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Nomore.... Have you explained to him how much you value his support, but that you feel this is the path you must take? My now ex husband hated the idea of me getting WLS. Back in 2009 i got banded. He said the same... you're doing it now, you can do it without surgery. But, i knew i had to have this for me and no one else. It was harder with out his support, but i went on to lose 89lbs. Kept it off for years. In 2016 i asked for a divorce after 25+ years. (lots of issues) The main problem was my weightloss. He hated the skinny me, would be negative all the time. Told me some of the most horrible stuff. But though it all Never had any weight gains while i had my band. Back in March 2017 i got the flu/stomach bug and threw up violently... slipped my band. Emergency removal. It was the worst day ever. Between that day and Julyishhh.... i gained back 30lbs. This confirmed that i needed WLS. So Aug 28, 2019 i got sleeved. Your health has many risk and side effects. You have to do this for you and only you. If you haven't, go watch youtube Dr. V.... he's an Asian guy and he is 100% correct on everything he says... go watch the one on relationships. 5'2" Banded Nov 10, 2009 SW 232, weight at removal 143 Sleeved Aug 28, 2019 SW 173.5 Today 144.2

Oh Megan, you're not alone! My experience is EXACTLY the same. I gave up even trying to eat breakfast a long time ago, and lunch is very small and either Soup or crackers. But evenings, I could eat a massive amount of food! I was living like this for a long time, and not losing weight because I was eating too much at night (and/or eating junk). So, I just got another fill. Now I feel like my restriction level is great--I still don't eat breakfast (just slowly sip tea with some soy milk), and lunch is tiny. But my evening eating is now nicely restricted, so I feel quite full after just a small amount of food. I feel like the level is perfect, but guess what? Now I have major heartburn and am waking up every night with acid reflux (sometimes I even vomit). So, obviously that's no good. I'll probably end up having to get the fill removed if this doesn't get better. And then I'll be right back to where I was, with not much restriction at all in the evenings. Anyway, just so you know, you're not the only one in that boat. And I struggle with making poor choices, and being hungry, and cravings, etc. If I didn't have issues with food, I wouldn't have needed the band in the first place! I've only lost 40 lbs in 10 months. I'm ok with that, though. The way I see it, this is a learning process. I am tweaking my restriction till I find what works best for me overall, and then learning to work with life at that level of restriction. Don't be too hard on yourself! In my opinion, that kind of thinking can actually lead to behaviour that causes weight gain. As long as you've lost weight, that's good. Just keep heading in that direction--it's a heck of a lot better than gaining!

I think it should go down but I am not very worried abt weight gain or lose because all we r doing is on liquid diet so eventually will lose some significant wait anyway I would take lot of stress abt weight gain don't worry everything will be fine

I was "normal" sized when we met (around 125 lbs, if I remember correctly). I started my steady weight gaining after I popped out The Kid 8 years later. I've read alot about spouses/partners of those who have lost weight say similar things (i.e., not liking skinny women/men). Which to me is kinda douchey. I mean, if Mr. told me he doesn't like fat women when I gained my 100+ lbs, I'd be doing some serious re-evaluating. Though I suppose until you guys have a real conversation about it, maybe just give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that yes, while he gets turned on abstractly by a relatively bigger physique, in no way does it affect how he feels and is attracted to YOU. P.S. your pic reminds me of Julianna Margulies (the ER actress)!

All the sleeve is before weight loss is a tool with which to do it. Once you enter maintenance, all the sleeve is after weight loss is a better opportunity to stay there. Nobody fails, including the sleeve itself. It's just not a guarantee of anything, it's just better odds of a lot of things. If you experience weight gain a year or two out, then just get back in the game. The sleeve should still be helping you do that at that point. For everybody who talks about how stats are unreliable because of re-gainers not reporting or following up, I'd point out those studies also don't point to weight "re-loss." The most important thing to me out there is that it appears that our set points definitely change, which is more important than the loss or gain of any particular pound.

@PolahBeou Sorry that you are having issues. At 5'5" and 114Lbs. Your BMI is 19.0 Low end of normal. One more pound will be underweight. You said "So far, every doctor I've visited has recommended more exercise and protein. " Wow, exercise contradicts weight gain. Who are these Dr's? Seek new Dr.s and pressure them. Advocate for yourself until you get the help you need. Suggestions (not medical professional advice) Sop exercising. You are burning calories that your body needs. If your surgery restriction is tight, Eat small meals all day to stop weight loss and gain weight. The only way you gain weight is eating extra calories. (High carb and fat) Try a medical grade weight gaining shake and a Liquid/powdered carbohydrates. look on Amazon or GNC

Greg: Hah! I totally know how you feel. I started my six month insurance diet and managed to gain 23 pounds. Somehow they still approved me... I jumped through all of the hoops though I guess maybe they thought that with the weight gain I really needed this. I am down 10.9 of those pounds already though and am hoping to go down to where I was 6 months ago just because I would feel safer for surgery at the weight. I may be only 19 but I already have heart problems because of my weight :scared2:. Mickey: Have fun at the party and tell the bday boy best wishes. IDK why but for some reason giving up things like bday cake and doing preop diet feel really good to me. I feel like I'm taking the right steps forward. LOL and I feel like I have control over what I eat which is something I rarely feel. You can think about that feeling perhaps at the party when you are watching everyone else eat cake :tt1: that and running with the grandkids and seeing them graduate from college and get married. I'm so glad to see more Septeberers joining this board we have to spread the word! ttys

Hello Va Gang again, JA9VA I really appreciate your reply, Thanks you so much . It's so great to have this place to vent. Those friends that are not in this realm have no idea of the torment that goes into making a decision like this because they have always been naturally thin. When I was younger I was very thin then around 22 I gained about 50 lbs in a year. I didn't understand it but it happened now I have been told that I probally had PCOS which causes huge sudden weight gains and could have been corrected. But then I tried to diet and excercised lost a little weight had baby packed on more weight, lost a little again, had another baby, gained more, and then repeated it one more time. I have tried so many diets but it's never been successful for long. One time I took Redux and lost 60 lbs I loved it but then it was taken off the market. But since that I have been extremely unsuccessful with weight lost. I also had to have Hysterectomy when I was 33. Recently developed Thyroid issues, reflux, joint pain and Diabetes. I guess thats enough of my justification. It's really difficult to want this so bad and still not even know if insurance has approved me yet. It seems like the process is so slow. Lumpy: I will definitely keep in touch with the process. I really wish you well with the surgery. Thanks for being here. Suzie

It sounds like you're kicking butt following the plan, but your body just doesn't wanna cooperate! Weight loss wise sounds like you're doing well - You're averaging about 3.8 pounds a week lost, which seems like more than if you just put it in a whole number lost (At least imo - I wanna pay attention to the biggest number to keep me going =p). That sounds like a really good pace to me. As far as stalling, I wish I could offer you concrete advice, but nothing seemed to make a difference for mine except sheer determination. My hormones went wack and I ranted a bit on my blog, which helped with the crazies. Now that I'm finally seeing a little movement, I feel much better about having survived the 3 weeks of stall. Anyway, because during this time I read hundreds of posts on stalls I will give you the advice I tried that worked for other people: - Increasing calories by a few hundred for a few days to a week and then coming back down on calories (I found this easier by adding some calorie rich foods rather than adding more volume because I couldn't eat a lot either) - Decreasing carbs - I try and keep mine below 40 because that's what my PCP said would help put me in ketosis - Increasing Water - Many blogs I read talk about how you should divide your weight in half and that's how many ounces you should get. That makes like 150 ounces for me which is not realistically happening so I aimed for an extra 16oz glass per day - Increasing exercise - it sounds like you're already doing this, but maybe doing a different type of exercise or at a different time of day - I know from other diets I've done that my body loves to get in a set routine and stop dropping weight, I gotta keep it guessing to keep losing - Decreasing processed foods - Increasing Protein - I got up to around 100g/day for a few days but nothing seemed to happen and I had a hard time getting that much in so I started just aiming for my target of 70 again - Adding interval training and strength training - I did this by adding 5 1 minute jogging intervals to my walks, not allowed to lift weights yet so did a few isometric things and some wall push-ups - Having a rich high fat/calorie sweet - I didn't end up really trying this. I wanted to, because it sounded tasty, but I was too worried about ending up binging on something, my self control has yet to be really tested and I'd like to keep it that way as long as possible! A lot of people seemed to swear by this though - Going back to basics - liquid diet for a few days and working back up (not fun!) None of these worked for me, but they worked for a lot of other people! I hope that helps any =) Feel free to rant if you're feeling stressed though, keeping stress in and being upset raises your cortisol and can help lead to weight gain/retention. Every time I vented I feel like I got it off my chest and could worry about other stuff for the day. Hang in there, it will break eventually.

I am 24 too, and I weigh 318, right now I don't have any health issues like high blood pressure or diabetes, but I know that if I don't put a stop to my weight gain they are coming. I do not have low self esteem, and I am not self concious about my weight, I love putting on a swimming suit and go have fun at a pool or beach. All that been said, airplanes are a pain, going on a public bus is a pain, the fact that I have to buy my clothes online at onestopplus.com is a pain. Right now my knees don't bother me, but a few more years with all this weight and my poor knees are gonna start shouting at me.

I cheated but then my surgery was cancelled anyway as there were cancer patients that required surgery - I was a backup and if they didnt have beds I would have got surgery and when they took me in to get changed and stuff I almost crapped myself because I had cheated - Thankfully they didn't do the surgery but it was then rescheduled for another 2 weeks after which meant I had to stay on the preop - which I didn't I ate as soon as I left the hospital and then the next day but went straight back on the shakes. Didn't cheat at all and then I rang the hospital to see what time I needed to be there the next time and I wasn't even on the list - So I ate dinner that night which I think I had every right to lol. Now my surgery is scheduled for the 12th (next tuesday) and they rang me on the 1st so I didn't start the diet until the 3rd, I've definitely cheated, I had a piece of bread with ham and cheese and then a cracker with vegemite and cheese and also an egg, I don't feel guilty at all because doctors are to blame for the cancellations and my weight gain and they've even admitted that. My surgeon's nurse also rang and basically I'll be having surgery on the 12th no matter what (thank god.) I know it's hard for people to keep on track but I don't see how doctors can expect you to be perfect when the shakes/preop diet they assign you is dishgusting, I've heard of a woman whose preop she could have fish and salad with dressing - I'm not allowed that but if I was it would have been way easier to stay on track

Congratulations on your terrific weight loss! Sounds like HE is the one who is insecure, and he's lashing out, big time! He told you for years that he was embarrassed to be seen with you?? That is NOT how a loving spouse acts! And now he's telling you what to wear and what not to wear? That is very controlling - not a good sign. And he's blaming YOU for HIS weight gain?? Tell him he can cook for himself from now on, or at the very least he can serve his own plate. Do NOT take his sh*&!! Please start going to counseling imMEdiately. My guess is he will refuse to go, but please don't let that stop you.

I’m doing everything right. I’ve not changed the way I️ve eaten (surgery 9/14) I️ mean the last month I’ve eaten and drank the same. Worked out 5x a week. I’ve been SLOWLY losing but this week I’ve gained 2.5 pounds?! I️ thought I️ was just stalked but no! It’s going backwards!!!! I️ want to cry. If I️ knew what to do different I️ would but I’m not messing up anywhere...[emoji17]

Welcome jen!!!!! In my opinion, (I am 2.5 years out) and was heavy my whole life...... the sleeve is the best thing that ever happened to me. Could I have lost more weight? yes. The sleeve seems to work varrying degrees for people. Some people lose all their excess weight, some 30lbs. It depends on what you put in, and what you want. Post-op life is so much better (weight gain is not like before when dieting) but there is a risk of going back. I see the scale go up a few pounds then I blow an imaginary horn in my head. I can eat entire small box of cheezits in a few hours. I also can only eat 3 oz of steak and a few bites of veggies. It all depends of choices. What I am getting at is the sleeve is amazing but it is not guarantee to be thin for the rest of your life... (although I wish it was)

You proved that you do need the surgery. They will not deny you. Weight gain however makes them angry lol!! you will be fine

That's not too bad for two weeks. I am a carb addict. I laughed when my doc asked me if a contributing factor to my weight gain was sweets. (This fat chick doesn't like cake! Haha) I am a bread and rice girl all the way. I'm thankful he's letting me enjoy them until the morning of the 29th. But oddly have no problem giving it up for good after. He said it's best that I try my best never to allow any carbs back into my diet after surgery other than occasional potatoes or cauliflower. He said he won't restrict me but highly advises against it even in my maintenance phase down the road. I am really ok with Protein and veggies for the rest of my life. Don't like fruit much so no loss there. But I do have a "texture" problem with yogurt, smoothies and pudding so I am a little worried about the pureed stage of post-op. That texture make me want to vomit. I'm praying I can get past the mental problem I have with it so I can make it through that phase ok. I am so jealous that you aren't nervous. I am holding it together ok right now but know I am gonna really lose it the day before surgery. Part of me is ready to get it over with so the anxiety can go away and the other wishes I would have given myself more time to prepare mentally. I'm not afraid of pain or giving up food. I'm afraid of surgery and anesthesia. If I could just make it through that day...I'll be ok.

My husband & I went to Mexico last week on vacation and I just wanted to share with everyone that it IS possible to have a fun vacation and not worry about food, even though we are on specific eating programs. I am 4.5 months post-op and pretty much adhered to my proper diet with a few exceptions. I took my vitamins, ate a lot of lean/grilled protein and tried to get my water in. If we were off-site on an excursion, I made sure to have a protein bar and extra water on hand. Breakfast was usually an omelet with veggies or a yogurt & fruit and lunch/dinner was grilled or poached fish, shrimp, chicken or lean beef and veggies. We stayed at our favorite inclusive resort and I pretty much ate dessert every night, only had pasta once (two spinach raviolis) and only ate rice once (a couple bites of sofrito & rice). I did have crusty bread at dinner most nights (usually with olive oil & balsamic) and I did drank alcohol most nights at dinner and at the swim-up bars at the pools. Before everyone gasps, I only gained two pounds. We walked a lot and went on several off-site excursions, along with swimming almost every day. I got back home Saturday night and went back on program Sunday. I weighed myself this morning and not only did I lose the two pounds I gained on vacation, but I also lost an additional pound. We took this same trip at the same resort two years ago and we both ate and drank like no tomorrow and I gained 14 pounds. I did have to say “no” to a lot of things that looked delicious and I couldn’t finish a lot of the yummy food on my plate, but it is possible to go on vacation and enjoy your meals with minimal weight gain.

Yup, I get plenty of Water, and I take benifiber quite frequenly, nearly everynight, espically now that i'm so darn tight. And I've tired the mixing it up like you suggest Eileen, too, but that didn't work any more than anything else has Good point about the meds Paula. I 've check my meds myself, and weight gain was only an indicator when I was on birth control this summer. I am still gaining and losing those same five pounds.

No, I can't take those medications. I get sweaty, headaches, nauseous, feel like I drank 1,000 cups of coffee, and they make my insomnia worse. The one I can take which is one of the oldest ones, amitriptiline, causes horrible weight gain. I think that was the beginning of all my gaining weight. All the newer ones which are the SSRI's cause me every side effect that is listed is possible.

No, I didn’t have weight gain on HRT but couldn’t shift the weight I had put during peri menopause & early menopause before starting HRT. I remember people used to complain about weight gain on the pill but I would actually lose a couple of kg. We had Cobb & Co in Australia which carried passengers & the mail. Can’t recall a tv program about it except for the odd documentary. There is a Cobb & Co museum in Toowoomba which is close to where I grew up but I’ve never been. Isn’t that the way though. You never go to the places near you but will travel interstate or overseas to see museums & places of historical significance.

Thank you for your post vickiebc! I just found this group today. I am 61 and have been to the seminar, the consultation and have my first meeting with nutritionist tomorrow. I was beginning to think there were no other people my age going through this. I I am very excited but also very nervous!! Please, keep posting. Sent from my QTAIR7 using the BariatricPal App Hi! Excited to see some of us "older but wiser" peeps on here! I am a 66 yr. young female going on 67 (in July) and had my surgery at 59. I went from "my" high weight of 241 to 127 in 8 months and was told to put on 5 lbs. Well I've done that, AND more, 23 lbs! I share this because it's a well known fact that if we do not stay plugged in to a support group and think our "pouch" is going to do all the work, we are fooling ourselves. I know because that's what I've done.....Im depressed about my weight gain, I cannot afford any type of cosmetic procedures and find myself slipping into the same habits that got me heavily obese in the first place! I'm not crying the blues or feeling sorry for myself folks, just asking if anyone out there has been, or is, there and what you did. For those of you who've just had the surgery, or are scheduled, I applaud you....I still believe it is the best thing I've ever done for myself Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using the BariatricPal App

We all hit bumps in the road - you acknowledged your slip so don't beat yourself up (weight gain is punishment enough!) get back to your plan and stay faithful!!! You got this

Eating while out of town... Well, family traveled out of state for our daughter's softball tournament and I ate horrible!! Restaurants - Buffalo Wild Wings, IHOP, Subway, McDonald's, Small Town Restaurants Ate when not hungry Kept something in my mouth at the games... Candy! Didn't have Protein shakes Sampled foods high in calories and sugar Felt bloated Had 2 free alcoholic beverages I worked out 4 days last week, ate bad for 3 and the result is weight gain!!! Time to get back to my routine ugh...

As we head into the long, lazy days of summer, why not get a little lazy yourself? It’s all in the name of weight loss, of course. Here’s why kicking back can help you lose weight, and ways to chill out for maximum benefits. The Right Mindset for Smart Decisions It is no surprise that you are at your best when you are rested, relaxed, and confident. That goes for almost every aspect of your life, and it holds true for weight loss. Thinking clearly lets you “weigh” the consequences of the hard-boiled egg versus the French fries for a snack so you can see the benefits of choosing the egg for weight loss outweigh the benefits of choosing the fries for a few minutes of pleasure. Self-confidence also lets you make the right choices. When you are confident, you know that you have the power to choose. You realize that are not a victim of circumstances, and you do not need to eat something just because it is available to you. You know that you have the power to say no to the things you should not eat, and the power to find the things you should. Better Sleep, Better Choices Sleep is not just a luxury to feel guilty about. Adequate sleep may be the missing key to your weight loss program. When you get enough sleep, you have lower levels of a hormone called ghrelin. Ghrelin makes you hungry, and less ghrelin helps keep hunger in check. Getting enough sleep also lowers carb and sugar cravings and gives you the strength to make rational decisions. Think protein and veggies, not potato chips and cookies. Stress, Hormones, and Your Weight In addition to your daily choices, there are behind-the-scenes factors that can cause weight gain when you are stressed. Hormones affect your metabolism and can cause weight gain when they are not balanced. Too much stress, for example, raises levels of a hormone called cortisol. Cortisol increases raise your hunger levels, which can lead to you overeat. It also affects your fat storage. You might gain more fat in your abdominal area, which is a health risk for diabetes, heart disease, and more. Tips for Chilling Out The first trick for relaxing is to get over your guilt. It is not only okay to kick back, but it is healthy. It may be surprisingly tough when you are out of practice, though. Here are some ideas for stepping back from your busy life and giving your mind a chance to recover for a healthier body. Set aside 10 minutes for yourself every day. Meditate, take a bath, read, or do something else that is just for you. Get more sleep if you find yourself waking up tired or struggling to get through the day. Exercise most days. A quiet stroll on the beach or a hike may seem like out-of-reach dreams, but any exercise helps clear your mind. Restorative yoga, a cycling class, and home exercise DVDs all do the trick. Stretch. It loosens your muscles and gives you a chance to think through your day. Weight loss surgery success takes a lot of hard work, but there are some ways to get more bang for your buck without working harder. Take a chill pill, and you might find that the extra relaxation gives you the strength and stamina to lose more weight.

I have chronic major depression and I take two antidepressants. Neither causes weight gain, in fact they're both known to sometimes suppress appetite so I've had no issues there. I have had to be treated with prednisone since my bariatric surgery for an unrelated condition and I didn't gain a lot of weight. As soon as I came off of it, I lost the water weight and the few pounds I had put on. Make sure to talk all your concerns out with your surgeon. I have a blood disorder and I am on anticoagulants for life. For this reason, my surgeon asked me to get clearance from my hematologist. The hemadoc told me I would need to switch anticoagulants after surgery because the one I was taking required a lot of food to be bioavailable. I tried to get the one he recommended but my insurance wouldn't cover it. It was too expensive for me to pay for out of pocket, so I stayed on my original anticoagulant. Six months later, I developed a blood clot just as my hemadoc predicted. So it's always good to make all your doctors aware that you are having surgery as there can be unexpected interactions between different areas of your health. Best of luck! 🤗