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I agree about simple carbs being like crack... they have always been my weakness. I know this about myself so I choose to forever go without them. Others may be able to have a little taste and no more but not me! I'm like an alcoholic who can't have just a 'little' alcohol. I have to abstain COMPLETELY! I am VERY okay with that - being thin (and healthy) is SO much more satisfying!!!!! :-)

Loving husband- look at it this way... The surgery will give her the tool she (in your description) seems to lack in order to stop over eating. It's not a cure all and yea surgery of any kind is dangerous, but so is diabetes and high blood pressure and a heart attack, which is where your wife may be headed. This is a scary process and a Life altering ordeal so if you love her for better or worse, then let her know you are scared but you support her need to be healthy. If you love her through sickness and health, then recognize she is sick.. I'm talking as someone in her shoes and feel I have a sickness. You may see it as a weakness, an in many ways I suppose that's fair, but it's like any other disease.. Alcoholism, sex addict, drug user, it makes you ill and unhealthy. She's making the bravest decision ever right here and right now I guarantee that what she needs is your understand that this is something she needs to do, and you don't have to understand why, just that it is the way it is and support is all you can offer now or you will risk losing your wife after all!! Please consider counseling... Both of you or you alone can only gain perspective and calmness. I did that for me and asked my husban to go and at first he had some of the same things to say you did, but after the initial shock wore off and he learned about the surgery (by going to the weight loss seminars with me), and research and also just listening to my needs and fears.... Then he was totally supportive and goes to all my appointments and has taken the time off for mY surgery and the days after. That's really all I can say, cause you will stand to gain peace if you accept it isn't about you. It really isn't. This is not a life threatening surgery and the down side of what can manifest if she doesnt get help will be more life threatening! Keep that in mind. Give her a hug and a kiss and then commit yourself to learning and accepting everything she has to deal with. Her recovery and success will greatly be affected by your attitude... So please for her sake and your marriage, just accept she needs your love and positivity only right now!

Hi everyone---I am going to attempt to catch up here!!! I feel almost human, except my stomach muscles feel like I have done thousands of sit-ups....all the coughing has me sore!! I haven't been working out, so maybe the cough is my workout.....ok, well it was worth a try!!! Cassie--WOOOHOOO Congrats girlie!!!! Engaged!!! And what a special time of the year! Did he have a big special proposal and everything??? Do tell! Dianne--I wish I had magic words to make it all better for you. Cindy's description was very vivid...it fits my situation perfectly! I was raised in a small area with all 4 of my Grandparents close. Over a period of several years I lost them all, one each in November, December, January and February. So it seems like everytime I turn around it is the anniversary of one of them. Maybe it is a big let down, after having your wonderful Grandmother with you and now her not being there. Everyones insights seem so possible...hormones are hell! I began perimenopause in my late 30's. Partly because I had hormonal problems going on, but no one thought it was too early at the Dr. so there may be something to that theory. Whatever, you always have us to come to and whine, and we will try to help you through --we love you and hate knowing you are feeling blue. Beannie--will say a prayer for your parents health. It is worrisome, when they get down, you never know if they will let you know if something "feels" wrong, or if they will spare you. At least with children you can get on to them, not so with parents! I think your gift baskets sound like a good plan. Mary--sorry you missed your company party. I know without a doubt your kids are more important, but it just sounds like the ex was being an ass! I bet that does not come as a surprise to you!!! Hang in there, time helps! Eileen---fire & kids, now there is an interesting lesson! Seriously---someone had their head someplace inappropriate when they made that call!!! I didn't get any cleaning or anything done besides cough this weekend!! I just finished the house. I now have clean sheets on every bed in my house, and it is clean. Of course tomorrow the granddaughter comes back!!!! I have a few gifts left to buy, shirts for the girls, life savors books for ALL the kids, big & little, and jammies for the granddaughter. Then I will be done. Have some candy to make, but it is snowing today so it is not good weather, it stays too sticky! So I am playing on my computer instead!!! Sherry--how goes the perfume hunt? I have some I wear on occasion, but the one my DH prefers is a stronger scent, so I mist the air, walk through, and we are both happy!!! Chris--what kind of fun surprises do you have for your nieces for Christmas??? Mandy--Did you survive Walmart? I thought about going today, but it is snowing, and wet and cold---and the fire is so warm, and my sweats so cozy---here I am!! Any signs of more mice??? I'll loan you Bailey---he is a good Mouser, close him in the basement, bring him home when they are gone!!! He is not afraid of dogs, I think it is because he hasn't found one he can't whoop yet....mean ol cat!!! J/K I understand the allergies! Betty--your block sounds like the perfect place to live!!! I get along well with most of my neighbors, others we merely nod at---but in reality they are more likely to make a sit com out of my neighborhood as opposed to a post card!!! My neighbors to the south are Mr & Mrs Hoity Toity, they have nothing to do with any of us, we are all seriously below them. And my neighbors directly to the north are serious but functioning alcoholics!!! We do not need an entire neighborhood watch, if Connie is around, she sees it all!!! Patty--have your feet met the ground yet? I am so doggoned excited for you!!!! Soon all the battling to get it done will be a distant memory, along with a lot of pounds!!! Wooo Hooo! Cindy---all those birds are coming your way...6 geese a laying, partridge in the pear tree, turtle doves.....watch where ya step!!!! Count down is on!!! Darcy--let me get this straight, you invite people in to your home, you feed them, make them feel welcome AND you give THEM gifts??? I am so going to the wrong parties!!! I always take a gift....tell us what you made! Anne--did DH make it home ok from his trip? Was he gone for months and months? Is that why WE haven't seen you??!! Jules--Thanks for the heads up on the junior Mucinex, it really did help, and was not awful tasting. It is a relief knowing it is there to take when needed, and is band friendly!! Get some guys, keep it on hand!!! Ok--- off to change out laundry.....I am caught up I think...whew!!! Kat

OK, where does someone with a DRUG AND ALCOHOL problem get off sending PM's to my best friend on the board telling them I am "unstable". You need fitted for a straight-jacket. The further you stay from me the better. I don't drink and I don't take drugs, and I don't need to self-medicate. It is no dam wonder you failed your psych exam...and you have the nerve to call me unstable to my best friend in a PM. You threatened her and you threatened to send it to a monitor. Well, feel free to do so P'Susan, because I want no part of you or your problems. Let the others contend with you. By the way I was a perfect size 14 at 175 lbs. I wonder what you are doing at over 200 trying to squeeze into them. OK, feel free to send this to a moderator, because you have verbally attacked me to 3 Loves in a PM, and didn't even have the nerve to put it on the board. She has the PM to prove it, and it's my guess the moderators do also. I have steered so clear of you and your problems it isn't even funny, but you turn around and attack me for no reason other than I don't want to bother with you....makes little or no sense to me.

Aw sweety I understand what you are saying. It's easy to say what one would do in a situation but unless you've been there.... BUT, I have been there. I was married for 11 years to an abusive alcoholic. He had no problem calling me all kinds of names and my low self esteem just took it. Until one day I didn't. I realized that I meant something. I was not all these awful things he said. I was better than that and needed to treat myself kindly. I got out of the marriage and never looked back. It is hard being married to an abuser so I get it. The thing is, you don't realize how abnormal it is until you are out of the marriage. You don't realize how bogged down you are until you have some space from the abuser. I really think that everyone has their own threshold of what they are willing to put up with. You may not have hit yours yet. But just be aware, that is all the wonderful posters here are saying.

I have not personally experienced this, but I have heard divorce rates are high for people who have WLS. However, it sounds like you dodged a bullet! We don't need an abundance of food and alcohol to have fun!

Hopefully you won't identify deeply with it for the rest of your life. People are different and everyone's boat is rocked by something else but it always gives me the creeps when people relate to themselves as some kind of disease. "I'm an alcoholic". "I'm a diabetic". 'I'm a food addict". "I'm a WLS patient". ___ Have you ever heard someone say "I'm a lymphomic" or "I'm a myocardial infarctionist"?

I don't watch The View, maybe caught a couple episodes when it debut's. I thought the whole premise of the show was to get women of varying ages and varying opinions, to speak on certain topics so the public could realize there are a wide range of opinions on any given subject out there. I thought it was up to each individual watching to take the discussion, to form their own opinions.. I was banded in '09. due ortho injuries resulting in multiple surgeries, I wanted to have enough nutrients to heal well. I requested a slow. gradual fill which I'd hoped would coincide with the end of surgeries. 8 surgeries in 4 yrs; 2 with lots of blood loss that rendered me unknowingly, extremely enimic. It hasn't been easy but I did lose 100lbs in those 4 yrs. In 2013, I experienced band complications of my own doing- picked up smoking cigs after 5yrs smoke-free, due to extreme mega- stress. The stress inflamed the band site. Smoking inflamed the band site, Alcohol increase inflamed the band site & a too-tight adjustment following the last of my surgeries further complicated already well-inflamed band site. I ended up awake all night with those uber annoying, hacking, night coughs. Then, the acid reflux. Burning all the way up my esophagus to my throat-OW! Then on top of the cough wake ups, I began also waking up an additional 2-3x's a night, vomiting blood that pooled in my tummy from the acid. I had the band loosened & gained 15lbs in 4 mos. The gastric symptoms were treated with omniprozole & some other liquid tummy med & it healed nicely. The PA put back 1cc and it seems ok though there are nights I still cough all night. Still trying to figure out the new sweet spot. I've lost 10 of the 15lbs I'd gained so am now @ 95lbs lost, 5yrs out. Even with all that, I'm not considering tossing the band and giving up. I'm pretty confident that once my mind's in a place where I have reduced that mega-stress enough to stop quitting smoking again, my tummy will stop being so inflamed & the band will again do its' job. I have 25-30lbs to lose to get to my goal weight. I'm not offended by Rosie's comments @ all. It is what it is. My PA informed me the band has had a low success rate in general; that I'm an exception to the rule. So what! I'm glad I'm still in the 50% group of band successes. I took Rosie's comments with a grain of salt; it's just her opinion based on whatever she knew @ that point in time. We've all done research to chose whichever WLS we get. What I discovered that informed my decision to get banded would probably offend the sleeve & RNY people. Who cares? We're all in this together, learning as we go, even Rosie. Anyone who makes their WLS decision based solely on "Rosie said..." should maybe consider a lobotomy instead of WLS, IMHO.

Not catholic (Lutheran) but I took communion (bread and wine) 2 weeks post op and every week since. Never had a problem or a hiccup. I asked my NUT before and she just said start slow and be mindful of how i felt. The first 4 weeks I just took a sip of the wine, I didn't drink the whole little cup. And I kept the bread in my mouth till it mostly dissolved or I just kept chewing it even after I sat down (we typically don't do wafers). I am 3 moths out and I don't even blink with either now. That is the only alcohol I have done and it is SUCH a small amount that it has no impact. And that is the only bread I have as well. I was afraid I would have to do the gluten free wafer - but I seem to tolerate the homemade bread okay. Again, they are such small amounts. Good Luck!

That's a GREAT question, May! How do social outings affect me? I've got to say, I find it really challenging, especially because I'm in marketing so my job involves taking people out to lunch all the time. Yikes! I've had numerous embarressing situations where I've been talking to clients over a nice lunch and have to interrupt them to run to the bathroom to barf. Oy! For me, the biggest thing I have to watch is my alcohol consumption. It's very easy to continue to socialize and feel a part of the party by participating in alcohol, especially when you can't participate in sharing an order of chicken wings or nachos. So it's easy (for me) to turn to alcohol to kind of fuel that "I want to fit in with the group" need. If that sounds like you, then my advise is: (1) Sip your alcohol slowly; (2) drink Water in between your alcohol to slow you down; (3) choose lower-calorie beverages, such as choose vodka ("clear" alcohol") & juice over Baileys/Kaluha ("dark" alcohols). But in general, when it comes to socializing with the gastric band, some ideas are: * Socialize in non-eating situations, if possible. Go for a walk, a bike ride, canoeing, horseback riding, etc. You can get exercise, enjoy your social gathering, and not feel the pressure with food. To effectively do this, *YOU* should make the recommendation for the gathering first, rather than rely on other people to choose your activity. * Talk a lot. When you're talking, you're not eating. * Invite people over to your house. That way you control the food being served, you keep costs low (eating out to dinner is expensive!) and you can keep busy playing hostess, which means you're not spending so much time eating. * Choose restaurants with good Soup. Soup is my best friend! * Share dishes with your close friends/boyfriend/husband. That way you don't waste * Check out any local tapas bars. Small portion sizes! * Don't forget to chug a large glass of water before you eat. This will help slow you down, make you feel full, and prevent you from overindulging. * There can be a distinct juxtaposition as to when your body says you are done eating versus when your brain thinks you are done eating. When you body is done, immediately throw your (paper) napkin on your plate, turn your fork & knife over, push your plate physically away from you. This will help you brain understand that meal time is OVER. * When you're socializing with people that don't know that you've had weight loss surgery, prevent an embarressing situation by announcing before your meal that you may have to get up from the table. I might say, "Just so you know, I kind of have a medical issue where food gets stuck in my throat. So if I have to excuse myself from the table, please don't think I'm being rude!" It honestly does help make those abrupt departures a little less quirky. I hope a few of those tips help! Feel free to share your own tips, too!!

True. However, maybe this is why alcohol becomes so attractive. I can't remember talking about addiction transfer either, however, as a reflux conversion patient I didn't have to attend any pre-op program and back in time nobody seemed to be too concerned about addiction transfer.

No worries mate. I am very open about my alcoholism and drug addiction. I forgot to mention I do work a program of recovery and hit one AA meeting a week. I also suffer from Major Depressive Disorder and OCD, I find its better to be open about these things as maybe my experiences can help others.

Such a great comparison. Last year, a crackhead broke into my house and went through me and my families things looking for valuables to pawn to support his drug addiction. I don't think my unhealthy relationship with food compares to the actions of a drug addict. And yes, if the OP without even thinking about it does a line of coke and chases it with alcohol before thinking it might have an effect on their recent major abdominal sirgery, they're an addict not an occasional user. Thanks for minimizing that.

O, I'll buy us a caffeine free ice tea and we'll be square. Not bubbles, caffeine or alcohol. Right? [emoji12] Sent from my SM-G930V using BariatricPal mobile app

And I think you need some serious help. If you are doing coke and chasing it with alcohol, you have way bigger problems than can be resolved in a bariatric support group. Maybe check out some rehab centers.

Dang, there's a lot of negativity on this post. She made a mistake. She realizes that she made a mistake. We've all made mistakes whether it's with drugs, alcohol, food, in life...whatever. Let's all remember what Thumper taught us all those years ago: "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all".

Thank u so much for an honest answer. I'm 3 months out this was the first time with alcohol and drugs ( I did this lots before wls) I just got drunkand kind of forgot about the sleeve and then panicked I'd wrecked all my good work I'm managing to keep water down today so hopefully it's going away... defo a lesson learnt

I originally had joined dailystrength a few years ago with this handle. My bf was in active addiction to alcohol/cocaine/ prescription pills and i made it b/c even though his family had given up on him, hope still lived within me that he would come through it. Today he is 20 months sober after 30 years of active addiciton. Now, hopeliveshere, signifies my new start, i have hope that i will overcome obesity.

Well, I'm with you. He should NOT eat that stuff in front of you, it's just down right disrepsectful. It's like an alcoholic trying not to drink and a freaking bar! He should eat those things away from you, not in your face. I mean being strong is on things, and I commend you for that, but dayum, he should do better, and think of YOU, and what your going through. I've been through the same thing, and it's not fun. I don't like it at all! But your success IS up to you! Don't let him drag you down, or keep you for doing what you need to do for yourself. some me don't want change, and they will do what ever they have to, to stop it. Don't let that happen! Take control of YOU!

I think for many of us part of our weight battle comes on as a result of some sort of sexual abuse. I too have my unhappy experiences. I had an uncle who although never touched me- he wanted me to touch him. He was a disgusting individual. I told my parents and they wouldn't let him babysit but... my mom was an alcoholic and nothing was more important to her then to go out to have a good time. When they were stuck for a babysitter- guess who they called. I was very young maybe 7 or 8 and I confronted them, but they wouldn't answer my question "I thought you wouldn't let him babysit me?" They wouldn't answer, me can you believe it? I knew at that young age I had no protection. I also remember a drinking buddy of my mom's daughter stayed over. I was around 11 and she told me about the sexual abuse she was experiencing at the hands of her own father. This girl kept saying "he wouldn't hurt me though, he only touches me" When I told my mother she said, "don't tell anyone, she is a bad girl" Honestly, when you think about it, it is just too heart breaking.

No don't have to use a specific type/brand really...just a lowcarb one.. but they didn't say that you could use a whey protein powder though...they just named the ready to drink ones.. they named the EAS, ATKINS, Slim-Fast, and maybe Isopure or something maybe.. I can't remember.. I'll prolly just get the other ones from amazon...those expired ones kinda scare me! OMG I had that 3 hour class today..the last half hour was exercising.. I'm exhausted.. unfortunately I haven't exercised in like 3 years.. but it felt good! I definitely had more energy the rest of the day. Otay.. does anyone know.. this liquid 2 week diet thing.. am I supposed to not have alcohol for these whole 2 weeks.. I know I should prolly just ask the nurse but does anyone know??

@smokey2112 get use to not having as much alcohol as before! I'm kind of scared of everything right now...talk about everything in moderation, geesh, what do I do now??? Glad I'm banded after the superbowl..lol...

It's so easy to feed the addiction now since sugar goes through the band so easily. In addition, artificial sweeteners do the same thing to me...make my blood sugar go up and make me crave sugar. I find that I'd just like an alcoholic. I can't touch sugar or I binge. I have to cold turkey off of it until the cravings pass. Then sometimes I fall off the wagon and binge. Just like an alcoholic....

There is a real problem when someone has a candida overun in their intestinal track. You crave sugar because it feeds the candida, then It can manufacture as much as 1 quart of alcohol in a day. The withdrawal from the sugar is really the candida slowing down the alcohol, and not producing as much as before. Long term antibiotic usage or a recent use of any strong antibiotic can kill all the healthy bacteria that usually balances out the candida problem. It can survive antibiotics because it is so large and prolific. It is always in our bodies, but it could be out of balance. I had a Dr prescribe probiotics that were enteric coated, so that they open into your small intestine. If you have an energy drop about an hour after eating sugar it could be from the alcohol that is produced by these little buggers. This is just a thought, as it does cause you to crave sugar. I hope you can find out why you are craving sugar so much. Good luck.

Unfortunately I don't get dumping so I wouldn't know about the sugar substitutes. Sugar alcohols leave a bad taste in my mouth so I stay away from those. If I eat too much sugar I'll kind of feel icky but it's not the typical dumping symptoms. I found a great sugar free chocolate substitute that doesn't have sugar alcohols either and it really tastes good. It's ChocZero's Keto Bark and can be found on Amazon. Good alternative, especially since my appetite may have gone away, my sweet tooth apparently has not.