for insurance only) The other thing that I hope changes: the condescension towards fat people from some in the medical profession. Overweight people are just people. They aren't somehow deficient, un-smart people, or inherently lacking in discipline or agency because they struggle with their weight/metabolism. This issue isn't about simple "willpower" and anyone who claims it is has not done research or has simply ignored any research that doesn't confirm their own bias against those who are overweight. I know we all—or hopefully many of us—know this and can name a never-ending list of accomplished thinkers, scientists, artists, directors, lawyers, athletes, comedians and yes---doctors! who struggle with their weight for a variety of reasons. In fact, just like in the general non-overweight population, there are intelligent people who are successful at other things in their life in the fat population. So it really bothers me when we are infantilized en masse. Perhaps some people on the preop diet like the authoritarian approach, and that's ok! Not all of us want to be treated like that, and we should be accommodated and armed with science and math on this diet to minimize our own suffering and maximize our chance of success on the diet. Some seem to think we deserve some more suffering for being overweight, and if we balk at this, it's a sign we should think more about our commitment to health before undergoing surgery. That ethos is part of some kind of seriously retrograde, patriarchal justified-by-labor nonsense that has nothing to do with this problem. I'm still working on the research, guys. Meanwhile, I'm trying the lower-calcium Owyn shakes today (that got horrible reviews for taste- yum!) because my dietician was able to suggest those when pushed for a lower calcium option.

When I was 340 the Hoka One One Clifton 8s were my go-to. They held up well with the weight and were incredibly soft to walk on. Now that I’m at 195 I switched to basic Nike running sneakers that are light as air and still soft. They probably wouldn’t have survived long at my previous weight though. The hoka were really durable and never seemed to give up cushioning.

Talk to your doctor about whether there will be absorption issues. I take a lot of medications and was told I should get the sleeve because the absorption issues are really with bypass, not sleeve. However, birth control in general can be really iffy after WLS because you become much more fertile, so they tell you not to rely on pills alone. I don't know if nexplanon would be sufficient. However, common side effects of nexplanon include weight gain and mood swings, both things you want to avoid after WLS. If Yasmin worked for you before surgery, it might be best to stick with it (my surgeon requires me to be off my BCP for a month before and after surgery to reduce risk of blood clots), but also use back up birth control like condoms. The reason that they want you to use condoms or some other barrier method is all the hormonal changes after surgery - fat cells release estrogen. So, obviously, I'm just some random person on the internet and you should talk to your surgeon and whomever prescribes your birth control, but this is what I've learned from my research. Good luck!

most people don't lose a ton of weight with revisions because the "magic" of virgin surgeries isn't there with revisions, but some people do manage to lose a lot with a lot of hard work. I think I've read the average is about 20-30 lbs with revisions, but then, that's an average. If you really work at it, you could probably lose quite a bit more than that.

I had surgery in my 50s (I'm now in my early 60s), but there are people on here who had it in their 60s. I didn't have any co-morbidities when I had it, but at almost 400 lbs, I knew that was just around the corner if I didn't get rid of that weight. I'd do it again in a heartbeat and only wish I'd have had it 20 years ago. (p.s. I had bypass, but sleeve is a good surgery, too)

I'd do it again in a heartbeat! I had it six years ago and lost over 200 lbs (although I should add that that's not very common - most people lose around 70% of their excess weight with it - but of course, that's just an average - you'll always find people who lose more or less than that). I had a super easy recovery - and really no pain to speak of. It was more discomfort for a few days. I would say most people have little to no pain - and if you're one of the unfortunate ones who do, you'll have pain pills with you to manage it.

I can totally understand being upset by them suddenly adding an extra two months when you already worked your ass off to get where you are. You just have to remind yourself on how far you've come and how close you are to getting your surgery. Two months is nothing! It flies by! I did the 6 month weigh in thing myself and due to my six months falling around Thanksgiving my surgery got knocked back due to them being overscheduled so, for me, it was actually 8 months from my first appointment to my surgery. I, however, wasn't given a set amount of weight to lose. I was just told not to GAIN weight. I choose to try to lose as much weight as I could though and to try to get myself into healthier eating habits before my surgery and I was proud that I'd lost 68 pounds during that time. Now I'm almost 18 months post op and time has flown by! Right now two months seems like forever, but it'll go by fast! Try not to be discouraged! You'll get there!

I have been on my preop surgery journey for 116 days!! I was doing really well. I was told my insurance requirement was 4 months of weight loss, weight checked by my MD each month. I had to lose 42lbs. I also had to go thru all the test, lab work, stress test, PYSC test, the whole Nine yards!! Well I did it and not only did I lose the 42 lbs. I was supposed to lose I lost 47! I was super excited and ready….. Then my PT advocate sends me an email she made a mistake, I have to do 6 months of weigh ins for my insurance so she will need two more months 'Thanks". I mean it was like so Nonchalant an casual like this means nothing! After everything it feels like a gut punch an now I’ve lost focus an I can’t lose a single pound an feel like I’m gaining. I’m down an don’t know how to regain my momentum!! I am terrified I am going to gain weight an then completely be told oh no sorry can not help you!! I know it is a mind set issue I am struggling an now I have a weigh in next Friday feeling terrible about it!!!!