Search the Community

When I had my psych consult (pre-op), the therapist said I hadn’t failed those scores of diets over the years; the diets had failed me. Having had the bariatric surgery, I have to say this: No, it has not been easy, but I feel like my body is my friend now, and I’m not always fighting it to get my weight down.

Wow. Thanks, Sunnyway! I appreciate the comprehensive list of books. I’ve got “Weight Loss Surgery Does Not Treat Food Addiction” in my Amazon cart. I will check out “The Success Habits of Weight Loss Surgery Patients”. I am really hoping it won’t say cooking for myself. I’m single and live alone. It looks like there are some bariatric food delivery services. Thank-you again.

You know what’s even better then losing weight? The amazing amount of confidence you gain after! In no time negative comments won’t even phase you. I think we can all lose weight but doing it in a fealty way and keeping it off this time is what will make all the difference of having the surgery vs diets etc. good luck to you!

I've come to realize that I am also a sugar/food addict. I've read a ton of books, some of which I will share with you. OA, a 12-step program, is an excellent support group. I haven't joined OA but I know its out there and available to me. I had WLS in 1990, received no nutrition guidance, and was pretty much left to my own devices. I lost weight during the post-op honeymoon, but as time passed I could eat more...and I did! I regained every pound I had lost and returned to my original set point, where it stayed for the next 25 years despite a variety of weight loss program. I could never keep lost weight off. I only recently learned that my RNY can be revised. I wasted a lot of time, but I'm going to give it another shot. This time I have lots more information at my fingertips. Pre-operatively I have sworn off sugar, flour, wheat, rice, starchy vegetables, and processed foods. The first couple of weeks were hard but now I rarely get cravings or head hunger. I've lost 43 lbs. since the first of April. I know that abstention is the only way to prevail over addiction. I intend to continue with this post-operatively also. Since you already know you are a food addict, I recommend the following: Food Junkies: Recovery from Food Addiction, by Vera Talman Weight Loss Surgery Does Not Treat Food Addiction, by Connie Stapleton Why Diets Fail (because youʼre addicted to sugar), by Nicole Avena & John Talbott Baratric Surgery & Food Addiction, by Philip Werdell (written for the clinician, but I found it valuable} You might find Kay Sheppard's books relevant, since she advocates 12-step programs: Food Addiction: The Body Knows and From The First Bite: A Complete Guide to Recovery One more book that I highly recommend is The Success Habits of Weight Loss Surgery Patients, by Colleen Cook. I've also discovered that there a plethora of Bariatric Cookbooks now. My favorite is The Bariatric Guide and Cookbook, by Matthew Weiner.

There are a ton of bariatric cookbooks on Amazon including those for Air Fryer, Instant Pot, and Crock Pots. I particularly recommend The Bariatric Diet Guide and Cookbook, "Easy Recipes for Eating Well after Weight Loss Surgery" by Matthew Weiner. I also like The High Protein Bariatric Cookbook, by Stacy Gulbin and Weight Loss Surgery Cookbook (for Dummies) which is a companion to Weight Loss Surgery for Dummies which every WLS patient should keep handy. I would encourage everyone to read The Success Habits of Weight Loss Surgery Patients by Colleen Cook, available on Kindle. Hard copy can be found on used book sites like Abe.com It is not a cookbook, but address long term success post surgery.

the difference this time is that it will actually "work" as long as you put in the effort. On previous diets, I'd lose 50 lbs (that is, on my more successful tries), hit a brick wall, and then the weight would eventually come back. You are constantly fighting biology. This time, you won't be fighting biology. That has all been reset. a 10-20 lb regain, usually in year 2 or 3 (after you hit your lowest weight), is very common - I knew that going into it and purposely lost a little more than I wanted to, knowing it was quite likely I'd end up where I wanted to be in the first place. But gains beyond that are due to bad habits creeping back in. You do have to be diligent. I still closely monitor myself, and I'm over six years out.

You are not alone & you’re not a F-up. We all likely have experienced various degrees of success losing weight in the past but I’m 100% positive we all failed at keeping it off. If we had been successfully at keeping the weight we’d lost off we wouldn’t have been obese & lined up for the surgery. And I’m pretty sure at some point & in varying degrees we all worried that the surgery wouldn’t work for us either. I’ve never ever been able to maintain a low weight for longer than a month or two. I’d get complacent, think oh eating this won’t hurt. But it did. And very quickly I’d have gained a lot back & I’d be lying in bed at night saying tomorrow I’ll eat better just as @Officially Not Fatty Matty said. What’s made this time different for me is that I realised that I had to really look at what I had been eating, my eating habits & why I would want to eat. I also had to come to accept that this wasn’t a short term diet restricting what I ate for a few weeks or months but a complete forever change of what I ate. I realised if I went back to the way I used to eat, I’d fail again & end up exactly where I had been - obese. If I hadn’t had these ‘come to Jesus’ type realisations I know I would not have lost all my weight & actually be maintaining it. Yes, the surgery helped by reducing my hunger & reducing how much food I can physically eat. But most importantly it gave me the time to reflect on the what, how & why I ate & start to put in place the changes I wanted & needed to make to be truely successful this time. The change of mind set was vital. I was able to do this myself but others seek the support of a therapist. Don’t be reluctant to seek help if you need. There are lots of people on this forum who have had lots of success doing so. It can be very scary to try to imagine & understand how & what you will eat in the future & how you will cope without your old emotional crutch foods. Food grief is real. A therapist can help. The cravings, our emotional drives to eat & our own proclivities never go away, we just learn to better recognise them & develop strategies to manage them. Any one can learn to cook (my sister-in-law’s 74 yr old father just learnt cause his wife died) & this is a great time to experiment. You don’t have to get good enough to enter MasterChef. Simple basic home cooking is all you need but if you enjoy it … I always cooked but have to admit I cook pretty simply now. Food has a different purpose. I look at food more as a source of energy & not as a way to satisfy some craving, an emotional support or social activity. It still has to be yummy but the nutritional content is equally or more important. Sure I have cut a lot of things out of my diet but I still enjoy everything that goes into my mouth. Honestly, when I look at fast food ads, social media pxts of overly sweet foods, massive portions, etc. I’m revolted now. My stomach actually turns over. This is my story & what has been working for me so far. Reality is I’m still pretty much a newbie & am still learning. Like @Jaelzion, I don’t know what the future will bring. Life can throw a lot of crap at you at times. I’m in the dangerous third year when the possibility of the 10lb+/- bounce back regain is high. But damn I’m gonna work hard at continuing to watch my calorie intake & being careful about my food choices. All the best.

Weight loss has slowed down to a crawl. I am 23 pounds from Goal still and beginning to worry I will never get there.

My stats are very similar to yours - I was 54 at the time of surgery, I'm 5' 1" and my top weight was 250 pounds. I really wanted the bypass too, but it turned out it was medically contraindicated. I got a 2nd opinion and that doctor agreed it was too risky for me. So I had to go with the sleeve. I was super disappointed because I had read that bypass patients tend to lose more of their excess weight. I had the sleeve and it turned out to be really effective for me. I had no complications and I lost all my excess weight. The big difference is, there was an actual medical reason why I couldn't have the bypass. If you're a good candidate for either surgery, then you should be able to choose the one you want. The post-op experience is not exactly the same between the two surgeries and you're the one that has to live in that post-op body. So, maybe get a second opinion and see if there is any legitimate reason you shouldn't have the bypass. If you get the thumbs up, then you'll have to decide whether or not to find a new surgeon. Sorry you've hit this road bump - the good news is, either surgery can be effective, so whatever you decide will probably work out for you.

I rarely cook these days. I cooked a lot when my Dad was living with me, but now that it's just me, it seems like a lot of effort to cook for just one person. Plus, since surgery, I rarely sit down and eat a full meal. I eat mini-meals throughout the day. I'll buy a rotisserie chicken or baked chicken breast from the grocery store a couple of slices at some point in the morning and a couple more at some point in the evening. I'll eat a fried or boiled egg. I'll eat a yogurt. I like to munch on baby carrots. I start the day with a low-carb latte. Now that I am in maintenance, I eat fruit. I'll eat a cheese stick (or two). So the post-op diet can be done without a lot of cooking if you wish. I will say it's easier post-surgery because my appetite is about 65% of what it was before surgery. Right after surgery, I had no appetite at all, and it returned slowly. But never to the same level as before. And post-op I rarely have a strong craving for anything. Everyone doesn't have that experience, but that's how it's been for me, so far. Like you, I had not been a normal weight since childhood, so my new body is still somewhat surreal to me. I've lost all my excess weight, but some degree of regain is pretty common. You only have to review the forum to see that. And a lot of us know that person who had weight loss surgery, lost an incredible amount of weight and gained almost all of it back. I'm about 2 and 1/2 years out from surgery, and I've only been in maintenance for about eight months of that. So I'm not an expert on maintenance by any means. But I'm trying to keep myself accountable as best I can. For me, that means that I track my food, I weigh regularly, if I see my weight creep up 5 pounds, I immediately cut back and try to get it back down. I have an occasional treat (like cake or pie or something) but normally I stick to my maintenance plan. I don't plan to regain, but I know it can happen. I don't know what I will weigh in 5 years (shoot, I don't know if I'll be ALIVE in 5 years, LOL). But while I'm here I will keep fighting the good fight! It would have been a losing fight without the surgery but I feel like I have a shot at keeping the weight off now.

I'm wondering what in the world makes me think I can do this. What makes me think I can keep to the diet post op? I'm so lazy when it comes to cooking. I don't have a lot of spoons where that is concerned. I don't have room in my kitchen. I am not a good cook and I hate making anything vaguely complicated. I was ordering takeout two times a week until recently because I don't like cooking. Now I have to learn this whole new way of cooking and the mere thought stresses me out. I need cookbooks for idiots with no cooking skills, and I need more spoons. I hate cooking. I'm going to hate trying new recipes even more. I know, I know. If I think I can't, then I can't. But I'm really torturing myself over this right now. I don't want to fail. I don't want to mess it up, but let's face it. I have failed every diet lifestyle change I have ever embarked on, even though I told myself that the change HAD to be forever. I don't know what the hell my problem is, and why I can't do it, but I haven't been able to do it in 41 years, and I don't know what makes me think that this time will be different. I read about people experiencing regain and it scares me. I have been fat my entire life. I started dieting when I was eight. I'm particularly miserable right now on this liver shrink diet, and I don't know what to do about it. I know my diet won't consist of the same thing every single freaking day the way it does right now, nor will it be two shakes a day which leave me hungry or a salad that leaves me hungry. But it's reminiscent of every diet I've ever done, where I was hungry all the time, and eventually cracked. The smaller stomach will help with that. I am, however, worried about my own proclivities. Just a small cheat here, just another cheat there, and the next thing I know I've undone any good I've done with the surgery and gained some or all of it back. I need someone to lie to me and tell me I can do this. That I'm not going to be a huge failure at this the way I've been for my entire life with dieting lifestyle changes. You're not a failure until you give up, bla bla bla. Maybe it's time to give up. Just keep in my tiny world of work and home until I die young because that's what I deserve. I mean, why would I change the way I'm eating permanently? Eating garbage almost works. It almost fills that void, and if you have something that almost works, and maybe next time will be the time it works, why would you stop for something completely unknown? I'm utterly miserable on this diet every day come dinner time and for the rest of the evening. I don't want to be utterly miserable on the new way of eating forever, nor do I want to do the inevitable thing of falling off the wagon and regaining some or all of the weight. Maybe I'm just not meant to be a normal weight. I haven't been my entire life, what makes me think I can start now? I know, I'm feeling awfully sorry for myself at the moment. Not sure what to do about it. Or if anything can or should be done about it? Am I going through all of this and spending all of this money for nothing? Should I even bother? I'm not just down about it. I'm in a panic about failing. So yeah. Lie to me. Tell me everything is going to be ok, and I'm not a perpetual eff-up.

hair loss can be a side effect of any major surgery - and childbirth, for that matter. It can also be a side effect of rapid weight loss. So we've got the double whammy - triple, really, because in addition, we're also taking in very few calories those first few months. So I think we see the hair loss side effect more often with bariatric surgery than we do from other types of surgeries. mine lasted about three months - and that's fairly common. Not much you can do about other than keep on top of your supplements and make sure you're meeting your protein requirements, since that can keep it from getting any worse than it would otherwise. And know that it'll eventually stop and the hair will grow back again...

a 10-20 lb regain during year 2 or 3 is pretty common. If you want to lose more weight, you'll have to create a calorie deficit - by either eating less or exercising more - or both. Some people just go back to the rules we got from our programs - not necessarily all the way back to purees and protein shakes, but the whole protein first, then veggies, tnen - if you have room and are still hungry, a small serving of fruit or whole-grain carb. Others have had success with Weight Watchers or Intermittent Fasting. it can be challenging to lose weight after those first magical months, but, it can be done...

I was so afraid it wouldn’t work for me, but it did. I was 160 lbs heavier last summer- miserable, sweating, embarrassed by how I looked, and not wanting to do anything. I’m only a few pounds away from a normal BMI now and I run every day, I have energy, and life is better in so many ways. Both of my kids wanted to be carried down the hall the other week and I realized that together they are 80 lbs, half of what I’ve lost. The weight of them as I was trying to walk was huge- how the hell was I living my life with twice that weight? For what it’s worth all the calculators said I only had a 20% chance of reaching 203 with the sleeve, and was more likely to end up 225-250. I am 180 lbs, almost 10 months out. I said once I got that tool I was going to use it. I have and I still am.

So I'm about to lose my **** lol. I'm 2 years out from surgery and the first year was a wonderful transition. Now I just feel I've be nothing more than a failure. Now that its pretty much a quarantine, I've gained a bit of weight like 10lbs and sunlight kills my eyes lol. MASKS in the summer are so sweaty soooo sorry for viewing So my loves, DOES ANYONE Hate it lol

Here's the Weight Loss Magic Soup I've been making. It's delicious, filling, and has only 57 calories per cup: 32 oz chicken stock 3 cups V-8 juice (you can use low-sodium V8 or even tomato juice, homemade or store bought) 2 cans Italian diced tomatoes 1 small onion 2 cloves minced garlic 1 package sliced mushrooms 3 carrots, peeled and sliced 1 zucchini, diced 1 yellow squash, diced 2 cups fresh or frozen green beans 1 can kidney beans, drained and rinsed 3-4 cups shredded cabbage 1 teaspoon Italian seasoning Salt and Pepper, to taste In a large frying pan sprayed with cooking spray, sauté garlic, onions, carrots, and mushrooms for about 5 minutes. In a large crockpot, combine sautéed garlic and vegetables with the remaining ingredients. Cook on high for 2-3 hours, or until vegetables are cooked. (I have made this in a large stock pot on the stove instead of in a crock pot.) This makes a large batch of soup. If you would like to freeze portions of it to use later, undercook the vegetables just a little. Pour the soup into freezer Ziplock bags and let as much air out as you can. Lay the bags flat on a cookie sheet and freeze. Once the soup is frozen flat, it is easy to layer in your freezer and won't take up much room. To thaw, place the bag in the fridge for 24 hours and then reheat. https://www.favfamilyrecipes.com/weight-loss-magic-soup/

My clinic's pre-op food plan is low carb/high protein until two days before surgery. Those two days are "clear liquids only". The pre-op diet avoids starchy vegetables, rice, anything made with flour, any fried foods, any processed foods. It also avoids fruit, which is a sticking point with me. Yes, fruit has carbs, but it also has fiber and the body processes it differently from other carbohydrates. I've lost weight while eating fruit, but they cracked down on me, saying I was "non-compliant", so I've had to wean myself off fruit. I still don't have a surgery date for my RNY revision, but it is likely to be in October.

It's been almost 4 months since my surgery and I am down 35 pounds. I am trying not to get too discouraged with the loss of weight at this point and continue to be patient as I know it will come off, eventually. However, I'm feeling some type of way about my hair starting to fall out. I take all my vitamins every day and I eat enough protein on most days. How long will this phase last? Can anyone offer insight?

First: Yes, we are all different. Second: looking solely (and comparing to others) at TOTAL weight loss at a certain point in time (i.e, at the 8th month mark), does not give the REAL picture of weight loss rate. It doesn't take into account a persons current weight, height, how close they are to goal, etc. Your 2lb weight loss in month eight could actually be statistically "better" than your 15lb weight loss in month 1, depending on what your current weight is, and how close you are to goal or baseline. *** I'm about to get into MATH MODE, so for those whose eyes glaze over at numbers and formulas, the gist is the following, and you can skip the rest, lol: To attain a more telling view of your rate of weight loss, look at weight loss as a percentage of excess weight lost during period x, instead of total weight lost. *** Now for those of you who stuck around to read my schpiel, here goes: Assumption: BMI 25 used as the baseline for goal and calculation of excess weight. I understand that using BMI as baseline is inherently flawed, as it doesn't take into account an individual's biological makeup like muscle mass, bone density, etc, etc., but its the best we can do at an elementary level. I mean, really, not all of us have calipers or full body scanners in our basements, lol. To calculate rate of excess weight lost (rLoss) for a specified period: total_weight_lost_during_time_period / excess_weight_at_start_of_time_period notated as.... rLoss = ( x0 - x1 ) / ( x0 - G ) Where: G = weight at BMI 25 for one's height. x0 = weight at start of monitoring period x1 = weight at end of monitoring period Using my own numbers as an example, at 5'2", my BMI 25 weight is 135. Month 1 (m1): 223 : weight at beginning of m1, 201 : weight at end of m1 25% : excess weight loss rate, calculated as: rLoss = ( 223 - 201 ) / ( 223 - 135 ) Month 6 (m6): 138 : weight at beginning of m6, 129 : weight at end of m6 300% : excess weight loss rate, calculated as: rLoss = ( 138 - 129 ) / ( 138 - 135 ) So really, in m6, although i lost less than 1/2 the total weight I lost in m1, i actually did much, much better (statistically) as I was much smaller in m6. Now fast forward to Month 8, the month you are specifically asking about. I was below BMI 25 by this point so this formula would not apply since my excess weight was zero (I was 119). Despite this, by the end of the 8th month, I lost 2 lbs. So yeah, the weight loss seems to have slowed down quite a bit if you only look at TOTAL weight lost (2 lbs vs the 22 in m1), but when you look at the lbs loss as compared to my actual body weight at the time, it was statistically a waaaaaaaay better rate. Ta-da! MATH, y'all. P.S. I was 116 this morning. P.P.S. Sorry this was so long.

You may not feel restriction with the portions you are expected to be eating. For some reason I could eat more than expected at any given stage if I wanted. I did feel restriction just not as soon as expected. I am almost 6 months out now I COULD eat quite a bit more than I am supposed to. I think this is uncommon and the other responses are far more likely but even if it’s the case I just stick to measuring out what i should be eating and I am losing weight just the same.

+1 on the strategy of Delayed Gratification. I used this approach throughout weight loss phase, and even now at almost 3 years out. People often ask how I can stand to be around so much food goodness and not eat any of it (or much of it), and its really because I don’t really say “no”… I just say “not now”. Works for other things in life besides food; shopping for clothes, quitting smoking, delaying the urge to confront someone when they do something annoying, getting a tattoo. When an impulse or want comes, sit for a bit or do something else for a predetermined amount of time. If you still really want to do it after the time elapsed, go ahead. If unsure, wait another bit of time. If the burning desire is gone, congrats, you just managed an impulse! On the flip side, delayed gratification *may* have some unintended effects: i am also a huge procrastinator 😂

I never had a binder after my weight loss surgery, so not sure. I never had a problem with walking, though.

I think one thing to take into consideration is we all carry our weight differently. A lot of mine was in my abdomen. As soon as my nurse saw me use my hands to support my abd to get up she got me an abd binder. It made such a difference. I only used it for a couple of weeks and then didn't need it anymore. Funny thing is, I saved it thinking I would need it after plastic surgery. Well, I forgot I wasn't going to be the same size! After my tummy tuck I needed a size XS binder, the one after my WLS was an XL! I did purchase one from a medical supply store to alternate with the one I got in the hospital because I had to wear a binder for a month while my drains were in after plastics. After the drains came outI could wear my compression garment. So, it isn't really required, but does make life a little easier. Good luck.

There’s a lot of variations in the pre surgery diets. Mine was real food too - specifically keto. So I ate meat, eggs, full fat dairy, low carbs, non starchy vegetables & berries. Yours sounds like it may be keto or similar to keto too. My surgeon requires different patients to follow different pre surgery diets based on various factors - weight, blood work, results from various medical tests, etc. Sometimes the diet is not only to reduce the fat around your liver, but to lose some weight before surgery, break some addictions/cravings (caffeine, sugar, carbs, etc.) & /or get you thinking about what you eat. Best advice is to follow the plan you’ve been given.

Actually you only need to continue with vitamin supplements with a sleeve if you personally need to i.e. blood work show you’re low in specific vitamins, etc. The sleeve only changes your tummy not other parts of your digestive system. The additional changes that occur with a bypass does increase the impact on your ability to absorb the necessary nutrients. I had sleeve surgery & haven’t taken a vitamin since month 8 when I was in maintenance. But digestive systems can work differently cause we have different physiologies so you may need to take vitamin supplements regardless of the surgery you have. Generally the post surgical diets for sleeve & bypass are pretty similar. The staged return to eating (liquids, then purées, then soft food & finally more solid foods) is to support your sensitive & healing digestive system. There also are certain foods you introduce more slowly into your diet because they’re just too harsh to begin. Both surgeries tend to focus on high protein, low carbs, low fat, low sugar, nutrient dense foods. This is a lifetime thing if you want to maintain your weight loss. In time you can eat most foods just depends on how your body tolerates them but this generally is an individual thing.