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Tammy, your post cracked me up....I ate a footlong like 2 weeks after surgery...and so I so know what you are talking about. WOW...KitKats with icing...that sounds yummy.....ahhhh I mean disgusting...yeah disgusting..lol! No really, you are doing fine...don't worry about the weight gain, those subs have tons of sodium so some of it is water gain. Just relax and let your body do the work...so easy for me to type but Iknow its actually very hard. Good luck Sweetie!

I rarely have so much to share, but I must reach out to you. I know you. You are me. Please, I urge you to consider this reply. I hope this will not be perceived as condescending. I speak from experience. I spent years in a relationship that was NEVER obviously abusive. He was the love of everyone we knew and everyone thought that I had it made. Even me sometimes. Weight seemed to be to blame for everything that was wrong though, and certainly the root of my self-hate. It turned out though, that this person didn’t want what he perceived as damaged goods no matter what the issue was. Finally with weight watchers I started losing the weight, but my joint problems are not related totally to weight and they still got worse over time. It all came to a head during a trip to the zoo. I was having a horrible time limping around, in pain and struggling. I was almost in tears when I swallowed my pride to take a wheel chair. I had never done that in my life, and I was humiliated by admitting my weakness. I just didn’t want to ask him go home because of my problem because he loves the zoo and being outdoors and active. Then it came…the knife. He said “No, pushing you around in a wheel chair isn’t exactly my idea of a good time. I would just rather go home.” This man, who was so seemingly gentle and kind, and yes, wonderful with kids, was, at the heart of things, cold and unthinking. That was the beginning of the end and I have regained happiness since then. After finally learning to love myself, I then started dating a man while I was on Topamax and thin, and now have ballooned into a big big girl. He still tells me I am beautiful. He supported me in my surgery and even loaned me the money and we aren’t even engaged. He keeps encouraging me even though I haven’t lost weight very well because of other medical issues. That is real love. That is real support. John, that is his name, would push me in a wheel chair for the rest of my days if necessary and pop wheelies with me all the way. He has known this is a possibility for me from the beginning, but sees my worth far above that. YOU ARE SCHEDULED FOR SURGERY!!! This is taking care of “this one thing.” He should be jumping up and down for you! Why? Because this is not a weight loss scheme! Has he researched it with you? Does he show interest in this process and what will be happening? If weight loss is truly the answer, then right now, he should be feeling a renewed sense of hope, and so should you. But is it? This is a very complex issue. You have responsibility to love yourself. There is no doubt about that. And that is not just a feel good notion that I throw your way just to make you feel better. If you cannot, you won’t be happy with anyone, and it can destroy everything you love. Now with that said, I do not mean to cause despair. I KNOW that is not just something you decide to do and POOF! you suddenly think you are awesome. It is a process, but one that is up to ONLY YOU and it is ABSOLUTELY POSSIBLE. There a lot of things you can do to get started. Counseling is one obvious one. It is likely that larger issues and addiction drive the weight, and this will only be discovered in deep self-discovery. THIS IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. BUT!!!!!!! His IS TO LOVE YOU UNCONDITIONALLY. Yes, UNCONDITIONALLY. “Just because we took vows?” YES!!!! That is exactly why. If you were in a terrible accident and were paralyzed, what would be the outcome in your marriage? Only you know the answer to that. That answer is very important. Why? Because this parallel can create a very similar situation without the stigma and blame of weight gain. However, it can also produce the same bad characteristics in our loved ones. The fact is though, then, they do not have the luxury of blaming, judging, pointing the finger, and pretending there are far above you because of “your condition.” How do you REALY THINK he would behave? Again, REALLY. Be honest with your self. I do not pretend to know that answer, but you must find it. I have seen both sides. Think long and hard about what you deserve. YOU ARE NOT YOUR WEIGHT. YOU ARE NOT A FAT CELL. YOU ARE A WOMAN WORTH LOVING. Please PM me if you wan to discuss more. It so much deeper than what I can write here and I know you understand that. I hope this helps.

Hi , I agree with Vinesqueen, Alex and everyone else here who posted about unconditional love. The physical part should equate to very little in a relationship of substance. It sounds like you have been battered emotionally and I was angry when I read your post and subsequent posts (not at you, just the futility of the situation) because you really seem to believe that your husband has a right to treat you with disdain and repulsion just because of weight gain. And divorce is not the end of the world. I have been there and life goes on. Your husband does not sound like a good role model for your child. If he berates you about your weight and allows her to believe that it is OK to only commit in a relationship just based on someone's appearance, what kind of message is that sending to your daughter??? Also, the question you should ask yourself is if your husband gained 80 lbs and tried diligently to lose the weight and kept yo -yoing would you leave him? Would you support him or would you tell him that you met him thin and his present weight repulses you?? Or would you try to support him and do everything possible to help him succeed no matter how many times he failed??? food for thought..... Babs in TX 334/180ish -154 ish

Hi, I'm from just outside Berea, KY and just now looking into getting banded. I've been working out for about four months and the last month I've been very regular at it. I go to the gym at least three days a week, do cardio five and six days a week, lift weights and do the machines three and four days a week. I've lost 27 lbs. but the last month have gained 10 back. I'm so discouraged because I'm working out harder than before but gaining weight. I'm hoping the banding will help me gain control of my hand-mouth disease and get my weight under control in the process. I'm 44 and thinking that my slow metabolism might have something to do with the slow weight loss and then I think the weight lifting is probably what's contributing to the weight gain. If I knew for sure it was "muscle gain", I wouldn't be so down about it but who knows? I am scheduled to attend a seminar on April 14 at the Georgetown Hospital, the Bariatric Clinic. They wouldn't tell me much on the phone except that it will cost just under $18,000.00. My husband is behind me 100%. It kind of made me wonder if my weight bothers him that much and he said he just knows it bothers ME that much and wants me to be happy. I'm 5'2 and currently weigh 230. I'm size 16/18 and would like to weigh in the neighborhood of 120 and size 8. According to "the graphs", I should be 115ish. PJ, I thought about going to Vanderbuilt (I think that's the hospital but could be the town in TN, I'll have to check with my cousin) for the surgery. I've heard they have excellent doctors there but not researched it thoroughly yet. Caramel, I am approx. 76 miles from TN border so I could go to Louisville as easily as I could go to TN. Georgetown is the closest place for me so far but when a doctor comes with such high recommendations as Doctor Lusco, it would be worth the extra hour to drive. Can you give me their phone number so I can contact them and schedule a consult or maybe attend their seminar? I will be a self-pay so it will take me a few more months to get the rest of the funds together. At Georgetown, they also told me that the price I was quoted covers all the fill fees for life. I'm looking forward to the seminar so I can ask questions and get answers. Gale

I totally agree with Alex. True love is UNconditional...always. I am very blessed to have a husband that has accepted my obesity from day one. Talk about an odd couple, when we married 16 years ago, he was 29 yrs old, never been married, no kids, was 5'0" tall and weighed 130 lbs. I, on the other hand, was 35 yrs old, had been recently been divorced, had 2 kids, was 5'6" tall and weighed 270 lbs! He says he fell in love with my heart (but claims to love my body too!) I have to admit that our sex life had been really bad lately: he is more than willing, but I feel so "ugly". And the truth be told, I am uncomfortable with it. Not emotionally, but physically. I can't breathe and just feel miserable. The desire is definitely not there. We cuddle a lot though and I DO enjoy that. He is so kind and understanding. I know he gets frustrated, but never complains. He does and says all the right things to help me "get in the mood", but nothing seems to work. Hopefully, as I lose the weight, things will improve. ANYWAY, (boy did I get sidetracked.....sorry, must have needed to vent). Back to the real subject; I get the impression that your marriage may have more issues to address than merely the weight gain. When my husband and I got married we promised to love through better or worse, in sickness and in health. I understand that weight can be a turnoff, but the love should be there regardless. You AND your husband will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Wow, I just posted something similiar in my 1 yr bandaversary thread. very similiar stories. Dh and I got together after one of my starvation modes. I was thin all of 5 mins, but it was in that 5mins I met him. It took me about 6 mths to slowly work my way back up to the huge weight I was before and the poor guy didnt know what hit him. With the weight gain came all my fears and demons again. It was a terrible 4 years or so before I was banded, I dont know how we survived, but we did. I wish you all the best and I truely know how you feel. hugs

same thing happened to me. no appetite for 6-7 days then all of a sudden you are out of the haze of pain meds, pain, resting, and beginning to get back to work. and of a sudden... oh, hmmm. this mushie is good. and it went down. hmm. no problem. mass in colon. weight gain. it all makes sense.

Reality has hit, hard. I decided to weigh myself this morning as I was getting ready for work. Even before I stepped on the scale that I haven't used now for months, I gave myself a pep talk. I tried to convince myself that the weight I knew I've gained was okay because after all I am pregnant. I convinced myself even before lifting one toe toward the horrible weighing machine that whatever the display read I would not let it ruin my day. Finally, I gained the courage to make the step onto the scale and it read 119.5. I was confused. Oops! Someone set the scale to Kg (probably my foreign-born spouse who can make total sense out of the meteric system). Okay trying again, now with the scale settings properly adjusted, it read "264.5". Holy crap! That's 30lbs since November!!! Yes, I know that I'm pregnant, but the recommended weight gain for overweight women is like 15lbs or something. I am not disappointed that I've gained weight with my pregnancy, it's the amount of weight that I'm disappointed in. So, analyzing the situation, I know what has happened. 1) I haven't exercised all winter. 2) I eat ice cream or chips or popcorn or candy or chocolate on a daily basis. (an 8 count box of ice cream drumsticks in 2 days) 3) Having my band unfilled in December was not a good idea-I have no restriction nor do I have self control. I am just out of control. Really. I've known this for a while now, but I have finally decided to face the reality of the situation. I've been warned by my OB/GYN that the hospital I plan on having my baby at will not deliver a woman with a BMI over 40 (I think)-maybe it's that they won't take a pregnant woman with a BMI over 40 because of the weight they'll gain, then they'll be well over a 40 BMI when they deliver. Whatever. I need to start eating healthier and exercising. BTW-the scale at her office read 258 2 weeks ago. Either I've gained 6lbs in 2 weeks or our scales are not calibrated the same. I'm praying for the latter. I need to make some changes, now! It sounds so easy. 1) Eat healthy, nutritious food. 2) Move your body. I definately am not looking to lose weight, again I am pregnant and I'm well read on the topic of weightloss during pregnancy. Still, my focus should be to get back to the basics of being banded (I've nearly forgot that I have a band except for the occasional morning PB on a bagel or some other type of bread). Here is the agreement that I've made with myself. 1) Completely cut out candy,ice cream and junk food 2) Limit liquids to water, crystal light, lowfat milk (no soda!!!) 3) Eat fish 3 times/week (not fried)-omega3's are so good for ya! 4) Exercise daily even if the weather is crappy, I will find a place and time everyday to at least take a 20-30 minute walk. I know that I need to get back on track not only for me and my health, but for the little girl living in my womb. I know that I'm way less moody and more energetic when I eat well and get my exercise. Oh yeah, and my skin looks great, I guess it's the protein. There's my plan all layed out.

Reality has hit, hard. I decided to weigh myself this morning as I was getting ready for work. Even before I stepped on the scale that I haven't used now for months, I gave myself a pep talk. I tried to convince myself that the weight I knew I've gained was okay because after all I am pregnant. I convinced myself even before lifting one toe toward the horrible weighing machine that whatever the display read I would not let it ruin my day. Finally, I gained the courage to make the step onto the scale and it read 119.5. I was confused. Oops! Someone set the scale to Kg (probably my foreign-born spouse who can make total sense out of the meteric system). Okay trying again, now with the scale settings properly adjusted, it read "264.5". Holy crap! That's 30lbs since November!!! Yes, I know that I'm pregnant, but the recommended weight gain for overweight women is like 15lbs or something. I am not disappointed that I've gained weight with my pregnancy, it's the amount of weight that I'm disappointed in. So, analyzing the situation, I know what has happened. 1) I haven't exercised all winter. 2) I eat ice cream or chips or popcorn or candy or chocolate on a daily basis. (an 8 count box of ice cream drumsticks in 2 days) 3) Having my band unfilled in December was not a good idea-I have no restriction nor do I have self control. I am just out of control. Really. I've known this for a while now, but I have finally decided to face the reality of the situation. I've been warned by my OB/GYN that the hospital I plan on having my baby at will not deliver a woman with a BMI over 40 (I think)-maybe it's that they won't take a pregnant woman with a BMI over 40 because of the weight they'll gain, then they'll be well over a 40 BMI when they deliver. Whatever. I need to start eating healthier and exercising. BTW-the scale at her office read 258 2 weeks ago. Either I've gained 6lbs in 2 weeks or our scales are not calibrated the same. I'm praying for the latter. I need to make some changes, now! It sounds so easy. 1) Eat healthy, nutritious food. 2) Move your body. I definately am not looking to lose weight, again I am pregnant and I'm well read on the topic of weightloss during pregnancy. Still, my focus should be to get back to the basics of being banded (I've nearly forgot that I have a band except for the occasional morning PB on a bagel or some other type of bread). Here is the agreement that I've made with myself. 1) Completely cut out candy,ice cream and junk food 2) Limit liquids to water, crystal light, lowfat milk (no soda!!!) 3) Eat fish 3 times/week (not fried)-omega3's are so good for ya! 4) Exercise daily even if the weather is crappy, I will find a place and time everyday to at least take a 20-30 minute walk. I know that I need to get back on track not only for me and my health, but for the little girl living in my womb. I know that I'm way less moody and more energetic when I eat well and get my exercise. Oh yeah, and my skin looks great, I guess it's the protein. There's my plan all layed out.

I'm not going to post my weight (gain or loss) for awhile. I really need to concentrate more on other areas and the scale is driving me mad. So, I'm going to put the scale in the closet and, if it's ok, I'll post my weight again in a couple of weeks.

Thank you for the warm welcome. I am 36 and I was overweight in grade school and lost weight in junior high school, still always a little overweight. I was married in 91 to my husband of 15 years(that I met at church). I had our first daughter in 92 and gained alot of weight with her. I maintained that weight gain plus some and I was at 230 pounds when I looked into lapband. That was my highest weight. I wanted to get a grip on my weight before it got worse. I was banded Oct 6, 2006 and weighed 226 I believe. My goal is to weigh 135, which is 8 pounds less then what I weighed for my wedding day(which is the best I ever felt) I just want to see what it feels like to be a weight I haven't been since Jr. High. I only have 53 pounds to go. I am 188 now and at a standstill. I have done that off and on and it doesn't worry me. It is a healthy way to loose. I am looking forward to weigh in next Wednesday.

This entry is for Monday, March 27, 2006 Breakfast: nothing, not hungry Lunch: beans, 1 oz. Mexican beef steak Dinner: Mexican beef steak, 3 tomillos Snack: serving cookies, cup cappaccino I notice since my husband has been home, I've been eating an actual dinner. And at about 8:00 p.m. I've been eating a snack. This is, I'm sure, the reason for my 2 pound weight gain. That, and I'm expecting my cycle soon. Now that I realize that in only a week's time, I can mke a change to my eating schedule.

This entry is for Monday, March 27, 2006 Breakfast: nothing, not hungry Lunch: beans, 1 oz. Mexican beef steak Dinner: Mexican beef steak, 3 tomillos Snack: serving cookies, cup cappaccino I notice since my husband has been home, I've been eating an actual dinner. And at about 8:00 p.m. I've been eating a snack. This is, I'm sure, the reason for my 2 pound weight gain. That, and I'm expecting my cycle soon. Now that I realize that in only a week's time, I can mke a change to my eating schedule.

Dr. Pleatman Does every patient regain their weight? I had my band removed on November 28th 2005 from erosion...I have yet to gain ANY weight back yet...when does this happen? How long after the band is removed will weight gain occur? I would like to think I did learn something from my band journey which is helping me to not gain the 100+ lbs I lost in 18 months with my band.

When I first started pursing the band, I had a bmi of 39. A low bmi plus my absolute determination to get banded = last supper syndrome. I ate and ate and ate, gaining about 25 pounds in a shockingly brief period of time. I finally came out of it in January and haven’t binged since. To tell you the truth, I'm kind of sick of food altogether and looking forward to the liquids phase. I haven't been making great food choices, but I'm not bingeing at all. Right now I'm working on making better choices because the choices I'm making now are 100% based on convenience (e.g. skipping lunch because it's a pain to pack it or to go out and wait in line somewhere, then going through the drive thru after work so I can eat in the car and be done by the time I get home so I can do other stuff.) I haven't been exercising at all. I was really having a problem with that because the rapid weight gain has put a LOT of stress on my body. (Back pain, leg pain, footpain, etc.) I am 31 but I feel 81. I can barely walk half a block. Plus, it's also a mind thing. I keep thinking of exercise in terms of what I <b>used to</b> be able to do. I used to be able to do 45 minutes of aerobics or walk 45 minutes and the thought of even trying that right now is overwhelming, so I don’t try. BUT! I had a revelation over the weekend. I bought a pair of pants to exercise in and on Saturday I put them on and put on my tennies and was able to walk much longer than usual. Yesterday I went on a ten minute walk around the block. It was hard, but I did it! I'm going to do my best to do that every day from now until May 1. I think that helps with the mental thing and with the waiting. Now I feel like I'm doing <i><b>something</i></b>, not just waiting around for my surgery date. I'm doing a lot of work in that area. The great thing about Cedars-Sinai is they take the weight loss as a done deal. You ARE going to lose weight. So they focus on ways to live your life post band. I had to see a social worker as part of my eval. The social worker really wanted me to think about how I've handled weight loss in the past (very badly, hence the regain) and what obstacles I might face this time around. I will have to overcome a lot of challenges in order to make this THE LAST TIME I am ever obese. I have a lot of issues. Unfortunately, I am one of those who is battling depression (I'm on meds for it) and I have very low self confidence and self esteem. I don't have any friends here and am completely isolated socially (all my own doing. I’m too fat to look at myself so I don’t want anyone else looking at me!) I'm used to being invisible. I LIKE being invisible. I also tend to be an obsessive all-or-nothing type of person, so whenever I slip in terms of food and exercise, I don't just fall off the wagon, I jump off and run the other way. These are all issues I've had for a long time and they're not going to change just because I'm losing weight. In fact, things are going to get a lot scarier for me. In the past I have not been able to handle all of the changes. So if I want to succeed, I have to do something about all of this. Planning for it in advance is a luxury that I fully intend to take advantage of. The day after I met with the social worker, I went out and found a great therapist. I've been in therapy before and it was mostly me talking and crying with no real end in sight. My new therapist is very goal-oriented and we are focusing on the things that will ultimately be most difficult for me. It's only been a month, so I still have all of those issues, but I feel like I am making progress and I am confident that when the time comes to deal with these things, I will be able to handle it. If have to pay someone to hold my hand through this process, then dammit, I will do it! So, in a way, it’s a good thing to have five weeks until my surgery. The waiting sucks, but it’s nice to be on the other end – waiting for a confirmed surgery date, rather than waiting for insurance approval! At least I know I'm definitely going to have it and I know when. These next weeks will give me time to ease into the changes gradually, which I have already started to do. I won’t lie though, I wish it were sooner! And sadly, I am looking forward to it as a week away from my job!

Here's the thing, with a pre-op and post-op diet you'll probably only be about 20 pounds away from your goal. Lab-band surgery is a pretty drastic, expensive step for 20 pounds. The band isn't a miracle cure, you still have to diet and exercise. Surgery isn't something to undergo lightly, it can be dangerous and is definitely painful. I'm not in your shoes but from this side of the band I don't think I'd take such a drastic step for 40 pounds of weight loss. I think you should take the (over) $11,000 (and that's for surgery in Mexico) and hire a personal trainer, a dietician, and maybe even some counselling. I'm not suggestion that your fear of weight gain is immaterial or unwarranted, I'm just saying maybe you should start with a more moderate approach to weight loss. The band will always be there if you need it. Right now I don't think you need it.

Xann, Hang in there girl, a lot of us have been in the same boat, here take my life jacket for a while. I have dealt with a lot of depression since my banding. I try and remember that we all started at different weights so we are gonna lose differently as well. Some of us are turles and some are rabbits, but look on the bright side, you are lossing, yes it is slow, but lossing, its a blessing. My first visit back to the doctor I had gained 10 lbs back from the weight I had lost during my all liquids stage. This is a life time journey so dont be so hard on yourself, I think to myself " I didnt get this heavy over night and I am not going to lose it over night". I believe your period has something to do with weight gain, I know I bloat something awful, so Water weight will get to you. Drink more water, sounds crazy but it helps flushes the extra water away. We all are here if you need us, vent, cry or even cuss....you're not alone!

I am at work and read through this post really fast and I have PMS and am easily ticked off... so bare with me if I make an a** out of myself. One thing I have learned is to listen to people I trust that are in the field. When I started investigating plastic surgeons, I asked my very trusted lap band surgeon who HE recommended because he knows a hell of a lot more about it than any friend, husband, etc. LISTEN TO YOUR FRIEND. Do not be in such a hurry that you have surgery with an innexperienced surgeon just because you can't wait. All the follow up in the world won't help if your band isn't properly placed in the beginning. My guess is that if you talk to the surgeon's office that your friend suggested he may have relationships with follow up care offices in your area. As for your husband saying he won't give you the money to have the surgery if you don't go to a different doctor- why the hell is he in charge of what you do with your body? Man, he is in for a rude awakening when you get the band, lose weight, gain some self esteem and kick his condescending, controlling butt to the curb. This your body. Your life. Your band future. Megan

((I was just wondering where youve been lately - good to see you!)) You are so right TommyO! The realism that I do not have BIG weight gains, (generally keep the same weight) is a positive result from the band. Very good post! And its good to hear some great feedback from the opposite sex.

Not eating and drinking is a struggle for most of us, so this is what I do, I do not allow the waiter/waiteress to bring water and neither do I have it on the table while I am eating. Just out of habit we do things so don't make it so convient for yourself. You difinately needed your band to rest, you gave it to much in a day. After any PB episodes you must allow your band to rest. Take it slow, it will be alright. For me, fills are always a challenge. Usually up to 2/3 weeks after a fill I am very limited with what I can eat and then one day I wake up and I can eat things that have been a struggle. That's my sign for a fill. I usually wait 5/6 weeks in between fills. I waited over 2 months before getting my first fill so I feel like I'm behind on my weight lost but it's still been consistant and no weight gains since I was banded. That is a blessing for me all together. Stay encourage and try to follow the band rules. I know it's hard just from my own personal experience.

The other thing my doctor told me- is we as country over portion even for the kids! A meat serving for them is "their fist size" not mine! Same for other foods. So I down loaded a portion size chart for foods- but you also have to remember I am dealing with a lot of special needs children with tendancies for weight gain and the distinct possibility we might not read- so we are way to creative- I also have a padlock on the snack cabniet (ie- cherrios, grahm crackers, animal crackers, gold fish , mommy favorite home made oatmeal & bran "poopy" cookies. This is more to keep them out- since none of the lazy susan locks worked. But it does keep them out the oldest goes for the grape s or cut up apples first! (By the way I use "snack bags- about 1/2 - 2/3 size of sandwhich bag!- I love them)

If it was such a simple science then the obesity rate wouldn't be so high. 3500/ Calories In-Calories Out doesn't always equal a one pound lose. If that was the case people who stick to a plan and exercise and keep track of their BMR wouldn't stall... wouldn't have weight loss spurts... or weight gains. The fact is there are people who have hormone issues, slow metabolisms, yo-yo'ed dieted... lose at different rates.

Went to a local WLS support group meeting tonight. Out of thirty or more people, there were only two bandsters--three including me who has yet to me banded. The leader of the meeting pretty much said I would fail at this band thing--that most banded she's seen convert to the RNY eventually. She said that most of the lap band folks are not happy with their slow weight loss--and she said that there are so many things that can go wrong--slippage, erosion, etc. She said that I'd have a higher chance of having more surgeries than if I were to have the RNY. She said that if I have a sweet tooth, then the band is DEFINITELY NOT FOR ME. This bummed me out for a---SECOND--then I came to my senses. This is the best and safest way to go. Eventually, I am going to have to come to terms with the type of and amount of food I eat, and even if I were to get the RNY, I'd have to come to terms with eating sugar eventually. From what I hear, the "dumping" gets less and less severe as time goes on. I do have some what of a sweet tooth, but I don't care for sugary liquids at all. I do love cookies--cakes, etc., but I willing to say good-bye to them to regain my health. The main thing I'm looking for in the band is to help control real, physical hunger--not head hunger--but physical hunger--that's all my expectation of the band. It just frustrates me that she (leader of WLS meeting) tried to talk me out of the band. She even mentioned how she's struggling with her weight gain (after 5 years out/RNY) and that she still vomits a lot--and that her teeth are chipping easily (possibly due to a mineral deficiency). Ahh--I don't know. I just want SO BADLY to be successful. I don't expect a miracle cure. I just want help with this journey. Am I asking too much of the band for that--help to curb the ravenous physical hunger? Thanks all for listening...

:omg: at 2 Philly steak sandwiches a month out!! That is crazy!!! :confused: Warning: Tough love coming.... Re: drinking during meals. We all CAN do it. We choose NOT to do it for maximum results. Re: eating everything.... The band does not make healthy choices for you. If you choose to shove carbs and crap down there, the weight will keep coming and you have wasted your time, money and energy. You have to make healthy choices!! If you can eat eat eat a lot.... then fine. Eat 4 boiled chicken breasts if you want to. Eat a whole package of steamed carrots. For munching, grab a plain yogurt or a banana. I think you were seriously misled if your surgeon told you that the band will do all the work and choices for you. The band is NOT bypass and is a dual partnership in which you must diet and exercise and use the band as a tool for weightloss. It will not be a catch all and it will not stop you from eating stuff that causes weight gain. Re: a month post op.... When did you start eating hard solids like that? What week? What were your post op instructions? Who is your surgeon? Where were you banded? Take your small bites slowly, chew well and rest between each bite, about 15 full seconds. DON'T drink before, during meals or after meals. Eat for maximum of 20 minutes and stop. Give it time to settle in your pouch first. The band WILL work and do its job. You have to work with it. :hungry: Once you deal with the head hunger, life will start getting better, I promise. Just hang in there!:clap2:

I'm so glad we're having this conversation. Count me in the category of people who would prefer not to be commented on at all, even if it is a compliment. When I was 22, I starved myself down to 135lbs. I am 5'7" so that was pretty small for me. When I was 28, I did it again, going from 220 to 140. I found being a healthy weight terrifying and uncomfortable. While I was proud of myself for losing the weight, I wasn't prepared for the reaction. When I was 13, I was closet bingeing while all the other girls were learning how to flirt and talk to boys. I never learned how to do those things, so I felt inadequate and foolish. I was bewildered when total strangers who had never seen me before, never known that I was fat, complimented me. I felt afraid because deep in my heart, I <b>knew</b> that I had lost weight by starving myself and that it wouldn't last. If people noticed me losing weight, they'd certainly notice me gaining it back and I <i>cringed</i> at the thought. All of that adds up to a lot of inner turmoil. Confused, exposed, angry, scared, etc. all added up to weight gain. I see it so clearly now, but I didn't see it then. I see that some people were genuinely glad for me and complimented me because well...that's how they would want to be treated if the situation were reversed. I see that some people complimented me because I carried myself with a little more pride and confidence. And I see that some people were negative because of their own issues, and it had nothing to do with me. I hadn't thought about all of this in a while, but it all came back when I had my eval with the social worker. I realized that though I have a lot more clarity now, this is still going to be scary. The only way to deal with the fear and insecurity is to push right through it. It's going to be difficult, so I followed the social worker's advice and found a therapist to help me with this particular issue. She's going to help me fight through all of that and come out of it stronger this time, not fatter.