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I've been on phentermin (sp) a few times and it works pretty good unless I need to get more than 4 hours or so of sleep. This was ok for a month or so at a time and then I would get cranky... not focus at work or home.... feel disjointed. These are major symptoms of sleep depravation. I would go off them for a week or so and start again. Most people build up an immune to them after a few months hense the weight gain and then some. It is partialy a stimulant to the body...heart! I would ask the surgeon before taking it!

The thing that led to me cinsiddering weight loss surgery was my last failed diet and weight gain that followed. At 346 lbs I was feeling doomed. After all my research this is what most strongly made me say "the band is for me!" 1. My Dr explained that there are different body types-- mine is the type that holds fat reserves and craves the kinds of foods that tend to put it on. My ancestors were the type that probably did hard labor, had lean winters or long boat trips and needed food stores to survive. Thusly there are high metabolism people with ancestors that wouldn't have survived those things. 2. I belong to a very large, supportive weight loss group that has many people who have successfully lost 100 lbs or more with dieting/life style change. They FIGHT the good fight against food every day. It can be done, BUT I'm so tired of FIGHTING so dang hard. I need some help. That's what the band is for me H-E-L-P. I want to hurry up and get with living!

It seems as though there are so many different protocols for pre and post diets with the lap band...would everyone like to type out your pre and post dietary requirements? ME: no weight gain from initial consult until surgery allowed...may cancel surgery if you gain weight. Clear liquid diet for the day before your surgery. Then 48 hours of clear liquids followed by 2 weeks of full liquids (yogurt, cottage cheese, cream soups made with skim plus, pudding). After the two weeks you get on to the mushie stage, but my dr. told my husband to just skip the mushie stage and move onto regular food. I don't know if he does that with all of his patients. Anyone else want to share? Rain

It is nice to see so many teachers on this sight. You suppose a lot of our weight gain is the staff room and STRESS? I will be looping with my last year's class. They will be sixth graders and I am excited to show off the new me on the first day. Our school has set up one of our school improvement goals as staff wellness. I feel I am really steppin' up to the plate and will be asking students to participate in a wellness program with me. I think we may take a walk for 15 mins. just to jumpstart our day. I may not get to do all the time, but it really helps those Monday sleepers. I have been thinking with all the obesity issues in children, maybe it is time I model better eating and exercising habits. Hope I am up for the task.

dmtjet, lynette-- thanks for the support about the weight gain--I had not heard that about the gas, etc. Laurend--when I have something a little more positive to report, I'll give you my stats, how's that? Heat--for all of you who say it is too hot to exercise outside--I hear ya! I basically live in the desert and the exercising outside thing is not practical. We're moving back to a saner climate at the end of September, but I'm really going to have to start making myself do something here at home-- DVDs or something--until then. ABOUT ME My name is Nicole. I'm 36, I have three boys; 17 yrs., 6 yrs., & 20 mos. I homeschool my 6 year old, but I did not do that w/my oldest. The oldest is actually going to college in Hawaii right now. I have a Masters and a credential, but I just left my job as a teacher to stay home full time!!! Yeah!!! I've been overweight basically my whole life, but it got really bad between middle & high school. We have a bulldog puppy named Obi Wan right now (can you tell the 6 yr. old named him?) and potty training him right after surgery has been a lot of work, but he is just about the cutest thing ever next to a human baby!!

Actually he did get into trouble hawking with other told or asked him to sell. So he did get in big trouble. But then again--I benefited from the stopping Lipitor and another anti-depressant. My own Doctor asked me not to take it. He said==Lee you will soon have problems and within 18 months my kidneys were operating at 70 to 80%. It had been reported by Kevin that the drugs they sold were a lie. In November I stopped both medications. Now with 9 months passing by--my kidneyes are back to the a 98% rating. I've taken the tests and I've read them myself along with the Doctor. I do take Welbrutrin myself. I can't any longer take 300 miligrams. It keeps me up past 12. I mean--I even make it a point to take it at 6 am each day. I am going to down to 200 and if need be--to 150 mgs. Yes there are many things we see as a Lie--but many people such as us--have failed to see. Look at all of our Politicians who lie and avoid Jail all the time. Enron is a big example--too bad the big Man died of a heart attack. But what about the life savings and retirement saving many lost.Look at all of the people now on regular social secuity who should have been living on a nice 401 K fund? Come on--Kevins Books are just 15.95 at Sams club. He isn't stealing any Man;s 401 K fund of 200 to $400,000.If I was selling a product another persons company made--but it was fraudulent--of course I 'd be in jail. I recall the Coral Calcium and more. But aren't we living America--the land where people get 2 and 3 chances to do right?? The book has many things we can benefit from--so why not read it. Oh yes--he's ha one problem--so he should be taken out back and shot--right? So why is his books remaining number 1?--If they are so much a bunch of non-sense? Why are many of us banders getting smaller and smaller--since we've learned to not eat any ingredient we can't pronouce called--"Chemicals" or Bovine Growth Hormone? That is why I don't buy fish from super markets--I am better at taking a chance at the fish stores--some of the ones who get them from a boat. I have done that too many times. Many times traveling to far away places to buy the fish--so I will not get farm raised Growth Hormone injected type of food. We have a choice of what we can beleive and what we won't beleive.But a mere fact is--Look at the girls today--growing up and looking like she is 17 and she is a mere 11 years old. Getting her period at 8 and 9. That used to be a shameful thing to have a child with early pubety. Now it's the norm. Look at all of the little girls who's on the Posters as missing. Do you really think they are all kidnapped? Think again...I won't go into details--I'll let this and other things simmer a bit in your mind. Kevin Tradeau is living the American dream. Yes he's gotten now $50 dollars off of me for the books he's sold. I paid the $15.95 for each book. But--what if I add up all of the pills, the other books on hw to be skinny, how to lose 30 pounds in 30 days, how to look like I am 25 again with these simple pills or drink--I can think in the mere hundreds and maybe close to $1500 for me. I had to stop and look at my cabinent to know--what I had done for far too long like many of us. I'd rather think he is ok than many of the Doctors who's hawked pills that kill. Oh yes--the pain pill to give you comfort has killed sooo many. I have gotten phone calls to say--"Mr B____" Stop taking that pill--dump them out today". But had anyone offered me a refund?? Lipitor is one of the biggest frauds here in America. How many people can say they have a Cholestrol count that has gone from 280 to 180 or even down to an acceptable level of 150 within a year from that drug--I am afraid very very few...Read the stats and you will see. read about the Prozac and it's many problems--the side effects that I thought I had 20 of them--that wasn't mentioned on the label or the information packet the Pharmacy gave me. Come on now..I had headaches, swellon ankles, eating more like a pig, skin problems, feet swollen, vision blurry, bad taste in my mouth, no libido, and many more of the long list of "side Effects". I am not going to hawk the "Wellbutrin"--but at least we all know it's the zero weight gain type of medication...it does help

Keven T has been in prison for fraud and he's made it into something of a conspiracy where he is the victim. He is forever paying off fines and such for his complete and total dishonesty. But even with all the fines he still makes a bloody fortune conning people into buying his books. Check out the following: What Kevin Trudeau doesn't want you to know - Salon And: Kevin Trudeau There are some drugs that slow weight loss and two of yours are an example. The Wellbutrin is a very old drug. It has several uses. One is for depression and that is originally what the drug was for. It has so many side effects (inability to sleep, etc.) that it isn't a first choice for depression anymore. It is the same exact drug as Zyban, it is quite effecitive for those who want to stop smoking. It is also semi-effective for adult ADD/ADHD. I really think its claim to fame is the stop smoking issue. Even though Wellbutrin is a brand name it is essentially the generic of Zyban. As for weight loss and Wellbutrin, the older drugs of that class do tend to slow down weight loss in some people. Other drugs such as Prozac tend to encourage weight loss. With that said, when someone is depressed they often times don't eat well and lose weight. When they take something for depression and it works, they eat a little better and weight loss isn't an issue. Drugs in the same class as Prozac tend to increase weight loss (people just aren't hungry when they take it, however we fatties tend to have more head hunger issues and we eat if we are hungry or not). Yet other drugs in the same class as Prozac such as Luvox tend to make people want to eat more. I'm not sure why that is. Your hormone tablet... Female hormones tend to make us want to eat like a heifer. Consider this, there is a drug that is given to cancer patients when they reach the stage that they don't want to eat. This drug makes them hungry. When someone has cancer the body tends to try to deal with the cancer by not feeding the cancer cells, that is why end stage cancer patients don't want to eat. You can't even tube feed them without a great deal of discomfort. The problem is, the body doesn't feed the healthy cells either. So docs will often give a drug called Megace to make end stage cancer patients hungry. Megace is essentially a female hormone. If you want to look into hormones try something that is identical to what your body should be producing anyway. You can get them at ANY compounding pharmacy. They do require an Rx and your doc can write them for any strength he wants unlike standard hormones that only come in specific strengths. These are not like the standard hormones, these are absolutely the same as what your body does/should be making and they are much safer for you. However, they are still female hormones and female hormones make you hungry. Men really don't know how easy they have it in comparison. Lisinopril... not sure if that one would affect weight loss or not, I'll look it up and see if I can find anything. My own weight loss is twofold... For some time I couldn't eat solids or I'd barf. I mostly drank my calories. I knew it was easy to drink too many calories so I was VERY careful about what I drank. My doc gave me drugs for stomach spasms and such, while they worked a little it didn't really do enough. I just barfed less. So I was extremely careful about what I put in my mouth. While my food choices weren't huge my choice to limit calories was within my control and I keep it very low. Now I'm on Luvox. My doc claims it helps with the nerve impulses between brain/stomach and that has made a HUGE difference! I ate steak last weekend and didn't barf. It's the first solid meat I've kept down since being banded without a huge struggle and typically ... barfing. But Luvox causes weight gain so I've been very careful again and I still limit calories to 600 daily. I also work very hard, I do at least an hour of hard cardio daily but for some time I was doing 100 minutes daily. A couple of days ago it was 140 minutes throughout the day of hard cardio. Yesterday it was 15 minutes, I was a slug. Since Luvox I typically eat something like tuna salad, lettuce salads with Protein sources, black Beans, veggie chili, Matrix shakes, and daily I eat Chinese mixed veggies. I eat a LOT of salad even though it isn't a great bandster food but I went for so long without being able to have any I think I'm making up for lost time now. I still have no problem keeping calories at 600 daily. I also take 2 Flinstones Vitamins three times daily, chocolate chewable Calcium, "Green Source" crap that is disgusting and I probably won't buy more when this is gone, and a product called Xango. Oh, and Valarian Root for stomach spasms that is working quite well with Luvox. If I drink 3oz of Xango before I run I find a huge difference in how long I can run. Honestly, I don't know if it is the quality carbs, if it is all in my head, or if it actually does what it claims but as long as it is working I'm going to keep using it. For someone that doesn't buy the health food store crap, I'm sure buying a lot lately.

I want to get honest with myself. Pre-banding I used to binge eat when I was stressed with working long hours under lots of pressure or sometimes to wind down on Friday night. Other times, it might have been ToM related. I've done this since I was in primary school. It's as though something possesses my mind and I must cram vast quantities of food in my mouth. I think about it non-stop until I have binged. Once it's over, I feel guilty but also happy that the urge was met. I can almost feel a glee in my blood as I'm driving home with the food. I even gave bulimia a try when I was 16 but found it distasteful after a while. I continued the binge eating for many years but decided to swallow the food instead, which led to massive weight gain. In high school and uni, I remember trying to get money and then buying a full trolley of food which I ate in my locked room (and disposed the wrappers carefully and secretly). I never told anyone but I tried to address these urges by reading books about it and by keeping a 'grab bag' of healthy binge options (carrot sticks and the like) but it didn't work because I obviously wanted something unhealthy to hurt myself in some way. Sometimes I wouldn't binge for months on end and sometimes I'd do it four times a week. When I wasn't bingeing, I'd sometimes write really, really long lists of all the food I wanted. I'd put these lists in a cardboard box and when the box was full, I'd burn it (man, this gets sicker, doesn't it). Then I discovered the 'chew and spit' and thought it was the greatest thing. I've been doing this on and off (depending on whether I was on a diet) right up until my pre-op diet. Post banding, I still sometimes get the compulsion to eat huge quantities of food (not necessarily junk food all the time either) but I know I can't because of the band. I haven't put excessive food in my stomach even once since being banded because I don't want to ruin it but I'm disgusted to say that there is a bowl of gunk and junk on the coffee table next to me which I have just chewed and spat (spit). As I've become older, I admit that this behaviour has dissipated significantly to the point where I can live with it. That's why I thought getting the band wasn't such a bad idea. I don't feel as messed up now as when I was younger (I'm 31). While it's not a huge problem anymore, I want to stop doing this. At the same time, I have to admit that I also want to do it. It fulfils the urge I have to binge eat without ingesting all the calories or feeling sick. Going for a walk or deep breathing or meditating won't cut it. I've chewed and spat twice in the last two weeks (counting today), which far less than usual. Apart from my teeth, I'm in no physical danger but it's not normal or accountable. I wasn't even stressed today. It was a beautiful day. Why did I do it? It is an insult to myself as well as all the people in the world who don't have enough food. I acknowledge I need therapy for my food issues. I'm seeing a banding psychologist next week and I fully intend to bring this up in the first session. I wonder what she'll say. In the meantime, I want to know whether anyone else does this and is sick of keeping it a secret. Let's discuss it. Maybe it will help to know we're not alone. I sometimes can't imagine a life without abusing food. It fulfils a need in me which I don't fully understand.

this is a long article, so here is an excerpt: "If you offer your body something that tastes like a lot of calories, but it isn't there, your body is alerted to the possibility that there is something there and it will search for the calories promised but not delivered," Fowler says. _____________________________________________ Drink More Diet Soda, Gain More Weight? Overweight Risk Soars 41% With Each Daily Can of Diet Soft Drink By Daniel J. DeNoon WebMD Medical News Reviewed by Charlotte Grayson Mathis, MD June 13, 2005 -- People who drink diet soft drinks don't lose weight. In fact, they gain weight, a new study shows. The findings come from eight years of data collected by Sharon P. Fowler, MPH, and colleagues at the University of Texas Health Science Center, San Antonio. Fowler reported the data at the annual meeting of the American Diabetes Association in San Diego. "What didn't surprise us was that total soft drink use was linked to overweight and obesity," Fowler tells WebMD. "What was surprising was when we looked at people only drinking diet soft drinks, their risk of obesity was even higher." In fact, when the researchers took a closer look at their data, they found that nearly all the obesity risk from soft drinks came from diet sodas. "There was a 41% increase in risk of being overweight for every can or bottle of diet soft drink a person consumes each day," Fowler says. More Diet Drinks, More Weight Gain Fowler's team looked at seven to eight years of data on 1,550 Mexican-American and non-Hispanic white Americans aged 25 to 64. Of the 622 study participants who were of normal weight at the beginning of the study, about a third became overweight or obese. For regular soft-drink drinkers, the risk of becoming overweight or obese was: 26% for up to 1/2 can each day 30.4% for 1/2 to one can each day 32.8% for 1 to 2 cans each day 47.2% for more than 2 cans each day. For diet soft-drink drinkers, the risk of becoming overweight or obese was: 36.5% for up to 1/2 can each day 37.5% for 1/2 to one can each day 54.5% for 1 to 2 cans each day 57.1% for more than 2 cans each day. For each can of diet soft drink consumed each day, a person's risk of obesity went up 41%. Diet Soda No Smoking Gun Fowler is quick to note that a study of this kind does not prove that diet soda causes obesity. More likely, she says, it shows that something linked to diet soda drinking is also linked to obesity. "One possible part of the explanation is that people who see they are beginning to gain weight may be more likely to switch from regular to diet soda," Fowler suggests. "But despite their switching, their weight may continue to grow for other reasons. So diet soft-drink use is a marker for overweight and obesity." Why? Nutrition expert Leslie Bonci, MPH, RD, puts it in a nutshell. "You have to look at what's on your plate, not just what's in your glass," Bonci tells WebMD. People often mistake diet drinks for diets, says Bonci, director of sports nutrition at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center and nutrition consultant to college and professional sports teams and to the Pittsburgh Ballet. "A lot of people say, 'I am drinking a diet soft drink because that is better for me. But soft drinks by themselves are not the root of America's obesity problem," she says. "You can't go into a fast-food restaurant and say, 'Oh, it's OK because I had diet soda.' If you don't do anything else but switch to a diet soft drink, you are not going to lose weight." The Mad Hatter Theory "Take some more tea," the March Hare said to Alice, very earnestly. "I've had nothing yet," Alice replied in an offended tone, "so I can't take more." "You mean you can't take less," said the Hatter: "It's very easy to take more than nothing." Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland There is actually a way that diet drinks could contribute to weight gain, Fowler suggests. She remembers being struck by the scene in Alice's Adventures in Wonderland in which Alice is offended because she is offered tea but is given none -- even though she hadn't asked for tea in the first place. So she helps herself to tea and bread and butter. That may be just what happens when we offer our bodies the sweet taste of diet drinks, but give them no calories. Fowler points to a recent study in which feeding artificial sweeteners to rat pups made them crave more calories than animals fed real sugar. "If you offer your body something that tastes like a lot of calories, but it isn't there, your body is alerted to the possibility that there is something there and it will search for the calories promised but not delivered," Fowler says. Perhaps, Bonci says, our bodies are smarter than we think. "People think they can just fool the body. But maybe the body isn't fooled," she says. "If you are not giving your body those calories you promised it, maybe your body will retaliate by wanting more calories. Some soft drink studies do suggest that diet drinks stimulate appetite." SOURCES: Fowler, S.P. 65th Annual Scientific Sessions, American Diabetes Association, San Diego, June 10-14, 2005; Abstract 1058-P. Sharon P. Fowler, MPH, University of Texas Health Science Center School of Medicine, San Antonio. Leslie Bonci, MPH, RD, director, sports nutrition, University of Pittsburgh Medical Center. WebMD News: "Artificial Sweeteners May Damage Diet Efforts.""Artificial Sweeteners May Damage Diet Efforts." Davidson, T.L. International Journal of Obesity, July 2004; vol 28: pp 933-955.

ja9va: Way to go! Another pound is great!!! Suzzzie: Have you tried Skim Milk when you're thirsty like that? I've found that if I've had all or near all my required water for the day, that milk sometimes hits the spot when I'm still thirsty. I, too, had had a slight weight gain back...like 4 pounds...but I've now lost it plus another pound. NSV ahead: I even turned down Cheesecake Factory Cheesecake that a coworker brought in yesterday. Didn't even want it...and I LOVE Cheesecake Factory Cheesecake. Still battling the infection...it was almost gone and I think it's coming back. I've called the doc to see what they want me to do. UGGGH. And my first fill is a week from today. vbmenu_register("postmenu_515003", true);

Hi- I have been considering WLS for the past year. I have been overweight for about 10 years. Most of my weight gain has been caused by the hunger that has been driven by the medication I take. I don't have insurance, because in Canada it is difficult to get insurance. I have saved my money and now I am going to meet with my doctor. Overall I am healthy; no major illnesses, except for the Bipolar. My main depression is driven by my weight to be honest, so I REALLY want to get WLS. My fear is that because I am bipolar, I will be denied. We don't do psych consults here, but just the same...I am very nervous. I see this proceedure part of the solution to help get myself on track. But I am afraid to be let down. My question does anyone who has WLS also suffer from serious mental illness or bipolar, and did you have problems getting the WLS? Were the doctors concerned by your mental illness. As a side note for the most part I have been stable for the last year. Was anyone denied based on mental illness? I am very committed. I just need some feed back...and more importantly hope.

What a relief, Sherry! I'm so glad some definitive action was taken, and I understandhow nervous you are about weight gain, but face it, your health and well-being are first, then the weight loss can be taken up again after that. That's one advantage of the band, is it not???? HUGS to you, sweetie! We'll be here, like Dianne said, to hold your hand and encourage you, and remind you that your health is #1! Dianne, so glad to hear that your new position is fun and you enjoy it! I bet it's a kick to help other people who are just starting out! Yes, I do stay busy, but I like it that way, then I like some down time, and this way I'm in control of that! When I was teaching, I just had to say "no" to a lot of things I really wanted to do. Maybe now I say yes to too much, but I enjoy it! Tonight I'm going to a potluck dinner for Children's Ministry Council for our church...in fact, I've gotta put the stuffed pizza braid in the oven right about NOW! Hey Mandy, Betty, Patty, Eileen...and everyone else I left off the personals...will catch ya the next time! Hugs, Cindy

I love that show too. My husband has such a weak stomach I have to watch it in private. The lap band show has not aired here yet, next week I guess. I TIVO them, so I know I could not have missed it...I hope! I think the psychiatrist has NO idea what it is like to be overweight. I know that weight gain/loss is a huge psychological hurdle, but she seems to think everyone is going to sabatoge their surgery. Maybe they will, but they will die without it. Thank you for starting this thread, I love this show, but can't ever talk about it with anyone!

Hi All, Thought I would update everybody. I haven't logged in a while because, well, the scales were going up. Yes, even witht he BB. So, yesterday, I went to my Dr. to get an adjustment. A couple of weeks ago, I was too tight..then, when he took some out, I was too lose. UGH! Oh, the fun of the lapband. LOL!! So, anyways, when I weighed in yesterday, it showed a 3.8lb weight gain.:omg: But, the good news...IT WAS MUSCLE!! :whoo: Now, does anybody know how I log that into the BB!! BTW, I have no idea how I gained the muscle. Wish I knew so I could do that again. My Dr. was very happy and is putting me as one of his patients on his website. Great, now I'm going to be very accountable. LOL!! I stilll love my bodybugg and I'm going on 5 weeks of owning it. It keeps me accountable...wether I gain or lose. LOL!! So, I'm back up to 242...but, that is muscle gain. I'll take it.

JDKbsgirl, I don't worry about the weight gain in that phase. Right now I'm only consuming around 650 calories a day. This is from 6- 4 oz meals. Even if we have these other foods, I can't see going up in calories enough to make a weight gain.

Hi TexasBecky! You sound like one of us already! The time that I spend running is a wonderful part of my week. I don't talk or listen to music. Instead, it is a time to let my mind wander and go wherever it wants to. Many problems have been analyzed, plans have been made, artistic endeavors visualized, wise words (from my friends here at LBT) have been contemplated, and blessings have been counted. It not only clears my mind of unfinished business and give opportunity to reflect, but also makes me feel powerful and proactive. Instead of feeling like a victim to my uncontrollable weight gain, I have faith and hope in my ability to choose. All of these things bring me a brighter mood. There are also endorphins that are released. Though I have always exercised, it became less consistent as I put on weight. The way I have succeeded is through an exercise challenge thread that was started for those banded in the same month. The accountability and iprogressive ncrease in time and difficulty was what I needed. That is how I came to know Julie and Betty, and a few others here. We challenged each other and ourselves. Instinctively, I built a program for myself very similar to the couch potato to runner method. Julie used that and it is how she has become a strong runner. I totally recommend starting one for yourself!

Dear "baby": Welcome to the club. You are now in what's know as BANDSTER HELL. You want to act like a bandster, but without restriction, you are about the same as you were before surgery! We've been there! It's just awful. Here are my suggestions: 1. Don't beat yourself up. IF you could have done it without restriction, you wouldn't have needed the band. 2. Everytime you stay on your diet, you are being a superhuman. Everytime you cheat, you are being human. 3. This is the time to pretend to be a bandster and practice using small plates, saying thin things, doing bandster behaviors. Kind of a fake it til you make it thing for practice. Read a lot on this site and take time to educate yourself. 4. Remember that bandster hell is sooo much sharter than all the years you were in weight gain hell. You have started the journey and you are close to getting to really be a bandster. 5. See if they will do your fill 3 weeks after surgery instead..... 6. Congratulate yourself every day for sticking with the post op diet. Did you even know you were capable of such an extraordinary feat? 7. It's a good time to start to figure out the role that food played in your life. For me, food kept me drugged enough to watch TV at night. I don't do that anymore, and I don't think about food at night as a consequence. I used food when I was bored, so I've gotten some new hobbies...like exercise. 8. Mostly, just know that it's short term and that if you have to sleep through it to get through it, do whatever you need to.....

Hi there! Nice to see your posts again -=big smiles=- I just wanted to reply about tanning and stretch marks. I know many are against tanning whether it is natural or done in a tanning bed, buttttttt as one who does use the tanning beds and also has the dreaded stretch marks from weight gain and pregnancy I can tell you that it really makes a difference in the appearance of them. Mine are not nearly as noticable when I have tanned. I don't want to cause a debate on the right and wrongs of tanning, but it really helps me.

That's bad news on the weight gain dieka, but the good news is you don't have long to go now until you're banded. My dream piece of clothing? There are so many! lol I think I'd like to get a little black dress and look good in it. Have it drop nicely over my body and not be distorted by any lumps and bumps that shouldn't be there, lol. I also want to be able to wear jeans or a nice skirt and not have the muffin effect happen. You know, where the roll of fat escapes over the waist band and just hangs there.

I sometimes wonder if it would be easier or harder for me if I had been normal size at any time during my formative teen years, on forward. These are of course only my personal feelings, but on occasion I think about how many of you mention that you were 120lbs in HS or 115 when you married, etc. and you just can't stand the way you look now and how much you've changed. I find myself thinking you have no idea...I have NEVER been a normal weight since I was 9 years old. That is a terrible way to think, I know. Is your struggle easier than mine? No! But I'm being honest. I think to myself that at least you've experienced life at a normal weight. At least you've had the experience of going into a store and having someone come right over and help you. You've had occasion to not worry about which way to walk through a crowd or through a restaurant so that you don't bump against someone or have to squeeze through. You've ridden public transportation and not had someone look at you in disgust when they had to squeeze next to you in a seat. You've not had someone look at you with disdain because you are sweating after running to catch a bus or a cab. You've probably flown without worrying that someone will have to move out of their seat to let you out to the restroom (I won't go on a plane, I am afraid of not fitting in the bathroom). Some of you have joined the mile high club, I can't fathom that. You've had the experience of shopping at a regular store for clothes or shoes or swimsuits, maybe you were able to get your wedding dress off the rack. You've stood up in weddings, I haven't. I think sometimes it is because some brides worry about the appearance of their pictures, some don't want a fat bridesmaid in them. Some don't want to limit which dresses they choose for their maids to something available in plus-size. Some don't want a fat girl in a strapless dress. You've had sex and been on top without worrying that you'll crush a guy's pelvis. You've had sex and not been mortified when your stomach rolls smacked against each other and made that horrible sound. You've not had some man make a comment about how huge your thighs are when he starts to "go down there" (that ruins ANY chance for having a good time, let me tell you). Maybe you have been lucky enough not to have your heart broken after you fall in love with a gay man because that's the only man who will give you attention and affection. I cannot remember being thin. I have been smaller than I am now, so I still have the issues with running into someone I knew years ago when I was merely obese, not super morbidly obese. I put on almost 100lbs since I've met my DH nearly 9 years ago. My 20th HS reunion is coming up and I still think about how much I've gained since HS. I see the Slimfast commercials where someone wants to lose thirty or fifty pounds for their reunion and I laugh. I was a 22 in HS, I probably weighed in the low 200's. I'm in the 300's now. I was near 400 about eight months ago. So I do still have some of the issues that those who were at one time thin struggle with, too. I am sure it's hard on folks who married thin and then have gained a lot of weight over the years. I know that there are spouses out there (men and women) who make comments about how their mates have let themselves go, and that's painful. I'm fortunate my DH has not said one word about my weight gain. But my previous love did. He told me about how his previous long-time love had gained from 130-280 over the course of their relationship and then he said he didn't want me to gain an ounce (I was about 250 then). When we split he said he was grossed out by my gain (about 20lbs) and disappointed that I wasn't still going to the gym like I was at the beginning of our relationship. He was 400lbs himself! Now I certainly have not sat back and been a wallflower. I am a very in-your-face type of person, I have the ability to be an extrovert, or be somewhat introverted. I never did let my weight stop me from doing much. I used to dive, I loved coasters (until I did get too large to fit), I travel. I am one of those life of the party types. I can go to a gathering not knowing a soul and walk out with two or three lunch dates and a few new friends. I guess that's a good thing, hopefully as I lose weight and get closer to whatever "normal" will be for me, I will not change. I do not want to become a different person. I do worry about that, though. One of my friends here said in one of her posts that her DH knew her thin, didn't like her fat, and is now treating her like shit because she's losing the weight he wanted her to! That he knew who she was at all stages and that she hasn't changed. For those who like her met their mates at a normal weight, I think the transition *might* be a little easier, unless a situation like hers arises. But how are my DH and I going to handle it when my exterior begins to transform into someone he's never met? He's certainly larger than he was 15 years ago, but there are pictures, I'd recognize him at 165lbs like I recognize him at 235lbs. There are no pictures of me at a normal weight, I will be a different appearing person. I don't want that change to affect me/us in a negative fashion. I work with a woman who is 112lbs and is doing Weight Watchers to lose 2lbs. She is devastated that she can't get back to 110lbs. She has 3 children. I am sure her struggle is a real one to her, I would never poo poo her difficulty. But it is NOT the same as mine. No one's struggles are the same as the next person. I don't think you can categorize what anyone goes through.

So much of what we are is due to the luck of the genetic deck. I have always felt that was true but now I am reading a book on genetics and it is even more apparent that nature really does trump nurture. This is why I for one am quite happy to avail myself of anything modern medicine can hand out: anti-depressants to treat the depression which runs in my family; prescription glasses to correct my lousy ageing vision; a lap-band to fix the post-menopausal weight gain which mirrors that of my mum; and plastic surgery to repair some of the damage done by ageing. Green is a practical grrl.

As a "lower BMI bandster" I've never thought for a moment that I faced the same journey. The health and fitness I enjoyed even as an obese person was a blessing and made my journey that much easier. The fact that I never became super morbidly obese was because my obesity was due to lifestyle factors - the typical weight gain that happens when you have kids, stop work etc. I wasnt just piling on more and more pounds, I'd reached max fatness and held it for a few years before I got banded. I didnt have anything like the headwork to do, anything like the dysfunctional eating to battle and absolutely none of the emotional scarring to heal. I've never not fit in a movie seat, a booth, an aeroplane seat. I got banded becuase I was worried about my ankle, yes, but more so because I didnt like the way I looked. It was totally a decision based on vanity. I've never tried to pretend I totally understand what others are going through, I'm sure actually my "just do it" attitude has at times been insensitive even, because honestly, when people post that they need more and more restriction or they've gained or they cant stop eating chocolate, I really do just marvel that they've gone so far as to have surgery and they STILL cant control themselves? I know that I just dont get it. I try to be respectful of it as a journey totally different to mine and I hope that that works in reverse and people understand that a little bit of weight is much easier to tackle than a lot so why the hell not do it now before it gets even harder?

Honestly, shy may be in a fair amount of denial. I denied my weight gain for a LONG time. Sure, I was overweight and could stand to lose a few pounds... HOLY CRAP I NEED TO LOSE ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY POUNDS!!!! It was a bit of a shock when I MADE myself see what I looked like, how much I weighed and what was "normal". This may be a part of it. She is definitely in denial about her size and I don't think she is being honest about her weight or diet either. She is a twin and her sister is at least 30 pounds smaller than her and wears a smaller size; they are constantly in competition and she seems to feel that if she can get in a smaller size (whether it zips or not) it fits. Unfortunately, it looks like she is about to burst out of her clothes because she refuses to get a bigger size. I had a friend in high school who was bigger than me, so I figured I was 'okay' if I stayed smaller than her... her and I both gained weight proportionately over the years, I was still smaller than her tho, maybe your friend feels something like this? I'm sure this is part of it too. I was ALWAYS the "fat" one in the group, weighing at least 50 pounds or more than everyone else. The rest of our friends don't have a problem with my weight loss or the surgery, and are very supportive and complimentary. But, I'm not the fattest anymore. Our friends say that if we stand together, she is much bigger than I am. Of course, my mental image hasn't changed yet so I still see myself 50 pounds heavier and think the rest of my friends are nuts, lol! I hope it can get worked out, I've lost alot of friendships for various reasons, mostly that most of the friends I've had are still living the same lives they lived in high school (10 years later), and it drives me nuts! but all of the friendships lost for whatever reason hurt. Thank you! I hope we can work it out too - it's a lifelong friendship I would hate to have end over jealousy. Our kids are friends, and it's a shame she is so bitter right now. It's to the point none of the rest of our friends even invite her to parties or outings because she is so negative and unhappy even around her kids and they don't want her around THEIR kids! It does hurt too, she was really excited before I had the surgery. . . . .until you could "see" I lost weight. Maybe it has to do with me getting more attention now. Maybe she is jealous because I fade into the woodwork less now? I don't know. Right now I'm just giving her time and space as she needs it. There's not much else I can do. Thanks again for the support and kind words. I hope everything is okay too with you and your mom! Take care!

Honestly, shy may be in a fair amount of denial. I denied my weight gain for a LONG time. Sure, I was overweight and could stand to lose a few pounds... HOLY CRAP I NEED TO LOSE ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY POUNDS!!!! It was a bit of a shock when I MADE myself see what I looked like, how much I weighed and what was "normal". I had a friend in high school who was bigger than me, so I figured I was 'okay' if I stayed smaller than her... her and I both gained weight proportionately over the years, I was still smaller than her tho, maybe your friend feels something like this? I hope it can get worked out, I've lost alot of friendships for various reasons, mostly that most of the friends I've had are still living the same lives they lived in high school (10 years later), and it drives me nuts! but all of the friendships lost for whatever reason hurt.

Lee, Good for you for doing all you can to get healthier and doing what's best for you! I know it has to be hard to not have a lot of support from your family, hopefully they will come around! I posted my jealousy situation on another thread a few weeks ago, but I'll repost it here on yours, here's my deal: I am currently having a situation with a lifelong friend who has always and forever been the "thin" one and now our roles are almost reversed (I am by no means "thin" yet but. . . .) she has been gaining steadily over the last several years and now we are within 10 pounds of each other. Her weight continues to go up and thankfully, mine is still going down. She is having a very hard time with this as she is supposed to be the the "thin" one, not me -- I'm supposed to stay fat, forever. It has, as you can imagine, really put a strain on our friendship. She claims to diet and exercise constantly but when we are together and there is food involved, she makes all of the wrong choices for "dieting" or eating healthy and tries to get me to do the same. She gets very aggravated when I tell her I can't eat the cheesesteaks, thick-crust pizzas, mega fries and strombolis anymore. I've tried to explain to her that it will get stuck and cause me tremendous pain, not to mention all the other fun stuff we go through when something clashes with our band! I'm not sure how this is going to work out, but right now, it doesn't look too good. I'm really hoping she can come to terms with her weight gain and not be so negative towards me for doing something that is improving my health. It has to be hard for her, having such a role reversal, and I know all too well how being overweight and unhappy feels.......I've had years and years of practice. I've offered to exercise with her, share recipes, whatever, but she's not interested. The thing that really got to her was when her 7-year-old said "mommy, Stacy is skinnier than you now, you're getting really fat!" I know that really hurt her feelings, too. I feel really bad for her because I know her struggle, but she doesn't want to work at losing weight together. I don't know, I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens. I posted this about a month ago and sadly, nothing has changed. I've lost a few more pounds and she has gained more and become more bitter. I'm almost afraid to bring up anything about weight loss or healthy eating because she bites my head off. We don't talk nearly as much as we used to and she gets really ticked off if our friends comment on my weight loss. We have definitely drifted further apart; it seems the more weight I lose the madder she gets. :faint: