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<p class='citation'>crazyweight, on August 5, 2014 - 4:26 PM, said:</p><div class='blockquote'><div class='quote'><p>&lt;p&gt;I just want to say that some of you are REALLY judgemental. Everyone has a different journey, everyone has different experiences.&amp;nbsp;&lt;/p&gt;<br> &lt;p&gt;Here is what happened to me: I did surgery at a private hospital in Israel. All my instructions were given out in google-translated English and we did not need 6 months prior counseling, nor did we need a liquid diet, nor did I need to meet with a psychiatrist. I had exactly one meeting with a NUT who barely spoke English. None of these were really a downfall however, and thankfully I have managed to lose a significant amount of weight.&lt;/p&gt;<br> &lt;p&gt;What I did struggle with, however, was that about 4-5 days after coming home (I have three kids) everyone was stuffing their face and having a party. And I ate exactly one tiny pretzel that I chewed into pieces. And you know what? It didn't hurt, it tasted good and I was fine.. What happened next was not OK though- I really was panicked that my sleeve wasn't working, or I had ruined it. I NEEDED support desperately from people who had BTDT, and I made the mistake of posting on here. I got exactly one piece of support and the rest ridiculed/ derided/mocked or basically told me how stupid I was for doing so. Ummmm people f**k up- didn't many of us screw up somewhere to be in need of surgery to begin with? I think this board is great for questions, but you know what? Sometimes people make mistakes. And need support for those mistakes, not to be ridiculed or made fun of or be called out for being stupid.&lt;/p&gt;<br> &lt;p&gt;Had someone said to me back then- "you know, you shouldn't have eaten it, but you haven't ruined your sleeve- PM me if you need to talk in future" that would have done a lot more for my self-esteem and support through the process than all the people who told me I was dumb and I shouldn't have done surgery to begin with etc.. etc..&amp;nbsp;&lt;/p&gt;<br> &lt;p&gt;It is HARD to have little kids who wander round with food and not feel inclined to touch any of it despite having basically been on a fast for at least a week prior. It is HARD to make dinner and smell something yummy and not touch it. Yes, you should realise all thise before you do surgery, but realising something and living it are two very different things. And, quite frankly, if you cannot be in a place to give constructive support to someone who is likely going through a really low point in their lives, look away and move on. Don't mock or deride- keep it in your head or write it on a private chat or FB status. Those of us who feel like we failed at some point need help, not more mocking thrown their way.&lt;/p&gt;<br> &lt;p&gt;To be clear- I am in no way advocating someone to stuff their faces right after surgery - or any point ever after surgery (I am one of the very few who suffers/ed from dumping syndrome after the sleeve) or eat stuff they shouldn't. I am just askign that people on this board be gentle and kind to people who have made a mistake. If you want to be supportive- help them get back on the right track in a kind way.&lt;/p&gt;</p></div></div> <br> I know this feeling. It's so hard to live with someone who can eat anything and everything and does. I have tried to get my husband to hide his "treats" but he doesn't. Sometimes I fail to control myself. I'm not perfect, as no one else is. <br><br> In my experience I have found that different clinics have different rules. I am not to have protein shakes, caffeine, or alcohol ever again. I found that I needed protein shakes early on and used them anyway. I saw others use Click (has caffeine) and wondered how? I have even seen some who are allowed to have soda but I was told no more carbonated drinks. Even some who drink coffee, another thing that is off-limits for me. To me, that is technically "cheating" but that is just for me. Not saying I haven't had any of these things in the past just that it's considered cheating by my nutritionist. I was also told that eating processed foods would be better than eating out at a restaurant. I don't agree with that (most processed foods are high in sodium) and make healthy choices if I do go out. I do need to limit my carbs. I have found that there are foods low in sugar but high in carbs. Oh, my sugar and fat shouldn't be over 10 grams per serving either. I can tolerate around 13 grams of each before dumping. Yes. About 18 months out and I still dump. I was one of the "lucky" ones to get dumping syndrome after having the vertical sleeve gastrectomy. I was told on various other forums that it was impossible to dump after the sleeve. I was warned prior though by my surgical team. Basically their VSG patients are to follow the same plan as RNY patients and are told they can pretty much have the same issues. <br><br> Anyway, thought I would chime in. I am not trying to down anyone for their choices or mistakes. Basically I think some people, like me, ask some things because of the different rules. I do drink an occasional iced coffee, alcoholic beverage, soda, and have even eaten pizza, before. *gasp* Before surgery I could eat a whole large pizza...now only two small slices at the most. <br><br> Whatever works for you, is what I say (in moderation and if you're not gaining, that is).<br><br> -- Tina. :-)

@@labwalker said: There is a big difference between folks who didn't receive guidance, and need advice from others who have shared the same journey because they have no where else to turn. I think the first poster was upset about folks who were told what to do by their doctors (such as no alcohol for six months) and then come here asking for some sort of validation for doing exactly what their doctor told them not to do. @@labwalker, it's a bit of both. Yes, some people seem committed to recreating their pre-op lifestyle as soon as possible. I sense that some patients would never have been approved for surgery if they'd had to jump through any hoops at all. But I've been puzzled that people would commit to this surgery -- no matter where or at what price -- and not be prepared either by their surgeons or, in lieu of that, self-education about what they can expect and how they will live. As @@tkauhi has just confirmed, some surgeons simply don't educate their patients about post-operative behaviors even a little bit. Mind-boggling! I have to wonder how those surgeons' patients' complication rates and long-term success rates compare (on the whole) to those of patients whose surgeons prepared them better for post-WLS life.

11 days out and I can't even think about a drink of coffee! I will say I had a band before this and in the beginning alcohol didn't effect me the same. I think I was so paranoid I'd get stupid drunk or vomit I tricked my brain to stay sober. But seriously. Alcohol is just sugar calories. What's the point?

UPDATE: We stopped in Vegas on our way to Utah to go riding. Didn't drink alcohol because we still had driving to do. We had an amazing time. He laughs at my portion size. We did eat out just about everyday. We chose his meal together from the healthier options, then he allowed me to take my share. Commenting along the way that he won't ever miss 2 oz of his meal. I think the biggest part of my dilemma was I thought he wanted to lose weight with me and I was supper frustrated that he wasn't willing to change. I am coping much better with the advice that I chose this surgery, My life will forever be changed. He didn't have this surgery so he doesn't have to tool. I was getting all stressed out trying to help him eat healthy, reminding him to not drink. SCREW that!! He is a big boy, if he wants things to stay that way, why should it stress me out. I now say "I am heading to the gym" and off I go. If he tags along fine, if he watches TV fine. Eventually he may get on board but for now it looks like life as usual at least for him. I am down 30 lbs!!!!

@@melyssafaye that's a common misconception. Truvia is actually a blend of stevia, sugar alcohols and other ingredients I can't pronounce. I can't say that it's bad for you but it's produced by Coca Cola which makes me suspicious. Though that may just me being paranoid!

So, my coworker's brother had gastric bypass a few days after I did. Same office, different surgeon. This was 10 months ago almost. He is STILL not eating solid foods. He tried eating a few things, but he got sick, so now he has a food aversion and only eats jello and yogurt. On top of that, he has become an alcoholic. He had blood in his stool and a local doctor thought it was his colon, but then he woke up one night covered in blood. He went to the local hospital (not the one where our surgeon's are), and lost 3 pints of blood due to a bleeding ulcer in his pouch. He drinks a bottle of whiskey a day and also drinks beer. He looks GREY. He has lost nearly 300lbs in the last 10 months alone. He has not told our bariatric clinic about any of this. They don't know about the ulcer, or his drinking, or that he still isn't eating solid food. He is literally going to die. His family hasn't contacted the bariatric clinic either. I don't know this guy - only what my coworker has shared. She says that every day he tells her he regrets what he has done, but is ashamed to contact the bariatric surgeon because they are going to tell him to stop drinking and he doesn't want to. His family has been unable to get him to see anyone about the drinking. Should I make a call to my bariatric office and just be like "hey, I know you can't confirm or deny that this guy is a patient but so and so had surgery on this date with this doctor and this has happened... maybe just make a call to him as a casual "checkup"" in hopes that that will trigger him opening up to get help?

I agree and great post. Sorry for Sally Speed-demon but awesome on Nurse Jackie! I think it could be a potential delicate walk. I used to work in hospitals while going to school and I can honestly say that bias DOES exist between doctors and nurses. They are taxed for time/energy/attention with all the people they must take care of during their shift. And they have to work with many repeat offenders who present over the legal limit (way over) and are incoherent and at crisis. And some come in with legit medical issues, but often they are written off because of their previous visits involving over-consumption of alcohol or their alcoholism. I can only think it's even worse now, since ER visits are up, nurse staffing is down, and so is doctor staffing. So I think that if you go to your bariatric surgeon and level with them, it's hard and could represent a gamble for that person. Cuz afterward, whatever your legit problem is or potentially is with surgery, you could just be written off as, "Well, he or she is an alcoholic so it's cuz of their alcohol problem." That same thing happens every day with mental health issues in practice (not just in bariatrics). And once you are labled a head case, docs are more resistant to seeing you and/or taking your issues seriously (beyond it being related to so-in-so's mental health). I know this happens. I've seen it happen working in the field. It is very tough to not get biased by underlying mental health and addiction issues. And it's very difficult for that patient to be taken seriously by anyone and not handed-off to an unsuspecting doctor somewhere else. They become a drain on their resources and income. No doc likes a squeaky wheel. It costs them money.

First of all, it completely pisses me off when someone tries to compare quitting smoking (or alcohol or drugs) to losing weight. You can go the rest of your life without a cigarette (or a beer or a hit of cocaine) and be just fine, but the same is not true of food. (Don't let your husband compare your failures with weight loss to your failures with quitting smoking -- they are separate issues -- one is a psychological addiction and the other is a physical addiction.) And you have to have food. Unlike other addiction recovery programs that promote total abstinence, with food you have to learn moderation. Well, that's damn hard to do when you feel ravenously hungry. That's where the band comes in. It is a tool to help control your appetite. Second, using his mother as an example is unfair. Someone who gains 30 lbs once and then diets and exercises and keeps it off is not someone who has a chronic weight problem. It's just not the same. Period. My boyfriend had exactly the same responses as your husband. Why can't you just diet and exercise? Well, I can diet and exercise for about 3-4 months, but then my appetite gets the best of me and I start overeating again. My boyfriend is a cop and was in the Army for 23 years. He's the perfect example of self-discipline, so he cannot understand why I'm the way I am. I've told him point blank that I have very little self-discipline and self-control, and that an intelligent person recognizes her shortcomings and seeks the appropriate help with deal with her problems. When I explained to him that the band is tool to help bolster my self-control, he was marginally better with the whole idea. Fortunately, we have not co-mingled our finances, so he could not make an issue of the money. I basically told him that I'm going to do what I want to do, and he can either support me or not. And, yes, some people do fail with the band. But at least with the band, you have a chance. I know that going back to just plain dieting and exercising would not work. It hasn't worked for the past 25 years, so why would it work this time? I need more help than Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig or any of the other programs can give me. Our history of repeated failures with dieting is evidence that we need to do something different. Don't let your husband bully you into not doing this.

sugar free lifesavers, sugar free jolly ranchers, not to a huge extent because they have sugar alcohols but they will be great on your dry mouth. Make sure you are taking in your water and clear liquids first though! dry mouth is a big sign of dehydration.

Brandy II, not only do I not think you're a dumbass - you just plain make me laugh! You made me think of something though when talking about your dad. It takes about a teaspoon of wine to get me wasted. I was warned about this before banding but since I hardly ever drink, I didn't think much of it. Absolutely no alcohol in public anymore - not because I make myself look (more) stupid, but because I need to go to sleep - immediately!! My "bad" foods have always been the salty/fatty ones. And Tostitos and queso slip down just fine, darn it!! I'm trying to use the willpower I don't have (birth defect) to just not buy them. Sometimes I'm successful and sometimes I'm not. I think my problem is with planning. Wish I'd paid better attention in home ec.

Im ashamed to say my only vomiting experience in seven years - even through chemotherapy - was alcohol related a few monthsagp. Retching but mothing came up. Then i fell aslep, lol.

I'm happy you got your test results and your surgery date is secure, I was away for a few days for my husbands work, I had one bad food and alcohol day but right back on track the next day, I'm glad you stuck to your pre-op diet at your meeting, how are you doing today?

Im in! Exercise everyday someway! WAlk at least 1 mile 4 times a week try for 7. OK now I have a funny story to tell you guys. As a lot of you know I was on a cruse last week. It was a 10 day cruse. We avoided Wilma by hours. Anyway for the most part I was pretty good. I had shake in the AM some type of chicken or fish for lunch drank Water like crazy, everyone else was drinking alcohol, so I added lime to my water. But then at dinner time.....they came around with these wonderful little (really they were little) rolls. In the begining of the cruse I had 1 then half way through I went to 2. Then I'd have some Soup maybe 5-6 TBLS then some type of proitien chicken or fish and then a few bites of desert. I have not been on the scale yet, I go see the doctor tomorrow so hopefully I didn't gain. Well the last night of the cruse I went outside to try to see if I could use my cell phone. The wind was so strong I had to hold onto the railing..MY UNDERPANTS FELL OFF! thats right right off! Thank God I had pants on or I realy would have been in trouble! I was laughing so hard and trying to hold myself up, that I couldn't pull them up. This man saw me laughing by my self so hard that he started laughing..I went into our gang just about dying with laughter and told them...We desided to put on the comment card that the food was so bad my underpants fell off due to weight loss! Well I'm hoping I did lose some! I measured my self the day before sugery which was 9/25 and I measured yesterday 10/25 I have lost 15 1/2 inches in a month.

how long after your surgery did your tape come off of your incissions? I am 12 days post op and my tape is still on and going strong.... i have been having some burning/pain sensations near my biggest incission and really feel it is being caused by the surgical tape. the surgeon said to leave them on until they fall off on their own. Only one has fallen off and it was the smallest incission up near my breast bone--most likely from being hit with my bra everytime I went to put it on. They look awful! No matter how many alcohol swabs I use I cant get the sticky grey residue off my skin. They look dirty from my clothes rubbing up against them as well. I have my first post op appointment on Thursday so Im going to address it then, but what about the rest of you? How long did it take?

With all my surgeries, including another laproscopic procedure, I was instructed to have clean, DRY hair. No make up, at least one nail unpolished.....blah, blah, blah----but nothing about no alcohol hair products!!! How strange! Be cool to see if others have been told the same, or had bad experiences with it! Kat

I told everyone I worked with, my family and most of my friends. I didn't tell people who I thought wouldn't be supportive...ie--I didn't announce it on facebook. I am glad that I shared the information with most of the people in my life. I know two other successful band-ers and their support has been priceless. I also didn't want the rumor-mill running at work. My husband and I work at the same place and I just decided to be honest and up-front about it. I don't regret my decision. 99% of people I worked with have been supportive and very nice. I do once in a while get snide comments---my aunt saying that she would like to lose weight but doesn't want plastic around her stomach, etc. But, I am doing this for my life and health and I am proud of my decision. As an adult child of an alcoholic parent, I am tired of keeping secrets. I want to live a honest, happy life.

Hi, Yeas so maybe Anna Nicole abused drugs and alcohol, but I reckon a lot of us have ended up where we are from abusing food. Maybe Drugs and alcohol were Anna's port in the storm. At any rate we can't look down on her. She has lost her life so I would hope we could have a bit of compassion and grace for another person. Susannah:confused:

Hey Everyone! I made it back safe and sound without any trouble - thanks for all your information and well wishes - I appreciate them! The surgery went well and I only had what I would consider the normal amount of discomfort after surgery. I did have a few minutes of remorse in the recovery room and the day after surgery when I was still feeling a bit under the weather but I think it's gone now. Still sore of course around my port area but my appetite is returning and I actually felt hungry today. I was hoping it would stay away a little longer so the 4 weeks of dietary restriction would go a little faster but, oh well - I'll just have to manage! Lucky to have no shoulder pain, but oh yeah, lots of gas! The only thing I could complain about was their alcohol swabs, and that's pretty minor but in the cardiologist's office the girl took a cotton ball out of a glass jar full of cotton balls and alcohol and I noticed the alcohol was cloudy....? The other time was in the hospital when they took out my IV. She put a cotton ball dampened with alcohol on my hand and taped it down. I kept smelling something sour and even asked my friend if she smelled something like yogurt in the room. I thought maybe my clothes stunk from the suitcase because I had just showered and changed them a little earlier. When I took the tape and cotton ball off my hand the smell got really strong and when I put it to my nose I almost puked! What on earth can grow in alcohol to make it sour - and why aren't we dying from infections? I figure they must put something in their mix because I didn't get any infection at all. Really weird! Telly - I think it's a requirement to be hot to work in Dr. Rumbaut's office. They all had it going on didn't they - and how beautiful is Elsa? Did she have the picture of the SUPER HOT guy in the frame on her desk when you were there? She said he's just some random guy but that she's using him for postive imagery! Have you heard anything out of Amy? I was wondering how she was doing but haven't had time to check around here for her. Thanks again everyone! It's nice to have this over with and I'm anxious to get on with the day to day life of a lapbander! I'll check in soon.

I am so thankful for all the support that is being poured out! That is what so many of us need. I am treating my eating as an addiction that is no different than an alcoholic. It is that serious to me. keep checking in yall. I weigh on monday mornings so I will try to post my results, hopefully it may be an encouragement to someone!

today was my first day home & i really wish i wouldve stayed in the hospital. i just finished throwing up and its so disgusting & burns so bad!!!! im actually mad that i pushed to go home so bad! i shouldve stayed. this morning i found out my prescription portion of my insurance was not active so i couldnt get my meds until just a few mins ago. when i say nightmare, im talking about nightmare!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the acid is like triple & burns so bad that it feels like someone is pouring alcohol on an open cut. i dont wish this on my worst enemy. i just really wish i could go back to normal. this is just crazy!!!! :'(

We are already in to week three of the year. How many of you made a resolution to lose weight? Did you promise yourself you were going to lose a few unsightly pounds, or are you thinking about losing the weight of a small Volkswagen? Well, I'm here to tell you that regardless of how much you want to lose, to be successful you've got to get right in the head first. There is a huge chasm between thinking about it and doing it. The first thing you need to do is ask yourself: "Self ... am I ready for this? Am I ready to severely change my life? Am I ready to rethink the way I look at food and drink? Am I ready to temporarily forego dinner parties, lunches, and various other social functions? Am I ready to make my weight loss the most important thing in my life? Am I ready to become more active? Am I ready to find a plan and stick to it? Am I ready to have patience? Am I committed to succeed? Well, are ya? If you have answered NO to any of the aforementioned questions, you probably need to rethink your resolution. Whether you're thinking of blowing out 5 pounds of baby fat or 100 pounds of fat ass, the commitment is the same. The only difference is the distance you may travel. Your 5 pounds may take a couple of weeks. Your 100 pounds may take a couple of years. I know this first hand. If you read my previous rant, you'll remember that Dr. X shocked me by telling me that my quest for Thindom is a 2 year journey. All the while, stupid me was banking on being done in one year. So if you're a "biggun" hitting for the fences, face the fact that you're going to be doing this for a while. Let's talk to possible Lap-Band candidates. Know this. Don't think you're going to go in for your first consultation and schedule a surgery date. That's what I thought. I went in on January 21, 2013 and thought I would schedule my surgery for a few weeks away. Right between some travel plans I had. Oh NAY NAY! I was given a laundry list of things that I needed to accomplish to get scheduled. My doctor told me if I was diligent, I could get it done in 5 months. Yikes! I saw numerous doctors, shrinks, exercise gurus, nutritionists and fat counselors. I went to group therapies and had batteries of test done. I did everything asked of me as quick as possible and it took me 4 months to get the food fighter installed. So potential Lap-Banders ... be ready for that! Another thing Lap-Band candidates must grasp. This Lap-Band contraption is nothing more than a tool. To be successful, you must find a diet plan your comfortable with and stick to it! Fact is, it will be a while after your surgery that you even feel the device working for you. In my case, it was at least 5 months of saline injections before I finally felt a small restriction. Even after 8 months, I still am not in the "green zone". My doctor and nutritionist discuss this every month at my check-in. And every month we're still tweaking it up a bit. It's all part of the process. Bottom line readers ... If you're trying to lose weight, it's gonna take commitment and time. I have read many blogs of newbie lap-band patients that are disappointed in their results. But if you read between the lines it's always the same. They got the surgery and they are sitting on their collective fat asses waiting for the pounds to melt away. Sorry. That just ain't gonna happen! Going into month 9, I am bouncing around the 70 pound loss number. I did it by carefully watching my calorie intake of both food and alcohol. I have gotten more active. Do I work out? Yes, but I ain't killing myself doing it. After all, my original goal was just to fit back into my Level 3 pants. I was never trying to qualify for the Olympics. I will get back to you when I am firmly under that 70 mark. Should be real soon! Johnny

Similar fiasco with our wedding... But it wasn't my dad... My hubby's dad is a butt and we didn't even invite him to the wedding because he is a dead beat alcoholic and cares nothing for his family... BUT, that was my hubby's decision... I went with what HE wanted because it was HIS dad. I think your sister needs to do what SHE wants and screw what is PROPER and what everyone else thinks!

Well I think we all drink a pretty good amount hell we can't eat much might as well ...I just started drinking again I went for a few yrs with out a drop alcohol poisoning will do that to ya..

Wow I am so sorry to hear that. I asked my surgeon about the vice swapping thing and she says it tends to be true and most of the time it is alcohol one switches too. She had (what I thought) a lame explanation..that it takes less to make someone "buzzed" and they don't adjust for it! I think it is all about addictive behavior. I have heard about the sex thing too. I think you will be okay because you are aware from the get go. Have you ever talked to your mom about why she thinks it has happend to her?

I was a band to bypass. So glad I did it. I had problems the first year, mostly just learning experiences. If I had eaten exactly as I was told, I wouldn't have had any problems. But most of us have some addiction problems with food and we push the boundaries. Now I feel like an alcoholic who takes anabuse. It's a drug that makes an alcoholic really sick if they drink. I get really sick when I eat sugar period. Sugar was my weakness. And now that I am over 2 years out, I sometimes eat too much and then in 20 minutes I feel it. So I keep trying to remember to eat only one cup of food at any meal. Eat 3 meals per day and eat Protein first, then veggies and fruits. I do sometimes feel an emptiness inside where the sugar used to go...not in the stomach...I am learning that for me, being creative is a must. I have to have creativity in my life regularly. Some find a love of exercise and that takes the place of the food. Most of this journey is in our heads not our stomachs. And it's a wonderful journey of self awareness and learning to love ourselves from the inside out.