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Hi everyone! First post here...was too loopy before surgery on the liver-shrinking diet to post, but I'm drinking protein now, and have my wits about me (somewhat)...today has been rough, not sure if I'm withdrawing from Percocet but I've been tired and headachey. I also have to remember I have autoimmune arthritis, so this all can't be any picnic in terms of mixing that with the last six days... Had RNY gastric bypass done last Monday here in NYC at Mount Sinai St. Luke's. Everything went great. I got home Tuesday afternoon. Not a ton of pain but a lot of soreness around the midsection that made it tough to sleep, so took Percocet at night to help with that. Ran out last night, so also must keep that in mind, re: cranky- and out-of-sorts-ness. *Trigger Warning* Eating disorders... I went through the food dream "phase" (hoping it is just a phase, LOL), and also had weird thoughts today -- straight up addict thoughts -- like, what if I eat my favorite ice cream bar, bite by bite, chew by chew, and just spit it out down the garbage disposal? That way I'm not causing any trouble... Having been in alcohol recovery some time, I know that thinking to be downright insane. I have purged / restricted in my life, but that would be pretty blatant bulimia! Glad I could share that, and hope I haven't triggered anyone too badly. Anyway, I did this from a place of seeking health, taking stress off my back (which was fused after a slipped disc last year), reducing the autoimmune pain, reducing anxiety about being seen in public, as my weight spiraled out of control due to poor stress management through emotional eating. Cosmetics were last on the list, really just a bonus. Anyway, this forum is amazing, and hope to read more of you soon.

If I have anything with sugar, even sugar alcohol, in the mornings I have issues. This morning I had oatmeal made with 1/2 cup of milk, and I had mild dumping. Later on in the day it is okay. I haven't even attempted juice yet. I have no issues drinking water, so there's really no need to do that anyway.

I was told coffee will irritate the stomach pouch but even worse is it's a dieuretic. You need to stay hydrated and caffiene interferes with that. I gave up caffiene several weeks ago, and it wasn't too bad aside from having headaches for a week. I was pleasantly surprised and very happy that I am sleeping way better now. Alcohol is also a dieuretic. It's very bad for your healing stomach. Wine is acidic and will irritate it. With your changed digestive system you will become intoxicated sooner, on less, and it stays in your system longer. I get very tipsy easily anyway and in my own experience, I eat more and have less self-control when I drink wine. Those two things could be very painful and maybe even dangerous after surgery. I believe it's best to follow your doctors instructions for success and to avoid problems.

I am divorced from a miserable woman. She has deep seeded emotional issues from an alcoholic father who drank himself to death to get away from her and her mother. (what a pair). I'll share a nugget my therapist told me, I live by these words. "Is it better to take one big hurt now and get it over with, or suffer thousands of little ones before the end?" Just something to ponder. And I feel for you. I suffered the thousands of little hurts before I attempted to end my life to get away from her. In fact had I not known military first aid I would have bled out. "Until death do us apart" meant a great deal to me back then. Now I am more zen about life. Best of luck in working this out.

the numbers... lets start there because that's what matters here right!!! when i went into surgery i weighed 233# and today i am 221. i have been down on myself for these numbers mostly because it is easy to get into a comparison game with other wls folks and this is absolutely silly. i have lost 12# in a month and this is indeed spectacular! if i continued to lose at this pace i would be at my goal weight in six months! however, i know this may not be a realistic goal as my weight loss has been extremely slow over the past two weeks...according to my surgeon a 1-2# weight loss a week is what is expected with the lapband and any more than that is phenomenal. i have not been as diligent in tracking my measurements which will be key for me because let's face it, we all need some way to measure success, and if the scale is not moving it can quickly become...well, depressing. i picked up some new vocab while perusing this site and found that NSV's are also a cause for celebration! this may seem like a no-brainer, but i have never thought of doing this the past 800 billion other times i have tried to lose weight. so here are a few of my NSV's... doing some type of physical activity---> daily! sticking to allotted food items--->daily! logging my food, mood, and exercise-->daily! testing my blood sugars-->daily! trying to be encouraging and supportive to at least one other person on this journey--->daily fitting into a pair of jeans that are one size smaller! needing to wear a belt with all of my other pants! improving my time and distance when walking outside finding ways to celebrate that do not include alcohol and food my pain... my pain is virtually non-existent and i can pretty much do everything i was doing before surgery. i still have some discomfort and pain in the area of my largest incision at times. i am still not able to sleep/lay on my stomach and i still have some swelling in this area...(anyone else have this 4 weeks out)? also, i seem to have developed a slight headache issue...this happens at least once daily and i am not sure of this is due to my sugars dropping too low, a sign that i'm not drinking enough, or that i'm letting too much time go by between meals...i'm keeping an eye on it. a lump... i have had what feels like a lump in my throat for the past 3-4 days...i'm also trying not to read to much into this as i have had this feeling before pre-band and it has been attributed to anxiety...anxiety! what anxiety?! i have been off work for almost a month, completed school a week ago, have been eating better for almost two months and have been exercising daily for the past month...what gives? being on this forum i have come to understand that this is sign of other things, like being stuck, being too tight, reflux, gas, and on and on...i have not had a fill yet and i am able to get down liquids and foods just fine...i'm going to see my primary care physician this friday who is also banded and i will discuss this with her. burping... ok...so i am finding that burping has become...weird! about half of the time when i burp instead of going out they go in and then i spend the rest of the night expelling this gas from various places or burping outwards all that i burped in several hours later...does this make sense? anyone else experience this? burping outwards is grand! support... my biggest supporter in this journey, my husband, was banded yesterday! i am so happy for him and happy to have him take this journey with me! he has decided to name his band "wife #2"!!! i am thankful for this site and other social media that i use and for all that have commented on anything or reached out in any way! i am on fitbit, mfp, and youtube as phatkatblue please add me if you use any of those outlets...the more support and encouragement the better:) i have also found that getting on these sites encouraging others and reading their stories has been good for me as well... till next week in weight loss and beyond...

Hi, this is a topic that was requested of me to write this post and ask for help by my therapist. She believes many of you will relate to, even if you don't post back....I'm reluctant because: 1. It's a heavy topic for me to post on the internet, to people I will never know. 2. It's exremely painful for me to even venture in this territory. But it is something that is at the core of my where and who I am today, as a someone fighting to lose the psychological pounds I have put on over the years. I was brought up in a highly dysfunctional family (to put it lightly), and there was sexual abuse, emotional deprivation and abuse, alcoholism, parental fighting and divorce, self-harm, para-suicidal actions and more things that I can't access right now. I was raped and beaten repeatedly by a boyfriend in high school, my best friend comitted suicide, I married a wonderful man who is also an alcoholic, and last year, my Mother passed away from breast cancer. It was engrained into me as a child that I was fat (I wasn't even heavy or plump till a year after marrying my husband in 92) and utterly worthless. Most of me believes that to this day, but thanks to all of the therapy I'm in, medications and recently Al-Anon, I am learning that I might not be worthless. "might not". My reason for writing this...I feel majorly worthless right now (I'm in a tough place in therapy AND my go to, bad food, has been taken away from me, by choice) and am having a bloody hell of a time fighting all the negetive "voices" in my head, and adhering to my diet. I was banded 5 years ago, gave up on it 4 years ago and got unfilled, then found myself back in the Doctor's office wanting to try again, three months ago. For two months I did very well, losing 20 pounds. Feeling that I understood my relationship with food, eating very well. I thought I had it in the bag. But this month, I am deliberately buying junk food to sabotage myself. I want to "hurt" myself by eating junk food. Obviously I am not in a good place. My baggage got me to today, and frankly I am proud as hell to have made it to the age of 46. Albeit a confused 46. My therapist wanted me to ask of you how some of you overcame those negetive voices, hurtful relationships with food and became a successful Bandster. I'm not looking for "atta-boy"s or "you-poor-girl"s or "you-can-do-it"s...I'm down but not out. How do you fight the inner demons that make you reach out to bad foods for a coping mechanism? I mean, I know the tricks, but they're not working. I know that some day, I will know that answer, but it will take a long, long time. I want to be a successful Bandster like I was the last two months, now. You guys are doing so well, how do you do it? Can you even relate or am I just a freak? Bless you for reading my post, and I'm sorry if I annoyed you and please do not pity me. I'm just looking for support...

My stats are not impressive. I spent at least 8 months battling a cross addiction with alcohol. I'm better now and back on the proper path.

T-minus 14 days and I'm starting to freak out a bit! I apologize in advance if this thread gets a bit graphic. I plan to regularly post post-op pics to show the good, the bad and the ugly! There aren't as many pre and post-op pictures of black people showing scarring, bruising, etc, so I hope others will find these useful. Pre-pics are a bit low res b/c they're from a webcam, but hopefully my surgeon will provide his copies afterwards. I finally worked up the courage to schedule a brachioplasty and mastopexy. It's been dreadfully hot and humid in the DC area this summer and I'm tired of being too self-conscious to even wear short sleeves, much less the sleeveless ensembles everyone else seems to be enjoying. I find babydoll cut shirts are particularly obnoxious! I'm 29, black, 5'7", 177lbs (as of this morning). Pre-Op Arm Pics: I'm totally flexing in this one! lol but it helps show where the dangling skin is. According to my surgeon, I still have enough breast tissue to be a large C or small D when he's finished. I really wanted implants, but I'll heed his advice to at least give them a chance. If I still want more volume and a better profile, I can always add them during my next surgery. I'll admit my boobs look great in a full coverage bra, but they have an amazing ability to escape their confines. Seriously, I'll bend over to put something into the oven, and by the time I stand up, half my boob has managed to ooze out of my bra! Awkward. Pre-op Boob Pics: Well...there it all is! Now I'm busy scrambling and over-preparing for surgery. To those brave souls who have gone before me, in you post-surgery recovery did you use: - Vitamedica Bromelain wth Quercetin Nutrients with Anti-Inflammatory Properties - VitaMedica Arnica Montana - Biotin I'm going to ask my surgical staff, but I've read plastic surgery forums that have recommended them. Also, I live alone, so I'm hiring a nurse to stay with me for 2 days and someone to walk and feed my dog for a week. Is there anything you wish you'd had on-hand for your recovery that you didn't? So far I've purchased: - 2 long icepacks with sleeves - bed/sleeping wedge - 2 strapless dresses - Protein drinks - bathing washcloth wipes - 2nd compression garment (surgery center provides first one) - getting my hair braided so I don't have to worry about that! Yes, I'm a bit of a psycho, OCD, over-preparer... Upon the advice of the pre-op nurse, I've started taking a Multivitamin and Vitamin c twice a day. I'm also going to stop drinking alcohol today (well...tomorrow. lol). Thanks for your help!

Everyone is different. Believe me I miss food so much. I play tricks on myself. Sunday dinners I keep myself busy and sit down and eat when people are almost done. Alcohol is not a problem. I don't drink as much as I did but I still go out and have a good time. The smoking I quit but sometimes I have just a puff or two. It is all in your mind. I still sometimes think what the hell did I do to myself when I am craving a hamburger or deli sandwich and know if I eat the bread I will throw up. It bugs you in the beginning but when you go from a size 20 to 12 and feel 20 years younger than it is worth it.

Yes, absolutely. Set the small plate on the regular dinner plate as if it were a charger. Definitely coordinate with the host and bring your own food if soft food will not be available. Remember that you will be able to eat only a few small spoonsful of things like mashed potatoes, mashed sweet potatoes, pumpkin puree or pie filling. The turkey will need to go through a blender and moistened with gravy or it will get stuck. Stay away from alcohol and don't drink anything during the meals.

Hi, Yeas so maybe Anna Nicole abused drugs and alcohol, but I reckon a lot of us have ended up where we are from abusing food. Maybe Drugs and alcohol were Anna's port in the storm. At any rate we can't look down on her. She has lost her life so I would hope we could have a bit of compassion and grace for another person. Susannah:confused:

I am young as well. I started drinking again a week ago... 4 weeks out. Everyone said it would effect you differently but not for me. I can't seem to get anymore than a slight buzz. I can't drink fast enough to feel it. I'm fine with that though. I used to drink 7double whisky and cokes plus a few shots when I would go out... three times a week. So far, I have gone out twice and had just two single whisky sours. My doc recommends to never have alcohol because of cross addiction and empty calories, but I don't think it will be a problem for me.

Do you have an addictive personality? I noticed you asking about smoking earlier. I have an addictive personality. food, cigarettes, alcohol....whatever. But I'm trying to be healthy...and I just went 12 grand out of pocket to try to lose weight. And I've been quit on the smoking for over 2 years. So smokes and booze are not in my future (unless if it's just wine with a friend...and only occasionally. I'm not even planning that). And I'm not judging...I just didn't waste a bunch of money to be an addict to other things. I've seen too much cross addiction when researching this step in my life. You should ask your surgeon when they recommend drinking. Many say 6 months...some say a year. Then it's only supposed to be one drink at a time (I think). I didn't ask my surgeon about this, since I have no plans to do it. It's not recommended to drink a lot though....and alcoholism is a major problem with post GB patients.

It's not that I can't go out and not have a good time if I'm not drinking it's just when me and my friends get together we like having a drink or two as we talk. Not alcoholism or anything. This Wednesday is 4 weeks out and next weekend I honestly do intend on drinking a glass or two of something I feel comfortable with. Like I said me and all my friends are young, it's not a real excuse by any means but it's just what we do. surgery: April 28th~~~current weight loss 20 pounds

This may sound nuts, but it worked for me. I have a cup of Water with a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar and a teaspoon of honey. The problem with acid reflux, as I understand, is not that you have acid. It is that the valve between your tummy and esophagus doesn't stay tightly closed. Certain things trigger it to relax and others trigger it to close. Caffeine, alcohol, smoking all trigger relaxation in the valve and encourage acid reflux. Acids tighten the valve, hence why vinegar works. This isn't for everyone, but give it a try if you want. Works for me. Another good quick relief is maalox.

When I first was new on this forum I got reamed by hundreds of people because I posted something about drinking alcohol post op too early. I guess it was the way I put it that people didnt like. I was called an arrogant b***h , a troll, and even got hate emails. Things like that don't really bother me. I'm still here !!!i get a lot of great information on here andI really like this forum .I'm not gonna let those people interfere with my life. Stick around and don't sweat the small things

You mean 14 of your friends died in one summer? I don't even have 14 friends, so I can't imagine losing even one of them. You probably did deal with it internally by eating for comfort. I spent my teens self-medicating. Back then, I thought I was just partying, but I was diagnosed with severe Anxiety Disorder in my 20s. That's when my doctors told me that all my drinking was self-medicating in social atmospheres because I had social phobia. I must have really wanted to change, because at 41, I'm all about socializing! I've hardly drank in the past decade until my port went south. Now I have to wonder if my old days are creeping back up on me, because suddenly I find myself thinking about cocktails every weekend. It's weird. Giving up the food makes me crave alcohol, I guess. I've never, ever had to fight the urge to drink booze. This is a brand new craving. Odd.

Fine, take out the adjectives. You are still suggesting that if you continue on the path you and your doctor agreed upon for you that this is insulting to your host. It's a bit for us having unfills and such like an alcoholic wanting to drink on vacation. This is a lifestyle change, not something we use only when it's convenient. You can still eat all the same foods, just eat less. What is more important here, your health or eating to satisfy your host? If you are trying to lose weight and your host sees this as insulting, tough. It's your health. One of the problems that I see here is that if you look at the boards... when people get unfilled for various reasons they sometimes have a hard time finding a sweet spot again. It's the nature of the band. Read, you'll see what I am talking about. If you are at your sweet spot now why risk it?

Part of the problem with this discussion is that people are using loaded words like "huge," "gorge," and "overeat" that I did not use in my questions. I think somewhere between the 1/2 to 1 cup allowed by the band and huge/gorge/overeat is a reasonable compromise for 3 weeks with the knowledge that I will get the band re-filled as soon as I get home. I don't expect to be served claimjumper or otherwise supersized portions (one of the many good reasons Europeans are generally in better shape than Americans), but I know that no one will be putting 4 ounces of food in front of me either. And I'm not looking to put away multiple plates of Pasta. My intent is to eat with the non-band habits that I have painstakingly developed for the benefit of the band (and that you can see resulted in decent weight loss leading up to surgery earlier this month). This includes eating slowly, chewing thoroughly, avoiding drinking with meals, and limiting alcohol. Also, I will be continuing to exercise as intensely as I do here with the added bonus of walking around all day rather than sitting at a desk.

Well I’m assuming that you’re referring to healthy low-carb, high Protein food because otherwise why would a person even consider WLS if they don’t plan to radically change their diet, right? That being said, I’ve tried a few things in my 7 months that aren’t truly on the “approved” list. Mostly alcohol. Anytime I have alcohol it goes and stays down just fine, but the price I pay is slowed weight loss for a few days so I truly pick and choose those times carefully. Went to a wedding July 4th and had 3 glasses wine, some bbq brisket, smoked chicken , Mac and cheese, cole slaw and a couple bites of a piece of bread, and half a slice of wedding cake. Quite honestly everything except the brisket and smoked chicken (that I ate without the sauce) were the worst things I ate. All the carb-ey stuff tasted kinda weird and gross. The cake was just “okay” and people everywhere were raving about how delicious it was. *shrug* The wine was simply awesome and I’m kind of sad in a way that I haven’t lost my complete and utter love for wine. OTOH, at least I still do have this every now and again indulgence I can turn to. Okay, so let’s talk “healthier” options. One food I used to LOVE was eggs. Any kind cooked any way. I loved me some eggs. Now I can’t really even tolerate part of a boiled egg on salad bc eggs give me horrible cramping. Also mayo. Cannot have even a smidge of mayo or insta-cramps. Some would think maybe my gall bladder is acting up, but so far that’s been ruled out. I used to be (and still am) a complete salad mix freak. Thank goodness I can still put away a cup or more of leafy greens without difficulty. Some people can’t so I’m thankful. In fact, I’d be willing to bet over half my carbs daily (which isn’t much) comes from different salad greens.

Try sparkling water instead of soda. All the bubbles but no sugar or artificial sweeteners. The artificial sweeteners in the zero sugar drinks could be what’s upsetting you @naynay77. The sugar alcohol ones (any ending in ‘ol’) are the usual culprits.

Update: 20 weeks. Down approx 36lbs. Overall, I'm pleased. Slow and steady wins the race, and so far - knock on wood - things just keep headed in the correct direction; i.e. no re-lapse. I admit that it could be even better if I cleaned up some habits. I still eat fast food on the regular, and I was drinking A LOT of beer. I'm in the process of trying to cut back on the alcohol, so am excited to see what happens without an extra 1000 empty calories a day....

I believe I am a very good parent. I have always been very open with my children from the time they were old enough to talk about sex, drugs, alcohol, crime, you name it. I try to instil in them good morals. I try to teach them right from wrong. However, I am not with them every minute of every day. They are faced with choices every day when I am not with them. All I can do is hope and pray that when faced with those decisions, mom's good upbringing rings louder in their ears than the peer that is pressuring them and they choose to do the right thing. However, if they were to make a wrong decision, which thankfully they never have, I do not think I would feel responsible for that. I did everything in my power as a parent to teach them what they should do. That is all I can do. From there on out, it is up to them. The bottom line is, kids from good homes go bad and kids from bad homes go good. But, everyone needs to stop hiding behind their parents, childhood or upbringing as an excuse for why they do drugs, alcohol or crime and accept responsibility for their own behavior. I doubt anyone held a gun to their head and forced them to take that drink, smoke the pot, abuse a child, etc. They made a conscious choice to do it and they need to own up to it, accept responsibility for it and accept the consequences.

I agree with all of you but one day I would like I be able to have one piece of pizza on rare occasions. :-). No I do not want to make a habit of it!!! I gave up bread/buns, pop, ice cream and alcohol for life. I cut a lot of carbs out years ago. However, I like the 300 calorie meal and 100 calorie snack rule. I just never ever want to be the eater I was before. I did this to help control my intake.

AMEN! I know people who have had the surgery and then went right back to smoking, eating crap, drinking alcohol, hell...even smoking pot and just treating their body like garbage. What is the point? Then they complain about STALLS!