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My tastes aren't different and nothing affects me differently, coffee or alcohol. Even though I rarely drink alcohol, I am not a light weight, my tolerance is still very high.

Can someone explain what exactly about the show was offensive? I am seriously confused. Am I misssing something? No one is really giving any specifics other than complaints about Oprah. She annoys me @ times too, so I understand that. And I'm not saying that the show is all about helping people. You can't cure someone w/an hour talk show, but it might clue someone that they have an issue. Or maybe listening to how the alcoholic mom affects her kids will show someone else how their kids might be feeling.

You have already done the hardest step which is to make the decision to end the madness. Really, that is key. Once you set your mind to make a change, the rest will follow. You just need to put in the hard work of following the post op eating plan, drink lots of water, exercising, cutting out the crap like high sugar, fat and salt. Cut out alcohol for 6 months. You can have it again after that, but get through most of your weight loss first. Alcohol is going to sabotage you because it will take your body out of being a lean, mean calorie burning machine. After 6 months, drink in moderation, like a couple a month to be social and to relax with the guys. I do this today. However, do not let alcohol become anything more in your life then that because you do not want a cross addiction nor do you want to get soft from it. I know you can do this because of the strong desire I read in the words of your post. Do not worry about exercising that much in the first 5 months. Getting your diet right, forming a good moderate exercise plan (read: not hard core) and forming a good set of habits are going to be your key to success. I always failed in the past to achieve my weight loss goals pre sleeve because I always tried to be a fiend in the cardio and develop a fad based diet at the same time. What ended up happening is I would get burned out from the exercise and then my eating habits were so unrealistic it would all go to hell around 6 months. This time it was different. After being sleeved, I got the lifestyle habits in place during the first 6 months, lost the weight I needed to lose a d then, and only then, stepped up the exercise and workouts to nail my fitness goals. Today, I can manage the eating and the exercise only because daily habits are in place. And they are ingrained, man. It is not work. I love to do it. I have to say my one habit i struggle with is eating slow. i can do the small portions and eating small bits, but i still woof my food. try to do perfect at this and you will have it all. All the success. You can have this vision of success! Just keep in mind my points about building up the good habits first before going balls to the wall with both a killer eating plan and workout strategy.

I may be a retired cop but I still each Alcohol and Drug driving Laws to Police Officers in Michigan. Your in a situation no one wants to be in. I think your Tough Love approach is the best. It is your house and your rules must be followed. Jenna as you know every state has different Laws on possession. In Michigan There is a new law for Drugs and driving. If one person is in possession in the vehicle all are charged. Vehicles are confiscated and forfieted all the time. The law is designed to make everyone else in the car check thier friends so no one is in possession. Our tough approach here has created, for the last four years, a steady decrease in deaths in cars from alcohol and drug use. He, his wife, the baby or even worst all three could be the victims with his use of the marijuana.

I did not get my band until I was 40 years old. I am one of those that wish I had had it many years earlier. I think about all of the torment I could have saved myself. Some people just don't get weight issues. It is our vice just like alcoholics use alcohol we use food. If we could just stop we would have. If you were an alcoholic at 20 she would not ask you why you felt you needed some type of intervention at 20. I was on ever diet known to man. I also would lose about 30 pounds on all of them only to gain back 40 once I stopped the diet. I dieted my way to being as fat as I was. The sad thing is that you will have more judgements and comments from well meaning friends and family as well as not so well meaning people so you need to brace yourself and be confident in your decision. I have had a couple of people make me cry especially in the beginning. The weight loss is so slow one friend said it didn't look like it was working. I had already lost 25 pounds and was crushed. Eventually, you will lose the weight and everyone will notice and then I had some try to knock me down saying I took the easy way out...like the band is easy! I also had one friend say I was loosing too much...I am still overweight just not obese. I think others try to knock you down to make themselves feel better about what ever in their own lives. I think you have to get prepared for the negative but there will be so much positive too!

Weight loss surgery is a life-changing event, and not something to be undergone lightly. Some weight loss surgery candidates know that weight loss surgery is for them, but many others are unsure whether it is time for them to get weight loss surgery. At best, it can help you lose weight and get your life back. At worst, it can cause complications or make you miss your old way of life. How do you know whether weight loss surgery is for you? Will it be the weight control solution you have been searching for for years? Or will it be a decision you regret? Nobody can answer that for you, but here are some considerations as you think about whether weight loss surgery is for you. The Qualifying Criteria You are not a candidate for bariatric surgery unless you meet certain criteria set by your surgeon or, if applicable, your healthcare coverage plan. The standard criteria are: Body Mass Index (BMI) over 40 or BMI 35 with an obesity-related comorbidity, such as type 2 diabetes, high cholesterol, or sleep apnea. Confirmation that your obesity is not caused by an underlying condition that would make weight loss surgery ineffective. A psychological exam to show that you are capable of sticking to the post-op diet and lifestyle changes that are necessary. Previous documented attempts at losing weight with diet and exercise. Ineffectiveness of Previous Efforts Weight loss surgery is a last resort, not a first try at losing weight. It is for patients who have been obese for years and who have tried to lose weight using lifestyle changes, such as a modified diet plan and a formal exercise program. Many weight loss surgery patients try “every diet under the sun” before deciding that it is time for WLS. They may have had trouble losing any weight at all, or may have lost weight initially but been unable to keep it off. Readiness to Change Weight loss surgery is just the beginning. The way you eat after weight loss surgery determines how well you will be able to control your weight for the rest of your life. You need to be ready to change if you want to be successful with weight loss surgery. No longer will you be able to down a pizza or hit the drive-through on a whim. Are you ready to possibly: Give up coffee and regular and diet soda? Cut sugary treats and fried foods, especially with gastric bypass? Pass on the alcoholic offerings at home, parties, and restaurants? Count protein, slash carbs, and measure portions? Addressing Other Issues Weight gain does not always take place in a vacuum, and weight loss does not solve other problems you might have in your life. First, identify why you became overweight in the first place, and what is keeping you from losing the weight. Is weight loss surgery the answer, or do you need to first deal with an abusive relationship or lack of self-confidence, for example? Emotional eating is a common reason for weight gain. If you tend to eat your feelings away, you are best off figuring out other ways to handle your feelings before you get surgery. Can you use walking as a form of therapy? Maybe you can join an in-person or online support group to turn to when you feel sad, lonely, or angry. If your emotional eating is related to a specific problem, such as stress at work, your best bet may be to handle the problem before getting WLS. That could mean finding a healthy coping mechanism, or it could mean getting counseling to help you work through the source of stress. It could even mean finding a new job, as scary as that sounds. Consider Replacement Addictions Replacement addictions are common after weight loss surgery. They happen when you give up food – which can be an addiction – for a different addiction. Instead of turning to food for comfort, entertainment, or companionship, some weight loss surgery patients turn to “replacement addictions” or “cross addictions” They may take up smoking, or start to abuse alcohol. Replacement addictions can also be healthier than eating; some weight loss surgery patients become gym rats or take up gardening, sewing, or other hobbies. As you consider weight-loss surgery, think about the possibility of food addiction being replaced by replacement addictions. What role does food play in your life now? What do you see replacing that emotional or physical role after surgery? The decision to get weight loss surgery requires a lot of soul searching for most candidates. These points can help you work through some of the doubts you may have as you try to decide what is best for yourself.

thanks for this I was wondering because I see a lot of people saying don't gulp because your band will slip. My mom has been banded 3 years and she still eat slow, but she eat what she want to eat still can't really do bread and she drink carbonated drinks and alcohol.

There are at least two ppl in my support group that admitted to Alcohol abuse post rny. It's very easy to trade one addictive behavior (over eating) for another (drinking, shopping, sex, gambling ect). If you see a trend I'd recommend counseling. I'm really not a fan of drinking so I don't think ill miss it.

@@ankinray rules about wine etc. vary depending on your surgeon. My plan calls for no alcohol until you reach maintenance, and then to exercise caution due to 1) liquid calories; 2) high rate of transfer addictions with wls patients; and 3) rapid absorption of alcohol into the bloodstream for post wls patients, which can make it easy to over-drink very fast.

My clinic said no alcohol for 6 months and beer would be carbonated.....no carbonation forever. Wine might a better option.

Happy birthday. I’m one of those who lost a lot of their taste & desire for alcohol after surgery. I went from a large glass or two every night to a regular glass once a month & sometimes I don’t finish the glass. Sure there are times I may drink more frequently or if it’s a long evening I might sip on a second glass but they’re rare. I say I go for quality rather than quantity now. So I drink champagne, quality gin, wine or whisky - well that’s my justification for spending a lot on a single glass - tee hee! I guess it just comes down to what you enjoy & can manage.

The regrets I have are in my head and related to food addiction... period. I miss being able to pig out on oh-so-yummy but horrible-for-me food that I used to love... for example this weekend is the Superbowl and our team is going to WIN.. GO HAWKS! My hubby will be making his famous nachos and I would love to chow down on some of those with everyone, along with all the other things that will be available but it can't happen because I will eat a tiny taste of a couple of things and feel completely full. Not to mention, no alcohol... so it kind of leaves me feeling left out sometimes I guess. But this feeling feels WAY BETTER than the feeling of being the fat girl in the room and self conscious and embarrassed and sick and tired and in pain and all of the medical conditions I dealt with so... that is what I remind that food addict when she creeps into my consciousness because I am going to look so cute in my new smaller size Seahawks Jersey and feel great while I watch my team take the Superbowl 2 years in a row! The regrets I do have are much smaller than the joys I have every day. I feel so blessed to have had this surgery and would do it again in a heartbeat!

I love what you said here. Just to put it out there, last night I brought home an Escape from New York large half cheese, half Canadian bacon pizza. A real NY style pie which is one of the best you will find on the West coast. I had just over half a slice of the CB. Your share reminds me of something shared at an AA meeting this past weekend. A fellow was in rehab following an intervention. He said he didn't drink all the time. He was able to control his drinking most of the time. He didn't believe he had a problem. A counselor then asked him to think about this next question, not answering it until the next day. The question was, when you are not drinking, what percentage of your mind is spent thinking about alcohol? This is when he realized he had a problem as after some reflection, he realized not only did he merely think about it, he romanticized it. The moral to my story is that even if we are able to control our consumption of a food with the aid of the sleeve, if thinking about it in an unhealthy manner occupies our time when we are away from it, perhaps it is something which should never cross our lips in the first place.

I am going to say something that will probably get me blasted by a lot of people. I drink diet sodas. And am sitting here kinda buzzed on Mikes hard lemonade. No problem with band. Am down 60 pounds since January. So it is possible to drink sodas and alcohol. Now.....i wouldnt recomend it on a regular basis. Diet sodas can most likely expand your pouch. The carbonation can give brutal gas/burping. And the alcohol is empty calories. But my feeling is that anything in moderation is OK if you realize what you are doing.I rarely drink and only have diet pepsi (not coke) occasionaly. I have lost weight steadily and plan on keeping it up. But if I deny myself totally I am more likely to fail.

I am being sleeved tommorow and I am not afraid of the surgery but starting to fret over the loss of my social life. Most always friend get togethers are over food and alcohol or dinning out.. My husband and I are weekend social drinkers, we have a boat and drinks throughout the day have become a norm. Its a good thing that I am 53 for I see it would be more difficult as a young woman in her 20's in todays society. We like to travel and go to places that are all inclusive but it looks like that would be a waste of money. Please help me with some tips on how to drink and eat sleeved yet still be safe.. I know it will be several months before I will even begin to experiment but If youve had similar experiences I wold like to hear from you.

Like the comment about infant stomach that's exactly what I compare my new self to. I am training myself to eat correctly and right amounts. Your new stomach can hold only about 2-4 ounces of food each meal. No drinking anything at least 30 minutes before or 30 minutes after. You will fill up with liquid and not get the Protein you need. My diet was no caffeine, alcohol, sugar, carbs. Just Water and protein. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Just be prepared that alcohol affects us differently now with the miniature tummy. The first time I had a drink , I was really surprised how much I felt it!

I'm on my third week and feeling good. I've been reaching my Water intake goal but was wondering other than adding crystal light what other beverages can I have. I used to be a Coke drinker for decades but none at all since surgery. Thank you for your suggestions. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I'm 5'9. I don't do super low carb, I probably stay around 60 grams of carbs a day. I log everything I eat and I have completely avoided alcohol. Thanks for all the positivity everyone!!!

Not catholic (Lutheran) but I took communion (bread and wine) 2 weeks post op and every week since. Never had a problem or a hiccup. I asked my NUT before and she just said start slow and be mindful of how i felt. The first 4 weeks I just took a sip of the wine, I didn't drink the whole little cup. And I kept the bread in my mouth till it mostly dissolved or I just kept chewing it even after I sat down (we typically don't do wafers). I am 3 moths out and I don't even blink with either now. That is the only alcohol I have done and it is SUCH a small amount that it has no impact. And that is the only bread I have as well. I was afraid I would have to do the gluten free wafer - but I seem to tolerate the homemade bread okay. Again, they are such small amounts. Good Luck!

Checking in on this Monday.....decided to do a juice fast and liver cleanse for a few days to clear out congestion and joint pain as well as general band care, a break from caffeine & alcohol, return to better habits, etc. The periodic fasting works well for me and usually gives me a new number on the scale that I can dance around with for a while. I think I have about fifteen pounds to lose, though I won't be sure until I get closer. Really working on toning these days. Got an inversion table (free!) and am doing crunches to tighten up my belly, which is still a little flubby. Missing the big walks and coming up with strategies for the winter. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! We are seeing our elders then sneaking off to the city for a couple of nights. Looking forward to the getaway.

VitaFiber IMO (isomalto-oligosaccharide) and FiberYum syrups and powders are now available at reasonable prices thru Amazon. Have any of you tried these products? Did they upset your stomach? Although I'm being careful to avoid sweet foods, there are just some things that need a little sweetening! So far I have tried and been unable to tolerate ANY sugar alcohols and sucralose (Splenda), which are in virtually every "sugar free" product out there -- I can't even chew a piece of sugar-free gum without stomach upset. Then there's stevia, which tastes so bad it makes me gag. Aspartame is ok but it's hard to find in products other than sodas. Plus inulin, another Fiber that's added to a lot of foods, seems to mess up my stomach too. And I'm wonderin gif this "isomalto-oligosaccharide" in VitaFiber and FiberYum is related?

wow good posts. i enjoyed reading all you have to say. I attended ACOA years ago. it was very helpful and good to see that i was not alone in some of my confusion.. my dad has been a recovering alcoholic for 28 years.... he stopped drinking when i was very young , I never witnessed him drinking. but the absence from the home was hard on my mother and all 5 children. fortunately my father got me involved in his recovery. my parents divorced and that is a scar that never healed. the exposure to AA and my fathers recovery was wonderful. my father and i are really close and the program helped my father to grow and become a wise man. i have learned a lot from my dad and his wisdom. he helps many people and is a blessing. i learned one important thing about myself. that is that im terrible at commitment. this is due to the divorce and unstable environment i was raised in. i always feel like if i get too close i will get hurt , that it is going to end eventually. everytime i had a fight with a boyfriend id break up and move away. extreme stuff that was unhealthy. i still struggle with chaos. sometimes we are comfortable with the chaos we were raised in and even though i recognize that it is unhealthy and i dont want to live that way, its like sub consciously i consider it normal. i enjoyed the meetings. i think it is wise if alcoholics get the whole family involved in the recovery, if possible. i understand the fear that you may feel, but i think the family can get help and learn even if you slip up and take a drink. i recommend surrounding oneself with people who have many years of recovery .

Nice of you to join us! Great Idea! I am an alcoholic, also with a family history of alcoholism, deceased d/t cirrosis etc. more family members than I have time to name. I have small children and what has driven me to AA is my oldest child who started to realize what was going on. Was your mom recovered when you were growing up? will you share your experience as a child of an alcoholic parent? I am curious to know the view of a child. I don;t talk to my son about my going to AA mainly because I have only been sober now for a couple of weeks and have been trying to get sober for 3 years, I don;t want him to see me fail so I don;t talk to him about it. I think it would be to grown up of a responsibility for him at this age to worry about me. Can you help me to know what he is seeing from the eyes of an 8 year old. Thanks

Hello, One of the things I've always cherished about twelve step programs is the honesty I found there. I come from a large family, ten girls and three boys. My mom died of metastatic breast cancer when I was nine, and after that were my first memories of my father's drinking. As a blind child I was sheltered, according to one of my sisters, from lots of things, but his rage wasn't one of them. Or his live--in girlfriend. I live with a lot of physical and emotional neglect, broken windows, horrible living conditions which I won't go in to, unless someone really wants to know. My father was the only one in the family allowed to get angry. He used to introduce me to his alcoholic friends as "my blind daughter,," and one time I made the mistake of pointing out how obvious that was. He was taking most of the money given to me by the state as a disabled child, until one of my older sisters stepped in. When his girlfriend pointed out that I had a broken window in my room, his response was, "She's got money. Let her pay for it." When I first joined Al-Anon, I was very angry, and refused to see my father's alcoholism as a disease. I'm sure my sponsor wanted to strangle me at times, because I wanted to just tell him what a jerk he was. While I never forgave him for the way he treated me, I was able to accept the fact that I couldn't change him. When I moved in with my sister, I thought that all my trouble was over. Little did I know that the effects of my father's drinking would follow me, and they would be things I'd have to work on, be aware of, probably for the rest of my life. My family can't understand why I refused to see my dad when he was dying. I felt nothing for him. He never denied he was an alcoholic, and told my sister he didn't want to beg anyone to come to see him. But he also asked me years ago if I believed he loved me, and I said no. That was very empowering to me. I have lost four of my sisters to illness, and a brother who was shot to death. I think they all went to their graves bearing the scars of my father's alcoholism, but for the most part, they had contact with him before they died. Not my brother, though. He was a pretty troubled young man. Thank you for reading this, if you've gotten this far. Thank you, Green Chrysalis, for this thread. Debbie