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FIRST FILL 9-20-06 Today has just been the best day. I got 5 new books in the mail from Amazon, I got a fill of 5 c.c. and I got a job that pays a multiple of $5 an hour. My life just doesn't get any better than this. Isn't that kinda sad? Whatever. Let's talk about my fill, shall we? First off, nothing but water from midnight. My doc (who I actually met. It was about time!) did the fill with fluoroscopy. Basically it is a type of xray. (or at least that's what I say, someone who knows what they're talking about might say something else.) I laid down on the table and they positioned a big hunk of machinery over me. The fluoro camera I presume. Then I looked at this little TV screen and there was my port. It was so cute! (o.k. I'm a little weird, sorry.) The nurse swabbed around my port site with alcohol. Then the doc said he was going to inject something to numb the site and he said it might hurt a little. LIAR! It didn't hurt at all. I barely felt it, I've been hurt worse giving blood. Heck, I've been hurt worse stubbing my toe. Then he started feeling for my port. Which also was cool, because I could see his finger bones on the fluoro screen. When he injected the saline, I started laughing. I swear it tickled! The doc probably thought I was off my rocker but that's ok. Let's just hope that my ticker now resumes its journey to the right.

We have all tested our bands from time to time and they do let us know what they will and will not tolerate. I have had two experiences with alcohol since banded a year ago and neither have ended well. I have no tolerance, if I drink I can't eat or I end up eating something while drinking that is not good for me. Now days I have an occassional glass of wine. I hate party's also, especially when people insist no there will be lots of things you can eat. New rule for me, eat before I go to a party, carry a protein bar. You may have gained the pounds from the dehydration from alcohol and should drop them quickly.

Last night was my first real social situation since I had my surgery. We're a military family, and since we're away from our familes, our little group of friends become our family. Last night we went to hang out with our usual group of friends. This lady is an entertainer. She has the best food in the whole world. And she's such a hostess. For "snacks" she had chips and dip, fruit and dip, hot wings, pizza (yes, as a snack). And the alcohol flows freely, including my favorite beverage...chiltons...(vodka, lemon, soda water). Not to mention the dinner that she cooked (bbq chicken, macaroni salad, hotdogs for the kids, rice). Now, to the abundance of infantry guys hanging around, they can eat all of that crap and it be NO problem. After all, almost none of them have a weight problem and they all run like 8 miles everyday. However, to Miss Lapband over here...it was just temptation sitting right in front of me. lol I did good though. I didn't snack. I drank a ton of water. I ate a healthy piece of baked chicken. And I woke up this morning on weigh-in day and was down 3 pounds from last week! Yes! But thinking about my weight loss journey so far has made me realize how bad my eating habits were before. Before, I wouldn't have hesitated to eat those yummy doritos with ranch dip, and her macaroni salad is to die for! And I would had 2-3 chiltons, plus maybe a vodka and cranberry juice. I would have snacked on the pizza and had 2 pieces of chicken. I see it at home too. I stand up and go to the kitchen and look in the pantry and look for something to eat. I end up not eating anything because I know it's just habit and not because I'm really hungry. I eat 3 meals daily (small portions) and a snack. And that's plenty! To date I've lost 25 pounds. I got off track when I went back to eating solid food and gained about 2 pounds back, but now I'm headed in the right direction. Right toward goal.

Everyone have a Happy Thanksgiving. I am thankful for this community you and I are part of. I avoid food-holidays like a recovering alcoholic avoids Octoberfest so today on Thanksgiving I'll be hiking in the forest with loved ones who share and support my vision for wellness. After the hike we will grill a wild salmon and vegetables outdoors. I'll give great thanks for an active, healthy life, pain-free at goal-weight after years being opiate-addicted for chronic back and knee pain with morbid obesity. Who needs a Big Meal? Not me! Life IS my Big Meal! As you sit down to whatever Big Meal awaits you today give some thought to this question.... What is the metaphorical Big Meal in your life? What grand table are you being invited and challenged to join by your Weight Loss Surgery journey? Maybe it is to live a longer, healthier life to enjoy friends and family. Maybe it is to inspire others who suffer morbid obesity to believe they can be healthy again or to teach your kids to have a healthier relationship with food from the beginning of their lives. Whatever your Big Meal is, consider if the meal you will sit down to later today moves you closer to that vision or further away. Whether you choose to eat carefully or splurge later today do it mindfully, consciously and with compassion for yourself. HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

Tuesday, July 14, 2009 Everything I've Been Through I scheduled my first fill for August 11. I'm noticing hunger between meals the past few days. I'm also finding that I could keep eating when I'm done with my food, more food than I was able to choke down until the past week. So I went ahead and scheduled my fill. They'll only put in a little. See how I do. Put in a little more. See how I do, until I hit what people call "the sweet spot." At which point, as far as I can figure, things become easier. As long as I follow the basic food plan and the protocol for when to drink fluids, which I described in an earlier blog, hunger and the desire to eat both diminish greatly. Not everyone reaches that point. You can still eat around the band by drinking with your meals, you can eat things like ice cream which slide past the band, you can consistently make less than healthy food choices. Your results won't be as good. Weight loss surgery, no matter what kind, is just a tool. I have to keep doing the footwork. I'm finding a lot of support on-line on the Lap Band Surgery and Lap Band Discussion Forum. I'm hoping to find a non-shaming support group to help me deal with my food issues and gently hold me accountable. I plan to continue writing in this blog as various issues come up. Just the discipline of writing every night helps hold me accountable. I feel amazingly empty of feelings and thoughts tonight. I think I drained myself (temporarily)talking about shame and guilt, ADHD, and, especially, yesterday's post on codependency. That was a difficult post to write. I learned a lot about codependency and addiction in my years attending a 12-step program for people who have been impacted by someone else's addiction. Addiction is a family disease and not just the addict or alcoholic's problem. Food helped me cope, it helped me survive, but it, too, becomes an addiction. It's an unhealthy relationship that stabs you in the back. Codependency has to be dealt with in order to recover from food addiction. There's a song going through my head. We've been singing it in church fairly frequently. Lord I offer my life to you, Everything I've been through, Use it for your glory. Lord I offer my days to you, lifting my praise to you, As a pleasing sacrifice Lord I offer you my life. Amen.

I'm 7 out. I'll occasionally have a soda, but mostly lost my taste for it and it takes me all day to drink one. Plus, the sugar. Soda is a slippery slope to regain for people that are addicted, in my opinion. But carbonated water? Oh yeah. I'm on it. I alternate that and still water all day long. An occasional beer or cider, yep. I was never told no carbonation. Obviously it's not good for a healing sleeve, but the gas in a sip of a carbonated drink cannot physically stretch your sleeve. So really, we need to be mindful of what we're drinking calorie-wise and account for it. Empty calories add up quickly, be they juice, tea, alcohol, whatever. Cheri

11 months out and I don't touch alcohol or soda because the fear of heartburn and reflux. Lemons and limes give me reflux as well so stay away from them as well. I was never told not to have soda but definitely told not to have alcohol in the first year.

I know this is an old topic but I'm going through the same thing right now. I've lost 92 pounds, broke up with my boyfriend (who was my ex-husband) and now I'm addicted to the online sites and meeting new people and having sex. I'm not really using many drugs or alcohol but I do smoke weed probably twice a week and have a few drinks twice a week. Once I'm the slightest bit buzzed (which doesn't take a lot now), I have no inhibitions and it's scary. I've put myself in a few dangerous situations. I did go see a therapist last week and told her everything. Just wanted to talk to others who have experienced this. Never in a million years didn't I think this would happen to me.

After a good 10 years dealing with life and alcoholism I finally gave it up and once my mind was clear of alcohol I noticed geez I'm in my 30s and over 300lbs.. I don't want to still be fat and unhealthy at 40.. I need to make a change and I found surgery will help me greatly in getting my life back on track...

We dont say alcoholics are taking the easy way out when they enter rehab, we commend them for it because quitting anything cold turkey is next to impossible when you are truly addicted. To me, WLS isnt any different. And although I havent been sleeved just yet, from all the posts I've read on VST, it's still a big struggle. You have 80% of your stomach removed, but the sad news is that our "fat brains" dont go out into the medical waste container along with it. We have to retrain and recondition ourselves on how to eat. We cant just pick any old piece of food up and eat it, we have to make conscious decisions which is certainly a battle when you're addicted to food. So although the weight loss stories sound phenomenal and seeing the before and after pics are mind blowing, dont ever think that making this major change to better yourself, your health and your quality of life "the easy way out". I wish you all the best and much success on your journey. I enjoyed this post, hope to read more from you soon!

lml, My objection to her is that it appears she's fixated on depression. she told me that I am severely depressed and have been for years...oh, and that I'm in big danger of becoming an alcoholic after surgery. Um, nope. Wrong on both counts.

As far as I know, other than a full blood count and liver function tests.. there's no way in knowing if you have a fatty liver.. it's really about your diet. If you know you eat a lot of fatty foods and drink a lot of alcohol then it's very likely you have a fatty liver. The pre op diet is just to eliminate the chance of it as it makes the surgery more difficult if you have a fatty, brittle or enlarged liver. When I had my surgery, my surgeon told me my liver wasn't fatty but enlarged which made it difficult to move out of the way to get to my stomach he actually nicked it because it was that big. My surgeon didn't mind if I did the pre op or not as he's very experienced but I definitely cut down on the bad food and stuck to salad and shakes 2 weeks before the operation, the last thing you want is to be woken up from being out only to be told they couldn't do the surgery.

Hi! My name's Ginger and I'm from Edinburg, TX! I've lost 30 pounds and hope to lose another 100 or so. My starting weight was 285 before the diet the PCP put me on and I lost the other 30 after surgery. Twenty lbs came off the first week and then during the next month I lost another ten. I'm getting my first fill sometime in the near future and look forward to getting back on the weight loss track. I have some difficulties with the diet though such as not being able to eat and drink seperately all the time. Plus, I haven't been able to quit drinking alcohol when I meet up with friends. I suppose this could be another reason I haven't lost more? Feel free to give me any and all advice you have about living as a bandster!:sad:

One thing that I have not seen mentioned is alcohol. When I revealed how much I drank, the social worker made me go to AA. I even had to get a form filled out (like when people get DUIs and have to present a form to the courts). I knew I would have to quit for the surgery and at least a year after. I was very pissed that the social worker was forcing me into AA. But now that I have gone for a little over 3 months, I'm glad she did it. I don't think I could have quit by myself after all. This of course delayed my surgery a few weeks, but I'm grateful to be sober too and can't wait for my surgery!

Well I've been working out 6 to 7 days a week trying to build muscle. When I joined the new Gym, I also hired a personal trainer who I meet with usually 6 days a week, 1 hour a day. I also try to squeeze in 1 hour in addition to weight training. He has told me I'm not eating enough and I need to be eating around 3500 calories a day. My goal isn't just weight loss anymore, its getting muscle. I want a six pack and dang its taking a while to get there. Some days I have trouble getting in full meals. I also have bolthouse shakes to drink as they contain Protein and also have other stuff as well as a high calorie count. I'm extremely active. The last three days have been thrown off due to the vacation. We got to the airport at 4am, arrived in Florida at 2pm, up the next morning at six and today is our first normal day... so I'm going to try to get up at my usual 5am and hit the gym on the ship tomorrow. I'm just hoping I'm not getting used to eat too much. I guess its time to do the 5 day pouch reset when I get home. I will say that this is the first time I've really consumed alcohol since the surgery. I figured heck if I'm going to spend $62.00 a day for it, I'm going to try to get my money's worth lol. For the first time in my life, I'm able to go to the beach and I'm not ashamed... I'm not fat anymore and I have so much energy. I just don't want to get off track. I have found that it is hard to find healthy foods on the cruise ship. I'm terrified of getting norovirus... it would probably kill me lol.

Just wondering why you are starting the liquid diet if you don't have a surgery date yet. Until you get a date, you can still prepare by eliminating foods you cannot/should not have after surgery, such as sugar, refined carbs, soda, caffeine, and alcohol. Cleaning up the general diet even before the official pre-op diet is very helpful so you don't go through withdrawal while dealing with the hard parts of liquid diet and recovery.

I am not a beer drinker, but I drink soda. The carbonation is not going to stretch out your sleeve. There is zero scientific evidence to show that soda stretches anything. I drink mixed drinks mostly (not in pregnancy), but when I go out it's either wine or rum/cokes. I waited until I was at goal to indulge in alcohol mainly for 2 reasons; 1) Empty Calories that weren't worth drinking 2) In the rapid weight loss phase, our livers are working overtime, I didn't think it was worth it to throw alcohol in my body for my liver to process on top of everything else.

Yes they have Margarita n mojito mix taste great!!! Makes it a lot easier to get the liquids in. Make as directed just put it in the blender with lots of ice n that's it. To the mojito I add half a lemon n crushed mint leaves so it taste just like a mojito without the alcohol. [ATTACH]2797[/ATTACH]

I'm trying to figure out where I come down on the "body positivity" movement and the "health at every size" philosophy in relation to WLS. It's caused me to really think deeply about this, and I thought I'd throw my thoughts out and see how others view it. For starters, I absolutely believe that people of all shapes and sizes deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. People should not be bullied for their shape or size. Physicians should not give different treatment plans for larger people than they do for thin people. The answer to strep throat is not "lose weight". I believe businesses should better accommodate people of all sizes with larger and more sturdy seating as well as better access for people who have mobility issues due to any cause. Airlines in particular. "Normal" people don't fit in those darned seats, for Pete's sake. I believe that people of all shapes and sizes should have access to good quality clothing at a reasonable price. I also believe the diet industry is bogus. The medical field should start telling the truth about the success rates both short term and long term of the "diet and exercise" prescriptions. If the success rates for diet and exercise were given for a drug, it would be banned by the FDA for sale. We need to learn a LOT more about what drives obesity and quit experimenting without full disclosure on people who are obese, especially children. We need to learn more about the damage done to our bodies by dieting, which is likely to be worse than if we just stayed heavy and never dieted. What we do know is that weight is a complex issue that individuals have very little control over. It needs to stop being viewed as a moral issue, with heavier people seen as moral failures. All of these things, I am in agreement with the HAES/body positivity movement. Then we get into the "health" discussion, and my stance starts diverging from theirs. HAES claims that there is no direct causation between body fat and ill health and that the path to better health should not involve any level of focus on weight. Well, not really. While there are some people who carry a lot of body fat and have no significant health concerns, there are also people who drink excessive amounts of alcohol and smoke daily who have no significant health concerns. No one would say that there is no causal relationship between alcohol and liver problems, or between cigarettes and lung issues just because not everyone who partakes is ill. The science is clear that excessive weight significantly increases the risk in a number of health areas. The body will compensate until it can't anymore, and then a cascade of health issues descends. I believe that to state otherwise is deceitful and damaging. And if your weight directly keeps you from being able to take care of yourself and move around, then there's no way you're "healthy", medically speaking. That is not to say that healthcare should be denied to larger people. We still treat lung cancer, even if the patient smoked for 40 years and "brought it on themselves". But we also encourage intervention for the addiction and prescribe cessation programs. We don't have a lot of good options to offer people who struggle with weight issues, and we need to be more up-front about how well they work, but we shouldn't quit trying. HAES/Body Positivity has and excellent observation about the health issues - it's no one's business. Unless I'm on your medical treatment team, it's not my business how much you weigh, and it's not my place to say you should lose weight. It's not my business what you do or don't eat. If I am on your treatment team, I should treat you with the utmost respect and not ignore symptoms and issues because you're larger. The whole argument about "my taxes pay for this treatment and y'all bring it on yourselves" is bogus. My taxes pay for sports injuries (caused by patient choice), car accidents (sometimes caused by patient choice), tobacco complications (caused by patient choice), and drug overdoses (caused by patient choice) and we don't see a large call for those people to go without treatment. Even if we were to start drawing lines, where exactly would they get drawn? HAES also pushes for healthy lifestyle choices, just without a focus on weight. I'm down with that. People of every size can take steps to improve their health: make healthier food choices, exercise, reduce stress, get regular medical care. Some of these will even have more impact than the actual weight loss. Many of these will result in weight loss. People should not be discouraged from doing these things until after they lose weight. I can even (medically) support an attitude of, "I'm going to work on these other things, and I don't care about the scale while I do." (And once again, if I'm not on your medical team, it's none of my business.) HAES has the right idea about much of this. And then I diverge again from HAES and the like when they say that being on Weight Watchers or having WLS or in any way deliberately focusing on modifying your size is AGAINST the body positivity movement. Everyone has different reasons for choosing these things, and not all of them have to do with hating your larger body. I loved myself at my highest weight and was generally okay with my body. I never looked in the mirror and hated myself. I have features I'm not crazy about, but it's at worst neutral, never a self-hatred. I didn't have VSG because I wanted to fit in a size 10 jean again (if I get there or even close it'll be a welcome side effect in my book). My decision was not swayed in the slightest by social pressures. I had VSG because I have physical health issues that are directly impacted by my weight and are reducing my mobility and taking my activity level down to practically nothing. I was lacking a quality of life and wanted to improve the things in my life that HAES talks about. Because of those health issues, I didn't feel like I had time to do it "the long way". I don't advocate WLS for everyone, and unless you ask me directly I'm not going to say whether or not I think it would be a good idea for you. But I'm not "body positive" because I "amputated a healthy organ" in order to change my size. Like so many things in our current society, the opposing sides would have you think that it's a binary situation - on or off, good or bad, this or that. I have never embraced a black and white binary way of thinking and am not about to start now. I want to support the HAES movement, but it seems like I'm not welcome and some of the concepts they propose as near-gospel I find to be scientifically questionable. Maybe I'm trying to justify my position against what I want to believe and it just doesn't fit, I don't know. What do you think?

My doctor says NO ALCOHOL for a year! Call your doctor for some meds.

You are the sweetest person - you and your princess are lucky to have found each other! I did love him when we got married - but really I married the him that he constructed, as he is a compulsive liar. I made my bed and I'm lying in it - no one made me marry him or stay with him. Circumstances got in the way (I was just here to visit, 9/11 happened, my flight home was grounded, and I just stayed and we had to get married quickly before my visa expired. Had I had more months to know him better, I wouldn't have stayed). I am a really strong person. I get it from my mum who had to go through hell with my alcoholic dad (which is why I said I couldn't be with someone who drank, and my husband said he was teetotal... and he didnt drink until after we were married. He can stop for months before binges). I will always win in the end - I'm patient and I can wait. He will never get the better of me. I have gained a lot through the path I chose - my amazing daughters, my breast reduction (I would have needed to wait for years to get it on the National Health Service back home), my design business, true friends, self-awareness, even this surgery. I'll be in my mid-40s when I return home for good - and if I meet someone I will be ready, and I will know what I want and need and not settle. I can wait. My daughters will be 16 and 17 then - I wouldn't want to enter into a new relationship with young daughters anyway. Not these days. In the end I'll thank him for the experience he gave me, and let him go - I am a stronger wiser person than I would otherwise have been. We are friends, co-parents, family even. But there is just no attraction for me any more, and too many bad memories of trying to bring up toddlers while he was passed out on the bathroom floor for me to rekindle a deeper relationship beyond attraction. The age difference becomes more apparent with each passing year too - he is 67 and I am 42 - and we have less and less in common. He loves me, at least he thinks he does - as much as a narcissist is capable of loving anyone. And he thinks we have a good marriage. Perhaps we do in this day and age. Honestly, I do hope he just passes peacefully at some point in the next 5 years so that my daughters and I can move on. I don't want to hurt him or wish him any ill. He's not a bad person - he is just not a very good husband (there was a reason why he had never been married at 50), and he's not my prince. So many hugs to you! I hope your recovery is going well and that your princess is taking care of you and cherishing you!

So do I. And I have one when I feel like it. obviously alcohol is empty calories to a degree and detrimental to strict dieting. But moderate wine consumption is actually GOOD for your health.

Love the occasional glass of wine! I have been reading all the post and have yet to find if there are any alcoholic restrictions. I am sure Beer and mixed drinks with sodas are not recomended because of the carbonation. Just curious as to what the "Norm" is for bandsters when it comes to social drinking.

some people become lactose intolerant - at least temporarily (although sometimes permanently) after WLS, and some people can't tolerate sugar alcohols (the artificial sweeteners they put in a lot of those things). SO maybe one of those??

Nice of you to join us! Great Idea! I am an alcoholic, also with a family history of alcoholism, deceased d/t cirrosis etc. more family members than I have time to name. I have small children and what has driven me to AA is my oldest child who started to realize what was going on. Was your mom recovered when you were growing up? will you share your experience as a child of an alcoholic parent? I am curious to know the view of a child. I don;t talk to my son about my going to AA mainly because I have only been sober now for a couple of weeks and have been trying to get sober for 3 years, I don;t want him to see me fail so I don;t talk to him about it. I think it would be to grown up of a responsibility for him at this age to worry about me. Can you help me to know what he is seeing from the eyes of an 8 year old. Thanks