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Today at around 7 I will be attending my seminar. I'm nervous not really sure what to expect of what will happen. I need this, I don't just want it I need it in order to survive. I had a nightmare last night and now I really don't know what effect the rest of my personal affairs will have on my surgery. I bring this up only because with the weight gain many things have changed in my life. I was athletic in high school, very active, and focus on the tasks that I had to complete. With the weight gain myself esteem seemed to evaporate. I allowed myself to do and engage in activities that I knew were more damaging to my mental and emotional well being. I guess one of the areas that have really been affected has been my love life. When I was what society thought was acceptable I never really had a trouble finding someone to love or be attracted to me. It seemed as if men were more interested in me as a person. Now it seems as if I live my life as a sex toy to be played with at the whim of men. I know that this might nit be true. And I also know that this has alot to do with me as a person but I can't help but wonder. I have come a far way in knowing who I am and what I want. I don't want to continue being the fat girl, the sex toy the person that gets used. I have fought hard to hang on and rebuild the sancitity of normalcy that is my mind. I guess this is turning into some kind of confusing rant so I'll try to wrap it up. My new life is being embarked upon.

Everyone posting on this thread have been my biggest motivators. I'm just shy of 2 years out, made my very modest goal at 9 months post op. It's hard sometimes to come to the site now because I always feel everyone besides me is satisfied on eating low carb, 800 cals, and 1/4 cup max per meal. I'm embarrassed, I feel like the anomaly almost... Luckily I'm 6 pounds from my low weight currently. I'm ok with that, but not HAPPY with that. I'm also kind of pissed I have to "diet" to get those stupid 6 pounds off. I could gain back all of my weight easily, but I won't. I won't go back. But it does take effort. I still have restriction with some foods but I could seriously eat 3/4 box of Cheezits in an evening, I have! Basically, I am so so happy with my sleeve but its hard to lose weight gained. The 6 pounds I'm trying to lose have been haunting me for months. All we can do is keep trying!!!

Yay, you are back and don't worry about that three pounds. I gained three on our cruise and it came off that week and then some. It was like some temporary vacation weight gain. lol. And you do not have a fat ass at all.. don't even girlie!! And, the bad stuff definitely goes down a lot easier than the good stuff sometimes, like chips and icecream, but I'm glad I cancelled my fill for this friday because I don't need it. I really don't want to be tighter than this at all because I want to get the good stuff down easily. My doctor said something wise to me once.. he said "don't let yourself get too tight because you will be miserable, I promise" and he is so right. I lose more when I'm not so tight and I'm just happier overall.

Because for instance, there is statistical evidence that lesbians have higher rates of obesity than straight women and more issues with other addictive behaviors, such as smoking. This may indicate a different level of support is needed and I see a lot of posts about families where people with chosen family may not feel as included. I’m not asking to start trouble, I’m asking because I am a lesbian, and would want to reach out to others who may have had issues like these. This forum is about WLS support, right? Also, while we’re on the subject, I write healthcare grants regularly on the subject of people dealing with comorbidities/co-occurring disorders and since you brought up race and ethnicity, there are also studies that show we (people of color) have higher rates of obesity, hypertension, diabetes and other issues. Seems like a weight loss forum like this one may be a good place for people to safely discuss that part of their journey. Part of my own work in taking the step to WLS was understanding how my genetics and family make up play a part in my weight gain. Also understanding and coming to terms with my own sexuality was part of my weight gain. My question is, why is this threatening/upsetting (the caps) to you? I’m curious about your reaction to what seems a pretty normal question. I’ve recently been sleeved, and am just at my 2 week mark from surgery. I’m down 21 lbs. today.

One of the office I go to will not touch you if you have not lost weight. You will be sent away. The place where I ultimately ended up having surgery (had nothing to do with weight gain or loss, I left for other reasons) puts you on a strict preop diet and they do expect you to lose weight. I don't know if they would turn you away or not but you are only putting yourself at risk.

Forcing yourself to eat to meet a suggested calorie count sounds very problematic. Reminds me of the days of eating past the point of being full which led to weight gain and our need for WLS. Hmmm.... Mindful conscious eating is key to success. Listen to your body. Stop eating before you get full and stay away from the scale. GL to you!!!

That was actually one of the things I talked about in my preop psych evaluation. Culturally, black men appreciate a more voluptuous frame. When I was young and thin, everybody in my family tried to fatten me up. What most consider fat, we consider "thick". So yes yes and yesssss. @@mschan218 get ready to lose it girl. I haven't lost it all but I'm only 4 months out too. I had a nice butt before weight gain but I don't think its going to hold up much longer. I had a 38/23/42 measurement in high school mid 20's it was more like 40/26/45. So always small waist bottom heavy. @@losergrl75 my hubby met me in high school I was about 125 with those measurements. When we married 5 years later I was 125. So he's used to a smaller me... however he's really grown fond of BBW. I mean really. Like TMI his porn of choice is BBW. I'm afraid although this man has loved me through it all that I will not be as attractive to him. I know that's just my personal issue but it lingers... I totally get where you're coming from. I also met my hubby in hs when I weighed about 110 soaking wet. So he has seen me small, big and every weight in between. But he definitely loves thick women. He's in the fitness industry, so he thinks Serena Williams body is hot! Sent from my XT1565 using the BariatricPal App

I found that too but might as well not post the studies as it seems people don't want to see these types of truths. That article is wayyyyy too logical. Interesting that the article you posted states to not limit sweets but rather the volume. I'm sure that will be argued with as well. I don't think this is a study. By study I am looking for an actual experiment with a control or double blind controls and results or findings. The problem with so many food based studies is that they are not experiments but survey based. i.e. the issue with drinking diet sodas, does diet soda cause obesity or contribute or is do obese people just happen to drink diet soda? In order to truly know the effect of diet soda on our sleeves we would need to find results of a study where 2 groups were one drinking diet soda and one not. Their diets would need to be the same and their exercise the same and their weight gain/loss and comparative endoscopy results might allow us to draw some real conclusion about the effect of diet soda on your sleeve and weight loss. In the absence of that everything is conjecture and the only sensible alternative is to follow the advice of your physician, not the advice of someone else physician. After all if you hit a stall or a complication it is your actual physician you are going to be looking to help you correct things.

That was actually one of the things I talked about in my preop psych evaluation. Culturally, black men appreciate a more voluptuous frame. When I was young and thin, everybody in my family tried to fatten me up. What most consider fat, we consider "thick". So yes yes and yesssss. @@mschan218 get ready to lose it girl. I haven't lost it all but I'm only 4 months out too. I had a nice butt before weight gain but I don't think its going to hold up much longer. I had a 38/23/42 measurement in high school mid 20's it was more like 40/26/45. So always small waist bottom heavy. @@losergrl75 my hubby met me in high school I was about 125 with those measurements. When we married 5 years later I was 125. So he's used to a smaller me... however he's really grown fond of BBW. I mean really. Like TMI his porn of choice is BBW. I'm afraid although this man has loved me through it all that I will not be as attractive to him. I know that's just my personal issue but it lingers...

How does zero calorie and zero sugar diet pop cause you to gain weight? I see Chrystal Light talked about here a lot and it has aspartame and a list of chemicals longer than diet pop. Why is that recommend over diet pop? Just because a doctor says so is not good enough for me. When I was a kid our family doctor told us we would all have heart attacks if we continued to eat eggs. Anti eggs was the fad back then and most doctors went with it. Now eggs are considered a super food. What happened? Why did doctors suddenly change? Diet pop has been out for 50 years and yet there are very few studies that actually study causation. The ones I have found show that people do not gain anymore weight by drinking diet pop. I personally have lost 70 pounds and counting drinking diet pop. None of the ingredients in diet pop has been proven to cause weight gain. Diet pop is just a carbonated version of Water and Chrystal Light.

Thanks everyone for your support and suggestions. Mom's condition remains a mystery. We hoped that tests of the fluid around the lung and lung tissue samples would provide some clues. The good news is no cancer or other problems they could find. The bad news is we still don't know what is causing these problems with her heart rhythm (racing) and fluid building up on heart, lungs. She got a procedure which will keep the fluid from building up in lungs but where will it go now? The abdomen. I've warned Mom to watch for fast weight gain - if more than 2 lbs. a day, she should call her doctor. I will contact Dr C (whoever that is) and pose my questions to him. I posted this message in the Post Op Problems section of the Forum with the same message. MORAL OF MY STORY: PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR BODY AND CALL THE DOCTOR IF YOU START FEELING HEAVINESS IN YOUR CHEST OR YOUR HEART STARTS RACING. If Mom "toughed it out", she would be dead by now. (I apologize for being so morbid.)

I had my first fill on 11/17 and I have no restriction. 1.5cc I have lost 30 pounds since surgery 9/8. Since my fill I have not lost any weight. Gain 2 pounds lose 2 pounds kind of thing. I am scheduled for another fill 12/30, I hope and pray that will give me a jumpstart to weightloss. My doctor will only give you a fill if it has been 4-6weeks since your last fill anyway. I am hoping I can lose 10 pounds by Jan 8 which will be 40 pounds in 4 months.

My spouse is Army National Gaurd. We just got Tricare (the army health insurance) because we were told it covered Lap-Band. I went to my seminar today though and was told that they "cover" it but they pay "zero". I'm beyond stressed. I turn 29 this month and have been "obese" for the major part of the last 12 years. Yo-yoing up and down. My BMI is 38 so I was stressed enough about getting approved. Cause Tri-care says you have to be 100 pounds over and I'm 5'6 and 237 pounds.... I don't know if that's 100 over. It's 100 more than what I'd like to way but my healthy weight goes up to the 150's so that would mean I'd be in the 250, not the 230's. Weight gain has never been hard for me though and I can put on 15 pounds if I need to... I'm fighting to keep them off! But I must also have a health condition.... otherwise I must weight 350... which is goanna take longer! I do have on again off again hypertention. Usually it's just pre-hypertention... but I can stress myself and eat real bad and maybe shoot it up high enough to get approved.... though I could have a stroke too! I also have arthritis... but in my shoulder and they say it must be a "weight bearing joint" and at the time I don't walk on my hands... though if it means they pay the $17,400.00 for surgury and not me.... I could. I just have 3 kids and a spouse about to go to war. I want to stop this weight war and get control and get healthy. It just seems like the insurance company is out to kill me before they'll aprove me. I simply can't afford to finance this, it would break my family financially. That would be selfish of me. We only have one car and never get to go on vacations anywhere because we live so payday to payday.... now I'd have to ask my family to give up any and all fun we have money for (for several years) so I can get healthy and thinner. I just can't. Then today they say that they don't think Tricare will even cover it... ugh! Long story short, does anyone here have or know about Tricare. Do they pay zero on something they cover? Seriously? And do you know if I sound like I stand a chance of getting approved even if they do cover it?

Hello! Just wanted to introduce myself. I'm KatjaE and I just got my surgery date of August 27 -- about six weeks away. I'm a complete beginner here, but I think I'm ready. I'm more excited than nervous. I've already made a LOT of behavioral changes over the last year: -- In March 2009, I started exercising 6 days a week (33 minutes on a recumbent stationary bike). This did not lead to weight loss, but it made me feel stronger and healthier. -- In the summer of 2009, I stopped eating ice cream and started eating big salads almost every day. (This was a MAJOR change for me and my family.) This did not lead to weight loss either. -- In January and February of 2010, I had some brief but severe health issues caused by a drug interaction. This led me to change my diet in a couple of ways: ------ I started eating lots of plain yogurt and other dairy products with good bacteria (probiotics) to control some serious digestive issues caused by massive quantities of antibiotics during the hospitalizations. ------ I also cut way back on carbs because I learned (while in the hospital) that my blood sugar was a bit high -- not at the level of diabetes, but not good, either. I have lost about 20 pounds since February. I attribute the weight loss partly to the low-carb diet but also partly to the fact that I've stopped taking the medications that made me so sick in January and February. I believe that they might have caused part of my weight gain over the last few years. I am pursuing the lap band surgery because I want to control several lingering health issues: elevated blood sugar, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and sleep apnea (I use a CPAP machine). These issues do not affect my quality of life a great deal right now (at age 43), but I think they will cause problems as I get older. So I want to fix them now. I'm curious to hear from folks about how they decided whom to tell about their surgery. My own preference would be to tell my husband and children, and no one else. I'm not sure why I feel this way. I don't feel ashamed of needing the surgery, but for some reason -- I just don't want to tell anyone, not even my parents, who I'm sure would be supportive. Maybe I just don't want people to be asking me afterwards "so how much weight have you lost?" I'm not really interested in discussing my weight with anyone other than my doctor. Well, I'm looking forward to hearing from some of you and to reading all of the threads on this board! Thanks for listening! KatjaE :grouphug:

I'm also waiting to be banded. I really can't believe that I have gotten this big. My weight gain, especially in the last 1 1/2, has been emotional eating at it's worst:cry . I have been fat most of my life but it has been the last five years or so that I've really been defeated by my weight. I too thought that I was one of the few that thought about not wanting to take pictures and be around people. I don't shop at peak hours because I don't want some kid to comment on my weight. I don't like to go out and participate in outdoor activities. That's why I'm so happy that I finally was ready to be banded. I want to take pictures with my family, I want to go swimming. As a matter of a fact next year I turn 40. I'm having family pictures taken with my daughters to celebrate the success that I will have achieved by next year. :clap2: The level of hopelessness that I have felt because of the weight has been overwhelming but now I have hope. Now I know that I will succeed like so many of you. Thanks for the words of encouragement !!! Michele/soon to be banded

Howdy, All. Another glorious day in Mtg lending... DH & I spent yesterday doing yard work... the weeds are all mowed and I spent some time digging up the volunteer and squirel planted trees... That stinking Crepe Myrtle is the very devil. It grows from seed, AND the existing plants spread systemically - the roots are everywhere. ARRRRGH! I was able to get a couple of them completely out - roots and all - and I tamed the remaining bushes until I have the energy to go out and battle them again. Once a yard gets away from you, here, you might as well just get a flame thrower... it's nuts how awful my lawn is. Maybe I will put in a BIG patio..... So, today, every muscle in my back, butt & legs is SCREAMING every time I move. Nothing like spending several hours bent at the waist, pulling weeds and roots... *sigh* I guess I need to do yard work more frequently, eh? I think we are going to dedicate a day per weekend - at least that's what we are saying today... But you know how that goes. :] Kat - you won't get VERY lost... highway 20 is pretty easy to follow - and if we meet you part way, you won't even have to come into the big city. I am very excited. Now, when are you coming? I took about a minute of French - and I can fake it on the pronunciation - but it was too confusing to learn two languages that are SO similar. It messed me up with both languages pronunciation... so I dumped the French and devoted myself to Spanish. Mandy - I think I would have been quite surprised if "Flushed Away" DIDN'T have any toilet humor... it would seem to be expected in that particular film. Obviously I haven't been keeping up with my kid movies. I haven't seen any of these, yet. Chris - Don't worry too much about making any decisions regarding Andy... I think, in the end, you will find any decisions to be made are pretty obvious. Don't overthink it - just go with the flow and enjoy. Hugs! Eileenie - how awful to hear about such a horrid thing on a day dedicated to jokes! Hugs! So, how do you score a 4 day week? Did you take Good Friday off? Does your company give it as a Holiday? Spring has sprung, here, too. My peonies have big ol' pink buds on them. I should have flowers in the next day or two. LOVE peonies. St. Sherry - I think I like that... LOL! Sorry about the weight gain... Do you need a fill? Or have you just been eating around the band? I find my self eating more than I need on a pretty regular basis... which explains the fact that my scale is not budging from 287. *sigh* So, you are a Rieki Master, now... can you focus your Rieki energies toward weightloss? Or is that more of a spirit vs body thing? Betty - it truly was a fabulous day to be outside, yesterday, too. The sun was shining and it was lovely warm - but not scorchy at all. Ahhhh. Dianne - lol! Wouldn't THAT be something... AF Day passed me by, thankfully! I don't like practical jokes very much... and I am not in any mood to be surprised, these days. Hope that swelling goes down, soon. I know you are anxious to see what "the girls" will look like once they are at their normal size. Hugs!!! Cindy - MMMMMMmmmmm - crab cakes! Love those things... I would probably eat more than one... you are so good! I am going to have to try this "chess pie" stuff one of these days. It sounds so yummy! Darcy - if you skip exercise for an entire month, does that make you an exercise virgin, again? *sigh* OK - ZERO miles for March... so my YTD total remains 38 miles. How pathetic. Patty - HUGS!! I am glad DM is there to help out. I wouldn't fret TOO much... it will take the boys most of their vacation to figure out how to get into too much trouble... :] Hopefully, anything they get up to won't be permanently damaging. Well, I have lots more Spanish to study... I can't remember future or past tense verb forms, at ALL - so right now I speak a very limited version of pigeon spanish. Not so good if I want to teach the stuff. Back to the books! Hugs & Love to All!

Stop beating yourself up. The reason your getting the band is because of bad eating habits, and we all wouldn't be here if we ate small portions and stayed true on diets. My doctor gave me a 5 pound weight gain limit and I gained 3 pounds the week before my surgery and another 2 before the actual surgery. I also went out for a lobster feast the night before my surgery, and I had surgery at 8 in the morning. I just had to make sure I hadn't had anything to eat or drink for 12 hours prior to surgery. I really wouldn't worry about once the lap band is on and your eating habits because you can't and won't want to eat when it's over believe me. I was a huge pig before I got the band. I could eat sooooooo much and now I eat under 1500 calories a day, it's amazing. DON"T CANCEL! Just think how much it took to get you this far. I'll be thinking good thoughts for you on the 24th.

Hi LadyTonya! The weight management people are (supposed to be anyway) registered dieticians to help you in your weight loss journey..I have seen mine once so far--11 more visits to go. They help you make good decisions when it comes to eating..esp after being banded. Endocrinology is for glands and hormones...hmm not sure on that one, but maybe they want to rule out any glandular problems that would cause weight gain...cause then the banding would be useless. I called my pulm docs office to ask a question and they got all up in arms...they were completely unreasonable! I asked them if I could go to another sleep apnea location (same company mind you) and they told me the doc doesn't read there and I explained that my insurance covered the "other" location and ----they could get me in way sooner than where they wanted me to go...doc promised to get me in asap...and the staff scheduled me for 5 weeks later!!!! Ummmmm, no that doesn't work for me! They were so rude they told the person at the other sleep center that I called them, and the new girl had the nerve to tell me that me getting the sleep apnea test sooner wouldn't get me surgery sooner!!!!!!! OMG....so I explained to her that I could not afford to pay out of pocket and as a patient I had the right to make sure that everyone got paid for services rendered. She was much better after that! I wanted to slap her. My surgeon specifically told me the sooner the sleep test, the sooner the band. Don't feel that you are being a pest......it is your right to see that anything related to your surgery goes smoothly!! I haven't been banded yet, I am like you--I really want this to happen!!! Best Wishes!!! Let us know how you are doing!!

Well for me is simple. During my sophomore year of high school I became depressed due to bad family situations and rape. The depression turned in to a food obsession. Ice cream never felt so sweet! Once I entered college it was all down hill from there, the drinking and eating was horrible for me. I also binged on food, kept a secret. I would eat two whole boxes of thin crust pizza and 20 buffalo wings :hurray: ouch! I also stopped exercising and that of course added to the weight gain!

I have had 22 surgeries to date, thus LOTS of incisions. And lots and lots (thousands) of stitches.... One thing I have noticed is that not all wounds heal the same. I have had 3 surgeries through my belly button, and NOT the sleeve (too much scar tissue). I have had holes develop, and I think the reason is the scarring pushing up from underneath makes it look like the "hole" is getting larger, when in fact it is actually healing from underneath. Scar tissue is thicker, denser material than the tissue that was originally there, so misshapen formation is not uncommon, and eventually the scar will smooth out with a little ridging over the area where the scalpel was used. The skin on the body is not necessarily the same in one area that is is in another area. Skin that has been stretched from weight gain will not be of the same thickness necessarily as skin in an area the hasn't been stretched so much. So it seems reasonable that scarring will heal differently and may even look different on different parts of body. One thing to look for as a danger sign would be draining. Redness is common, to a degree, because the skin is angry it has been disrupted and it is in pain. Now it has to heal, and it wasn't planning on that! Just keep an eye on it, it will be painful for awhile, it is a deep scar. Always contact your Dr.s, even if they say the same thing over and over again, if you have concerns - it's what you've paid them for! Good luck to you, And keep us informed!

this makes me very sad... It sounds like you settled for less than you wanted out of a relationship because you thought you didn't deserve better because of your looks... If you are with a man who treats you like that, he will treat you like that whether you are fat or skinny. My husband treats me the same whether I'm skinny or fat, people told me sometimes what a good husband I had because he didn't care about the weight gain and loved me the same? I would think what the hell? so he's a saint for staying with me? No he is a man who loves his wife and I love him and we made a commitment for life. To be side by side through all of our changes. Me being fat or him losing hair has no bearing on the core relationship. Please know that you need to stop selling yourself short and you are much more than just your outward appearance.

I think I developed it with my first daughter as I have a lot of fluid retention throughout my body and just the sudden weight gain in the pregnancy yes I've been told that having the hernia repaired is going to change my life around I can't wait😁😁😁

Thank you all for your kind replies. It's such a fine balance as many of us long-term bandsters can attest to. I think the common problem that I see in many of the posts of long-term bandsters (and that I myself suffered from) is that the "perfect" fill (if such a thing ever exists) ends up becoming too tight a few years down the line, which leaves us with one of two choices: 1) a small unfill + being extra careful in order not to gain weight back 2) complications that may lead to larger unfills (and thus more risk of weight gain) or revision surgery all together. I am not the most compliant bandster but not the worst either so this continues to be a struggle for me, 5+ years out. I also suffered from an eating disorder in the past (binge eating) so need to be careful of not overly restricting my food choices as this seems to fuel it. Thank you all again. I will definitely keep you posted...

Had my pre-op testing yesterday. As far as I know, all is still a GO for next Monday! One thing I haven't seen anyone talk about yet - eating disorders, bad relationships with food, bad habits. That is what I'm going to think and meditate and pray on today. I am seeing a therapist [for about 8 weeks] and most of my issues seem to be when I confuse emotions with hunger. Mostly, I tend to "hide" the emotions, but act them out in eating. So we've been talking about how I feel when I eat. How I feel when personal relationships or life cause stress. How I eat when I'm stressed - and more. I hope to go for prayer ministry later today - I am a firm believer in the ability of God to heal us and restore us - so I'm thinking about these issues. Any of you gone to counseling? Uncovered any "reasons" for weight gain? Had any healing or restoration in your relationship with food?

Hi Everyone. My name is Mary and I live in Las Vegas. My band date is June 5th! I am married to the love of my life - we will have our 8th anniversary in October, but we met 33 years ago in Europe! I am a retired Army nurse, and then I retired a second time from the Healthcare technology industry. My husband is also retired from the Army and the federal government. We are now blessed to enjoy everyday together and to travel often. I became ill about 6 years ago and that was when the weight gain spiraled out of control. I have lots of things to look forward to and I want to be able to enjoy my health everyday. The lap band is the most important thing I can do to get my health back in order. I love that we have this group! I want to hear every detail about everyone's experience. I am scared about the procedure but NOT about the journey. Just want to get past that anesthesia! You are all in my thoughts and prayers. In a few days, it will be our month!!:sad: