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Oh! One more thing, sorry~~ of course how he relates to you is different. He's not just shrinking in size, after WLS he is changing emotionally as well. I know for a fact that I am becoming a new person~ the person that was buried under mounds of fat and obsessive unhealthy behaviors. Be aware that there will be changes, some will be major. It's akin to an alcoholic getting sobriety. I don't know if he is working on the inner issues that got him to his highest weight or not, and there's no way to know, not even for you. It's a highly personal journey and not really your business....sorry. But be prepared for changes. Whether or not the relationship will survive the changes has yet to be determined. Meanwhile, like I said above, I highly suggest you return the focus to yourself and keep it there.

There are plenty of threads on here that talk about this...the soonest in I've seen is 8 weeks with doctor's permission for a special occasion. I am curious as well. What I am interested in is - aside from the accelerated affect of alcohol - what are the true risks? The things I have seen alluded to - by my interpretation- and I am not 100% sure is 1) the stomach itself remains swollen for 4-5 weeks? 2) subjecting the stomach to anything so harsh so early is a risk of ulcer? 3) Of course, extra un needed calories as well as poor decision making I would love to hear the specifics- I always operate better with the facts. I have decided to wait at least 8 weeks and to discuss it with my doctor before doing anything. I do know there are people who enjoy drinks every week on here - and I have a regular night out that I would like a glass of wine also- but for now tea, decaf lattes, etc are doing just fine for me.

Be prepared if you drink any alcohol....it affects you in very big ways in even shorter times. I have become quite the "cheap date" since my surgery...lol

I do understand the frustration! I was banded on Aug 13th, and lost about 10 lbs post op on liquids and mushy foods. Between my 1st fill in Sept and my 3rd in January I gained and lost the same 5 pounds. I was hungry all the time, and breaking down and snacking at night. I told myself that since I "could" eat 3 pieces of pizza that my band wasn't working and I kind of gave up a little. I didn't really gain, but I certainly wasn't making losing progress. I knew as soon as I sipped Water after that last fill that it was different. I could FEEL the water sip slowly draining from my pouch. I hadn't felt that at all yet. Also in the past month my fiancee found out his cholesterol was insanely high... so high and off the charts they couldn't calculate it. He's spent the past 8 months thinking he's been supportive of my diet needs, when he hasn't been at all. There was still snack food and junk food in the house. He was still ordering pizza and chinese food and getting ice cream multiple times weekly. Although I wasn't eating as much as I had before I was absolutely having little bits of all of that. I would tell myself the band wouldn't let me eat more than I should... I was deceiving myself. I knew that none of it was OK to have so often. a piece of Pizza once a month.. OK. 2 or 3 pieces of pizza a couple times a week... NO. He's also a big night time eater, and as I struggle the most after 7pm it was killing me. I'd be tired and what little willpower I had through the day had been eaten away. He'd want me to make something at 9 or 10 pm.. basically a 2nd dinner. So I was constantly around food and preparing food and eating food. Now we're on a very strict diet and he's sticking to it. Bringing his cholesterol down is very important... his dad has had 2 heart attacks. As bad as this may sound, his bad cholesterol has been great for me! He isn't bringing junk food home. He isn't ordering out. He isn't eating all night. I am spending a lot of time in the kitchen preparing healthy meals, packing them for both of us for work, making sure we have healthy Snacks for the kids to eat too... no junk for the kiddoes either... high cholesterol runs in his family, not taking any chances with the girls. He's actually lost 10 pounds in the past couple of weeks and is very excited about it. I'm down almost 10 in that time too.... So... what I needed for success has been the band being at the right place, AND the home being in the right frame of mind. I need absolutely nothing in the house that I can or want to snack on. Even with restriction I'd eat a bowl of ice cream if it was in the house. Get the junk out of the house. If there are others in the home who really want it, have a chat. They can pig out all they want at school or work or out with friends, but the home is healthy food... and not a lot to snack on healthy or not. Even doing this for a month or two- to get into the swing of it- will help. I know that if I can stick strictly to a diet for a month it's so much easier to say no to the bad foods. I turned down pizza and wings last week at work! from the BEST pizza place in town. No birthday cake either. I know I'm not ready to even have those things in small doses... because I do think I understand now that food is an addiction for some people. I am one of them. I get a taste of chocolate and I'll do what it takes to get more. I would hide it so nobody else could have any. i would eat junk in secret so nobody would see me... if they didn't know it didn't count. Cereal is a HUGE problem for me. Thankfully our girls are strange and hate most cereals so we just don't need them in the house. It makes Breakfast on school days a pain, but it keeps me from ahving 2 bowls of cocoa puffs while watching Grey's Anatomy. I'm no expert on all of this, but I have lost and gained hundreds of pounds over the past 20 years... ever since I was a 150 lb 5th grader and went to Weight Watcher's camp. I know that food is an addiction. People without this problem can't understand it. Just like I can't understand an alcoholic's need to drink constantly... I don't really care for alcohol much anymore. One or two glasses of wine a month are fine for me. But I accept that some people can't say no to the drink. Can't say no to a bong or crack pipe. I can't say no to my problem foods when they're around. It's how I made it past 300 pounds. So. If you're feeling frustrated try ridding your home of everything you'd snack on or eat too much of. Others in the home may whine at first, but it actually will be better for them too in the long run! and it doesn't have to be forever... but ask them this. If your husband/wife had a heart attack and you HAD to follow a low sodium/low fat heart healthy diet... you'd do it, right? So why isn't it important enough to support you and your weight loss? The thing you underwent surgery for? I couldn't get him to understand this until he had to change his diet for his health, and he's since apologized for not being as supportive as he thought he was being. Having my band in a nice spot of restriction has helped. I can't eat very much at one time right now, but having no snacking options has been a Godsend.

So my surgery is scheduled for 2/6 and my 2-week pre-op liquid diet starts Monday. Tonight we were invited to a black tie event. Started with champagne (I don't normally drink), then hors d'oeuvres (all pastry-wrapped or deep fried). Then to a fixed dinner: lobster bisque, then spinach salad, then sea bass, then sorbet, then beef entree, then a chocolate decadence dessert buffet. The entire thing (starting with champagne and ending with dessert) was 3 hours and 20 minutes. I'm stuffed to the gills. :faint: But here's my REAL problem -- the whole time I was thinking -- "How would I handle this if I were banded right now?" The alcohol wasn't a big deal, I could forego that easily. But how would I have gotten the right foods into me at the right time (Protein first, for example), and how would I have gone that entire time without drinking during a meal??? :cry Beyond that, if I were experiencing PB's during that time, it would have been really awkward (the bathroom was pretty far away). So as I'm getting closer to REALLY getting banded (my last surgery date was postponed due to illness but I'm not sick now, nor is anyone in my family, so it's likely to really happen this time), I'm getting a little nervous about how I'm going to LIVE after the surgery. :nervous Any input is appreciated.

You are asking us to tell you if it's worth it, I think all of us post-op will resoundingly say, yes, it was worth it for us. The questions you might actually be asking yourself is Are you ready? The things you are worrying about are really minor when compared to the more energy, the better health, the longer life you might live because of the surgery, in my opinion. Also, I don't want to sound like a negative nelly, but it sounds like your worries may be hiding some deeper issues for you. Have you talked to your Psychiatrist about these fears? For many of us, it's an 'easy' road, but there are those out there also who have suffered complications, and their journey is different, and more difficult. The truth is, eventually you will be able to eat your favorite foods again, you will be able to drink alcohol, and if you want, you can drink while you eat. The other half of that coin is our favorite foods probably contributed to how we got to where we needed surgery in the first place, alcohol is a lot of empty calories, and sadly some people find it too easy to trade their food addiction for alcoholism, and drinking while you eat fills you up faster, makes your food digest faster, so you are hungrier sooner, and can make you really uncomfortable, and possible cause you to vomit. Having the sleeve is not like a magic pill. It doesn't make you skinny automatically, it is a great tool for encouraging you to make better choices, but if you're afraid of those better choices before you get the tool, you might not know how to use it once you get it, and that could make you more miserable. I don't think anyone can answer for you if it's worth it, because only you know yourself, but do be sure that you know yourself enough to know you are ready and can face the challenges, because this is a change for the rest of your life, it's not reversable, and yes, you will have to make sacrifices. I hope you can do some soul searching. Good luck on whatever you decide.

@@Ashlegal I'm 100% sure she's right!! It's almost like being an alcoholic but our liquor of choice is food. It's an addiction. Same thing....only different.

For those of us who drink socially (I do), once we start drinking again post-op we usually KEEP on drinking. So it's not just "one glass of wine at Event X" -- it's more likely you'll drink a glass of wine most nights thereafter. Or you'll drink two or three glasses if you drink more than a social drinker does (7 glasses of wine per week for women). And if you did that ... 1. That's an extra 100 - 300 extra calories you'd be drinking every day. And since the first six months post-op is viewed as the "honeymoon period" (during which we will lose the most weight the easiest we will ever lose weight again), that's putting a brake on how much weight you can lose during that period. 2. That's also a lot of acid you'd be putting in your smaller stomach before it's completely healed. Most of us have been prescribed a heavy-duty antacid Rx to reduce stomach acid to help our stomachs heal better. Seems contradictory to drink alcohol at the same time. 3. Finally, drinking wine early on post-op may make an alcohol transfer addiction easier for a minority of WLS patients to acquire. Everyone has the freedom to do what they want post-op. But those are some reasons why drinking alcohol early on post-op is generally discouraged by bariatric medicos. Good luck to all.

11 months out and I don't touch alcohol or soda because the fear of heartburn and reflux. Lemons and limes give me reflux as well so stay away from them as well. I was never told not to have soda but definitely told not to have alcohol in the first year.

Love it! Thank you for sharing it....I often have said that people have been addictions: drugs, alcohol, cigerettes, caffiene, but food is also one.

Alcoholic beverages, sugar laden soft drinks, etc. are also ways to cheat around the band... flow right through, and are loaded with useless carbs with no other beneficial nutritional values. Add ice cream to the that list, too.

Another issue I've noticed with drinking alcohol of any kind is that it lowers my inhibitions and I revert to old eating habits within the boundaries my stomach allows. For instance, I had no trouble with the wine but thought, "what the heck" and stopped for ice cream. The ice cream didn't stay down. I've had a few drinks since then and always ended up having an extra Protein bar that I wasn't hungry for and didn't need or some other over-eating. It's not worth it for me to have that result after drinking. I love a glass of wine a week or a margarita but it's not worth it at this stage I don't think. Just my 2 pennies. :-)

My surgeon and nutritionist said to wait 6 mos but waiting year would be even better. Alcohol burns like sugar and your stomach is so small you will now be what he called a "cheap drunk".

Watched this 2021 UK documentary yesterday & it was very interesting. Dr Chris van Tulleken put himself on an ultra processed diet to see the impacts on his health. The results were quite frightening & also thought provoking. Within a month his body was producing more hunger hormones & fewer of the full/satiated hormones. He was never full & was always hungry. His brain was creating new links which are very similar to those formed with alcohol, cigarette & drug addictions. And of course the expected increases in weight, cholesterol, etc. Scariest was that they don’t believe some of these changes will ever be completely reversed by returning to a low processed diet. Could explain the struggle many of us continue to experience with hunger, cravings, etc. Worth watching if you can find it. I watched it on Netflix here in Australia.

I am from Calgary too! Had a crappy marriage that lasted 19 years too long, lol...& I was married 19 years. Alcoholic cheating husband.... So you had dinner 1st? What was it, a whole 3/4 cup? Even tho I am teasing you, I am looking forward to eating only that much, lol! I am 54..going to be 55 in Sep.. I plan on having the op Oct 13th when I get back from my cruise....I love being single, lol!!! I al hoping I can get all my tests done before then. I want to start getting better. It didn't come thru 2x....just saying too bad you had to type it out 2x.

It was an encouraging thing to hear a message from my paster about his own personal weight and gluttony struggles. The message centered around 'do you want to be made whole' the example of many given when we go to the ER or hospital outside there are those with an IV pole, smoking with an oxygen mask. The obvious is they want healing but not wholeness. He was convicted by God about his weight when various health issues came crashing down on him. He elected to have a gastric bypass done a year ago. None but a few in the congregation knew. As Jesus said to the man at the pool, 'do you want to be made whole' who'd been sitting there for 38 years. He took up his mat and walked, was made whole. It takes courage to come forward and admit to this, I struggle myself with gluttony and it is sinful to willfully abuse my body in that way because, in the end, it's not being a good steward of my body, and I'm not able to live fully without being whole in every way. Potlucks, dinners etc. at church are a thing, and it's an issue that is swept under the rug a lot. The following are quotes from his notes: "I know this is an extremely sensitive issue. As a recovering obese man, and I purposely choose this phrase and terminology as it is an addiction, no different than drugs or alcohol. Eating sweet and high-fat foods releases dopamine in your brain, pleasure stimulants." "A recovering alcoholic should never take the drink any alcoholic drink, a recovering smoker shouldn’t partake of any tobacco product, a recovering gambling addict shouldn’t be buying lottery tickets! I can’t eat desserts, snack foods etc… It’s certainly permitted in the Bible but I can’t control myself with them. I needed an intervention. As most of you already know, with great conviction, prayer, prompting of the Holy Spirit coupled with the loving support of my family and the leadership of the congregation I elected to undergo Gastric By-Pass surgery a year ago, January 2017. 162 pounds later it's off! But its not over. " "I’ve had comments such as: “oh, you took the easy way”. First I can tell you that no surgery is easy. Second, I recently, much to my chagrin gained 8 pounds of which I immediately got off. Even though I had the surgery I can gain it back by eating the wrong things. The surgery just kicks started my weight loss, I must continue to exercise daily (a fit bit) and log everything I eat, and I mean everything. " His wife Barb has been doing low carb, high protein high veggies some fruit for the last year with him and has lost 60 pounds. She herself is short, but her testimony floored me. God asked her, 'What will you do when you say here I am Lord send me, and yet you are physically unable to be sent?' That stuck with me, and in tears, I repented and daily come to God for assistance. The Bible has a lot to say about taking care of our bodies: Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize. 1 Corinthians 9:24-27 It was so encouraging to me that I went to my paster and told him I had the sleeve done in Oct. and he smiled and said congratulations, keep going you look great! As a couple that leads our church, I admire them for their honesty and commitment to God, themselves their family and us as a congregation they've been entrusted with. They both are servant leaders and I am thankful for them. I just thought that this would encourage others, for it says in the scriptures that we are to encourage one another with the very thing we've been encouraged with. Hope this helps someone.

I am one week and one day out. I feel bloated. I can lie on my stomach, don't know if I should or not but I do. I can also lie on either side. I have not gotten to anywhere near 64 oz. of water. I have been drinking 16 oz of milk with 1 scoop of Unjury. No, I cannot finish that in one sitting. Because I have added Unjury and orange juice to my diet I have reached 800 and 900 calories within a day. Before that I was teetering around 378 calories a day. I am sick of burping all the time. I am sick of gas sneaking up on me and I am certainly tired of pooping liquid. I am especially tired of thinking I have to pass gas and finding that its much bigger than that. However, I am 10 lbs down. I cannot complain. My belly itches, so I wipe it down with alcohol wipes. I still have all but one of my steri-strips. That's probably because I am terrified to "wash" my stomach. I do not want an infection. Since I am using 70% alcohol wipes I know that my stomach is clean - Of course I bathe (shower) the rest of me. I am back at work today. Earlier I was suffering, but I took a dose of liquid Tylenol and I am back to "normal."

Since I've been drinking coffee daily since I was 16 yrs. old, I would definitely say that I'm a caffeine addict! I've tried to switch to decaf, but get terrible headaches. Since I was banded (July 2010), I've gone from 3-4+ large cups/mugs to 1-2 daily, with Splenda and fat free unflavored creamer or just with fat free flavored creamer. My coffee us the one thing that I just won't give up. Sodas are out, alcohol is out, but I need my coffee!

I am IN! Thanks for starting this Molly, I'm actually excited. I was banded 2/10 and have lost about 12 lbs, a bit bummed as I've been really following instructions until this week. I'm in the last week of the mushy food but I went out with friends and spent a day drinking tequila sunrises and a few chips and bean dip. Then the last couple of days my work brought in chicken nuggets, fajitas, guacamole & chips and I have partaken but in small amounts also out with co-workers at night throwing back a few glasses of red wine. Is it true that alcohol slows the process of weightloss? I guess I'm bummed because I haven't eaten the mass quantity of bad foods I normally would, in fact they've been in very small portions. I guess with what i've eaten since banded I expected more of a weight loss even though my choices over this past week were NOT on plan. Am I just being ignorant? Anyway, I'm glad for this because I'm putting my guilt aside and going back to my Protein shakes and to the instructions provided by my doctor. I'm looking forward to this spreadsheet being a great weight loss tool for me.

How ever said being single sucks.... obviously isn't having as much fun as i am. So i think in stead of writing updates, i think ill write my escapades here.... If you'll don't mind. Post 10/20/16: I don't care what anyone says... Dating is fun.... Date again last night and tonight.... Friday maybe open... so hit me up... hurry... it's going fast.. Saturday another date... This is how that went: Thursdays date went great... Tim (executive for Entergy) is a really nice guy. Had dinner at a great restaurant (by the way, my son is loving all the leftovers i bring home). Weekend was ok... i actually spent it with my soon to be ex. He as bought tickets to a concert and i had previously agreed to go.... then we went to Houston saturday and back home on sunday. Halloween week: Started on Thursday, had dinner with a girlfriend visiting from KY.... Then drinks with Brian (his oldest son and my oldest son are best friends). He and i always have a fun time. We ended that night at a "gentlemen's club" aka strip club... lol Get this, im sitting at the bar at the "club" and Brian is to my right and i look over and there is ??? can't say his name (his son and my youngest son are best friends, what are the odds)..... Friday ended up being a good night. Visited with some friends and planned out night out for Saturday. Saturday.... OMG.. my wonder woman costume didn't turn out the way i wanted, so i scrapped it. Went with a kinda steam punk thing. I got home at 4am.... hehe. Sunday was another day/night in the quarter. This was with Todd (golf pro).... he and i hit the quarter, drinks, and ended with dinner at GW Finns...(so good). This week: Wednesday night had a date with Daniel.... NOT good, he's was more out going when i meet him (maybe it was the alcohol) First he forgot to tell me he has to small kids. 5 & 8.. NOTTTT. The conversation was torture.. So it told him that i didn't think it would work... he agreed. Last night was with Tim again.... Went to Copeland's, nice dinner and drinks.... sat and talk for a longgggg time. Tonight, Im meeting with ??? for drinks. Saturday i have a date with Scott (NHR driver) so.... gentlemen... start your engines.... Stay tuned for future escapades..... hehehehe Chris

I just turned 52 and I still haven't grown up. I have also been kicked in the head several times by life as most of us had and as you, didn't care how I looked. At least that's what I've told myself. I'm now 13 months post op and I'm in a much better place physically and mentally but the battle is still being fought. I think now it's time to embrace the battle itself and the process and table any per-conceived notions of a "destination". I've walked away from alcohol and tobacco a few years before deciding to go on the path I'm on now. I also struggle with the stress/boredom/habitual eating monsters. What I try to do now is acknowledge these things and try my best to see them as they come and hopefully do something that moves me in a healthier direction. Life will continue to kick us but this is when we can decide what we're going to do about it. Remember, our kids are watching us... and my hope is they get strength and love from watching us get back up. I hope your wife improves her health, as do you. Much love, -D

I just turned 52 and I still haven't grown up. I have also been kicked in the head several times by life as most of us had and as you, didn't care how I looked. At least that's what I've told myself. I'm now 13 months post op and I'm in a much better place physically and mentally but the battle is still being fought. I think now it's time to embrace the battle itself and the process and table any per-conceived notions of a "destination". I've walked away from alcohol and tobacco a few years before deciding to go on the path I'm on now. I also struggle with the stress/boredom/habitual eating monsters. What I try to do now is acknowledge these things and try my best to see them as they come and hopefully do something that moves me in a healthier direction. Life will continue to kick us but this is when we can decide what we're going to do about it. Remember, our kids are watching us... and my hope is they get strength and love from watching us get back up. I hope your wife improves her health, as do you. Much love, -D After thinking about my reply for the last couple days.... I did not mean to come off as cold or indifferent so I apologize if that's how my typed words came across. Regardless of what I or anyone else says, you are a bada$$ for doing what you are doing. Getting healthy for your self and your family shows how much of a rock star you really are.

Surgeon's recommendations differ but mine is pretty reasonable. I am 12 weeks post op. I started on "real food" (small plates with obvious restrictions..no sugar, bad starches, soda etc) at 4 weeks post op. But even though I am "allowed" to eat a lot of variety, my sleeve still doesn't want anything more than easy to digest Proteins, even 3 months post op. The easy to digest (without pain) proteins I enjoy and can tolerate are small amounts of fish, soft vegetables, cheese, and occasionally a very tender piece of beef such as tenderloin. Sushi/Sashimi is wonderful. A true treat for me is to make a small plate of about 2 oz of Sashimi, and 2 oz of soft cooked artichoke. As for wine, you are going to get lots of differing opinions. Beginning with week 8 post op I have enjoyed a small glass (maybe 2-3 oz) of very dry wine on occasion. Be careful, because alcohol is only empty calories. Small, tasty, high quality plates are the key. Just a few bites of something packed with nutrients is all you will want. Social events are fine. If food is involved I just order a small plate of something healthy and graze on it the whole time. No one ever notices that I rarely eat even half. I spend more time in conversation now.

I consulted two surgeons prior to having my sleeve surgery. I was actually in two different programs for 2 months each. The first surgeon was very strict on everything. He spoke in terms of "never" in regards to carbonated drinks, alcohol, certain medications and etc. He was also in the first 5 years of his practice in bariatrics after being a general surgeon for much longer. The second surgeon who I actually used...was further along in his experience with bariatric surgery. He also was very clear on certain aspects but also left certain things open for me to test and evaluate.

I'm only five feet tall and my surgeon said I'd probably get to 150. Now he did not say that was my ideal weight, but I guess that might be where a lot of his patients end up at. I'm aiming for 140. In my entire adult life I was never under 128 pounds, with age, menopause, lower activity level, I don't think I'll ever see 128 again. No problem for me. I'll be fine If I end up at 150. I had no co-morbids before banding and would consider myself healthy, if still overweight by some random chart. If a taller person can be healthy at 150, why wouldn't I be. As long as my BP is good, my cholesterol is good etc. I know much thinner people that have much worse eating habits and have HBP or high cholesterol, does that make them healthier because they weigh less? I know one woman that is very thin but she wasn't eating, her calories came from alcohol, is that healthy? You can decide what you are comfortable with.