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My desire for lapband surgery began in the fall of 2006. I'd struggled with being fat for over 10 years and had many health problems including: PCOS, diabetes, hypertension, arthritis, sleep apnea and depression. By doing my research and speaking with my doctors, I'd learned that it was the PCOS that caused my massive weight gain of 100 pounds in a year. It was also PCOS that made it damn near impossible for me to lose weight. My desire to be healthy and to be able to have children further cemented my resolve to have lapband surgery. I'd done the research and knew all the risks involved. These risks were nothing compared to the ticking timebomb of a heart attack that I'd surely have if I stayed at the weight I was. We went to a seminar and shortly after I was already done with my surgeon consult, nutrition class and psych evaluation. My family doctor and cardiologist were both on board and had written my letters of support for the surgery. Now the only road block was our insurance company. Blue Cross/Blue Shield of California had a BMI restriction in their policy. My BMI had to be 49 or less in order for them to approve coverage. Well, needless to say, my BMI was over 49. I struggled to lose the 15 pounds necessary to qualify for the surgery. If it was easy for me to lose weight, I wouldn't have been trying to get the surgery in the first damn place. After almost a year, I'd just about given up. Thankfully, my husband checked the insurance policy again and discovered that they had amended the restriction. So, in November of 2007 we called our insurance company (whose named changed to Anthem Blue Cross/Blue Shield) and they confirmed the restriction had been lifted. We then contacted our surgeon to get the ball rolling for approval. We explained to them that the policy had changed and we should now meet approval for coverage. They stated they would submit the paperwork right away. But...instead of listening to what we told them, they simply reviewed the printed policy they had in their office and sent us a letter stating the BMI requirement. So, we had to call them and reiterate the amendment in the policy. Due to their lack of attention, this set us back two weeks. Finally, they submitted the paperwork as they had originally promised and we got our approval. My surgery was scheduled for March 3rd, 2008. In preparation, I had to spend 4 hours at the hospital for various exams: Upper GI, barium swallow, chest x-ray, blood tests, etc. The week before was spent gathering everything I would need post-surgery. We also cleaned out our fridge and cabinets, tossing out most everything that would not be allowed on my menu. My pre-op consult was on February 28th, only a few days before the surgery. He asked if I had questions. I really didn't. We had done so much research that I felt fully prepared. The truth is that for the two weeks prior to the surgery, I was crying every other hour. I was so worried that something would go wrong. I was envisioning the worst - that I would die during surgery. My concerns revolved around leaving my husband and parents behind. My father has emphysema and COPD and my mother is not as strong as she used to be. I wanted this surgery so that I could be more help to my loved ones - not leave them behind. My hugs lasted longer. Late at night, tears would roll down my cheeks as my husband slept. I made a point to tell my friends how important they are to me. I tried to make sure everyone knew how much I loved them. I had a wonderful time saying good-bye to the foods that I loved. T-Bone steaks are one of my first loves. I was also a Coca-Cola addict. Being asian, jasmine rice was a staple at every dinner...this is probably one of the most difficult habits to break. Luckily, I'd become tired of food, so saying good-bye wasn't difficult. Ultimately, I knew that this was what I needed to do in order to take control of my life and my health. As scary as it was, I was ready.

My desire for lapband surgery began in the fall of 2006. I'd struggled with being fat for over 10 years and had many health problems including: PCOS, diabetes, hypertension, arthritis, sleep apnea and depression. By doing my research and speaking with my doctors, I'd learned that it was the PCOS that caused my massive weight gain of 100 pounds in a year. It was also PCOS that made it damn near impossible for me to lose weight. My desire to be healthy and to be able to have children further cemented my resolve to have lapband surgery. I'd done the research and knew all the risks involved. These risks were nothing compared to the ticking timebomb of a heart attack that I'd surely have if I stayed at the weight I was. We went to a seminar and shortly after I was already done with my surgeon consult, nutrition class and psych evaluation. My family doctor and cardiologist were both on board and had written my letters of support for the surgery. Now the only road block was our insurance company. Blue Cross/Blue Shield of California had a BMI restriction in their policy. My BMI had to be 49 or less in order for them to approve coverage. Well, needless to say, my BMI was over 49. I struggled to lose the 15 pounds necessary to qualify for the surgery. If it was easy for me to lose weight, I wouldn't have been trying to get the surgery in the first damn place. After almost a year, I'd just about given up. Thankfully, my husband checked the insurance policy again and discovered that they had amended the restriction. So, in November of 2007 we called our insurance company (whose named changed to Anthem Blue Cross/Blue Shield) and they confirmed the restriction had been lifted. We then contacted our surgeon to get the ball rolling for approval. We explained to them that the policy had changed and we should now meet approval for coverage. They stated they would submit the paperwork right away. But...instead of listening to what we told them, they simply reviewed the printed policy they had in their office and sent us a letter stating the BMI requirement. So, we had to call them and reiterate the amendment in the policy. Due to their lack of attention, this set us back two weeks. Finally, they submitted the paperwork as they had originally promised and we got our approval. My surgery was scheduled for March 3rd, 2008. In preparation, I had to spend 4 hours at the hospital for various exams: Upper GI, barium swallow, chest x-ray, blood tests, etc. The week before was spent gathering everything I would need post-surgery. We also cleaned out our fridge and cabinets, tossing out most everything that would not be allowed on my menu. My pre-op consult was on February 28th, only a few days before the surgery. He asked if I had questions. I really didn't. We had done so much research that I felt fully prepared. The truth is that for the two weeks prior to the surgery, I was crying every other hour. I was so worried that something would go wrong. I was envisioning the worst - that I would die during surgery. My concerns revolved around leaving my husband and parents behind. My father has emphysema and COPD and my mother is not as strong as she used to be. I wanted this surgery so that I could be more help to my loved ones - not leave them behind. My hugs lasted longer. Late at night, tears would roll down my cheeks as my husband slept. I made a point to tell my friends how important they are to me. I tried to make sure everyone knew how much I loved them. I had a wonderful time saying good-bye to the foods that I loved. T-Bone steaks are one of my first loves. I was also a Coca-Cola addict. Being asian, jasmine rice was a staple at every dinner...this is probably one of the most difficult habits to break. Luckily, I'd become tired of food, so saying good-bye wasn't difficult. Ultimately, I knew that this was what I needed to do in order to take control of my life and my health. As scary as it was, I was ready.

All the things you mentioned could cause getting stuck. Eating too fast is a big problem for me. I almost always get stuck if I wait too long to eat, get very hungry, then eat too fast. Bread and tortillas often cause problems for me as well. I can eat chicken breast with no problems, but many bandsters find it to dry and it gets stuck. Try slowing down, chewing better and avoiding these 3 foods until Thursday. If things improve, you can probably get a small fill. If they stay the same, don't get a fill. It is a misconception that being really tight will produce faster weight loss. Many people when they are tight turn to poor food choices like ice cream that actually causes weight gain. Also, being too tight can eventually lead to a slip. If you haven't actually PB'd, I think you just need to slow down and be more careful.

To clarify, a piece of cake and ice cream will certainly not bust a diet or cause 5 lbs of fat gain. I've found that starchy/sugary carbs will make me hold more Fluid than consuming salt. And the good news is, the fluid tends to whoose away with extra liquid consumption and reducing the "bad" carbs. Notice I said "reducing" not eliminating? I do have a taste of them, they just aren't the main entree. When I did Atkins induction (several times) I couldn't even taste them without a weight gain (fluid), but within a day or two it would come right back off if I followed the plan. But it was still very discouraging. I lost so much fluid with my pre op and post op diet. My ankles that had been puffy (my sister, who's a nurse called it pitting edema) became bony. But as I began eating real food again some of it came back. I tend to be a person who has considerable fluctuation with fluid. My point was that sometimes it's hard to tell why our weight does these crazy ups and downs. And they are very discouraging. We just have to keep reminding ourselves of the big picture.

yes ia m having the same problem as far as not losing weight. but I am not eating right . I am eating a lot less than before and I do walk but the weight is not coming off. I have been filled around 5 time s I have loss track and don't want to go back for another apointment because I am embarrassed about my weight gain.

My goal is to "eat to live," not "live to eat." I love bread and eating it has gotten me into a lot of weight gain trouble. I am glad that it is difficult to eat bread and other foods with the lap band. This tool will help modify the quantity and types of food I eat. I have proven to myself over and over again throughout the years that I cannot control my urges for food. It's a bummer, but true.

I've been noticing something weird...didn't think much of it, but am giving it alot more thought now. I don't think it's a 'bad' thing...but a phenomena none the less. I met my goal in January and went in for a slight unfill to begin maintenance. The goal at that point was to cease weightloss and ensure no weight gain. The scale would move up a pound or two...or three, but within a week w/o dieting would come back down. Go up, come down. So maintenance is working for me. I'm done! I don't diet and haven't with the band. My goal with the band was modifying my behavior of how much I eat...not what I eat. Dining out so much (used to go several times a day to binge) has stopped. I go about 1-2x a week now. I cook more now instead of my nuke it. So you can see what I eat has changed for the better w/o giving up on the things I love. Thing is, today I weighed myself for the first time in a week (weigh at least weekly so I can catch if I start gaining) I lost another 2 pounds. And this week I haven't eaten as much as I usually do. So...my thoughts are.... I am eating to sustain my weight. My caloric/fat/carb intake is keeping me at 143. But when I go below that, I lose weight. I still have some restriction to keep me from binging. That will be a lifetime challenge for me as I did it for so many years. Anyone else on maintenance and having similar things happen or can anyone share insight as to should I 'diet' and get another unfill to loosen the restriction? Or just count my lucky stars?

Awhhh - thank you! And you are way too sweet! It's hard to see myself as pretty at this weight but i look at pictures of myself when i was thin (not too long ago) and think wow - what a happy woman. I look at pictures of myself now and think "ewwww...who is that"? it's hard to see yourself go from one thing to another so fast. but a lot has gone on in the past 2 years - husband got very sick...new job...etc - no excuse, but things that contributed to the weight gain. i'll keep blogging as long as you keep writing comments that keep inspiring me! :crying:

thank you guys. i haven't had my first doctor's appointment yet, but i did ask my band doc. they said they used to unfill for every pregnancy and the women would gain 100 lbs. being obese, my ideal weight gain is 15 lbs. so, i'm going to try to stick with thtat. i think i've been preg for at least the past month and i've lost 20 lbs. i've read that you need to eat 2200 calories when pregnant. i can't wait to meet with my ob/gyn to find out minimum calorie requirements and Protein requirement. i know that the baby takes it from the mother, but it still worries me. my first son is 7 now, but i didn't know that i was pregnant until i was 4 months (i didn't have periods then, and i didn't have them this time either..crazy huh?) well, i was struggling with anorexia again, so i wasn't eating then either. when i got pregnant i was fine with eating, but i only gained the recommended weight (i was not heavy then). my baby turned out healthy-ish too. he was jaundice really bad and got down to 3 lbs, but they never said that was due to early diet. my band doc called last night and told me to do what i can to avoid throwing up. so, i'm sticking with Protein drinks and solid Proteins in the evening for now. hopefully i'll be getting enough nutrients and Vitamins from my prenatal.

Rapid "weight" gain like that is just Water weight most of the time. If you are eating a lot of canned Soups and the like they have a LOT of sodium (salt) in them, which will make you retain water. You are probably struggling to get your water in as well, trying not to drink 30 mins before, or 30 mins after eating and eating every 3-4 hours is a real challenge (but you'll get the hang of it). This also contributes to the water retention because just as your body stores fat when you don't give it enough food, it stores water when you are not getting enough fluids in. Now you're saying, "How can I not be getting enough fluids if I am on a liquid diet?" Right? Well the liquids in your diet, the soups etc., are going to fill your nutritional needs and while they are technically liquid, there is not enough liquid in them to properly hydrate and nourish your body. Lastly, the surgery and pain medication coupled with the lack of solid foods and reduced amounts of liquids can constipate you in a big hurry. You don't really want to use a laxative but a stool softener is an excellent idea and maybe a little Fiber supplement to clean house and lighten the load a little. So, what to do: 1) Try low sodium soups, etc. 2) Drink as much water as you can during your windows of opportunity 3) Keep things moving in the lower GI (the softener) 4) Most importantly, and most difficult, put away the scale! You should not be worried about any significant weight loss/gain/daily fluctuations right now (or ever for that matter). I used to weigh myself everyday and I was driving myself nuts and often times not doing the things I needed to because I was either mad at the scale if it went up, or scared of it going back up when it did go down. I even convinced myself that I shouldn't workout as much (or at all) because my weight went up every time I went to the gym. Not significantly of course, but it went up because muscle weights more than fat and I didn't like it. Try to focus on what we call NSVs, or non-scale victories. Tying your shoes on the top of your foot, getting a towel to completely cover your body (even if it is a beach towel at first), having your pants fall down when you put your cell phone in your pocket, being able to breathe when you reach the top of the stairs....Priceless! All the wonderful little things that will happen to your body as you lose weight and get healthier. Things that you won't see on the digital scale readout. Things you might not see at all if you are only looking at the arbitrary number on the scale. Be a loser, not a number. I am 15 months post-op and down 108lbs! I started in a size 24 and I just bought a size 10 jeans for the first time since I was 12 years old! The band is your tool belt, but you still have to build the house, patiently. Good luck and feel free to e-mail me anytime.

I wish i had your ability to not stress...i hate Fluid weight gains...so not fair. but - you have your good days and your bad ones. hopefully the good will outweigh the bad! what have you been eating in the mushie stage?

Some banders can eat bread if it's toasted. But yes, rice, bread, Pasta are all carbs and add to weight gain. some people can tolerate those foods and choose not to eat them, others can tolerate them and eat small amounts and some can't eat them. How tight your band is can have an affect on which of those foods you cant eat. Some banders want/need very tight restriction to lose weight, others need less "help" from the band and a lower restriction gives them the "willpower" they need, so how tight YOU need or want your band will allow you some control over which foods you can eat. I can eat toasted bread and I do occassionally, but I know I'll slow down my weight loss and since I can resist the bread, with the help of my band, I just don't eat it often. Same with pasta and rice. I choose not to eat them. Before they band, resisting them was much more difficult.

I did not have a sudden onset of memories, as you had, but have very vivid memories of my childhood. It is tramatizing in both instances and yes these issues are tied to weight gain even when we do not know it. I experienced molestation, rape (twice in one month), physical, emotional and verbal abuse starting at the age of 4 until the age of 15. Ironic that my weight problems began at 15.. something to ponder. You are not alone. You are not to blame and you will be ok. I too have eaten and pushed down all emotions. I am not yet banded and do not know what I will do when there is nothing to stop them from surfacing. Keep us posted on how you are doing. As you are here for support, others will find support in following your journey.

:thumbup: When I was deciding what I was going to do to get ride is 85 pounds, (an entire person) I was carrying around never left my side. I was first saying okay I can have plastic surgery, But then that wouldnt correct the entire weight gain issue, so then I decided to do the Lap Band. My issue is that I dont look like I need to lose 85 pounds (to most people) just like I dont look disabled ( to people) so I had it hard to get approved. My spouse constanly reminds me he loves me Jst like I am (Thank God) but I have to remind him and others it is NOT about him , this is for me. I said that 2008 was going to be My year. I was going to lose the unwanted weight, grow hair ( that is normally shaved) due to the heat in La. and start back focusing on me, I love me so why not? I use to take for granted that I COULD LOSE WEIGHT just like that, I was a runner, 6 miles daily, attend a workout class three times a week, now since I was injured and cannot now, I can relate to those who cannot workout physically ( not being lazy) but they cannot if they wanted to ( oh and we do) belieive me we do. I use to see over weight people and say" why dont they just put the fork down, or jst say No more, or workout or thought they were lazy. I am sorry now I thought like that. My breaking point was weighing 200 pounds.I had to end my addiction and relationship with food, and to see it in another form What was your breaking point? Good luck to you all and with Gods help we all can acheive our Goals.:cool2: Kourtney

:biggrin: When I was deciding what I was going to do to get ride is 85 pounds, (an entire person) I was carrying around never left my side. I was first saying okay I can have plastic surgery, But then that wouldnt correct the entire weight gain issue, so then I decided to do the Lap Band. My issue is that I dont look like I need to lose 85 pounds (to most people) just like I dont look disabled ( to people) so I had it hard to get approved. My spouse constanly reminds me he loves me Jst like I am (Thank God) but I have to remind him and others it is NOT about him , this is for me. I said that 2008 was going to be My year. I was going to lose the unwanted weight, grow hair ( that is normally shaved) due to the heat in La. and start back focusing on me, I love me so why not? I use to take for granted that I COULD LOSE WEIGHT just like that, I was a runner, 6 miles daily, attend a workout class three times a week, now since I was injured and cannot now, I can relate to those who cannot workout physically ( not being lazy) but they cannot if they wanted to ( oh and we do) belieive me we do. I use to see over weight people and say" why dont they just put the fork down, or jst say No more, or workout or thought they were lazy. I am sorry now I thought like that. My breaking point was weighing 200 pounds.I had to end my addiction and relationship with food, and to see it in another form What was your breaking point? Good luck to you all and with Gods help we all can acheive our Goals.:tt2: Kourtney

Well, went to the doc yesterday and I get to FINALLY come off my steroids, so I'm hoping the weight will start falling off. It's horrible the weight gain i've had. And not eating right is not helping either. Shawn - yes, I think we are all struggling and need to hang close to the thread so we can get and give support. I know I'm having a hard time but trying to overcome it. Damn that chocolate!

I have BCBS also HMO in Massachusetts and they didn't ask for this form. I needed a referral from my primary and then document was submitted for approval. I just happen to be with the same doctor for over seven years and they had a record of my weight gain and lose over the years maybe that is what they used. But speak with BCBS and they asked me several questions and he said if you can answer yes to one of them then you will qualify. His questions were is my BMI over 40 - yes are you over 100 pounds over weight - yes does your doctor recommend this - yes, over the past few years have you tried any other method and list the methods - yes I named them all. Can you see if you can talk with your primary and get referal or he or she can write the letter for you to BSBS? I hope all goes well for you!

I apreciate you not WANTing to sound like a cold heartless a$$, but you are only reading what you want to read. Does nobody actually read an entire post? I have said many things in my posts but I don't recall talking about wanting to EAT. I said and I quote "I am looking for options on removal, but in no way am I looking for imeadiate removal. " and the reason: "One less thing to cope with and one less thing to learn to function through one less kind of pain." Which means I AM IN PHYSICAL PAIN from the band, the gas is one thing, but everytime I eat I IF I get solids I have to take TINY bites and chew VERY slowly, more so than what the doctors have explained over and over to me. THEY (meaning the doctors) unfilled me because of this... it has helped but not entirely. Nausea and shoulder pain are STILL a daily thing for me ON TOP of everything else. This has been going on Since the first day I was banded. NO WHERE DID I SAY I WANTED THE BAND OFF TO EAT!!!! Where do you get this??? I know I haven't been as successful as the rest of you but why do you think I would get it off just to EAT!!!???? I lost 35lbs my first month...I went from 292lbs - 257lb...yay me...everybody dies then unfortunatly I began drinking alchohl and fruit juice...whole milk....ice cream...mashed potatos...because A.) those were the foods I could keep down and, B.) Yes they were comfort foods. I gained back up to 278lbs and I stopped all the foolishness once I realized what I was doing...I switched to healthier semi-solid foods...I am back down to 270lbs( have since been mantaining that weight), however the weight gain I am most disapointed about was the gain of FAT and Loss of Muscle that is what really worried me... lifting weights had to stop because of port pain. stretching my arms over my head or twisting, crunches all resulted in feeling like my port was being ripped from my muscle. Curves hurts but if I start to over tax myself (unlike other gyms) no one puts me down or looks at me in disgust for taking it easy til the pain gets to an easier point and I can begin again. BUT I KEEP GOING! I have also said that I have been working to correct what I've been doing...instead of a milk and Ice cream I'm now just sipping slimfast. I can keep that down. THAT is also a baby step in the right direction is it not?? I know how big I am I know I could gain more weight with band removal...thats why I am just taking in OPTIONS. Being on the band isn't the easy way to lose weight...so why would you attack me for wanting the option of removal which is Obviously a harder way??? Instead of trying to talk me into keeping the band users attack me and call me stupid and lazy and to top it off you think I want if off for the sole pleasure of EATING? I could have kept eating the ice cream and mashed potoatos and shakes if all I really wanted was to eat because those were my comfort foods before the band anyway. But I haven't...I am 22lbs down STILL from my heaviest. What are banders who are happy with their bands doing on a thread for people who aren't happy anyway? Do you get a sick kick out of making people who probly already feel like failures feel THAT musch worse about themselves?? Do you feel better? You said come here to vent and scream and whine...I thought thats what I was doing...but as of yet you and the others have not allowed me to do so without feeling like a complete A$$. Like you said, this is MY LIFE and MY experiance how could you take what I said so personally when I've been spending all my time defending your attacks? Better question; why would I want to be a part of such a judgemental community? I thougt I was in a forum where I could complain and discuss removal without judgement. I am grateful for those who have given me the little kind support I have recieved. I'm hurt and disapointed in those of you who think I'm looking for an easy way out...by now there is no such thing as the easy way, I am damned if I remove (no tool to help in my weightloss) and damned if I leave it in (constant physical pain)

If this continues for another week, I would call the doctor. This just happened to me. My band was tightened in mid-December. I was ok the 1st 2 weeks. Of course the 1st week is no solid food. The 2nd week I was ok when I began eating solids foods but then after that was a nightmare. Food kept getting stuck, sometimes water. There were days I went without eating at all. I also had pain on my right side. I would give it another week and nothing changes I would call. After over a month of suffering found out that my old doctor put too much saline in my band. It was actually cutting into my stomach. Most of the saline was taken out and I was told to give my stomach a rest. Don't be so overly concerned about weight gain. Avoiding complications is more important. Also you should avoid eating solid foods if you just had your band filled 2/28. If you need to eat something more filling, try tomato soup. Bread definitely is too hard for your stomach to digest right after a band adjustment.

Congratulations on your new band! The answer is yes, of course I would do it again in a heartbeat. Just like many of the others on here, I wish that I would have done it sooner instead of waiting, dieting losing weight, gained it back, etc. Finally this is helping me to put a "safety" so I don't fall back in my old ways. I love it!

I woke up this morning and still nothing. I think one of my biggest troubles is my darn time of the month, I always am heavier at this time. If the scale doesn't budge tomorrow then I think I'm going to try the Hollywood diet which is just a drink. I'm going to follow no carbs until then, keep drinking my 72 ozs. of Water, doing my walk and then I won't eat anything the morning of my weigh in. Luckily my appointment is at 10:00 am. I am having my surgery done at Highland Hospital here in Rochester, NY and because this is a Bariatric Center of Excellence they require all patients to take this nutritional counseling and you must not show a weight gain at all before surgery. I would just like to say thank you for taking the time to reply to me. I have used these boards throughout my entire process and they have been like my little banding bible. It's nice to get the positive with the negative so you are totally prepared. I am getting quite frustrated but I only have to pass this weigh in, on March 10th I have my sonogram, March 11th my psych consult and then within 2 weeks I meet with my surgeon, Dr. Thaddeus Trus and the hard part, waiting for approval from my insurance. I just hope it is all worth it. I am having a hard time not drinking with meals and giving up my beloved diet coke.

Positives: Less risky surgery, no rerouting of my insides, no malabsorption of nutrients. No dumping syndome. Adjustable. Negatives: Slower weight loss. Both groups can struggle with weight gain once weight loss is acheived. Our brains are very smart in finding ways to eat around our surgeries. It takes dedication no matter which you choose, but both are "aids" to help us, so I chose the less risky, less invasive one. What happens to GBP people as they age and they have low Iron levels etc.? both procedures can be done laproscopically, if your Dr. doesn't do them that way, I'd find another Dr. Every person that gets either procedure do it because they have been unable to stop eating something, if these procedures didn't help no one would be successful and many are, so the procedures do help, it's a matter of to what eventual level of success each person achieves. Does your Dr. think you're the only overweight person that likes biscuits and cake?

No more chub-rub I love skirts but not when it causes burns on my inner thighs. Not wearing sweat pants or some other variation of non buttoning elastic wasted pants with a t shirt becasue I can't offerd to keep up with my weight gain and my clothes anymore. Being able to see my hoo ha without a mirror because my stomach is in the way. Not having my bra underwire either pop out on every bra or poke into my arm fat and hurt me all day. To walk straight for a long time without my lower back tensing up and taking my breath away. To have predictable regular periods. To not feel so bitter when i go to the beach or the bar or anywhere and see thin girls, I'm a nice person but i'm so jelous of thin girls that can wear whatever they want I think awful thoughts about them. It's so hypocritical. To feel comfortable being me and not so self conciece of what others may or may not think of me becasue i'm the short fat girl. To fit into my old express size 12 jeans

Hello all! I have been out of town for the last week and just got back. I was so eager to get back on-line and see how my Victorious Valentine friends are doing. So here's my update. The bad news: I'm hungry! I'm a week away from my first fill, and feel no restriction at all. I can eat as much as I want (but I'm not) and haven't felt overfull since my swelling went down. Staying under 1000 cal. when you're hungry stinks!! I suppose this is band hell? But no weight gain, thankfully - just a pitiful pound a week loss for the last 2 weeks. While I was out of town visiting my sister, it was so hard not to indulge! Besides an unfortunate incident involving ice cream at a movie theater, I managed to stay partially on track. The good news: Last time I flew on an airplane, I just barely got the belt fastened. I knew I was a few lbs away from a belt extender - my worst nightmare. The thing was so tight that my belly was almost hanging completely over the belt and I had to hold my magazine just right so the flight attendant wouldn't notice I was being cut in half by the belt!! This week I flew, and guess what - 4 beautiful inches of spare belt hanging out AFTER I buckled it!! And, for the first time in years, my butt stayed nicely on my side of the seat, and did not pooch out under the armrest and steal space from my seat mate. Now, that is an NSV to celebrate! Whew...it is good to be back! Please tell me some of you are experiencing bandster hell also??

My weight (gain or loss) had been the center of my existence ofr years. I mean you could pretty much tell where i was in my eternal "diet" by my mood. If i got on the scale and I was down a few pounds...I am ready to break out the streamers and the champagne cuz all was well with the world. if the scale (liar that it is) had the *audacity* to tell me that I had gained weight.. then Off with It's head and cancel Christmas. I had to stop living like that. It was "this would not be (insert problem here) if i was not fat. it sounds really dramtic to me now...but every once in a while it seems like the purest logic in teh world. even before i decided to have this WLS i was telling myself that everything would be all rainbows and kittens once I lost this weight and started looking more like an "after" photo than a "before" photo. I have to give myself reality checks quite often. I am not a huge fan of Dr. Phil, but I will give him credit for this one. Reality check: you can never, ever, use weight loss to solve problems that are not related to your weight. At your goal weight or not, you still have to live with yourself and deal with your problems. You will still have the same husband, the same job, the same kids, and the same life. Losing weight is not a cure for life. ~Phillip C. McGraw I am slowly teaching myself that I can not use the scale as in indicator of my happiness. I am not going to act as if i have perfected this, but i am trying very hard to not do it. I have already accepted the fact that there will be times that I will still be unhappy with my weight, but i cant let it pull the rest of my life down. I have also realized that my weight will always be an inssue for me...it WILL be something that I have to manage for the rest of my life. However, the key thing is that I won't let my weight completely manage my happiness. It will be a factor in my happiness...i cant help that...but it will not be the sole captain of my happiness. Mia, i honestly think if you keep the attitude that you have you will do great. I can tell by the way you brought out that "S" on your chest and your cape near the end of your post! :blushing: Not to mention you have the support of some of the most fantastic people in the state of Georgia :cough: bagnato bandits :cough:. Note: I do apologize for the length of my posts and the fact that i think i sounded like a psychiatrist..but none of my freinds who are of normal weight have this "the scale rules my life" attitude and they jsut dont seem to grasp it. it still hurts me when i see people doing that because i was the Ultra Princess Diva of allowing my happiness to go up and down with the scales.