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While I agree that it is ultimately the alcoholic's responsibility to remain sober, it's helpful when you have a supportive spouse. It seems unrealistic, if not cruel, to expect an addict to stay strong early on in their sobriety when their spouse is routinely pouring a scotch night cap. I don't believe it's unreasonable to expect some support from those who live in the same house as you, especially in the early stages of this wl journey when we are still trying to break old habits and create new healthier ones. ETA; Thankfully we live in a rural area where there aren't any kids trick or treating. I love candy corn and I'm just glad I don't have to test my resolve this early on. =)

Yes. I would. The recovering alcoholic's sobriety is his/her own responsibility.

You felt restriction after your first fill??? CONGRATULATIONS! I don't think I felt any restriction at all until maybe my 4th or 5th fill. You will be on your way to the sweet spot in no time! But seriously, if you compare yourself to others it is a slippery slope to self-sabotage. Learn everything you can about how this tool works. I have read here that people have been told that having the lapband was "taking the easy way out". Nothing could be further from the truth. It takes work, and your success depends on how much work (i.e., exercise, healthy eating, etc.) you put in. Some of us have physical issues that slow our progress, some have emotional issues (i.e., emotional eating, compulsive eating, sugar addiction, etc.), bottom line is you have to keep working at it. Don't give up. Your doctor has an eating plan for you, figure out how to make it work in your favor. (Unless you are like me - my doc would give me a fill and say "tomorrow eat solid foods, no alcohol, no dessert". LOL Funny, but true.) Take your time, learn what works for you and do it! The band takes time and effort. You can succeed. This forum has a lot of support, take what you can use and leave the rest behind. Oh, one more thing, when I kept gaining and losing the same three pounds ... I STOPPED WEIGHING ALTOGETHER. Now I only weigh at the doc office. I let my clothes do the talking. And, believe or not, they are talking prettly loudly lately. YAY! Don't let things psyche you out. Keep a positive outlook and surround yourself with supportive people. You can do this! All the best to you on your journey. ~Fran

There are actually many drinks out there that leave out the carbonation. I usually go drinks like a White Russian or shots of liquid Marijuana. You could also have a margarita, martini, wine, screwdriver, Cranberry Vodka, Royal F***, Pina Colada, Bloody Mary, Black Russian, Godiva chocolate liqueur + cream Shots, etc... You could always just drink the liquor straight. My favorite is Captain Morgan's Tattoo Rum... It's yummy. The only problems I have with alcohol is that my tolerance for it has decreased. I usually can handle only one drink compared to the 5+ I could handle pre-op. Just try to keep the drinking to a minimal because it will prevent or greatly decrease weight loss. (Believe me...I tested this theory out)

can anybody tell me if they have any problems with alcohol after being banded,and what is the best to drink after op as most alcoholic drinks are fizzy.

Would you say cut some slack to a person who brought in alcohol when there was a recovering alcoholic in the house?? I'm not saying they can't eat it, there's plenty of places other than the house they can have it.... just don't bring it home.

Did you know you can get flesh eating bacteria from getting a pedicure, and possibly die from that? Doesn't seem to stop women from getting pedicures. Any kind of surgery is a risk, I was scared and got cold feet at times as well, but I told myself if it is meant to be it will be, and I had faith in my higher power, who happens to be God, but for whatever is your higher power, have faith. I know someone who has lapband. She and her husband had WLS together. He had bypass and she had banding. She was jealous as the weight just fell off of him, and she had to work at it. She told me a year ago that she would never recommend anyone get the band as all she can do is drink her calories and now she is an alcoholic. After doing my research I realized the band didn't fail her, she failed the band because she expected the weight to come off without effort. That is not the approach I wanted to take with my health.

Cheri......thanks for sharing your life with us. You are such a bubbly person. I just loved watching you dance. Apples....I hear ya on trying to make things normal. Living with an alcoholic made things predictably chaotic. I promised myself that my kids would have a sense of normalcy, but I didn't know what normal was other than" Leave it to Beaver". You know that wasn't real, but that is what I thought was real. Oh well, all in all, my kids turned out pretty good......except for inheriting my bad eating habits. Janet.......Whoa Hass! Don't get on my A$$ today. I didn't eat right today or exercise. Tomorrow......then you can stay on me. Water aerobics in the morning. I am sitting my GS too. We should find out tomorrow if he placed in the baking. Laura.....glad you got to hear from DH. I bet he is having a wonderful time. Post a pic if you can. Melissa......you are a beautiful woman. Take it from us old farts......we all wish we had lap band ten years earlier. You have an awesome opportunity to turn it all around before you are forty.......baby steps......one day at a time!!!

I told my parents, brother, a few relatives, and maybe 3 co-workers. People are so negative when it comes to weight loss surgery. They either comment on the complications, people re-gaining weight, or ask why don't I just try to diet and exercise. Most of these people have never had weight problems. People are more sympathetic to alcoholics, smokers, and drug abusers, all of which have some underlying psychologic issue.

Hi everyone, I'm alive, just been super busy -- so busy at work and then spending time with the family who claim they just miss the heck out of me when I'm gone. DH doesn't work, so I think he really gets super lonely when I'm away. And even little Merry has been clingy --and then there's Aylah. LOL. I feel so popular. Coming home Monday and stopping at Sam's and then dinner and home - didn't get home until close to 8:30 and then unpacking and getting back into the groove of working and the gym and Water aerobics I've been bushed all week. Sorry I haven't been posting much. Arlene, thanks for asking where I am -- nice to be missed here too. I've been thinking all morning about Eva in Argentina and Lori in Maine and hoping they are both having a fabulous time. Lobster sounds so delish yum-- it's been a long time since I've had lobster. Arlene, hope your Jakob does super well at the fair -- as a former 4-Her I wish him juju and the best of luck!!! How old is he? Jewell, you look fabulous!! Great job -- gorgeous gorgeous -- and great NSV at Disney - I felt that way riding the kiddie rides with Aylah at the fair -- and the rest of my family loved making fun of me and telling me those rides were "just the right size for you" -- in truth, they are since I'm short and now small enough to fit on them. LOL. So they thought they were teasing me but in truth, I truly enjoyed that teasing - felt like compliments to me. LOL. I had a wonderful NSV myself this week. My company provides us with a yearly wellness exam where they bring a company in who takes our blood, weighs, measures us and has us fill out detailed questinnaires on line and then they provide us with the results and quarterly check ups. Part of it is they score you from 0-100 on a "healthy" scale -- my score before lapband was 27 -- my score this year -- 90!!!!!!!!! Can you believe that? All my numbers are fabulous -- only problem I have now is one of my kidneys has very low kidney function -- so I need to get that checked out with my kidney specialist -- I had kidney failure a few years ago so I always keep an eye on that. It even said that my risk of heart attack or stroke in the next 10 years is 1% -- isn't that wonderful? Makes me all glowy and proud that I have accomplished so much in just such a short amount of time!! Welcome to our new "man" -- you'll do just great -- just keep checking in here -- would love to have your wife on here as part of our group too -- please let her know we would welcome her with open arms. Nee -- I apologize if I'm remembering your name incorrectly -- but welcome!! And congratulations on all your hard work and success! You are an inspiration to us all. Maybe one day we'll travel over to the UK to meet you in person!!! Happy birthday to John Lennon - unbelievable that he's been gone 30 years --- they did a aging photo of him -- god, maybe he's glad he died young -- he looked exactly like Ben Stein (minus the ear nipples). If you haven't seen Ben Stein recently, check it out - he has ear "nipples" -- trust me. LauraK, how's the new guy? Date night tonight? Hope it's still going well. Are you still running? Laura, sorry your are missing your DH - try to find some enjoyment out of your time alone with Nelson -- pamper yourself a little -- take some bubble baths - read a few good novels -- go to the gym more often -- work on YOU while he's gone - -surprise him when he comes home with a new sexy outfit or new sexy nightie. Dwell on the homecoming rather than the away time. You will both appreciate each other much more after you have this two week of seperation -- it really is good for you. Cheri, hugs on the past week - it was hard -- I can't imagine how tough it was -- I still think of a friend of Katie's who was killed in a stupid car accident when she was 17 so it's been over 10 years ago -- it's just too sudden a loss and too tragic -- our minds have a hard time with that -- I agree with what you said about early deaths -- first time I've heard anyone express it that way but I totally agree with what you said. Apples, hope everything is fine -- when I was in 6th grade I spent the night at a gf's house -- the next morning we were awakened by the sheriff pounding on the door advising that her dad had been killed accidently by a hunter -- he was a construction worker working on Sat. -- I've always been afraid of hunting season ever since -- really is scary when you live out in the country. Our weather's been harvest perfect -- so much different from last year. It's the type of autumn that I love so much -- nice sunny, dry days and crisp, cool nights and mornings - love this weather. Julie, hope you get some relief from the tens unit -- are there other types like Phyl mentioned? Perhaps you could ask about getting one that has the ice and heat -- at least worth a try to ask about it. The wedding is just a few weeks off - the time has flown by so fast. It will all work out well - do you have some friends that can help at the last minute so you can try to stay pain free? Wish I lived closer so I could come help you cook. Phyll, you are fabulous-- loved meeting you -- there were so many of us it was difficult to really have time to talk individually -- but we'll have many many more get togethers in the future. Joyce, thank you so much for the pics -- got mine yesterday they are great-- and the nice note - I enjoyed meeting you and our pool time too. Wish that storm hadn't come up. Darn it. Janet, sorry about the drama at work -- glad you and Andrew had that talk -- it's comforting for him to know that you are there for him -- I know you miss him - I hae the same issues with my step son every time he moves in or out. Didn't he get another dog, or am I remembering incorrectly? If he moves back in will you let him bring the new one? Jodi, glad you made it home safely -- sorry but I kinda agree with Cheri on the grandma/granddaughter treats - except if it was ridiculous -- a little treat is okay but shouldn't be over kill -- I do admire you for trying to teach Dassi about healthy foods. But, your DM absolutely should have taken every single bit of junk food home with her and not left it for you -- too tempting and I'm glad you held her accountable for that, she should never leave the junk around an addict -- would she leave a bottle of booze on the counter if you were a recovering alcoholic? I truly doubt it. Glad you were strong and threw some away. I live with junk food in my house -- my DH and kids buy it and keep it right in the pantry -- but it doesn't tempt me -- don't know why -- just doesn't bother me -- my DH buys Cookies, candy bars, pies, doughnuts, sweet rolls, etc., etc., etc. and I never ever eat even a bite of it I'd reather have a dinner roll smothered with butter -- (a little roll with my butter) now that would be more tempting to me. During that dinner at South Point I wanted those rolls and butter so badly -- was truly in agony over that. LOL. When we go for dinner here I just tell my DH to put them in the chair by him so I can't look at them. Isn't it funny how different our addictions can be? So much the same but yet so different. Also, Jodi, please please tell Jeff how much we appreciated all he did for us last weekend - so nice of him to take such good care of us. He's a very nice man. Hope I'm not forgetting anyone -- not intentional-- need to get moving here -- we are bbqing tonight -- have my chicken marinating and DH and the kids are having burgers. I'm going to make a huge salad to go with it all -- bought great baby spinach and spring greens at Sam's the other night - love to mix them up. Love you all and I've been reading but just no time to post. Will try to do better this week. Tried to download my pics at work and they won't download -- so now I think it's my camera that's the problem -- hopefully I'll figure it out. Bummer. Linda

I had one apt. He asked me question about my life, support, surgery etc... for about 10 min then I had to take a 600 true false question test, a 20 question test on drug and alcohol history and two other small tests simmilar to the others then I went home. But really dont worry about the phych eval unless you think this is going to be a cure all and you hear voices that tell you to murder then you should be fine.

There could be any number of reasons you're losing so slowly. Hard to tell just from what you posted, but here's my .02... Studies show that women who eat 1200 calories a day lose more and at a steadier rate than those who eat less. Just because a prepackaged food says "Lean" or "Healthy Choice", it doesn't mean they are. With very little extra prep time, you can put a piece of steak, chicken or fish on a Foreman Grille (or fry it in a pan), toss some fresh or frozen vegies in a steamer or make a salad. If you want to add some carbs, it can be as easy as heating up a package of Uncle Ben's precooked brown rice. Nutritionally, it will always be better than the prepackaged stuff (and taste better). Alcohol is *very* high in calories. A couple of drinks, depending on what they are, can put you easily over a day's calories...so can a 'little' cheating. Your best bet is to use something like Fitday.com (my personal favorite) and track everything you put in your mouth on a daily basis. Your total calorie intake may surprise you. What's your activity level? The more sedentary, the fewer calories your body needs to maintain your current weight. .

Blackberry! I was the original person who mentioned reading.. it's in Weight Loss Surgery for Dummies on pg. 133. Basically it's a chapter on "Knowing what you can eat for the first few months." Toward the end of the chapter, it has a "warning" like a little sidenote: For at least the first one to two months after surgery, you should not have any of the following foods or beverages, because they can cause stomach irritation and discomfort. Then there is a bullet list with alcohol, caffeinated beverages, carbonated beverages, citrus juices, etc.... One of the bullets is "Sugar and other sugar sweeteners, including the following: dextrin, dextrose, high fructose corn syrup, fructose, fruit juice concentrate, glactose, lactose, maltose, mannitol, polyol, sorghum, sucrose, turbinado. I took this to mean what is says. Any kind of sugar can be irritable to the stomach as you're healing. Which I was saying to the original poster who wanted to know why sugar free? So underneath this list it says, "There is a big difference between "sugar-free" and "no sugar added." You may be very sensitive to any sweetness following surgery. "No sugar added" may sound harmless, but a "No-sugar added" food or drink may have a high natural sugar content, and it can make you nauseated. Proceed with caution." Then on the bottom of the page, there's a big block with different sugar substitutes, mentions aspartame, splenda, etc... I hope this helps!

My suggestion would be to follow your surgeons instructions as far as eating and drinking. My surgeon feels that a non-carbonated alcoholic beverage, on occasion, is fine, but does not recommend it on a regular basis for obvious reasons. Alcohol is addictive and it's unhealthy and unwise to drink to excess. Our limited space is better used for healthy, nutrient rich foods. Whether or not you'll be able to take pills after banding is fairly individualized. Some of us can, others can't. You'll just have to wait to see how you do and make a determination from there. Some of us, like myself, take chewables and liquids when we can as a precaution. I'm lucky enough that I don't have to take prescribed meds so I can get all of my Vitamins and otc pain reliever in chewables. Foods that may get stuck or cause you to slime or pb, again, are very individualized. Much of this is going to be trial and error. What may work for us now may not work later. And vice versa. After the liquid and mushy diet my Dr. suggests that we eat whatever our bands will allow at any given time. (obviously he isn't talking about junk foods) He stresses that what may not work now may work later so always go back and revisit later those foods that are giving us trouble now. Don't let these posts scare you. We all have our own experiences and not all are horrible. Some, like the original poster, will have a difficult recovery while others, like myself, experienced absolutely no pain following surgery. I'm two weeks out and feel great. Again, if you've done your homework and trust your surgeon, just follow his instructions and you should be fine. Good luck and keep us posted on your progress.

I drink to excess every so often. I wouldn't recommend it but I did verify with my surgeon prior to surgery that drinking alcohol would be ok. If he said no, I would have either not had surgery or found a surgeon with a different answer. I take 7 pills every morning and 3 every night and have not had one get stuck yet in the 7 months since surgery. There is NO wrong stuff for everyone. I have no problem eating anything except soft corn tortillas. It all depends on the person, how tight their band is and if they chew enough.

You are all scaring me!! Wow this thread is discouraging. I am going to be banded on October 14 and I have done tons of research but I am still very confused. I am getting MANY mixed messages. I was told no alcohol and have read several posts of people drinking to excess on the weekends. Huh?? Did I miss something here? Also, I was told that small pills and supplements would be fine and I am reading that everything must be liquid?? Reading also about folks eating all the wrong stuff when I thought that all the wrong stuff is supposed to make me sick?? I really want this to work but some of the stuff on these forums is discouraging :-(. Also the mixed messages are confusing me to the max! HELP

From what I read your body burns Alcohol first then carbs then fat for energy ...maybe the drinking did it.

I am the lone sugar consumer. Personally felt I somewhat jeopardized my future health with this radical surgery and truly felt all the artificial crap might only make things worse. I have this tiny stomach with no room for error. I felt putting a bunch of unnecessary chemicals might be a bad idea for me. Everyone was doing the shakes and I drank real broth and did little shakes. All the artificial stuff is more aversive to me than ever. So I stick to agave and sugar. Others have lost faster than me, but I have lost consistently. I chose the surgery and am so thankful for the weight loss. But I just feel very protective of my lil sleeve. I do not drink alcohol or cokes hardly ever. I take antacids only if needed. I just try to listen to what sounds right to me. Don't be afraid to listen to your own common sense, whatever that might be.

When you type "lap band" into google, this forum is probably on the top 5 websites listed. That is the reason why you hear more negative things than positive. People go here because they are scared, worried, paranoid, whatever. So they post it here. Most of the time it's nothing. Other times it's serious. Trust me, you will eat. I still eat. I wish I didn't eat. But you have to eat! If you don't eat you won't lose weight. So don't worry about not eating. I also drink alcohol, but I'm not a drunk so I only drink it once in a while. I also have soda once in a while (I shouldn't though - actually no one should drink soda. It's bad for you!) I was in a lot of pain. It was the worse pain I've ever felt. I've never had children, so I don't know if that's saying much. The pain does go away. It's just frustrating. I would have the surgery all over again if I had to. There is no way I could lose 67 all by myself.

Omg Im hoping to have the surgery in Dec or Jan! Because I need to do the 3 month "diet". Im going for my 2nd appt this month and then last appt in November. Hopefully it wont take long to get approved and Dec BooM! But I keep hearing more negative than positive lately on this site. What is going on? I hate pain, im a big baby and now am thinking do I really want to do this? Am I going to miss food and alcohol? Im afraid of being in paid and not being able to eat ANYTHING

I am so with you on this! I too am a food addict and you are so right, the best combat for addicition is abstinence but you can't abstain from food like you can from drugs, alcohol, etc! It's a daily fight that isn't going to go away ever. But you can do it, you have a great tool to help (the band), just take it one day at a time, every victory over food will make you stronger. Also I've found for me sugarfree popsicles and jello help because they satisfy my sweet and chew needs.

lol @ honk..three ice creams...that's funny! well i think it's kinda funny that you don't understand where you are going wrong. I'm guessing by reading the comments on here that alcohol has alot of calories..i don't drink so i wouldn't know. I know it's hard not to cheat [although i've followed the doc's orders since i've been banded]. I would kill for a cheese burger and fries but i know that is why i'm at this weight in the first place. Like someone said..you are looking at this as a 'diet' when it should be looked at a life style change. i do have to commend you for admitting it..i'm sure you knew you'd get alot of feedback. Just remember WHY you got banded in the first place! good luck to you though!

So how much ARE you taking in on the weekly "cheat days?" What types of drinks are you drinking... and the snacks that *usually* go with them? You might be surprised by the calorie content of some alcohol drinks. I LOVE margaritas... but that can have some SERIOUS calories associated with them. Especially when they are drinks the size of your face. (When did they start supersizing margaritas? My lord!) It's easy to undo a whole week's worth of low-cal eating with 3-4 of those bad boys. Easy.

I'd lose tons of weight eating that, processed food is not good for you and I'd quit it but I really believe weight loss is about calories and little more, so there is a puzzling equation that's just not working out there. I'd really quit the treat days, obviously its just too much at this point in time. You work out a lot, I'd be tempted to try eating just a bit more healthy food on a daily basis rather than alcohol at the weekends. And you might just lose very slowly, but weight loss is STILL weight lost, no matter how much or little it is.

How far are you? I think at about 3 weeks I could sip some wine and it was ok. I'm two months in and alcohol goes down fine. I haven't even had any problems with fizziness.