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liquids, Protein shakes with ff milk applesauce sf, sf Jello, sf pudding no diet soda or alcohol reg vitamins stopped vitamins a week prior to surgery per dr request (vit e reasons)

Thanks so much for all the suggestions! I was trying to avoid a cooler, but I'm thinking I'm just going to have to suck it up and take one. Feeling a lot better about hitting the highway! Now about being the only sober one with all my drunken friends.... Doc was very specific about no alcohol until 3 months. Should be interesting.

The issues with alcohol and the lapband are that alcohol is empty calories, drinking alcohol can lower your resistance to making poor food choices, and you may be affected more quickly by a smaller amount of alcohol. I had a drink on Friday evening (16 months post-op) and felt the effects quite quickly.

Ah, I couldn't live with my frozen margaritas! Alcoholic drinks offer no nutritional value and are simply empty calories, so you must track them closely. SageTracey hit the nail right on the head! My thought is, a few drinks will not hurt you, but definitely won't help your weight loss goals either.

Can't really vouch for post band, but I'm a long time low carber and my goal was always 20-30 after subtracting fiber/sugar alcohols (aka net carbs). that was being very strict, tho. Most of my carbs would come from vegetables or quest bars

Quest bars work well for travelling - their protein density is as good as anything out there (20 g in 160-200 calories depending upon variety,) most of their carbs are fiber which we need and they use little of no sugar alcohols which many people are sensitive to. And, they travel well as they aren't frosted or coated so they don't care if they get heated/cooled or squashed, in fact many people will microwave them for a few seconds to warm them a bit. They are available online (http://www.questproteinbar.com/) which doesn't help you at the moment, but are also commonly available from GNC and Vitamin Shoppe (they do have a locator for local suppliers on their website.)

September has been a crazy busy month! I am actually looking forward to my surgery, so I can rest. I am a person that strives to do everything, even when there isn't enough time. I had to admit defeat this month and miss out on a family wedding. I was disappointed that I didn't get to celebrate my cousin's marriage to his beautiful bride and spend the day with family. However, I spent the day out at a little airport with my husband and a group of his students. Although it rained most of the day and the days plans were ruined, it was still a good day. Watching how passionate everyone is about aviation was quite a sight. There was a group of atleast 50 people that sat around inside just waiting for the weather to clear for about 6 hours. Optimism was abundant and the pure passion they all have for aviation was abundant. My husband’s passion for aviation is unwavering, job losses, uncaring bosses, he just keeps driving on. Recently he said to me, “If you loved being an engineer half as much as I love being an aircraft mechanic, you would have so much fun.” Where does my passion lie? Sure I am an engineer, mostly because I was good at math. Did I choose to be an engineer? No, my dad thought I would be good at it. There are days that I absolutely love my job and many where it is just a job. What I really love is helping people. Last night when I was walking back to my hotel from dinner, I gave a dollar to an older gentleman in a doorway. I know, you shouldn’t give money to beggars as they usually buy alcohol or drugs with it. It really wasn’t about the dollar, I was nice to him, told him to have a nice evening and his face lit up. I had just watched a man and his children completely ignore the older gentleman. Amazing how a bit of kindness can brighten someone’s day and your own. I do love helping people when I do my job, just need to find more days where I love it. My surgery is in 9 days. One class to finish, a Piper's Barkery event at a dog fair and one work day to survive! I know I can do it! Ready for the next chapter in my life. I will then have 3 ½ weeks off from work to recuperate. Hope I can do a little self-reflection and rediscover my passion in life.

I am thrilled with my results, but I have also put the work needed into it. I work out regularly and watch what I eat. I dont let one slip up ruin the rest of my day/week. I also know that I am human and I'm going to allow myself a bowl of ice cream if thats what I want. If I'm out with friends, I am going to have a glass or two of alcohol.

If you seriously want to lose 22lbs or 10 kilograms in 28 days then you must perform all of the principles exactly as recommended. Unlike the recommendations in my book, ‘Look good, feel great!', where you can pick the principles you want to use and ignore the rest and where you can even modify the principles to suit your lifestyle, these principles must be followed exactly as they are outlined. If you want extraordinary results, then you must be willing to put in an extraordinary effort! I realise that some people may be thinking, ‘But it is impossible to lose 10 kilograms of fat in a month!' I agree- it is! However, the truth is, it is impossible to only lose fat on any type of weight-loss program. You will always lose a combination of fat, water, stored carbohydrate and some muscle. Furthermore, most people who want to lose 10 kilograms in the first place are generally retaining excess fluid anyway, so a system that helps get rid of the excess fluid is certainly going to accelerate their results. Perform 30-60 minutes of aerobic exercise morning and night. Yes, you read that correctly, morning and night- 2 sessions a day… every day! No excuses. We're all busy, we all feel tired some mornings, but if you're serious about getting amazing results, then you must be willing to do everything necessary. When we talk about aerobic exercise, we're talking about exercise! Not walking around the shops, doing the gardening or doing housework. It must be exercise, which means your breathing rate increases, your face goes red, you sweat, you get tired- simple! Some examples of aerobic exercise include: walking (pounding the pavement at a brisk pace- not dawdling), cycling (stationary bike is ideal), swimming, rowing, stepper, cross-trainer, aerobic classes, boxing, etc. Use ‘thermogenics'. There are several very effective thermogenic supplementson the market that can accelerate your progress towards your goal. Those containing caffeine, green tea extracts and an extract from a plant called coleus forskohlii are the most effective. They will boost your metabolismand promote the release of fat from the fat stores. ‘Scorch' by MAN Sports is a good example. It contains a combination of 7 powerful herbal ingredients specifically designed to boost your metabolism, burn body fat and increase your energy. Unfortunately though, thermogenics are not ‘magic pills'. You can't expect to take a couple of thermogenic capsules and then go home and eat pizza and drink alcohol and expect to get results. Thermogenics only work when their use is combined with a good nutrition and exercise program. Take 1-2 capsules twice a day; once prior to your morning exercise session and once with your lunch. Don't take them later than 4:00pm in the afternoon because they may keep you awake at night. Before using thermogenics, see your doctor first and obtain their approval. Do not eat anything for 30 minutes after the completion of any exercise. As a result of using the thermogenics combined with the exercise, your metabolism will remain elevated for some time after the exercise session is finished. This means your body will burn fuel at a faster rate than normal. Any exercise causes the body to use carbohydrate (muscle glycogen and blood glucose) as a fuel source. This means that after the exercise is completed the carbohydrate stores in the body are low and the body will be forced to use fat as its fuel. If a meal is eaten immediately after the completion of the exercise session, the blood glucose level will rise, inducing the secretion of insulin from the pancreas. One of the effects of insulin is to stop fat burning in the body. Therefore, wait 30 minutes (but no longer because cortisol will rise) before having your next meal. Perform a weight training workout 2-4 times a week. Lifting weights is the most under-estimated way to lose fat fast! Now, before you start saying, ‘But I don't want to get big muscles!' or ‘I don't want to look like a man!', consider the following. The main purpose of lifting weights when your primary goal is to lose body fat is to preserve the muscle massyou already have. You see, muscle is the ‘engine' within which the fat, or ‘fuel' is burnt and maintaining or even increasing your muscle mass slightly will help ensure your body fat is burnt off efficiently. If you don't lift weights, your body will quite happily lose both fat and muscle as you drop the kilos. Lifting weights forces your body to maintain your muscle mass, therefore keeping your metabolism elevated and turning your body into 24-hour-a-day fat-burning machine! Incidentally, it only takes two 30 minute sessions a week to obtain the muscle preserving benefits of lifting weights. Have 5-6 small meals a day. One of the most common strategies people use to lose weight is to skip meals. Whilst reducing food intake is certainly an effective way to lose weight, having fewer meals is not the way to go. Many overweight people say, ‘I don't know why I'm overweight, I only eat once or twice a day!' Unfortunately, this is exactly why they are overweight. Having a mild calorie restriction is effective because if you consume less calories than you burn each day you will lose weight- simple! However, skipping meals forces the body to invoke its ‘Starvation Mechanism' because it thinks it is entering a famine. As a result, the body slows the metabolism to preserve energy. It also increases cortisol output and cortisol is the most powerful catabolic hormone in the body, which means it goes around the body breaking down lean tissue, particularly muscle. A loss of muscle slows the metabolism even further. Skipping meals also results in an increase in appetite, which forces you to eat larger amounts of food when you do eat. In addition to all these factors, the body also increases the activity of fat-storing enzymes, lipoprotein lipase (LPL) and fatty acid synthase (FAS), so when you do eat the food gets stored as fat. All of this results from simply skipping meals! By having a small meal every 2-3 hours throughout the day, your metabolism stays elevated and your body will happily burn fat all day long. Unfortunately though, most people are conditioned to having large meals and they automatically assume they will put on weight if they have 5 or 6 meals a day. The fact is, the ideal portion sizes for most people are actually quite small and in order to lose weight fast it is essential that you never feel full from a meal but you do feel satisfied. Also, most people find it difficult to have a meal every 2-3 hours throughout the day because they are so busy with work and/ or family commitments. Here are some suggestions to ensure you get your 5 or 6 meals a day. • Plan and prepare your meals the night before • Use meal replacements (protein shakes or bars) • Select foods that are quick and easy to prepare and consume Ensure each meal contains protein. Protein is a component of all cells and makes up over half the dry weight of the human body. Furthermore, the human body is a dynamic structure, which means it is constantly building up and breaking down tissue. Just imagine a bath full of water. At one end of the bath the plug is pulled out and at the other end the tap is turned on full. The water level in the bath doesn't change but there are ‘new' water molecules entering the bath and ‘old' water molecules leaving the bath all the time. The human body is exactly the same. If the body breaks down more tissue than it builds up, then it is said to be in a catabolic state. This results in the metabolism slowing down due to the loss of muscle tissue. Having a portion of high-quality protein every few hours throughout the day provides the body with a constant supply of amino acids- the building blocks of the body. This prevents the catabolic state, promotes an anabolic state (tissue building) and therefore keeps the metabolism ‘fired-up'. If only carbohydrate or fat is consumed for a meal, for example a piece of fruit (carbohydrate) for the mid-morning meal, then the body will still enter a catabolic state because it doesn't have the building blocks (amino acids) to re-build body tissues. Protein, as its name suggests, is of primary importance. Reduce your intake of high-density carbohydrates. Most high-density carbohydrates like bread, pasta, rice and cereals cause a rapid rise in blood glucose. This invokes the release of insulin from the pancreas, which in turn stores the glucose. The body stores glucose in the muscles and liver as glycogen and once these sites are full, the remaining glucose gets stored as body fat. Not only this, but insulin also stops the body from mobilising and utilising fat for fuel (burning fat). So if you want to maximise fat loss, you need to keep insulin to a minimum and the best way to do this is by reducing your intake of starchy carbohydrates without cutting them out altogether. Cutting them out totally is a philosophy of many low-carb diets on the market. However, these are very hard to sustain long-term and may lead to nutrient deficiencies. Each day, have a small amount (1-2 serves) of high density carbohydrates (bread, pasta, rice, cereals); a moderate amount (2-3 serves) of medium density carbohydrates (starchy vegetables and fruits); and a large amount (5-6 serves) of low density carbohydrates (fibrous vegetables). [For a complete list of carbohydrates, see pages 136-138 of the book, ‘ Look good, feel great! ] Do not have a Treat Day. Since you are expecting an extraordinary result, it is essential that you put in an extraordinary effort. Accordingly, for the next 28 days you must follow the plan exactly as it is outlined without deviating. This means you can't allow yourself to indulge in any ‘forbidden foods'. This also means avoiding alcohol for the entire 28-day period. I know this may be hard for some people but let's face it, it is only for 28 days! By committing to the plan and disciplining yourself to see it through, you are ensuring that the results will follow. Plus, the disciplines you create to help you achieve your physical goal will have a ‘carry-over benefit' to other areas of your life as well. I wish you the greatest success in achieving outstanding results! * Before using any nutritional supplement, speak with your health care professional.

Mine is Ellise , level 49 Shadow priest.. Chromaggus server. lol. And I love battlegrounds. I'm geared up with purples and blues and trying to get my new boots right now. It is fun for sure. I don't think I'll transfer my addiction to alcohol as I'm really not a big drinker.. actually the last time I've been drunk was at my bachelorette party over a year ago.. but last night I was definitely tipsy.. If it becomes a habit I'll make sure to check myself and not go too far.. WOW = World of Warcraft. It's mostly a guy game, but it's fun. It does cost a monthly fee of like 15 bucks and it helps to have somebody show you what to do. I teased about the 16 year olds.. actually theres a lot of older men on there too.. my husband being one of them and most of his friends play too. If you're a chick in the game you get hit on A LOT actually. lol Somebody mentioned the calories in a glass of this wine and I looked it up and its only 40 calories and nothing else.. no carbs or anything..

The best exercise is the one you will stick with. I was so disappointed recently when I looked up calories in alcohol and found that most liquor is about 70 calories per ounce. One ounce! Not counting mixers! Not fair. I had just discovered the joys of spiced rum, too.

I would wait until your Dr. says it's OK. Everything has to heal and we don't really need the calories. I was banded on 10-25-07. I did not drink any alcohol until my 30th anniversary a few weeks ago. It did not bother me but you know after I drank the beer, I didn't really feel I needed it either. Finished the meal off with unsweetened ice tea. I think that sometimes it's just something to do at a party.

For me personally, I have a hard time with sugar free foods because of the sugar alcohols. Everyone is different though. The key is moderation!

I'm not and wasn't a food addict so I can't address addiction transfer. Yes I weighed 405 but it wasn't an addiction, or at least not like to cigarettes or drugs. HOWEVER I did have other issues with food! And yes my life is 1000000% better already and I am just getting started. The BIG difference is hope. Not optimism, but hope. I've been able to diet well in the past but always gained back everything plus 20-30 more pounds. Now I know when I get tired of a diet, the band can help keep me in place until I muster the energy to go on again. And once I hit goal, that restriction will help keep me there. To me, the band was the missing ingredient. Now that I've found it, my life will never ever be the same again. The hardest part for me was the liquid diet my surgeon had me on for 2 weeks post op. Lots of people do turn to gambling or alcohol though, but a good therapist can help you past that if it becomes an issue for you! :smile2:

It's been over a year since I've had carbonated beverages, caffeine, or alcohol. It turned out to be much easier than I ever would have guessed.

Im ashamed to say my only vomiting experience in seven years - even through chemotherapy - was alcohol related a few monthsagp. Retching but mothing came up. Then i fell aslep, lol.

Aren't we humans a funny bunch? Last sunday morning, me, hubby and kids got up at 4.00am (yup, that's A.M.) to go to Tara (Ancient Seat of the Kings of Ireland!) to take part/witness the Summer Solstice Festival - I had mentioned to Donali that we would be going, and during the ceremory (mad hippy people in rainbow robes and face glitter!!) I met lots of americans who always seem interested in Irish mysticism - they were dressed up the most, and were really cheerful and enjoying the early rise, much more that the locals I have to say! I was thinking about Donali, and all of my american friends on lapband talk, and really felt happy and at peace with my banded life! Well, we eventually got home at about 9.00 am and all fell into bed until about 12 or 1.00 - everyone was asleep so I went to check for new posts here, and was completely shocked and horrified to read Donali's post about her band erosion - I was devastated that this little statistic would hit "one of us" - my heart went out to Donali, and I was remembering our last few emails where we were reflecting on sliding into bad habits and eating rubbish lately - where does my thinking end up.....? Me comparing my recent "symptoms" with Donali's symptoms, suddenly feeling a "gallbladder like attack" (which I have never had in my entire life!) I then scrolled down to see who else was online, and there were about 5 other people, all reading past posts about band erosion - my god, I thought, we are all so worried and convinced that we have the same thing going on inside! I have been barely eating in the last 48 hours, treating each mouthful like ground glass! And then I read Megan's post about never taking her band for granted again, which really impressed me - I had a decent breakfast today and got my ass to the gym, vowing too, to never take my band for granted. I was so humbled to read Donali's post in this thread, and see her pick herself up, and dust herself off, ready to face whatever is coming - I am so impressed and inspired - you are the best Donali :Bunny :Bunny :Bunny :Bunny The other thing I wanted to say is, while I love my band, and I lost 62lbs with it so far, through making bad choices recently, it has been 8 weeks since I lost anything - well, I was up 2, down 3, up 1, down 4....etc but I feel I have to make a conscious effort to lose weight and cannot depend solely on the band - what DOES work brilliantly for me, is following the food recommendations in the book "Potatoes not Prozac" book by Kathy De Maisons - she maintains that some obese people have a sugar sensitivity, and the programme she worked out was originally aimed at alcoholics - they were able to abstain from alcohol longer if they cut sugar out of their diet. What I am saying is, Donali, you may find this book a great help while your band is removed/waiting for rebanding etc - I have to (controversially!) say, I reckon it helps me with my food addiction more than the band has! The band doesn't mind what I eat, but if I stay away from sugar, I don't have the screaming craving that comes with sugar addiction. Apologies this is so long, it's late here and I'm falling asleep - I promise I'll edit this tomorrow! hugs to everyone xxx

Did anyone who had to do Optifast before their band have such severe issues with it as I am having? I feel like an alcoholic trying to stay off of liquor only my liquor is food. I am so frustrated and tempted to eat and I have to call people to help keep me occupied so that I do not eat. I have followed my doctors orders thus far with my 5 shakes a day and some sugar free jello but I am so frustrated and miserable. I need to do this and I don't want to cheat, heck I have even incorporated 30 minutes of walking during my lunch break at work, but I am seriously going nuts when I get home and ahve to make dinner for the kids. Hubby has been doing what he can to help but he works three nights a week this week and next and I HAVE to make dinner for the kids. I am just so frustrated and looking at the prize at the end is not even helping. I don't know if I can make it though 9 more days of this.

Fine, maybe a little constipated now. I started the slow shuffle the day after surgery as much as possible and used gas-x like crazy and the kaopectate stopped the sugar alcohol runs and I did try just one pop today to see and it did cause some running, so, for me it is definitely only those ingredients so far. My BM's have become solid. I will find out tonight if milk sugars will do me in. I had been using chicken stock or Water in my cream soups and light soy milk in my Protein shakes and cream of wheat, tonight I am making cream of mushroom with 1% milk. I also mix cream of wheat (its on my list) with most of my cream soups for bulk, as my swelling resolved pretty fast :thumbup: and physical hunger is rearing it's head. I didn't like having the runs and I didn't check with my doc about the otc meds for it, as it was the weekend. Everyone is different and that will go away eventually!

I haven't made it a secret that I'm seeing a therapist. I have other issues (marriage related) that I'm dealing with, but she's also helping me address my addictive personality. I HAVE a food addiction that I cannot indulge since being sleeved. She's helping me motivate myself to exercise and do other things. One of my favorite frustration busters is to take my tiny little 3 pound weights and do some arm work. The arm exercises let me feel like I'm hitting who/whatever is frustrating me. Walking also helps, even on the treadmill, because it lets me feel like I'm walking away from the problem. I was told by my pre-op psyche doctor that I WILL be an alcoholic. I'm working very hard to make sure that doesn't happen. I wasn't a person who drank before and I have no intention of starting now. The best advice I can give to emotional eaters is to find something else to do with your frustration/triggers for eating. Love on your kids, exercise, SHOP if that's what does it for you. Just find something to use so that you don't sabotage your weight loss.

I have years of dieting, exercising, nutrition counseling, personal trainers, and diet pills to prove otherwise. First off I want to say, you know the truth and you wrote it in the sentence above. This decision is between you and your medical providers, not family members who don't know jack about surgery. - bowel control problems I have had no bowel control problems - vomiting I haven't thrown up once since surgery 2+ years ago - weakness it took me a couple weeks to get through post-op weakness. Since then I am stronger than ever. Come join me in my weight-lifting workout and judge for yourself whether weight loss causes weakness - hair loss this is a temporary, cosmetic issue and there are lots of ways to deal with it - depression because you cannot eat Of course you can eat! You just can't eat as much and if you are smart, you will change the sorts of things you eat on a usual basis. Food is still enjoyable, at least after you get through the first weeks of transition after surgery. If you are someone who uses food as an emotional crutch, I certainly recommend seeking therapy to go along with surgery, because yes, you will have to learn new coping and soothing mechanisms. - can you drink alcohol (if you do) I could if I wanted to, but I've never been a big drinker so this is moot for me. - problems with loose skin I have some loose skin, it doesn't cause me any problems that Spanx and somewhat modest clothing cannot solve. - visible scars I have no visible scars from vsg. My dermatologist had to get out her lighted magnifying glass to find them. Besides that, you can't go through life refusing to do things because you might get a scar. We all have scars. Are you going to decide not to have children because you might end up with a cesearian scar? - will it interfere with social life? Not unless your social life is centered on binge eating, in which case I would recommend re-evaluating and making some changes with respect to your social life, rather than forgoing surgery. - will it prevent me from being a mom one day No, it will help you be a mom. If you decide to get pregnant, losing weight makes it easier for you to get pregnant, stay pregnant, and safely deliver a healthy baby. Pregnancy only requires about an extra 300 calories per day for your fetus, and that is easily achieved even with a post-vsg stomach. If you decide to adopt, you can count on being a healthier and more active mom to your children. Seriously, research obesity and pregnancy and obesity and childbirth and you will see that losing weight is one of the very best things you can do on this front. - when can I return to work? (Not a strenuous job) Probably 1 - 3 weeks after surgery. Good luck!

Hey guys, I'm getting closer to this reality, and after a negative conversation with a family member I'm considering backing out on surgery. His concern is that I should be able to loose weight on my own. I have years of dieting, exercising, nutrition counseling, personal trainers, and diet pills to prove otherwise. I am 30 years old with a BMI of 36 and I have no children, but would like to one day. Here is a list of my fear/concern: - bowel control problems - vomiting - weakness - hair loss - depression because you cannot eat - can you drink alcohol (if you do) - problems with loose skin - visible scars - will it interfere with social life? - will it prevent me from being a mom one day - when can I return to work? (Not a strenuous job) Thank you in advance for any advice! This is such a big decision and I want it to be the right one!

I dont know if this is the right answer, but for me, looking back at my food logs, on average, my diet ends up being 1/3 fat, 1/3 protein, 1/3 carbs. Its pretty even. That seems to work okay for me. Two weekends ago I no carbed it for 2 days (I was trying to break through a plateau) and on those days, it was roughly 47% percent protein, 48% fat, 5% carbs. You should check out fitday.com to log your food. When you log your food, fitday creates a pie chart for your day showing percentage of fat carbs and protein (and also alcohol but I dont really drink alcohol so thats never a factor for me). They also have pie graphs for all individual foods (incuding foods that you custom enter) and you can also see pie graphs for longer lengths of time (like 1 month or 6 months...so you can so your overall trend). Its great, especially for monitoring your protein intake. If you're aiming for a certain number (say 65g of protein a day), it makes it really easy to track that. I log my food (literally everything single thing that goes in my mouth) on fitday and its been absolutely invaluable. When I don't log, I dont do as well. You can also track your exercise on there as well.

I am hiding my name as I am a regular poster here on the boards so I have a new screen name. About 4 years ago, I went to rehab for 30 days because I was drinking too much. Fast forward about 2.5 years ago I relapsed. I was banded 2 years ago. I drink every day. Sometimes 2 drinks, sometimes a bottle of wine. Over July 4th weekend I drank 6 bottles of champagne with a friend of mine between 2-9pm along with shots of tequilla. I was not hung over as my tolerance was so high. I drank the following day probably another bottle or so of champagne. I decided to quit on Sunday 2 days after July 4th so Sunday I had 2 beers. I don't like beer. By Tuesday I was feeling terrible. I was going through huge withdrawals so I went to the hospital knowing I would see my doctor the following day. The gave me Adtavan (spelling). for the anxiety and insomnia. I went to the doctor the following day hoping he would support me in my recovery to rejoin AA and to get through the next 1-3 days of withdrawals and he didn't. He referred me back to my Psychatrist who handles my depression and bi polar disorder (I have been balanced for 3 years). I called him not to receive a call back or anything. That day I decided the withdrawals were too much so I had a beer. Since then I have been trying to limit my alcohol consumption to 2 drinks but it is more like 4 or 5. Mostly champagne and tequilla. I don't want to go to rehab again. I do believe that if I can get my doctor or Psychiatrist (who is on vacation and I see in early August) to help me with the withdrawals I can get sober again. I did enjoy AA when I was involved with them 4 years ago however I had a hard time finding a suitable sponsor which I know is key. I am not looking for sympathy but understanding. I would really like to get this back under control. How did you get sober? Is there a chance for me if I'm serious again? Fit for Life.

I am not an addict but i can offer you some advise as a drug an alcohol counselor, in my opinion you need to detox and although you said you do not want to go back to rehab it may be the best choice for you. If you decide that you do not want to go back to rehab after detox you need to get right back into AA you don't need a sponsor to go and sit in a meeting and just listen. I agree that you seem to be hiding behind excuses, I know that this is very hard but you have done it before so you can do it again! If you need any advice or someone to vent to feel free to private message me!