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Hi all! Sorry I've been in a whirlwind (I'm not sure thats how you say that in english...) of work for the last few days. The political situation in France is very unstable and unsettling right now and because I work with public funding it's been more than crazy. I'm in Canada but am having to unexpectingly having to fly back to France early later today ( was meant to be in the US next week) to be able to hit the floor running if **** hits the fan with the election results Sunday. That said... I am proud of myself because I put my foot down and will not work through the weekend. I'm going to a music festival in the loire valley instead and will dance and be merry. Happy belated birthday @LisaCaryl! I hope this next trip round the sun is a good one and that by the end of it you are where you want to be. @NickelChip I'm happy your holidays went well and applaud you making good choices when away from home. I've got to the point where I'm loosing very slowly ( 5 pounds in 6 weeks) and so am just trying to make the best choices I can without over thinking things. I've finally dropped to 67.5kg (148.8lbs) (BMI 23.9) and have accepted things are going to be slow from now on .... I have three weeks of hectic work left before I'm on holiday for 5 whole weeks before starting my new job in September. Once I'm on holiday I'm going to try and up my steps and focus on eating the best I can( and drinking less alcohol) and I'll see where that gets me. @RonHall908 Like every true Parisian I know .... I leave Paris 48 hours before the games start! I'll be away on holiday for 5 whole weeks with my partner. The longest holidays we have ever taken. The games are going to be hectic and access to a lot of areas in the city are restricted - most of the bridges are also closed ... so we're just leaving the city... like every sane person I know! That said... in France we get 5 weeks of paid holiday a year plus 1 extra week if we work over 35 hours a week (my case) plus 11 bank holidays plus basically unlimited paid sick leave plus like an extra day when you move houses, 3 days for a wedding, 3 days for the death of a parent, 2 weeks for the death of a child, 6 months full pay maternity, up to 5 days a year full pay for sick children under 14 etc etc etc ... so we only use holiday days for holidays so every summer ( office working ) Parisians tend to leave paris en masse for most of August - we all joke that the 15th of August Paris is empty every year ... so this isn't so specific to the olympics! I did go for a walk in Versailles not long ago and saw the prep for the horse racing ... it's going to look so so cool with the chateau as a backdrop!

JennyBeez you wrote; " grieve the convenience of high fat/sugar/calorie foods. The ability to go anywhere with friends or family for a meal and not have to worry about 'will I be able to find something I can eat?' and cruising the menu online first." Hi, I'm blonde patriot living in CDA, and I have a problem. I'm a social eater..." This is the hardest for me. I am already sick of doing the menu scans beforehand. It quickly made me realize that 99.9% of the food at restaurants is a no go due to being fried, made with sugar or extremely high in carbs and calories! Plus, if you're like I am, I detest cooking and eating out is what my husband, friends and family do - we enjoy, excuse me I use to and they still do enjoy food and the experience. It took all the joy out of get togethers for me. Plus most food I can eat tastes bland now. Now before anyone says "but you can still enjoy being with friends and family foods just a small part of that" <rolls eyes> they don't understand - it wasn't and isn't a small part of it. When we used to go out it was to eat, we'd share our choices, talk about the differences between this and that choice here and at other restaurants etc. It was one of the main reasons we got together! We had certain restaurants for celebrating birthdays, promotions, good semester grades and holidays etc. We had certain dishes - our favorites depending on what our activities for the day were. Now, I spend the first 15 mins examining the menu picking each thing apart ..does it have fat, too many calories, carbs, protein or hidden sugars will it even taste decent? Is it 300 calories or preferably less? After that I look longingly at others choices I actually want. Then comes the dreaded lets get an after dinner drink or coffee with dessert. So I get to watch that too from the sidelines. Even my husbands and my retirement has changed, we had a list of the places in the U.S. that were known for specialties such as a lobster rolls in Maine, black beans and rice in New Orleans, Philly cheese steaks in Philly, New York pizza etc., for our first year of retirement we were going to rent an RV and travel..visit those places based on our food choices and eat their specialties, they were our destinations. Then, after the first year my husband wanted to "belly up" to the shrimp and lobster bars on cruises for "days on end." Now all this has changed and I'm now resentful at myself and society. Myself because well becoming obese and society for being judgmental and valuing youth, beauty and being thin over the value of a persons worth inside! Yes, I'm thinner and healthier and most likely will live longer (no guarantees)... but...to be honest I don't want to take a walk instead of going to a restaurant as one person said and as my dietician suggests. They're NOT the same thing, one does not equal the other! No friend who wants to go out and about with the girls to shop and eat wants to substitute a walk instead. I DO know its my "new reality" and I do what I must, I'm just not happy about it. It feels as if a part of the joy has been removed, sucked out of life along with a portion of my stomach. Yes...I do try and find other things.. .but yeah well. Everything involved food, go to the beach pack a lunch (not two separate lunches one I can eat and the rest for everyone else), go shopping, go to the theater with dinner beforehand, go to the movies, go dancing - nope no alcohol or anything with calories oh joy - water!!!. Lol no one ever said hey girls lets do a girls day...and hit the gym where we can all sweat together, grunt and watch others pop veins struggling to lift a weight bar for fun! Even my poor husband has had to change, he used to be excited to bring some new food home he found at a new restaurant or even at the grocery store he'd want to share with me...nope not anymore. He just eats it before he gets home to save me and him the having to turn it down. So yes, I mourn not only the food, but the convenience, fun and get togethers. I have even noticed my friends don't call much anymore to "do" lunches because they'd always ask "where CAN you eat now"? The choices were limited or I'd have to ask the server for considerations..making it more work than fun. 300 calories or less is extremely hard to do at restaurants and my friends didn't want to put me through it anymore. So yes, I mourn. Sorry for the long whine/rant but Jenny geez brought it all up again for me.

being on these forums long enough i would assume that one should realize by now that everyone is different. we say/post it multiple times a day, every day. i don't like weight lifting . it's don't like olives. i don't like talking about my wls. others don't feel the same way. i get that. we are all different people getting our own versions of joy. i may not make the same connections to things as you do, and thats cool. i mean, some people have sex every day while others don't. some people weigh themselves every morning others don't. some people read books while others don't. why do people drink too much and become alcoholics? alcohol is so gross. this line if thinking is the close sibling to why do people eat too much and get fat? being fat is so gross. to paraphrase you: "but how did you get to the point where <eating> was enjoyable enough to do it often <that u end up being 300 lbs>?" the incredulity in your post is loud and clear...but really, if u think about it, its not that impossible to understand (especially from the point of view from a person who was morbidly obese) your intention may be not to sound judgy...but in my very insignificant opinion, you kinda do. but i mean, you are entitled to say whatever you want. i guess i just wanna ask you to take a pause and reflect on how ur post may or may not have come across. sorry. 😔 i don't normally weigh in this heavily in anonymous internet chats as i hate confrontation, but this touched a wee nerve for me. (i may just delete this post after i overthink it to death...we shall see...i have already edited this post a gazillion times in my overthinking, ha.)

@TwinkleToes87 you know yourself and your weaknesses best, but for most people, never having sugar again after surgery is probably taking it too far. I'll grant that there may be some triggering foods that some people would do best to avoid, just as a person in recovery who is addicted to alcohol will avoid drinking, not even a little bit. But giving up all sugar forever, foe most people, is the type of idea that sounds really great when you're planning how perfect you are going to be after this life changing surgery, and quickly becomes way harder and more punishing than you thought it would be when you are on the other side and realize the surgery was on your stomach but not on your brain/personality. I definitely have a sweet tooth, and unfortunately, gastric bypass did not make me hate sugar the way some people do. It still tastes good. But it also takes a lot less to satisfy me now. I can't physically eat two scoops of ice cream. I can eat about 5 bites. So instead of buying a big container of ice cream for home, which could quickly get me in trouble (because I can eat 5 bites at a time, but I could probably eat it 5 times a day, too), I save that treat for when I go out to my favorite farm stand with amazing homemade ice cream. And I split it with someone else so I'm not tempted to take it home for later. I don't buy a big bag of Hershey's Kisses for the house, but I will buy a single truffle from a chocolate shop and savor it. I won't buy packaged cookies, but I'll buy a single cookie from a good local bakery and eat it over two days. For me, the indulgence is now in the quality of what I am enjoying, not how much of it I can consume. It's not "no sugar ever" but "if I am eating sugar, it better be the best and only a little." And just so you know, the day before I had to start my 2-week liquid diet, I went to a restaurant and ordered a massive meal made up entirely of fried appetizers. I felt so sick and gross after, and it was that similar thinking of what if I never have this again. We all have those moments.

I don't post too much on here anymore because I'm 2 years and 3 months post of from bypass. Life has pretty much normalized and I've reached my goal weight. I would like to get down to maybe 195 lbs but I'm not sweating it too much because I feel the best I've ever been since starting this whole process. I am six feet tall and sit around 198/199 at the moment. I started this journey at around 340 lbs. I lost 30 lbs before my surgery. I have lots of loose skin on my belly, my thighs, and my arms. Unfortunately, I can't afford skin removal but I'm saving to do my arms next summer. After a while, sometimes you have days where you no longer connect to your old obese self. I have days where I feel huge and ugly still. It's easy to forget where you came from or how far you've come. What helps me is now and then I check my old photos and make comparisons so I can see my progress. The body dysmorphia is so real and something I know most of you if not all can and will relate to. Losing the weight did not fix my body image but it's different for everyone. Some things IT DID improve however: -Improve my joint health (daily knee pain gone). -Took up running. Avid runner now. Have done races and run regularly outside. -Lowered my blood pressure. -Lowered my heart rate. -No longer profusely sweat or turn red from basic activities. -No longer use alcohol and food to cope with anxiety. -So much energy to move and do chores/tasks. -Healed my obsession with food. I love seeing everyone's progress and reading your stories. Getting the surgery is not a fix-all. We have to do the work to eat the right foods in the right portions and get exercise regularly. It's easier the first year but I can tell you it gets harder and harder. Every day is a battle when you're trying to escape obesity. That's not a bad thing. It's rewarding and you learn so much and become a more resilient and deep person. So keep remembering why you did this, where you came from, and how much better life is getting for you!

This is more of what I was looking for when I posted my question. I was, in no way, judging anyone for what they do and don't like. Personally, I couldn't get past the taste or smell of alcohol enough to get to the point where I liked it enough to do it everyday, or even every once in a while. What I was more curious about was if it was that way for others of if they liked it right from the beginning. I know some people in my everyday life that hate the taste but drink it for the effects it gives, and that's more important to them than how it actually tastes. I know some who actually like the taste. And some who don't care either way but drink it in social settings more to fit in than anything else. So I was wondering how those on here that refuse to give it up (or even those that have no real opinion on it but still drink just because) got there. Do they have an addiction to it? Do they just enjoy the taste? Do they not care either way? I always wonder the same thing about cigarettes. I hate the taste and smell, the idea that if I smoke, others could breathe in the 2nd hand smoke and it could hurt them, how it makes clothes/skin/cars/furniture/breath smell, etc... My mom smoked like a chimney and I never understood it. I'm not judging anyone who smokes, either. I literally just don't understand it. I have an addiction to food, and I don't know why I turned something that I had a normal relationship with into an addiction that was slowly killing me. I don't know why it took having a major surgery to help me get back in control and on track. But I know food tastes good. Food smells good. There are exceptions, of course, but it's easy to find the good stuff. Since I've never thought of drugs, alcohol, or smoking as the good stuff, I'm always curious how anyone gets started on it to begin with. I know I can't go back to eating the way I did, or refusing to change the way I did things, or else I'll be right back to where I started. But why it took a surgery to get me here? I honestly don't know. I've been on here long enough that people should know I don't have ill intentions when I ask a question. I have a genuine curiosity, and the only way people learn, is to ask.

Hi All! Lately, I have been receiving attention for my weight loss, mostly positive. People have been asking me how I lost the weight. I prefer to keep my surgery private and only a select few know about it because I do not want to hear negative comments. When people ask how I did it, I say, "Thank you! I have been following a low carb diet, walking every day, and not drinking alcohol." Recently, someone commented on how quickly I lost the weight on this diet, and for a moment, I worried that they might be thinking I was using drugs. LOL Does anyone use different excuse?

@The Greater Fool, if you're haven't already said before, i heart you. u always so calm and wise and funny. the 3 things i admire most about others. ok, now that i got that love fest out of my system... @BlondePatriotInCDA, further to your discussion of the smells of different alcohol... now for me, the smell of what i weirdly all "brown liquor" always made me gag a little..."brown liquor" is what i call whiskeys, cognacs, brandy, scotch, dark rums, aged tequilas, etc. for those keeping score i only prefer to drink clear liquors (vodka, gin, clear tequila and rum) and red wine. anyway, my Mr. prefers the brown liquors...and over the years (decades!), i have come to not hate as much the smell of them (i still don't drink them tho lol). in a weird way i associate the smell with him and since i kinda like him, i seem to not be hostile to the smell as much. i mean i wont douse myself in it as a perfume or anything, but still. just a useless anecdote i guess. (i have no real reason to bring this up other than to make an attempt to lighten the mood on this thread 🤷🏻‍♀️)

Traveling is hard. I used to travel a lot for work and by the end of a week of restaurant meals, I would be craving fruit and veg so much because I could never seem to get enough of that. I have found ordering simple chicken dishes in restaurants with a veg side and skipping the starch has been the best way to get something well-balanced when away from home, and that won't upset my stomach. Can you stop at a grocery store to get Greek or Icelandic yogurt and fresh berries when on the road? I'm not sure how common it is to have a small refrigerator in your hotel room in the places you're going, but a serving of unsweetened yogurt with fruit and a sprinkle of sliced almonds is a great start to the day that requires no cooking or blending. You could also try raw veg and hummus (if you are able to tolerate raw veg). Does your job require going out to dinner with clients? If not, you might see if you can travel with a small electric hot pot to heat your own meals in your hotel room. Maybe bring small containers of your favorite spices to make simple go-to meals on the road. A few times I recall staying in hotels that had true kitchens and being able to buy groceries when I arrived. That was such a relief. It's funny that when you start traveling for work, you think it will be such a treat to go out to eat all the time, and after you do it for a while, it's not fun at all. Congratulations on making it 12 weeks with no alcohol! That's a great accomplishment. I had a single sip of a friend's cocktail this weekend and I have to say, it didn't taste good to me anymore. Maybe it was just a bad cocktail, but hopefully my tastebuds have changed for that. Sadly, I was not cured of my sweet tooth from the surgery. It was such a disappointment when chocolate was just as delicious as before.

When I first had my sleeve surgery, I was losing pretty rapidly. BUT, I had a LOT to loose. If you look in my signature, you can see my stats. The bigger you are, the faster the weight comes off. It also depends on what you eat, how often you eat, and how you move your body. The more you work out, the more calories you need. The less you work out, the less you need. If your body thinks it's starving, it'll hold on to every single bit of fat, every calorie, to protect you from starving to death. Maybe think about walking more, swimming, not so much heavy work outs. Lower your calories (try going back to your post surgery calorie amounts of 1000 - 1300). Look at your sugar, salt, carb, and fat intake and start adjusting/lowering it. Are you getting enough protein? That should be key in all this. And hit your fluid intake. Minimum of 64oz per day. For now, limit your alcohol and soda intake, if you drink either of those. Kind of do a reset on your body AND mind and get yourself use to doing things the post surgery way again.

@Noelle74 congrats on your weightloss! @BlueParis you look great btw and thank God I’m not French! 😂 I can’t imagine living somewhere where I felt ashamed of myself constantly because of my weight….. not that I haven’t in the past here in the states but never consistently as you’ve described. It’s interesting bc I’m fairly educated and a registered nurse to boot and still managed to become obese even having a very extensive knowledge of nutrition. I feel like a lot of “skinny” people just think that fat people are lazy and have no self control when often that isn’t the reason (or at least the only reason we are fat). For me at least, my obesity is multi-faceted…. a) I love food, particularly yummy fattening food and sweets and I DO lack self control when it comes to overeating. See d) below lol b) I also have diagnosed PCOS which makes me insulin resistant so I don’t metabolize carbohydrates like a normal person and they make me gain weight fast as opposed to someone who isn’t insulin resistant. This just makes it difficult to maintain a healthy diet for me and others like me in the long term bc you almost have to steer completely clear of carbs ALL the time. And I mean most carbs….bread, fruit, etc. c) Like @NickelChip has pointed out, at least here in the states, its like you’re set up for failure from the get go if your busy……it’s soooo difficult to eat healthy on the go if you don’t prep ahead. Good luck “grabbing” something while you’re running around that’s easy, cheap and isn’t processsed to death and horrible for you lol. And I swear the food in European countries is better than here and less processed. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Who knows? d) I’m flat out a food addict……I have no doubt. I mentioned one time before, I was a heavy smoker until January. I only quit because my surgeon made me. lol. I have tons of alcoholics and drug addicts in my family. I’m someone that truly believes that addiction is partially genetic. My addiction just happens to be food and tobacco. Not to say that you can’t overcome this. It’s just something that is and another hurdle to jump. I mean who knows, maybe if I lived in France I’d be shamed into being skinny? But that just sounds like a miserable position to be in. I’m glad you’re getting tiny again @BlueParis so you don’t feel that way and for your health and cerebral palsy. For now I’m with @LisaCaryl and @NickelChip, I would like to be healthier and it would be nice to be able to buy clothes in the regular store/department and not the fat lady store. At 288# I had gotten to where I never wanted to leave the house bc I was ashamed of what I looked like. But I’m in an 18ish now and at least no longer feel like I have to hide my giant fat self inside anymore. So that’s definitely a win for me right!? @LisaCaryl keep us updated on your knee…..Hope it’s ok, you probably need an anti inflammatory but they’re harsh on the stomach so be careful! @RonHall908 I wish I was like you with your exercising! I envy that strength and drive you have bc I’m lacking that. I did however get my Pilates bar today and did the workout that @NickelChip posted. Now I just have to keep up with it. We’ll see 😉

I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. Break ups can be very hard. I had a bad one when I was about your age & went through a period of depression & anxiety. Ended up leaving my job & moving back home. The depression coloured everything in my life. It may be doing the same for you too & causing you to regret the surgery & a change of behaviour that has bought you many benefits (weight loss, health improvements, more active, fewer restrictions, etc,). Yes, I’m considerably older than you & that means I can look at things differently than you so I don’t mind if you think I’m talking rubbish & don’t understand. 🙂 My friends are big eaters & drinkers & the first couple of times we went out after my surgery I felt a little uncomfortable & conspicuous because I sipped one alcoholic drink for hours, took a while to eat & ordered small plates. Then I realised, I wasn’t going out with them to eat & drink, I was going out with them to spend time with them. What I ate or didn’t eat & what I drank or didn’t drink was irrelevant. It was our friendship that was important. We socialise often (though likely not as often as you). At each others’ homes, bars, fine dining restaurants, etc. My surgery & food choices haven’t stopped us or slowed us down once (oh, except when they wanted to go to an high tea with unlimited champagne - I rarely eat sweet & one glass of champagne would be ample so not worth it. We did dinner instead.) Actually one of my friends decided to have surgery the year after me though she is more flexible in her food & drinking choices than me. Another one wants to have the surgery. And the fourth in our group, has slowed her eating & is making better food & alcohol choices. Not for anything I’ve said. I guess I’ve become a bit of a role model for a healthier life. LOL! Maybe have a chat with someone, like a therapist, about how you’re feeling to help you work through this.

I have had insomnia since I was a kid and have to change sleep meds every few years. Oh and I have anxiety/ocd and ADHD. I was on an extended release form of ambien prior to surgery and just like you, I found that it stopped working. I had to add alprazolam to it to sleep through the night, but that's not great long term. My therapist said because of the absorption rate, going back to the highest dose of ambien should fix that. Unfortunately I still struggled to sleep more than 3 hrs unless I added the alprazolam again. But I recently tried alcohol free zzzquil in its place and it does the trick! I started with a 15ml dose and I'm adjusting down from that, because it was a little hard to wake up the first time but I wasn't groggy at all. Hopefully this works for you too or gets you closer to something that does!

Two questions. One I thought I read somewhere that caffeine was a no no post SADI?? Or was it just carbonation, maybe. After I gained it all back I started back on my Coke Zero and I have to kick that again pre op if sugar alcohol is bad. I gave it up for over two years so I can do it though. Second, , have you eaten out yet? If so, How are you with oils and stuff that they tend to sneak in even the “healthier options” I am a little worried I won’t be able to eat in public ever again.

I had sleeve surgery July 2023; 1. What was the best part of surgery for you? Everyday things, like my backside no longer taking up more than one seat on the bus, being able to comfortably close belt on plane seat, being able to walk with a bounce in my step, I now love clothes shopping etc. 2. What was the worst part of surgery for you? Severe complications from the day after the surgery which went on for months 3. Did you have any complications (minor or major) during or after your surgery? Yes, suffered from severe pancreatitis, had a leak in my stomach (twice), allergic reaction to medication given to me in hospital, blood infection. Ended up spending three months in hospital over a period of four months. Had to have another procedure last month also. 4. How has adjusting to your new life been for you? Life after so many months in hospital meant it took a few months to get energy back and was on a sick cert so not able to do anything but rest. Now almost 11 months later I feel great for the most part. Have found it difficult at times to cope with the food choices but now that I am on regular food I just have to try and stick to the smaller portions, eating slower and only an occasional alcoholic drink. I don't let anything stop me now, always carry a protein bar with me just in case I end up some place where the food isn't suitable. 5. How long did it take you to feel comfortable eating food? Months as I was on a feeding tube in the hospital and then the times they took me off it I had to go back to liquids and start the reintroduction phase all over again. Since February really that I am comfortable and now I am even trying foods I never ate before (I had homemade egg muffins today - used to hate eggs). 6. Is there anything you can’t eat anymore that you used to enjoy? I used to consider popcorn a food group in its own right and ate way way too much of it so now just have had it a couple of times. I love potatoes but try to stay away from them. But these are my choices, not a case that I can't tolerate them anymore 7. What was your recovery like? Any vomiting or dumping syndrome? Vomiting a lot when ill, couldn't even hold down water, but as part of eating only a few times and I know that it was because I ate too quickly. No dumping syndrome. 8. How long did it take you to feel semi-normal after surgery? 10 months 9. Did you experience higher energy level post surgery? Yes but only now 10. Did surgery affect your mental health? Yes, I fully believe I suffered PTSD as a result of the complications 11. Do you regret it? Would you recommend it? I regretted it for approx 9 months post op and was very annoyed with myself for deciding to have the op but that was only because of the complications and crap-fest I went through. Now I am through the worst of it I am starting to feel better about it all, I no longer blame myself (but haven't really forgiven the doctor yet) and I would recommend it if it is something you need in order to achieve a healthy long life.

A couple of things here.... 1) you might need to stay at the 1200 calories since you're working out. If your body thinks it's starving, it'll hold on to absolutely EVERYTHING. If you're getting in your fluids and protein, and you're working out a lot, then you may need to stay at the higher end of your allotted calories so your body knows it's not starving. 2) what kinds of exercises are you doing? Are you switching things up to "confuse" your body? If you do the same things every time, your body will get comfortable and the exercises will stop being effective. 3) are you using a tracking app to keep track of your calories, carbs, protein, fats? That's so so important, because it's so easy to forget to count drinks or sauces or fruits and veggies. You need to track absolutely everything that goes in your mouth so you can really see what you're eating and drinking. 4) are you getting in your protein and fluids? That's so key, both pre and post op. Protein helps you get, and stay, full longer. And fluids are your best friend. But you want more than just plain water. Gatorade zero (they even have protein gatorade zero) Propel flavored water, sugar free fruit juice, protein shakes, etc... it all counts. 5) start cutting your sugar and salt intake WAY down. Both of those can add, or hold on to, fat and calories. Limit any alcohol you might be drinking. Limit your snacks and be mindful of what you have. 6) No cheating. At all. During pre-op and also the first couple of months of post-op, absolutely NO cheating. That's really important. As time goes on and you're further out, you might be able to navigate a cheat meal here and there, within reason. But right now? No.

Hello All- i posted for the first time just about three years ago with some anxieties as a spouse with my wife prepping to undergo the gastric sleeve. I originally noted being concerned about our lifestyle changes, relationship impacts (I had heard all the horror stories) and most of all health concerns into the future. The community was incredibly supportive and I had learned tips and useful knowledge that helped me coach and support my wife through it. I am happy to say we are better than we ever have been and her self confidence is through the roof. However the MAIN reason the surgery ever was even considered was to get her diabetes that started while she was pregnant with our first child and got very concerning bad with our fourth has still stuck around and caused issues….. First- this is Life changing not just for the partner getting the surgery, but the spouse too. We used to be foodies and that all had to go out the door. Same with alcohol. Two bites and you are full, a pint and you are drunk. So activities, dates, etc. and new hobbies should all be prepared for well in advance. Luckily we are both athletes and coaches and this allowed to have an outlet that wasn’t our prior foodies and beer/ brewery culture pastime. Two- Relationship, anyone who tells you that this leads to automatic divorce/ break up is paranoid or lying. Out of her support group offered by our health network, I think only 1 or 2 of about fifteen women ended up separating and that was from the other spouse cheating. I have to say that in many ways, after four kids and all our activities, youth sports and coaching- it created a second honeymoon period for us and really strengthened our romance and relationship because we both focused on our health again jointly and the magnetism increased dramatically. Third- It might not fix the problem…. We did not jointly go into the surgery for cosmetic or weight loss reasons. It was the diabetes and the doctors said it was a solid shot to cure or mitigate the disease. It was for a while, but it keeps back up. despite healthy eating, despite exercise and coaching, despite the surgery- medications came back into the picture and so did the celebrity weight loss drug (which is really supposed to be for diabetes…) This has been keeping everything under control but is a case of the cure being as bad as the sickness. The side effects are brutal and definitely have a quality of life impact, but we both want to live to see grandkids someday….. Fourth- dysmorphia is VERY really. We are both naturally larger people. I was a lineman in high school and college and she was a softball catcher in high school and college and ended up also playing women’s rugby there as well. Even with the surgery she went from an XL to L but she got her college/ high school figure back and as such her confidence went through the roof and started dressing like she hadn’t in years. With the medication though??? Her figure, face shape, everything changed. Down to a Small or Medium. For almost a year and a half she hasn’t recognized herself in the mirror. It’s a double wham with the surgery and the medication. Between her best friends and myself (we have all been in the same friend/ team group since college) the support was to have fun with it and go with the flow. Instead of worrying about it (the dysmorphia) it was embrace the change. All new clothes she could never wear before, she’s been a redhead now and then blonde and still is. Cut her hair shorter, started wearing makeup (never really did)- all just to try and put a positive spin on it. I’ve been the spoiled recipient of having a brand new girl (don’t think I haven’t romanced and spoiled the you-know-what out of her), but at the end of the day it’s been mitigation of all the life changes. The last part has been the most detailed because it’s the most recent and to me has been the most impactful- NOT having the surgery do its intended purpose and the dysmorphia we’re both very difficult given the efforts and life changes made. We’ve done everything we can to make lemonade out of those lemons though. We had an anniversary vacation better than our honeymoon this past summer (she has always been way out of my league and these days it’s very much over the top- I feel incredibly spoiled) and we have made time to ride our bikes together with our oldest babysitting the kids and we come to each others games when we coach. I would tell any spouse; husband or wife of someone who is going to have the surgery and then or also do all the meds: 1. Support. It’s a huge deal and you need to show up. 2. Don’t get insecure about your relationship because of the surgery. If you are worried it means you might not have a great relationship to start with…. 3. You will need to change your life too. Because of my size and my weight lifting, I need a lot of protein and calories. I will never look like a Hollywood star (like she now does) and always an NFL lineman- BUT- if I bring a cannoli, pie or a full growler into the house in addition to steak/ salmon, etc it’s teasing and not fair. You will need to learn self control to support your spouse… 4. Inspire and come up with ideas for positive re-enforcement. If the dysmorphia or depression sets in, you need to find fun things to do, supportive steps to take and positive angles to keep things going. 5. If you are doing all this as a spouse, what about YOU??? Are you going to die a martyr? Take care of YOURSELF too. I go lifting 3 times a week, go fishing in season. And for my 40th birthday when she asked what I wanted?? I got us a long weekend on the Cape, bought her some dresses I wanted to see her in and sent her to get her hair, nails, toes, eyelashes, etc.. done. Said I wanted a long weekend with my movie star wife. It was a great time, kid free and continued to strengthen our marriage. Anyways- why am I writing this? Posterity? Self reflection? Not really…. I just want to give Spouses a roadmap. It’s a huge change and you need to navigate the waters well. If you do you will benefit as much as your loved one. Good luck.

Congrats on the surgery and taking a huge step forward in improving your health! Also, welcome to the post-op malaise phase of the process, haha! I was there a few months ago, and I think its a rite of passage to be like "What have I done?!!" somewhere in the first 6 weeks. It does get better gradually, but the first month is the roughest. You will be able to eat "normal" foods again soon. I think I was able to eat most things again around the 3 month mark (mostly excluding carbonated drinks and alcohol). Just take your time and listen to your body. Some things will fight back, and if they do, just wait 3-5 days before trying again. I had a lot of trouble with green veggies initially, but was able to handle them around week 6. Also remember the weight loss pattern will resemble stairs and not a straight line. You'll have periods of weight loss, followed by a couple/few weeks of stalling and slight regain. This is just your body recalibrating itself after a large loss to ensure its safe to continue letting go of fat reserves, because it mistakenly thinks you're in a survival event and doesn't want you to starve to death. Just remember this is part of the process, and its not a failure. This really got me down initially and compounded that regret feeling, but after a long stall I'm making progress again. Also, Cipro is very likely the culprit in making you feel sick. it's a very strong antibiotic, and good at its job, but the side effects can be harsh. I've developed some partial hearing loss because of it after years of taking it for recurring Diverticulitis. Ask your doctor if there is another antibiotic that can do the job, but with fewer side effects. Good luck, and I wish you luck on your journey!

I'm glad to see so many talking about what they do and don't like and why. That was more the purpose of my posts. Maybe it came off a bit harsh to some, but that wasn't my intent. For example, I tend to get a little testy when I see posts from people who had and sabotaged their surgeries, but I try to remember that it's not my post, not my journey, and my feelings about their post are mine and not theirs. I can't get mad at them because of how I feel about what they posted. No, I'm not saying anyone on this thread is sabotaging their surgery, it's just an example of what annoys me in posts, and how I just skip them instead of posting about how it upset me that they did this or said that. I'm sad my post made some feel a certain type of way, but I can't help but wonder why they felt that way. Did my post strike a nerve? If so, why? I wasn't judging anyone. I never have and never will. My simple curiosity about how one starts liking, or even getting past the taste and smell of, alcohol wasn't meant as a trigger or to upset. But the defensiveness of some about it makes me wonder if those who took what I said as an attack maybe feel some type of way about what, and how much, they drink and projected it onto me... Either way, we should be able to ask questions here, have open discussions, and not get lost in our feelings about it. People ask hard stuff. If it makes you feel a certain way, maybe skip the post. I don't know. This is the first time I've ever felt like this on this forum. I have to take a step back now and rethink my presence here. Sorry if I triggered and upset you guys, but maybe you should look inward and figure out why my questions bothered you so much....

I was searching the Bariatri Pal Store and found my favorite Quest Protein Bars. They have various. sugar alcohol amounts. Is it ok to eat one of them with 5 sugar alcohol?

So I'm home! I'm 72.5kg (159lbs) this morning so I've made it halfway to my goal like a true @NickelChip twin. I'm home until Thursday when I fly off again but It's going to be a hectic few days ( and I don't even want to think of all the laundry I have to do!). Thats means that in the last ten days since I was home I lost 1.7kg or 3.74lbs which is less bad than I thought. @NickelChip The travelling is hard, I'm usually in hotels with client meetings and lunch and dinners most evenings - I tend to tell them I'm intermittent fasting so manage to skip one meal. I'm not against eating in my room in the evening but do prefer to be out because I just hate the amount of time I spend shut in hotel rooms and prefer to profit from the ambiance of wherever I'm staying. It's just such a massive change for me because I've always been a social butterfly out and about where ever I go ... I went to an international school ( well multiple international schools - I was an "Expat Brat / Third culture Kid") growing up so tend to have acquaintance to visit most places too, or have a random packet to give someones cousin/friend/old neighbor and food and alcohol have always played in a big part in that for me. Eating alone inside isn't really my thing. I've actually got an airbnb for Athens because it's a longer stay so should be able to cook in the kitchen there, and I reckon there will be better salads, but it's a good idea to keep a tub of hummus and crudités in the fridge, I'm not a great fan of yogurt berry combos, but might try... I have perfected my smile and head tilt for when people I meet say "oh my god thats so lucky you get to travel so much" 🙂 @gracesmommy2 I'm not a fan of chips but could go for edamame! I come from a family of tall thin women with massive boobs - I'm the shortest ( and fattest) by quite a bit, I'm 5 ft 6 and my sisters, aunts etc are between 5ft8 and 6ft and probably have BMI's round 20.... So even when I was skinny I've always had massive boobs, I was a already a double F at 14 when I was 110lbs. When I was up at 200lbs and over they got to ridiculous proportions and I'd have deep dents on my shoulders from my bra straps digging in the whole time. I'm happy they're getting a bit smaller but hope I don't loose too much and that they don't head too far south .. but if they do ..that's what good bras are for. That said I am lucky because they've never caused back pain! Do take pictures if you feel up to it - they are good to look back at to see progress, you too @LisaCaryl ... I'm sure one day you'll like to look back at them! @Briss72 @Noelle74 @Eighmmie How are you getting on?

So I am 5 years and 2 months post-op RYGB. I made it beyond my goal weight of 170lb to 160lb. Technically I was as low as 145lbs because I was very sick in 2020 then again in 2022, but after getting better, I stabilized at a steady 160lb. Last July I started online streaming/socializing with people. I started snacking more because of nerves and also began drinking quite heavily because being silly tipsy in front of strangers is fun! I had NO IDEA how many calories was in alcohol. Over the course of 5 months, I gained 20lbs. Even more, I noticed that I can eat almost a "normal" plate of food the same size as my family's. I broke the rules and had started drinking fluids with my meals. I think I thought I could get away with breaking rules because I was at a stable 160lbs. Now I am FREAKING out! I hate exercise. I never did it, even with my prior weightloss. I am using a tracking app my husband's VA dietician told him to use called Fat Secret. I am trying to stick to 1600 calories, which is super hard. I feel hungry all the time now. I think I caused pouch dilation. I refuse to be heavy again. My clothes are already getting tighter than I like. I was doing research today on weight gain after years post-op. I basically am reading that I need a bariatric reset. I am going to do a 2-week "Pouch Reset Diet." It's not to make my pouch smaller, but it's to retrain my body to feel full with smaller portions again. I need to go back to the basics, and it's really hard. I also don't get DS with sweets like I used to. Don't get me wrong, I still get sick, but I noticed that my sugar tolerances have changed. It really worries me. 40% of bypass patients fail and bounce back to within 10% of their original weight pre-surgery. I will NOT be a part of that 40%. My support system at home is tricky. On one hand, my husband does support me outwardly. But he himself weighs 415lbs and isn't doing much about his weight. He watched my struggles and drustrations and outright refuses surgery for himself. He's on some stupid intermitent fasting diet, but he still eats way too large portions at meal times. My 15 y/o son is pushing 285lbs, and his only exercise is video games. For me, it's like living around all these food temptations is a struggle. It's like being an alcoholic and living at a bar. I just ordered a crap ton of protein powder so I can jump start this Pouch Reset Diet. I started to push myself on working out at least a little bit. I have a mini stair stepper and an eleptical bike. Anything is better than nothing. I am just wondering if I am alone in my struggles?

ok, gonna throw my story on the table...take from it as you will, as a lesson to live by, a cautionary tale, or a personal justification...you choose. pre surgery i was also a weekend warrior, actually, more like a yearly quarterly warrior, lol. i had like a couple drinks every 2-3 months. probably got stupid drunk once a year or less. during weight loss phase (which lasted 7 months) i had maybe 5 partial drinks. i don't think i finished any of those drinks. my first "drink" was 3 weeks post op. I had maybe 2-3 sips of a glass of red wine. it was really weird, i swear i could feel the burning of the alcohol pass down my esophagus, through my stomach and along my intestines. my second drink was about 1 month later (christmas) and it was a very sugary soju-sake drink. again i had maybe 2-3 sips but this one resulted in my second worst dumping experience ever. *shudder*. the next 3 or so drinks were vodka or gin sodas (learned my lesson! less sugar!) ok. now its 2019, im in maintenance and i'm looking hawt and feeling awesome and me and mr. go on a couple vacations and i drink way more than i normally do. but its vacation, right? so its ok. i also took up smoking again after being smoke free for 10 years (but thats another story). now its 2020 and its effing covid, and i, like many others i know started drinking at home (i never did this before, i was always a go-out drinker) ...and now its 2024 and i drink every day. i don't get stupid drunk every day or anything (not that i'm trying to justify anything - i fondly call myself a high-functioning alcoholic), but i do drink every day. its at a point where others (i.e., my doctors and my hubs) are chastising me with the amount i drink. i know i drink too much and its probably doing a number on my health despite nothing showing up on any of my labs or whatever. i quit drinking for a month last year because my son said i couldn't stop drinking for a week. so i know i can stop (or at least slow down) if i really wanted to. trouble is i don't seem to really want to. last year, my OBGYN said i really should stop smoking AND drastically cut down the amount i drink. i told her i'm not sure i could do both, so i made her a deal and said i would stop smoking. i'm proud to say i have been smoke free for 9 months (after smoking for 4 years after quitting for 10, after smoking for 20...say that ten times fast, lol). its been surprisingly easy, but i think its because i can still drink. ANYWAY. i'm hoping to get into a mindset soon to address my drinking problem. i don't doubt my ability to reduce, but i'm not sure i will actually WANT to anytime soon. le sigh. so there you have it. i am the poster child of transfer addiction. despite all this, my weight has more or less remained unchanged (go figure). i continue to stay below goal weight this entire time. ....and i am literally typing this post out with an espresso martini in hand. dont judge me! lol. i am relatively chill about all this so even if you do judge me, i wont take it personally. p.s. oh, i should also mention that i get "affected" real quick and on very small amounts. and i also sober up real quick. this phenomenon is a purely post surgery thing. i needed lots more to get drunk before surgery....although my smaller size now may also be a factor....

1. What was the best part of surgery for you? The best part is also the hardest to explain. The best way I can put it is that pre-surgery, I had a demon in my stomach. This demon demanded rich foods and thought that if one of something tasted good, then four of something would taste amazing (this made the demon a liar, but I had to obey these lies). The surgery removed the demon. I no longer feel controlled by cravings. 2. What was the worst part of surgery for you? The 48 hours prior to the surgery were miserable. I could only have water, Gatorades and black coffee. Then I had to take strong laxatives prior to the surgery, so I was defecating so much that my body was expelling food I hadn't even eaten yet. And I couldn't go to sleep because any flatulence had the potential to be ... explosive. So it's 1 am, I am starving, dehydrated, sitting on the john and I need to be at the hospital at 5:30. 3. Did you have any complications (minor or major) during or after your surgery? Nothing major. I greatly underestimated how sore my stomach would be and how long it would take for the soreness to go away. I am a stomach sleeper and it was three months before I felt comfortable sleeping on my stomach. 4. How has adjusting to your new life been for you? I love the new life. I am able to exercise (bike, jog, lift weights) like I never have, I have great energy. I can shop at pretty much any clothing store. It has allowed me to become a better version of myself. 5. How long did it take you to feel comfortable eating food? It was probably 8 months to a year before I felt like I could try any food and not have to worry about my stomach having trouble. 6. Is there anything you can’t eat anymore that you used to enjoy? Can't eat, as in, I physically cannot handle it? Nothing. But there are plenty of things that I used to love that I am uninterested in. Like I have no desire to eat a donut. Just seems like pure sugar to me. 7. What was your recovery like? Any vomiting or dumping syndrome? I did not have dumping syndrome (although some sugar alcohols hit my stomach hard). I did have some vomiting, but it was either due to eating too fast or eating a food that my stomach wasn't ready to handle yet (I had some stewed beef at like the 90 day mark and I wasn't as ready for it as I thought I was. 8. How long did it take you to feel semi-normal after surgery? I would say 90-120 days before I felt physically normal (could sleep on my stomach, could handle most foods) 9. Did you experience higher energy level post surgery? In the immediate aftermath of the surgery, no. This was my first (and so far, only) major surgery and I really underestimated how much it would sap my energy. I was walking gingerly for a while. But once I fully recovered, I have had way more energy. 10. Did surgery affect your mental health? Yes, in mostly good ways. The pre-surgery success-failure cycle of yo-yo dieting impacted my psyche way more than I realized. So this state of long-term success helped greatly (and success, both great and small, is an excellent anti-depressant). Will it cure your depression? Absolutely not. To the extent that you think your problems in life are caused by your size ("I'm single because I'm overweight" or "My weight is why they won't give the promotion" or "my weight is why my mother is passive-aggressive toward me"), the surgery will not make those problems go away. I'm very lucky and very blessed to live an amazing life and the weight-loss has only further revealed what an amazing and blessed life I have. 11. Do you regret it? Would you recommend it? I do not regret it. I make it a personal policy not to outright recommend it to anyone because everyone has their own journey. For many years, I saw bariatric surgery as a last resort, a kind of "pull in case of emergency" lever. I realized that I was 40+ yrs old with a wife and children and no diet had ever worked for me and I was only fooling myself if I thought the next one would do the trick. I had to either pull the lever or make peace with being morbidly obese for the rest of my life. I pulled the lever and I would pull it again without hesitation.

I don’t really understand drinking to excess either. I don’t really understand why people take drugs or smoke either. Logically I realise for some, just like many on this forum did with food, it’s to comfort & soothe. To forget or avoid, at least for a while, the challenges & issues in their lives. Yes, I drank & still drink after surgery. I don’t enjoy it as much but I was never a big drinker as such - never large amounts. No I’ve never been drunk & only to the edge of tipsy. Personally, I don’t like the potential of losing control of what I’m doing or the situations I’m in (control freak). Also if I did drink more than a couple of glasses, I’d end up with the most hideous hiccups & that would be the end of my night anyway. We’re not a family of big drinkers either so that’s likely an influence too. I do find enjoyment in the flavours of alcohol much like the flavours & ingredients in an interesting recipe/meal. Can’t stand sweet wines or adding sweet mixers (except tonic & soda water in Gin 😉) to spirits but that’s the personal taste aspect. Much like I don’t understand people who say they love coffee but add syrups, cream & sweeteners to drink it. I’m more of a purist that way. I get the drinking, smoking, using & eating to fit in or feel more confident in a situation. I briefly smoked cigars. It was the 90s & I admit I did it to fit in & for attention. I was changing some of my friendship circle & wanted to be accepted. I look back & shake my head but during that time I came to realise a lot about myself & my needs. Like I didn’t need or want to smoke & if those people I was trying to impress didn’t like me for me I didn’t need or want them. Thankfully I only smoked a handful of times over a bout a year. Have no desire to do it again. And came out of the whole experience a stronger person. I’m not going to judge if someone drinks, smokes or uses. (Or mixes cola with scotch or lemonade with vodka.) They’re adults & it’s their choice. I’ll worry about them for sure & ensure they’re safe & not harming themselves or others. I might have just added more fuel to the discussion. Sorry @jparadigm, your original post has been hijacked.